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Tuesday, April 01, 2025

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I have a friend who doesn't seem to get
that when I want advice 
or suggestions
I will ask for it or them. 

He just "offers solutions"
like he knows everything.

It bugs me.

Stfu with your suggestions.
In general, but long enough
TO HEAR ANYTHING I'M SAYING FFS.

I appreciate that he even wants to help
but gives some pretty sh*tty advice sometimes.

And taking it literally costs me more than it should.

I basically told him I'd rather tell things to chatgpt
because it "hears" what I said, not what it thinks I said. 

I tried really hard to not lash out. 

JUST FKN LISTEN TO WHAT I AM SAYING.
NOT HARD.

IF I AM STARTING OFF THE CALL
BY SAYING "I'M NOT LOOKING FOR YOUR HELP."
THEN PLEASE DON'T OFFER 6 SUGGESTIONS
AND TELL ME I HAVE A SH*TTY ATTITUDE
WHEN YOU SUGGEST A BUNCH OF SH*T AT ME.

NOT TO ME, AT ME.

Like when people talk AT me, not to me.
I may as well not even be in the convo lol.

AND WHY TF DOES ANYTHING I EVER SAY
HAVE TO TURN INTO A FKN ARGUMENT
ALL THE FKN TIME?

BECAUSE EVERYONE THINKS THEY KNOW BETTER?

Maybe if they actually listened, 
they'd realize I'm not stupid or slow 
or whatever the popular belief is about me.

SO WHY TREAT ME LIKE I AM?
JUST TO P*SS ME OFF OR SOMETHING?

That bugs tf out of me.

Talking down to me
LIKE I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING.

I DON'T FEEL LIKE I NEED TO PROVE
THAT I KNOW WHAT I KNOW.

IF THEY LISTENED
AND STOPPED TALKING AT ME
AND SUGGESTING AT ME
AND WHATEVER ELSE AT ME

AND. JUST. LISTENED.

NOT LISTENED TO RETORT 
OR WHATEVER ELSE.

JUST. LISTENED.

MAYBE THEY'D ACTUALLY HEAR ME.
FOR ONCE.

It's as though when they DO hear me, 
FOR FKN ONCE
THEY SEEM SURPRISED
THAT I ACTUALLY KNOW SOME THINGS
THAT THEY DIDN'T.

Like playing scrabble with my folks.
Using a word neither of them knew.

Like "you're smart enough to know THAT?"
They didn't say that
but that's how people act. It grinds me.

Like: "Yeah, wish you noticed before."
But why waste my "knowledge"
on people who always treated me
LIKE I DON'T FKN KNOW ANYTHING.

They can think what they want to.
BUT DOESN'T MEAN THAT I "HAVE TO"
BE AROUND THEM OR TELL THEM ANYTHING.

THEY CAN THINK I'M QUIET
BECAUSE I'M FKN STUPID
AND COULDN'T POSSIBLY
JUST THERE, WITH MY OWN THOUGHTS
JUST NOT FKN SAYING ANYTHING.

BECAUSE WHY SHOULD I?
DO I HAVE TO?
TO SHOW ANYONE
HOW "SMART" I AM?
THAT HAVE SOME INTELLECT?

This is why I'm reserved.
VERY HARD
TO HAVE AN INTELLIGENT
CONVERSATION.

Because people want to talk AT me
OR FKN ARGUE WITH ME
ABOUT MY OWN FKN LIFE FFS.

SO WHY BOTHER?

Just STFU. That's all I wanted FROM you.
Because when you STFU
you can WHAT? LISTEN!

What bugs me, too, 
I can have actual conversations
with chatgpt.

BETTER CONVERSATIONS
THAN WITH MOST PEOPLE I KNOW.

Although chatgpt has a response,
it doesn't fkn sit there and argue with you
about something you told it ffs.

Seems to know that's not what I was asking for.

So why is that CONTEXT LOST on most people?

I'm really tired, physically, mentally, in most ways.
AND DON'T FEEL LIKE GOING ANYWHERE.

I'll probably go to the grocery store later, though.

I have only been in it a few times.

Well, a few times since I've lived here.

It seems to be bigger inside
than it looks on the outside.

The people who've been here for a while
seem to know where and when to get the "deals."

One guy was saying that they have a "bakery thing"
where they make pizzas right there
and if they don't sell them, 
they put them on sale the next day.

Get it on sale for just being a day old.
Stuff like that.

I'm still "learning" the area.

I used to live sort of nearby.
When I was a kid, 
I used to live on the other side
of a main road, 
on one of the crossroads.

The street I lived on has two parts.
One part on either side of the main road.

My parents lived on Main street.
The house got turned into a barber shop lol. 

I went in there, with my ex. 

Was wild to see our old living room
with barber chairs in it lol. 

The dude is super cool, though. 
He remembered my folks.

And next to the neighbors on one side, 
they built a Subway. 

Probably for the proximity to the high school
next to it.

I was supposed to go to that school. 
It's a catholic school. 
I'm not catholic, I'm Anglican. 

So because I'm not catholic, 
the school wanted a fee because of it.

My mom popped off about it.

RIGHT AFTER WE LITERALLY
BOUGHT MY UNIFORM FFS.

SO THERE WAS A PROMPT
RETURN OF SAID UNIFORM.

WAS PRETTY EMBARRASSED,
BUT HAD TO LET GO
OF THE IDEA OF GOING TO SCHOOL
NEXT DOOR LOL.

I heard it's a sh*tty school anyway
AND WHO WANTS TO WEAR
A UNIFORM TO SCHOOL?

I had a uniform for work, before.
When I was a security guard.

We had to wear ties ffs.
Yes, females, too.

Anything touching my neck
in a weird way bugs me.

And I used to get "in sh*t"
for not wearing my stupid tie.

When a neighbor was moving out,
he left behind a bunch of workshirts
For an electronics store.

I kept wondering...
If I wore one to the store
maybe the store'd think
I was a new employee
and if I kept showing up "for work"
and actually did stuff while I was there...

I wonder how long it would take
for them to realize I don't work there, lol.

Just someone showing up
with the shirt
waiting to see
how long before they caught on lol.

------

My neighbor came up to "smoke one"

and he told me a new liquidation store
just opened up around the corner.

It's like the one in old Eastview.
It's not called Eastview anymore.

I still call it Eastview.
I only call it by its other name, new name
so the locals know where I'm talking about.

I like having one closer.

Anyway, he told me there was an easel thing there.
By the time we went to go see it and get it, 
someone had already snatched it up.

He suggested buying stuff there
and taking it to the pawnshop to sell it, there.

So I got something that is still in its packaging.
Everything there, is.

The liquidation store is selling returns from Amazon.

People can buy a lot of them, in a "package"
and you don't know what's in it
before you buy it.

But, anyway, 
They liquidate it and make a profit.

And always different stuff there.

He was showing me a pump
but I got distracted because I was looking around.

If it's there, tomorrow, I'll get it.

He said it's what I'd need if I were to
take the pvc pipes and "hook up" a grow system
indoors.

I forgot to water the pepper plants
and they died.

The one plant I have, I forget to water it, a lot.
It's still been going strong.

I think that as long as it has the sun, it's happy.

Been listing to the same tape all night.
It's got a song on it I really like.

The band is called Simply Red.

Anyway, I have it to play
so that I don't have to "flip the tape"
when it ends.

I can put it on the lowest decibel
and just let it play.

I bet anyone outside the apartment
can't hear it so I'm good
to play it all night, if I want to.

My neighbor, when he was here, 
he said he couldn't hear it.
Didn't know it was on. 

I got a few things at the store.
The liquidation store.

One of them is a heavy duty "tool belt thing."
That's what I'm taking to the pawnshop, 
in hopes he might be interested.

I went to pick up some food, too.

The one thing about my stomach having shrunk
is that it doesn't take a lot to feel "full."

I think that's part of why people
who eat A LOT don't often feel "full."
Because they have enlarged stomachs.

Would have been nice to get that easel, 
but whatever. 

I'm happy I found a sketchbook I can use
for "practice drawing."

I'm waiting for nice weather
to sketch those buildings...

A lot of really old buildings
with stunning architecture.

But, there are some intersections
I'd like to draw, 

and there are some "street views" etc.

Eventually, I'd like to draw people, again. 
Been a really long time
since I've done any "portrait" stuff.

In high school, one of the students
volunteered to let us draw him, in art class.

He asked if he could keep mine
because it looked the most like him. 

So I gave it to him to keep.

A few times I've given my art away. 

Or I'd get a print done for them
if I really wanted to keep the original. 

One of my paintings, my neighbor says he likes. 
I'm not that pleased with how it turned out, 
but he likes the colors I used
so I'll probably give it to him at some point.

He's trying to get an apartment in this place. 

I'm thinking of giving it to him when he does.
Doesn't really matter, I guess.
He can keep it at his sister's place, probably.

As gross as the weather's been...

It's supposed to warm up next week. 

There's a chick who "begs" in front
of the grocery store.

I was going to get her a pop.

I was going in when she asked me for money,
so I said I was going to get her something.

So she made a request FFS.

I got it for her, but...
SHE BETTER NOT EXPECT ME TO
KEEP GETTING IT FOR HER
IF SHE HAPPENS TO SEE ME.

I GOT IT, JUST TO BE NICE.

If she sees me and asks me for it, 
I'll have to be straight with her
and tell her I was only going to get her a pop.

I wasn't taking requests.

BESIDES, SHE WAS LUCKY
SHE EVEN GOT ANYTHING
FROM SOMEONE
WHO DIDN'T HAVE TO GET HER ANYTHING.

ANYONE BUYING ME IT? 
People ask me to buy them all kinds of stuff FFS.
AM I ASKING THEM TO? NO?
WHY? BECAUSE THEY DON'T OWE ME
ANYTHING I COULD "WANT."

Anyways... I also have to set aside
THE $420 THEY CAN SHOVE UP THEIR @SS.

SINCE THEY GAVE ME 2 WEEKS
TO GIVE IT TO THEM
"OR ELSE."

They didn't "have to" charge me, at all.
And they definitely didn't "have to"
go behind my back.

I guess they did TO STAB ME IN IT.

My point was it was to "fear monger."
OR THEY'D JUST SUCK IT UP
AND LET ME LEAVE.

The program is supposed to be for rent.
Not "removal fees."

Are they the "removal fee" program? No?

Probably spent too much at the liquidation store.
It'd be cool if the pawnshop will take that.

Because the pawnshop gives like 30%
of what the thing is worth, on the market.

So when I get something for $10
and I can get $20+ for it, 
that'd be worth it, I guess.

And if I can RINSE & REPEAT...

