Happy Holidays

So I'm back in Ottawa now. I spent Christmas with Rob and his family in Madoc. They have less snow out there than we got. It was nice to get out of the city for a few days. The air is different, you can actually breathe. I always liked that about the country.

His family is really nice and they were good to me. It's a lot different from my family. They are so supportive and close. It's nice, but a bit scary because I'm not used to it yet. I'm used to the distance in my family. Having been on my own for so long, I'm used to it that way. Going to my mother's never felt like going home. It always felt like a visit or something like that. Y'know?

My son has been busy playing with his new toys. He was so excited about everything going on. I missed him when I was away. I didn't leave him with his father because I wanted to. I wanted to take him with me, but his son is the only family he has.

It's been a while since I've written here, and it isn't because I haven't wanted to. This time of the year is the busiest. I'm glad it is slowing down. It'll be over after New Year's Eve. Well, more like after the second week of January.

My birthday, followed by my son's birthday two days after mine. I'm glad that there is one day in between. If I need it to recuperate, I have it. Not that I get really drunk anymore. I always get hangovers and I hate them. The number one enemy.

I gave his mother the blanket I was making her. She really liked it and she said it means more to her to know that I made it for her. She was curious about it and wanted to see it, but I had it hidden until Christmas morning. It was the first gift she opened.

Rob got me a new camera for Christmas, which is something dear to me. I dropped and broke my old one. It slipped right out of my hand and landed on the floor. He took it apart and found out what was wrong with it, but the part I needed to fix it cost about as much as a new one would. The new one is nice, I really like it.

We're going to have dinner later on, with my son, and my Grandmother. She's sad as usual around Christmas. It is understandable. She lost a father, brother, and husband all different years, but around Christmas time. She's afraid of losing her sister. My great-aunt was in the hospital. They could not find anything wrong with her, yet when they discharged her from the hospital she was coughing blood. She has internal bleeding. They let her go home for Christmas. Maybe they think it will be her last. When she went into the hospital she had almost bled to death.

The court decided that the guy won't be held criminally responsible due to mental illness. He claims that his ex-girlfriend was involved in a plot to have him killed. Maybe it's paranoid schizophrenia or something. I don't really 'get' the mental illness defense. Where are they going to put him? In the R.O.H? He would get day passes and maybe come for me next? I think about that sometimes, scared that I might get onto an elevator with him on it, that he'd hold a knife to my throat.

It's been crazy, but I just want to be calm and just relax. I have so much work to do and I want to put it off. I don't want to do much of anything until Jan. 1rst. But I know that's still days away and I can't put things off until then, even though every part of my being tells me to do so. I took a bunch of pictures and there were a few that turned out well. I'll upload them here, probably later tonight.