My Reaction To BS Isn't The Problem

Trying to paint me as something I'm not
AND LYING TO ME
ISN'T GOING TO "MAKE ME"
"THE SAME AS I WAS BEFORE."

WANTING PEOPLE TO THINK
THEY DID NOTHING WRONG
WHEN THEY DID A LOT OF SH*T WRONG...
NO.

Wasn't ever my REACTION TO THEIR SH*T
THAT WAS EVER THE PROBLEM. 

WANTING TO DISCUSS IT.
WANTING ACKNOWLEDGEMENT... 
WANTING CONSIDERATION AND RESPECT
WAS NEVER THE PROBLEM. 

REFUSING TO DISCUSS IT, 
REFUSING TO ACKNOWLEDGE THE BS... 
REFUSING TO BE CONSIDERATE... 
REFUSING TO RESPECT ME... NO.

It shouldn't take walking away from anyone
FOR THEM TO FKN GET IT.

THAT I'M NOT PUTTING UP WITH BS. 
IT'S A WASTE OF TIME. 

1) Never had to do that sh*t to me

He's try to use my feelings against me if I let him do it. 

NOBODY IS FKN LOYAL TO ME, PERIOD. 

THEY ARE LOYAL TO THEIR "NEED" OF ME. 
THAT'S IT. 

My brother finally contacted me the other day... 
HE'D BEEN FKN IGNORING ME, 
UNTIL WHAT?
HIM AND HIS GF BROKE UP. 

GUESS WHO'S GOING TO ASK
IF HE CAN STAY WITH ME?|
LIKE ALWAYS... 

AFTER I CALLED HIM, TO TALK TO HIM
AND WHAT? DIDN'T ANSWER THE CALLS?

DIDN'T CALL BACK?
JUST CONTACTS ME WHEN I'M THE "ONLY ONE"?

The other day one of my friends called me. 
AFTER SEEING A COMMENT I MADE. 
HE TOLD ME THIS. 

"YOU KNOW WHAT MADE ME THINK OF YOU?
I SAW YOUR COMMENT IN XYZ GROUP
ABOUT XYZ..."

"WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME I TALKED TO YOU?"
WAS BEFORE I MOVED HERE.

"ALMOST A YEAR AGO?"
I WASN'T GOING TO CALL HIM. 
I WANTED TO SEE HOW LONG IT WOULD TAKE
FOR HIM TO CALL ME.

BECAUSE I WAS ALWAYS THE ONE CALLING. 
REACHING OUT. 
ASKING TO HANG OUT. 
TRYING TO MAKE PLANS
THAT GOT CANCELED. 

HE LEFT ME HANGING ON MY BIRTHDAY.

HE COULD HAVE GOT A RIDE
FROM HIS NEIGHBOR
OR ASKED HIS NEIGHBOR
TO COME BY TO PICK ME UP
BECAUSE HE WAS SUPPOSED TO COME GET ME
AND WE WERE SUPPOSED TO HANG OUT
FOR MY BIRTHDAY. 

But people can keep saying "Sorry"
BUT IF THAT'S ALL IT IS, A WORD
WITHOUT CHANGING, 
GROWING OUT OF THEIR BS... 
I'VE OUTGROWN THAT SH*T. 

People just don't learn how serious I am
ABOUT NOT BEING ABOUT IT
AND AFTER GIVING THEM CHANCES
AND STILL CHOOSING TO BE
ABOUT THEIR BS... 

KNOWING THEY WOULDN'T BE
ABOUT MY BS... 

AND STILL THINKING NOTHING'S CHANGED?
I HAVE!

BECAUSE I GOT FED UP.

AND I AM ALLOWED TO NOT WANT
ANOTHER ROUND OF BS. 

BECAUSE THAT'S ALL IT'D BE. 
THAT'S ALL IT WAS!

BUT MY "REACTION" ISN'T THE PROBLEM. 
THE PROBLEM IS THE REFUSAL. 
THE BS. 