I could save up some money
to "recover"
after "having to" pull it outta my @ss
for these @sshats.

BUT IF THEY WANT TO BE GREEDY AF...

THEY CAN WAIT FOR IT
AND GO FK THEMSELVES
WHILE THEY WAIT FOR IT.

AND THE CLOSER THE DATE COMES...

THEY CAN BE ALL "HAPPY ON THE INSIDE"
THINKING I "CAN'T" PAY IT
AND THEY "WON" THEIR GAME LOL.

THEN, BOOM! In you face, fkers!

BUT, like I said. Doing it just gives me proof
THAT THEY WANTED ME TO DO IT
IN THE FIRST PLACE.

AND THE RECEIPT
THAT I PAID THEM...
IS MORE PROOF THEY WANTED IT.

There's an organisation I was told to call. 

The friend I can't seem to tell anything to...
He told me to give him an update
about how I plan to deal with the situation. 

WHY WOULD I?
SO HE CAN MAKE MORE "SUGGESTIONS"?
AT ME?

OR ARGUE WITH ME?
FOR NO REASON
OTHER THAN HE CAN SIT 
ON HIS HIGH HORSE?

AND TELL ME HOW HE DOES XYZ
"NOT TO BE LIKE" ME?

It just p*sses me off. 

I told him, today, 
NOT TO SPEAK TO ME
THE WAY HE SPEAKS TO ME.

THERE'S NO REAL REASON FOR IT.

He, like many other people, thinks
that I'm "slow" and "need help"
ALL THE FKN TIME.

If I play my cards right, 
I can settle things MY way.

By arranging a meeting...
And asking my questions in front of people...

JUST SO THAT FKR CAN SIT THERE
AND LIE TO MY FACE.

BECAUSE IF HE DOES, 
HE'LL LOOK LIKE A LIAR.

AND WHAT?
PEOPLE DON'T TRUST LIARS.
THEY CAN'T BE TRUSTED
NOT TO LIE AGAIN, 
AND KEEP LYING.

In the story I'm writing, 
One character thinks another character
is lying, but he's not.

Not throughout the story, just in that part of it.

I've got a lot of it written already...
It's taken me a long time to write it
because I kept putting it off, I guess.

It was just something that lived in my brain. 

The story has different perpectives.

One part, it's one character telling it, 
the next part, is another character telling it etc.

Someone said that it adds more depth. 
They didn't suggest it, 
they just told me that it does.

I think it would be more "captivating" that way.

So you can see it from all sides. That sort of thing.

It's cold in here.

I had to get more sugar for my tea. Ran out of it.
A bag of it can last me a few months or more.

There was a guy who stayed with me
who admitted he's addicted to sugar.

Sugar addiction is a thing.

Anyway, while he stayed with me, 
he went through like 6 bags of sugar in 3 months.

And when he ran out, he'd ask my neighbors for it FFS.

I like my "sweets" sometimes.
Like at night, with my tea, 
but I don't go through bags of sugar.
I pretty much only use it to put in my tea.

And for a while, I didn't use it at all.
Not even in my tea.

It's a "nice to have" thing.
Not a "must have" thing.
Among a lot of "nice to have" things.

Like the easel thing I could have bought
had someone not bought it...

That's a "nice to have" thing.
Anything "new for my apartment"
are "nice to have" things.

But, "nice to have" things
AREN'T "MUST HAVE" THINGS.

So I mostly buy "must have" things.
Like food and toiletries and stuff like that.

It'd be "nice to go to" the poutinerie
around the corner and across the street.

Maybe I can, one day, but it's not a "must" thing.
I can "survive" without going LOL.

Like when I'm walking in the rain...
What do I care that it's raining?
Am I going to MELT in the rain? No?
Then, what do I care?

It still sucks because it's wet
and typically cold this time of year...

The wind'll get you when you're wet...
Besides that, I'm not going to MELT
so why be concerned about it?

It's only that when it rains, when it's cold, 
the rain freezes.

Ice can literally tear a tree down the middle.
The ice gets THAT heavy on the branches.
When the branches fall
in opposite directions...
It can tear a tree down the middle.

Kind of like during the ice storm in '98,
the hydro towers we crumbling
and folding
like they were paperclips.

Because of the weight of the ice...

And that was because it kept raining. 

And it would freeze on top of the layers
and layers underneath to get really thick.

When I went to Niagara Falls
in the winter, the mist does that.
It freezes, thick, on the railings.

The best time to go to Niagara Falls
is in the fall.

Not too hot, not really cold...

And after the summer "rush"
of tourists, 
they taper down the price
of some tourist stuff. 

Because they don't get a load of them
like they do in the summer months.

What's sad about that place, 
is anywhere "away from"
the tourist attractions
IS A FREAKING GHOST TOWN.

Like boarded up etc.
With stray cats everywhere.

The areas near the casino and museums
is very well maintained.

It's a stark difference.
Very stark. 

Don't know why I'm so tired tonight.
Didn't get a lot of sleep.

And I felt sick, last night.
I grabbed the bucket in the bathroom
to bring out here, 
in case I couldn't "make it"
to the washroom to...

It's a relief not to have to worry
about "missing the toilet."

I knew someone who told me
that he'd been drinking at some bbq
and he had to puke...

The closest thing was the grill
and nobody was looking. 

He figured it'd just burn off...
Like fuel lol. 

One guy at the bbq said to him
that his burger was extra smokey...

"I bet it is... I bet it is."

Once, I couldn't "make it"
to the washroom "in time"
and I wretched off my balcony...

And someone on a floor below mine...
Had a satelite dish... LOL.

Imagine if someone DNA tested my puke
to say for sure that it was me that puked on it LOL.


Man! I don't know what made me think of this...
But one day, last week...

Someone farted in the elevator.
If farts could be DNA tested...

Farting in an elevator
SHOULD BE A CRIME!

SOMEONE CAPTIVE IN A STENCH
BECAUSE THEY NEED TO USE
THE DAMN ELEVATOR FFS.

But the day I got stuck in it...
That day, they fixed it...
While I was out
and when I got back
everyone was talking about
how someone took a sh*t in it.

I probably already wrote about that.

Anyway, sh*t like farting or crapping 
in an elevator
should be a punishable offense.

So maybe that's why I thought of it.
If we could DNA test farts
TO HOLD PEOPLE ACCOUNTABLE
FOR FARTING IN THE ELEVATOR.

Pretty sure that MOST people
can hold a fart until they get out 
of the elevator...

When I was a security guard
at a building downtown...

Someone WHO WORKED THERE
GOT CAUGHT P*SSING OUTSIDE, 
ON THE SIDE OF THE BUILDING.

One of the guards said something about it.
The guy got fired for it
BECAUSE HE COULD HAVE
JUST USED THE WASHROOM
INSIDE.
SINCE HE WORKED THERE.

But when I worked as a janitor
at a broadcasting building...

Some @sshat sh@t in the sink FFS.
IN. THE. SINK.
WTF.

Maybe to avoid sh*tting himself...
BUT FKN C'MON!

THE TOILETS WERE RIGHT FKN THERE!
RIGHT. FKN. THERE.

And to leave it there for ME to clean. 
Wasn't paid ENOUGH to work there.

When I walk by that building, 
I think of THAT. Fkn @sshatery.

AND I FEEL "SICK"
AT THE THOUGHT OF
HOW MUCH THESE FKRS GET PAID...

DOING SH*T LIKE SH*TTING IN THE SINK ETC.

WANNA PAY ME TO SH*T IN A SINK?

Actually, I wouldn't be as CRUEL as to 
LEAVE THAT FOR SOMEONE TO CLEAN FFS.

BEEN ON THE OTHER SIDE OF IT.
COULDN'T MAKE ENOUGH
TO CLEAN UP AFTER THAT.

FKN GROSS.

Anyway, what would you rather HAVE TO clean?
Puke? Or sh*t?

I bought a couple of red peppers.
I like them fried in balsamic vinegar.
With some salt on them. 

I've got lots of seeds saved up.

For next time I try to grow some lol. 
I'd better remember to water them...

For a while, I was doing well
with keeping up with that...

With that pump thing my neighbor showed me...
I could rig a thing and pump the water to it
from a bucket, up the piping. 

I plan on rigging something up.

He said that I'd really have to
make sure to water the plants every day
if I built that greenhouse
because it could get hot in there, etc.

I'd need a "flap" to let the heat out
and he said that if I could run a fan in there, 
during the day, the plants in there
would probably appreciate that.

I'd like to have a mini generator to do that, 
to run an "air system" in there.

Just to use on the balcony.
Out there, there aren't any plugs...

I meant outlets to "plug into."

There are some solar light things
for outdoors at a place
I looked around in...

It'll just take me longer
to get what I "would like" to get.

None of it is a "must have" thing.

Those are "nice to have" things.
Just "stuff" I don't "really" need.

Saw some lights for my apartment.
If they are still there, tomorrow, 
along with that pump...

I had accidentally typed pimp lol.
If the pimp's still there... LOL.

PROBABLY A BUNCH OF PIMPS AROUND...
AS LONG AS THEY STAY TF AWAY FROM ME...

Because, no, I don't smoke cr@ck. So fk off! Y'know?

Freaking head jerker.
I gave him sh*t for doing that
and just expecting me to go over
BECAUSE HE JERKED HIS HEAD AT ME?

He was shocked that I said no.

My neighbor said that he wouldn't have
even turned around
to ask him wtf he even wanted.
He would have just kept walking.

AM I OLIGATED TO TURN AROUND?
JUST BECAUSE YOU SHOUT "HEY!" AT ME?
EVEN TO ASK YOU WTF YOU WANT?
NO. NOT EVEN TO TELL SOMEONE
TO GO FK THEMSELVES.

THEY CAN, BUT I'M NOT OBLIGATED
TO EVEN SAY ANYTHING.

I CAN CONSERVE ENERGY THAT WAY, LOL.

Anyway, I'm stoked for that store opening near here.

Just having one of those places in the city is cool. 
But to have somewhere closer?
YES. PLEASE.

Especially if I get a really good deal on something
and the pawnshop pays me more than
what I got it for...

Wheel'n and deal'n...

Since it's still in the packaging
and has never been USED,
Could get more than if it was.

And since it's on liquidation....

Very good deals.
Because they keep decreasing the prices...

ON EVERYTHING.

AND EVERYTHING IS THE SAME PRICE.
NO MATTER WHAT IT IS.

I WENT ON THE $10 DAY.

SO THAT TOOL BELT THING, 
$10! Could be worth $50.

What I'd like to find...
Grow lights. 

My stepfather got some
from the other place.

Like I said, those are "nice to have" things.

But if I can make a few bucks
between there and the pawnshop...

