Wasn't About That

I hope that I got my points across
from the last post. "Stage Left."

Can only hope? Right?

Can't force anyone
TO GET THE POINT.

Because they don't like
being "made to" do it, right?

Why not do it, 
because you want to?

BECAUSE YOU SEE
HOW IT COULD HELP YOU.

HOW NOT MAKING YOURSELF
LOOK BAD
COULD HELP YOU.

It could. Facts are facts, right?
Should it matter MORE coming from
"someone who is a someone"?

Than from someone "who's a nobody"
but "thinks they are a somebody."

I'D RATHER BE A NOBODY.
DO I CARE TO BE A SOMEBODY?

I'D ALREADY BE A SOMEBODY
IF I CARED SO MUCH ABOUT THAT.
I DON'T. IDGAF ABOUT THAT.
WHY SHOULD I?
JUST TO BE A "SOMEBODY"? LOL.

What happens? Sh*t or p*ss any differently?
Bleed any differently?

MAYBE YOU TRAVEL DIFFERENTLY.
MAYBE YOU EAT DIFFERENTLY.
MAYBE YOU "GET TO" "LIVE DIFFERENTLY."
AND PEOPLE *WANT TO*
HEAR WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY...

I DUNNO.

I mean, would I WANT people
HANGING ON MY EVERY WORD?
ALL THE TIME?
BEING UP MY @SS?

When you're a "nobody" sure
people "look at you differently"
BUT THAT'S BECAUSE THEY WANT TO!!!

Do I gaf how they look at me?
How they WANT to look at me?

Or do I even gaf what they think, at all?
Let alone about lil ol' me?

BUT BEING A "NOBODY" MEANS
A FEW THINGS.

IT MEANS PEOPLE LEAVE YOU TF ALONE
UNLESS THEY ARE TRYING TO "SHOW YOU OUT."
ALL BECAUSE YOU'RE A "NOBODY."

AND THEY HAVE TO MAKE IT "KNOWN"
THEY ARE A "SOMEBODY"
AND YOU'RE A "NOBODY."

It means that you're FREE
TO THINK WHAT YOU WANT TO THINK
AND WHAT YOU WANT TO THINK ABOUT.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO THINK
LIKE EVERYONE WHO THINKS
THEY ARE A "SOMEBODY."

And when you think "differently"
and you say things to them, 
SUGGEST WAYS THEY COULD
MAYBE IMPROVE
ON A FEW THINGS...

"YOU'RE NOT LIKE ME"
"BECAUSE YOU DON'T THINK LIKE ME."

DO I WANT TO THINK LIKE YOU?

OR MAYBE I CHANGED THE WAY I THINK
ABOUT A LOT OF THINGS
BECAUSE I DON'T?

WHY WOULD I WANT TO?

Thinking the way I used to think...
Was it getting me anywhere? No?
Did I think about some things?
About why it wasn't?
About why it wouldn't?
Why it shouldn't?

If you can SEE
why something might backfire
in your face...

BEFORE YOU EVEN DO IT

THEN DOES IT? NO?

AND HOW CAN YOU SEE?
WHY?
YOU THINK ABOUT IT!!!

YOU THINK ABOUT WHY.
THAT'S IT.

"WHY MIGHT THIS BACKFIRE IN MY FACE?"

Then you GIVE YOURSELF
THOSE REASONS
NOT TO DO IT.

FORESIGHT.

Saves what? Time?
Saves things from backfiring in your face?

Saves you from "having to" look bad?
When you don't actually "have to"?

HAVE I HAD THINGS
BACKFIRE IN MY FACE?

YES. PLENTY OF TIMES.

I WASN'T THINKING ABOUT
HOW THEY MIGHT.
OR WHY THEY MIGHT.

NOR DID I GIVE MYSELF
THOSE REASONS NOT TO DO IT.

BUT DID I LEARN?
HOW IT COULD?
WHY IT COULD?

Someone I used to talk with...

We were talking about choices I made...
Without thinking...

"WHY DO YOU HAVE TO
TOUCH A HOT STOVE
TO FIND OUT
IF IT'S HOT?"

He said something like this.

IT WAS KIND OF A METAPHOR.

"WHY BURN YOUR HAND
TO SEE IF YOU WOULD OR NOT?"

"IS IT HOT? YEAH?
THEN, DO YOU HAVE TO TOUCH IT?
TO FIND OUT FOR YOURSELF?"

OR CAN YOU JUST ACCEPT
THAT IT'S HOT?
IT COULD BURN YOU?
PROBABLY SHOULDN'T TOUCH IT?

WHY, THOUGH?
IT COULD BURN YOU!!!!
THAT'S WHY.

But maybe some people
need to know what it feels like
TO BURN THEMSELVES

TO SAY TO THEMSELVES:
"THAT FKN HURTS.
I DON'T WANT TO DO THAT, AGAIN."

"AND HAD I NOT DONE THAT,
I WOULDN'T HAVE BURNT MYSELF."

It's that people have to be "reasonable"
to have any reasoning skills.

Like I shouldn't do this because this.
I shouldn't do that because that.

If, then.
If not, then.

IT'S NOT THAT COMPLICATED, REALLY.
IT JUST REQUIRES THOUGHT.

BUT TOO BUSY BINGING NETFL*X
OR WHATEVER TF.

ANYTHING ELSE
SO THAT YOU DON'T "HAVE TO" THINK?

Sure, you don't "have to" think.
Least of all about anything I say, 
or write or whatever.

I can live my life NOT GIVING A F*CK
ABOUT WHO THINKS WHAT
ABOUT WHAT I SAY
OR WRITE AND DOESN'T.

OKAY? COOL.

Why should I gaf about that?
Am I writing for anyone?
For anyone to think about it?

OR AM I JUST WRITING?

So long as I'm just writing...
Just let me write!

WITHOUT EXPECTING ME
TO GAF
IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT
OR YOU DON'T!

Am I here to control your every thought?

No. I'm here to have my own thoughts.

AND I DON'T MIND
BEING ALONE, WITH THEM.

BECAUSE I DON'T NEED ANYONE
UP MY @SS.

NOR DO I WANT THAT.

But, it's that I've noticed
PEOPLE SEEM TO WANT YOU TO THINK
JUST LIKE THEM
TO WHAT?
VALIDATE. THEIR. OWN. THOUGHTS.
VALIDATE. THEIR. OWN. VIEWS.
VALIDATE. THEIR. OWN. OPINIONS.

Do I need to or "have to" validate those?
For anyone? No?

THEN DON'T EXPECT ME TO DO IT!!!

I know so many fkn people who do that sh*t.

BUT, SADLY, THEY DON'T KNOW
WHAT ELSE TO FKN DO!

BECAUSE IF THEY VALIDATED
WHATEVER THEY EXPECTED YOU TO, 
WHY WOULD THEY EXPECT YOU TO?

If they thought about stuff...
THAT'S WHAT ELSE THEY COULD BE DOING?

OTHER THAN EXPECTING "VALIDATION"
FROM YOU?

EVEN WANTING IT?

EVEN GIVING A FK ABOUT IT?

Yeah, years and years and years ago...
I sought validation. 
I wanted to "fit in"

UNTIL I REALIZED
THAT'S NOT WHERE I "FIT IN."

AND WHY WAS IT SO "IMPORTANT" TO ME?

WHY DID I CARE SO MUCH ABOUT THAT?
THAT I COULD CARE LESS ABOUT
SO MANY OTHER THINGS?

INCLUDING:
JUST BEING ALONE, WITH MY THOUGHTS?

Some people just "can't" be alone with their own thoughts.
Their "thinking" drives them "crazy."

The point of thinking
IS TO BE ABLE TO SEE
THE TRAPS YOU SET FOR YOURSELF
THAT YOU DON'T HAVE TO.

SO THAT YOU DON'T.

BECAUSE WHY DO IT?
JUST TO DO IT?

We could, we all "could"

BUT WHAT WOULD IT "LOOK LIKE"
NOT DOING IT?

EVEN JUST ONCE?

When I quit drinking.... As an example...
I didn't know what being "sober"
would "look like"

BUT DID I HAVE TO KNOW
WHAT IT WOULD LOOK LIKE?
TO KNOW I COULD FIND OUT?

What would it look like
NOT TO ARGUE WITH ME
ABOUT EVERYTHING I FKN SAY?

LESS ARGUING...
MIGHT MEAN... SOMETHING.

EVEN JUST FKN ONCE.

Because just LETTING ME
TELL YOU SOMETHING

MEANS I CAN ACTUALLY FKN TELL YOU THINGS!!!

AND WHEN I CAN ACTUALLY JUST DO THAT...
IT WOULDN'T BE A HASSLE FOR ME
TO DO IT, RIGHT?

Because why would I want to tell someone
WHO GOES OUT OF THEIR WAY
TO MAKE IT A HUGE FKN HASSLE
EVERY. FKN. TIIME
WHEN I "TRY" TO TELL THEM
ANYTHING!!!!???

WHY WOULD I WANT TO
TELL THEM ANYTHING?

FOR THE HUGE FKN HASSLE
IT'S ALWAYS BEEN TO EVEN TRY TO?

WHEN IT NEVER WHAT?
HAD. TO. BE.

OKAY? Ask. Why?
For what? To get where?
Nothing? Nowhere?

THEN YOU CAN SEE.
WHY I WOULDN'T.

BECAUSE, WOULD YOU?

Or would that be a waste of time?

PEOPLE TAKE TIME FOR GRANTED.
WHAT HAPPENS
WHEN YOU DON'T HAVE MUCH LEFT?

WHAT HAPPENS
WHEN IT SLIPS AWAY
TOO FAST
TO SEE HOW FAST?

There's a guy in this building...

He had a massive heart attack.
I was being told about him before I got to meet him
because he was still in the hospital
when I moved in.

He's on OXYGEN.
YOU GOING TO TAKE SOMETHING
AS PURE AS BEING ABLE TO BREATHE
FOR GRANTED?

And people do!!!! All the time!!!!

They only see what that's like when they need help to.

Anyway, he had surgery
and they gave him a year to live.

They had, before, and he outlived that.

They aren't ALWAYS RIGHT.
THEY CAN EVEN FK UP ROYALLY.

So anyway, he's just taking it easy.
From what I've heard of him, he's a solid guy.

Someone even asked to borrow 6k from him
and they paid him back. 

Getting back ANY money from people who owe ME
has been like pulling teeth. 

EVEN HAVING CONVERSATIONS
WITH PEOPLE.

SOME PEOPLE.

BUT SOMETIMES... CAN'T Y'ALL BE QUIET?
AND JUST... BE... QUIET?

Just... Chill... Without... Saying.... Anything...
Can't we? Just do that?

I remember one time, 
I was going down an escalator
to get on the train...

A guy, on the other side was coming up...

He looked at me, we looked at each other.

Didn't say anything to each other.

Gave me "the peace sign."
Smile and a nod.

Why isn't that just... What we need?
Y'know?

"PEACE SIGN"
"SMILE AND A NOD."

EASY. MELLOW. COOL.

BETWEEN STRANGERS.
JUST. THAT.

Y'KNOW?

Here, we usually greet each other, 
mostly... 

Smile and a nod... Acknowledgement.

"I see you." Kinda thing.

Just walking by.

Or a passing hello.

You never know...
That person you hold the door open for...

THAT ONE THING, 
COULD HAVE MADE THE DIFFERENCE.

JUST FOR THEM.
IN THAT MOMENT.

AND THEY MIGHT...
DO THE SAME
FOR SOMEONE ELSE ETC.

I was in line, at a food place...

I had some coupons...
I took mine, 
passed the rest of them to the person behind me, 
and they did the same, a few times lol. 
They passed them to the person behind THEM
and the person behind THEM
passed to the person behind THEM
until they ran out lol.

It was sweet. Chain reaction.

Like the start of the year...
I do a thing where I...
Get a $20 tim's card.

I give it to whoever I see.
The first person. 

The first person, was a kid coming up
the sidewalk with his folks.

So I kinda stopped them
and told them about my "tradition" thing.
As to why I was giving their kid the tim's card.

He was so happy he asked to hug me lol.

First hug of the year.
Best kind, too.

"I'm so happy I want to hug you."
He didn't say that, 
but he asked if he could hug me.

I'm kinda glad they did go through the "system"
to get this money from me.

Because they had no "other way" of getting it.
HAD I NOT BEEN.

WHICH SHOWS WHY THEY
WENT BEHIND MY BACK TO DO IT.

Because once I gave them the keys
they could have told me, themselves.
Right? I didn't owe them money, then, right?
Or they would have told ME?

THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN
I OWE THEM MONEY
OR ELSE LOL.

And PAYING IT,
IS PROOF THEY MADE ME DO IT.
THROUGH THE PROGRAM.
I HAD NO "CHOICE" RIGHT?

Well, when you owe money, you owe money.

But charging me a fee? After I'm OFF YOUR PROPERTY?
If you had to remove anything WHILE I WAS THERE, OKAY.
BUT WHEN I'M NOT...

I'm not.

And once I walked out that door, and they had their keys back...
I was GONE.

AND HAD I BEEN ANYONE ELSE...
WHO WASN'T IN THE PROGRAM

THEY'D HAVE BEEN GONE
WITH NO WAY OF TELLING THEM
THEY OWE MONEY, RIGHT?

SO CHANCES ARE...
IF YOU CAN'T TELL THEM
YOU DON'T GET IT.

So this is why they did this...
BUT TO ALSO TRY TO GET ME TO
DISQUALIFY MYSELF
BY REFUSING TO PAY IT!!!! LOLOLOLOL!!!!

Don't you think that receipt is ALL I need?
Since everyone wants PROOF
THAT I'M FOLLOWING THE RULES.

SO WHY NOT FOLLOW THEM?

