Why Is THAT?

If you saw how she reacted when I told her
THAT I COULDN'T GIVE HER THE TIME SHE WANTED
RIGHT WHEN SHE WANTED IT, 
THAT I WOULD GIVE HER TIME THE NEXT DAY....
If you saw how she reacted to that....
You would know why I wasn't even expecting to ever hear from her again. 
But it seems when someone wants something
they don't care about how they reacted to anything
TOWARDS ME. 

IF I ACTED LIKE THAT, THEY COULD DROP ME. 
I KNOW THIS.
IT WOULD BE THEIR RIGHT TO DO SO.

I DON'T REACT LIKE THAT.

IT ISN'T FAIR. 

It just bothers me when some things are UNFAIR
AND NOBODY SEEMS TO REALIZE
HOW FKN UNFAIR SOMETHING WAS TO ME.

How they act when they don't get what they want
SAYS EVERYTHING ABOUT THEM. 

SAYS WHAT KIND OF PERSON THEY ARE. 

If they have a fkn TANTRUM, they can fk off. 

ESPECIALLY IF THEY ARE FULL ADULTS. 
WHO SHOULD BE GROWN ENOUGH
NOT TO ACT LIKE THAT. 

Anyone trying to guilt me or manipulate my feelings
WITH PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE SH*T|
OR ANY OTHER BS
GETS FK ALL FROM ME. 

FROM NOW ON. 

I'm just so tired of that crap. 
I have been for a long time. 

MAYBE IT WORKS ON SOME PEOPLE, 
BUT NOT ON ME. 

IT P*SSES ME OFF; IT'S ABOUT ALL THAT IT DOES. 

But, one would think
an ADULT
would know better
than to do that sh*t.

BUT TOO MANY "ADULTS"
DON'T FKN ACT LIKE ADULTS!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHY IS THAT?

Expected A Reply

I didn't OWE her a REPLY
TO HER HARASSMENT. 

SHE TRIED TO MAKE IT "SEEM"
LIKE SHE WAS "ONLY"
ASKING ME HOW I'M DOING....

AFTER MONTHS....

I KNOW SHE WAS ASKING BECAUSE SHE WANTED SOMETHING. 
SHE PROBABLY WANTED ME TO TEACH HER CROCHET AGAIN.
OR SOMETHING ELSE FROM ME. 

PEOPLE DON'T CONTACT ME
JUST TO ASK HOW I AM DOING. 

NOT EVEN MY OWN FAMILY.

I FKN HATE THAT SH*T. 
FKN DOING SOMETHING WITH AN AGENDA.... 

SHE ONLY "CARED" ABOUT WHAT SHE WANTED FROM ME.
AND GETTING IT. 

THAT'S WHY SHE GOT MAD, THAT MAD. 

FK OFF WITH YOUR ENTITLEMENT & EGO.
WHEN DID I START OWING EVERYTHING TO EVERYONE?
WHEN?????????????

I'D LIKE TO KNOW THAT. 
JUST THAT.

WHY DO SOME PEOPLE THINK IT STARTS
AS SOON AS WE MEET EACH OTHER..... 

NO. I ONLY "HEAR" FROM MOST PEOPLE...
IF THEY WANT SOMETHING FROM ME. 
THAT'S IT. 

NOT TO ASK ME: "HOW ARE YOU?"
WHY DO YOU WANT TO KNOW?
SO YOU CAN ASK ME SOMETHING ELSE?

GET TO THE POINT! OR P*SS OFF!
WHY WASTE MY TIME?

GO WASTE SOMEONE ELSE'S TIME!

WHY DO I KEEP TO MYSELF MOSTLY?
BECAUSE EVERYONE WANTS TO DO WITH THEIR TIME
WHAT THEY WANT TO DO WITH IT. 

INCLUDING ME. 

WHY WOULD ANYONE WANT ME TO WASTE THEIR TIME?

BUT YOU CAN'T HAVE A "FALLING OUT" WITH ME, 
THEN POP UP MONTHS LATER LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED. 
NO "SORRY I TREATED YOU LIKE XYZ..." NOTHING... 

NO FKN ACKNOWLEDGEMENT ABOUT THEIR ACTIONS.
THEIR BEHAVIOR TOWARD ME, AND THEIR CHOICES. 

NOTHING....

AND EXPECT TO "CONTINUE" KNOWING ME?

NO. I DON'T WANT TO KNOW ANYONE
WHO CAN'T FKN ACKNOWLEDGE ME OR ANYTHING THEY DO.

AND I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT ACKNOWLEDGING ME:
"HOW ARE YOU?"

ACKNOWLEDGING ME AS IN:
"HOW I TREATED YOU WASN'T RIGHT OR FAIR."

WHY? BECAUSE "YOU WOULDN'T HAVE TREATED ME LIKE THAT."
EXACTLY.

SOMETHING I WANT ACKNOWLEDGED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ABOUT ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BUT NOPE....
NOTHING. 