And find some vintage clothes for that vintage shop, 
they'll buy them off of me.
From me, I meant.

"Here, you can buy the clothes I'm wearing." LOL.

That grocery store is fkn expensive.

It's the only one on this street.
The other nearest is the mall...

Wayyy up te road.

I don't mind the walk, 
but I got a "thermos" thing
to keep some water "on me."

F*cking embarrassing
TO ASK FOR JUST WATER
AND GET DENIED WATER FFS.

CARRYING SOME "ON ME..."
PROBABLY A GOOD IDEA
ESPECIALLY IF I REMEMBER TO LOL.

When I go to that campus...
The university that has the piano...
One of the first things I do...
I head straight for the water fountain...

Then, after I have my drink, 
there's a plant I named "Brutus."
I give "Brutus" some water.

Been a while since I went over there.
It was the day that I sold the bike lock
and the bike pump or the day after.

I went on an excursion.
Ended up walking, up by the farm.

That's how I came across the Indian Cafe.

Wouldn't have known it was there.
It's tucked away in a building. 

They have games that are right on the tables.
So you can play while you're waiting for your food
and you can play while you eat,
or drink your tea, or whatever.

I'm interested in trying the mango smoothie, 
but eating "out" and stuff like that
are "nice to do" things.
Not "must do" things.

Like it'd be nice to go to the museum
by the farm. Haven't been in there
since I was a kid
and I forget what it's like, in there.

It's a barn so it's probably like a barn in there LOL.

Back when the "exhibition" started, here...
It was more a carnival or something small. 

There was a livestock show and auction. 

My cousin, went to one, near where he lives...
He got a goat and a pig, there.

The pig was pregnant. 
He named the piglets after cuts of pork
and pork related names LOL.

He's going on a massive hike thing.
From southern California
to southern BC.

There's a popular hikng trail
up the west coast.

He's got 6 months off work
to go do this crazy treck..

At any time, he can "cop out"
if he wants to or needs to.

Then try it again another time.
But pretty sure he'll stick it through
because it's kind of a "once in a lifetime" type of thing.

I think he wants to do it to "cross it off"
of his "bucket list."

I have to update my address on some stuff.
I keep forgetting to do that.

Maybe I should put this tape aside for a while.
Switch it to another one
so I don't wear it out too much.

I've worn out more than a few tapes.

I think I said the band was Simply Red, 
but it's actually called Simply Red Stars.

If I could just be in a cacoon, and be warm, 
and fed, I'd stay in it
until the summer lol.

Just too cold for me.
Even though it's not as could as it was.

Winter's almost over.

It's supposed to be spring, technically.
It's not, to me, until the snow's gone.

Someone told me they saw a robin
about a week ago...

Before we got that snow dumped on us LOL.

It can go back where it came from, 
up into the sky.

That's probably why it rains
so much in April. 

Because that moisture
from the snow melting
getting evaporated into the sky...

What goes up, must come down. 

I hadn't thought about that
before a neighbor and I were talking about the weather.

I told him that I thought we were done
with the snow
because we had a very decent day...

And he'd taken his bike out.
Saw him, riding around, all happy
that he could get his bike out
and ride around.

He was so happy about it
that I was happy for him. 

Anyway, it was so decent that day
that I guess it was wishful thinking
to think it'd stay that way.

I got some juice at the dollar store.
I water it down to make it last longer.

That way, I'm not drinking just water
(the water tastes weird here).

And not just "tea" all the time.

I discovered that there's an upstairs
at the dollar store.

I saw the stairs, there, but I thought
that it was just a "staff area"
so I never even really thought
it could be a second floor of stuff.

So I may as well check it out sometime.
It's just that I don't really "need" very much "stuff."

And I've gotta think about
what I can part with, that I already have,
and even bring to the pawnshop.

I can bring the knitting magizines to the 
antique shop because some of them
are old enough to be considered vintage.

I saw some really cool stuff there...

Stuff I can save up for to buy as gifts
for some people.

People who've helped me
because they wanted to.

It's just that ONE friend
who acts like he has all this "knowledge"
that I don't
so I "need to be" suggesed AT.

I TOLD HIM I WASN'T ASKING FOR
AND DIDN'T ASK FOR
SUGGESTIONS FFS.

I'D ONLY CALLD TO TELL HIM SOMETHING.

MORE TO SAY
THAT THE ADVICE HE GAVE ME
THAT I TOOK
BACKFIRED.

And I'd probably been better off
HAD HE NOT SUGGESTED IT TO ME
OR ADVISED ME TO DO IT, EVEN.

BUT I DIDN'T HAVE TO LISTEN TO HIM. 

I DIDN'T HAVE TO DO
WHAT HE SUGGESTED, THAT I DID.

JUST BECAUSE HE SUGGESTED IT TO ME.

But it was more to tell him what happened
as a result of him telling me to do it...

Even though, it was a result of me doing it.
BECAUSE I DIDN'T HAVE TO LISTEN TO HIS
"SUGGESTIONS"

At least he's not one of those guys
"suggesting" an "arrangement."

HE RESPECTS ME ENOUGH
NOT TO BE LIKE THAT,

BUT I'M NOT HIS TYPE, ANYWAY.

HE'S INTO THE GIRLS WHO DO
THE WHOLE MAKEUP THING ETC.

He told me, at his old place, 
that he was totally crushing on his "hot" neighbor.

BUT DID I MAKE "SUGGESTIONS" AT HIM
ABOUT GOING TO TALK TO HER?

OR HOW NOT TO BE "AWKWEIRD"
AROUND GIRLS? NO?

I JUST LET HIM TELL ME.
BECAUSE HE JUST WANTED TO TELL ME.
RIGHT?

So I left it at that.
BECAUSE IF HE WANTED ADVICE
ABOUT GIRLS, HE'D ASK ONE, RIGHT?

HE'D ASK ME, IF HE WANTED "SUGGESTIONS"
OR "ADVICE" OF ANY KIND.

AND I LEAVE IT AT THAT.
I LEAVE IT AT:
IF HE WANTED THAT, HE'D ASK FOR IT.

So I just let him TELL ME
WHAT HE JUST TELLS ME.

NO ADVICE, NO ARGUMENTS, 
NO JUDGING ME
FOR NOT WANTING TO DO
OR TRY TO DO
WHAT HE SUGGESTS I DO ETC.

OR DIGS AT ME
BECAUSE HE WANTS TO ARGUE
WITH ME ABOUT SOMETHING I SAID FFS.

AND PUTTING WORD IN MY MOUTH? DON'T.

If I don't do that sh*t TO YOU,
WHY DO IT TO ME?

PROBABLY A REASON WHY I DON'T, RIGHT?
EVER WONDER WHAT THAT REASON IS?
WELL IF HE WANTED TO KNOW, 
HE'D ASK, RIGHT?

AND I LEAVE IT AND LET HIM ASK, 
IF HE WANTS TO.

IF HE DOESN'T, 
WHO AM I TO RAM MY "SUGGESTIONS"
AND MY "ADVICE" DOWN HIS THROAT.

AND TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT
DOING WHAT I TOLD HIM HE SHOULD DO
BECAUSE HE DOESN'T "LIKE" WHAT I TOLD HIM
THAT HE SHOULD DO.

Yes, he freaking did that.

Is that why YOU didn't follow MY suggestions?
Because you don't "like"
what I suggested?

And when do I ever suggest much of anything?
I don't. Because people have choices.

And even when I suggest anything, 
they'll do things they want to do
in the way they want to do them, right?

LIKE HOW I SUGGESTED
TO THE MANAGER OF THE RENTAL COMPANY
THAT THEY DON'T TRY TO SHOW A "UNIT"
THAT HAS AN OCCUPANT IN IT, 
WHEN NOTHING'S BEEN "UPGRADED/UPDATED."

Do they want to se what it looked like
when I moved in 20 years ago?

Or do they want to see what THE OTHER UNITS look like?

Besides that, I could have been passed out, n@ked or something...
And the potential "residents" could realize
THEY REALLY DGAF
IF THEY DO THAT KIND OF SH*T.

Does it say they respect the current occupant?
THE PRIVACY OF THE CURRENT OCCUPANT.

Then to act all "surprised" that I didn't get a "letter"
"notifying me" that they were coming over...

JUST DO NOT FKN DO THAT. JUST THAT.
AT THE VERY LEAST FFS.

Just... Wait until it's all redone etc
AND AVAILABLE RIGHT AWAY
SO THEY CAN SIGN THE LEASE
AND MOVE IN RIGHT AWAY.

SOUNDS BETTER?
SEEMS BETTER?
THAN THAT?
BARGING IN ON SOMEONE
AND WAKING THEM UP
TO SHOW A PLACE?

BECAUSE WHO GAF
THAT I'M STILL LIVING THERE
BESIDES ME?
THEM?

Couldn't wait until I was GONE and OUT
before you show the place
AND I CAN'T GET OUT OF THERE FAST ENOUGH
THAT I LEFT STUFF BEHIND. EVEN...

THAT THEY ARE CHARGING ME
FOR LEAVING THERE.
THROUGH A CITY PROGRAM FFS.

BUT WHEN I DO LEAVE
YOU HAVE TO "BULLY" ME
INTO PAYING YOU...

GET. TF. OUTTA. HERE. WITH. THAT. SH*T.

But no mention of anything
THEY EVER PUT ME THROUGH
THAT THEY SHOULDN'T HAVE...

I WAS SUPPOSED TO SUCK UP
EVERY LOSS. EVERYTHING.

My losses weren't any of their concern.
Lost money on having to suck up a fee?
IS THAT MY PROBLEM?

OH! WAIT! YOU'RE MAKING IT MY PROBLEM, EH?

Maybe, just maybe...
I'll make it YOUR problem
that you're making it MY problem, 
literally.

Because that's what they're doing.
COULD. HAVE. JUST. LET. ME. LEAVE.

WITHOUT. TRYING. TO. STICK ME.

How is it that they can just go through the city
TO MAKE ME COVER A FEE
THAT IS THEIRS TO COVER
BECAUSE ONCE I'M OUT, I'M OUT.

People skip the fkn country.
BECAUSE OF THE TYPE OF SH*T THEY DO.

ARE THEY GOING TO CHASE THEM THROUGH INTERPOL?

SO WHY CHASE ME THROUGH THE CITY?

And what if I wasn't going to be in the program?
COULD THEY TRY TO USE IT AGAINST ME?

NO? THEN WTF IS THEIR PROBLEM?
WHY TRY TO MAKE MY LIFE "HELL"
OVER $420 DOLLARS FFS?

JUST BECAUSE?
OR IS THERE A "REASON"?