IT'S NOT A WHOLE LOT OFF MY BACK.
BEEN WORSE FOR WEAR

AND THEY DON'T REALIZE THAT.

I'm okay AT SUB ZERO.

Because there'll be a way.
To stretch this and that etc...

Don't you think someone who's had to
FOR A VERY LONG TIME
CAN'T DO IT? LOL!

But I might not always have to.
BUT WHEN I DON'T "NEED TO"

I'LL REMEMBER WHAT IT WAS LIKE
WHEN I "NEEDED TO."

WHAT DO YOU THINK THAT DOES?

MAKES YOU APPRECIATE IT MORE.

BECAUSE YOU KNOW!
WHAT IT WAS LIKE!
NOT TO HAVE IT!
ANYTHING!
WHEN PEOPLE
WANTED TO LEAVE YOU LIKE THAT!

BECAUSE THEY LOOK AT YOU LIKE
"I DON'T WANT TO BE LIKE YOU."
"WHO DOES SHE THINK SHE IS?"
"TO "SUGGEST" ANYTHING TO ME?"

I'M. A. FKN. NOBODY.
JUST THE WAY I LIKE IT.

BECAUSE I WOULD RATHER BE A NOBODY
THAN TO THINK I'M A SOMEBODY
WHO TREATS WHO I THINK IS A NOBODY
AS A NOBODY
EVEN WHEN IT DOESN'T BOTHER THEM.

Especially when they want it to bother them.

IF YOU WANT TO BE ON MY BACK, 
DON'T TURN YOURS
BECAUSE I COULD BE ON YOURS.

AND IF YOU DON'T WANT THE HEAT
DON'T TRY TO BURN ME.

FOR NO FKN REASON.

Especially WHEN YOU PUT THE PROOF
RIGHT IN MY FKN HAND!!!!

But couldn't do that without doing THAT.

Couldn't do it WITHOUT giving me proof
that they are doing it!!!

LIKE BITING SOMEONE
WITHOUT LEAVING TEETH MARKS LOL.

If I pinch her LIKE THIS
nobody can see me doing it!!!

DOES IT CHANGE THE FACT
THAT I CAN? LOL

Give her a deadline
so she doesn't have time to think about
WHY WE ARE DOING THIS
AND HOW WE ARE DOING THIS, THIS WAY.

So she doesn't REALIZE
THAT IF IT WEREN'T FOR THIS, THEN THIS.
THAT WE SHOULD HAVE WENT THROUGH HER

SO SHE WOULDN'T OWE US ARREARS
THAT WE COULD TELL THEM SHE DOES...

You can't out-think someone who fkn thinks.

ESPECIALLY SOMETHING SHADY AF.

Because... *thinking*
If only one thing was different...
THIS FACT...
THAT MEANS...
*THINKING SOME MORE*

Because: "Here are you keys."
"You owe us money."
"For what?"

Removing property that wasn't mine?
I abandoned it.
It was no longer mine.

AND YOU WENT TROUGH A CITY PROGRAM
THAT SHOULD HAVE HAD 
NOTHING MORE TO DO WITH IT
SINCE IT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH RENT
WHICH WAS ALL PAID.
NO DAMAGES OWING? THEN?

This is why I want a lawyer, for this.
AND BEING LEFT HANGING
ON A FKN MOVE
BECAUSE THEY SHOULDN'T HAVE
DENIED ME THE HELP
I WAS FKN ASKING FOR
AND QUALIFIED FOR.
FFS.

WHICH THEY DID. TWICE.

What "choice" did that leave me?

CITY PROGRAM: "F*CK YOU, FEND FOR YOURSELF."

"We already gave you the $300."

"Thanks, but the movers are going to cost more than that."

"We already gave you the $300."

Did I really have a choice about
not being able to take everything with me?
And what happens when other tennants skip the country?
When they're gone, they're gone?
Nothing you can do about it?

SO YOU WANTED MONEY TO REMOVE
PROPERTY ON YOUR PROPERTY
THAT WASN'T HER'S, ANYMORE?

And you used the city to "fear monger"
and add UNDUE STRESS
AND ANXIETY
AND REDUCED HALF HER PAYMENT?

FOR A PAYMENT
SHE SHOULDN'T HAVE HAD TO PAY?

And get this...

DO THEY HAVE PROOF THAT IT WAS ME
THAT LEFT IT THERE?

JUST BECAUSE I LIVED THERE
DOESN'T MEAN IT WAS "MINE"

IT COULD HAVE BELONGED
TO ANYONE I EVER HAD THERE.
WHILE I LIVED THERE.

LIKE MIRROR SMASHER LEFT HIS STUFF.
IT COULD HAVE BEEN HIS.

I ABANDONED "ABANDONED" PROPERTY
THAT WASN'T EVEN MINE LOL.

AND YOU WANT MONEY FOR THAT? LOL.

How did they know it was MINE, EVEN?

ISN'T "POSSESSION 9 TENTHS
OF THE LAW?" LOL.

Once I was out of there, 
it was in THEIR posession. 
on THEIR PROPERTY.

FREE TO DO WITH 
WHATEVER.

HOW DO I KNOW
THAT THEY DIDN'T SELL
THE FREEZER I LEFT THERE
FOR A PROFIT?

HOW DO I KNOW
IF THEY AREN'T EXTRACTING THIS
MONEY FROM ME
TO SPLIT AMONGST THEMSELVES?

HOW DO I KNOW THE CITY PROGRAM
THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO HELP ME MOVE
TOLD EVERYONE THEY DID?

I HAVE PROOF THEY DIDN'T.
IT'S CALLED A BANK STATEMENT.

I have the receipt for the movers, not them.
THEY NEVER EVEN ASKED TO SEE IT!!!

AFTER I CALLED THEM TWICE!

THE HEAD PERSON I WAS TOLD TO CALL.
I LEFT 2 MESSAGES.

How many calls am I supposed to make?
TO GET THEM TO CALL ME BACK?
THEY SHOULD ALREADY KNOW
I WANT TO TALK TO THEM ABOUT IT.

I TOLD THEM.
GAVE THEM 2 WAYS TO CONTACT ME.

So do you see why I want a lawyer?

THEY ARE SCREWING ME AROUND
AND DON'T FKN HAVE TO.

But they are probably thinking:
She can't touch us.
She can't get a lawyer
EVEN IF SHE FIGURES THIS OUT.
BUT SHE WON'T
BECAUSE SHE'S "STUPID."
SHE'S "MENTALLY DISABLED."

I may be disabled in some ways, 
but I can still THINK ABOUT THINGS
YOU NEVER THOUGHT
I'D THINK ABOUT
OR EVEN COULD LOL.

Should have laughed at them
for even wanting the money!

TO REMOVE SOMETHING
THAT WAS NO LONGER MINE
IF IT EVEN HAD BEEN MINE...

JUST BECAUSE I LIVED THERE?
JUST BECAUSE THIS WAS THE "ONLY WAY"
YOU COULD DO IT
AND "MAKE SURE" YOU GOT IT?
ALL OF IT?
IN 2 WEEKS?

OR WHAT?

WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF I DIDN'T?
IF I COULDN'T?

THEN I WOULD BE DISQUALIFIED.

Following the rules is no thing.
But if you break them?
BY DOING SOMETHING
YOU SHOULDN'T BE DOING?

I swear, if you gave ALL THE CITY JOBS
TO PEOPLE THE CITY FKD OVER

THE JOBS WOULD GET DONE.

MEANING? PEOPLE WOULDN'T GET FKD OVER.

LEFT HANGING.
BECAUSE SOMEONE DIDN'T DO THEIR JOB
BY DENYING HELP, TWICE?
A DAY BEFORE THE MOVERS COME?

And the person "in charge" of my "file"
couldn't have put a "note"
"I spoke to her, it's okay to help her"
WHATEVER TF THEY NEEDED TO WRITE.

IN MY FILE.
THAT THEY CAN ALL SEE FFS.

The copy of the receipt I'm about to get
for a BS charge will be in it.

AND IF I HAD A LAWYER
THEY COULD GET COPIES OF ALL
THE EMAILS
BETWEEN THEM AND I.

TO PROVE THAT I SENT THE QUOTE
TO THE EMAIL ADDRESS
I WAS TOLD TO SEND IT TO
AND THEY DENIED ME,
TWICE.

RIGHT BEFORE THE MOVERS CAME.
AND PROOF I HAD TO BORROW
AND DID BORROW MONEY
TO COVER IT
OR I BARELY COULD
COVER WHAT I COULD.
BECAUSE I HAD TO.

OR I'D HAVE TO LEAVE MORE STUFF
AT THE APARTMENT.

And they'd charge me more for doing that?
As much as they "could"?

"Somehow" right?

BECAUSE WHY SHOULD THEY HAVE TO PAY
ANYTHING FOR HAVING TO REMOVE
ANYTHING OFF THEIR PROPERTY?

If  my property anymore, yes.
If my property ON my propertyy, yes.

But *I* was the one who left them
just because my name was on the lease?

WHAT ABOUT MY EX?
HE RAN OUT ON ALL HIS STUFF.

HE BOLTED AFTER HE PUNCHED ME IN THE HEAD
thinking I was gonna beat his @ss when he got back
to get his stuff which I had packed and waiting.

He also didn't stick around
because he thought my brothers would beat his @ss
for punching me in the head.

And how could I do anything about it
IF HE'S IN ANOTHER PROVINCE?

BUT WHAT DID I DO?
I BROUGHT IT TO HIM.
IN HIS PROVINCE.

EXCEPT THIS COMPUTER
THAT USED TO BE HIS.

AND THE TELESCOPE
HE SAID I COULD KEEP.

I DON'T KNOW WHY I DID.
I DON'T USE IT.

I'M USING THIS COMPUTER
Because it'd be cool
if I got to "keep"
the money I get screwed for.

TO BUY SOMETHING.
OR SAVE TO GET IT.

But... If I really did get screwed HARD
and I have any GROUNDS
TO GO AFTER ANYONE
TRYING TO
"TEACH ME A LESSON"

"YOU WIN!" (APRIL FOOLS B*TCHES).

Thought you had ME
where you wanted ME?

AND WHERE DID YOU WANT ME?
WHERE YOU COULD BE?

JUST AFTER ONE MISTAKE IN YOUR LIFE.

JUST ONE.

And was it a mistake?
To think you had me, where you wanted me?

Because, sure.

I'LL LET YOU THINK
I'M TAPPED OUT.
THAT I'M TAPPING OUT LOL.

BUT. TAP. TAP. MUTHAFOOKER.

And they might have to pay me
for a long time.

IF THEY CAN'T PAY ME ALL AT ONCE.

LIKE THEY WANTED ME TO BEG THEM
TO "LET" ME PAY THEM $20/MONTH
FOR HOW LONG? 21 MONTHS LOL.

Actually, that's what the social worker
said he could help me negotiate. But why?

THEY SAID IN FULL BY "DUE DATE"

NO CHOICE.

So? Okay.
"I had no choice, but to pay it, or ELSE."

Did they say in the letters I got
THAT I HAD ANY OPTIONS?

NO? BECAUSE THEY DIDN'T WANT TO
GIVE ME ANY LOL.
AND WANTED ME TO THINK
I DIDN'T HAVE ANY.

Okay. I'll think what you "want" me to, I guess.

BUT WILL THEY HAVE ANY OPTION
OTHER THAN TO FORK OVER ANYTHING
A LAWYER ASKS THEM TO?

TO PROVE WHAT I'VE BEEN SAYING
ABOUT THEM NOT CONTACTING ME
ABOUT MONEY I "OWED" THEM.

I have proof I was told by someone else, not them.

ON CAMERA, WHEN I GAVE THE KEYS BACK...
DOES IT SHOW US
GOING INTO AN OFFICE
TO DISCUSS ANYTHING? NO?

YOU'D THINK THEY'D WANT TO DISCUSS THAT 
WITH ME, RIGHT?
SINCE I WAS THE ONE
WHO OWES THEM MONEY?

SO WHY DIDN'T THEY?
I WAS RIGHT THERE!

GIVING. BACK. THE. KEYS.
SAID NOTHING TO ME.
ABOUT OWING ANYTHING.

So imagine my surprise 2 weeks later
saying that I do?

WHO TOLD ME?
SOMEONE WHO'S RESPONSIBILITY
IT WASN'T TO TELL ME.
IT WAS THEIRS. NOT HIS.

AND THEY COULDN'T CONTACT ME
THEMSELVES.
BECAUSE WHY? I WAS ALREADY GONE.

AND HAD I BEEN ANYONE ELSE
THEY'D JUST BE GONE
WITHOUT "ANY WAY" 
OF TELLING THEM
THEY OWED MONEY
OR "ANY WAY"
OF GETTING IT FROM THEM.

FOR A FEE, NOT PAST RENT.
NOT DAMAGES FFS.

THOSE THINGS, YES.
MY RESPONSIBILITY.

That's why what? We're good on those?

And if I "manage" to pay this one, 
AND I'M NOT CORNERED ABOUT THIS,
WILL ANOTHER CHARGE COME UP
2 WEEKS LATER FFS?

OH WAIT! WE "FORGOT" TO TELL YOU...
WE'LL HAVE THE PROGRAM TELL YOU...

BECAUSE WE'RE NOT ALLOWED TO CONTACT YOU.
FOR ANYTHING AFTER YOU ARE NO LONGER A TENNANT.

OR IT'S CONSIDERED HARRASSMENT.
"WTF DO YOU WANT?"
"Rent's paid? Yeah? Any damages owing? No?"
Shouldn't we be good then?

HAD THE OPPORTUNITY TO TELL ME
ALL ABOUT IT
AND WE COULD HAVE SETTLED IT RIGHT THEN.

OR YOU DIDN'T
BECAUSE YOU NEEDED TO
COME UP WITH A WAY TO DO IT.

