Usually When...

It's usually when SOMEONE ELSE
TREATS THEM
THE EXACT SAME WAY
THAT THEY TREATED ME...

THAT THEY EVEN....
START TO....
"UNDERSTAND"
WHAT THAT SH*T....
WAS LIKE....
FOR ME.

This ties into the last posts....
Because only RACISTS WOULD UNDERSTAND RACISM
IF THEY WERE BEING TREATED
THE EXACT SAME WAY
THEY TREATED SOMEONE ELSE.

IF WHITE KIDS WERE B*ATEN TO D*ATH
FOR JUST BEING WHITE.

THEY WOULD UNDERSTAND IT THEN.
THEY WOULD SEE THAT AS "UNJUST."

If white people were getting l*nched.
FOR JUST BEING WHITE....

THEY MIGHT UNDERSTAND IT THEN.
RIGHT?

IF PEOPLE...... GET TREATED.....
THE WAY THEY TREATED ME.....
BY SOMEONE THEY THOUGHT
WAS LOYAL TO THEM.....

LIKE I THOUGHT THEY WERE LOYAL TO ME....
THEN.... THEY *MIGHT* GET IT.

IF THEY DO OR NOT... 
IS NONE OF MY CONCERN.

Would it have been COOL had they gotten it?
WHEN I WAS RIGHT THERE?

SURE.

But why should I have to wait 12 years...?

Why should I have to wait for someone
TO TREAT THEM THE WAY THEY TREATED ME????

FOR THEM TO THINK:
"THIS IS HOW A*** FELT WHEN I DID THAT TO HER."

When I treated her like I thought she was "stupid."
OR NOT WORTHY OF DECENCY.
OR HONESTY....

OR BASIC RESPECT.

OR WASN'T "GOOD ENOUGH" FOR ME.

WASN'T "HOT ENOUGH" FOR ME.
WASN'T "RICH ENOUGH" FOR ME.

OR WASN'T WHATEVER TF I VALUED
MORE THAN JUST....

HAVING HER IN MY LIFE...
AS A PERSON.

WHO ONCE CARED.

WHO ONCE TRIED.

CARED "ENOUGH" TO TRY.
EVEN THAT.

If ALL I wanted was superficial sh*t......
I'd be chasing superficial sh*t!!!!!!!!!!!!

Because that superficial sh*t
would "matter" to me.

It doesn't.

So why chase it?
Why want it?

IF IT DOESN'T MATTER, IT DOESN'T!

People try to justify things about me....
Like assumptions...

They can do that if they want to....

But they have to realize that their assumptions
ABOUT ME....

ARE ASSUMPTIONS.

THEY COULD JUST?????? ASK!
IF THEY WANT TO KNOW SOMETHING.....

INSTEAD OF THINKING THAT THEY DO!

And what can I even DO about... 
THEM THINKING THEY KNOW SOMETHING?

WRITE? 
WRITE THE ACTUAL FACTS?

AND MAYBE.... IF THEY READ IT.....
THEY MIGHT THINK.

THAT IS ABOUT ALL THAT I CAN DO.

I CAN GIVE PEOPLE WHO DO THINK....
THINGS TO THINK ABOUT... 

THINGS THAT I THINK ABOUT... 

BUT??? WHAT ELSE?
LITTLE TO NOTHING?

SPIN MY WHEELS?
GRIND MY OWN GEARS?

WISH? HOPE?

That they might SEE something I was pointing at?

OR TALKING ABOUT?
WHEN THEY DIDN'T WANT TO LISTEN?
OR CARE ENOUGH TO HEAR ME?
THE FIRST TIME I WAS SAYING IT?

So then??? I put it in WRITING.

WRITING HASN'T FAILED ME.
IN THE WAYS MANY PEOPLE HAVE.

WAS IT DISAPPOINTING? YEAH?
AGGRAVATING? YEAH?

NOT JUST THAT, THOUGH.
DISHEARTENING, AT TIMES!

TO BE FAILED BY PEOPLE... 
WHO DIDN'T HAVE ANY REAL REASONS TO!

BUT... THEY FAIL THEMSELVES.
SO WHY WOULDN'T THEY FAIL ME?

Did I fail myself? Yeah, I did.
I know what it's like to sabotage myself. 

I had to learn what it took to support myself
IN MANY WAYS.

MENTALLY, EMOTIONALLY...
THOSE ARE IMPORTANT.

In my 20s... I thought the way that I thought.
About the things that I thought about.

Most of it is actually on here.
All the things I lamented about.

The ruts I was stuck in....
Were mostly... Caused by.....
And fueled by... My mentality.

Even certain ruts I've been in.... Also.
Lately... 

Not that my current mentality is "stellar"
OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT...

But... Maybe... It's a bit better....
Than it used to be.

Regarding some things, especially.

Because if I had the mentality I used to have.....
I'd still be thinking about the same things
in the exact same ways.

And getting the exact same "results," if any.

Have I gotten "some" results? Yeah.
The ones I wanted? Not exactly.

One of my friends... 
He was saying... 
"Apparently what I want is too much to ask for."

In general, he doesn't want anything from me.

So I told him that wanting what we want is one thing, 
BUT WE HAVE TO BE CAREFUL WHAT WE WISH FOR.

There was a kids' show I used to watch as a kid.... 

Doesn't matter what it is called. I remember, but it doesn't matter.

The plot of the show was about a group of kids in a "club"
Took turns telling each other "stories" around a "campfire."

The "stories" were the episodes.

You might know what show I'm talking about... 
Just based on that... 

And around the time I was a kid...
What shows were "popular" on TV for kids... 

Anyway... 

One of the episodes... The story....
Some kids got a "monkey's paw" or something
that was supposed to grant them wishes...

But each wish that they wished for.....
There was "something" wrong with it.

Like they'd get the wish, but not the way they wanted.

When I was dating... It wasn't.... What I had wished for.

Whatever it was... That made me want to date...
Wasn't something I could "fulfill" by dating.

When I realized that.... Dating... Didn't seem "important"
as it once seemed to me, years ago.

And if I couldn't "fulfill" that by dating...
MAYBE IT WASN'T DATING THAT EVER WOULD.

DATING... WAS... A LOT OF REJECTION....
A LOT OF WASTED TIME...
EFFORT...

Did I learn some things? From those experiences?
YES, I DID.

MOSTLY, ABOUT MYSELF.
AND THOSE THINGS... I'M GLAD I LEARNED.

