Sushi & Fruit

I was almost out the door...
I was hungry and was going to go to the grocery store. 
To pick up a few things.

My neighbor stopped by to bring me some sushi and fruit. 
And some bread. 

I just ate all the sushi hahaha. It was pretty good.
It was donated food from an event lol.

It bugged me... A bit... About 12 Year Discard...
WHY IF HE NEVER FKN INTENDED ANYTHING WITH ME?

JUST WHY THEN?

THE FIRST TIME AND THAT RECENT TIME?

JUST TO WASTE MY TIME?
I DON'T FKN GET IT.

TO DISCARD ME AGAIN?
"YOU'RE RIGHT A***! NEVER MATTERED TO ME!"

COOL! THANKS FOR VERIFYING?

Anyway... I have a couple of guy friends... 
They want me to be a "wing wo-man" for them...

I told my neighbor this... 

He said they want me to help them get a chick...
BECAUSE THEY MIGHT BE INTIMIDATED....

BY WOMEN.

BUT ALSO... HE WAS SAYING
THAT A LOT OF DUDES DON'T DO REJECTION WELL.

I rejected 12 Year Discard because he rejected me already.
A long time ago.
The games he was playing, I don't play.

When things were decent, they were decent.
And I can say that for the other fkers too. 

WHEN THEY CHOSE TO BE DECENT TO ME!
LIKE THEY COULD HAVE JUST BEEN!

WASN'T THAT THE LEAST THEY COULD DO?
JUST BE DECENT?

AT LEAST. THE VERY LEAST?

When they were being decent....
THEY WERE DECENT!

RIGHT?

WHEN THEY CHOSE TO BE?

SO THEY KNEW HOW TO BE?

IT WASN'T LIKE THEY DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO BE?
IF THEY CHOSE TO BE?

When they wanted to be?

It's not that I "hate" them.
Yes, I was disappointed.
Yes, certain things actually p*ssed me off.
Yes, some things were unfair.

But to go as far as "hating" anyone....
No.

I wished him well more than once.
BECAUSE I DO.

HAD I "HATED" HIM....
WOULD I HAVE WISHED HIM WELL?

AT ALL?
LET ALONE MORE THAN ONCE?

IF I WAS HOLDING A GRUDGE....
WOULD I HAVE WISHED HIM WELL?

Probably would have told him
TO GO FK HIMSELF!

OR NOTHING AT ALL!

BUT THERE WAS LITERALLY NOTHING I COULD FKN SAY
TO HIM
OR FKN ANY OF THEM

THAT WOULD HAVE "MADE" THEM "UNDERSTAND"
ME
OR WHAT I WAS SAYING....
OR WHY I WAS SAYING IT!!!!!!!!

NOTHING! 

IF THEY DIDN'T "UNDERSTAND" WHEN I WAS SAYING IT.....
WOULD THEY "UNDERSTAND" IT 12 YEARS LATER?

OR AT ALL?

NO?
PROBABLY NOT!

SO IS THERE A POINT?
IN SAYING IT AGAIN????? NO?

SHOULD I CARE WHAT ANYONE SAYS ABOUT ME?
DO THEY KNOW ME ENOUGH?

TO SAY ANYTHING "ACCURATE" ABOUT ME?

WHY DID THEY WANT TO GASLIGHT ME SO BAD?
TO FK WITH WHAT?

I ALREADY KNOW.

OLD TRICKS.

THOSE TRICKS DON'T WORK.....
ON PEOPLE WHO DON'T "NEED" APPROVAL.

SHOULD I GAF IF EVERYTHING
I TOLD THEM THAT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN....
DOES?

IF I HAD FK ALL "GOING ON"
THEY'D GAF? NO?

JUST BECAUSE THEY FELL FOR SOMETHING
AND DIDN'T LISTEN....

DOESN'T MEAN I WAS "WRONG."
OR "CRAZY"
OR "TOXIC"

JUST HONEST!

DID I WANT TO BE THEIR "DOORMAT"?
NO?

SO WHY WOULD I "BE" THAT?
FK THEM!

ALL OF IT WILL HAPPEN
WITHOUT ME HAVING TO DO ANYTHING!
ALREADY CALLED IT.

BECAUSE I ALREADY SAW IT.

HAD THEY LISTENED?
PREVENTED!

BUT???? WHAT DID THEY DO???
THEY KNOW WHAT THEY DID!
BECAUSE THEY CHOSE TO DO IT!

WOULD I TELL THEM THEY DID SOMETHING THEY DIDN'T?
NO! BUT THEY THINK THEY CAN DO THAT SH*T TO ME!

I KNOW WHAT I DID AND DIDN'T.
BECAUSE I MAKE THOSE CHOICES!

CORRECT?

I ALSO KNOW WHY I MAKE THE CHOICES I MAKE!
I ALSO OWN MY SH*T!

"I HAVE TO CONTROL HOW EVERYONE LOOKS AT HER!"
SO WHAT DOES THAT LOOK LIKE?

WHAT DOES DOING THAT LOOK LIKE?

BECAUSE: "IF I GET EVERYONE TO LOOK AT HER LIKE XYZ...."
THEY WILL THINK OF HER LIKE XYZ!

RIGHT?

AND I TELL PEOPLE THINGS, YES....
TRUE THINGS.

IF THE TRUTH MAKES ANYONE LOOK LIKE XYZ....
IS THAT ON ME?

HE "REACHED OUT" AFTER 12 YEARS....
FOR A CERTAIN "OUTCOME."

OTHERWISE.... WHY REACH OUT AFTER DISCARDING ME?

TO "LOVE BOMB" ME?
OR TRY TO?

NOBODY MAGICALLY CARES!
THEY EITHER DO OR THEY DON'T!
DID HE CARE WHEN HE WAS DOING XYZ?
AND CHOOSING TO?

NO?

IF THEY ACTED LIKE THEY DIDN'T......
SHOULD I THINK THAT THEY DO?????

SHOULD I "CORRECT" EVERY "RUMOR"?
EVERY "FALSE NARRATIVE"?
FROM EVERY COWARD?

TOO SCARED TO TELL THE TRUTH?

I'm not.... BUT THEY REFUSE TO HEAR IT AND TELL IT...
FOR A REASON!

IF THEY WANT TO "PROTECT" THEIR "IMAGE"
BY CREATING A "FALSE NARRATIVE...."
THEY "CARE" WHAT PEOPLE "THOUGHT ABOUT ME"
FOR A REASON.

OR WOULD THEY?
TOLD THE TRUTH!

"ENOUGH TIME HAS PASSED (12 YEARS)"
"ALL SHOULD BE FORGOTTEN."

"ARE YOU SURE IT WAS ME?"
"MUST HAVE BEEN SOMEONE ELSE!"

ALL KINDS OF SH*T!!!!!!!

"I'LL ACT LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED!"
"I'LL TEST THE WATER!"

CAN THEY CONTROL HOW I SEE THEM?
HOW I RESPOND?
IF I LET THEM BACK IN?

FK NO.

THEY THOUGHT THE GASLIGHTING
WAS GOING TO AFFECT ME "FOREVER" LOL!

YOU CAN'T "ISOLATE" SOMEONE
WHO PREFERS THEIR SOLITUDE.

THEY HAVE TO LIVE WITH WHAT THEY DID.
I DON'T.

THEY DO.

DID IT SURPRISE TF OUT OF ME?
YEAH.

IT REALLY DID!

BECAUSE I WASN'T EXPECTING ANY OF THAT SH*T!
WHO WOULD?

PEOPLE WHO DON'T KNOW ME...
TRYING TO "DEFINE" ME.... HA!