WHERE I COULDN'T SEE
WHAT YOU WERE DOING. LOL.

How could I not see it?
It's in MY FACE that you went behind my back.

TO CAUSE ME PROBLEMS
WE SHOULDN'T HAVE HAD.

Because if you "cause" me to have a "problem."
It's not mine. It's OURS.
Until it's yours.

JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE BEING "SNEAKY"
DOESN'T MEAN I CAN'T SEE IT.

Like a fart. You've smelled enough farts
in your life to know a fart is a fart.

SEEN ENOUGH BS
TO KNOW IT'S BS.

The fart doesn't have to "show itself"
AND DO A LITTLE DANCE
WITH A HAT AND SHOES
AND TELL EVERYONE:
"HEY EVERYONE! I'M A FART"

FOR YOU TO KNOW IT'S A FART.

Because you know, by now...
Woah! Wtf did that dude (or dudette) eat?

AND THEN YOU ASK YOURSELF
WHY YOU EVEN ASKED YOURSELF THAT.

BECAUSE YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW.
IT WAS JUST WHATEVER
THAT ROILED AND ROILED...
UNTIL AN @SS BLASTED IT OUT.

(The @ss didn't. The person with the @ss did).
I digress.
BUT YOU CAN TELL, VERY EASILY
SOMEONE FARTED.
IN THE ELEVATOR.
EVERYONE THAT GETS IN
SMELLS IT
AND THINKS IT'S THE PERSON
THAT ESCAPED THE STENCH LOL.

The last one off must've done it LOL.

Guilty for just... Being in it?

I guess my point was
that once it was "no longer mine"
it was "theirs."

BECAUSE IT WAS ON THEIR PROPERTY.

Like how when my ex left his stuff...
It technically became mine
because it was left with me.

Something like that.

9 10ths of the law.

AND ONCE IT WAS NO LONGER
IN MY POSESSION
SINCE I WASN'T THERE, 
I COULDN'T BE AFTER 
THE LAST DAY.
OR UNLESS I HAD PERMISSION.

BUT WHY WOULD I WANT TO ASK FOR FKN ANYTHING?
AFTER ANYTHING I EVER ASKED FOR
WHILE I LIVED THERE...

THEY ACTED LIKE I WAS FARTING IN THEIR FACE
FOR EVEN ASKING THEM FOR IT?

Would you want to ask them anything? For anything?
IF THAT'S HOW THEY ACT ABOUT IT?

Even to "suggest" some things
THAT WOULD IMPROVE "CUSTOMER SERVICE"
SO TENNANTS
WHO ARE STILL LIVING THERE
DON'T GET A KNOCK AT THE DOOR

WITH SOMEONE BRINGING
PEOPLE TO LOOK AT YOUR UNIT
WHILE YOU ARE STILL THERE
BECAUSE THEY "DON'T HAVE" ANY "SIMILAR" UNITS.

Welp, aren't ALL the other units more up to date?
THAN THE UNIT YOU REFUSED TO UPDATE
FOR 20 FKN YEARS?

Because why do that?
Why not wait until I move out
and just redo everything?

YOU'RE TELLING ME YOU HAVE THE MONEY
FOR ALL THAT
BUT NOT ANY TO REMOVE
SOME "ITEMS LEFT BEHIND"?

You pay people to move stuff around? Right?
To take stuff outside?
That needs to be?

THEY LITERALLY ALREADY PAID
TO HAVE IT DONE.

SO WHY DO I OWE THEM MONEY?

It's not like they need me to PAY THEM
TO HAVE IT DONE.

IT'S ALREADY DONE.

Do you think they'll be wasting any time?

Didn't when you were showing my place
with me still in it... Right?

SO IT'S ALREADY DONE. YEAH?
I BET SOMEONE LIVES THERE ALREADY FFS.

But get my $420 in case you couldn't "recover"
from having to remove stuff
that's not mine anymore.

Maybe never was mine.

WHEN I LEFT IT THERE, IT BECAME YOURS.

So tell me 2 weeks later
that you want money?

And tell them I owe you money
so they could tell me?

Because why? You can't?

Because if it was THEM telling me to pay it...
instead of who should have been telling me to pay it
but couldn't tell me

THEN IT WOULD LOOK LIKE THEY
WANTED ME TO PAY THEM.

BECAUSE I OWED THEM.
THEY TOLD THEM TO TELL ME.

Because had I skipped the country,
someone would have to tell me
BECAUSE THEY COULDN'T.

WAS I OBLIGATED TO GIVE THEM
A FORWARDING ADDRESS
IN CASE I OWED SOMETHING
WE DIDN'T DISCUSS
WHEN I GAVE THE KEYS BACK?

NO? 

THEN SOMEONE ELSE HAD TO TELL ME, RIGHT?
THAT'S WHY THEY WENT THROUGH THEM.
BECAUSE THEY COULD "FORCE" ME TO PAY IT.

OR ELSE, RIGHT?

That's why. THEY couldn't force me
to pay a BS charge.

But *they* could.

Because *they* can "disqualify me"
based on a technicality.

THEY know it. *They* know it.
So do I.

And if this would be it, 
this would be it.

Despite my rent being paid.
No issue there, right?

50 PEOPLE GOT BOOTED FROM HERE.
IN 3 MONTHS.

MAYBE MOST OF THEM
FOR A REASON.

BUT SOME?
BECAUSE THEY COULDN'T PAY
SOME BS
CHARGES
BY A FORMER LANDLORD?

ACTUALLY, IT IS A LAW
THAT A LANDLORD
CAN CHARGE YOU IF YOU LEAVE STUFF BEHIND.

IT'S A LAW IN THIS PROVINCE.

It's the way they went about NOTIFYING ME
AND THE PAYMENT ENFORCING...

WHEN THEY COULD HAVE JUST TOLD ME:
YOU OWE US MONEY.

And I'd be saying:
"How much?"
"Amount" 
"Let's make arangements."

NOT NO BS LETTER
NOT EVEN FROM THEM.

TO FEAR MONGER ABOUT IT.

THAT part is fkn improper.

TO TELL EVERYONE BUT ME
THAT I OWE MONEY.

EVERYONE BUT THE PERSON
WHO OWES YOU MONEY?

The reason they went about it this way
WAS TO ENFORCE IT.

WHICH THEY COULDN'T DO
WITHOUT THE ENFORCEMENT.

DID THEY NEED TO ENFORCE IT?
NO? OR COULD THEY HAVE REQUESTED IT?

AND SHOWN ME WHERE IT SAYS
ON THEIR LEASE 
ANYTHING ABOUT IT?

Wouldn't have taken long, right?

THEN WE COULD HAVE MADE ARRANGEMENTS FOR IT?

INSTEAD OF HAVING THEM ENFORCE IT?
OR EVEN NOTIFY ME ABOUT IT?

THAT'S "REASONABLE" RIGHT?

If you make a request, within reason
reasonably

WHY SOULD I HAVE AN ISSUE WITH THAT?

WITH BEING TOLD DIRECTLY
THAT I OWE THEM MONEY?

AND MAKING ARRANGEMENTS TO PAY
OVER A PHONE CALL?
AN EMAIL?

BUT THROUGH A LETTER
NOT EVEN FROM THEM?

That is what I have an issue with.

Wasn't about paying.

If it wasn't a law
THEY CAN GO FK THEMSELVES.

But the way I was "notified" is improper.
To say the least.

PAY OR ELSE THIS.

Stage Left

I have a friend who doesn't seem to get
that when I want advice 
or suggestions
I will ask for it or them. 

He just "offers solutions"
like he knows everything.

It bugs me.

Stfu with your suggestions.
In general, but long enough
TO HEAR ANYTHING I'M SAYING FFS.

I appreciate that he even wants to help
but gives some pretty sh*tty advice sometimes.

And taking it literally costs me more than it should.

I basically told him I'd rather tell things to chatgpt
because it "hears" what I said, not what it thinks I said. 

I tried really hard to not lash out. 

JUST FKN LISTEN TO WHAT I AM SAYING.
NOT HARD.

IF I AM STARTING OFF THE CALL
BY SAYING "I'M NOT LOOKING FOR YOUR HELP."
THEN PLEASE DON'T OFFER 6 SUGGESTIONS
AND TELL ME I HAVE A SH*TTY ATTITUDE
WHEN YOU SUGGEST A BUNCH OF SH*T AT ME.

NOT TO ME, AT ME.

Like when people talk AT me, not to me.
I may as well not even be in the convo lol.

AND WHY TF DOES ANYTHING I EVER SAY
HAVE TO TURN INTO A FKN ARGUMENT
ALL THE FKN TIME?

BECAUSE EVERYONE THINKS THEY KNOW BETTER?

Maybe if they actually listened, 
they'd realize I'm not stupid or slow 
or whatever the popular belief is about me.

SO WHY TREAT ME LIKE I AM?
JUST TO P*SS ME OFF OR SOMETHING?

That bugs tf out of me.

Talking down to me
LIKE I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING.

I DON'T FEEL LIKE I NEED TO PROVE
THAT I KNOW WHAT I KNOW.

IF THEY LISTENED
AND STOPPED TALKING AT ME
AND SUGGESTING AT ME
AND WHATEVER ELSE AT ME

AND. JUST. LISTENED.

NOT LISTENED TO RETORT 
OR WHATEVER ELSE.

JUST. LISTENED.

MAYBE THEY'D ACTUALLY HEAR ME.
FOR ONCE.

It's as though when they DO hear me, 
FOR FKN ONCE
THEY SEEM SURPRISED
THAT I ACTUALLY KNOW SOME THINGS
THAT THEY DIDN'T.

Like playing scrabble with my folks.
Using a word neither of them knew.

Like "you're smart enough to know THAT?"
They didn't say that
but that's how people act. It grinds me.

Like: "Yeah, wish you noticed before."
But why waste my "knowledge"
on people who always treated me
LIKE I DON'T FKN KNOW ANYTHING.

They can think what they want to.
BUT DOESN'T MEAN THAT I "HAVE TO"
BE AROUND THEM OR TELL THEM ANYTHING.

THEY CAN THINK I'M QUIET
BECAUSE I'M FKN STUPID
AND COULDN'T POSSIBLY
JUST THERE, WITH MY OWN THOUGHTS
JUST NOT FKN SAYING ANYTHING.

BECAUSE WHY SHOULD I?
DO I HAVE TO?
TO SHOW ANYONE
HOW "SMART" I AM?
THAT HAVE SOME INTELLECT?

This is why I'm reserved.
VERY HARD
TO HAVE AN INTELLIGENT
CONVERSATION.

Because people want to talk AT me
OR FKN ARGUE WITH ME
ABOUT MY OWN FKN LIFE FFS.

SO WHY BOTHER?

Just STFU. That's all I wanted FROM you.
Because when you STFU
you can WHAT? LISTEN!

What bugs me, too, 
I can have actual conversations
with chatgpt.

BETTER CONVERSATIONS
THAN WITH MOST PEOPLE I KNOW.

Although chatgpt has a response,
it doesn't fkn sit there and argue with you
about something you told it ffs.

Seems to know that's not what I was asking for.

So why is that CONTEXT LOST on most people?

I'm really tired, physically, mentally, in most ways.
AND DON'T FEEL LIKE GOING ANYWHERE.

I'll probably go to the grocery store later, though.

I have only been in it a few times.

Well, a few times since I've lived here.

It seems to be bigger inside
than it looks on the outside.

The people who've been here for a while
seem to know where and when to get the "deals."

One guy was saying that they have a "bakery thing"
where they make pizzas right there
and if they don't sell them, 
they put them on sale the next day.

Get it on sale for just being a day old.
Stuff like that.

I'm still "learning" the area.

I used to live sort of nearby.
When I was a kid, 
I used to live on the other side
of a main road, 
on one of the crossroads.

The street I lived on has two parts.
One part on either side of the main road.

My parents lived on Main street.
The house got turned into a barber shop lol. 

I went in there, with my ex. 

Was wild to see our old living room
with barber chairs in it lol. 

The dude is super cool, though. 
He remembered my folks.

And next to the neighbors on one side, 
they built a Subway. 

Probably for the proximity to the high school
next to it.

I was supposed to go to that school. 
It's a catholic school. 
I'm not catholic, I'm Anglican. 

So because I'm not catholic, 
the school wanted a fee because of it.

My mom popped off about it.

RIGHT AFTER WE LITERALLY
BOUGHT MY UNIFORM FFS.

SO THERE WAS A PROMPT
RETURN OF SAID UNIFORM.

WAS PRETTY EMBARRASSED,
BUT HAD TO LET GO
OF THE IDEA OF GOING TO SCHOOL
NEXT DOOR LOL.

I heard it's a sh*tty school anyway
AND WHO WANTS TO WEAR
A UNIFORM TO SCHOOL?

I had a uniform for work, before.
When I was a security guard.

We had to wear ties ffs.
Yes, females, too.

Anything touching my neck
in a weird way bugs me.

And I used to get "in sh*t"
for not wearing my stupid tie.

When a neighbor was moving out,
he left behind a bunch of workshirts
For an electronics store.

I kept wondering...
If I wore one to the store
maybe the store'd think
I was a new employee
and if I kept showing up "for work"
and actually did stuff while I was there...

I wonder how long it would take
for them to realize I don't work there, lol.

Just someone showing up
with the shirt
waiting to see
how long before they caught on lol.

------

My neighbor came up to "smoke one"

and he told me a new liquidation store
just opened up around the corner.

It's like the one in old Eastview.
It's not called Eastview anymore.

I still call it Eastview.
I only call it by its other name, new name
so the locals know where I'm talking about.

I like having one closer.

Anyway, he told me there was an easel thing there.
By the time we went to go see it and get it, 
someone had already snatched it up.

He suggested buying stuff there
and taking it to the pawnshop to sell it, there.