MAYBE I MIGHT NOT HAVE LEARNED THOSE THINGS
IN OTHER WAYS
OTHER THAN THE WAYS THAT I LEARNED THEM.

MAYBE, MAYBE NOT.
RIGHT?

The point was... I had to learn somehow.
It was either I was going to learn, or I wasn't. 

It was either I wanted to, or I didn't. 

Maybe I didn't want to learn in the ways that I did.... 
Fine... Maybe that... 

ESPECIALLY THE WAYS THAT WEREN'T
FUN OR NICE, OR COOL....

BUT? CERTAIN THINGS... 

Maybe I'm "better off" for having learned.
DESPITE ANY WAY THAT I LEARNED THEM.

EVEN THE WAYS THAT WERE NOT FUN...
OR NICE, OR COOL.

And... Writing about those things....
ISN'T HURTING ANYONE.

ESPECIALLY IF SOMEONE CAN LEARN SOMETHING
FROM THE THINGS THAT I LEARNED.

WITHOUT HAVING TO LEARN THOSE THINGS....
IN THE WAYS THAT I DID.

BECAUSE IT WASN'T FUN OR NICE....
OR COOL.

About dating... IN GENERAL... 
NOT JUST ABOUT THE OPPOSITE S*X.

ABOUT MYSELF AND WHERE I WAS AT...
MENTALLY, EMOTIONALLY....

HONESTLY.

But to say.... Things like....
Certain cultures.... Prioritize....
Certain things...

COULD BE CONSIDERED "RACIST."

BECAUSE THE CULTURE.... 
IS USUALLY TIED TO THE "RACE"
OF THAT CULTURE.

WHEN THE ISSUE IS....
THE THINGS THAT THE CULTURE
PRIORITIZES
AND WHY.

NOT ABOUT "RACE"
OR "NATIONALITY."

IT'S ABOUT....
THE PRIORITIZATION.....
OF CERTAIN THINGS....
AND WHY.

BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT I SEE.

I SEE "PEOPLE"
"PRIORITIZING"
CERTAIN THINGS....

WHEN THEY COULD BE....

PRIORITIZING....
CERTAIN OTHER THINGS.

DOES PRIORITIZATION
HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH "RACE"
OR "NATIONALITY"?

OR DOES IT HAVE TO DO WITH....
THE MENTALITY
AND "REASONING"
BEHIND "PRIORITIZING" IT?

EVEN IF WHITE PEOPLE
ARE PRIORITIZING BEING FKTARDS.... 

THAT!!!!! THAT!!!!! 
IS WHAT THEY ARE PRIORITIZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DO THEY HAVE TO PRIORITIZE THAT?
OR???? COULD THEY.....
PRIORITIZE DOING THE RIGHT THINGS
FOR THE RIGHT REASONS??????

DO WE HAVE TO BE A SPECIFIC "RACE"
TO DO THAT?

OR COULD WE..... AS A HUMAN RACE....
JUST DO THAT?

DO WE NEED TO BE TAUGHT....
BY SOME INTERGALACTIC "RACE"
HOW TO BE BETTER AS HUMANS?

MAYBE THEY DON'T WANT TO WASTE THEIR TIME
TRYING TO TEACH US THINGS
THAT SHOULDN'T BE HARD
TO UNDERSTAND.

WOULD YOU?
PROBABLY NOT.

I'm not writing about these things to teach anything to anyone.
I'M NOT A TEACHER.
I'M NOT A PREACHER.

I'M A FKN "NOBODY."
RANDOM PERSON ON THE INTERNET.

JUST A WRITER, IF EVEN THAT. 

Even so.... It's not about ME saying it.
It's about SAYING IT.

IF IT NEEDS TO BE SAID.
AND "UNDERSTOOD."

But sometimes WORDS aren't "enough"
TO CONVEY CERTAIN THINGS....

THAT NEED TO BE "CONVEYED."

Still trying to figure out....
What would be "enough."

To convey those things... 

Because certain points could be made....
That probably should be made.

So that certain things could be understood....

If that.

"The Point Of Life" Part 2

Maybe this post will even get a PART 3...

Anyway... As I was saying in PART 1...

If someone (anyone)....
IS TOO BUSY BEING SUPERFICIAL.....
THEY ARE "TOO BUSY BEING SUPERFICIAL"
TO KNOW CERTAIN THINGS.

And let me put it this way..... 
CAN YOU MAKE DECISIONS ON THINGS
THAT YOU DON'T KNOW?

YES OR NO?

IF YOU TRY TO....
WHAT DECISIONS ARE THOSE GOING TO BE?

SUPERFICIAL?
GOOD DECISIONS?????
IMPORTANT ONES????

One thing that happened recently....
As an EXAMPLE....

I met someone through a group
THAT ISN'T MEANT FOR "DATING."

IT'S FOR MEETING PEOPLE. LOCALLY.

BUT A LOT OF PEOPLE
SEEM TO STILL....
TRY TO USE IT....
BECAUSE THEY WANT TO "DATE."

IT ISN'T FOR THAT.

IF THEY WANT TO DATE, 
THERE ARE PLENTY OF DATING SITES!

SO... I WAS TALKING TO A MALE.
HE TOLD ME TODAY....
THAT HE DOESN'T THINK THAT WE ARE
LOOKING FOR THE SAME THINGS.

BECAUSE HE WANTS TO DATE.

1) HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW ME AS A PERSON YET!

WHAT IF WE AREN'T CAPATIBLE TO DATE EACH OTHER?

HOW WOULD HE KNOW THAT?

IF WE DON'T KNOW EACH OTHER?

WANTING TO DATE....
DOESN'T MEAN THAT YOU CAN TALK TO SOMEONE
FOR 1 NIGHT
AND CONSIDER DATING THEM.

YOU COULD, BUT.....
DO YOU KNOW IF YOU ARE COMPATIBLE 
BASED ON ONE 1 CONVERSATION?

COMPATIBLE AS PEOPLE, EVEN AS FRIENDS?

BUT PEOPLE LOOK AT ME LIKE:
SHE'S SINGLE! AND I WANT TO DATE!

1) NOT ALL SINGLE PEOPLE WANT TO DATE
2) AND WANTING TO DATE DOESN'T MEAN COMPATIBILITY.

#2 I HAD TO LEARN THE HARD WAY.
I EARNED THAT.

I'M GIVING IT TO YOU....
SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO LEARN IT...
THE WAY THAT I DID.