Could that "reason" be
THAT I MADE THEM LOOK LIKE IDIOTS
WHEN I REFUSED TO SIGN THE FORM
THAT WAS THE WRONG FORM ANYWAY?

AND I WENT "BEHIND THEIR BACK"
TO FORCE THEM TO BACK OFF ABOUT IT?

BECAUSE I NEEDED TO SIGN SOMETHING ELSE?
NOT WHAT THEY WERE TRYING TO FORCE ME TO?

Could be.
OR TELLING THEM...
YOU PROBABLY SHOULDN'T DO XYZ
IT MAKES YOUR COMPANY LOOK BAD.

WHY MAKE THE COMPANY
THAT YOU WORK FOR
LOOK BAD?

So maybe at least CONSIDER
NOT DOING XYZ.

NOT BECAUSE I TOLD YOU NOT TO.
BUT BECAUSE IT FKN MAKES YOU LOOK BAD.

So is there a "reason" I'm saying not to?
OTHER THAN IT'S NOT FKN COOL TO DO?
OTHER THAN I DON'T LIKE THAT YOU DID IT?
OTHER THAN I WISH YOU HADN'T?
OTHER THAN I'M TELLING YOU NOT TO?

Yes, because it makes you clowns
LOOK LIKE CLOWNS.

SO STOP PUTTING ON YOUR CLOWN SHOES
AND CAKING ON THE MAKEUP ETC

TO LOOK LIKE CLOWNS? GOT IT?

I mean, if you want to, go ahead...
But if you don't want to...
CONSIDER NOT DOING XYZ.

TO ANY CURRENT RESIDENT.
EVEN IF THEY ARE ABOUT TO MOVE OUT.

MOVING OUT FOR A "REASON"
OR ELSE THEY'D STAY, YEAH?

AND WHEN THEY ARE MOVING OUT,
DON'T FKN MAKE IT AN ORDEAL
JUST TO MOVE OUT FFS.

BECAUSE THAT JUST MAKES THEM
NOT WANT TO BE THERE
OR EVER COME BACK FFS.

WHY GO BACK TO THAT?
ANY "REASON" WHY I SHOULD?

ESPECIALLY AFTER THEM NOT WANTING TO
JUST LET ME FKN LEAVE?
WITHOUT THIS BS?

AND GETTING MAD
THAT I MADE SOME SUGGESTIONS FFS?

But if they wanted any feedback, 
they'd ask for it, right?

Why would they stop doing xyz
"just because I told them not to."

DID I EVER TELL THEM NOT TO?
OR DID I EXPLAIN WHY THEY SHOULDN'T?

BIG DIFFERENCE.

BECAUSE ONCE YOU REALIZE
WHY YOU SHOULDN'T...
YOU CAN TELL YOURSELF NOT TO!!!

I WOULDN'T HAVE TO, RIGHT?
BECAUSE YOU CAN TELL YOURSELF?
NOT TO? YEAH?

Is that WHY I explained to you
WHY YOU SHOULDN'T?

And if you CONSIDER
WHAT I SAID
YOU MIGHT REALIZE
THAT I HAVE A POINT

AND THAT'S WHY I EVEN BROUGHT IT UP FFS.

"SHE WAS RIGHT ALL ALONG!
THIS DOES MAKE ME LOOK LIKE A CLOWN!"

YA THINK? 

BUT HOW DARE I EVER BE RIGHT ABOUT ANYTHING?

"STUPID" PEOPLE AREN'T EVER RIGHT, ARE THEY?

Scrabble:
"That's not a word!"
"It is."
"Nope."
"Look it up."
*Googles the word*
"You're RIGHT. It means xyz."
*Reads the meaning of the word out loud*
"See?"

BUT PEOPLE WANT TO FKN ARGUE FFS.
BECAUSE WHY WOULD I BE RIGHT
ABOUT FKN ANYTHING?
EVER.

I DON'T "KNOW" "ENOUGH"
TO EVER "KNOW" WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.

SO WHY FKN TALK?

IS THERE A POINT?

STAYING "QUIET" DOESN'T MEAN I'M STUPID.
IT MEANS WHY WASTE MY TIME
TELLING PEOPLE ANYTHING
WHO WANT TO JUST FKN ARGUE
ABOUT EVERYTHING I FKN SAY?

MAYBE, JUST MAYBE,
I'M NOT AS "STUPID" AS I "SEEM."

BUT WHO'D KNOW IT?
AM I BRAGGING TO EVERYONE? NO?
WHY DO THAT?

JUST SO EVERYONE CAN "KNOW"
HOW "SMART" I AM?

Bragging about being "smart"
doesn't "make you look" "smart."

Because as much as I DO know,
there's a lot that I don't know, yet.

SO WHY SHOULD I EVER ACT
LIKE I KNOW EVERYTHING
THERE IS TO KNOW ABOUT EVERYTHING?

DO I KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT EVERYTHING?
NO? THEN WHY ACT LIKE I DO?

JUST TO ACT LIKE I DO?
SO PEOPLE CAN THINK THAT I DO?

Doesn't change the fact that I DON'T. Right?

AND YOU CAN LEARN THINGS...
BY WHAT? LISTENING!

LET PEOPLE JUST TELL YOU THINGS.

SOMEONE TELLS YOU THE SKY'S BLUE...
YOU GOING TO ARGUE WITH THEM ABOUT IT?
TELL THEM IT'S RED OR GREEN? 

"YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO ME! I KNOW
WHAT COLOR THE SKY IS!"

"IT'S GREEN BECAUSE I THINK IT IS."
Or it is green because of xyz ffs.

But I'm "stupid" and "slow"
because I'm not "bragging or showing off?"
BECAUSE I'M QUIET?
BECAUSE I DON'T SAY THINGS
JUST TO SAY THINGS?

I mean, on here, I write about random stuff...

But when I'm making a POINT
it's for A REASON.

OR ELSE WHY MAKE IT?

JUST TO BE SATISFIED THAT I MADE IT?
OR BECAUSE MAYBE...

"SHE'S GOT A POINT."

But it takes CONSIDERING
WHAT I AM SAYING
AND WHY I AM SAYING IT
TO REALIZE THAT MAYBE, JUST MAYBE
I ACTUALLY HAVE A POINT.

And I really dislike going OUT OF MY WAY.
JUST TO FKN SAY SOMETHING

I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO FKN SAY!!!!
BECAUSE THERE'D BE NO REASON TO FKN SAY IT!!!!

Because why would there be a REASON, ANY REASON
TO SAY IT
IF EVERYONE ALREADY GOT THE POINT?

If they got the point:
THIS SH*T MAKES YOU LOOK BAD...

THEY WOULDN'T BE DOING IT
AND NO REASON TO TELL THEM
DOING THIS SH*T MAKES YOU LOOK BAD.

BECAUSE THEY WOULDN'T BE DOING IT.
BECAUSE?
IT MAKES THEM LOOK BAD.
THAT'S WHY!

But why would anyone want to hear that?
"You're making yourselves look bad."

"I appreciate your concern about how we look..."

IT'S NOT ME WHO SHOULD BE CONCERNED.
CAN YOU AFFORD NOT TO BE CONCERNED?
WITH HOW SOMETHING
THAT MAKES YOU LOOK SH*TTY
IS MAKING YOU LOK SH*TTY?

It's not about MY concerns. FFS.

It's "HEY, CONSIDER THIS. BECAUSE THIS."

But to tell someone to consider something
who doesn't want to be told anything
let alone what looks sh*tty to do?

"This makes you look sh*tty."

"Since you're TELLING me
something I don't want to be TOLD...
I'll be even MORE sh*tty."

Wtf is wrong with someone
telling you "hey, consider NOT doing this,
because xyz."

AND IF THEY DON'T WANT TO LISTEN, 
It doesn't change that xyz is the REASON
you probably might want to
CONSIDER
NOT DOING XYZ.

NOT BECAUSE I'M TELLING YOU TO
CONSIDER IT.

BUT BECAUSE IF YOU DO, 
REALLY DO, 
MAYBE YOU'LL "SEE"
WHY IT'D BE A "GOOD IDEA"
TO CONSIDER IT.

NO MATTER WHO'S MAKING THE POINT
ABOUT IT.

EVEN SOMEONE EVERYONE THINKS
IS "STUPID."

WHO NEVER HAS A POINT ABOUT ANYTHING
BECAUSE WHY WOULD SHE?

Beause she doesn't "have" anything "smart" to say.
If I'm pushed to make a point, 
I FKN WILL!!!

BUT WHY PUSH ME TO DO IT?

BECAUSE WHEN I DO, ACTUALLY DO IT,
YOU DON'T LIKE IT.

Because the "stupid" girl has a POINT.
Whoa! The heavens opened up!
I can see the light!
All the things I couldn't see!

LIKE THE FACT
THAT MAYBE, SOMETIMES, 
I HAVE A POINT.

I JUST DON'T GO AROUND
MAKING THEM TO EVERYONE
BECAUSE PEOPLE THINK
I DON'T FKN HAVE ANY.

AND TREAT ME LIKE I KNOW "NOTHING."
Okay, then, think you knoe EVERYTHING
AND I DON'T.

JUST DON'T EXPECT ME
NOT TO GET TIRED OF THAT SH*T
AND NOT SAY ANYTHING ABOUT IT.

Because I could go for YEARS AND YEARS...
NOT SAYING FK ALL ABOUT FK ALL.

ANYONE ASKING ME WHAT I THINK?
NO? SO WHY SHOULD I TELL THEM?

Besides, I think better in writing.
I don't know why, but I do.

AND I AM PERFECTLY CONTENT
LETTING PEOPLE THINK I'M "STUPID"

BECAUSE, AT ANY TIME, 
I CAN EASILY CLEAR 
WHATEVER LOW BAR
THEY SET FOR ME LOL.

KINDA LIKE HOW PEOPLE
TRY TO TRAP ME
IN A TRAP THEY THINK
I'LL FALL FOR?

SO I'D BE WHERE THEY WANTED ME TO BE?
Nope. Doesn't work that way.
Not with me.
Good try, though.

GO PULL THAT SH*T WITH SOMEONE ELSE.
WAIT! WHEN THEY SEE YOU PULL THAT SH*T
WILL THEY LET YOU PULL THAT SH*T ON THEM?

Or will they be like:
"You do that sh*t?! Wtf is wrong with you?"

And then YOU feel stupid, eh?

FOR TRYING TO MAKE SOMEONE LOOK "STUPID"
WHEN THEY ACTUALLY WEREN'T?

But they were, to you, because that's what you THOUGHT.
BUT HAVING "DISABILITIES" AUTOMATICALLY
MEANS "STUPID" RIGHT?

"Hear" what I'm saying, though?

