Getting It Out Of My System...

It fkn bothers me. Okay? It fkn does. 
IF I FKN TREATED PEOPLE
THE WAY THEY FKN TREAT ME....
THEY WOULD WANT NOTHING TO FKN DO WITH ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I blocked that chick's other account because she has another one. 
I blocked it. 

So she used one of them that wasn't blocked to contact me. 

WHY CALL FIRST?

LIKE I'M GOING TO JUMP ON A CALL?
AFTER THAT? WTF?!!!!

THEN ASKING ME HOW I AM...
LIKE NOTHING FKN HAPPENED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NO "SORRY I TREATED YOU LIKE THAT..."
FKN NOTHING!

NO ACKNOWLEDGEMENT... 
NONE. 

JUST ACTING LIKE SHE NEVER TREATED ME LIKE THAT. 
SHE DID! SHE KNOWS SHE DID!

EVERYONE WHO EVER TREATED ME LIKE SH*T....
KNOWS EXACTLY HOW THEY FKN TREATED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
THEY KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SO TRYING TO ACT LIKE THEY NEVER DID ANYTHING... 

IS FKN SO DAMN INSULTING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ON TOP OF ACTING LIKE THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FKN INSULTING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
IT P*SSES ME OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IF I ACTED LIKE THAT, IT'D BE INSULTING TO THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LIKE I NEVER DID ANYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHAT DID I DO? REFUSED TO GET ON A CALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WANTED CONSIDERATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AS A FKN PERSON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NOT TO JUST BE "USED" FOR SOMETHING THEY FKN WANTED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FK THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!! SO SICK OF THIS SH*T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I EXPECT THAT FROM THE YOUNGER PEOPLE, 
BUT NOT FROM ANYONE OLDER THAN ME. 

SHE'S YOUNGER. 

THAT DUDE WHO SAID BYE TO ME IS OLDER. 

BUT WHATEVER, RIGHT?

WHY WOULD ANYONE GAF?
ONLY TO GET WHAT THEY WANT....
OR FKN TRY AGAIN?

SHE REALLY TRIED CONTACTING ME AFTER THAT SH*T!

Whatever... Part 2

Months ago, there was a chick I had met.
I took time out to teach her how to crochet and listened to her...
TOOK TIME OUT OF MY LIFE FOR HER. 

SHE GOT LIVID AT ME BECAUSE SHE WANTED TO JUMP ON A CALL!
AND I HAD TALKED TO HER ON A CALL FOR 6 FKN HOURS.
THE NIGHT BEFORE. 

SHE WANTED ME TO BE HER LISTENER. 
WANTED ALL MY TIME AND ENERGY.

GOT SELFISH ABOUT IT.
GOT MAD ABOUT IT. 

BECAUSE I COULDN'T STAY UP ALL FKN NIGHT!
I HAD SH*T TO DO THE NEXT DAY.

I FKN TOLD HER THAT. 
INSTEAD OF ACCEPTING I COULDN'T. THAT NIGHT, 
SHE FKN WENT ON AN HOURS LONG ATTACK AT ME. 

CALLING ME CRUEL. BECAUSE I WOULDN'T JUMP ON A CALL.

SHE TRIED CONTACTING ME TODAY. I BLOCKED HER.
I'M NOT GOING THROUGH THAT SH*T AGAIN. 
NOT WITH HER, NOT WITH ANYONE. 
SHE CAN GO FK HERSELF. 

THIS IS WHY I DON'T HAVE MANY FEMALE FRIENDS.

I CAN BE THERE, AS A FRIEND, LISTENING, CARING....
BUT IF SOMEONE TREATS ME A TYPE OF WAY....
BECAUSE THEY DIDN'T GET WHAT THEY WANTED FROM ME...
WHY TF WOULD WANT TO GIVE TO SOMEONE
WHO JUST WANTS WHAT THEY WANT
NO MATTER WHAT?

RUINED HER CHANCE TO BE MY FRIEND. 

I DON'T GIVE MANY CHANCES FOR FRIENDSHIP. 
BECAUSE MOST PEOPLE ARE SO FKN SELFISH. 

SHE "CALLED" ME FIRST. 
AND I "MISSED THE CALL"
WAS I EXPECTING HER TO TRY TO CONTACT ME? NO. 
BUT SHE DID IT TO TRY TO GET SOMETHING FROM ME. 
I ALREADY KNOW THIS. 