IT WASN'T FUN TO LEARN IT
THE WAY THAT I LEARNED IT.

Only compatibility means COMPATIBILITY.
AND IF YOU ARE "TOO BUSY WANTING TO DATE"
TO KNOW CERTAIN THINGS....

AS AN EXAMPLE....
YOU WILL NOT SEE CERTAIN THINGS...
THAT AFFECT.... COMPATIBILITY.

Wanting to date... Is one thing....
BUT WHY CONSIDER DATING SOMEONE
YOU DON'T KNOW??????!!!!!

I've dated a few I DIDN'T KNOW WELL ENOUGH
TO KNOW THAT WE WEREN'T COMPATIBLE!!!!!!!!!

BECAUSE???? I WANTED TO DATE!

That is an example. 

Another example....
IF SOMEONE IS "TOO BUSY WANTING TO BE RIGHT"
THEY WON'T SEE CERTAIN THINGS.

WANTING TO BE RIGHT....
DOESN'T MEAN THAT THEY ARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THEY WON'T EVEN SEE THAT THEY AREN'T LISTENING!
AND THAT THEY DON'T WANT TO LISTEN!

AND IF THEY DON'T..... HOW WOULD THEY KNOW?????
WHAT COULD THEY KNOW....
IF THEY DID????

MORE THAN IF THEY DON'T?????

MAYBE!

MAYBE THEY'LL HAVE SOMETHING TO....
THINK ABOUT.....
IF THEY DID????

BUT????? "TOO BUSY WANTING TO BE RIGHT"
MEANS THEY THINK THEY ARE RIGHT
BECAUSE THEY WANT TO BE RIGHT.

SO MUCH THAT THEY THINK THEY ARE!!!!!!!!!!

THINKING THEY ARE....
IS NOT THE SAME AS....
ACTUALLY BEING RIGHT.

ABOUT ANYTHING OR ANYONE.
EVEN ABOUT THEMSELVES!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DID I THINK I WAS GOING TO STAY SOBER FOR 12 YEARS?
WHEN I FIRST QUIT DRINKING?

PROBABLY NOT!

BUT IF I DIDN'T THINK SO.....
I WAS EITHER GOING TO BE RIGHT.... OR WRONG.

...... IT APPLIES TO POLITICS IN ALL FORMS TOO.

NOT JUST GOVERNMENT POLITICS.

SOCIAL POLITICS, TOO.

THINKING THEY ARE "RIGHT"
ISN'T THE SAME AS BEING RIGHT.

THAT'S WHY OPINIONS.........
ARE JUST FKN OPINIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NOT FACTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THAT'S WHY ASSUMPTIONS.....
ARE JUST FKN ASSUMPTIONS!!!!!!!!!!!

NOT FACTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WE CAN EVEN GET "FACTS" WRONG.
RIGHT?

BECAUSE CONFLICTING FACTS....
CAN'T BOTH BE TRUE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ONLY ONE CAN!

ONLY WHAT IS ACTUALLY TRUE.....
CAN BE ACTUALLY TRUE!

AND IF SOMEONE WANTS TO "HATE" ME
BECAUSE OF SOMETHING THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW
IF IT'S TRUE OR NOT....

WHAT WOULD IT MATTER?
WHAT WOULD ANYTHING I HAD TO SAY MATTER?
OR THOUGHT?
OR KNEW TO BE TRUE?

WOULD ONLY MATTER TO ME!
NOT TO THEM!

It does kind of bother me... 
TO EXPLAIN THESE THINGS....

BUT IF I DON'T????????
THEN WHAT?

Maybe I might want to date again, one day.....
BUT IF I DON'T RIGHT NOW.....
THAT MEANS I DON'T RIGHT NOW.

IS ANYONE TAKING THE TIME TO GET TO KNOW ME?
TO SEE IF WE MIGHT BE COMPATIBLE....

BECAUSE COMPATIBILITY MATTERS MORE
THAN SUPERFICIAL SH*T LIKE "ATTRACTION."

I saw a show.... It's not in Canada. I saw it online.
It's called "Naked Attraction."

THEY SEE EACH OTHER NUDE....
TO DECIDE AS A FACTOR....
IF THEY WANT TO DATE EACH OTHER.

IT IS A DATING SHOW.

COMPLETE OPPOSITE....
OF.... ANOTHER SHOW I SAW.....

CALLED "DATING IN THE DARK."
PEOPLE ON THAT SHOW.....
HAD "DATED" IN A DARK ROOM.
THEY COULD NOT SEE EACH OTHER.

THEY CONNECTED.... AS PEOPLE.
IF THEY DID, AT ALL.

AT THE END OF THE SHOW....
THEY GOT TO SEE EACH OTHER....

AND GOT TO THEN CHOOSE....
IF THEY STILL CHOSE EACH OTHER.

"PHYSICAL ATTRACTION"
ISN'T MUCH MORE THAN A "FACTOR."

THAT'S ABOUT IT.

AREN'T THERE OTHER FACTORS?
YES.

SO IF YOU BASE IT ON ONE FACTOR....
YOU MIGHT NOT SEE OTHER FACTORS.

OTHER FACTORS THAT MATTER MORE.

LIKE..... COMPATIBILITY.

When I think about compatibility....
I sometimes think about batteries.

"ARE THESE THE RIGHT BATTERIES
FOR THIS DEVICE?"

BECAUSE SOMETHING THAT TAKES
TRIPLE A BATTERIES....

DOESN'T TAKE DOUBLE-A BATTERIES.
OR C BATTERIES, OR D BATTERIES.

ONLY....????? TRIPLE A BATTERIES!

It's like that. In real life.

SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE TRIPLE A BATTERIES.
SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE DOUBLE-A BATTERIES.

SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE C BATTERIES.
SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE D BATTERIES.

IF THEY DON'T FIT, THEY DON'T FIT
AND THE DEVICE WON'T WORK.
WITHOUT THE RIGHT BATTERIES.

THE BATTERIES THAT FIT THAT DEVICE.

Same goes for HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS.
EVEN HEALTHY FRIENDSHIPS.

EVEN HEALTHY ASSOCIATIONS!!!!!!!!

Another thing about "the fancy bag" analogy I used....
In Part 1...

When I was in college... 
There was a girl in my class...
Who came to school with a new purse.

IT WAS A FANCY PURSE.

IT COST.... AT THAT TIME... $800.

MEANWHILE.... I WAS PAYING $800
FOR RENT.