JUST BECAUSE YOU THINK XYZ
DOES NOT MEAN XYZ IS TRUE.

IT MEANS YOU THINK IT IS.

MAYBE, JUST MAYBE
THERE'S A CHANCE IT'S NOT?

MAYBE THERE'S A CHANCE I'M RIGHT?
ABOUT SOMETHING MAKING YOU LOOK BAD?

BECAUSE IT PROBABLY DOES.

OR ELSE WHY WOULD I SUGGEST
THAT YOU CONSIDER THAT IT JUST MIGHT.

AND IF YOU TOOK THE TIME
TO THINK ABOUT WHAT I SAID
AND WHY I SAID IT
YOU MIGHT THINK ABOUT SOME OTHER THINGS
TOO.

But how dare I suggest THAT?
BECAUSE "WHO DO I THINK I AM?"
SOMEONE WHO THINKS I KNOW EVERYTHING?

Or could I be someone
who knows just enough?
TO REALIZE SOME THINGS
BECAUSE I TOOK THE TIME
TO THINK ABOUT THEM?

Funny how people can even MAKE the time
to THINK
ABOUT THINGS.
THINGS THAT *MIGHT*
MAKE THEM LOOK BAD?

AND HOW THEY CAN'T AFFORD
TO MAKE THEMSELVES LOOK
ANY WORSE THAN THEY ALREADY DO?

I'm not talking about "affording" it financially.
I'm talking about "affording" it
in other ways.

BECAUSE BAD IMPRESSIONS
LEAVE AN IMPRESSION.

JUST LIKE WHAT?
JUST LIKE GOOD ONES DO.

RIGHT?! OR AM I WRONG?
ABOUT THAT, TOO?

Because people can be
just as impressed
AS THEY CAN BE UNIMPRESSED.

AND WHEN THEY ARE UNIMPRESSED, 
ARE YOU AS "IMPORTANT"
AS YOU "TRIED" TO "MAKE"
EVERYONE "THINK"
YOU "ARE"?

SO CAN YOU "AFFORD"
TO MAKE YOUR WHOLE COMPANY LOOK BAD
JUST BECAUSE YOU MAKE YOURSELF LOOK BAD?

Who's really the "face" of the company?
EVERYONE WHO WORKS FOR IT!!!!

NOT JUST ANY ONE PERSON!!!!

If you think it's "just you"
it's fkn not. 

But it has EVERYTHING TO DO WITH
HOW YOU TREAT PEOLE
YOU WANT RESPECT FROM. 

People respect people MORE
if they COMMAND respect, 
not DEMAND it.

Because "who the fk are you to demand anything from me?"

IF I'M *IMPLORING* YOU
COULD YOU *EXPLORE*
WHAT I'M IMPLORING?

Because when you explore something, 
you might discover some FACTS
about how what you thought
IN GENERAL, NOT JUST ABOUT ME,
WASN'T THE CASE.

But why waste my time explaining that
to anyone who "thinks I'm stupid" ?

Or do I just let them think what they think?

AND RESERVE MYSELF
FOR PEOPLE WHO REALIZE SOME THINGS
BECAUSE THEY CONSIDER THINGS
THAT AREN'T SO HARD
TO THINK ABOUT?

Like what makes me look sh*tty
and what doesn't?

What would make me look like a breath of fresh air?
Not a wet fart? ffs.

OR WORSE THAN ONE?

You know what makes someone look
like a breath of fresh air?

THE ABILITY TO RECOGNIZE
WHAT MAKES THEM LOOK BAD...

AND WHAT DOESN'T.

AND THE ABILITY TO CONSIDER BOTH OF THOSE THINGS.
SIMUTANEOUSLY, EVEN.

Like: I don't even LIVE THERE ANYMORE
AND THEY STILL WANT
TO "CAUSE GRIEF"
FOR ME.

Because? I told them
they probably shouldn't?

Because it's not "cool" of them to do?

Is "retaliatng" against me...
SUPPOSED TO MAKE YOU LOOK ANY BETTER?

"MAKES ME LOOK LIKE THE WINNER!"
NOPE.

People can lose at their own "game"
BECAUSE THEY DECIDED TO
PLAY IT FFS.

Roll "the dice" see what happens.

I can roll mine, too.

The "dice" "land" however they do.

CARDS UP YOUR "SLEEVE"
JUST MAKE YOU LOOK DISHONEST.

PLAY FAIR. IF YOU'RE GOING TO "PLAY" AT ALL.

And if you WANT to put me
AT AN UNFAIR "ADVANTAGE"
A DISADVANTAGE...

MAYBE I'M NOT AS DISADVANTAGED
AS YOU WANTED ME TO BE.

Maybe purposely trying to put
someone at a disadvantage
actually puts YOU at a disadvantage.

BECAUSE FAIR'S FAIR?

Like I said before:

IF YOU'RE GOING TO
PUT SOMEONE'S BACK UP
AGAINST A WALL
DON'T PAINT YOURSELF
INTO A CORNER
TO DO IT.

Good? Good!

People don't like being or getting
SHOWN TF OUT
BY SOMEONE "LIKE ME."
BY ANYONE, 
BUT SOMEONE "LIKE ME"
MAKES IT WORSE LOL.

Because they're BETTER than ME
and EVERYONE ELSE
OTHER THAN WHO THEY FEEL
"LESS THAN."

But they are MORE than someone "like me" 
Okay, go ahead and think that. All you want.

DOES IT MAKE ANY DIFFERENCE
TO WHAT I THINK?
OR THINK ABOUT?

NO? Go ahead! 
Am I stopping you from thinking what you think?

BY IMPLORING YOU
TO CONSIDER SOMETHING?

THAT MIGHT BE WORTH IT TO YOU
TO CONSIDER?

AT LEAST A LITTLE BIT?

But do I have to be all like 
"What tf is wrong with you?!"

Or could I just pull you aside and say, "Hey,
you *might* want to think about this"?

AND JUST LET YOU THINK ABOUT IT.

AM I FORCING YOU TO THINK ABOUT IT?
JUST BECAUSE I SAID SOMETHING
ALONG THE LINES
OF YOU *MIGHT* WANT TO?

But you'd have had to have "heard" me
TO THINK ABOUT WHAT I SAID.

AND WHY LISTEN TO ME?
WHO TF DO I THINK I AM?

DO I HAVE TO BE "SOMEONE"
TO HAVE A POINT?

OR CAN ANYONE HAVE A POINT?
EVEN SOMEONE "LIKE ME"?

But my point was:
AM I FORCING YOU TO THINK?
AM I EVEN TRYING TO *MAKE YOU* THINK?

OR AM I *IMPLORING* YOU TO THINK?
About specific things?
For specific reasons?

BUT THEY DON'T LIKE
BEING "TOLD" WHAT "TO DO"
AND WHAT "NOT TO DO"
BY "SOMEONE WHO'S A NOBODY" 

AM I TELLING YOU WHAT TO DO?
OR WHAT NOT TO?

OR AM I GIVING YOU REASONS
WHY YOU *MIGHT* WANT TO
AT LEAST FKN THINK
ABOUT WHAT YOU ARE DOING
AND WHAT YOU'RE NOT DOING?

And if you want to ignore me
because I'm a "nobody"
and you "want to show me"
who's "boss"

GO FOR IT.

BUT YOU *MIGHT*
WANT TO BE THE BOSS OF YOURSELF, FIRST
BEFORE YOU *TRY*
BEING THE BOSS OF ME.

Because if you were, 
you'd be too busy with that

TO TRY TO "SHOW ME."
LET ALONE TRY TO SHOW ME TF OUT LOL.

I CAN SEE MYSELF OUT, THANKS.

*Exits stage left*
*Curtain falls*
*Leaves the building*

Monday, March 31, 2025

Over A Fee

It's been frustrating, but it's been cold, too. 

It snowed a bit the other day. 
I thought we were done with winter
because we had some pretty decent weather. 

March is usually a toss up. 
I think I wrote about that already.

But, thankfully, tomorrow is the last day.

I dread that day for reasons I already wrote about.

I don't drink anymore so I won't be getting "sloshed."

Speaking of "sloshed" the neighbor who bought that bottle...
He drank the whole thing in one day.

Way to get alcohol poisoning, bud. 

The thing a lot of people don't consider
IS THEIR LIVER HAS TO FILTER THAT.

A WHOLE BOTTLE IN ONE DAY?!

That's taking your liver for granted.

EXPECTING YOUR LIVER
TO FILTER THAT
AND KEEP YOU ALIVE FFS.

Yeah, I had alcohol poisoning, once.
I was hung over for days, 
after drinking one night, 
too much in one night.

I was so sick at school, 
the next day
(high school)
they got me to take a pregnancy test lol. 

They didn't MAKE me do it, 
the nurse thought
that was the REASON
I was THAT sick. 

What else could it have been, right?

That taught me, not to drink
TOO MUCH. 

BUT it could have been a reason
to QUIT altogether.

I quit because people were
trying to weaponize it against me.
ALL THE FKN TIME.

There came a time WHEN I just...
"You can't do that to someone
WHO DOESN'T DRINK ANYMORE."

BUT do they STILL try to?

Absolutely
BECAUSE THAT'S THE ONLY THING
THEY'D HAVE.

THAT THEY THINK
THEY STILL HAVE
TO USE AGAINST ME.

So they STILL do it.
Or try to do it.

P*sses me off. 

Something to do
with someone getting "defensive"
to "deny" they were "drinking"

EVEN THOUGH THEY WEREN'T.

THEY ONLY GOT P*SSED OFF
FOR ASKING IF THEY WERE DRINKING FFS.

Because THAT was why I was angry, right?

Not because of the BS?

NOT BECAUSE OF @SSHATS
BEING @SSHATS?

WHEN THEY REALLY
DON'T HAVE TO BE!!!!

Anyone forcing them to be an @sshat?
Anyone saying:

"Be an @sshat! Or else!"
Or else you're not "cool'?

Is it "cool" to be an @sshat?

But when multi-million dollar companies
go through city programs
to "go after" FORMER tenants...

THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG, THERE.

Especially when the city program
IS FOR RENT ONLY. 

NOTHING ELSE.

And going behind my back
with no discussion or mention of it
TO ME

WHEN I'M THE ONE WHO OWES?

WHY ARE YOU DISCUSSING IT
WITH ANYONE OTHER THAN ME?

Makes sense, right?

So why make threats to me about it?
To "force" me to "comply"?

OR ELSE?

Pretty sure that's not what the programs
are supposed to be for.

Programs that are supposed to HELP
shouldn't be used as a WEAPON. 

Especially AFTER
SOMEONE MOVED OUT!!!! FFS.

