I Really Could Have

It wasn't just mirror smasher, though. 
It was EVERYONE AROUND HIM
WHO WANTED TO TRY, ME. 

THEY WANTED ME TO "POP OFF."
It bugs them that I'm not "popping off."

THEY WANTED HIM TO PUSH ME AWAY
AND HE THOUGHT HE WAS GOING TO GET
SOMETHING FROM DOING IT, 
BUT GOT NOTHING FROM IT
BECAUSE THERE WAS NOTHING TO EVER GET
FROM IT. 

And I don't have to do sh*t to them. 
Even for all the sh*t they did to me. 

Now he wants to feel "cheated" out of me?
Out of what could have been?

HE CHOSE THAT SH*T!

COULD HAVE SEEN IT FOR WHAT IT WAS... 
REFUSED TO... 

SO I STOPPED TRYING. 

They wanted me to "hurt."
And not just "hurt," but "hurt badly."

THAT SH*T DOESN'T WORK, 
BECAUSE 1) I SEE THAT SH*T FOR WHAT IT IS. 

2) WHY SHOULD IT MATTER ENOUGH TO ME
FOR IT TO "HURT" LET ALONE "BADLY"?

AND YOU DO THAT SH*T, IN GENERAL,
THAT COMES OUT. 

In ways they have no control over. 

THAT'S WHY I DON'T HAVE TO "FIGHT BACK."
LIKE THEY WANTED ME TO. 

IF I DID, I'D BE RACKING UP MY OWN "KARMA."

Just like they are for TRYING ME IN THE FIRST PLACE. 

The ones who tried to "orchestrate" my "downfall"
WERE ALL CONNECTED TO HIM. 

THE ONES WHO TRIED KEEPING US APART, 
BUT BECAUSE HE LET THEM, 
I'M NOT ABOUT TO GAF ANYMORE. 

AND THE ONES WHO LITERALLY CONTACTED ME
TO TRY TO COME AT ME... 

HE WENT ALONG WITH THAT AND STILL IS. 

HE PUT HIMSELF IN THAT SH*T SO HE CAN STAY IN IT. 
THEY WANTED TO HOLD HIM BACK
OUT OF JEALOUSY, 

BUT THEY LITERALLY LOSE THEIR SH*T
BECAUSE THEY CAN'T "TAKE ME DOWN."
BECAUSE I DON'T PLAY.

I know he sees it now, but is that my problem?

COULD HAVE LISTENED WHEN I TOLD HIM. 

HAD HE LISTENED, MAYBE... HE'D HAVE SEEN THAT.

He listened to them. Trusted them. Not me. 
So? Why should I tell him fkn anything?
I already did! 

Wanted me to go through "a harsh painful ending..."
WANTED ME TO FEEL "DESPERATE"
TO BELONG AND TO BE LOVED... 

When I was a teenager, sure. I was. 
But not now. 

SO WANTING SOMEONE TO FEEL "REJECTED"
AND "HURT" AND ALL THAT SH*T... 

AND MIRROR BREAKER THINKING HE WAS
GOING TO GET SOMETHING
FROM DOING THAT SH*T... 

FROM "SWITCHING TEAMS"... lol. 

WHAT DID YOU GET? LOL. 

BUT DOING THAT AND BEING LIKE THAT
IS FKN GROSS TO ME. 

FROM THEM, FROM HIM, FROM ANYONE. 

IT WOULD HAVE BEEN GROSS COMING FROM ME, TOO. 

HER FAMILY AND FRIENDS
ARE JUST LIKE HER... 

THAT'S WHAT HE'S LEFT WITH
BECAUSE HE CAN'T COME BACK MY WAY. 

Imagine realizing you can't actually trust
the people you chose to be around?

AND THE PERSON THEY DIDN'T WANT YOU TO TRUST
WAS THE PERSON YOU COULD HAVE TRUSTED... 

He wasted his own time by wasting mine. 

Imagine discarding the person you should have trusted?

AND THEN HOLDING ONTO THE BS
TO TRY TO MAKE IT LOOK LIKE
YOU DIDN'T LOSE HORRIBLY?

I don't even feel bad for him. 
For going through what he chose. 

Like you can lead a horse to water... 
BUT YOU CAN'T MAKE THEM DRINK. 

YOU CAN TELL SOMEONE THE TRUTH, 
BUT YOU CAN'T MAKE THEM SEE IT. 

SHE WANTED TO FIGHT ME LOL. 
SHE WANTED ME TO WANT TO FIGHT HER LOL. 

IF HE CAN'T SEE THAT... 
WHY FKN TELL HIM ANYTHING?

I made changes, though.
I'm not going to waste my time "fighting" someone
who wants to "fight" me. 

WHO WANTED TO FIGHT ME THE WHOLE TIME. 

WHETHER HE HAD ANYTHING TO DO WITH ME
WAS NOT UP TO ANY OF THEM. 

IT WAS UP TO HIM. 

AND BECAUSE HE CHOSE TO BE/ACT LIKE THAT....
BECAUSE OF THEM OR WHATEVER OTHER BS REASONS... 

AND BE AROUND THOSE WHO ARE/ACT LIKE THAT... 

WANTING TO LITERALLY FIGHT ME FFS.

IF THEY WERE SECURE IN THEMSELVES, 
THEY WOULDN'T WANT TO. 

THEY'D JUST LEAVE ME TF ALONE. 

LIKE I WASN'T CONTACTING THEM
OR "THREATENING" THEM, ETC... 

OR DOING FK ALL TO THEM. 

THE REASON THEY LIED ABOUT ME
IS BECAUSE THEY CAN GET DESTROYED BY THE TRUTH. 

TRUTH IS SUPPOSED TO DESTROY LIES... 

BUT WANTED TO BELIEVE ALL THAT SH*T... 

AND WANTED ME TO "COMPETE"
COMPETE FOR WHAT? FOR BS?
YOU CAN "WIN" YOUR BS ALL YOU WANT TO!
GO FOR IT!

YOU WIN!!!! LOL!!!!! ENJOY!!!!

I WANTED TO SAY THAT IF HE SAW THE TRUTH, 
HE WOULDN'T HAVE ACTED LIKE THAT... 

BUT HE'S JUST AS BAD AS THEY ARE. 
SO WHY?

WANTED TO TRY TO "CONTROL" MY GROWTH, 
MY OPPORTUNITIES... ETC... 

THEY CAN'T! BECAUSE I CAN JUST WALK AWAY
SO THAT'S WHAT I DID.

HOW IS THAT WINNING?
"MAKING ME WALK AWAY"?
"MAKING ME HURT SO BAD I WANT TO DRINK"?
(I DON'T BUT THAT'S WHAT THEY WANTED!)

AND REFUSING TO SEE THAT... WHY BOTHER?

What bothers them the most is that I don't care anymore. 
THEY HAVE TO KEEP UP THEIR SH*T
EVEN AFTER I'M ALREADY GONE LOL. 

WANTED ME TO RELAPSE. 
WANTED TO "KICK" ME WHILE I WAS "DOWN."

NOT REALIZING I CAN PULL MYSELF UP?
WITHOUT THEIR "HELP"?
WITHOUT ANYONE?

The point was I really could have "popped off"
BUT WHY SHOULD I?
JUST TO SAY I DID?
FOR THEIR "ENTERTAINMENT"?