Adding Pages

I slept for a bit. Decent dreams. 

They were... A little "spicy."
Red light, green light lol. 

Anyway, I get a little, in my dreams lol. 

I'll probably try to sleep after writing this. 

I started working on my vault page. 

I made a download page to promote my stuff... 
And provide free downloads... 
My download buttons work and the PDFs download. 

I made a popup that triggers when a button's clicked. 
And the popup has a form on it connected to a Google Sheet. 

So I can collect names and email addresses from the form. 

There's another page I have to add the form to, 
but I'm not doing it tonight. 

I already did a bunch of things tonight. 

I did a homepage tonight. It took a while. 
I started two other pages so I won't have a lot to do on them. 
They've already been started. 
Mostly together, just need to do some design stuff. 
Add more links, some ads, and I'll be good to go. 

The worst thing is getting traffic, though. 

After that, though, I'll set up my blog on there. 

I'm not linking this one to that one, 
or that one to this one. 

I'm keeping them separate. 

I'm making progress, though, 
then I have my marijuana site to work on... 

And I found out that ChatGPT can write crochet patterns lol. 
So what kind of site do you think I'm going to build
after these ones are set up? I already have 2 domains
in that niche lol. Been sitting on them. 

Been sitting on a few, actually. 
More than a few. 

Got a few domains for other people, too. 

I've got some other projects in mind, too. 

And helping some people with theirs... 

But the goal will be to run ads on there. 
On the pages with the free stuff, 
and if I make any tools they can use on my site. 

I bought a domain with the intent on building a traffic site.

And maybe set it up so vendors can have affiliates on there... 
I don't know how to pull it off, but it would be cool if I could. 

To have my own safelist site... 
To make money on advertising... 

That would be ideal. 

Just tired. Like in my soul. 
Tired. Drained emotionally. 

Just starting to get back to myself. 

It just bugs me how AFTER I WARNED HIM
ABOUT THE POINT OF NO RETURN, 
HE STILL WENT AND TOOK IT TOO FAR. 

NO COMING BACK FROM THAT.

AVOIDING GROWTH. 
MATURITY. 

CAN'T TELL ME THAT IT WAS A 
"MISUNDERSTANDING." IT WASN'T. 

Warning him should have been enough, right?
HAD HE LISTENED TO ME THE FIRST TIME... 

FUNNY HOW HE WANTED MY ENERGY, 
TO WASTE MY TIME, ETC... 

AND GOT MAD THAT HE COULDN'T
GET OVER ON ME. 

COULDN'T MANIPULATE ME. 
COULDN'T GET WHAT HE WANTED
BY TRYING TO MANIPULATE ME. 

TRYING TO USE MY EMOTIONS
AGAINST ME. 

And calling him out "imasculated" him?
NO, OWN YOUR SH*T
LIKE A MAN. 
THAT'S IT. 
IF YOU CAN'T FKN DO THAT, 
WHAT ARE YOU? A MAN?

REFUSING TO OWN HIS, 
BUT EXPECTING ME TO OWN MINE. 

I DIDN'T SIGN UP FOR COMPETITION
OR A BATTLE OF WITS AND WILLS. 

OR FOR FKN @BUSE. 
VERBALLY, EMOTIONALLY... 
FKN BETRAYAL. 

HE WAS WILLING TO GO THERE. 
WITHOUT A SECOND THOUGHT. 

AND EXPECTED ME TO KEEP "TRYING"?|
FOR HIM? DA FUQ?

FOR THAT SH*T?

SH*T I DON'T FKN DESERVE?

Wouldn't you be tired, too?
Wtf is that sh*t? Y'know?

IMAGINE TREATING SOMEONE LIKE THAT
AND EXPECTING THEM TO KEEP "TRYING"
AND KEEP BEING THERE?

I'm worth more than to be treated like that. 

IF HE WANTS TO BE A HEARTLESS D*CK, 
HE CAN GO BE ONE TO SOMEONE ELSE. 

ROLLED THE DICE, LOST ME. 

WHY WOULD I BE INTERESTED IN THAT?

I KEPT GIVING CHANCES FOR HIM TO FKN REDEEM HIMSELF
AND HE COULD HAVE SEEN THAT AND CHOSEN TO... 

BUT WHY DO THAT WHEN HE COULD
MAKE EXCUSES FOR BEING A D*CK?

And what he thinks is "immasculating"
IS CALLING OUT HIS BS. 

AND IF HE DIDN'T WANT ME TO DO THAT, 
MAYBE HE SHOULDN'T BE FULL OF SH*T. 

PROJECTING HIS EGO AND INSECURITIES. 

His insecurities have fk all to do with me. 
Just like mine have nothing to do with anyone else. 

Why blame mine on anyone?
Is it their fault?

BUT I GET BLAMED FOR THEIRS, RIGHT?

Whether it's jealous females or inconsiderate males... 

Maturity is hard to find, these days. 

SO WHY WASTE TIME LOOKING FOR SOMETHING
THAT FKN RARE?

IS IT GOING TO KNOCK AT MY DOOR?

JUST DROP OUT OF THE SKY? NO?

BUT I'VE SEEN ENOUGH... BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH. 

