Judgments

I used to be around very judgmental people.
I used to think like that because I was around that sh*t so much.

IT WAS ACTUALLY A HABIT.
A HABIT I DIDN'T NEED TO HAVE.
A HABIT I DIDN'T THINK TOO MUCH ABOUT....

Until.... I REALIZED I WAS DOING IT.....
AND DOING IT OFTEN....
LIKE THE PEOPLE WHO WERE AROUND ME....

WHEN I WAS NOT AROUND THEM AS MUCH.....
I THOUGHT MORE TO MYSELF AND FOR MYSELF.
THEY HAD NO INFLUENCE ANYMORE.
ON HOW I THOUGHT. OR THINK TODAY.
THEY DON'T.

WE ARE VERY DIFFERENT.

ALSO, I DON'T WANT TO BE LIKE THAT.
SO.... I'M NOT.

JUST THAT.

BECAUSE WHO AM I TO SEE A FEW THINGS ABOUT SOMEONE
AND THINK THAT'S EVERYTHING ABOUT THEM?

IS IT EVERYTHING ABOUT THEM?
OR ONLY A FEW THINGS ABOUT THEM?

ALL THE THINGS YOU REFUSE TO SEE ABOUT SOMEONE.....
ARE STILL FKN TRUE ABOUT THEM!!!!!!

IMAGINE THAT?
MIND FKN BLOWN! FK!

A*** CAN CODE? I WANT TO WORK WITH HER!

YEAH, A*** LEARNED HOW.
YOU COULD HAVE, TOO.

BUT...... WHY WOULD I WANT TO WORK WITH SOMEONE
WHO ALREADY DECIDED: WORTHLESS?

WOULD YOU? PROBABLY NOT!

But...... It is easy to JUDGE AND MISJUDGE SOMEONE.

CERTAIN THINGS ABOUT THEM.....
ARE NOT THEIR ENTIRE REALITY OR PERSONALITY.

JUST BECAUSE I DGAF TO BE LIKE "EVERYONE ELSE"
DOESN'T MEAN: WORTHLESS.

IT MEANS I DO NOT "HAVE TO BE" LIKE "EVERYONE ELSE."
THAT IS WHAT IT MEANS. NOTHING ELSE.

ALSO...... IT MEANS......
MAYBE: I DO NOT WANT TO BE LIKE "EVERYONE ELSE."

FK THAT.

IF 99.9% OF PEOPLE....... ARE XYZ.......
SHOULD I WANT TO BE LIKE THAT?

JUST TO "FIT IN"? 
WHY WOULD I WANT TO? 

I FKN DON'T! THAT'S WHY I DON'T.
AND I AM TOTALLY OKAY WITH THAT!!!!!!!

I AM ALLOWED TO BE "DIFFERENT."

I'M NOT "BETTER" FOR BEING "DIFFERENT."
I'M JUST...... DIFFERENT!

THAT'S ALL.

I'M ONLY "BETTER" IN THE SENSE....
THAT I FEEL BETTER THAN I USED TO......
ABOUT MYSELF.......

AND THAT'S ALL I NEEDED. FROM ME.
NOT FROM ANYONE ELSE. 

"STUCK LOOKING AT WHAT THEY JUDGED ME FOR."
IF THAT'S ALL THEY CAN SEE......

THERE'S A SH*T LOAD OF THINGS THEY DON'T!

"SHE'S A SINGLE MOM!"
THAT MUST MEAN XYZ ABOUT HER!
MUST MEAN NO MAN WANTS HER!
MUST MEAN THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH HER!
BECAUSE SHE NEVER GOT MARRIED!

WELL..... IF I EVER GOT MARRIED.....
I'D BE DIVORCED!!!!!!!!!

BECAUSE NOBODY SEEMS TO CARE.....
TO SEE ANYTHING ABOUT ME...

SO...... WOULD THERE HAVE BEEN A POINT?
IN GETTING MARRIED?

JUST TO DO THAT?

JUST BECAUSE MOST PEOPLE MY AGE ARE MARRIED?

SEE WHAT I MEAN?

Should it "trigger me" when someone can't see something about me?

THEY NEEDED TO PUT ME IN A BOX.
TO FEEL "COMFORTABLE" WITH ME.

WITH THEIR "UNDERSTANDING" OF ME.

BUT.... DID THAT MEAN THAT THEY WERE RIGHT?

At one point.... I DID WANT TO BE MARRIED.
CHOSEN. LOVED. ETC.

BUT........ WHY WOULD I WANT THAT.......
WHEN MOST PEOPLE CAN'T SEE ANYTHING ABOUT ME?

"SHE'S NOT MARRIED! SHE MUST BE XYZ!"
HOW ABOUT FK YOU FOR THINKING THAT!?

JUST BECAUSE YOU THINK SOMETHING ABOUT SOMEONE.....
DOES NOT MEAN IT IS TRUE!!!!!!!!!!!

PEOPLE CAN THINK ALL KINDS OF THINGS!
ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY CONSIDER VERY FKN LITTLE!

THEY NEEDED TO SEE "PROOF"
THAT I WAS WORTH A DAMN.

SHOULD I BE OBLIGATED TO PROVE MY WORTH?
BECAUSE THEY CAN'T SEE IT?

NO!!!!!!!! I AM NOT OBLIGATED TO DO THAT!

THEY ALREADY "DECIDED"
WHAT THEY WERE "WILLING" TO SEE....
AND WHAT THEY REFUSED TO....

RIGHT? SO....... SHOULD I SPEND MY ENTIRE LIFE....
"LOOK! YOU WERE WRONG!"? FK THEM! 
THEY CAN GO FK THEMSELVES!

SIDEWAYS WITH A SURFBOARD.
WITH CRAZY GLUE LUBE.

OKAY?

THAT IS WHAT THEY CAN DO.....
AND THEY CAN DO IT THRICE ON SUNDAYS!

OKAY?

"I TREATED YOU LIKE SH*T BECAUSE I THOUGHT YOU HAD NO FUTURE!"

I DGAF WHAT ANYONE "THOUGHT."

DOES NOT MEAN IT WAS EVER TRUE.......

IT WAS A FKN SH*T MENTALITY.