I WOULD RATHER PAY RENT
THAN BUY A FANCY PURSE.

AND THAT IS MY PREROGATIVE TOO.

THIS WAS 20 YEARS AGO....
22 YEARS AGO, ACTUALLY.

A PURSE LIKE THAT WOULD PROBABLY
COST EVEN MORE TODAY.
THAN IT DID 22 YEARS AGO.

NOT THE POINT, BUT IT WOULD.

THE POINT IS THAT SOME PEOPLE THINK....
THAT HAVING XYZ.....
WILL GET THEM ADMIRATION....
JUST FOR HAVING XYZ.

THAT IS THE POINT.

AND IF SOMEONE DOESN'T ADMIRE THEM
FOR JUST HAVING XYZ....

THEY FEEL JUDGED.
BY THE PERSON WHO DOESN'T ADMIRE THEM
FOR JUST HAVING XYZ.

AND BECAUSE THEY FEEL JUDGED....
FOR NOT BEING ADMIRED....
FOR JUST HAVING XYZ.....

THEY JUDGE THE PERSON
THEY FEEL JUDGED BY.

EVEN IF THE PERSON WHO DOESN'T ADMIRE THEM
JUST FOR HAVING XYZ....

ISN'T JUDGING THEM FOR HAVING XYZ.

MAYBE THAT PERSON MIGHT JUDGE THEM
FOR JUDGING THEM....
FOR FEELING JUDGED WHEN THEY AREN'T JUDGING....

MAYBE THAT, IF THAT....

BUT NOT JUDGING THEM
FOR HAVING (OR NOT HAVING) XYZ.

BECAUSE JUST HAVING XYZ.....
DOESN'T MATTER TO THAT PERSON.

JUST THAT.

BECAUSE THAT PERSON....
IS CONTENT WITH HAVING
WHAT THEY DO HAVE....
AND ISN'T CHASING SUPERFICIAL THINGS.

ARE THEY JUDGING PEOPLE WHO DO?
NO?

JUST BEING CONTENT WITH WHAT THEY HAVE?
YEAH?

SHOULD THEY BE ALLOWED TO?
TO JUST BE CONTENT?

WITH WHAT THEY HAVE?
AND BE CONTENT WITHOUT CHASING ANYTHING?

EVEN "ADMIRATION"
OR WHATEVER IT SEEMS
THAT SOME OTHER PEOPLE WANT?

WHY SHOULD THEY PUT SOMETHING THEY WANT
ABOVE THINGS THAT ARE ACTUALLY MORE IMPORTANT?

SHOULD THEY DO THAT?

BECAUSE IF THEY DO....
THEY MISS THE PLOT.

Whether they want:
TO DATE
TO BE RIGHT
TO BE ADMIRED FOR WHAT THEY HAVE
TO HAVE APPROVAL THEY DON'T ACTUALLY NEED
FROM THE PEOPLE THEY DON'T NEED IT FROM....

WE CAN WANT ALL KINDS OF THINGS!!!!!!!!!

MATERIAL THINGS....
SUPERFICIAL THINGS....

THINGS THAT "LOOK GOOD FROM THE OUTSIDE."

WAS IT A "PRETTY" $800 PURSE? SURE.

BUT????? RENT PAID ON TIME IS IMPORTANT.
HAVING A PLACE TO LIVE IS IMPORTANT.
STABILITY IS IMPORTANT.

MORE IMPORTANT THAN AN $800 PURSE.
THAT IS THE POINT.

I CAN GO TO THE STORE....
BUY $2O OF YARN...
AND MAKE MYSELF A PURSE IF I WANTED A PURSE.

AND I CAN BE HAPPY WITH THE PURSE I MADE.

AN $800 PURSE DOESN'T = HAPPINESS.
ALL IT IS... IS AN $800 PURSE.
THAT IS ALL THAT IT IS.

Another example... 

Since dudes don't typically buy purses....
A LOT OF DUDES LIKE SPORTS CARS.

A LAMBO.... IS A LAMBO.
A PURSE... IS A PURSE.

THE THINGS.... ARE JUST THINGS.

A LOT OF PEOPLE THINK:
"THIS IS EXPENSIVE.... THEREFORE I MUST VALUE IT MORE."

MORE THAN WHAT????????????
SOMETHING NOT AS "EXPENSIVE"?

MORE THAN THINGS THAT ARE ACTUALLY IMPORTANT
AND HAVE ANOTHER TYPE OF VALUE?

When some think they are choosing something BETTER...
THEY MIGHT NOT REALIZE
WHAT THEY ARE GIVING UP
TO CHOOSE IT.

LIKE HOW 12-YEAR DISCARD.....
THOUGHT HE COULD DISCARD ME....
AND TRY TO "COME BACK"
INTO MY LIFE....
AS THOUGH HE DIDN'T DO THAT.

AND IF SOMEONE ACTS AS THOUGH
IT IS A GAME....
AND I'D BE "WAITING..."

NOPE.

BECAUSE? I DO NOT HAVE TO........
GIVE CHANCES.... LIKE CANDIES.

CHANCES.... ARE CHANCES.
NOT CANDIES.

WAS I GIVEN A CHANCE? NO?
THEN? DO I NEED TO GIVE MORE CHANCES?

TO SOMEONE WHO DIDN'T WANT TO GIVE ME ONE?

AND I'M NOT THE SAME PERSON AS I USED TO BE?

AND IF THEY NEVER KNEW ME ANYWAY?
THEY DON'T KNOW ME NOW, EITHER.

YOU CAN'T "MAKE ME WAIT"
UNTIL YOU "WANT TO BE SERIOUS."

IF THEY WANT TO WALK AWAY, THEY CAN.
IF THEY THINK THEY CAN DO "BETTER", OKAY.
GO FIND IT OUT THERE.

NOT THAT I THINK I'M "BETTER."
I DON'T HAVE TO THINK I'M "BETTER"
TO APPRECIATE THINGS ABOUT MYSELF
THAT APPARENTLY MANY CAN'T SEE.

IS IT OKAY THAT THEY CAN'T? SURE!
IT MATTERS.... THAT I APPRECIATE...
SOME THINGS....
ABOUT MYSELF.

AND I CAN WAIT.
TO BUILD WITH SOMEONE....
WHO SEES ME....
WHEN I'M RIGHT THERE.

NOT AFTER THEY CHOSE SOMETHING
THEY THOUGHT WAS "BETTER."

