Anyway....

I tried. Got burned. Was disappointed. I had to move on. 
I didn't have a choice. Nothing was changing.
It would have been more emotional abuse I didn't deserve.

I'M ALLOWED NOT TO WANT TO GO BACK TO THAT.
HE SHOWED ME WHY.

WHATEVER HE'S DEALING WITH, HE CAN DEAL WITH THAT.

OBVIOUSLY.... STILL SMALL-MINDED, AND I CAN'T FIX THAT.
WELL.... EGOISM DOES THAT SH*T...

BECAUSE WHEN SOMEONE IS SO EGO-DRIVEN....
THEY WON'T THINK ABOUT ANYTHING.
THEY ARE "AUTOMATICALLY RIGHT"
AND THEY PROJECT SH*T.
AND IT'S ALWAYS ABOUT THEM AND WHAT THEY WANT.

LIKE HE WAS THE ONE WHO WANTED TO "RECONNECT"
FOR A REASON. IT WASN'T FOR NO REASON.
AND IT WASN'T BECAUSE HE WAS READY
TO TREAT ME THE WAY I DESERVE TO BE TREATED. 

ALL HE HAD TO DO.... WAS TREAT ME....
LIKE HE CARED. THAT'S IT.

HE DIDN'T!

IF HE DID.... WHAT PROBLEMS OR ISSUES WOULD WE HAVE?

ANY?

PROBABLY COULD HAVE HAD SOMETHING HEALTHY
AND WORTHWHILE... 

AT LEAST THAT IS WHAT I THOUGHT....

BUT HE WASN'T READY FOR THAT, OBVIOUSLY....
AND STILL ISN'T.

SO WHY WOULD HE WASTE MY TIME, AGAIN?
I DON'T FKN KNOW.


HOW COULD HE NOT THINK:
"SHE'S PROBABLY P*SSED AT ME FOR TREATING HER LIKE SH*T!"
WELL FK YEAH!

I WAS BACK THEN, TOO.

BUT BEING P*SSED OFF.... IS SUPPOSEDLY TOXIC!

I'M TOXIC FOR BEING UPSET
FOR BEING TREATED LIKE SH*T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THAT'S WHY I'M TOXIC!

AND FOR TELLING THE TRUTH ABOUT IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He thought I was STUPID. 
THAT I WOULDN'T SEE THAT SH*T.

WELL OBVIOUSLY.... HOW CAN I THINK ANYTHING WOULD CHANGE?
HAD THEY?

OR WAS IT STILL THE SAME SH*T? AGAIN?

MORE SH*T I DIDN'T NEED OR WANT?

I ONLY SAW WHAT HE SHOWED ME.
THAT'S IT.

IF HE DIDN'T WANT ME TO SEE THAT SH*T....
HE SHOULDN'T HAVE SHOWN ME THAT SH*T.
RIGHT?

I SHOWED HIM MY SELF-WORTH AND SELF-RESPECT....
AND GOT DISCARDED AGAIN FOR IT.

AND I'M OKAY WITH THAT.
I LIVED THROUGH IT THE FIRST TIME.

BUT WHY WOULD I WANT MORE OF THAT SH*T?

LIKE INVITING MIRROR SMASHER BACK IN
TO SMASH MY WINDOWS!

OR INVITING HEAD PUNCHER
TO PUNCH ME DIRECTLY ON THE TEMPLE!
(IT WAS WITHIN AN INCH OF MY TEMPLE).

BUT TO ANYONE
WHO HAS NEVER BEEN HELD ACCOUNTABLE
FOR FKN ANYTHING.....
IN THEIR LIFE.....
ACCOUNTABILITY AND TRUTH IS "TOXIC."

THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT "TOXIC" REALLY IS!

IF I WAS "TOXIC" I WOULD HAVE THROWN A BRICK
OR A ROCK THROUGH HIS DAD'S STORE WINDOW!
OR SOMETHING "TOXIC."

NOT THAT HIS DAD DID ANYTHING TO ME....

BUT WOULD I CARE IF HIS DAD DID ANYTHING TO ME?
IF I WAS REALLY THAT TOXIC?

OR WOULD THE ONLY THINGS GOING THROUGH MY HEAD....
WOULD BE TOXIC THINGS...?

Instead? I MOVED ON WITH MY LIFE! PRETTY HEALTHY!

IF I WAS TOXIC.... I WOULDN'T HAVE JUST LET HIM WALK AWAY!
I WOULD HAVE DONE TOXIC THINGS TO HIM....
WAY BEFORE HE "BLOCKED" ME.

IT WAS A DISCARD. NOT SIMPLY BLOCKING ME.
IT WASN'T A PAUSE. IT WAS ENDING IT. HE KNEW THAT.

AND BEING OKAY WITH IT MADE HIM MAD.

I'M TOXIC FOR ACCEPTING IT! 
I'D BE TOXIC FOR NOT ACCEPTING IT!

I ACCEPTED IT A LONG TIME AGO!

I'm just releasing whatever buildup was still hanging there.

HIM REMOVING HIMSELF WAS FOR MY PROTECTION.
IT WAS FOR THE BEST.

BECAUSE: I DON'T HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT.
NOT THAT I WANTED TO, OR EXPECTED TO....
BUT NOW... I JUST DON'T HAVE TO.