So I got something that is still in its packaging.
Everything there, is.

The liquidation store is selling returns from Amazon.

People can buy a lot of them, in a "package"
and you don't know what's in it
before you buy it.

But, anyway, 
They liquidate it and make a profit.

And always different stuff there.

He was showing me a pump
but I got distracted because I was looking around.

If it's there, tomorrow, I'll get it.

He said it's what I'd need if I were to
take the pvc pipes and "hook up" a grow system
indoors.

I forgot to water the pepper plants
and they died.

The one plant I have, I forget to water it, a lot.
It's still been going strong.

I think that as long as it has the sun, it's happy.

Been listing to the same tape all night.
It's got a song on it I really like.

The band is called Simply Red.

Anyway, I have it to play
so that I don't have to "flip the tape"
when it ends.

I can put it on the lowest decibel
and just let it play.

I bet anyone outside the apartment
can't hear it so I'm good
to play it all night, if I want to.

My neighbor, when he was here, 
he said he couldn't hear it.
Didn't know it was on. 

I got a few things at the store.
The liquidation store.

One of them is a heavy duty "tool belt thing."
That's what I'm taking to the pawnshop, 
in hopes he might be interested.

I went to pick up some food, too.

The one thing about my stomach having shrunk
is that it doesn't take a lot to feel "full."

I think that's part of why people
who eat A LOT don't often feel "full."
Because they have enlarged stomachs.

Would have been nice to get that easel, 
but whatever. 

I'm happy I found a sketchbook I can use
for "practice drawing."

I'm waiting for nice weather
to sketch those buildings...

A lot of really old buildings
with stunning architecture.

But, there are some intersections
I'd like to draw, 

and there are some "street views" etc.

Eventually, I'd like to draw people, again. 
Been a really long time
since I've done any "portrait" stuff.

In high school, one of the students
volunteered to let us draw him, in art class.

He asked if he could keep mine
because it looked the most like him. 

So I gave it to him to keep.

A few times I've given my art away. 

Or I'd get a print done for them
if I really wanted to keep the original. 

One of my paintings, my neighbor says he likes. 
I'm not that pleased with how it turned out, 
but he likes the colors I used
so I'll probably give it to him at some point.

He's trying to get an apartment in this place. 

I'm thinking of giving it to him when he does.
Doesn't really matter, I guess.
He can keep it at his sister's place, probably.

As gross as the weather's been...

It's supposed to warm up next week. 

There's a chick who "begs" in front
of the grocery store.

I was going to get her a pop.

I was going in when she asked me for money,
so I said I was going to get her something.

So she made a request FFS.

I got it for her, but...
SHE BETTER NOT EXPECT ME TO
KEEP GETTING IT FOR HER
IF SHE HAPPENS TO SEE ME.

I GOT IT, JUST TO BE NICE.

If she sees me and asks me for it, 
I'll have to be straight with her
and tell her I was only going to get her a pop.

I wasn't taking requests.

BESIDES, SHE WAS LUCKY
SHE EVEN GOT ANYTHING
FROM SOMEONE
WHO DIDN'T HAVE TO GET HER ANYTHING.

ANYONE BUYING ME IT? 
People ask me to buy them all kinds of stuff FFS.
AM I ASKING THEM TO? NO?
WHY? BECAUSE THEY DON'T OWE ME
ANYTHING I COULD "WANT."

Anyways... I also have to set aside
THE $420 THEY CAN SHOVE UP THEIR @SS.

SINCE THEY GAVE ME 2 WEEKS
TO GIVE IT TO THEM
"OR ELSE."

They didn't "have to" charge me, at all.
And they definitely didn't "have to"
go behind my back.

I guess they did TO STAB ME IN IT.

My point was it was to "fear monger."
OR THEY'D JUST SUCK IT UP
AND LET ME LEAVE.

The program is supposed to be for rent.
Not "removal fees."

Are they the "removal fee" program? No?

Probably spent too much at the liquidation store.
It'd be cool if the pawnshop will take that.

Because the pawnshop gives like 30%
of what the thing is worth, on the market.

So when I get something for $10
and I can get $20+ for it, 
that'd be worth it, I guess.

And if I can RINSE & REPEAT...

I could save up some money
to "recover"
after "having to" pull it outta my @ss
for these @sshats.

BUT IF THEY WANT TO BE GREEDY AF...

THEY CAN WAIT FOR IT
AND GO FK THEMSELVES
WHILE THEY WAIT FOR IT.

AND THE CLOSER THE DATE COMES...

THEY CAN BE ALL "HAPPY ON THE INSIDE"
THINKING I "CAN'T" PAY IT
AND THEY "WON" THEIR GAME LOL.

THEN, BOOM! In you face, fkers!

BUT, like I said. Doing it just gives me proof
THAT THEY WANTED ME TO DO IT
IN THE FIRST PLACE.

AND THE RECEIPT
THAT I PAID THEM...
IS MORE PROOF THEY WANTED IT.

There's an organisation I was told to call. 

The friend I can't seem to tell anything to...
He told me to give him an update
about how I plan to deal with the situation. 

WHY WOULD I?
SO HE CAN MAKE MORE "SUGGESTIONS"?
AT ME?

OR ARGUE WITH ME?
FOR NO REASON
OTHER THAN HE CAN SIT 
ON HIS HIGH HORSE?

AND TELL ME HOW HE DOES XYZ
"NOT TO BE LIKE" ME?

It just p*sses me off. 

I told him, today, 
NOT TO SPEAK TO ME
THE WAY HE SPEAKS TO ME.

THERE'S NO REAL REASON FOR IT.

He, like many other people, thinks
that I'm "slow" and "need help"
ALL THE FKN TIME.

If I play my cards right, 
I can settle things MY way.

By arranging a meeting...
And asking my questions in front of people...

JUST SO THAT FKR CAN SIT THERE
AND LIE TO MY FACE.

BECAUSE IF HE DOES, 
HE'LL LOOK LIKE A LIAR.

AND WHAT?
PEOPLE DON'T TRUST LIARS.
THEY CAN'T BE TRUSTED
NOT TO LIE AGAIN, 
AND KEEP LYING.

In the story I'm writing, 
One character thinks another character
is lying, but he's not.

Not throughout the story, just in that part of it.

I've got a lot of it written already...
It's taken me a long time to write it
because I kept putting it off, I guess.

It was just something that lived in my brain. 

The story has different perpectives.

One part, it's one character telling it, 
the next part, is another character telling it etc.

Someone said that it adds more depth. 
They didn't suggest it, 
they just told me that it does.

I think it would be more "captivating" that way.

So you can see it from all sides. That sort of thing.

It's cold in here.

I had to get more sugar for my tea. Ran out of it.
A bag of it can last me a few months or more.

There was a guy who stayed with me
who admitted he's addicted to sugar.

Sugar addiction is a thing.

Anyway, while he stayed with me, 
he went through like 6 bags of sugar in 3 months.

And when he ran out, he'd ask my neighbors for it FFS.

I like my "sweets" sometimes.
Like at night, with my tea, 
but I don't go through bags of sugar.
I pretty much only use it to put in my tea.

And for a while, I didn't use it at all.
Not even in my tea.

It's a "nice to have" thing.
Not a "must have" thing.
Among a lot of "nice to have" things.

Like the easel thing I could have bought
had someone not bought it...

That's a "nice to have" thing.
Anything "new for my apartment"
are "nice to have" things.

But, "nice to have" things
AREN'T "MUST HAVE" THINGS.

So I mostly buy "must have" things.
Like food and toiletries and stuff like that.

It'd be "nice to go to" the poutinerie
around the corner and across the street.

Maybe I can, one day, but it's not a "must" thing.
I can "survive" without going LOL.

Like when I'm walking in the rain...
What do I care that it's raining?
Am I going to MELT in the rain? No?
Then, what do I care?

It still sucks because it's wet
and typically cold this time of year...

The wind'll get you when you're wet...
Besides that, I'm not going to MELT
so why be concerned about it?

It's only that when it rains, when it's cold, 
the rain freezes.

Ice can literally tear a tree down the middle.
The ice gets THAT heavy on the branches.
When the branches fall
in opposite directions...
It can tear a tree down the middle.

Kind of like during the ice storm in '98,
the hydro towers we crumbling
and folding
like they were paperclips.

Because of the weight of the ice...

And that was because it kept raining. 

And it would freeze on top of the layers
and layers underneath to get really thick.

When I went to Niagara Falls
in the winter, the mist does that.
It freezes, thick, on the railings.

The best time to go to Niagara Falls
is in the fall.

Not too hot, not really cold...

And after the summer "rush"
of tourists, 
they taper down the price
of some tourist stuff. 

Because they don't get a load of them
like they do in the summer months.

What's sad about that place, 
is anywhere "away from"
the tourist attractions
IS A FREAKING GHOST TOWN.

Like boarded up etc.
With stray cats everywhere.

The areas near the casino and museums
is very well maintained.

It's a stark difference.
Very stark. 

Don't know why I'm so tired tonight.
Didn't get a lot of sleep.

And I felt sick, last night.
I grabbed the bucket in the bathroom
to bring out here, 
in case I couldn't "make it"
to the washroom to...

It's a relief not to have to worry
about "missing the toilet."

I knew someone who told me
that he'd been drinking at some bbq
and he had to puke...

The closest thing was the grill
and nobody was looking. 

He figured it'd just burn off...
Like fuel lol. 

One guy at the bbq said to him
that his burger was extra smokey...

"I bet it is... I bet it is."

Once, I couldn't "make it"
to the washroom "in time"
and I wretched off my balcony...

And someone on a floor below mine...
Had a satelite dish... LOL.

Imagine if someone DNA tested my puke
to say for sure that it was me that puked on it LOL.


Man! I don't know what made me think of this...
But one day, last week...

Someone farted in the elevator.
If farts could be DNA tested...

Farting in an elevator
SHOULD BE A CRIME!

SOMEONE CAPTIVE IN A STENCH
BECAUSE THEY NEED TO USE
THE DAMN ELEVATOR FFS.

But the day I got stuck in it...
That day, they fixed it...
While I was out
and when I got back
everyone was talking about
how someone took a sh*t in it.

I probably already wrote about that.

Anyway, sh*t like farting or crapping 
in an elevator
should be a punishable offense.

So maybe that's why I thought of it.
If we could DNA test farts
TO HOLD PEOPLE ACCOUNTABLE
FOR FARTING IN THE ELEVATOR.

Pretty sure that MOST people
can hold a fart until they get out 
of the elevator...

When I was a security guard
at a building downtown...

Someone WHO WORKED THERE
GOT CAUGHT P*SSING OUTSIDE, 
ON THE SIDE OF THE BUILDING.

One of the guards said something about it.
The guy got fired for it
BECAUSE HE COULD HAVE
JUST USED THE WASHROOM
INSIDE.
SINCE HE WORKED THERE.

But when I worked as a janitor
at a broadcasting building...

Some @sshat sh@t in the sink FFS.
IN. THE. SINK.
WTF.

Maybe to avoid sh*tting himself...
BUT FKN C'MON!

THE TOILETS WERE RIGHT FKN THERE!
RIGHT. FKN. THERE.

And to leave it there for ME to clean. 
Wasn't paid ENOUGH to work there.

When I walk by that building, 
I think of THAT. Fkn @sshatery.

AND I FEEL "SICK"
AT THE THOUGHT OF
HOW MUCH THESE FKRS GET PAID...

DOING SH*T LIKE SH*TTING IN THE SINK ETC.

WANNA PAY ME TO SH*T IN A SINK?

Actually, I wouldn't be as CRUEL as to 
LEAVE THAT FOR SOMEONE TO CLEAN FFS.

BEEN ON THE OTHER SIDE OF IT.
COULDN'T MAKE ENOUGH
TO CLEAN UP AFTER THAT.

FKN GROSS.

Anyway, what would you rather HAVE TO clean?
Puke? Or sh*t?

I bought a couple of red peppers.
I like them fried in balsamic vinegar.
With some salt on them. 

I've got lots of seeds saved up.

For next time I try to grow some lol. 
I'd better remember to water them...

For a while, I was doing well
with keeping up with that...

With that pump thing my neighbor showed me...
I could rig a thing and pump the water to it
from a bucket, up the piping. 

I plan on rigging something up.

He said that I'd really have to
make sure to water the plants every day
if I built that greenhouse
because it could get hot in there, etc.

I'd need a "flap" to let the heat out
and he said that if I could run a fan in there, 
during the day, the plants in there
would probably appreciate that.

I'd like to have a mini generator to do that, 
to run an "air system" in there.

Just to use on the balcony.
Out there, there aren't any plugs...

I meant outlets to "plug into."

There are some solar light things
for outdoors at a place
I looked around in...

It'll just take me longer
to get what I "would like" to get.

None of it is a "must have" thing.

Those are "nice to have" things.
Just "stuff" I don't "really" need.

Saw some lights for my apartment.
If they are still there, tomorrow, 
along with that pump...

I had accidentally typed pimp lol.
If the pimp's still there... LOL.

PROBABLY A BUNCH OF PIMPS AROUND...
AS LONG AS THEY STAY TF AWAY FROM ME...

Because, no, I don't smoke cr@ck. So fk off! Y'know?

Freaking head jerker.
I gave him sh*t for doing that
and just expecting me to go over
BECAUSE HE JERKED HIS HEAD AT ME?

He was shocked that I said no.

My neighbor said that he wouldn't have
even turned around
to ask him wtf he even wanted.
He would have just kept walking.

AM I OLIGATED TO TURN AROUND?
JUST BECAUSE YOU SHOUT "HEY!" AT ME?
EVEN TO ASK YOU WTF YOU WANT?
NO. NOT EVEN TO TELL SOMEONE
TO GO FK THEMSELVES.

THEY CAN, BUT I'M NOT OBLIGATED
TO EVEN SAY ANYTHING.

