Laugh About It

That's what I do when people try to provoke me now.
I LAUGH ABOUT IT.

BECAUSE THEY PROVOKE ME TO GET A REACTION.
WHAT REACTION DO THEY WANT?

THEY WANT ME TO "LOSE MY SH*T"
TO TALK ABOUT MY "REACTION."

If you don't give them ANYTHING, 
THEY GET NOTHING TO "TALK ABOUT."

Did I used to react? More than I do now?
FK YES. THEY KEPT DOING THAT SH*T.

Do you know what PROVOCATION IS?
IT'S: MANIPULATION. 

LIKE WHEN MIRROR SMASHER DID THAT SH*T.

SMASHING MY MIRROR WAS TO PROVOKE ME.
ALL THE SH*T HE DID WAS TO GET ME TO KICK HIM OUT, TOO.
ALL THE BS GAMES HE PLAYED.

"A***'S A B*TCH! SHE KICKED ME OUT!"

WAS HE ACTING LIKE HE EVEN WANTED TO BE THERE?
NO?

IF HE DIDN'T WANT TO FKN BE THERE....
DID HE HAVE TO FKN BE THERE? NO????

BUT HE DID THAT SH*T JUST TO CALL ME A B*TCH
FOR DOING IT.

AND NO, YOU CANNOT PLAY IN MY FACE
AND ACT LIKE YOU DON'T EVEN WANT TO BE THERE....

AND THEN CALL ME A B*TCH
FOR TELLING YOU TO F*CK RIGHT OFF.

BECAUSE HE WOULD HAVE KEPT DOING THAT SH*T.
WALKING ALL OVER ME
IN MY OWN HOME. 

SO FK HIM AND FK THAT.

BUT WILL HE SAY: I WAS WALKING ALL OVER HER!?
WILL HE SAY: I KEPT PROVOKING HER?
WILL HE SAY: I WAS BEING A FKTARD TO HER?
WILL HE TELL THE TRUTH? NO.

BECAUSE HE "HAD TO" SOMEHOW.....
"MAKE" ME INTO THE "B*TCH"

FOR TELLING HIM TO LEAVE!

THEN.... ACCUSED ME OF STEALING HIS THINGS?
THAT HE REFUSED TO COME GET TF OUT OF MY HOME?

SO THAT I COULD MOVE ON?
IMMEDIATELY?

LIKE I HAD A RIGHT TO DO?

These are the GAMES people LOVE to try to PLAY WITH ME.

JUST TO TRY TO "MAKE" ME "THE PROBLEM."

DID I KICK HIM OUT FOR "NO REASON"? 
OR DID I HAVE A GOOD FKN REASON?

WHEN 12 YEAR DISCARD CAME AROUND AFTER 12 YEARS....
DID I TELL HIM OFF FOR "NO REASON"?
OR DID I HAVE A REASON?

BUT TELLING HIM OFF MADE ME "TOXIC."

THEY "NEED" SOMETHING....
TO POINT AT.

WITHOUT TELLING ANYONE MY SIDE.
WITHOUT TELLING ANYONE WHY I "REACTED" THAT WAY.

JUST: "SHE KICKED ME OUT."
"SHE TOLD ME OFF."

ALWAYS WHAT I DID.
NEVER WHAT THEY DID.

THAT WAS PROVOKED..... 
THEY USE IT..... TO POINT TO ME.

NOT AT THEMSELVES.
BECAUSE THEY NEVER TELL ABOUT ANYTHING
THAT MAKES THEM "LOOK BAD."

NOTHING THAT MAKES PEOPLE SAY:
"NO SH*T SHE KICKED YOU OUT!"
"NO SH*T SHE TOLD YOU OFF!"

SHE HAD A REASON!!!!!!!!

THEY NEVER SAY WHAT THE REASON WAS.

"I WAS PLAYING IN HER FACE TO P*SS HER OFF."
"I P*SSED HER OFF TOO MANY TIMES."
"SHE LOST HER PATIENCE WITH ME WHEN I PUSHED HER TOO FAR."
"I CROSSED THE LINE."
"I REFUSED TO GET MY THINGS OUT OF HER HOUSE."
"I WAS TOO SCARED TO GET MY THINGS OUT OF HER HOUSE."
"I WAS TOO SCARED BECAUSE I PUSHED HER TOO FAR."
"I GHOSTED HER AND TRIED TO COME BACK 12 YEARS LATER
LIKE I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING TO HER."

AMONG OTHER THINGS THEY COULD BE SAYING.
BUT? IT MAKES THEM "LOOK BAD."

THEY WANT TO "POINT" AT ME TO TARNISH MY REPUTATION.
THEY DON'T WANT TO TARNISH THEIR OWN.

BY ADMITTING TO XYZ,

That's partly why I write about it.
Because I add the parts THAT THEY WON'T SAY.

NOT THAT I "CARE" THAT I DIDN'T GET THE "RESPECT"
THAT I COULD HAVE HAD....