WOULD HAVE BEEN A WASTE OF MY TIME. RIGHT?

SO THEN?
INSTEAD OF WASTING MY TIME....

I COULD.... WAIT.

DO I HAVE TO GAF HOW LONG IT TAKES?

I USED TO!!!!!!!!!!

BECAUSE WHAT I WANTED..... I REALLY WANTED THAT.
I WANTED IT "NOW" 
AND DIDN'T WANT TO WAIT FOR THAT.

SOMETIMES WE MEET PEOPLE....
JUST TO CHOOSE OURSELVES.

SHOULD I HAVE TO "CHASE" LOVE?
TO BE LOVED?

When LOVE was already IN ME....
TO JUST GIVE TO MYSELF?

THE WHOLE TIME?

THAT'S WHY I CAN WAIT.

BECAUSE WHAT I ONCE WANTED....
SHOULDN'T MATTER MORE
THAN JUST THE BASIC THINGS
IN LIFE.

So long as I'm being HONEST....

I WASTED MANY YEARS....
JUST BEING THE WAY THAT I WAS.
I WAS BEING THE WAY THAT I WAS...
MOSTLY BECAUSE I THOUGHT....
THE WAY I THOUGHT.

HMMM. SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT.

"The Point Of Life"

I don't write a lot about my son on here.
Mostly for "privacy's sake."

But I have to share this story about something he asked me...
When he was 7 years old...

"Mom, what's the point of life if everyone's going to die?"
IT WAS A REAL QUESTION.

So I told him:
"To help people if we can, and to be happy."

Now, he's 23 years old.
I brought it up to him this year.
He asked me that.

I said, "You were having an existential crisis."

He said, "Yeah, I still have those sometimes."

I said, "I do, too."

I'm bringing it up... Because... I had a conversation
with someone who was really struggling today.

I'm in a group where people can make a post
IF THEY NEED SOMEONE TO TALK TO.

The guy said he was really struggling and that he was alone.

So I reached out to him to offer some "support."

His dog got attacked. He couldn't get her to the vet in time.
She passed away.

I felt it was important to tell him that it's okay to feel how he feels.
I wanted him to know that it is okay so that he would allow it.
Allow himself to just feel how he feels.

It's okay to feel sad and to cry. To just feel all of it.
It's okay if he feels many things at once.

But it does take a lot of energy, just to feel it.

He started feeling a bit better.

I told him about that question my son asked me.
And what I told him. 

He told me he had contemplated su*c*de.
Been there. So I told him that I tried 6 times in my lifetime.

But if I had, my son wouldn't be here.

Things weren't always how they are now.

THERE WERE TIMES I DIDN'T THINK
I'D EVER SEE HIM AGAIN.

THAT WAS PAINFUL AF.

It was like having to grieve him while he was still alive.

THAT WAS HARD.

I HAD TO "LET HIM GO"
AND IF I DID GET TO (I DID) SEE HIM AGAIN, 
THEN, I WOULD.

BUT I HAD TO... TRY.... TO.... TAKE CARE...
OF MYSELF. 

SO THAT... IF I DID...
I WOULDN'T BE AS MUCH OF A MESS....
AS I WAS!!!!

Anyway... There was another part...

I was telling him about my friend who told me about
THE MEANING OF REPENTANCE.

IT IS DEFINED AS:
"Reviewing past wrongdoings,
feeling sincere sorrow or regret,
and committing to a full change of character, direction, or behavior."

My friend told me about the pent part in repentance.
He reminded me that the word for "to think" is "penser."

Reviewing is about thinking, rethinking our ways.
How we think. 

Because how we think influences our ways.

Repentance actually comes from a Latin word.

That word is: Poenitire. 
"To make sorry."

We aren't "made" sorry by anyone, truly. 
It actually has to come from us.

Because WE are only SORRY if we actually are.

We are taught to be sorry, to a point.

Like when we are being parented by our parents...
We are taught the things WE SHOULD BE SORRY ABOUT.

AND TO APOLOGIZE.
AND TO MEAN IT WHEN WE DO.

Ideally, we are taught that from our parents.

BUT SOME PEOPLE'S PARENTS ACTUALLY DON'T CARE
ENOUGH TO TEACH CERTAIN THINGS.

THEY THINK THEIR KIDS WILL LEARN ON THEIR OWN. 

OR WHATEVER GOES ON IN THEIR HEADS.

I was taught things by my grandparents.

THEIR TIMES WERE DIFFERENT TIMES.
WHEN PARENTS WERE SUPPOSED TO CARE.

THEY ALWAYS WERE SUPPOSED TO....
BUT IN THEIR TIMES, THAT WAS UNDERSTOOD.

UNDERSTOOD FOR A REASON.

In the 1930s, the 1940s, 1950s.... 

CERTAIN VALUES EXISTED. 

In the 1960s... Some things changed.
In the 1970s, 1980s... 

So... A lot of people FROM MY GENERATION....
LOST THE PLOT!!!!!!!!! LOST IT!

BECAUSE THEIR PARENTS DID, MOSTLY.

AND IF THEIR PARENTS' PARENTS DID....
THAT WOULD HAVE SOMETHING TO DO WITH
WHY THEIR PARENTS DID.

AND WHY MY GENERATION
AND GENERATIONS AFTER MINE DID.

MY GENERATION...... THERE ARE MANY....
WHO NEVER LOST THE PLOT......
BUT.... I THINK..... THAT IT WAS.....
THAT IF THEIR PARENTS DID.....
PEOPLE FROM MY GENERATION DID.

AND THAT.... IT STARTED... THERE.

Why did it start? I don't know.

THAT HAS A LOT TO DO WITH IT.
IT'S NOT THE ENTIRETY OF IT...
BUT IT HAS A LOT TO DO WITH IT.

Certain VALUES should be preserved.
IN CANADIAN CULTURE.

A lot of people who COME TO CANADA....
DON'T HAVE THE SAME VALUES.

AND DON'T SEEM TO THINK
THAT OUR VALUES SHOULD MATTER.
OR THAT OUR LAWS SHOULD APPLY TO THEM
THE SAME WAYS THEY APPLY
TO EVERYONE ELSE HERE.

THEY DO!

Some things that bother me....

IS HOW SOME POLICE THINK
THAT CERTAIN LAWS DO NOT APPLY TO THEM.

THEY DO!

SAME WITH ANYONE.
EVEN IMMIGRANTS.

(NO MATTER WHAT THEIR RACE
OR NATIONALITY IS).