I CAN CONSERVE ENERGY THAT WAY, LOL.

Anyway, I'm stoked for that store opening near here.

Just having one of those places in the city is cool. 
But to have somewhere closer?
YES. PLEASE.

Especially if I get a really good deal on something
and the pawnshop pays me more than
what I got it for...

Wheel'n and deal'n...

Since it's still in the packaging
and has never been USED,
Could get more than if it was.

And since it's on liquidation....

Very good deals.
Because they keep decreasing the prices...

ON EVERYTHING.

AND EVERYTHING IS THE SAME PRICE.
NO MATTER WHAT IT IS.

I WENT ON THE $10 DAY.

SO THAT TOOL BELT THING, 
$10! Could be worth $50.

What I'd like to find...
Grow lights. 

My stepfather got some
from the other place.

Like I said, those are "nice to have" things.

But if I can make a few bucks
between there and the pawnshop...

And find some vintage clothes for that vintage shop, 
they'll buy them off of me.
From me, I meant.

"Here, you can buy the clothes I'm wearing." LOL.

That grocery store is fkn expensive.

It's the only one on this street.
The other nearest is the mall...

Wayyy up te road.

I don't mind the walk, 
but I got a "thermos" thing
to keep some water "on me."

F*cking embarrassing
TO ASK FOR JUST WATER
AND GET DENIED WATER FFS.

CARRYING SOME "ON ME..."
PROBABLY A GOOD IDEA
ESPECIALLY IF I REMEMBER TO LOL.

When I go to that campus...
The university that has the piano...
One of the first things I do...
I head straight for the water fountain...

Then, after I have my drink, 
there's a plant I named "Brutus."
I give "Brutus" some water.

Been a while since I went over there.
It was the day that I sold the bike lock
and the bike pump or the day after.

I went on an excursion.
Ended up walking, up by the farm.

That's how I came across the Indian Cafe.

Wouldn't have known it was there.
It's tucked away in a building. 

They have games that are right on the tables.
So you can play while you're waiting for your food
and you can play while you eat,
or drink your tea, or whatever.

I'm interested in trying the mango smoothie, 
but eating "out" and stuff like that
are "nice to do" things.
Not "must do" things.

Like it'd be nice to go to the museum
by the farm. Haven't been in there
since I was a kid
and I forget what it's like, in there.

It's a barn so it's probably like a barn in there LOL.

Back when the "exhibition" started, here...
It was more a carnival or something small. 

There was a livestock show and auction. 

My cousin, went to one, near where he lives...
He got a goat and a pig, there.

The pig was pregnant. 
He named the piglets after cuts of pork
and pork related names LOL.

He's going on a massive hike thing.
From southern California
to southern BC.

There's a popular hikng trail
up the west coast.

He's got 6 months off work
to go do this crazy treck..

At any time, he can "cop out"
if he wants to or needs to.

Then try it again another time.
But pretty sure he'll stick it through
because it's kind of a "once in a lifetime" type of thing.

I think he wants to do it to "cross it off"
of his "bucket list."

I have to update my address on some stuff.
I keep forgetting to do that.

Maybe I should put this tape aside for a while.
Switch it to another one
so I don't wear it out too much.

I've worn out more than a few tapes.

I think I said the band was Simply Red, 
but it's actually called Simply Red Stars.

If I could just be in a cacoon, and be warm, 
and fed, I'd stay in it
until the summer lol.

Just too cold for me.
Even though it's not as could as it was.

Winter's almost over.

It's supposed to be spring, technically.
It's not, to me, until the snow's gone.

Someone told me they saw a robin
about a week ago...

Before we got that snow dumped on us LOL.

It can go back where it came from, 
up into the sky.

That's probably why it rains
so much in April. 

Because that moisture
from the snow melting
getting evaporated into the sky...

What goes up, must come down. 

I hadn't thought about that
before a neighbor and I were talking about the weather.

I told him that I thought we were done
with the snow
because we had a very decent day...

And he'd taken his bike out.
Saw him, riding around, all happy
that he could get his bike out
and ride around.

He was so happy about it
that I was happy for him. 

Anyway, it was so decent that day
that I guess it was wishful thinking
to think it'd stay that way.

I got some juice at the dollar store.
I water it down to make it last longer.

That way, I'm not drinking just water
(the water tastes weird here).

And not just "tea" all the time.

I discovered that there's an upstairs
at the dollar store.

I saw the stairs, there, but I thought
that it was just a "staff area"
so I never even really thought
it could be a second floor of stuff.

So I may as well check it out sometime.
It's just that I don't really "need" very much "stuff."

And I've gotta think about
what I can part with, that I already have,
and even bring to the pawnshop.

I can bring the knitting magizines to the 
antique shop because some of them
are old enough to be considered vintage.

I saw some really cool stuff there...

Stuff I can save up for to buy as gifts
for some people.

People who've helped me
because they wanted to.

It's just that ONE friend
who acts like he has all this "knowledge"
that I don't
so I "need to be" suggesed AT.

I TOLD HIM I WASN'T ASKING FOR
AND DIDN'T ASK FOR
SUGGESTIONS FFS.

I'D ONLY CALLD TO TELL HIM SOMETHING.

MORE TO SAY
THAT THE ADVICE HE GAVE ME
THAT I TOOK
BACKFIRED.

And I'd probably been better off
HAD HE NOT SUGGESTED IT TO ME
OR ADVISED ME TO DO IT, EVEN.

BUT I DIDN'T HAVE TO LISTEN TO HIM. 

I DIDN'T HAVE TO DO
WHAT HE SUGGESTED, THAT I DID.

JUST BECAUSE HE SUGGESTED IT TO ME.

But it was more to tell him what happened
as a result of him telling me to do it...

Even though, it was a result of me doing it.
BECAUSE I DIDN'T HAVE TO LISTEN TO HIS
"SUGGESTIONS"

At least he's not one of those guys
"suggesting" an "arrangement."

HE RESPECTS ME ENOUGH
NOT TO BE LIKE THAT,

BUT I'M NOT HIS TYPE, ANYWAY.

HE'S INTO THE GIRLS WHO DO
THE WHOLE MAKEUP THING ETC.

He told me, at his old place, 
that he was totally crushing on his "hot" neighbor.

BUT DID I MAKE "SUGGESTIONS" AT HIM
ABOUT GOING TO TALK TO HER?

OR HOW NOT TO BE "AWKWEIRD"
AROUND GIRLS? NO?

I JUST LET HIM TELL ME.
BECAUSE HE JUST WANTED TO TELL ME.
RIGHT?

So I left it at that.
BECAUSE IF HE WANTED ADVICE
ABOUT GIRLS, HE'D ASK ONE, RIGHT?

HE'D ASK ME, IF HE WANTED "SUGGESTIONS"
OR "ADVICE" OF ANY KIND.

AND I LEAVE IT AT THAT.
I LEAVE IT AT:
IF HE WANTED THAT, HE'D ASK FOR IT.

So I just let him TELL ME
WHAT HE JUST TELLS ME.

NO ADVICE, NO ARGUMENTS, 
NO JUDGING ME
FOR NOT WANTING TO DO
OR TRY TO DO
WHAT HE SUGGESTS I DO ETC.

OR DIGS AT ME
BECAUSE HE WANTS TO ARGUE
WITH ME ABOUT SOMETHING I SAID FFS.

AND PUTTING WORD IN MY MOUTH? DON'T.

If I don't do that sh*t TO YOU,
WHY DO IT TO ME?

PROBABLY A REASON WHY I DON'T, RIGHT?
EVER WONDER WHAT THAT REASON IS?
WELL IF HE WANTED TO KNOW, 
HE'D ASK, RIGHT?

AND I LEAVE IT AND LET HIM ASK, 
IF HE WANTS TO.

IF HE DOESN'T, 
WHO AM I TO RAM MY "SUGGESTIONS"
AND MY "ADVICE" DOWN HIS THROAT.

AND TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT
DOING WHAT I TOLD HIM HE SHOULD DO
BECAUSE HE DOESN'T "LIKE" WHAT I TOLD HIM
THAT HE SHOULD DO.

Yes, he freaking did that.

Is that why YOU didn't follow MY suggestions?
Because you don't "like"
what I suggested?

And when do I ever suggest much of anything?
I don't. Because people have choices.

And even when I suggest anything, 
they'll do things they want to do
in the way they want to do them, right?

LIKE HOW I SUGGESTED
TO THE MANAGER OF THE RENTAL COMPANY
THAT THEY DON'T TRY TO SHOW A "UNIT"
THAT HAS AN OCCUPANT IN IT, 
WHEN NOTHING'S BEEN "UPGRADED/UPDATED."

Do they want to se what it looked like
when I moved in 20 years ago?

Or do they want to see what THE OTHER UNITS look like?

Besides that, I could have been passed out, n@ked or something...
And the potential "residents" could realize
THEY REALLY DGAF
IF THEY DO THAT KIND OF SH*T.

Does it say they respect the current occupant?
THE PRIVACY OF THE CURRENT OCCUPANT.

Then to act all "surprised" that I didn't get a "letter"
"notifying me" that they were coming over...

JUST DO NOT FKN DO THAT. JUST THAT.
AT THE VERY LEAST FFS.

Just... Wait until it's all redone etc
AND AVAILABLE RIGHT AWAY
SO THEY CAN SIGN THE LEASE
AND MOVE IN RIGHT AWAY.

SOUNDS BETTER?
SEEMS BETTER?
THAN THAT?
BARGING IN ON SOMEONE
AND WAKING THEM UP
TO SHOW A PLACE?

BECAUSE WHO GAF
THAT I'M STILL LIVING THERE
BESIDES ME?
THEM?

Couldn't wait until I was GONE and OUT
before you show the place
AND I CAN'T GET OUT OF THERE FAST ENOUGH
THAT I LEFT STUFF BEHIND. EVEN...

THAT THEY ARE CHARGING ME
FOR LEAVING THERE.
THROUGH A CITY PROGRAM FFS.

BUT WHEN I DO LEAVE
YOU HAVE TO "BULLY" ME
INTO PAYING YOU...

GET. TF. OUTTA. HERE. WITH. THAT. SH*T.

But no mention of anything
THEY EVER PUT ME THROUGH
THAT THEY SHOULDN'T HAVE...

I WAS SUPPOSED TO SUCK UP
EVERY LOSS. EVERYTHING.

My losses weren't any of their concern.
Lost money on having to suck up a fee?
IS THAT MY PROBLEM?

OH! WAIT! YOU'RE MAKING IT MY PROBLEM, EH?

Maybe, just maybe...
I'll make it YOUR problem
that you're making it MY problem, 
literally.

Because that's what they're doing.
COULD. HAVE. JUST. LET. ME. LEAVE.

WITHOUT. TRYING. TO. STICK ME.

How is it that they can just go through the city
TO MAKE ME COVER A FEE
THAT IS THEIRS TO COVER
BECAUSE ONCE I'M OUT, I'M OUT.

People skip the fkn country.
BECAUSE OF THE TYPE OF SH*T THEY DO.

ARE THEY GOING TO CHASE THEM THROUGH INTERPOL?

SO WHY CHASE ME THROUGH THE CITY?

And what if I wasn't going to be in the program?
COULD THEY TRY TO USE IT AGAINST ME?

NO? THEN WTF IS THEIR PROBLEM?
WHY TRY TO MAKE MY LIFE "HELL"
OVER $420 DOLLARS FFS?

JUST BECAUSE?
OR IS THERE A "REASON"?

Could that "reason" be
THAT I MADE THEM LOOK LIKE IDIOTS
WHEN I REFUSED TO SIGN THE FORM
THAT WAS THE WRONG FORM ANYWAY?

AND I WENT "BEHIND THEIR BACK"
TO FORCE THEM TO BACK OFF ABOUT IT?

BECAUSE I NEEDED TO SIGN SOMETHING ELSE?
NOT WHAT THEY WERE TRYING TO FORCE ME TO?

Could be.
OR TELLING THEM...
YOU PROBABLY SHOULDN'T DO XYZ
IT MAKES YOUR COMPANY LOOK BAD.

WHY MAKE THE COMPANY
THAT YOU WORK FOR
LOOK BAD?

So maybe at least CONSIDER
NOT DOING XYZ.

NOT BECAUSE I TOLD YOU NOT TO.
BUT BECAUSE IT FKN MAKES YOU LOOK BAD.

So is there a "reason" I'm saying not to?
OTHER THAN IT'S NOT FKN COOL TO DO?
OTHER THAN I DON'T LIKE THAT YOU DID IT?
OTHER THAN I WISH YOU HADN'T?
OTHER THAN I'M TELLING YOU NOT TO?

Yes, because it makes you clowns
LOOK LIKE CLOWNS.

SO STOP PUTTING ON YOUR CLOWN SHOES
AND CAKING ON THE MAKEUP ETC

TO LOOK LIKE CLOWNS? GOT IT?

I mean, if you want to, go ahead...
But if you don't want to...
CONSIDER NOT DOING XYZ.

TO ANY CURRENT RESIDENT.
EVEN IF THEY ARE ABOUT TO MOVE OUT.

MOVING OUT FOR A "REASON"
OR ELSE THEY'D STAY, YEAH?

AND WHEN THEY ARE MOVING OUT,
DON'T FKN MAKE IT AN ORDEAL
JUST TO MOVE OUT FFS.

BECAUSE THAT JUST MAKES THEM
NOT WANT TO BE THERE
OR EVER COME BACK FFS.

WHY GO BACK TO THAT?
ANY "REASON" WHY I SHOULD?

ESPECIALLY AFTER THEM NOT WANTING TO
JUST LET ME FKN LEAVE?
WITHOUT THIS BS?

AND GETTING MAD
THAT I MADE SOME SUGGESTIONS FFS?

