That's Why I Didn't Trust Him

Obviously.... I didn't trust him....
NOT TO REPEAT HIS BS.
HE DID.

SO IT SHOWED ME WHY MY CHOICE
ABOUT NOT RECONNECTING
WAS THE RIGHT CHOICE.

BECAUSE HAD I DONE THAT.....
IT WOULD HAVE BEEN THE EXACT SAME SH*T...
BECAUSE HE STILL WOULD NOT....
JUST FKN TAKE ACCOUNTABILITY.

JUST THAT.

DID I ASK FOR ANYTHING UNREASONABLE?
OR WAS THAT VERY REASONABLE?

SHOULD I HAVE NEEDED TO ASK FOR THAT?

DID I ASK? OR DID I CALL HIM OUT FOR HIS SH*T?

IT WOULD HAVE BEEN TOXIC....
TO ALLOW MYSELF TO ACCEPT MORE OF THAT BS....
OVER THE DISTANCE HE ALREADY CREATED.

HE ALREADY DID THAT.

HE CAN'T TRY TO ACT LIKE HE DIDN'T
AND DIDN'T CHOOSE THAT. HE DID,

And discarding me TWICE....
IS DISCARDING ME TWICE.

FOR WHATEVER BS.... OKAY?

WHY WOULD I WANT TO REPAIR IT?
WAS I THE ONE WHO DESTROYED IT? NO?
SO WHY TRY TO REPAIR IT?

LET SOMEONE SHOW HIM WHAT TOXIC REALLY IS.
BY THE TIME HE REALIZES IT....

I'LL BE LONG GONE!

LOOK AT HOW EVERYONE'S
WHO'S BEEN JEALOUS OF ME....
ACTED ABOUT ME... 

TO NOT GET CLOSE ENOUGH TO ME
TO ACTUALLY KNOW ME... 

SO THAT CERTAIN PEOPLE WOULD THINK WHATEVER
ABOUT ME.

BUT TO INSULT ME? SOME MORE?
MAKES ME REALLY WANT TO CONNECT!
TO DISCARD ME AGAIN?
MAKES ME REALLY WANT TO CONNECT!

"FORGOT" HOW HE TREATED ME....
WOW. 

WANTED ME TO FORGET, TOO. 

BUT.... HE DIDN'T "SHOW UP."
DID I WANT HIM TO "SHOW OUT"? NO.

HE CREATED THE DISTANCE. I ACCEPTED IT.
WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO?

CHASE HIM? BEG HIM? FK NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FK THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FK HIM FOR THINKING THAT I FKN WOULD.

IF I FELT LIKE CHASING, I'D CHASE IRON HEART.
BUT DID I DO THAT?

OR DID I LET HIM GO, TOO?! I LET HIM GO, TOO!
BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT HE WANTED!

AND YOU GET MAD AT ME?
FOR GIVING YOU THE DISTANCE YOU WANTED?

WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT????!!!! SERIOUSLY????
I GIVE YOU THE DISTANCE YOU WANTED.....
AND YOU COULDN'T JUST LET ME MOVE ON?

WAS I ASKING A LOT? FOR NOT WANTING A REPEAT?

AND I TRIED TO BE FKN NICE ABOUT IT!

TOLD HIM I WANTED TO LEAVE THE PAST IN THE PAST, THIS TIME...
BECAUSE XYZ, WISHED HIM WELL....

SHOULD HAVE LEFT IT AT THAT.

WHY DID I THINK HE'D TAKE ACCOUNTABILITY?
FINALLY! AFTER 12 FKN YEARS!!!! WHY DID I THINK HE WOULD?
FKN INCAPABLE OF DOING THAT!
OR HE WOULD HAVE JUST FKN DONE IT!

BUT WANTS TO REFUSE TO CHANGE!
SO WHY??????

DOES THAT HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH ME?

SOMEONE REFUSING TO GROW UP.....
DOESN'T MAKE ME TOXIC OR ANYTHING.

REFUSING TO GROW UP IS LOWKEY TOXIC. 
REFUSING TO ACKNOWLEDGE THINGS
THAT SHOULD BE ACKNOWLEDGED....
IS TOXIC. 

NOT BEING SOLID.... OR HONEST....
IS TOXIC.

BEING HONEST IS HEALTHY.
MOVING ON IS HEALTHY.
HAVING PURE INTENTIONS IS HEALTHY.

NOT BEING IMPULSIVE AF IS HEALTHY.

BEING A PROJECTING PLAYER IS TOXIC.

THAT SH*T DOESN'T BELONG ON ME.
THAT'S WHY IT'S INSULTING....

AND YOU CAN TAKE YOUR INSULTS.
AND SHOVE THEM.

INSULTING SOMEONE....
ISN'T THE "BEST WAY" TO TRY TO "REUNITE" WITH THEM.

AND I DON'T FKN TRUST HIM.

I DON'T.

WOULD YOU AUTOMATICALLY TRUST SOMEONE?
WHO DISCARDED YOU?
AND INSULTS YOU?

WOULD YOU TRUST THAT?

AND WHEN HE DIDN'T GET WHATEVER HE WAS "HOPING" FOR....
HOW DID HE ACT?

LIKE HE CARED?

OR JUST INSULT ME AGAIN AND RUN AWAY AGAIN?

I WAS SUPPOSED TO TRUST THAT? C'MON!
WHY WOULD I TRUST THAT?

WOULD YOU? HONESTLY?