BUT... MORE LIKE.... I LOST RESPECT FOR THOSE
WHO DON'T TELL THE FKN TRUTH
OF HOW THEY ACTED TOWARD ME.
AND ABOUT WHAT THEY DID
BEFORE I "REACTED."

THEY WON'T SAY: "I KEPT INSULTING HER!"
"I KEPT TAKING HER FOR GRANTED!"
"I KEPT BEING A FKTARD!"

"I TREATED HER THE WAY SHE NEVER DESERVED
TO BE TREATED! ESPECIALLY BY ME!"

"SOMEONE SHE TRUSTED NOT TO XYZ!"

"TRUSTED TO EVEN HAVE IN HER HOUSE!"

WHY WOULD I NOT BE SCARED TO BE "ALONE"???? HMMM?

BECAUSE I'D RATHER BE "ALONE"
THAN "DEAL" WITH FKTARDATION. 

AND BE EXPECTED TO "DEAL" WITH IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHY WOULD I WANT TO?
WOULD YOU?
NO?

YOU WOULDN'T?
ESPECIALLY FROM ME?

SOMEONE WHO WAS SUPPOSED TO BE LOYAL?
AND WOULD HAVE BEEN?

IF YOU HAD BEEN LOYAL TO ME? HMMM???

SUPPOSED TO GO BOTH WAYS!!!!!!! HMMM!

LIKE: "I RESPECT A*** ENOUGH NOT TO:

PLAY GAMES!
BE A FKTARD!
INSULT HER CONSTANTLY!

"

IF YOU ARE "UNSURE" ABOUT ME....
FINE!

BUT..... DON'T FK ME AROUND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CAN PEOPLE DO THAT? AT LEAST??????

BECAUSE THEY WERE SCARED?????
OF SH*T NOT WORKING OUT?????

HOW WERE THEY SUPPOSED TO??????
DID I GET A FAIR FKN SHOT? EVER?????????

SO HOW WOULD THEY KNOW??????
IF IT WOULD HAVE?????

TOO BUSY BEING A FKTARD
TO SEE ANYTHING GOOD ABOUT ME.

"I'LL PUSH HER TO CREATE RED FLAGS THAT AREN'T THERE."
SO HER "REACTION" TO MY SH*T WILL BE
THE "DECIDING FACTOR."

"I'LL P*SS HER OFF UNTIL SHE DOES SOMETHING!"
"I'LL INSULT HER UNTIL SHE GETS MAD!"

AND WHEN SHE DOES GET MAD.....
I WON'T TELL ANYONE I INSULTED TF OUT OF HER!!!!!!!!!

DID HE HAVE TO INSULT ME?
OR COULD HE HAVE JUST RESPECTED ME
ENOUGH NOT TO??????????

HMMM.

IT'S SO FKN JUVENILE AND GROSS, THOUGH.
NOT ATTRACTIVE TO ME AT ALL.

WOULD IT BE ATTRACTIVE TO YOU?

THAT THEY CAN'T TELL THE TRUTH?
ABOUT WHAT THEY EVEN DID TO YOU?

TO "CAUSE" A "REACTION"
THAT THEY INTENDED TO CAUSE?

WILL THEY SAY WHY THEY INTENDED TO DO IT?
AND PURPOSEFULLY DID THAT SH*T? TO ME?
NO?

WHY NOT? THEY COULD PLAY THOSE GAMES, RIGHT?

THEY CAN'T SAY WHY THEY DID?????

"I WAS SCARED OF MAKING A MISTAKE."

"I WAS SCARED OF FEELING ANYTHING FOR HER."

"IN CASE" A*** WAS GOING TO "HURT ME" SOMEHOW.
OR DO THE EXACT SAME SH*T TO ME
THAT I DID TO HER.

BUT.... DID I DO THAT SH*T????? DID I????
WHY NOT????

BECAUSE I DIDN'T WANT TO?
BECAUSE I'M NOT THE "PROBLEM"

THEY WANTED A "REASON" TO WALK AWAY!
SO THEY CREATED ONE.....
MY "REACTION" TO THEIR SH*T.

BECAUSE THEY COULD TALK ABOUT THE REACTION
LIKE IT FKN CAME OUT OF NOWHERE
FOR NO FKN REASON
WHATSOEVER.

THAT'S WHY.

NOT BECAUSE THERE ACTUALLY WAS A "REASON."
AND THEY KNEW IT....
SO THEY HAD TO "CREATE" ONE....

TO SAY: "THIS IS WHY."

DOES IT P*SS ME OFF? YEAH.

BECAUSE THAT WAS THE REASON.
NOT BECAUSE THERE ACTUALLY WAS A REASON. 

JUST "POKE POKE POKE POKE POKE POKE POKE"
UNTIL?

"SEE?" 

BUT WILL THEY TELL ANYONE THEY POKED TF OUT OF ME?
CONSTANTLY?????

THEY ARE TERRIFIED.... OF ME PULLING THE RUG OUT
FROM UNDERNEATH THEM....

WITHOUT KNOWING THAT I WOULDN'T HAVE DONE THAT SH*T.
SO THEY DO THAT SH*T TO ME INSTEAD!