GANG MEMBERS FROM OTHER COUNTRIES?
DEPORT THEM.

T*RR*R*STS????
DEPORT THEM.

PEOPLE WHO DON'T GAF ABOUT CANADA???
DEPORT THEM.

DO I CARE IF THEY ARE FROM A CERTAIN
"NATIONALITY"
OR "RACE"?

FK NO!!!!!!!!

WOULD I EXPECT THAT ANYONE
FROM ANY COUNTRY I GO TO
WOULD WANT ME DEPORTED
IF I DIDN'T GAF ABOUT THEIR COUNTRY?

WAS SMUGGLING DR*GS INTO THEIR COUNTRY?
WAS BEING A CRIMINAL IN THEIR COUNTRY?

I SHOULD PROBABLY EXPECT THAT!!!!!!!

BECAUSE THEY DO GAF ABOUT THEIR COUNTRY!!!!!
BECAUSE THEY HAVE TO LIVE THERE!!!!!

AND THEY DON'T WANT THAT SH*T
AROUND THEM.....
LET ALONE FOR THE FUTURE GENERATIONS!!!!!!!

THE FACT THAT THEY TRY TO MAKE THAT
ABOUT RACISM....

P*SSES ME OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT DOES!

"RACISM" SHOULDN'T BE AN "EXCUSE"
TO FKN ACT LIKE THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ESPECIALLY WHEN IT HAS NOTHING TO FKN DO WITH IT!!!!!!!!!!!

IT'S A FKN PERSONAL CHOICE!!!!!!!!!
TO ACT LIKE THAT OR??????
OR NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

REGARDLESS OF WHAT "RACE" YOU ARE.
REGARDLESS WHAT COUNTRY YOU CAME FROM!!!!!
OR GO TO!!!!!!

AND IF YOU ARE LUCKY ENOUGH
TO BE IN ANOTHER COUNTRY.....

RESPECT THAT YOU ARE LUCKY ENOUGH
TO BE THERE AT ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AND RESPECT THE PEOPLE THERE!

RESPECT THE LAWS THAT EXIST
AND THE REASONS THEY EXIST!

JUST THAT.

BECAUSE NOBODY IS "BETTER"
THAN ANYONE ELSE.

WE ALL HAVE TO LIVE ON THIS PLANET!!!!!!!!!!!!
REGARDLESS OF THE BS "RACE CARD."
OR WHERE YOU ARE "FROM"
OR WHERE YOU "GO"
OR FKN ANYTHING ELSE!!!!!!!!!!!

So what????? I'm white. BIG FKN DEAL!
IF I WAS BORN IN ANOTHER COUNTRY....
AND MY ANCESTORS WERE OF ANOTHER RACE.....

I WOULD HAVE BEEN BORN AS SOMEONE ELSE!!!!!!!!!!!

ONLY CIRCUMSTANCES "MADE ME" WHITE.
THAT'S ALL!

ARE THERE POS WHITE PEOPLE???? FK YES!!!!!!

DO I GET TO DECIDE WHAT KIND OF "WHITE PERSON"
I AM? OR BECOME?

YES!!!!!! I GET TO DECIDE THAT!!!!!!!!

SO DOES EVERY "WHITE PERSON."
SAME FOR ANY "RACE." 
EVERY "RACE."

WHAT HAPPENED TO THE "HUMAN RACE"?????

SHOULDN'T THAT "RACE" MATTER MORE???????
THAN ANY OTHERS???????

I THINK SO!!!!!!!!!!!!

BUT.......??????

THE DIVISION.... 
IS TO WHAT???? WHAT PURPOSE DOES IT HAVE?

TO PIT US AGAINST EACH OTHER????????
BASED ON SUPERFICIAL SH*T???????????

WHAT KIND OF BS IS THAT??????????
ISN'T THAT BS??????

RACISM IS TAUGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WE ARE NOT BORN RACIST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DO BABIES LOOK AT SOMEONE AND SEE THEIR "RACE"?????
OR DO THEY SEE A PERSON?

DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT I'M SAYING?

I'm only asking because....
It seems that.....
Most people only seem to.....
Look only at....

5% AT BEST.....
OF WHAT I SAY.....

AND THEY MAKE UP THE REST.

PEOPLE "LOOK AT ME"
"DIFFERENTLY"
FOR BEING "DIFFERENT."

THERE WAS AN EXAMPLE I GOT FROM SOMEONE...

I'LL TRY TO REFRAME IT, BUT IT IS A GOOD EXAMPLE.

IT IS ABOUT: APPROVAL & ADMIRATION.

THE EXAMPLE IS THE PERSON
WHO IS HAPPY WITH "THE GROCERY STORE BAG"

WHILE SOMEONE ELSE BUYS THE "FANCY BAG."
BECAUSE IT COSTS MORE....
AND THEY WANT TO BE "ADMIRED" FOR HAVING IT.
JUST FOR HAVING IT.

AND THEY MIGHT TRY TO SELL THE "FANCY BAG"
BUT THE PEOPLE WHO BUY THE SECONDHAND BAG
HAVE TO HAVE THE MONEY TO BUY IT...
"WHY WOULD THEY WANT A SECONDHAND BAG?"
IF THEY HAVE THE MONEY TO BUY A "NEW FANCY BAG."

IT'S LIKE THAT... BUT REPLACE "FANCY BAG"
WITH OTHER SUPERFICIAL THINGS.

THE "FANCY BAG" IS AN XYZ.... 
PLACE WHATEVER YOU WANT AS AN XYZ.
XYZ IS A VARIABLE.

THAT CAN GO FOR VALUES, TOO. 
REALIZATIONS, TOO. 

OTHER THINGS THAT AREN'T "SUPERFICIAL."
OR... ARTIFICIAL.

SPECIAL... YEAH....
BUT NOT ON A LEVEL THAT MOST UNDERSTAND.

BECAUSE WHAT THEY THINK IS "SPECIAL"
ARE SUPERFICIAL THINGS!!!!!!!!

SO HOW WOULD THEY UNDERSTAND
THE THINGS THAT ACTUALLY ARE SPECIAL
AND WHY THEY ARE????

THEY WOULDN'T.

UNLESS THEY DO, THEY CAN'T KNOW.
AND WON'T.

BUT MOST PEOPLE OPERATE.....
ON THEIR PROGRAMMING.