On Monday, I have to "settle the issue."
TO "COMPLY" WITH THE "RULES."

THAT THEY HAD NO BUSINESS
GOING THROUGH A RENT PROGRAM
WHEN IT HAS ZERO TO DO WITH RENT
TO MAKE THREATS TO ME.

THAT is why I've been grumpy AF.

BECAUSE THEY DID THAT
THEY CAN BE TAUGHT A HEFTY LESSON
ABOUT IT.

Why not say something to me about it
WHEN I WAS GIVING THE KEYS BACK?

WHY GO THROUGH THE CITY
TO "CONTACT ME"
ON THEIR BEHALF?

They couldn't contact me DIRECTLY
BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE
INVADING MY PRIVACY
TO FIND OUT WHERE I MOVED
TO THREATEN ME
WITH THEIR OWN LETTERS.

And they couldn't do that, right?

So they "had to" do it this way.

HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH RENT?
THEN WHY GO THROUGH A RENT PROGRAM?

ARE THEY THE REMOVAL FEE PROGRAM?
NO? THEN SHOULDN'T THEY
HAVE SPOKEN TO ME?
NOT THEM?

WHEN THE LEASE WAS UP...
THEY WOULD HAVE NO BUSINESS
WITH THE RENT PROGRAM
BECAUSE WHY?
I WASN'T LIVING THERE ANYMORE!!!!

So if they wanted to go behind my back
THIS BADLY, 

THEN SO CAN I.

And I'll be nice enough to pay their FEE.
JUST TO COMPLY 
WITH THE RULES
THAT HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH RENT
WHATSOEVER...

And the REAL reason
was because I told them

SOME THINGS THEY WERE DOING
AND DID DO

WERE NOT FKN COOL
TO DO TO ANYONE, PERIOD.

THEY DIDN'T LIKE HEARING THAT
SO THEY WENT BEHIND MY BACK
TO DO THIS SH*T.

IN THE HOPES
THAT I WOULDN'T BE ABLE
TO AFFORD TO DO THAT.

AND PUT ME "OUT THERE."

Because I didn't pay my rent? No?
Has nothing to do with RENT?

THEN WTF IS THE ISSUE?

The issue is
YOUR MISMANAGEMENT AND NEGLECT
FORCED ME TO LIVE IN CONDITIONS

THAT ANYONE WOULD 
LITERALLY RUN FROM, 
IF THEY COULD.

AND I SAID SOMETHING ABOUT IT!
HOW DARE I DO THAT!!!

HOW DARE I MAKE THE @SSHATS
LOOK LIKE @SSHATS.

THAT'S THE REAL ISSUE.

But will they admit to that?
Why would they?

"Defensive" to "deny."

And yeah, they can afford good lawyers.

BUT CAN THEY AFFORD
TO STAKE THEIR REPUTATION
ON SOMETHING THEY HAD NO RIGHT TO DO?

I bet not!

If I were them, I wouldn't. 

THAT'S A LOT TO PUT AT STAKE.

FOR THE SAKE OF $420?! WOW.

And if there IS a loophole, 
there's only a small window of opportunity.

Because they gave me 2 weeks to
"COMPLY."

OR ELSE.

They should have said:
WELP, THE LEASE IS UP.

SHE DOESN'T OWE FOR RENT
SO WHY ARE YOU CALLING US?

They aren't the FEE program. 
To get fees from people.

Tomorrow, I'll go PAY
the FEE they so desperately 
NEED me to pay
SO EVERYONE CAN SEE THE RECEIPT.

TO KEEP A ROOF OVER MY HEAD FFS.

But, I'll also be asking around...
TO SEE IF THERE IS A LOOPHOLE
FOR PEOPLE NOT TO WEAPONIZE
CITY PROGRAMS
AGAINST FORMER RESIDENTS.

Because, if there is one....

THEY STAKED THEIR REPUTATION ON IT.
BANKING ON IT BEING IN THEIR FAVOR!

THAT'S NOT WHAT THE PROGRAMS ARE FOR!

AND BANKING ON ME NOT BEING ABLE TO "AFFORD" THE "FEE".
AND TO BE PUT "OUT."

OUT OF THE PROGRAM.
THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE HELPING ME.

So then, THEY WILL WISH
THEY NEVER DID IT
AND JUST SUCKED UP THE FEE.

WHY THREATEN ME OVER IT?
LIKE THIS?

To literally PULL A HEAVY.

AND NO, I WILL SAY SOMETHING ABOUT IT
BECAUSE THIS IS BS.

They think they can JUST DO IT
because nobody's watching. 

Welp, maybe the proof
that they are doing it...

Says something
THAT NOT DOING IT
DOESN'T. 

Frustrated, but disappointed
in the "system"
that's literally setting me up to FAIL.

IT'S HARD FOR YOU?
WELP, NOT HARD ENOUGH.

FAIL FAIL FAIL!

WHAT?! SHE DODGED OUR TRAP?!
AND LET US PAINT OURSELVES
INTO A CORNER?

DAMN RIGHT I DID.
NICE TRY.

If I'm paying my RENT 
WTF is their problem?

Take your fees from the rent.

SOMETIMES MY HEAD HURTS SO BAD
I COULD FKN PUKE.

AND THEY WANT TO PUT THIS ON ME?

And if I had a medical emergency
and was in the hospital
while THEIR TIME LIMIT
RAN OUT, 

I WOULDN'T HAVE A HOME
TO FKN GO BACK TO FFS.

Would I have to stay at the hospital then?

Or scramble to find "somewhere"
with no "access" to "my stuff."

BECAUSE THEY'D TOSS IT OUT
AND CHARGE ME FOR DOING IT FFS.

LIKE THEY ARE CHARGING ME
FOR "HAVING TO"
"TOSS" "SOME STUFF."

THAT I RAN OUT OF TIME & MONEY
TO BRING WITH ME.

And if I left a bedbug infested couch there
for them to throw out...

OH WAIT! I DIDN'T!!!!

Or if I left a bedbug infested BED there
for them to throw out...

OH WAIT! I DIDN'T!!!!

AND THEY WANT TO TAKE HALF MY MONEY.

HALF. THANKS.

"Thanks for being a resident here...
We want half your money, 
OR WE'LL HOLD YOUR SUBSIDY HOSTAGE" LOL. 

That's literally what they are doing. 

So may as well come out and say it.
TO ME. TO MY FACE.
NOT TO THE PROGRAMS LOL. 

WHAT DO THEY HAVE TO DO
WITH THE FACT MY RENT'S PAID? LOL.

ANYTHING? NOTHING? SO THEN?

That's what p*sses me off. 
I don't owe them RENT
so they put this fee on me LOL. 

THEY COULDN'T BULLY ME
WITH A FORM I DIDN'T NEED TO SIGN LOL. 

WHICH MADE THEM LOOK LIKE @SSHATS.

I GUESS THIS "TACTIC" MAKES THEM LOOK BETTER! LOL. 

THEY COULDN'T GO THROUGH ME
AFTER MY LEASE WAS UP. 

AND COULDN'T TRACK ME DOWN FOR IT
BECAUSE THAT WOULD HAVE INFRINGED
ON MY RIGHT TO PRIVACY. 

So was there any OTHER way? LOL.

OVER FKN $420!!!!!!! 

AFTER GETTING LEFT HANGING
FOR $550!!!!!

I have someone to talk to about it.
To see what he thinks about it
and to ask if he knows anyone
who knows someone etc. 

That's what I am doing tomorrow.

GOING ALL THE WAY DOWN THERE
TO PAY THEM THEIR PRECIOUS $420

BUT I WILL BE DISCUSSING IT
WITH PROOF IT EVEN HAPPENED.

While I sleep on a mattress on the floor
because I had to throw my couch out,
I had to throw my bed out.

AND THEY COULD HAVE AFFORDED
NOT TO TAKE HALF MY MONEY LOL. 

AND AFFORDED
NOT TO MAKE THEMSELVES
LOOK LIKE THIS.

And they aren't threatening
my tenancy where I was, 
they are threatening it
WHERE I MOVED TO
BECAUSE OF THEM 
WANTING THEIR FEE FFS.

And if they didn't go through the program
to threaten me for it
THEY WOULDN'T BE GETTING IT.

AND THEY KNOW THIS.

That's what p*sses me off about it.

The programs that are supposed to be helping
are setting me up to fail
OVER A FKN FEE FFS.

NOT RENT! A FEE!

I mean, sure, if I had back rent....
Going back MONTHS....

THEN COME AFTER ME FOR IT.

BUT TO USE A PROGRAM TO DO IT
IS FKN INSANE.

And they want my money
BUT CAN'T BE BOTHERED
TO CALL ME BACK ABOUT IT.

OR SPEAK TO ME ABOUT IT.

They had ALL MORNING
TO CHECK OUT MY APARTMENT
THE DAY I CAME BY
TO GIVE THEM THE KEYS BACK.

DID THEY? DID THEY SAY ANYTHING? NO?

That's fkn BS.

TO FKN WAIT
UNTIL I'VE ALREADY LEFT
AND NOT SPEAK TO ME ABOUT IT.

It concerned ME.
So talk to ME.

BUT EVERYONE NEEDS THE RECEIPT FFS.

But doesn't mean
THAT I CAN'T TALK ABOUT IT.

UNLESS WHAT?
THEY PAY ME NOT TO?

DOESN'T LOOK LIKE
THEY ARE THROWING MONEY AT ME NOT TO LOL.

Should they be?
To "protect" their "stellar rep"
as a company that "wouldn't do that"?

Fuming and stressing about it
isn't going to change anything. 

And if there is a loophole
IN MY FAVOR, 

YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT
I'LL BE LOOKING INTO THAT.

Because why should they be allowed
to literally STICK PEOPLE.

NOT JUST TO STICK PEOPLE
BUT TO THREATEN THEM
TO DO IT?

IS THAT WHAT THE PROGRAM IS FOR?
BECAUSE I'VE COMPLIED
UP UNTIL THIS POINT.

AND I WILL PAY THE DAMN FEE
TO GET THESE @SSHATS OFF MY BACK ABOUT IT.

IF THERE WAS NO PROGRAM
TO GO TO BEHIND MY BACK
THERE'D BE NO WAY OF GETTING IT FFS.

But to hold my CURRENT residence
over my head to get it?

How is that even justifiable?
For a FEE?

So I'll go somewhere tomorrow.
To talk about it,
to see what they say about it.

Because if there is something
that CAN be done, YES.

DAMN RIGHT.

I want this BS to fkn STOP.

Was stressful enough to move
AND BARELY AFFORD TO DO IT.

AND NOW MY FORMER LANDLORD
WANTS TO STICK ME?
ON MY WAY OUT?