But if they wanted any feedback, 
they'd ask for it, right?

Why would they stop doing xyz
"just because I told them not to."

DID I EVER TELL THEM NOT TO?
OR DID I EXPLAIN WHY THEY SHOULDN'T?

BIG DIFFERENCE.

BECAUSE ONCE YOU REALIZE
WHY YOU SHOULDN'T...
YOU CAN TELL YOURSELF NOT TO!!!

I WOULDN'T HAVE TO, RIGHT?
BECAUSE YOU CAN TELL YOURSELF?
NOT TO? YEAH?

Is that WHY I explained to you
WHY YOU SHOULDN'T?

And if you CONSIDER
WHAT I SAID
YOU MIGHT REALIZE
THAT I HAVE A POINT

AND THAT'S WHY I EVEN BROUGHT IT UP FFS.

"SHE WAS RIGHT ALL ALONG!
THIS DOES MAKE ME LOOK LIKE A CLOWN!"

YA THINK? 

BUT HOW DARE I EVER BE RIGHT ABOUT ANYTHING?

"STUPID" PEOPLE AREN'T EVER RIGHT, ARE THEY?

Scrabble:
"That's not a word!"
"It is."
"Nope."
"Look it up."
*Googles the word*
"You're RIGHT. It means xyz."
*Reads the meaning of the word out loud*
"See?"

BUT PEOPLE WANT TO FKN ARGUE FFS.
BECAUSE WHY WOULD I BE RIGHT
ABOUT FKN ANYTHING?
EVER.

I DON'T "KNOW" "ENOUGH"
TO EVER "KNOW" WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.

SO WHY FKN TALK?

IS THERE A POINT?

STAYING "QUIET" DOESN'T MEAN I'M STUPID.
IT MEANS WHY WASTE MY TIME
TELLING PEOPLE ANYTHING
WHO WANT TO JUST FKN ARGUE
ABOUT EVERYTHING I FKN SAY?

MAYBE, JUST MAYBE,
I'M NOT AS "STUPID" AS I "SEEM."

BUT WHO'D KNOW IT?
AM I BRAGGING TO EVERYONE? NO?
WHY DO THAT?

JUST SO EVERYONE CAN "KNOW"
HOW "SMART" I AM?

Bragging about being "smart"
doesn't "make you look" "smart."

Because as much as I DO know,
there's a lot that I don't know, yet.

SO WHY SHOULD I EVER ACT
LIKE I KNOW EVERYTHING
THERE IS TO KNOW ABOUT EVERYTHING?

DO I KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT EVERYTHING?
NO? THEN WHY ACT LIKE I DO?

JUST TO ACT LIKE I DO?
SO PEOPLE CAN THINK THAT I DO?

Doesn't change the fact that I DON'T. Right?

AND YOU CAN LEARN THINGS...
BY WHAT? LISTENING!

LET PEOPLE JUST TELL YOU THINGS.

SOMEONE TELLS YOU THE SKY'S BLUE...
YOU GOING TO ARGUE WITH THEM ABOUT IT?
TELL THEM IT'S RED OR GREEN? 

"YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO ME! I KNOW
WHAT COLOR THE SKY IS!"

"IT'S GREEN BECAUSE I THINK IT IS."
Or it is green because of xyz ffs.

But I'm "stupid" and "slow"
because I'm not "bragging or showing off?"
BECAUSE I'M QUIET?
BECAUSE I DON'T SAY THINGS
JUST TO SAY THINGS?

I mean, on here, I write about random stuff...

But when I'm making a POINT
it's for A REASON.

OR ELSE WHY MAKE IT?

JUST TO BE SATISFIED THAT I MADE IT?
OR BECAUSE MAYBE...

"SHE'S GOT A POINT."

But it takes CONSIDERING
WHAT I AM SAYING
AND WHY I AM SAYING IT
TO REALIZE THAT MAYBE, JUST MAYBE
I ACTUALLY HAVE A POINT.

And I really dislike going OUT OF MY WAY.
JUST TO FKN SAY SOMETHING

I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO FKN SAY!!!!
BECAUSE THERE'D BE NO REASON TO FKN SAY IT!!!!

Because why would there be a REASON, ANY REASON
TO SAY IT
IF EVERYONE ALREADY GOT THE POINT?

If they got the point:
THIS SH*T MAKES YOU LOOK BAD...

THEY WOULDN'T BE DOING IT
AND NO REASON TO TELL THEM
DOING THIS SH*T MAKES YOU LOOK BAD.

BECAUSE THEY WOULDN'T BE DOING IT.
BECAUSE?
IT MAKES THEM LOOK BAD.
THAT'S WHY!

But why would anyone want to hear that?
"You're making yourselves look bad."

"I appreciate your concern about how we look..."

IT'S NOT ME WHO SHOULD BE CONCERNED.
CAN YOU AFFORD NOT TO BE CONCERNED?
WITH HOW SOMETHING
THAT MAKES YOU LOOK SH*TTY
IS MAKING YOU LOK SH*TTY?

It's not about MY concerns. FFS.

It's "HEY, CONSIDER THIS. BECAUSE THIS."

But to tell someone to consider something
who doesn't want to be told anything
let alone what looks sh*tty to do?

"This makes you look sh*tty."

"Since you're TELLING me
something I don't want to be TOLD...
I'll be even MORE sh*tty."

Wtf is wrong with someone
telling you "hey, consider NOT doing this,
because xyz."

AND IF THEY DON'T WANT TO LISTEN, 
It doesn't change that xyz is the REASON
you probably might want to
CONSIDER
NOT DOING XYZ.

NOT BECAUSE I'M TELLING YOU TO
CONSIDER IT.

BUT BECAUSE IF YOU DO, 
REALLY DO, 
MAYBE YOU'LL "SEE"
WHY IT'D BE A "GOOD IDEA"
TO CONSIDER IT.

NO MATTER WHO'S MAKING THE POINT
ABOUT IT.

EVEN SOMEONE EVERYONE THINKS
IS "STUPID."

WHO NEVER HAS A POINT ABOUT ANYTHING
BECAUSE WHY WOULD SHE?

Beause she doesn't "have" anything "smart" to say.
If I'm pushed to make a point, 
I FKN WILL!!!

BUT WHY PUSH ME TO DO IT?

BECAUSE WHEN I DO, ACTUALLY DO IT,
YOU DON'T LIKE IT.

Because the "stupid" girl has a POINT.
Whoa! The heavens opened up!
I can see the light!
All the things I couldn't see!

LIKE THE FACT
THAT MAYBE, SOMETIMES, 
I HAVE A POINT.

I JUST DON'T GO AROUND
MAKING THEM TO EVERYONE
BECAUSE PEOPLE THINK
I DON'T FKN HAVE ANY.

AND TREAT ME LIKE I KNOW "NOTHING."
Okay, then, think you knoe EVERYTHING
AND I DON'T.

JUST DON'T EXPECT ME
NOT TO GET TIRED OF THAT SH*T
AND NOT SAY ANYTHING ABOUT IT.

Because I could go for YEARS AND YEARS...
NOT SAYING FK ALL ABOUT FK ALL.

ANYONE ASKING ME WHAT I THINK?
NO? SO WHY SHOULD I TELL THEM?

Besides, I think better in writing.
I don't know why, but I do.

AND I AM PERFECTLY CONTENT
LETTING PEOPLE THINK I'M "STUPID"

BECAUSE, AT ANY TIME, 
I CAN EASILY CLEAR 
WHATEVER LOW BAR
THEY SET FOR ME LOL.

KINDA LIKE HOW PEOPLE
TRY TO TRAP ME
IN A TRAP THEY THINK
I'LL FALL FOR?

SO I'D BE WHERE THEY WANTED ME TO BE?
Nope. Doesn't work that way.
Not with me.
Good try, though.

GO PULL THAT SH*T WITH SOMEONE ELSE.
WAIT! WHEN THEY SEE YOU PULL THAT SH*T
WILL THEY LET YOU PULL THAT SH*T ON THEM?

Or will they be like:
"You do that sh*t?! Wtf is wrong with you?"

And then YOU feel stupid, eh?

FOR TRYING TO MAKE SOMEONE LOOK "STUPID"
WHEN THEY ACTUALLY WEREN'T?

But they were, to you, because that's what you THOUGHT.
BUT HAVING "DISABILITIES" AUTOMATICALLY
MEANS "STUPID" RIGHT?

"Hear" what I'm saying, though?

JUST BECAUSE YOU THINK XYZ
DOES NOT MEAN XYZ IS TRUE.

IT MEANS YOU THINK IT IS.

MAYBE, JUST MAYBE
THERE'S A CHANCE IT'S NOT?

MAYBE THERE'S A CHANCE I'M RIGHT?
ABOUT SOMETHING MAKING YOU LOOK BAD?

BECAUSE IT PROBABLY DOES.

OR ELSE WHY WOULD I SUGGEST
THAT YOU CONSIDER THAT IT JUST MIGHT.

AND IF YOU TOOK THE TIME
TO THINK ABOUT WHAT I SAID
AND WHY I SAID IT
YOU MIGHT THINK ABOUT SOME OTHER THINGS
TOO.

But how dare I suggest THAT?
BECAUSE "WHO DO I THINK I AM?"
SOMEONE WHO THINKS I KNOW EVERYTHING?

Or could I be someone
who knows just enough?
TO REALIZE SOME THINGS
BECAUSE I TOOK THE TIME
TO THINK ABOUT THEM?

Funny how people can even MAKE the time
to THINK
ABOUT THINGS.
THINGS THAT *MIGHT*
MAKE THEM LOOK BAD?

AND HOW THEY CAN'T AFFORD
TO MAKE THEMSELVES LOOK
ANY WORSE THAN THEY ALREADY DO?

I'm not talking about "affording" it financially.
I'm talking about "affording" it
in other ways.

BECAUSE BAD IMPRESSIONS
LEAVE AN IMPRESSION.

JUST LIKE WHAT?
JUST LIKE GOOD ONES DO.

RIGHT?! OR AM I WRONG?
ABOUT THAT, TOO?

Because people can be
just as impressed
AS THEY CAN BE UNIMPRESSED.

AND WHEN THEY ARE UNIMPRESSED, 
ARE YOU AS "IMPORTANT"
AS YOU "TRIED" TO "MAKE"
EVERYONE "THINK"
YOU "ARE"?

SO CAN YOU "AFFORD"
TO MAKE YOUR WHOLE COMPANY LOOK BAD
JUST BECAUSE YOU MAKE YOURSELF LOOK BAD?

Who's really the "face" of the company?
EVERYONE WHO WORKS FOR IT!!!!

NOT JUST ANY ONE PERSON!!!!

If you think it's "just you"
it's fkn not. 

But it has EVERYTHING TO DO WITH
HOW YOU TREAT PEOLE
YOU WANT RESPECT FROM. 

People respect people MORE
if they COMMAND respect, 
not DEMAND it.

Because "who the fk are you to demand anything from me?"

IF I'M *IMPLORING* YOU
COULD YOU *EXPLORE*
WHAT I'M IMPLORING?

Because when you explore something, 
you might discover some FACTS
about how what you thought
IN GENERAL, NOT JUST ABOUT ME,
WASN'T THE CASE.

But why waste my time explaining that
to anyone who "thinks I'm stupid" ?

Or do I just let them think what they think?

AND RESERVE MYSELF
FOR PEOPLE WHO REALIZE SOME THINGS
BECAUSE THEY CONSIDER THINGS
THAT AREN'T SO HARD
TO THINK ABOUT?

Like what makes me look sh*tty
and what doesn't?

What would make me look like a breath of fresh air?
Not a wet fart? ffs.

OR WORSE THAN ONE?

You know what makes someone look
like a breath of fresh air?

THE ABILITY TO RECOGNIZE
WHAT MAKES THEM LOOK BAD...

AND WHAT DOESN'T.

AND THE ABILITY TO CONSIDER BOTH OF THOSE THINGS.
SIMUTANEOUSLY, EVEN.

Like: I don't even LIVE THERE ANYMORE
AND THEY STILL WANT
TO "CAUSE GRIEF"
FOR ME.

Because? I told them
they probably shouldn't?

Because it's not "cool" of them to do?

Is "retaliatng" against me...
SUPPOSED TO MAKE YOU LOOK ANY BETTER?

"MAKES ME LOOK LIKE THE WINNER!"
NOPE.

People can lose at their own "game"
BECAUSE THEY DECIDED TO
PLAY IT FFS.

Roll "the dice" see what happens.

I can roll mine, too.

The "dice" "land" however they do.

CARDS UP YOUR "SLEEVE"
JUST MAKE YOU LOOK DISHONEST.

PLAY FAIR. IF YOU'RE GOING TO "PLAY" AT ALL.

And if you WANT to put me
AT AN UNFAIR "ADVANTAGE"
A DISADVANTAGE...

MAYBE I'M NOT AS DISADVANTAGED
AS YOU WANTED ME TO BE.

Maybe purposely trying to put
someone at a disadvantage
actually puts YOU at a disadvantage.

BECAUSE FAIR'S FAIR?

Like I said before:

IF YOU'RE GOING TO
PUT SOMEONE'S BACK UP
AGAINST A WALL
DON'T PAINT YOURSELF
INTO A CORNER
TO DO IT.

Good? Good!

People don't like being or getting
SHOWN TF OUT
BY SOMEONE "LIKE ME."
BY ANYONE, 
BUT SOMEONE "LIKE ME"
MAKES IT WORSE LOL.

Because they're BETTER than ME
and EVERYONE ELSE
OTHER THAN WHO THEY FEEL
"LESS THAN."

But they are MORE than someone "like me" 
Okay, go ahead and think that. All you want.

DOES IT MAKE ANY DIFFERENCE
TO WHAT I THINK?
OR THINK ABOUT?