IF THEY WERE PROGRAMMED
TO REGARD SUPERFICIALITY
AS SOMETHING "IMPORTANT"

THEY WILL OPERATE....
AS THOUGH IT IS IMPORTANT!

It isn't.... But... They will operate as though it is!

AND THEY WILL LIKELY BE OPPORTUNISTIC
IN THE WORST WAYS POSSIBLE!

YET THEY WILL JUDGE ME.........
AND ASSUME XYZ.... ABOUT ME....

BASED ON WHAT?
SUPERFICIALITY?

"HATED YOU BECAUSE YOU DON'T NEED THEIR APPROVAL."
WHY WOULD I SEEK APPROVAL
ABOUT SUPERFICIAL THINGS
THAT SHOULDN'T EVEN FKN MATTER!!!!!!!!!!!!????

SHOULD I EVEN WANT THAT?
FROM THEM?
OR ANYONE?

OR??? SHOULD I BE ALLOWED....
NOT TO WANT THAT?

SO IF I SHOULD BE ALLOWED....
NOT TO WANT THAT....

WHY SHOULD THEY "HATE" ME
FOR THAT?

SHOULD THEY?

AND SHOULD I GAF IF THEY DO OR NOT?

BECAUSE IF SOMEONE "HATES" ME
BECAUSE I DON'T "NEED"
THEIR APPROVAL....

TO BUY A CHEAP BAG....
"NOBODY WOULD ADMIRE ME FOR HAVING"
(AND I DGAF IF ANYONE DOES OR NOT...)

SHOULD I GAF THAT THEY DO?????
THAT THEY "HATE" ME BECAUSE OF THAT?

THEY AREN'T "HATING" ME BECAUSE THEY KNOW ME.
BECAUSE THEY "HATE" ME SO MUCH
THAT THEY NEVER WILL KNOW ME!

AND THAT'S BECAUSE THEY "HATE" ME.

GET IT NOW?

If you are so BUSY "hating" someone.....
HOW ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO KNOW THEM?

YOU WON'T BECAUSE YOU ARE TOO "BUSY"
"HATING" THEM.

TO KNOW THEM.

If I "approved" every racist OPINION....
ABOUT EVERY SINGLE RACE, EVER....

I MOST LIKELY WOULD BECOME "RACIST."

AM I? DO I EVEN WANT TO BE RACIST? 

NO!!!! I'M NOT AND DON'T GAF ABOUT RACISM!!!!!!!!

IF I WAS "TOO BUSY BEING RACIST"
WOULD I KNOW PEOPLE I WAS BEING RACIST TOWARD????

NO! I WOULDN'T!

BECAUSE I'D BE "TOO BUSY BEING RACIST."
TO ACTUALLY KNOW THEM.
AS A PERSON. 

THAT IS WHAT DIVISION IS.

SO THAT PEOPLE....
WON'T KNOW OTHER PEOPLE
AS PEOPLE.

AND THAT GOES FOR S*XISM TOO!!!!!!!!
OKAY????

BECAUSE IF DUDES ARE "TOO BUSY BEING S*XIST"
WILL THEY KNOW FEMALES....
AS PEOPLE????

NO?

WHY IS THAT?
BECAUSE.... THEY ARE "TOO BUSY BEING S*XIST!"

UNDERSTAND?

This post is getting a PART 2.

Defending Disinterest (Part 2)

I should be sleeping. I tried. 

I was about to go to bed... I was tired.
I still am... 

But.... Mr Curiosity.... 
"Didn't understand"
WHEN I EXPLAINED IT
A SECOND TIME. 

I TRIED. 

GAVE HIM THE CHANCE TO STOP HIS CRAP....
BUT???? HE WENT FULL FKTARD. 

TRIED TO TELL ME I WAS WRONG....
THAT HE "NEVER"
ASKED ME ABOUT MY S*X LIFE.

AND DEFENDED HIMSELF:
"DID I ASK FOR DETAILS?
DID I ASK THIS OR THAT?"

BUT.... WHAT.... DID HE ASK?

IF I EVER HAD TENDER S*XUAL EXPERIENCES?

I posted it, the full convo, so my friends could see.
AND SOMEONE TOLD ME HE WAS GASLIGHTING.
I KNEW IT, BUT... CONFIRMED.

That's how the "argument" started. 

ABOUT HIM ASKING ME THAT....
AND DENYING IT.

It wasn't "confrontational"

NOT EVEN CLOSE.

IT WAS MORE LIKE THIS:

Is that a "confrontation"? 
OR??? AN ANALOGY?

And it continued... Actually.

TRIED HARD TO GASLIGHT ME. 

I BLOCKED THAT FKER. 

NO POINT. HE DIDN'T "UNDERSTAND."

I EXPLAINED IT TWICE, ACTUALLY.
NICELY. 

WITH AN ANALOGY. 

I COULD HAVE..... RIPPED HIM ONE.
DIDN'T. 

MY LAST WORDS TO HIM:
WOW. OKAY. DONE.

BLOCKED. 

HE CAN TRY THAT SH*T WITH SOMEONE ELSE.
IT DIDN'T WORK WITH ME.

FOR A REASON: I SAW THAT SH*T.
THAT'S WHY.

IT MIGHT WORK ON SOMEONE 
WHO DOESN'T SEE THAT SH*T. 

HE TRIED TO DO IT SUBTLY. 

AND THEN DENIED IT. 

It started when he asked me if I get "lonely and scared"
WTF IS THAT TO ASK SOMEONE?

IF I HAD SAID YES? "OFFER."
A "REASON" TO "OFFER."

HE WAS ASKING CERTAIN QUESTIONS
WANTING CERTAIN ANSWERS. 

HE DIDN'T GET THE ANSWERS HE WANTED.

IT BLEW UP IN HIS FACE, AND HE GOT MAD.

TOTALLY GOT DEFENSIVE.... 
THE TACTICS... WOW.

JUST... WOW.

WHEN I SEE THAT SH*T????

I WANT TO SLAP THEM THROUGH THE SCREEN!
"WAKE UP!"

HE WAS TRYING TO ACT LIKE HE "UNDERSTOOD" ME.
" I SYMPATHIZE" WITH THE "HURT"
BECAUSE: "YOU ISOLATE YOURSELF BECAUSE XYZ."

EXCUSE ME? I ISOLATE MYSELF....
BECAUSE I DON'T "NEED" TO BE AROUND MOST PEOPLE.

WHY DO I NEED TO BE "TOLD" WHY I CHOOSE ANYTHING?
I ALREADY KNOW WHY! 