I ALREADY LEFT!!!!

A neighbor, there, down the hall...

HE LEFT THE FKN COUNTRY
BECAUSE OF THESE FKRS
GIVING OUR COUNTRY A BAD NAME.

WHAT'S THAT SAY?

If all the residents
WHO COULD AFFORD TO MOVE
KNEW ABOUT THE BEDBUG 
INFESTATIONS
THEY WOULDN'T BE
OUT OF THERE FAST ENOUGH,
LIKE ME.

GONNA CHASE EVERYONE DOWN
FOR THEIR FEES TOO?

OR JUST ME?

Chase them down to ANOTHER COUNTRY?
FOR $420?

And what would they do?
Just re-fill the "units"
with more "residents"

UNTIL THEY FIND OUT, TOO. 

MAYBE CHARGE THE BEDBUGS FEES
FOR THEIR OWN EXTERMINATION FFS.

BECAUSE THEY ARE "RESIDENTS" TOO, RIGHT?

SHOULDN'T THEY GET FEES TOO?
OR GET CHASED FOR RENT?

These blood suckers are even worse ffs.

THE BEDBUGS MADE NO THREATS TO ME
GIVE US YOUR BLOOD OR ELSE!

THEY TOOK WHAT THEY WANTED
WITHOUT ANY THREATS.

LIKE THEY COULD HAVE DONE, RIGHT?
HAD THE MONEY
WHEN I GAVE BACK THEIR KEYS.

SO DID THEY HAVE TO GO THROUGH
THE PROGRAM TO THREATEN ME?

NOPE. THEY CHOSE TO DO THAT.

Over a FEE, not past rent due, or because
I BUSTED THE TOILET
OR SOMETHING OF THAT NATURE...

Because I ran out of time and money.

THEY HAD THE TIME, 
THEY HAD THE MONEY.

WOULD HAVE BEEN NOTHING, TO THEM. 

TO JUST LET ME LEAVE
WITHOUT THIS SH*T.

Would have been absolutely NOTHING, TO THEM.
Shouldn't have been anything, to them. 

Definitely not to go out of their way to do this LOL.
Because they literally went out of their way.

TO MAKE ME GO OUT OF MY WAY.
NOT TO ASK ME, TO MAKE ME.

I guess they are asking me by making me.
"Asking for it."

BUT A LOT OF PEOPLE
DON'T LIKE FKN BULLIES.

WHO THINK THERE IS NO CONSEQUENCE FOR IT.

Because I'm pretty sure they've done this before.
AND IF THEY HADN'T DONE IT TO ME, 
HOW WOULD I KNOW
THEY WERE DOING THIS SH*T?

I NEEDED PROOF THAT THEY ARE, 
WHICH I HAVE, NOW,
BECAUSE THEY PUT IT IN WRITING
INSTEAD OF TALKING TO ME ABOUT 
AN ISSUE CONCERNING ME FFS.

WHICH THEY COULD HAVE JUST DONE, 
WITHOUT THIS. 

But hard to do
IF I LEFT CANADA
DUE TO THEIR BS LOL. 

WHICH HAPPENED
IN AT LEAST ONE CASE.

BECAUSE WHY WOULD ANYONE
WANT TO LIVE LIKE THAT?

WOULD YOU?
WOULD THEY?

They should have to live
on their own property
AND SEE WHAT IT'S LIKE.

And if they needed any program
TO HAVE A ROOF OVER THEIR HEAD
THEY CAN SEE WHAT IT'S LIKE
TO BE "THREATENED" OVER $420 LOL. 

But the fact that they are even TRYING ME
AFTER I MOVED OUT?
AFTER MY LEASE WAS UP?

It's not like I fkd off
WITHOUT BREAKING MY LEASE WITH THEM.
IN THE PROPER WAY, EVEN.

WITHOUT PAYING MY RENT, EVEN.

Because, then, they'd really have a REASON
to come at me, right?

With all their "calvery." LOL.
Bring out the "heavy artillery."
"She won't go down, easily."

What do they want me to say?
That they're WONDERFUL?
That they don't have bedbugs?

That they don't stick people
ON THEIR WAY OUT?

AND THEY JUST LET THEM LEAVE FFS?

BECAUSE THEY DON'T JUST LET YOU LEAVE.
APPARENTLY.

Look how they acted and treated me
WHEN THEY WANTED ME
TO SIGN THE WRONG FORM FFS.

AND THEY WANT TO ACT LIKE THIS
AND TREAT ME LIKE THIS
OVER A FKN FEE?

ALL BECAUSE I LEFT THINGS
IN THE APARTMENT
THAT I DIDN'T HAVE ENOUGH TIME TO
OR MONEY TO TAKE WITH ME.

Gives them a right to take half my money, though
AND GO THROUGH THE CITY TO DO IT.

BECAUSE THEY CAN'T
CONTACT ME THEMSELVES
BECAUSE MY ACCOUNT
WAS TERMINATED.

WHICH MEANS THERE'S NO ACCOUNT.
BECAUSE MY LEASE ENDED.

So why wait like 2 weeks?
AFTER I MOVED OUT?

COULDN'T THEY HAVE SAID SOMETHING?
WHEN I WAS GIVING BACK THEIR KEYS?

What are they going to do next?
CHARGE ME FOR REPLACING KEYS
THEY LOST?

And they'd go behind my back to do it LOL.

BECAUSE WHY SAY ANYTHING TO MY FACE!!!!?

IT'S EASIER NOT TO, I GUESS.
TO TALK TO EVERYONE ELSE
ABOUT ME
SO THEY ALL CAN "THREATEN" ME LOL.

Over $420. They'll get their $420. 
You bet they will. 

But, I will be discussing these dirty tactics.

Not paying me NOT to, right?

NOT TO SHOW PROOF OF WHAT THEY ARE DOING. 
BECAUSE THEY PUT IT RIGHT IN MY HAND LOL. 

I'd gladly pay them $420 to sue their @sses.
Damn right!

EVEN TO WATCH THEM SQUIRM OVER IT
LIKE THEY WANT TO MAKE ME SQUIRM
OVER THIS.

EXPECTING ME TO SQUIRM OVER IT LOL. 

Am I? Or am I prepared?
Are they, though?

BECAUSE THEY PROBABLY
WON'T SEE IT COMING. 

And they want me to pay it in FULL.
Which I will do.

GAVE ME NO OPTION
TO PAY IT OFF INCREMENTALLY
IF I COULDN'T PAY IT IN FULL.

The social worker I spoke to said
I could probably negotiate a payment plan.

It would take 21 months to pay them $20/month LOL.
Why would I want to do that?

To give them the satifaction
THAT THEY ARE MAKING ME PAY IT
OR ELSE? LOL. 

WHY WOULD I WANT ANY MORE DEALINGS?

When I gave back the keys
AND THEY SAID FK ALL TO ME, 
WE SHOULD HAVE HAD OUR BUSINESS
CONCLUDED.

NOT ALL LIKE: "BY THE WAY...."
THROUGH THE FKN CITY!!!!!

Did I leave hoards of dirty, decaying diapers?
STACKS OF DIRTY DISHES?

BROKEN GLASS EVERYWHERE?
BROKEN TOILET THAT WON'T FLUSH?
WITH A SH*T & P*SS TOILET PAPER
AND PERIOD PAD HILL
FOR THEM TO "REMOVE"?

OR WAS THE PLACE SWEPT? YEAH?

And even IF I FKN DID, DIDN'T, 
BUT EVEN IF I FKN DID...

IF I WASN'T IN "ASSISTED" HOUSING
HOW COULD THEY COME FOR ME FOR IT?

THEY COULDN'T!!!!!

BUT DID I DO THAT, THOUGH? NO?

That is my point.
THEY COULDN'T COME FOR ME FOR IT.

IF THEY DIDN'T KNOW
WHERE I WENT.

BUT THEY KNEW WHO DID KNOW, RIGHT?

JUST TO MAKE THINGS HARDER
THAN THEY HAD TO BE
IF THEY HAD JUST TALKED TO ME
THEMSELVES?

LIKE THEY COULD HAVE DONE
WITHOUT THIS BS?

THEY HAD THE TIME TO ASK ME?
TO GO LOOK FOR THEMSELVES?
TO PROVIDE ME WITH OPTIONS?

SO WE COULD HAVE SETTLED IT
BETWEEN THEM AND I?

NOT HAVE TO SETTLE IT WITH THEM
AND EVERYONE ELSE.
OVER A FEE!

I've seen places COMPLETELY DESTROYED. 
MINE WAS SO FAR FROM THAT.

BECAUSE I KNOW BETTER
THAN TO FKN DO THAT.

EVEN THOUGH THEY GAVE ME "REASONS"
TO TREAT THE PLACE
LIKE THE GUYS FROM J@CK@SS
TREATED HOTEL ROOMS
OR RENTED CARS LOL.

And then they'd have "reasons"
REAL REASONS
TO COME AFTER ME LOL.

"She busted the toilet, it won't flush."
She owes us for a new toilet.

Fine, okay. 
Understandable.

DID I LEAVE THE PLACE
WITH SH*T AND PUKE EVERYWHERE?

DID I "MISS THE TOILET"
AND JUST LEFT IT THERE, FOR THEM?

There weren't any CLEANING FEES.
JUST REMOVAL FEES.

NO REPAIR FEES.
NO RENT DUE.

But heaven forbid
YOU PHYSICALLY
AND FINANCIALLY
COULDN'T?

And if I had a raging migraine that day?
If I'd been puking all day?

If it hurt me to even walk that day?
TOO. FKN. BAD.

IF I DIDN'T EVEN HAVE
THE HELP I DID HAVE?

IF IT WAS JUST ME
AND THE MOVERS
I COULD BARELY AFFORD TO PAY?

AND COULDN'T EVEN TIP THEM FFS.
WOULD HAVE BEEN NICE
TO BE ABLE TO HAVE DONE, RIGHT?

But nope. Fk you, A***.
Nobody gaf.

Okay, they don't.
THEY DON'T "HAVE TO."
NOT AT ALL.

NEITHER DO I, THOUGH.

And I could have D E S T R O Y E D the place.
Did I do that, though?

SEEN PEOPLE DO IT
AND THEY WEREN'T ON THE HOOK FOR IT.
BECAUSE THEY COULDN'T DO
A DAMN THING ABOUT IT.
RIGHT?

Because HOW could they track them down?
WITHOUT violating their right to privacy?
Could they? No?

AND ALL I DID WAS I LEFT SOME THINGS BEHIND?
WOW! CRIME OF THE CENTURY!

WORTH GOING BEHIND MY BACK
AND THREATENING ME OVER?

