Maybe this post will even get a PART 3...
Anyway... As I was saying in PART 1...
If someone (anyone)....
IS TOO BUSY BEING SUPERFICIAL.....
THEY ARE "TOO BUSY BEING SUPERFICIAL"
TO KNOW CERTAIN THINGS.
And let me put it this way.....
CAN YOU MAKE DECISIONS ON THINGS
THAT YOU DON'T KNOW?
YES OR NO?
IF YOU TRY TO....
WHAT DECISIONS ARE THOSE GOING TO BE?
SUPERFICIAL?
GOOD DECISIONS?????
IMPORTANT ONES????
One thing that happened recently....
As an EXAMPLE....
I met someone through a group
THAT ISN'T MEANT FOR "DATING."
IT'S FOR MEETING PEOPLE. LOCALLY.
BUT A LOT OF PEOPLE
SEEM TO STILL....
TRY TO USE IT....
BECAUSE THEY WANT TO "DATE."
IT ISN'T FOR THAT.
IF THEY WANT TO DATE,
THERE ARE PLENTY OF DATING SITES!
SO... I WAS TALKING TO A MALE.
HE TOLD ME TODAY....
THAT HE DOESN'T THINK THAT WE ARE
LOOKING FOR THE SAME THINGS.
BECAUSE HE WANTS TO DATE.
1) HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW ME AS A PERSON YET!
WHAT IF WE AREN'T CAPATIBLE TO DATE EACH OTHER?
HOW WOULD HE KNOW THAT?
IF WE DON'T KNOW EACH OTHER?
WANTING TO DATE....
DOESN'T MEAN THAT YOU CAN TALK TO SOMEONE
FOR 1 NIGHT
AND CONSIDER DATING THEM.
YOU COULD, BUT.....
DO YOU KNOW IF YOU ARE COMPATIBLE
BASED ON ONE 1 CONVERSATION?
COMPATIBLE AS PEOPLE, EVEN AS FRIENDS?
BUT PEOPLE LOOK AT ME LIKE:
SHE'S SINGLE! AND I WANT TO DATE!
1) NOT ALL SINGLE PEOPLE WANT TO DATE
2) AND WANTING TO DATE DOESN'T MEAN COMPATIBILITY.
#2 I HAD TO LEARN THE HARD WAY.
I EARNED THAT.
I'M GIVING IT TO YOU....
SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO LEARN IT...
THE WAY THAT I DID.
IT WASN'T FUN TO LEARN IT
THE WAY THAT I LEARNED IT.
Only compatibility means COMPATIBILITY.
AND IF YOU ARE "TOO BUSY WANTING TO DATE"
TO KNOW CERTAIN THINGS....
AS AN EXAMPLE....
YOU WILL NOT SEE CERTAIN THINGS...
THAT AFFECT.... COMPATIBILITY.
Wanting to date... Is one thing....
BUT WHY CONSIDER DATING SOMEONE
YOU DON'T KNOW??????!!!!!
I've dated a few I DIDN'T KNOW WELL ENOUGH
TO KNOW THAT WE WEREN'T COMPATIBLE!!!!!!!!!
BECAUSE???? I WANTED TO DATE!
That is an example.
Another example....
IF SOMEONE IS "TOO BUSY WANTING TO BE RIGHT"
THEY WON'T SEE CERTAIN THINGS.
WANTING TO BE RIGHT....
DOESN'T MEAN THAT THEY ARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
THEY WON'T EVEN SEE THAT THEY AREN'T LISTENING!
AND THAT THEY DON'T WANT TO LISTEN!
AND IF THEY DON'T..... HOW WOULD THEY KNOW?????
WHAT COULD THEY KNOW....
IF THEY DID????
MORE THAN IF THEY DON'T?????
MAYBE!
MAYBE THEY'LL HAVE SOMETHING TO....
THINK ABOUT.....
IF THEY DID????
BUT????? "TOO BUSY WANTING TO BE RIGHT"
MEANS THEY THINK THEY ARE RIGHT
BECAUSE THEY WANT TO BE RIGHT.
SO MUCH THAT THEY THINK THEY ARE!!!!!!!!!!
THINKING THEY ARE....