WHY WANT TO TALK TO SOMEONE AS "CRUEL" AS I AM?
FOR JUST NEEDING TO FKN SLEEP?
FOR NEEDING TO SLEEP?

IT COULD HAVE WAITED. 
SHE COULD HAVE JUST KEPT IT AT "GOOD NIGHT" FOR THE NIGHT. 
AND LET ME UNWIND, RECHARGE, REST.
FOR THE DAY I HAD THE NEXT DAY. 

SHE COULD HAVE WRITTEN DOWN WHAT SHE WANTED TO SAY... 
AND SAVED IT FOR THE NEXT DAY. 

I TOLD HER I WOULD MAKE TIME FOR HER THE NEXT DAY!!!!!!!!
DID I HAVE TO MAKE ANY TIME FOR HER AT ALL?

FK NO!

THAT'S THE THING. PEOPLE WANT MY FKN TIME, MY ATTENTION
THAT I COULD BE USING FOR OTHER THINGS... 

AND DON'T EVEN FKN APPRECIATE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OR ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THEY JUST WANT IT!!!!!!!!!!
AND WHATEVER ELSE FROM ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AND ACT LIKE A TOTAL SH*T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WHEN THEY DON'T GET IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AM I SUPPOSED TO GIVE TOTAL SH*TS EVERYTHING THEY FKN WANT?
FK NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THEY WANT TO ACT LIKE THAT?! THEY GET SH*T! FK ALL! FROM ME!

THEY LITERALLY "FORGET" THEY TREATED ME LIKE THAT!!!!
OR WANT ME TO "FORGET" ABOUT IT.
I DON'T. I FKN DON'T. 

AND I DEFINITELY DON'T WANT ANY MORE OF THAT SH*T. 
WHY WOULD I WANT THAT?

MAYBE "UNDERSTANDING" WOULD BE NICE!

UNDERSTANDING THAT I'M NOT HERE TO GIVE EVERYONE
EVERY LITTLE FKN THING THEY WANT!!!!!!!!!!
WHENEVER THEY FKN WANT IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FK THEM!!!!!!! DO THEY EVEN THINK ABOUT ME???!!!! AT ALL?
IF THEY DID, WOULD THEY BE TREATING ME LIKE THAT?
AND ACTING LIKE THAT?

THEY CAN ACT LIKE THAT WITH SOMEONE ELSE. 

THEN WONDER WHY THEY FKED OFF, TOO. 

Whatever...

So the dude read my messages back to his...
"I guess you've moved on to other people now. Bye."

I said, "I wouldn't guilt you for being busy."

He said, "Whatever. You do you."

Yes, I will. Don't need your PERMISSION. 
TO FKN LIVE MY LIFE!

Could be LIVING YOURS! RIGHT?!

LIKE YOU FKN DID BEFORE YOU MET ME!!!!!!

BUT YOU QUESTION IF I'M EVEN REAL....
THEN GET FKN MAD THAT I HAVEN'T FELT LIKE TALKING?
TO SOMEONE WHO CAN'T SEE I'M A REAL FKN PERSON?

BUT BLAME ME FOR KEEPING MYSELF BUSY...
TOO OLD TO BE DOING THAT SH*T. 

THAT'S WHY I DIDN'T THINK HE FKN WOULD. 
NEVER ACTED LIKE THIS BEFORE... 

WHEN YOU GET TO BE A CERTAIN AGE, 
YOU SHOULD BE TOO FKN OLD FOR THAT SH*T!!!!

SHOULD HAVE OUTGROWN THAT SH*T!!!!
WAS IT WORTH IT?
WORTH ME NOT GIVING A FK ANYMORE?

BECAUSE WHY SHOULD I?
IF YOU'RE GONNA ACT LIKE THAT???!!!

IT'S NOT COOL OR CUTE. IT'S GROSS!

Disappointed

I thought highly of the guy... 
I had talks with him. 
I asked him questions. 
We have talked. 

I thought he was someone I COULD TALK TO. 

THAT MEANT SOMETHING TO ME. 

IN A WORLD WHERE PEOPLE TREAT ME LIKE
JUST BEING MYSELF IS SUCH A FKN CRIME. 

INSTEAD OF PROTECTING OUR FRIENDSHIP...
HE DID THIS.
I'M DISAPPOINTED BECAUSE I WASN'T EXPECTING THIS.
NOT FROM HIM. 
I THOUGHT HE KNEW BETTER THAN TO DO THAT. 
AND THAT HE WOULDN'T. 

BUT HE DID.

SO WHAT DO I DO WITH THAT?