Perceptions

The thing is that dudes think I will ENDLESSLY COMPROMISE.
I ALREADY WAITED FOR THAT DUDE.
HE PROJECTED SH*T ONTO ME, 
WANTED TO ARGUE CONSTANTLY, 
COULDN'T TALK TO HIM....

I'm starting to wonder if those calls
where "nobody was on the other line" were him.

He literally ran away and wanted me to chase him!
FOR WHAT?

FOR ARGUMENTS?
TO KEEP WAITING FOR HIM?
FOR NOTHING?
TO BE OVERLOOKED?
TO BE DISCARDED?

Nope. Just fkn nope.

As curious as I was before, I found out. Right?
That we are not compatible.

That's fine. 
That was always fine.

Doing me like that.....
IS NOT COOL.

"LOSING A*** WASN'T PART OF THE PLAN."

WELP, HAD YOU TREATED ME RIGHT....
WOULD YOU HAVE LOST ME?

OR WOULD I HAVE STAYED?

WOULD I STILL BE THERE?

PROBABLY!

BUT PEOPLE WHO ARE LOYAL......
DON'T APPRECIATE DISLOYALTY. 
THEY DON'T.

OR APPRECIATE DISHONESTY.

AND BOTH ARE FKD UP.

NOT JUST DISLOYALTY.
NOT JUST DISHONESTY.

BOTH. AMONG OTHER FKD UP STUFF.

I DON'T GIVE UP EASILY!
IF I GIVE UP ON SOMETHING OR SOMEONE....
I'VE ALREADY FKN TRIED!
ALREADY CARED!
ALREADY WANTED FKN HARMONY!
ALREADY GOT DISRESPECTED!
ALREADY INSULTED.

JUST ALREADY.... GAVE UP!

IT TAKES A LOT OF SH*T, BUT....
I FKN GIVE UP!

BECAUSE..... FK THAT!

I have "hope" that things will change.....
UNTIL I SEE THEY HAVEN'T.

I LOSE FAITH IN THINGS CHANGING.
I LOSE FAITH IN THINGS GETTING BETTER.

IF SOMEONE WON'T CONSIDER ME....
THE THINGS I'M TELLING THEM....

IS THERE A POINT?

BECAUSE IF I HAVE TO ASK IF THERE IS ONE....
I CAN'T SEE IT!

NOT THAT THERE ISN'T ONE.... 
JUST BECAUSE I CAN'T SEE ONE....

BUT... IF I CAN'T SEE IT.....
IS THERE A POINT, AT THAT TIME?

ANY POINT IN EXPLAINING MYSELF?
DEFENDING MYSELF, YET AGAIN, 
12 FKN YEARS LATER?

AFTER I HAD ALREADY FKN MOVED ON FROM THAT SH*T?

BARELY THOUGHT ABOUT IT?

WAS LIVING MY LIFE?

WITHOUT HIM?

NOT DOING ANYTHING TO HIM?

LETTING HIM LIVE HIS?

WAS THAT WHAT I WAS DOING?

I THINK SO!

WASN'T THAT THE HEALTHY THING TO DO?

WAS I DWELLING ON THE BS ANYMORE?
DWELLING ON HOW FKN UNFAIR THAT SH*T WAS?

HOW UNFAIR A LOT OF SH*T WAS TO ME?

HOW INFURIATING THAT SH*T WOULD BE?
UNDERSTANDABLY?

NOT HARD TO SEE THAT....
IF THAT SH*T WAS BEING DONE TO THEM, RIGHT?

WHY IS IT SO HARD TO SEE
WHEN IT'S BEING DONE TO ME?

IF I WAS DOING IT.....
THEY'D SEE IT!

BUT WHY WOULD I BE DOING IT?

IF THEY WERE BEING FAIR TO ME....
WOULD I HAVE ANY REASON TO BE UPSET?
NO?

THINGS WOULD HAVE BEEN COOL?
YEAH?

Bugs me to be overlooked and misjudged.....
BUT I WOULD RATHER BE ALONE!
THAN DEAL WITH THAT SH*T!

It also bugs me that when (or IF) people learn about me....

IT'S WHEN THEY LEARN THEY ARE WRONG ABOUT ME!
AND WHY THEY ARE WRONG!
AND HAVE BEEN WRONG FOR THE LAST 12 YEARS!

WAS WRONG ABOUT ME.... BACK THEN....
AND WRONG NOW!

BUT THEY ARE ALLOWED TO BE WRONG.

THEY CAN BE AS WRONG AS THEY WANT!

DOESN'T MAKE THEM RIGHT!

If they hadn't fed into lies and BS.....
WOULD THEY HAVE BEEN DECENT TO ME?

JUST THAT?

Hard to say! Right? Hard to say!

Honestly, HOW MUCH BS WAS I SUPPOSED TO TAKE?

OR EXPECTED TO TAKE?

HAVE I NOT HAD ENOUGH? ALREADY?

PRETTY SURE IT'S ALREADY BEEN ENOUGH!

MORE THAN ENOUGH!

DO I CARE WHO THINKS WHAT ABOUT ME?
OR BELIEVES WHAT ABOUT ME?

DO THEY KNOW ME? NO?
SO WHY WOULD I CARE?

BUT... SINCE IT'S ALREADY BEEN ENOUGH BS....
I DEFINITELY DON'T WANT ANY MORE BS!

WHY WOULD I?

ALREADY BEEN ENOUGH, RIGHT?

SHOULD IT BE MY PROBLEM IF SOMEONE
WANTS TO BELIEVE BS?

IF SOMEONE WANTS TO TREAT ME LIKE SH*T
BECAUSE OF SOMETHING THEY THINK ABOUT ME.....

WHY WOULD I STAY?

I MOVED ON LIKE I HAD A RIGHT TO DO!
HE HAD A RIGHT TO, TOO! I LET HIM!

WHY DO ANYTHING "TOXIC"
FOR JUST BEING DISCARDED?

SET ME FREE! OKAY? DID THAT.

I AM FREE OF ANYONE WHO WOULD DISCARD ME.
WHEN THEY DO THAT. I'M FREE OF IT.

FREE OF THE UNFAIRNESS. OF THE BS.
OF THE ONE-SIDENESS.

OF THE ASSUMPTIONS....
OF WHATEVER BS JUDGEMENTS.... OF ME.

FOR WHAT? JUDGING ME FOR WHAT?
IN THE WORST WAYS FOR WHAT?

DID I DO ANYTHING TO HIM?
EVEN BEFORE WE TRIED TO "RECONNECT"
THE FIRST TIME?

DID HE HAVE ANY ISSUES WITH ME? NO?
BECAUSE I NEVER FKN CREATED ANY!
THAT'S WHY!

BUT FUNNY HOW PEOPLE CAN THINK AND SAY
WHATEVER....
AND THEN PEOPLE CAN TURN ON ME....
JUST LIKE THAT.

WITHOUT THINKING ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE....

IF THEY WERE GOING TO BE COMMITTED....
TO MISUNDERSTAND ME......
OKAY! THINK WHATEVER YOU WANT TO!

DOESN'T MEAN THEY WILL EVER UNDERSTAND!
ME OR ANYTHING ABOUT ME!

SO THERE IS NOTHING I CAN "DO OR SAY"
FOR THEM TO SEE ME "CORRECTLY."

RIGHT?

SO THEN... SHOULD I KEEP TRYING?