NOTHING BUT BARE MIN, IF THAT.
AND EXPECTING TO GET WHATEVER IT WAS THEY WANTED. 

DOESN'T WORK LIKE THAT.

DO I GET WHAT I WANT? HARDLY FKN EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
IS IT FAIR WHEN I HAVE TO DEAL WITH ENTITLED TWATS?
WHO ARE USED TO GETTING EVERYTHING THEY WANT?
ALL THE FKN TIME?

WHILE GETTING FKN NOTHING????????????????

IT'S FKN NOT!

SO THEY CAN P*SS RIGHT OFF!

I Managed It

I managed to block her, finally. 
It shouldn't have been hard to do, but it wasn't easy. 
Just to do that. 

WHY WOULD I WANT TO BE HARASSSED?
AFTER BEING INSULTED?

I AM NOT "CRUEL" FOR NOT GIVING IN
TO SOMEONE WHO WANTED TOO FKN MUCH FROM ME!

NOT GIVING IN WHEN I DID NOT FKN OWE THAT TO HER.
TO ANYONE.

EXCEPT MY SON. HE IS THE ONLY ONE I OWE MY ATTENTION TO.
EVEN THEN, HE KNOWS I CAN ONLY DO SO MUCH. 
HE DOESN'T ASK ME TO OVEREXTEND MYSELF. 
DOESN'T DEMAND IT. 
HE'S ACCEPTED THAT I HAVE MY LIMITS.
ESPECIALLY RIGHT NOW. 

IT WON'T ALWAYS BE LIKE THIS, BUT....
IT IS WHAT IT IS, FOR NOW.

HE KNOWS THAT AND HAS ACCEPTED THAT. 
IT MAY ANNOY HIM, HE MAY GET FRUSTRATED... 

BUT HE HAS ACCEPTED IT.
HE DIDN'T LIKE IT, BUT IT IS WHAT IT IS, RIGHT NOW.

I know that it won't ALWAYS be like THIS, though. 

I was thinking about THIS last night. 
I was thinking that each place I ever lived at... 
HAS BEEN A STEPPING STONE TO THE NEXT PLACE. 

I TOLD MY FRIEND... 
HE SAID: "LIFE IS ALWAYS CHANGING."

It's true, it is. It always is. 

I know that I'm changing, too. 

I'm getting some things set up. 
I'm trying to get organized... 

Sore throat today, and I feel gross... 
I want to get a few things and go back to bed. 

Just this year so far has been nuts SOCIALLY. 
AND "ROMANTICALLY" 
IF YOU CAN EVEN CALL IT THAT... 
BECAUSE I GAVE UP ON IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
TO THE POINT I'M NOT LOOKING FOR ANYTHING ANYMORE!

EVERY TIME I WAS, I'D GET BLASTED.
NOT FUN. 
NOT COOL. 
NOT SOMETHING I WANT. 

OR WANTED. 

WANTED MATURITY AND RESPECT.
THAT'S WHAT I WANTED. 

FKN RARE!!!!! WHY?????

EVEN FKN SOCIALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
IT'S BEEN BS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SOME DUDE TOLD ME HE WANTS TO PUT HIS HEAD
IN MY LAP AND JUST TALK WITH ME. 

HE BARELY TALKS TO ME AS IT IS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I DON'T WANT ANYONE'S HEAD IN MY LAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WHAT MAKES HIM THINK I WANT WHAT HE WANTS?????
FROM ME????????????????????????????

DUDES DON'T THINK ABOUT THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
THEY ONLY WANT WHAT THEY FKN WANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AND DON'T THINK ABOUT ME AT ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IT P*SSES ME OFF SO FKN MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AND THEY EXPECT TO GET WHAT THEY WANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NO!!!!!!!!!! IF YOU WANT TOO MUCH FROM ME...
YOU GET NOTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Should I let people want TOO MUCH FROM ME?
THEN ACT LIKE THAT WHEN THEY DON'T GET IT?

SHOULD I WANT TOO MUCH FROM EVERYONE????????
THAT THEY WANT FROM ME??????????

AND EXPECT IT?
AND GET MAD?
WHEN I DON'T GET IT??????

NO THANKS. 

I've seen too many people acting LIKE THAT
THAT I SEE WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE. 

I DON'T WANT TO BE SEEN LIKE THAT. 
I WOULDN'T WANT TO BE SEEN LIKE THAT. 
BECAUSE I'M NOT LIKE THAT. 
THAT'S NOT ME. 

BUT, I KEEP ENCOUNTERING ALL KINDS OF BS!!!!!
EVEN MINDING MY OWN BUSINESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THEY MUST LOOK AT ME AND THINK:
"EASY TARGET."
TO GET WHATEVER THEY WANT... 

THEY DO THIS SH*T TO "NICE" PEOPLE.
UNTIL THEY REALIZE THE NICE PEOPLE
WERE ONLY BEING NICE
BECAUSE THEY WANTED TO BE.....

NOT BECAUSE THEY FKN HAD TO BE... 