IS NOT THE SAME AS....
ACTUALLY BEING RIGHT.
ABOUT ANYTHING OR ANYONE.
EVEN ABOUT THEMSELVES!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DID I THINK I WAS GOING TO STAY SOBER FOR 12 YEARS?
WHEN I FIRST QUIT DRINKING?
PROBABLY NOT!
BUT IF I DIDN'T THINK SO.....
I WAS EITHER GOING TO BE RIGHT.... OR WRONG.
...... IT APPLIES TO POLITICS IN ALL FORMS TOO.
NOT JUST GOVERNMENT POLITICS.
SOCIAL POLITICS, TOO.
THINKING THEY ARE "RIGHT"
ISN'T THE SAME AS BEING RIGHT.
THAT'S WHY OPINIONS.........
ARE JUST FKN OPINIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
NOT FACTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
THAT'S WHY ASSUMPTIONS.....
ARE JUST FKN ASSUMPTIONS!!!!!!!!!!!
NOT FACTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WE CAN EVEN GET "FACTS" WRONG.
RIGHT?
BECAUSE CONFLICTING FACTS....
CAN'T BOTH BE TRUE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ONLY ONE CAN!
ONLY WHAT IS ACTUALLY TRUE.....
CAN BE ACTUALLY TRUE!
AND IF SOMEONE WANTS TO "HATE" ME
BECAUSE OF SOMETHING THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW
IF IT'S TRUE OR NOT....
WHAT WOULD IT MATTER?
WHAT WOULD ANYTHING I HAD TO SAY MATTER?
OR THOUGHT?
OR KNEW TO BE TRUE?
WOULD ONLY MATTER TO ME!
NOT TO THEM!
It does kind of bother me...
TO EXPLAIN THESE THINGS....
BUT IF I DON'T????????
THEN WHAT?
Maybe I might want to date again, one day.....
BUT IF I DON'T RIGHT NOW.....
THAT MEANS I DON'T RIGHT NOW.
IS ANYONE TAKING THE TIME TO GET TO KNOW ME?
TO SEE IF WE MIGHT BE COMPATIBLE....
BECAUSE COMPATIBILITY MATTERS MORE
THAN SUPERFICIAL SH*T LIKE "ATTRACTION."
I saw a show.... It's not in Canada. I saw it online.
It's called "Naked Attraction."
THEY SEE EACH OTHER NUDE....
TO DECIDE AS A FACTOR....
IF THEY WANT TO DATE EACH OTHER.
IT IS A DATING SHOW.
COMPLETE OPPOSITE....
OF.... ANOTHER SHOW I SAW.....
CALLED "DATING IN THE DARK."
PEOPLE ON THAT SHOW.....
HAD "DATED" IN A DARK ROOM.
THEY COULD NOT SEE EACH OTHER.
THEY CONNECTED.... AS PEOPLE.
IF THEY DID, AT ALL.
AT THE END OF THE SHOW....
THEY GOT TO SEE EACH OTHER....
AND GOT TO THEN CHOOSE....
IF THEY STILL CHOSE EACH OTHER.
"PHYSICAL ATTRACTION"
ISN'T MUCH MORE THAN A "FACTOR."
THAT'S ABOUT IT.
AREN'T THERE OTHER FACTORS?
YES.
SO IF YOU BASE IT ON ONE FACTOR....
YOU MIGHT NOT SEE OTHER FACTORS.
OTHER FACTORS THAT MATTER MORE.
LIKE..... COMPATIBILITY.
When I think about compatibility....
I sometimes think about batteries.
"ARE THESE THE RIGHT BATTERIES
FOR THIS DEVICE?"
BECAUSE SOMETHING THAT TAKES
TRIPLE A BATTERIES....
DOESN'T TAKE DOUBLE-A BATTERIES.
OR C BATTERIES, OR D BATTERIES.
ONLY....????? TRIPLE A BATTERIES!
It's like that. In real life.
SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE TRIPLE A BATTERIES.
SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE DOUBLE-A BATTERIES.
SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE C BATTERIES.
SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE D BATTERIES.
IF THEY DON'T FIT, THEY DON'T FIT
AND THE DEVICE WON'T WORK.