IF YOU REFUSE TO GROW TF UP, ARE YOU GOING TO?
EVER?

ONLY IF YOU WANT TO!
AND IF YOU THINK YOU DON'T HAVE TO
ARE YOU GOING TO WANT TO?

EVEN IF YOU KNEW YOU HAD TO, 
WOULD YOU WANT TO?

IF IT'S "TOO HARD" TO JUST ACT RIGHT, 
WOULD YOU WANT TO?

Or do people only "want to" if it's "easy"?

"It's easy to do the wrong things. 
Harder to do the right things..."

Sure, it's easy to do the wrong things. 

BUT DOES IT MEAN YOU HAVE TO?

IF YOU DON'T HAVE TO? WHY DO IT?

ISN'T IT EASIER NOT TO DO SOMETHING
YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO?!

LIKE ACT LIKE A TW@T OR BE ONE?

The thing is I gave so many chances, 
and tried more than once... 

TO GET WHAT I GOT. 

AND I KNOW THAT IF I WERE TO GIVE
YET ANOTHER FKN CHANCE
NOTHING WOULD CHANGE. 

BECAUSE IT COULD HAVE CHANGED
THE LAST TIME I GAVE A CHANCE. 
CORRECT?

AND IT DIDN'T.
SO WHY WOULD I TRY YET AGAIN?
FOR THE EXACT SAME SH*T? 

Every time someone slams the door in their own face... 
I'm supposed to open it back up and be all like
"Welcome home!"?

Into MY home? My life?!
WHEN THEY WERE INITIALLY WELCOMED
BEFORE THE BS BEGAN... 

Can't just be about massive bs... 
AND THINK I'M GOING TO DROP IT. 

I'LL DROP YOU BEFORE I DROP THE FACT
YOU NEVER HAD TO BE ABOUT YOUR BS.

I don't like dropping people. I don't. 
BUT CERTAIN THINGS I DON'T NEED
AND THEY SHOULD ALREADY KNOW THAT. 

I ALREADY KNOW THEY DON'T NEED MY BS
THAT'S WHY I'M NOT ABOUT THAT SH*T.

If I asked my neighbor to help me sell something
AND THEN JUST SAID FORGET IT, 
I'LL DO IT MYSELF.... ?

IF I TREATED HIM LIKE THAT...
WOULD HE WANT TO DEAL WITH ME?

How many times should I be allowing someone
to fkn do anything to me?
Disrespect, disregard... Be inconsiderate... 

BUT THEY VALUE WHAT I BRING TO THEIR LIFE. 
THEY DON'T VALUE ME. 
AS A PERSON. 

IT BUGS ME. 

Mirror smasher was hot and cold to me. 
FK THAT SH*T. 

YOU WANT TO BE COLD?
I'LL SHOW YOU. 

YOU CAN'T BE COLD TO ME
THEN TURN AROUND AND "PRETEND"
TO BE DOWN WITH ME. 

YOU THINK I WON'T SEE THAT?
YOU THINK I DIDN'T LEARN FROM THAT?
I DID! I CHANGED!
I'M NOT THE SAME A***
WHO WANTED YOU IN MY LIFE.

Someone who did something more than ONCE
WILL DO IT AGAIN. 

Like Iron Heart. 
HE DIPPED TWICE. 

LETTING HIM BACK INTO MY LIFE, 
IS JUST SETTING MYSELF UP
FOR HIM TO DO THAT SH*T AGAIN. 

No matter how I ever felt about him, 
I'm not putting myself through anything, period. 

I'm not going to be "blind" to anyone's BS. 
ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. 

You can't throw A WHOLE PERSON AWAY
AND GET MAD
THEY WANT TO STAY AWAY!

Why would I want fake @ss apologies?
FOR SH*T THEY INTENTIONALLY DID
AND CHOSE TO DO?