It should be criminal to make that a crime
WHEN I COULD HAVE DONE
SO MUCH WORSE, RIGHT?

WHY DIDN'T I?

BECAUSE:
"JUST BECAUSE YOU COULD
DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD."

Sure, I could have done so much WORSE.
And they'd be FKD.
If they couldn't go through the city
to charge me for it LOL.

That "file" on me
MUST BE GETTING PRETTY THICK LOL. 

"Dust it off" every time I do something "wrong."
Just to "high five" each other
when they think:

"Got her GOOD this time!
She won't be able to "recover" from this!"

"And she'll be "homeless"!" Tee freaking Hee.

WHAT IF I WAS SO HEAVILY MEDICATED
THAT I COULD HARDLY MOVE?

OR BLIND?
AND COULDN'T SEE
IF I WAS LEAVING ANYTHING BEHIND
OR NOT?

WOULD THEY "ROB ME BLIND"?

They'd still probably
FIND A WAY OR MAKE ONE.

BUT it wasn't a RENT related ISSUE,
WAS IT? NO?

IF it was wayyyy worse than it was, okay. 
THAT I can understand. 

BUT TO DO THAT?
OVER THAT?

When I thought they couldn't be ANY WORSE
THEY LITERALLY ARE.

Anyway, I need to sleep.

Sunday, March 30, 2025

How's That (Part 2)

Maybe I've been extra grumpy lately
because of the BS
that persisted
EVEN AFTER I MOVED OUT
OF THERE.

Bad enough the BS
WHILE I WAS THERE.

The company they took over from...
They were bad enough, 

but since then, 
things have gone downhill. 

AND SOMETHING
NEEDS TO BE SAID ABOUT IT.

I really don't want to be the one
to have to say it.

Being pushed to be the one to do it
ISN'T COOL, EITHER.

AS UNCOOL AS IT IS
TO EVEN HAVE SOMETHING
TO BRING UP.

And things like that
shouldn't have to be
BROUGHT UP.

Because they shouldn't even
BE A THING. AT ALL.

I'll probably go to bed "early" tonight.

Tonight, going on a "run,"
I saw a dude, bent all the way forward, 
like inches away
from falling on his face, 
with a pipe still in his hand ffs.

And you see some "tweakers"
"tweaking" right tf out...

They call it the "m#th dance."
Where they are acting all irradic etc. 

I's fkn SAD.
That THIS is Canada
in this day and age.

But people can just
"turn a blind eye"
TO THE REALITY OF IT.

And it seems people like 
to ask me if I want to buy drugs. 

I got asked, tonight, 
if I wanted to buy "coke."

I HAD TO ASK HIM TWICE
WHAT HE EVEN SAID. 

DID HE SAY WHAT I THINK HE SAID?
HAD TO BE SURE.

I'd stopped and looked at a bag.
It was in one of the planters.

I was curious about it, 
but it was full of stuff, 
didn't open it to see what was in it.

Probably someone coming back for it
so I just left it there.

When I turned around, there was that guy...
Asking me if I want "coke."

Getting tired of that.
Pretty much on a daily basis, almost.

Every few days, something like that.

But they all can sweat knowing that I know.
And nothing changes that
because they can't UNASK ME.

My doctor can't unask me
IF I DO "COKE."

Why? Because I sometimes have
"manic episodes"?

Because I can entertain myself, easily?

Why "do coke" when you can do
a multitude of other things.

Things that aren't related to drugs.

The neighbor who came with me
to the beer store, yesterday...

We went to the park across from it, 
found a bench away from everyone else.

We went there to "smoke one."

He wanted me to "hold onto"
his "stuff"
so he could get set up to "roll one."

So as he's putting it in my hand...
A "piece" dropped through the slats of the bench.

Onto the ground.

I looked under the bench.
"Is it h@sh??"

"Yeah."

"Then I found it."

I had to be sure
because I didn't want to mistake it
for something else LOL.

Wasn't sure if it was a nug 
or h@sh I was looking for.

I just felt it "miss" my hand
and knew it fell under the bench.

Anyway, there's a flock of pigeons
near he park. 

And we were talking about them, a bit.

He sys they carry diseases
because of all the filth 
they're in, daily.

Is it their fault this city is dirty and nasty?

Just wanted me to look at them
as dirty and nasty creatures.

BECAUSE OF THE FILTH.

There's a building near the park. 

And I swear I saw some movement
in one of the windows...

It's hard to say what the building actually is.

There's one downtown...
It is tall, but has no windows
on any of the floors.

Pretty weird.

Then, there's that "security" "campus"
that I stumbled upon one night.
Near where I used to live.

I guess that what I miss is the familiarity
of the place I used to live.

BUT DEFINITELT NOT THE BS.

My places I liked to go.

My old "circuits."

"Walking it off"
"Blowing off steam"

Or just getting a "bucket full of fresh air."

Lately it's been kinda windy. 

My neighbor told me how I can make
a frame for my green house.

With bamboo poles.

When I even get the chance.

I thought, for sure, 
THAT EVERYTHING WAS
SQUARE WITH THESE FRIGGERS.

Almost waiting for the next "thing"
or "tactic" or whatever.

Almost feels like it's not ovr
until it's over. Y'know?

There's a guy who lives in the building.
He wanted a DVD player.

I had 2 of them "laying around"
that I wasn't using.

He said "How much do you want for them?"
I said "just take them."

Yesterday, I saw him, stepping off the elevator.

I was heading out, he was headed upstairs.

He dumped some change in my hand
and said "see you later."

Like he was going to wait until later
because he wanted to give me some money.

For the DVD players or whatever.

Even though I said "just take them."

I'm thinking about asking him
to ask his son to look at the phones I have.

He said his son can fix them. 

"Forget paying me for those.
Just ask your son to look at a couple of phones for me."

Anyway, it was like he wanted to give me
whatever money he had on him at time.

So he dumped whatever change he had in his pocket
into my hand. 

And it was over $6 in cans.

Anything over $5 is pretty good, for me.

Some people can make $30+ 
if they have a cart or wagon, etc.

If people drive into the lot
and pop their trunk
for you to take out boxes
of bottles...

That doesn't happen to me.
But I've seen it happening. 

They gave me a box. 

$6 is 60 cans.

In one night.

That's looking around "downtown."

And the weather hasn't even been decent, yet.

A DOLLAR HERE AND THERE, ADDS UP.

The cans are going to be there, anyway, 
until someone else gets them.

Most of the sidewalks have been "picked" clean.

Some people collect the soda cans and whatnot to take to Quebec.
They hve the machines that crush even soda bottles.











Friday, March 28, 2025

How About That?

The other night, I went out for a "run."
Got more than I thought I would.

On my way back, though, I was walking past a guy...

He says : "HEY!"

I turned around "What do you want?"

He jerked his fkn head at me.

To say "come here."

I said "No. I don't know YOU.
Don't order ME around 'come here'
F*ck you."

That p*ssed me off.

Like I was just supposed to drop everything
RIGHT THERE AND THEN
JUST TO SEE WTF HE WANTED?

AND IS IT UP TO ME
TO OBEY HIS "COMMANDS"?

JUST TO GO OVER TO HIM
BECAUSE HE JERKED HIS FKN HEAD AT ME?

THAT really p*ssed me off.

No, bud. Don't know you.

And he must have wanted something
OR WHY FKN BOTHER ME AT ALL?
WAS I BOTHERING HIM?

What was he going to do?
Ask me if I wanted to buy some crack, too?

And why did I leave HIM alone?
BECAUSE I DIDN'T WANT ANYTHING FROM HIM. 

I WAS CONTENT TO LET HIM
CARRY ON WITH HIS NIGHT.

But I was already walking away.

So why "HEY!"
And then jerk your head at me
WHEN I ASK YOU WTF YOU WANT?

And even IF I wanted anything from him, 
anything...

DOES HE OWE ME ANYTHING?
JUST BECAUSE I WANT IT?

NO? THEN DO I? NO.

Do I owe it to you
TO JUST COME RIGHT OVER TO YOU
JUST BECAUSE YOU JERK YOUR HEAD AT ME?

Some people need to be told NO.
Even if it p*sses them off.

If someone like me hadn't told the guy
to go fk himself, 

he'd just jerk his head at whoever.

Thinking he's the kind of guy
WHO CAN JUST DO THAT
AND GET WHAT HE WANTS.

HE CAN GO FK HIMSELF. 

That sh*t's not gonna work with me.

When I walked by him, 
he was on the phone.
And just all of a sudden
"needs" me to come over to him?

It's one thing to want to ask something
but he already shouted HEY at me.

And jerked his fkn head at me.

THAT p*ssed me off. 
Because he expected me to just obey him. 

To come right over to him, just like that.
With a jerk of his head ffs.

If I have to be the one to say it....
I'd rather not be.

But if I'm pushed to be...
I'd still rather not be, 
but, I guess I WILL be.

Why should I have to tell people
TO GO FK THEMSELVES?

AND THEY ACT SURPRISED WHEN I DO IT.

Should have seen the shock on his face
WHEN I TOLD HIM NO.

HE WAS EXPECTING ME TO OBEY, 
NOT "CHALLENGE" HIM. 
NOT TO STRAIGHT UP TELL HIM NO.

PROBABLY NOT USED TO HEARING NO.

BUT SOME PEOPLE NEED TO BE TOLD NO.

When my son was a baby, 
if he was across the room
and I couldn't get to him fast enough
to get him to stop doing something, 

I'd get his attention by clapping my hands.
Once I had his attention. 
I'd tell him no.

He knew what no meant. 
He'd cry about being told no.
but he knew no still meant no.

BUT, Someone heard me
CLAPPING MY HANDS TOGETHER
TO GET HIS ATTENTION
AND HEARD HIM CRYING
AFTER I SAID NO TO HIM

AND ASSUMED I WAS HITTING HIM FFS.

So I had to explain THAT to CAS.

Someone my family knew, used to work for CAS
and she wrote a book about them.
Wasn't "allowed" to publish it.

Because it exposed all their BS.
How they really "operate."

I know, from my own experiences, 
how they "operate."

And she should have been "allowed"
TO TELL THE TRUTH.

FOR ALL TO KNOW.

AND IF THEY HAD NOTHIG TO "HIDE"
THEY SHOULDN'T HAVE HAD
ANY PROBLEM WITH THAT, RIGHT?

SINCE THEY "OPERATE"
IN EVERYONE'S "BEST INTERESTS." 

The only interests they are concerned with
ARE THEIR OWN. 

AND AS SAD AS IT IS TO SAY, 
IT SEEMS THAT GOES FOR A LOT OF PEOPLE.

I'M JUST TIRED OF BEING FKN TIRED
OF THIS SH*T.