TIRED OF BEING LET DOWN, DISAPPOINTED, 
INTENTIONALLY HURT... 
MISLED... USED. 

But I get not wanting to GET or BE hurt. 
And if someone thinks I'd do that to them, 
they'd just push me away, right?!

But that doesn't excuse not getting to know me. 
TO REALIZE WHAT KIND OF PERSON I REALLY AM... 

BUT WHEN SOMEONE IS TOO IMMATURE
TO EVEN TALK WITH... 

And when I'm FINE WITHOUT ANYONE...
AND LETTING ANYONE IN IS A CHOICE... 

99% CAN JUST FK RIGHT OFF. 

Especially someone who acts like that
and thinks it's "cool" and "interesting."

"If I keep wasting the chances she gives me, 
she'll give me more chances..." Fuq dat. 

I don't want to give anyone that many chances ever again. 

He has to realize HE PUT ME WHERE HE PUT ME. 
AND HIM NOT LIKING IT, 
WELP, I'M HERE BECAUSE OF WHAT HE CHOSE. 

I DIDN'T CHOOSE IT. 

What was it that I wanted? Respect?
TO JUST BE FKN VALUED?
THAT'S IT?

DID I EVER HAVE MY HAND OUT FOR MONEY?

EVEN WHEN HE OWED ME MONEY?
STILL DOES, HASN'T PAID IT ALL BACK... 

IDGAF IF HE DOES OR NOT. 
HE HAD THE CHANCE TO. 

It's tiring. To try and try and try and try
FOR SOMEONE WHO ISN'T FKN TRYING FOR YOU. 
FOR THEMSELVES, EITHER. 

BUT MAYBE I WAS CALLING HIM OUT FOR A REASON. 
BECAUSE HE NEEDS TO SEE HIS OWN SH*T. 
HE NEEDS TO FKN OWN IT. 
WEAR IT EVEN. 

I get not wanting to be hurt, but that's an excuse. 
FOR FKN TRYING TO DESTROY SOMEONE LIKE ME. 
NOT A REASON!

YOU THINK I WANT TO BE HURT, EITHER?
YOU THINK I WANTED ANY BS?

But when someone's motivated by the wrong things
FOR THE WRONG REASONS, 
WHY SHOULD I BE ON BOARD WITH THAT? I'M NOT. 

SHOULDN'T EXPECT ME TO BE. 

But trying to fight me for no reason
IS TRYING TO FIGHT ME FOR NO REASON. 

EXCUSES AND FALSE BELIEFS AREN'T REASONS. 

Excuses and false beliefs are excuses and false beliefs. 

I offered him a new beginning. An out. A choice. 

BUT HOW MANY TIMES WAS HE WILLING TO
FKN BETRAY ME?

SO EXCUSE ME FOR TAKING MYSELF ELSEWHERE. 

And talking the talk is different from walking the walk. 
At the beginning, he talked a good game. 

THAT'S WHY I THOUGHT IT WAS GOING SOMEWHERE. 
ONLY TO REALIZE IT WASN'T. 

DISAPPOINTING. 

But how am I supposed to expect to ever get anything I wanted?
DID IT EVER MATTER WHAT I WANTED?

DOESN'T SEEM SO. 

And what did I want? The moon and the stars?
All the money in the world?

OR DID I JUST WANT SOME RESPECT?!

JUST THAT? WOW! TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR!
FROM ANYONE!

SO WHY FKN TRY FOR ANYONE ANYMORE?
FOR BS? NO THANKS. 

I guess it still bothers me. A lot. 

But that's what HE chose. 
Did I choose to do that sh*t to him?

WHY WOULD I ROLL THE DICE LIKE THAT?
TO LOSE?

WHAT DID I LOSE? DISRESPECT? BS?
I CALL THAT A WIN!

I'm not going to co-sign anyone's bs. 
OR KEEP ALLOWING IT. 

AND WHEN SOMEONE'S INDIFFERENT TO THEIR BS... 
HOW AM I TO EXPECT THEM 
TO GET THEIR HEAD OUT OF THEIR @SS?

I USED TO MAKE EXCUSES FOR MY SH*T. 

UNTIL I REALIZED THAT NEVER GOT ME ANYWHERE. 
IT WAS IMMATURE. 
GROSS EVEN. 

NOBODY WANTED TO DEAL WITH MY BS. 
NEITHER DID I. 

But if someone's so closed minded that they can't
EVEN THINK ABOUT THAT
OR THEIR BS...

TO TRY TO ATTACK ANYONE WHO TELLS THEM
"LOOK, YOUR BS IS TOO MUCH FOR ME.
FK OFF WITH YOUR BS."

All of that BS reflects insecurities. 

Can't manipulate me to get what you want, though. 
I'm not fkn here for that sh*t. 

And he wanted to be envied. 
HOW IS ANYONE SUPPOSED TO ENVY THAT?

MAYBE IF HE GOT HIS HEAD OUT OF HIS @SS... 

MAYBE THAT'D BE SOMETHING TO ENVY.

I wasn't trying to have control over him. 
I WANTED HIM TO CONTROL HIMSELF. 

I WANTED HIM TO WANT TO CHOOSE BETTER
FOR HIMSELF. 

AND TO BE RESPECTED AND TREATED WELL. FFS.