WITHOUT THE RIGHT BATTERIES.
THE BATTERIES THAT FIT THAT DEVICE.
Same goes for HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS.
EVEN HEALTHY FRIENDSHIPS.
EVEN HEALTHY ASSOCIATIONS!!!!!!!!
Another thing about "the fancy bag" analogy I used....
In Part 1...
When I was in college...
There was a girl in my class...
Who came to school with a new purse.
IT WAS A FANCY PURSE.
IT COST.... AT THAT TIME... $800.
MEANWHILE.... I WAS PAYING $800
FOR RENT.
I WOULD RATHER PAY RENT
THAN BUY A FANCY PURSE.
AND THAT IS MY PREROGATIVE TOO.
THIS WAS 20 YEARS AGO....
22 YEARS AGO, ACTUALLY.
A PURSE LIKE THAT WOULD PROBABLY
COST EVEN MORE TODAY.
THAN IT DID 22 YEARS AGO.
NOT THE POINT, BUT IT WOULD.
THE POINT IS THAT SOME PEOPLE THINK....
THAT HAVING XYZ.....
WILL GET THEM ADMIRATION....
JUST FOR HAVING XYZ.
THAT IS THE POINT.
AND IF SOMEONE DOESN'T ADMIRE THEM
FOR JUST HAVING XYZ....
THEY FEEL JUDGED.
BY THE PERSON WHO DOESN'T ADMIRE THEM
FOR JUST HAVING XYZ.
AND BECAUSE THEY FEEL JUDGED....
FOR NOT BEING ADMIRED....
FOR JUST HAVING XYZ.....
THEY JUDGE THE PERSON
THEY FEEL JUDGED BY.
EVEN IF THE PERSON WHO DOESN'T ADMIRE THEM
JUST FOR HAVING XYZ....
ISN'T JUDGING THEM FOR HAVING XYZ.
MAYBE THAT PERSON MIGHT JUDGE THEM
FOR JUDGING THEM....
FOR FEELING JUDGED WHEN THEY AREN'T JUDGING....
MAYBE THAT, IF THAT....
BUT NOT JUDGING THEM
FOR HAVING (OR NOT HAVING) XYZ.
BECAUSE JUST HAVING XYZ.....
DOESN'T MATTER TO THAT PERSON.
JUST THAT.
BECAUSE THAT PERSON....
IS CONTENT WITH HAVING
WHAT THEY DO HAVE....
AND ISN'T CHASING SUPERFICIAL THINGS.
ARE THEY JUDGING PEOPLE WHO DO?
NO?
JUST BEING CONTENT WITH WHAT THEY HAVE?
YEAH?
SHOULD THEY BE ALLOWED TO?
TO JUST BE CONTENT?
WITH WHAT THEY HAVE?
AND BE CONTENT WITHOUT CHASING ANYTHING?
EVEN "ADMIRATION"
OR WHATEVER IT SEEMS
THAT SOME OTHER PEOPLE WANT?
WHY SHOULD THEY PUT SOMETHING THEY WANT
ABOVE THINGS THAT ARE ACTUALLY MORE IMPORTANT?
SHOULD THEY DO THAT?
BECAUSE IF THEY DO....
THEY MISS THE PLOT.
Whether they want:
TO DATE
TO BE RIGHT
TO BE ADMIRED FOR WHAT THEY HAVE
TO HAVE APPROVAL THEY DON'T ACTUALLY NEED
FROM THE PEOPLE THEY DON'T NEED IT FROM....
WE CAN WANT ALL KINDS OF THINGS!!!!!!!!!
MATERIAL THINGS....
SUPERFICIAL THINGS....
THINGS THAT "LOOK GOOD FROM THE OUTSIDE."
WAS IT A "PRETTY" $800 PURSE? SURE.
BUT????? RENT PAID ON TIME IS IMPORTANT.
HAVING A PLACE TO LIVE IS IMPORTANT.
STABILITY IS IMPORTANT.
MORE IMPORTANT THAN AN $800 PURSE.
THAT IS THE POINT.
I CAN GO TO THE STORE....
BUY $2O OF YARN...