NO? Go ahead! 
Am I stopping you from thinking what you think?

BY IMPLORING YOU
TO CONSIDER SOMETHING?

THAT MIGHT BE WORTH IT TO YOU
TO CONSIDER?

AT LEAST A LITTLE BIT?

But do I have to be all like 
"What tf is wrong with you?!"

Or could I just pull you aside and say, "Hey,
you *might* want to think about this"?

AND JUST LET YOU THINK ABOUT IT.

AM I FORCING YOU TO THINK ABOUT IT?
JUST BECAUSE I SAID SOMETHING
ALONG THE LINES
OF YOU *MIGHT* WANT TO?

But you'd have had to have "heard" me
TO THINK ABOUT WHAT I SAID.

AND WHY LISTEN TO ME?
WHO TF DO I THINK I AM?

DO I HAVE TO BE "SOMEONE"
TO HAVE A POINT?

OR CAN ANYONE HAVE A POINT?
EVEN SOMEONE "LIKE ME"?

But my point was:
AM I FORCING YOU TO THINK?
AM I EVEN TRYING TO *MAKE YOU* THINK?

OR AM I *IMPLORING* YOU TO THINK?
About specific things?
For specific reasons?

BUT THEY DON'T LIKE
BEING "TOLD" WHAT "TO DO"
AND WHAT "NOT TO DO"
BY "SOMEONE WHO'S A NOBODY" 

AM I TELLING YOU WHAT TO DO?
OR WHAT NOT TO?

OR AM I GIVING YOU REASONS
WHY YOU *MIGHT* WANT TO
AT LEAST FKN THINK
ABOUT WHAT YOU ARE DOING
AND WHAT YOU'RE NOT DOING?

And if you want to ignore me
because I'm a "nobody"
and you "want to show me"
who's "boss"

GO FOR IT.

BUT YOU *MIGHT*
WANT TO BE THE BOSS OF YOURSELF, FIRST
BEFORE YOU *TRY*
BEING THE BOSS OF ME.

Because if you were, 
you'd be too busy with that

TO TRY TO "SHOW ME."
LET ALONE TRY TO SHOW ME TF OUT LOL.

I CAN SEE MYSELF OUT, THANKS.

*Exits stage left*
*Curtain falls*
*Leaves the building*

Over A Fee

It's been frustrating, but it's been cold, too. 

It snowed a bit the other day. 
I thought we were done with winter
because we had some pretty decent weather. 

March is usually a toss up. 
I think I wrote about that already.

But, thankfully, tomorrow is the last day.

I dread that day for reasons I already wrote about.

I don't drink anymore so I won't be getting "sloshed."

Speaking of "sloshed" the neighbor who bought that bottle...
He drank the whole thing in one day.

Way to get alcohol poisoning, bud. 

The thing a lot of people don't consider
IS THEIR LIVER HAS TO FILTER THAT.

A WHOLE BOTTLE IN ONE DAY?!

That's taking your liver for granted.

EXPECTING YOUR LIVER
TO FILTER THAT
AND KEEP YOU ALIVE FFS.

Yeah, I had alcohol poisoning, once.
I was hung over for days, 
after drinking one night, 
too much in one night.

I was so sick at school, 
the next day
(high school)
they got me to take a pregnancy test lol. 

They didn't MAKE me do it, 
the nurse thought
that was the REASON
I was THAT sick. 

What else could it have been, right?

That taught me, not to drink
TOO MUCH. 

BUT it could have been a reason
to QUIT altogether.

I quit because people were
trying to weaponize it against me.
ALL THE FKN TIME.

There came a time WHEN I just...
"You can't do that to someone
WHO DOESN'T DRINK ANYMORE."

BUT do they STILL try to?

Absolutely
BECAUSE THAT'S THE ONLY THING
THEY'D HAVE.

THAT THEY THINK
THEY STILL HAVE
TO USE AGAINST ME.

So they STILL do it.
Or try to do it.

P*sses me off. 

Something to do
with someone getting "defensive"
to "deny" they were "drinking"

EVEN THOUGH THEY WEREN'T.

THEY ONLY GOT P*SSED OFF
FOR ASKING IF THEY WERE DRINKING FFS.

Because THAT was why I was angry, right?

Not because of the BS?

NOT BECAUSE OF @SSHATS
BEING @SSHATS?

WHEN THEY REALLY
DON'T HAVE TO BE!!!!

Anyone forcing them to be an @sshat?
Anyone saying:

"Be an @sshat! Or else!"
Or else you're not "cool'?

Is it "cool" to be an @sshat?

But when multi-million dollar companies
go through city programs
to "go after" FORMER tenants...

THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG, THERE.

Especially when the city program
IS FOR RENT ONLY. 

NOTHING ELSE.

And going behind my back
with no discussion or mention of it
TO ME

WHEN I'M THE ONE WHO OWES?

WHY ARE YOU DISCUSSING IT
WITH ANYONE OTHER THAN ME?

Makes sense, right?

So why make threats to me about it?
To "force" me to "comply"?

OR ELSE?

Pretty sure that's not what the programs
are supposed to be for.

Programs that are supposed to HELP
shouldn't be used as a WEAPON. 

Especially AFTER
SOMEONE MOVED OUT!!!! FFS.

On Monday, I have to "settle the issue."
TO "COMPLY" WITH THE "RULES."

THAT THEY HAD NO BUSINESS
GOING THROUGH A RENT PROGRAM
WHEN IT HAS ZERO TO DO WITH RENT
TO MAKE THREATS TO ME.

THAT is why I've been grumpy AF.

BECAUSE THEY DID THAT
THEY CAN BE TAUGHT A HEFTY LESSON
ABOUT IT.

Why not say something to me about it
WHEN I WAS GIVING THE KEYS BACK?

WHY GO THROUGH THE CITY
TO "CONTACT ME"
ON THEIR BEHALF?

They couldn't contact me DIRECTLY
BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE
INVADING MY PRIVACY
TO FIND OUT WHERE I MOVED
TO THREATEN ME
WITH THEIR OWN LETTERS.

And they couldn't do that, right?

So they "had to" do it this way.

HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH RENT?
THEN WHY GO THROUGH A RENT PROGRAM?

ARE THEY THE REMOVAL FEE PROGRAM?
NO? THEN SHOULDN'T THEY
HAVE SPOKEN TO ME?
NOT THEM?

WHEN THE LEASE WAS UP...
THEY WOULD HAVE NO BUSINESS
WITH THE RENT PROGRAM
BECAUSE WHY?
I WASN'T LIVING THERE ANYMORE!!!!

So if they wanted to go behind my back
THIS BADLY, 

THEN SO CAN I.

And I'll be nice enough to pay their FEE.
JUST TO COMPLY 
WITH THE RULES
THAT HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH RENT
WHATSOEVER...

And the REAL reason
was because I told them

SOME THINGS THEY WERE DOING
AND DID DO

WERE NOT FKN COOL
TO DO TO ANYONE, PERIOD.

THEY DIDN'T LIKE HEARING THAT
SO THEY WENT BEHIND MY BACK
TO DO THIS SH*T.

IN THE HOPES
THAT I WOULDN'T BE ABLE
TO AFFORD TO DO THAT.

AND PUT ME "OUT THERE."

Because I didn't pay my rent? No?
Has nothing to do with RENT?

THEN WTF IS THE ISSUE?

The issue is
YOUR MISMANAGEMENT AND NEGLECT
FORCED ME TO LIVE IN CONDITIONS

THAT ANYONE WOULD 
LITERALLY RUN FROM, 
IF THEY COULD.

AND I SAID SOMETHING ABOUT IT!
HOW DARE I DO THAT!!!

HOW DARE I MAKE THE @SSHATS
LOOK LIKE @SSHATS.

THAT'S THE REAL ISSUE.

But will they admit to that?
Why would they?

"Defensive" to "deny."

And yeah, they can afford good lawyers.

BUT CAN THEY AFFORD
TO STAKE THEIR REPUTATION
ON SOMETHING THEY HAD NO RIGHT TO DO?

I bet not!

If I were them, I wouldn't. 

THAT'S A LOT TO PUT AT STAKE.

FOR THE SAKE OF $420?! WOW.

And if there IS a loophole, 
there's only a small window of opportunity.

Because they gave me 2 weeks to
"COMPLY."

OR ELSE.

They should have said:
WELP, THE LEASE IS UP.

SHE DOESN'T OWE FOR RENT
SO WHY ARE YOU CALLING US?

They aren't the FEE program. 
To get fees from people.

Tomorrow, I'll go PAY
the FEE they so desperately 
NEED me to pay
SO EVERYONE CAN SEE THE RECEIPT.

TO KEEP A ROOF OVER MY HEAD FFS.

But, I'll also be asking around...
TO SEE IF THERE IS A LOOPHOLE
FOR PEOPLE NOT TO WEAPONIZE
CITY PROGRAMS
AGAINST FORMER RESIDENTS.

Because, if there is one....

THEY STAKED THEIR REPUTATION ON IT.
BANKING ON IT BEING IN THEIR FAVOR!

THAT'S NOT WHAT THE PROGRAMS ARE FOR!

AND BANKING ON ME NOT BEING ABLE TO "AFFORD" THE "FEE".
AND TO BE PUT "OUT."

OUT OF THE PROGRAM.
THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE HELPING ME.

So then, THEY WILL WISH
THEY NEVER DID IT
AND JUST SUCKED UP THE FEE.

WHY THREATEN ME OVER IT?
LIKE THIS?

To literally PULL A HEAVY.

AND NO, I WILL SAY SOMETHING ABOUT IT
BECAUSE THIS IS BS.

They think they can JUST DO IT
because nobody's watching. 

Welp, maybe the proof
that they are doing it...

Says something
THAT NOT DOING IT
DOESN'T. 

Frustrated, but disappointed
in the "system"
that's literally setting me up to FAIL.

IT'S HARD FOR YOU?
WELP, NOT HARD ENOUGH.

FAIL FAIL FAIL!

WHAT?! SHE DODGED OUR TRAP?!
AND LET US PAINT OURSELVES
INTO A CORNER?

DAMN RIGHT I DID.
NICE TRY.

If I'm paying my RENT 
WTF is their problem?

Take your fees from the rent.

SOMETIMES MY HEAD HURTS SO BAD
I COULD FKN PUKE.

AND THEY WANT TO PUT THIS ON ME?

And if I had a medical emergency
and was in the hospital
while THEIR TIME LIMIT
RAN OUT, 

I WOULDN'T HAVE A HOME
TO FKN GO BACK TO FFS.

Would I have to stay at the hospital then?

Or scramble to find "somewhere"
with no "access" to "my stuff."

BECAUSE THEY'D TOSS IT OUT
AND CHARGE ME FOR DOING IT FFS.

LIKE THEY ARE CHARGING ME
FOR "HAVING TO"
"TOSS" "SOME STUFF."

THAT I RAN OUT OF TIME & MONEY
TO BRING WITH ME.

And if I left a bedbug infested couch there
for them to throw out...

OH WAIT! I DIDN'T!!!!

Or if I left a bedbug infested BED there
for them to throw out...

OH WAIT! I DIDN'T!!!!

AND THEY WANT TO TAKE HALF MY MONEY.

HALF. THANKS.

"Thanks for being a resident here...
We want half your money, 
OR WE'LL HOLD YOUR SUBSIDY HOSTAGE" LOL. 

That's literally what they are doing. 

So may as well come out and say it.
TO ME. TO MY FACE.
NOT TO THE PROGRAMS LOL. 

WHAT DO THEY HAVE TO DO
WITH THE FACT MY RENT'S PAID? LOL.

ANYTHING? NOTHING? SO THEN?

That's what p*sses me off. 
I don't owe them RENT
so they put this fee on me LOL. 

THEY COULDN'T BULLY ME
WITH A FORM I DIDN'T NEED TO SIGN LOL. 

WHICH MADE THEM LOOK LIKE @SSHATS.

I GUESS THIS "TACTIC" MAKES THEM LOOK BETTER! LOL. 

THEY COULDN'T GO THROUGH ME
AFTER MY LEASE WAS UP. 

AND COULDN'T TRACK ME DOWN FOR IT
BECAUSE THAT WOULD HAVE INFRINGED
ON MY RIGHT TO PRIVACY. 

So was there any OTHER way? LOL.

OVER FKN $420!!!!!!! 

AFTER GETTING LEFT HANGING
FOR $550!!!!!

I have someone to talk to about it.
To see what he thinks about it
and to ask if he knows anyone
who knows someone etc. 

That's what I am doing tomorrow.

GOING ALL THE WAY DOWN THERE
TO PAY THEM THEIR PRECIOUS $420

BUT I WILL BE DISCUSSING IT
WITH PROOF IT EVEN HAPPENED.

While I sleep on a mattress on the floor
because I had to throw my couch out,
I had to throw my bed out.

AND THEY COULD HAVE AFFORDED
NOT TO TAKE HALF MY MONEY LOL. 

AND AFFORDED
NOT TO MAKE THEMSELVES
LOOK LIKE THIS.

And they aren't threatening
my tenancy where I was, 
they are threatening it
WHERE I MOVED TO
BECAUSE OF THEM 
WANTING THEIR FEE FFS.

And if they didn't go through the program
to threaten me for it
THEY WOULDN'T BE GETTING IT.

AND THEY KNOW THIS.

That's what p*sses me off about it.

The programs that are supposed to be helping
are setting me up to fail
OVER A FKN FEE FFS.

NOT RENT! A FEE!

I mean, sure, if I had back rent....
Going back MONTHS....

THEN COME AFTER ME FOR IT.

BUT TO USE A PROGRAM TO DO IT
IS FKN INSANE.

And they want my money
BUT CAN'T BE BOTHERED
TO CALL ME BACK ABOUT IT.

OR SPEAK TO ME ABOUT IT.

