"Time will heal all wounds." No.
We heal our own wounds. Just takes time to do it.
TIME ITSELF IS JUST TIME.
BECAUSE WE CAN ONLY HEAL WITH EFFORT.
I HAD TO THUG IT OUT.
Anyway...
I'm trying to "switch gears" and I WILL....
But.... Just residual stuff on my mind.
It took me a while to get other stuff out before... Remember?
I'm sure you do!
It was like every day for over a year, I think.
But? I don't bring it up so much anymore.
I still do, but to make some points about it...
I hope my points make sense.
I can't always articulate myself the way I would like to.
My son said that to me today.
He said he was trying to articulate the things on his mind.
HE HAS A LOT ON HIS MIND.
VERY MUCH LIKE ME!
ALMOST SCARY HOW MUCH HE IS LIKE ME.
IN SOME GOOD WAYS!
I love that we are alike in those ways!
Very tired now, probably going to crash soon.
It's cold in here. I don't think they turned the heat on yet.
Not sure when they will, but I hope they do soon.
I brought the pepper plant inside. Getting too cold for it outside.
It's actually growing tiny peppers lol!
They are cute!
I'll have to get some dirt soon to grow some more.
I need to put it into a bigger pot.
Plants grow to about 30% of the size of the container they are in.
If I put him in a bigger pot... He'll grow bigger.
Anyway, it's been cool to watch him grow from a little seedling.
I popped a couple of ibuprofen. Been hungry but not eating much.
I don't want to get any food in my "socket."
It should be good in a couple of weeks.
Last tooth wasn't so bad. The one on that side...
On the bottom.
This one was on the top.
I think I feel sad because I'm tired.
Sometimes I have to ask: "Am I sad? Or am I tired?"
It does feel like sadness... But I'm also really freaking tired.
Almost ready to crash for the night.
I guess it is sad to "miss" people
WHO NEVER ACTUALLY FKN GAF ABOUT ME.
WHY DO I "MISS" THEM? IDFK!
MAYBE... I "MISS" HOW THINGS COULD HAVE BEEN....
HOW THINGS WERE AT THE BEGINNING....
BEFORE THE BS STARTED....
DID HE TRY TO RECONNECT? BARELY.
AND IT FELT OFF LIKE IT WAS ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE.
NOT ABOUT RECONNECTING.
AND OBVIOUSLY, I DO NOT WANT A REPEAT OF
THAT BS CYCLE.
I NEVER WANTED THAT BS. PERIOD.
I'M TIRED OF BS.
I'M TOO FKN OLD FOR IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DAMMIT!
Anyway... I was watching a video about a woman's story...
SHE HAD TO FIGHT FOR HER LIFE.
SHE TALKED ABOUT THINGS HER MOM TOLD HER.
HOW SHE HELPED HER THROUGH THE ORDEAL.
IT WAS AN ATTEMPTED R@PE.
HER MOTHER SAID: "DID HE R@PE YOU?!"
SHE SAID NO.
HER MOM: IT WAS A FIGHT! YOU WON!
NOW IT'S OVER!
SHE HAD TO DO A LOT OF THERAPY STUFF...
IT HELPED HER.
THERAPY CAN HELP PEOPLE.
THERE'S JUST NOT ENOUGH THERAPISTS FOR EVERYONE.
SOME PEOPLE NEED IT SO BAD THAT THEY ARE SO FOOKED
THAT IT WOULD BE REALLY HARD TO TREAT THEM,
BUT MIGHT STILL BE POSSIBLE.
IN SOME WAYS.
Some people are so far "gone."
That they are hard to REACH.
IN AN IMPACTFUL AND MEANINGFUL WAY.
But.... Even HELEN KELLER WAS TAUGHT COMMUNICATION.
AND PEOPLE THOUGHT SHE WAS STUPID!
SHE WAS ACTUALLY VERY INTELLIGENT!
SHE JUST COULDN'T ARTICULATE HERSELF
UNTIL SHE WAS TAUGHT TO COMMUNICATE.
DEAF AND BLIND AND MUTE! TRIPLE WHAMMY.
IMAGINE THAT?
AND MOST PEOPLE THINK YOU WERE STUPID?!
BECAUSE OF THAT?!
IMAGINE ALL THE BS SHE WENT THROUGH?
BECAUSE OF THAT?
AND SHE COULDN'T EVEN EXPRESS HER OWN FEELINGS?
OR THOUGHTS?
SHE DIDN'T KNOW WHAT WORDS WERE!
SHE HAD NO WAY OF KNOWING AT THE TIME!
SHE COULDN'T HEAR.
SHE COULDN'T SEE.
SHE HAD NOBODY WHO KNEW HOW TO TEACH HER....
UNTIL... SHE DID!
ONE THING I WISH:
IF SOMEONE BLOCKS YOU THEY ALSO ARE BLOCKED.
BECAUSE IF THEY BLOCK YOU, YOU CAN'T BLOCK THEM
BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO NOT BE BLOCKED
TO BE ABLE TO BLOCK THEM.
SO THEY CAN'T UNBLOCK YOU AND TRY TO REACH YOU.
SO THEY CAN JUST STAY GONE. FAIR?
BECAUSE IF THEY DO THAT.... THEY DON'T NEED TO COME BACK.
FOR WHAT AT THAT POINT? FOR WHAT?
POUR QUOIS?
ANYWAY, I GOTTA CRASH NOW.
GOOD NIGHT!
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