That's What Honesty & Respect Look Like

When the dude I went to college with.... College Dude...
When he even THOUGHT that I was trying to get with him....
HE WAS HONEST WITH ME.
RIGHT?

HE COULD HAVE ASSUMED I WAS TRYING
TO GET WITH HIM....
LIED ABOUT BEING WITH SOMEONE... 

STRUNG ME ALONG....
PLAYED WITH MY FEELINGS....

RIGHT? HE COULD HAVE!
DIDN'T!

Why miss me when someone does DIRT TO THEM
THAT THEY KNOW I WOULDN'T DO?

Y'know?

But you see the difference?
Between what College Dude could have done?
AND WHAT HE CHOSE NOT TO DO?

THAT'S WHO I WOULD TRUST.
AND WHY I WOULD TRUST HIM.

HE WAS HONEST WITH ME.
NEVER PLAYED GAMES WITH ME.
NEVER FKD ME AROUND. EVER.

DIDN'T HAVE TO AND CHOSE NOT TO.

DIDN'T REGRET IT WHEN HE DID THAT?
WHEN 12-YEAR DISCARD DID THAT.
THERE WAS NO REGRET ABOUT IT WHEN HE DID IT.

IT WAS INTENTIONAL. NOT AN ACCIDENT.

IT'S BECAUSE THE GRASS WAS NOT GREENER.
THAT IS SELFISH.

IT'S NOT ABOUT HOW I FELT.
OR ABOUT WHY IT WAS WRONG.

NOT ABOUT LOYALTY OR RESPECT.

NOT ABOUT: "I ACTUALLY HID FEELINGS FOR YOU."

NO. ACTED LIKE YOU FELT NOTHING FOR ME.
ACTED LIKE I MEANT NOTHING.

SO.... I BALANCED SH*T OUT FOR MYSELF.
EMOTIONALLY.

SINCE THAT'S WHAT I'M FORCED TO DO.
CONSTANTLY.

NOT THAT I WANT TO, BUT I NEEDED TO.
TO HAVE SOME SORT OF EMOTIONAL STABILITY.
FOR MYSELF.

Emotional abuse is destabilizing. 
I didn't realize how destabilizing it was... 

UNTIL I STABILIZED WITHOUT THAT SH*T IN MY LIFE.

IT'S THE STABILITY THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO BACK FROM.

BECAUSE IT FEELS BETTER THAN BS.

IT JUST DOES!

IN SOME WAYS, I FEEL BETTER, BUT IN SOME WAYS...
IT FEELS LIKE GETTING OVER IT ALL OVER AGAIN.

I SHOULD HAVE BEEN ALLOWED TO JUST BE OVER IT.

JUST BECAUSE I WAS TRYING....
DOESN'T MEAN I WILL KEEP TRYING!

I ALREADY TRIED!

I WAS TRYING. UNTIL I STOPPED.

CAN'T BE MAD AT ME FOR NOT TRYING.... ANYMORE.
WHEN THEY WEREN'T.

WHEN YOU LET SOMEONE ELSE STEP IN....
BECAUSE THEY WERE TRYING TO "C*CKBLOCK" ME LOL.

YOU ALLOWED THAT. LOL.

YOU WANT A "C*CKBLOCKER"? LOL.
YOU CAN HAVE ONE.

BUT THEY ONLY WANT YOU....
BECAUSE I DID.

THAT'S WHY.