"GET HER BEFORE SHE GETS ME!"

I'M NOT ANYONE WHO EVER DID THEM WRONG! RIGHT?
AM I?

WHO AM I? DO THEY EVEN KNOW WHO TF I AM? NO?
WHY IS THAT?

WHY DO THEY NOT KNOW ME?
TOO BUSY POKING TF OUT OF ME TO KNOW ME.

TOO BUSY PLAYING GAMES TO KNOW ME.

TOO BUSY THINKING: WHAT IF A*** HURTS ME TOO!

WHAT IF A*** NEVER WANTED TO FKN HURT YOU!?
WHAT IF A*** COULD HAVE HELPED YOU OUT!?
WHAT IF A*** ACTUALLY HAD GOOD INTENTIONS THE WHOLE TIME???!!!

BUT HOW WOULD THEY KNOW THAT?

THEY WOULDN'T...
TOO BUSY PLAYING GAMES AND POKING ME.

TO KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT ME!

SO YOU CAN'T "PREDICT" WHAT I "MIGHT" OR "COULD" DO....
IF YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW MY INTENTIONS!

JUST "MAKE" ME THE "PROBLEM"
SO YOU DON'T EVER HAVE TO ACTUALLY KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT ME.

MY INTENTIONS OR ANYTHING ABOUT ME.

WOULD I WANT THEM TO? IF THEY THINK THE WORST?
BEFORE EVEN GETTING TO KNOW ME?

IF THEY ALREADY THINK THE WORST.......
THEY CAN GO TF AHEAD!

IF PEOPLE WANT TO BE WRONG ABOUT ME....
THEY CAN GO TF AHEAD!

BUT.... IF THEY WANT TO BE WRONG ABOUT ME....
THEY CAN FK OFF.

ALL THE WAY OFF.

THAT'S WHY I DIDN'T TRY TO "REACH OUT" TO HIM
AFTER HE GHOSTED ME. 

1) I NEVER WANTED ANYTHING FROM HIM
2) HE'S ALLOWED TO BE WRONG ABOUT ME

EVERYONE IS.

BUT JUST BECAUSE THEY CONVINCED THEMSELVES 
OF XYZ.....

NEVER MEANT THAT WHATEVER TF THEY CONVINCED THEMSELVES
ABOUT ME.... WAS EVER ACCURATE OR TRUE ABOUT ME. 

SO? I DON'T HAVE TO GAF ABOUT THEM CONVINCING THEMSELVES.

THEY DO IT TO HAVE A "REASON"
BECAUSE THEY COULDN'T "FIND" ONE.

THE REASON THEY COULDN'T "FIND" ONE....????
I WASN'T GIVING ANY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DID I DO SH*T IN MY PAST? YEAH?

BUT WHEN WAS THAT????? IN MY 20s????!!!!
WHEN I WASN'T "MATURE" YET?

WHEN I HADN'T LEARNED FROM MY MISTAKES?
WHEN I HADN'T LEARNED ANYTHING ABOUT MYSELF?
WHY I WAS DOING WHAT I WAS DOING?

WHY I WAS MAKING EXCUSES TO DO IT?

BECAUSE.... IF I HAD AN EXCUSE....

MY EXCUSE WOULD BE MY "REASON."

RIGHT?

YOU THINK I NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT THAT SH*T?
I HAD A LOT OF TIME TO THINK ABOUT THAT SH*T!!!!!
MY OWN SH*T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AND WHY I WAS BEING SH*TTY!!!!!!!!!!!!
AND "IMMATURE."

SO THEN..... MAYBE..... IT'S THEIR TURN.....
TO THINK ABOUT IT. 

BUT IF THEY ALREADY HAD THAT CHANCE....
AND THEY LET THEIR INSECURITIES CONTROL THEM....
OR THEIR EGO....
OR SOMEONE WHO WANTED TO STEER THEM AWAY FROM ME....

FOR THEIR OWN "REASONS"......

THEN? THEY ALLOWED THAT....
AND? THEY ALREADY HAD THE CHANCE NOT TO ALLOW THAT.

PEOPLE HAVE A VERY HARD TIME READING ME. 

VERY. FKN. HARD. TIME.

SO THEY MAKE SH*T UP IN THEIR OWN MINDS ABOUT ME.

BECAUSE THERE ARE SO MANY BLANKS ABOUT ME.....
THEY DIDN'T TAKE THE TIME....
TO ACTUALLY GET TO KNOW ME.... 
TO KNOW WHAT TO FILL THOSE BLANKS WITH. 

BUT? THEY COULD HAVE ASKED ME. 
COULD HAVE SPOKEN TO ME.

COULD HAVE GOTTEN TO KNOW ME.

INSTEAD OF? POKE POKE POKE POKE POKE.

AND IT USED TO REALLY P*SS ME OFF!!!! 

BECAUSE: IT'S UNFAIR TO THE PERSON GETTING POKED! CONSTANTLY!

Right? Isn't it? Yeah... It is.

Because.... Why do it?