AND MAKE MYSELF A PURSE IF I WANTED A PURSE.
AND I CAN BE HAPPY WITH THE PURSE I MADE.
AN $800 PURSE DOESN'T = HAPPINESS.
ALL IT IS... IS AN $800 PURSE.
THAT IS ALL THAT IT IS.
Another example...
Since dudes don't typically buy purses....
A LOT OF DUDES LIKE SPORTS CARS.
A LAMBO.... IS A LAMBO.
A PURSE... IS A PURSE.
THE THINGS.... ARE JUST THINGS.
A LOT OF PEOPLE THINK:
"THIS IS EXPENSIVE.... THEREFORE I MUST VALUE IT MORE."
MORE THAN WHAT????????????
SOMETHING NOT AS "EXPENSIVE"?
MORE THAN THINGS THAT ARE ACTUALLY IMPORTANT
AND HAVE ANOTHER TYPE OF VALUE?
When some think they are choosing something BETTER...
THEY MIGHT NOT REALIZE
WHAT THEY ARE GIVING UP
TO CHOOSE IT.
LIKE HOW 12-YEAR DISCARD.....
THOUGHT HE COULD DISCARD ME....
AND TRY TO "COME BACK"
INTO MY LIFE....
AS THOUGH HE DIDN'T DO THAT.
AND IF SOMEONE ACTS AS THOUGH
IT IS A GAME....
AND I'D BE "WAITING..."
NOPE.
BECAUSE? I DO NOT HAVE TO........
GIVE CHANCES.... LIKE CANDIES.
CHANCES.... ARE CHANCES.
NOT CANDIES.
WAS I GIVEN A CHANCE? NO?
THEN? DO I NEED TO GIVE MORE CHANCES?
TO SOMEONE WHO DIDN'T WANT TO GIVE ME ONE?
AND I'M NOT THE SAME PERSON AS I USED TO BE?
AND IF THEY NEVER KNEW ME ANYWAY?
THEY DON'T KNOW ME NOW, EITHER.
YOU CAN'T "MAKE ME WAIT"
UNTIL YOU "WANT TO BE SERIOUS."
IF THEY WANT TO WALK AWAY, THEY CAN.
IF THEY THINK THEY CAN DO "BETTER", OKAY.
GO FIND IT OUT THERE.
NOT THAT I THINK I'M "BETTER."
I DON'T HAVE TO THINK I'M "BETTER"
TO APPRECIATE THINGS ABOUT MYSELF
THAT APPARENTLY MANY CAN'T SEE.
IS IT OKAY THAT THEY CAN'T? SURE!
IT MATTERS.... THAT I APPRECIATE...
SOME THINGS....
ABOUT MYSELF.
AND I CAN WAIT.
TO BUILD WITH SOMEONE....
WHO SEES ME....
WHEN I'M RIGHT THERE.
NOT AFTER THEY CHOSE SOMETHING
THEY THOUGHT WAS "BETTER."
WOULD HAVE BEEN A WASTE OF MY TIME. RIGHT?
SO THEN?
INSTEAD OF WASTING MY TIME....
I COULD.... WAIT.
DO I HAVE TO GAF HOW LONG IT TAKES?
I USED TO!!!!!!!!!!
BECAUSE WHAT I WANTED..... I REALLY WANTED THAT.
I WANTED IT "NOW"
AND DIDN'T WANT TO WAIT FOR THAT.
SOMETIMES WE MEET PEOPLE....
JUST TO CHOOSE OURSELVES.
SHOULD I HAVE TO "CHASE" LOVE?
TO BE LOVED?
When LOVE was already IN ME....
TO JUST GIVE TO MYSELF?
THE WHOLE TIME?
THAT'S WHY I CAN WAIT.
BECAUSE WHAT I ONCE WANTED....
SHOULDN'T MATTER MORE
THAN JUST THE BASIC THINGS
IN LIFE.
So long as I'm being HONEST....
I WASTED MANY YEARS....
JUST BEING THE WAY THAT I WAS.
I WAS BEING THE WAY THAT I WAS...
MOSTLY BECAUSE I THOUGHT....
THE WAY I THOUGHT.
HMMM. SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT.
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