Wishing Things Were The Way They Used To Be

"I wish I could take back the things I did to A***."
Welp, you can't.

I couldn't take back things... If I did that sh*t.
Right?

Should have..... TOLD ME THE TRUTH.
12 YEARS AGO.

JUST THAT.

THEY "CAN'T HANDLE" REJECTION. 

IS IT "REJECTION" OR AM I DECLINING AN "OFFER"?
BECAUSE THERE IS NOTHING I WANT FROM HIM. 
NOT EVEN A "CONFESSION."

I DON'T HAVE TO "FIGURE IT OUT"
12 YEARS LATER.

IT WAS THE CARELESSNESS THAT DID IT FOR ME.
ONLY SO MUCH THAT ANYONE SHOWS ME THAT SH*T....

BECAUSE I MIGHT LOOK PAST SOME THINGS, 
BUT NOT EVERYTHING. 

WHEN THEY THINK I'LL LOOK PAST EVERYTHING.....
BECAUSE I LOOKED PAST A FEW THINGS....

WRONG!

HE RAN BECAUSE HE DIDN'T FEEL GOOD ENOUGH
FOR THE CHALLENGE I REPRESENTED.

BECAUSE HE WOULD HAVE HAD TO GROW TF UP.
AND STOP WITH HIS BS. RIGHT?

"IT WOULD BE TOO "HARD" TO BE WITH A***."
I'LL GO TO SOMEONE WHO REQUIRES NOTHING OF ME.

MEH. OKAY. BUT..... HAVE THAT. KEEP THAT. STAY THERE.
AND...... FK OFF WITH THE IDEA I'D WANT YOU BACK!

AND IF YOU DISCARD ME, I'LL ACCEPT THAT SH*T.
FOR EXACTLY WHAT IT IS.

BECAUSE.... WHY WOULDN'T I?

LEAVING ME WAITING.... WAS THE GAME.
PUTTING ME ON A SHELF..... WAS THE GAME.

SUPERFICIAL SH*T IS THERE TO SET YOU BACK.
THAT'S ALL IT EVER WAS THERE FOR.

A "TEMPTATION." BAIT. TROJAN HORSE. 
A LYING TROJAN HORSE LOL.

"I'M *NOT* A TROJAN HORSE!" WINK WINK!

WHY DO PEOPLE HAVE TO SEE THE FAKE?
BEFORE THEY REALIZED I WAS FOR REAL?

DID THEY REALLY HAVE TO?
OR DID THEY CHOOSE TO?

BECAUSE THEY WANTED TO SEE......
HOW FAR THEY COULD PUSH ME.... 

AND PUSHED ME..... TOO FAR.
TOO FAR AWAY.

SHOULDN'T HAVE DONE THAT.
BUT? WHAT?
CHOSE TO? YEAH.... SUCKS.... 

DID I CHOOSE THAT?
OR DID THEY?

I DIDN'T!

IS PUSHING SOMEONE..... LOYALTY? NO?

MAYBE I PUSH PEOPLE TO REALIZE THINGS.....
TO POSSIBLY CHANGE.... THEIR LIVES.... 

BUT I DON'T PUSH THEM FOR ANY FKD UP REASONS.
NOT LIKE THEY DO TO ME.

AND THEY DO THAT FOR CONTROL....
AND THEY LEARN.... THAT'S NOT HOW TO GET IT.
NOT OVER ME.

I DO NOT NEED TO CONTROL ANYONE.
WOULD I LOVE FOR THEM TO CONTROL THEMSELVES?
YES.

AND STOP TRYING ME? YES.

BUT CAN I CONTROL THEM TO MAKE THEM REALIZE
THAT THEY FKN SHOULDN'T?

NO?

BECAUSE I'D BE "MANIPULATIVE"
IF I TRIED TO MAKE SOMEONE DO SOMETHING
THEY DIDN'T WANT TO DO! RIGHT?

IF THEY DIDN'T WANT TO GROW TF UP...
IF THEY DIDN'T WANT TO BE TRANSPARENT....
IF THEY DIDN'T WANT TO BE HONEST....
IF THEY DIDN'T WANT TO CHANGE....
IF THEY DIDN'T WANT TO ACTUALLY FKN....

COOPERATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OR EVEN BE FKN.... DECENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! RIGHT?

OR EVEN.... LISTEN!!!!!!!!!! RIGHT?

SO WAS THERE ANYTHING I COULD HAVE SAID?
TO SOMEONE WHO WOULDN'T LISTEN?

PEOPLE WHO RUN..... RUN FROM THE CHALLENGE
OF STEPPING UP. 

THEY THINK THEY CAN'T STEP UP.
YES, THEY COULD HAVE.....

HAD THEY BEEN SOLID.
HAD THEY KNOWN WHAT SOLIDARITY MEANT....

BUT..... SOLIDARITY.....
IS A RARITY. 

THAT'S WHY...... THEY RARELY FIND THAT.
THEY FIND A LOT OF BS INSTEAD.

DID I QUESTION MYSELF ABOUT PUSHING HIM AWAY?
YEAH. 

BECAUSE WHAT IF HE WAS "TRYING TO MAKE THINGS RIGHT"?
BUT..... HE ALREADY DID HIS BS.

AND I DON'T FEEL LIKE LETTING HIM PLAY WITH ME AGAIN. 
WHY WOULD I?

COULD HAVE THOUGHT:
WHAT WILL HAPPEN IF I FK HER AROUND?
WHAT WILL HAPPEN IF I DON'T?

FEARING CHANGE BECAUSE CHANGE MIGHT MEAN:
LOSS.

NOT ALWAYS.

BUT WHEN PEOPLE DON'T STOP WITH THEIR BS......
SOME THINGS CAN GET WORSE! HMMM?

DISCARDING ME DOES NOT MAKE ME REACT.
SO DOING IT TO TRY TO GET ME TO DO THAT.....

DOES NOT WORK!

TOO AFRAID TO TELL THE TRUTH?
THE TRUTH IS AT LEAST RESPECTED FOR BEING TRUE!

DO PEOPLE RESPECT LIARS?
ARE LIARS TRUSTED?

NO?

EVEN IF THE TRUTH WAS FKD UP....
AT LEAST IT'S THE TRUTH....

RIGHT?