AND THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN...
THE NICE PEOPLE ARE "CRUEL"
BECAUSE SOME GREEDY B*TCH DIDN'T GET WHAT SHE WANTED. 
OR SOME GREEDY MOFO. 

FK OFF WITH YOUR GREED. 
MAYBE TRY NOT WANTING VERY FKN MUCH.

EVEN THOUGH I DON'T WANT VERY FKN MUCH....
IT SEEMS LIKE WANTING RESPECT SEEMS
TO BE OUT OF THE QUESTION.... 

WHY IS THAT?

Contacted AGAIN!!!!

I TRIED TO FREAKING BLOCK THIS C*NT....
SOMEHOW, IT DIDN'T BLOCK HER.

SHE CONTACTED ME AGAIN.
JUST "HI" THEN A THUMBS UP. 
AT FREAKING 2AM!!!!!!

I WASN'T AWAKE AT 2AM!

AND IF I WAS, WHY WOULD I WANT TO TALK TO HER????!!!

DID I REPLY TO THE LAST MESSAGE? NO?
THEN FKN LEAVE ME THE FK ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHAT IF I ACTED LIKE THIS?
IT'S LITERALLY HARASSMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I BLOCKED HER OTHER ACCOUNT. 
THAT'S WHY SHE'S USING THAT ONE. 
THE OTHER ONE IS BLOCKED. 

I THOUGHT I BLOCKED HER!
I TRIED TO AGAIN. TODAY.

IT BETTER BLOCK HER. 
I WANT HER BLOCKED. 

I DON'T WANT TO BE CONTACTED BY HER AGAIN!

I AM NOT HER FRIEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SHE DIDN'T TREAT ME WELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AND NOW DOING THIS?
AFTER SHE COULD HAVE FKD RIGHT OFF?

WHAT TF DOES SHE EVEN WANT?

MORE OF WHAT SHE OBVIOUSLY
DIDN'T APPRECIATE???????????

NO THANKS. JUST NO.

AFTER MONTHS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
MONTHS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I THOUGHT SHE MOVED ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BUT SHE DIDN'T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BECAUSE SHE THINKS CONTACTING ME
LIKE NOTHING FKN HAPPENED
IS GOING TO CHANGE THINGS SOMEHOW. 
IT WON'T. 

SHE'S STILL ACTING FKN ENTITLED
TO MY TIME AND ATTENTION!

SHE'S NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
NOBODY IS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
EXCEPT MY KID. HE IS.

FK EVERYONE ELSE.
ACTING ENTITLED FFS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IF I ACTED LIKE THAT?????

SHOULD I GET A RESTRAINING ORDER?

I DON'T KNOW WHERE SHE LIVES. 
OR OTHER INFO. 
WE MET UP ONCE. 

BUT SHE DIDN'T WANT ME TO LEAVE. 
WANTED MORE OF MY TIME. 
4 HOURS WASN'T ENOUGH FOR HER FFS. 

I WAS FKN TIRED. 
IT TAKES A LOT OF ENERGY
BEING AROUND PEOPLE
WHO WANT TO SUCK IT OUT OF ME. 

BUT I HAD OTHER PLANS OTHER THAN HER. 
SHE WANTED ME TO CANCEL MY PLANS.
TO SPEND MORE TIME WITH HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WTF???????????? NO.
YOU DON'T GET TO TRY TO MANIPULATE ME LIKE THAT.

BUT A THUMBS UP BECAUSE SHE TRIED TO SAY HI TO ME?
WHEN I WAS FKN SLEEPING? AT 2AM?

AND I DON'T WANT TO TALK TO HER?

WOULD ANYONE WANT TO TALK TO ME
IF I ACTED LIKE THAT????????

PROBABLY NOT!

MAYBE THAT'S WHY SHE IS HAVING A HARD TIME
MAKING FRIENDS.

I GAVE HER A CHANCE. 

I DON'T HAVE TO GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE. 
NOTHING HAS CHANGED. 
SHE HASN'T. 
SHE WON'T. 
SHE CAN'T SEE WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE. 
IF SHE COULD, WOULD SHE ACT LIKE THAT?

IF SHE ACTS LIKE THAT WHEN SHE DOESN'T GET WHAT SHE WANTS....
NO POINT IN GIVING HER ANYTHING SHE WANTS. 

THAT SH*T SHOULD NOT BE "REWARDED."

IT'S NOT OKAY OR COOL TO HARASS ME
AT ALL, LET ALONE MONTHS AFTER INSULTING ME. 

PEOPLE THINK I'M COOL WITH BEING INSULTED. 
WOULD THEY BE COOL WITH THAT?

BEING CALLED "CRUEL"
FOR NOT GETTING ON A FKN CALL?

SHE WOULD HAVE TRIED TO KEEP ME ON THAT CALL FOR HOURS!!!!
LIKE THE VERY FIRST FKN CALL!!!!!!!!!!!

I'M NOT HER FKN THERAPIST. I OWE HER NOTHING!

WHY WOULD I WANT FRIENDS WHO ACT LIKE THIS?