I'M THE ONE MAKING MY CHOICES! RIGHT?
WOULDN'T I BE THE ONE WHO KNOWS WHY????! 

That's fkd up. 

I see sh*t about people that they can't see in themselves. 
THEY DON'T LIKE IT.

THAT'S WHY MY "EXPLANATION"
WAS CLASSIFIED AS "CONFRONTATION."

I WAS SUPPOSED TO ARGUE WITH HIM...
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO "WIN" THE ARGUMENT.

AND HE CAN TELL HIS "NARRATIVE."
I DGAF WHAT HE SAYS. 

I KEPT THE PROOF OF HOW HE ACTED. 
ALL 22 SCREENSHOTS. 

The decent people I've met... Cool folks!

That guy? Not so much. 

I was supposed to "cooperate"
WITH HIS STRATEGY. 
I WASN'T. 

I WASN'T SUPPOSED TO "CONFRONT" HIM.

AND HE FOUND THAT "STRANGE."

I FOUND THE WHOLE FKN THING "STRANGE." 

AND IF I WAS A MALE....
HE WOULDN'T HAVE ASKED ME....
ANY OF THOSE QUESTIONS.

HE LITERALLY WENT AS FAR AS TO "TELL" ME
THAT I WAS MAKING IT UP. FFS.

HE WAS TRYING TO "PRODUCE" A "CONCLUSION"

LIKE HE WAS "TOLERATING" ME.

WTF?

TO TRY TO "MAKE ME" FEEL "BAD"
ABOUT "MAKING STUFF UP."

IF IT'S TO STOP BEING FRIENDS....
LIKE I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ALL LIKE:

"I STILL WANT TO BE FRIENDS."
IT WASN'T ABOUT BEING MY FRIEND.

IT WAS ABOUT WHATEVER TF HE WANTED.

HE WANTED "CONTROL."
TO TRY TO "DESTABILIZE" ME.

IT DIDN'T WORK.

HE KNEW WHAT HE WAS DOING...
AND DENIED IT. 

HE KNEW THAT I KNEW, TOO.
WHICH IS "STRANGE." RIGHT?

WHY WOULD I "ACCEPT" HIS VERSION
OF WHO HE WAS TRYING TO "TELL" ME THAT I AM?

THIS IS MANIPULATION. IT'S GROSS. 

NO. I KNOW WHO TF I AM. 
"ISOLATION" GAVE ME THAT "GIFT."

MAYBE THAT'S WHY I "ISOLATE."
BECAUSE "FEW" ACTUALLY KNOW ME?

AND BECAUSE I'M ALLOWED TO?
IF I WANT TO?

HMMM.

IT'S JUST.... FKD UP. 
BEING "TOLD" WHY I DO THINGS.

I'M NOT GOING TO PARTICIPATE IN THAT SH*T.

NO POINT.

"REFRAMING."
THAT'S WHY HE HAD TO TRY TO "REFRAME"
HIS OWN BEHAVIOR. 
AND MY "RESPONSE" TO IT. 

FKN DISTURBING, ACTUALLY. 

I DO NOT "NEED" THAT SH*T.

I DON'T NEED HIS "AGREEMENT"
ABOUT HIS BS TO KNOW IT'S BS.

HE TRIED TO "DISTORT" MY JUDGMENT. 

AFTER OTHER FKTARDS DOING THAT SH*T....
I KNOW WHAT THAT LOOKS LIKE.

EVEN WHEN THEY TRY TO DO IT "SUBTLY."

BUT... I KNOW WHY HE DID THAT. 

TO TRY TO GET ME TO "QUESTION" MYSELF.
BECAUSE HE WANTED TO TRY TO MAINTAIN HIS "IMAGE"
OF HIMSELF... 

AS "JUST CURIOUS."

NO. IT WAS MORE THAN THAT.

RESENTING THIS FKER, AND THE OTHER FKERS... 
ISN'T HELPING ME.

HE THOUGHT I WAS "STUPID."
MY INTELLIGENCE WAS A "THREAT."
THAT'S WHY HE WANTED ME TO DOUBT MYSELF
AND MY OWN JUDGMENT. 

WHEN YOU KNOW YOUR WORTH....
YOU DON'T EVEN WANT TO BE AROUND FKERS LIKE THAT.

HE COULDN'T "MANAGE" ME.
HE TRIED.
FAILED.

I "ISOLATE" BECAUSE I DON'T "HAVE TO" BE
AROUND ANYONE
IF I DON'T WANT TO BE!!!!!

WELP, HE FKD HIS CHANCE. 
BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT HE DID WITH IT.

I EXPLAINED IT TWICE to him. 
Shouldn't have had to. At all. 

I DON'T NEED TO "WIN" AN ARGUMENT
I WASN'T TRYING TO HAVE.

HE DID. THAT'S WHY HE KEPT GOING. 

SO YOU CAN SEE WHY THIS SH*T IS BS????
WHY IT WOULD ACTUALLY P*SS ME OFF?

I WILL GET TO SLEEP... EVENTUALLY...

I am TIRED. I need to sleep....
BUT I AM TIRED OF THAT SH*T. 

NOT NEEDED.

I KNEW IT WAS A RISK TO EVEN POST IN THAT GROUP.
I KNEW THERE WAS GOING TO BE AT LEAST ONE PERSON
I WAS GOING TO HAVE TO BLOCK.

AT LEAST ONE.

"WAS JUST CURIOUS...." 

SHOULD HAVE BLOCKED HIM BEFORE HE WENT FULL FKTARD.

My friend said that dudes will pretend to sympathize...
SOME OF THEM, NOT ALL OF THEM....
"I CAN FIX HER."
WHO SAID I WANT ANYONE TO "FIX" ME?
And he then said that it isn't to actually "fix" you....
It's because he thinks he's such a gift to women
that he CAN. SO HE THINKS.

"SOMETHING TERRIBLE MUST HAVE HAPPENED TO HER
TO TURN HER OFF OF S*X..."

OR MAYBE.... SO MANY EGO TRIPS
THAT I'M ON "VACATION" FROM ALL OF THAT.

ON PURPOSE. 

TURNED OFF.... BECAUSE.... THAT.... IS... GROSS.
ACTING LIKE YOU'RE 14......
WHEN YOU'RE OVER 40....

YEAH.... THAT.... IS... A... TURN OFF.
NOT SORRY ABOUT IT.

BECAUSE: FK THAT.
THAT'S WHY.