Where There Shouldn't Be Any

I heard that the "emotional abuse"
was to try to GET ME STUCK IN A "TRAUMA BOND."

MIRROR SMASHER ACTUALLY USED THAT TERM.

IT WOULD HAVE GOTTEN WORSE WITH HIM.

AND WHEN I WALKED AWAY FROM HIS BS....
LOOK HOW HE ACTED!

LOOK HOW MY EX ACTED!

LOOK HOW 12 YEAR DISCARD ACTED!

TRIED TO TURN IT AROUND ON ME, YET AGAIN.

NO, TAKE ACCOUNTABILITY OR FK RIGHT OFF.

IF HE WANTED ME TO "FEEL SECURE"
HE WOULDN'T HAVE PLAYED GAMES. RIGHT?

HE WANTED ME CAUGHT UP IN THE BS. NO.

I CAN BE ALONE. I'VE ALREADY FACED MYSELF.
I DON'T DO THAT SH*T.

TRYING TO PUT IT ON ME, YET AGAIN, SAID A LOT!

SAID IT WOULD BE MORE OF THE SAME SH*T.

BUT AM I THE ONE STALKING? DOING ANYTHING?

HE THOUGHT I'D ENDURE IT AGAIN? ALREADY DID!
WAS IT FUN? FOR ME?

OR WAS IT ONE-SIDED BS?
AND I DON'T HAVE TO WANT THAT SH*T.

YOU THINK YOU CAN PRETEND TO CARE 12 YEARS LATER....
AND THOUGHT I'D BELIEVE THAT SH*T?

BUT I'M THE ONE WHO HAS THE AUDACITY NOT TO WANT THAT?

NOT HIM HAVING THE AUDACITY 
TO TRY THAT SH*T ON ME?

Never had to!

But just because I CAN ENDURE A BUNCH OF SH*T.....
DOESN'T MEAN I EVER NEEDED TO!

DOESN'T MEAN I DESERVED THAT SH*T!
I DIDN'T!

I DIDN'T DESERVE ANYONE'S SH*T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I FKN DIDN'T!

WOULD THEY DESERVE THAT SH*T?
IF I DID THAT SH*T TO THEM?

NO? BECAUSE NOBODY DESERVES THAT SH*T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
THAT'S WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NOBODY DOES! NOT EVEN ME!

SO EVERYONE CAN FK OFF WITH THAT SH*T.

BECAUSE I DIDN'T DESERVE THAT.

STILL DON'T.... 12 YEARS LATER.

TOO BUSY TRYING TO DO A BUNCH OF BS.....
TO SEE ANYTHING ABOUT ME....

THAT SOUNDS "S3XY" RIGHT? FK NO.

WHEN YOU'RE "HEALTHY" AND DON'T DO THAT SH*T....
SOMETIMES PEOPLE LOOK AT YOU LIKE A TARGET.
AND IF THEY ARE PLAYING GAMES
AND MAKING EVERYTHING "HARD" FOR NO REASON....
YOU DON'T HAVE TO ACCEPT THAT SH*T.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO BACK 12 YEARS LATER....

YOU'RE ALLOWED TO BE INFURIATED.
IT'S INSULTING WHEN PEOPLE TRY THAT SH*T.
IT REALLY IS.

I KNEW I DESERVED BETTER THAN THAT.
SO WHY WOULDN'T I WANT BETTER THAN THAT?

"A***'S KIND.... STUPIDLY KIND."

A*** DOESN'T HAVE TO BE FKN ANYTHING TO ANYONE!
NEVER HAD TO! SURPRISE!

YOU KNOW WHAT SAYS SOMETHING ABOUT ME?
HOW MUCH I FKN ENDURED....
TO STILL BE IN MY INTEGRITY.
TO STILL HAVE MY SELF-RESPECT.
TO STILL HAVE MY DIGNITY.

TO PREFER MY SOLITUDE OVER ANYTHING
THAT TURNS FROM SUGAR TO SH*T VERY QUICKLY.

BECAUSE OF SOMEONE ELSE'S CHOICE. NOT MINE.

BEING EXPECTED TO TAKE THE BLAME FOR ANY OF IT....
IS FKN WILD. IS IT NOT?

I already went through that sh*t AS A CHILD.

I LOOK BACK AT THE ABUSE BACK THEN....
SAME SH*T.
FOR THE SAME REASONS: CONTROL.

NO.... YOU CAN'T CONTROL ME.
SURPRISE!

YOU WEREN'T MEANT TO!
YOU WERE MEANT TO FKN CONTROL YOURSELF!

IF YOU CAN'T CONTROL YOURSELF.....
ENOUGH NOT TO FKN INSULT ME..... AS AN EXAMPLE....
WHY SHOULD YOU HAVE "CONTROL" OVER ME?
JUST BECAUSE YOU WANT IT?

AND WHAT IF I DECIDE YOU DON'T GET IT?

THEN WHAT?

THEN HOW DO YOU ACT?

AM I THE ONE ACTING LIKE THAT?

I ALREADY UNDERSTOOD A LONG TIME AGO...
I DON'T FKN CONTROL YOU.
THAT'S NOT WHAT I WANTED.... 
I WANTED YOU TO FKN CONTROL YOURSELF.

BIG DIFFERENCE. BIG!

SO THEN.... WHEN YOU SHOW ME THAT YOU STILL CAN'T....
STILL WON'T.... EVEN OVER A DECADE LATER.....

WHEN I HAVE ALREADY DEMONSTRATED SELF-CONTROL
BY JUST.... BEING DONE WITH IT... 

IF YOU MAKE IT HARD TO TALK TO SOMEONE....
WHY WOULD THEY WANT TO TALK?

THEY GET TIRED OF THE BS.
WHERE THERE SHOULD NEVER HAVE BEEN ANY BS.

RIGHT?