They had ALL MORNING
TO CHECK OUT MY APARTMENT
THE DAY I CAME BY
TO GIVE THEM THE KEYS BACK.

DID THEY? DID THEY SAY ANYTHING? NO?

That's fkn BS.

TO FKN WAIT
UNTIL I'VE ALREADY LEFT
AND NOT SPEAK TO ME ABOUT IT.

It concerned ME.
So talk to ME.

BUT EVERYONE NEEDS THE RECEIPT FFS.

But doesn't mean
THAT I CAN'T TALK ABOUT IT.

UNLESS WHAT?
THEY PAY ME NOT TO?

DOESN'T LOOK LIKE
THEY ARE THROWING MONEY AT ME NOT TO LOL.

Should they be?
To "protect" their "stellar rep"
as a company that "wouldn't do that"?

Fuming and stressing about it
isn't going to change anything. 

And if there is a loophole
IN MY FAVOR, 

YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT
I'LL BE LOOKING INTO THAT.

Because why should they be allowed
to literally STICK PEOPLE.

NOT JUST TO STICK PEOPLE
BUT TO THREATEN THEM
TO DO IT?

IS THAT WHAT THE PROGRAM IS FOR?
BECAUSE I'VE COMPLIED
UP UNTIL THIS POINT.

AND I WILL PAY THE DAMN FEE
TO GET THESE @SSHATS OFF MY BACK ABOUT IT.

IF THERE WAS NO PROGRAM
TO GO TO BEHIND MY BACK
THERE'D BE NO WAY OF GETTING IT FFS.

But to hold my CURRENT residence
over my head to get it?

How is that even justifiable?
For a FEE?

So I'll go somewhere tomorrow.
To talk about it,
to see what they say about it.

Because if there is something
that CAN be done, YES.

DAMN RIGHT.

I want this BS to fkn STOP.

Was stressful enough to move
AND BARELY AFFORD TO DO IT.

AND NOW MY FORMER LANDLORD
WANTS TO STICK ME?
ON MY WAY OUT?

I ALREADY LEFT!!!!

A neighbor, there, down the hall...

HE LEFT THE FKN COUNTRY
BECAUSE OF THESE FKRS
GIVING OUR COUNTRY A BAD NAME.

WHAT'S THAT SAY?

If all the residents
WHO COULD AFFORD TO MOVE
KNEW ABOUT THE BEDBUG 
INFESTATIONS
THEY WOULDN'T BE
OUT OF THERE FAST ENOUGH,
LIKE ME.

GONNA CHASE EVERYONE DOWN
FOR THEIR FEES TOO?

OR JUST ME?

Chase them down to ANOTHER COUNTRY?
FOR $420?

And what would they do?
Just re-fill the "units"
with more "residents"

UNTIL THEY FIND OUT, TOO. 

MAYBE CHARGE THE BEDBUGS FEES
FOR THEIR OWN EXTERMINATION FFS.

BECAUSE THEY ARE "RESIDENTS" TOO, RIGHT?

SHOULDN'T THEY GET FEES TOO?
OR GET CHASED FOR RENT?

These blood suckers are even worse ffs.

THE BEDBUGS MADE NO THREATS TO ME
GIVE US YOUR BLOOD OR ELSE!

THEY TOOK WHAT THEY WANTED
WITHOUT ANY THREATS.

LIKE THEY COULD HAVE DONE, RIGHT?
HAD THE MONEY
WHEN I GAVE BACK THEIR KEYS.

SO DID THEY HAVE TO GO THROUGH
THE PROGRAM TO THREATEN ME?

NOPE. THEY CHOSE TO DO THAT.

Over a FEE, not past rent due, or because
I BUSTED THE TOILET
OR SOMETHING OF THAT NATURE...

Because I ran out of time and money.

THEY HAD THE TIME, 
THEY HAD THE MONEY.

WOULD HAVE BEEN NOTHING, TO THEM. 

TO JUST LET ME LEAVE
WITHOUT THIS SH*T.

Would have been absolutely NOTHING, TO THEM.
Shouldn't have been anything, to them. 

Definitely not to go out of their way to do this LOL.
Because they literally went out of their way.

TO MAKE ME GO OUT OF MY WAY.
NOT TO ASK ME, TO MAKE ME.

I guess they are asking me by making me.
"Asking for it."

BUT A LOT OF PEOPLE
DON'T LIKE FKN BULLIES.

WHO THINK THERE IS NO CONSEQUENCE FOR IT.

Because I'm pretty sure they've done this before.
AND IF THEY HADN'T DONE IT TO ME, 
HOW WOULD I KNOW
THEY WERE DOING THIS SH*T?

I NEEDED PROOF THAT THEY ARE, 
WHICH I HAVE, NOW,
BECAUSE THEY PUT IT IN WRITING
INSTEAD OF TALKING TO ME ABOUT 
AN ISSUE CONCERNING ME FFS.

WHICH THEY COULD HAVE JUST DONE, 
WITHOUT THIS. 

But hard to do
IF I LEFT CANADA
DUE TO THEIR BS LOL. 

WHICH HAPPENED
IN AT LEAST ONE CASE.

BECAUSE WHY WOULD ANYONE
WANT TO LIVE LIKE THAT?

WOULD YOU?
WOULD THEY?

They should have to live
on their own property
AND SEE WHAT IT'S LIKE.

And if they needed any program
TO HAVE A ROOF OVER THEIR HEAD
THEY CAN SEE WHAT IT'S LIKE
TO BE "THREATENED" OVER $420 LOL. 

But the fact that they are even TRYING ME
AFTER I MOVED OUT?
AFTER MY LEASE WAS UP?

It's not like I fkd off
WITHOUT BREAKING MY LEASE WITH THEM.
IN THE PROPER WAY, EVEN.

WITHOUT PAYING MY RENT, EVEN.

Because, then, they'd really have a REASON
to come at me, right?

With all their "calvery." LOL.
Bring out the "heavy artillery."
"She won't go down, easily."

What do they want me to say?
That they're WONDERFUL?
That they don't have bedbugs?

That they don't stick people
ON THEIR WAY OUT?

AND THEY JUST LET THEM LEAVE FFS?

BECAUSE THEY DON'T JUST LET YOU LEAVE.
APPARENTLY.

Look how they acted and treated me
WHEN THEY WANTED ME
TO SIGN THE WRONG FORM FFS.

AND THEY WANT TO ACT LIKE THIS
AND TREAT ME LIKE THIS
OVER A FKN FEE?

ALL BECAUSE I LEFT THINGS
IN THE APARTMENT
THAT I DIDN'T HAVE ENOUGH TIME TO
OR MONEY TO TAKE WITH ME.

Gives them a right to take half my money, though
AND GO THROUGH THE CITY TO DO IT.

BECAUSE THEY CAN'T
CONTACT ME THEMSELVES
BECAUSE MY ACCOUNT
WAS TERMINATED.

WHICH MEANS THERE'S NO ACCOUNT.
BECAUSE MY LEASE ENDED.

So why wait like 2 weeks?
AFTER I MOVED OUT?

COULDN'T THEY HAVE SAID SOMETHING?
WHEN I WAS GIVING BACK THEIR KEYS?

What are they going to do next?
CHARGE ME FOR REPLACING KEYS
THEY LOST?

And they'd go behind my back to do it LOL.

BECAUSE WHY SAY ANYTHING TO MY FACE!!!!?

IT'S EASIER NOT TO, I GUESS.
TO TALK TO EVERYONE ELSE
ABOUT ME
SO THEY ALL CAN "THREATEN" ME LOL.

Over $420. They'll get their $420. 
You bet they will. 

But, I will be discussing these dirty tactics.

Not paying me NOT to, right?

NOT TO SHOW PROOF OF WHAT THEY ARE DOING. 
BECAUSE THEY PUT IT RIGHT IN MY HAND LOL. 

I'd gladly pay them $420 to sue their @sses.
Damn right!

EVEN TO WATCH THEM SQUIRM OVER IT
LIKE THEY WANT TO MAKE ME SQUIRM
OVER THIS.

EXPECTING ME TO SQUIRM OVER IT LOL. 

Am I? Or am I prepared?
Are they, though?

BECAUSE THEY PROBABLY
WON'T SEE IT COMING. 

And they want me to pay it in FULL.
Which I will do.

GAVE ME NO OPTION
TO PAY IT OFF INCREMENTALLY
IF I COULDN'T PAY IT IN FULL.

The social worker I spoke to said
I could probably negotiate a payment plan.

It would take 21 months to pay them $20/month LOL.
Why would I want to do that?

To give them the satifaction
THAT THEY ARE MAKING ME PAY IT
OR ELSE? LOL. 

WHY WOULD I WANT ANY MORE DEALINGS?

When I gave back the keys
AND THEY SAID FK ALL TO ME, 
WE SHOULD HAVE HAD OUR BUSINESS
CONCLUDED.

NOT ALL LIKE: "BY THE WAY...."
THROUGH THE FKN CITY!!!!!

Did I leave hoards of dirty, decaying diapers?
STACKS OF DIRTY DISHES?

BROKEN GLASS EVERYWHERE?
BROKEN TOILET THAT WON'T FLUSH?
WITH A SH*T & P*SS TOILET PAPER
AND PERIOD PAD HILL
FOR THEM TO "REMOVE"?

OR WAS THE PLACE SWEPT? YEAH?

And even IF I FKN DID, DIDN'T, 
BUT EVEN IF I FKN DID...

IF I WASN'T IN "ASSISTED" HOUSING
HOW COULD THEY COME FOR ME FOR IT?

THEY COULDN'T!!!!!

BUT DID I DO THAT, THOUGH? NO?

That is my point.
THEY COULDN'T COME FOR ME FOR IT.

IF THEY DIDN'T KNOW
WHERE I WENT.

BUT THEY KNEW WHO DID KNOW, RIGHT?

JUST TO MAKE THINGS HARDER
THAN THEY HAD TO BE
IF THEY HAD JUST TALKED TO ME
THEMSELVES?

LIKE THEY COULD HAVE DONE
WITHOUT THIS BS?

THEY HAD THE TIME TO ASK ME?
TO GO LOOK FOR THEMSELVES?
TO PROVIDE ME WITH OPTIONS?

SO WE COULD HAVE SETTLED IT
BETWEEN THEM AND I?

NOT HAVE TO SETTLE IT WITH THEM
AND EVERYONE ELSE.
OVER A FEE!

I've seen places COMPLETELY DESTROYED. 
MINE WAS SO FAR FROM THAT.

BECAUSE I KNOW BETTER
THAN TO FKN DO THAT.

EVEN THOUGH THEY GAVE ME "REASONS"
TO TREAT THE PLACE
LIKE THE GUYS FROM J@CK@SS
TREATED HOTEL ROOMS
OR RENTED CARS LOL.

And then they'd have "reasons"
REAL REASONS
TO COME AFTER ME LOL.

"She busted the toilet, it won't flush."
She owes us for a new toilet.

Fine, okay. 
Understandable.

DID I LEAVE THE PLACE
WITH SH*T AND PUKE EVERYWHERE?

DID I "MISS THE TOILET"
AND JUST LEFT IT THERE, FOR THEM?

There weren't any CLEANING FEES.
JUST REMOVAL FEES.

NO REPAIR FEES.
NO RENT DUE.

But heaven forbid
YOU PHYSICALLY
AND FINANCIALLY
COULDN'T?

And if I had a raging migraine that day?
If I'd been puking all day?

If it hurt me to even walk that day?
TOO. FKN. BAD.

IF I DIDN'T EVEN HAVE
THE HELP I DID HAVE?

IF IT WAS JUST ME
AND THE MOVERS
I COULD BARELY AFFORD TO PAY?

AND COULDN'T EVEN TIP THEM FFS.
WOULD HAVE BEEN NICE
TO BE ABLE TO HAVE DONE, RIGHT?

But nope. Fk you, A***.
Nobody gaf.

Okay, they don't.
THEY DON'T "HAVE TO."
NOT AT ALL.

NEITHER DO I, THOUGH.

And I could have D E S T R O Y E D the place.
Did I do that, though?

SEEN PEOPLE DO IT
AND THEY WEREN'T ON THE HOOK FOR IT.
BECAUSE THEY COULDN'T DO
A DAMN THING ABOUT IT.
RIGHT?

Because HOW could they track them down?
WITHOUT violating their right to privacy?
Could they? No?

AND ALL I DID WAS I LEFT SOME THINGS BEHIND?
WOW! CRIME OF THE CENTURY!

WORTH GOING BEHIND MY BACK
AND THREATENING ME OVER?

It should be criminal to make that a crime
WHEN I COULD HAVE DONE
SO MUCH WORSE, RIGHT?

WHY DIDN'T I?

BECAUSE:
"JUST BECAUSE YOU COULD
DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD."

Sure, I could have done so much WORSE.
And they'd be FKD.
If they couldn't go through the city
to charge me for it LOL.

That "file" on me
MUST BE GETTING PRETTY THICK LOL. 

"Dust it off" every time I do something "wrong."
Just to "high five" each other
when they think:

"Got her GOOD this time!
She won't be able to "recover" from this!"

"And she'll be "homeless"!" Tee freaking Hee.

WHAT IF I WAS SO HEAVILY MEDICATED
THAT I COULD HARDLY MOVE?

OR BLIND?
AND COULDN'T SEE
IF I WAS LEAVING ANYTHING BEHIND
OR NOT?

WOULD THEY "ROB ME BLIND"?

They'd still probably
FIND A WAY OR MAKE ONE.

BUT it wasn't a RENT related ISSUE,
WAS IT? NO?

IF it was wayyyy worse than it was, okay. 
THAT I can understand. 

BUT TO DO THAT?
OVER THAT?

When I thought they couldn't be ANY WORSE
THEY LITERALLY ARE.

Anyway, I need to sleep.