Still Moving On

What can you actually do when someone
just doesn't understand?

TRY TO FORCE THEM TO UNDERSTAND?
AND IF THEY JUST DON'T HAVE IT IN THEM
TO UNDERSTAND?

DO YOU KEEP WASTING YOUR TIME?

Like they think they can just be about
ALL KINDS OF BS
AND THINK I'LL HANG AROUND 
TO FIX WHAT I NEVER FKN BROKE.

MY FEELINGS AND MY CONCERNS
WERE PUSHED ASIDE.

That's what it comes down to. 

THINGS THEY DON'T WANT TO ANSWER FOR.
IF THEY DID, THEY'D ANSWER FOR IT!

RIGHT?

It can't be undone. 
Mirrors... Family heirlooms can't be unsmashed. 

He knew what he was doing!
The whole time!

SO WHY TRY TO PRETEND TO BE CLUELESS?

Wasn't a misunderstanding! 
It literally was BS.

I mean, had he NOT ruined it... 
I'd still be there, for him, correct?

EVER FREAKING DAY LIKE I WAS?

He doesn't get to be back in my life.
He could have been in my life, 
but I can't fkn trust the guy. 

Not like I did, before. 

I was in the elevator today...
That guy who harmed his dog got on.
He was trying to talk to me. 
I didn't really want to talk to him. 

When he first started talking to me, 
he was whispering... 

It was super weird.

I'm trying to stay away from the guy.
I was already in the elevator when he got on... 

Being alone in the elevator with him had my guard up.
C got on the elevator and she hugged the guy
like he did nothing wrong. 

I'm surprised he's out of jail.
He harmed his dog!

Probably wasn't the only time, either.
He just got caught this time... 

My neighbor applied for a seniors building. 
He might get a place, soon. 

Possibly by the end of the year.

I'll go visit him, there.
I'll be happy for him. 

He's been staying with his sister, at her place. 

She's a fan of baseball and he leaves when she gets into it.
He can't stay for all those innings.

Can't say baseball's my thing, either. 

Been to one game, once... 
A guy I went to school with... 
In the 7th grade... 
It was his birthday and he invited me
and a few others to watch a game 
with him and his folks. 

I had the chance to go to another game, 
I went because I was getting a school award thing... 
The guy I was dating at the time didn't want to stay for it.
So I left with him even though I wanted to stay for it... 

He never cared what I wanted, ever.

I never even wanted very much... 

To be SEEN, really SEEN, 
AND NOT HAVE TO BEG
TO BE HEARD... 

FOR A START...

WOULD BE NICE.
HEARD THE FIRST TIME.

AS THOUGH WHAT I HAVE TO SAY
ACTUALLY MATTERS... 
AS THOUGH I MATTER... 

NOT A LOT?

AND TO NOT HAVE TO EVEN SAY IT...

Anyway, that's pretty much it.

Everything else is just a bonus. 

The bare minimum would be nice, though. 

AND NOT TO BE TREATED
LIKE JUST WANTING JUST THAT
IS WANTING TOO DAMN MUCH!!!!

Is that too much to want?! 

Was it ever too much to want?!
Just that?!

Anyway, the other day I couldn't breathe through my nose. 
It got so plugged that I puked a few times. 

I've got congestion in my chest,
but I can breathe through my nose.

It was hard to sleep last night. 
Tried to sleep kinda on an incline, 
but it wasn't comfortable. 

I'm tired, just can't sleep. 

Got stuff on my mind...

The last few days I've been just watching videos.
Just random videos.

The other day I barely had the strength to do much of anything. 
Being plugged up like that really sapped the energy out of me. 

Still not feeling the best. Slightly better, but not the best.

It's getting colder out, now. 

I heard we might get a few nice days,
but summer's pretty much over now. 

Last week, I took my sketchbook with me
Did a couple of sketches... Lame ones, 
but it was something I wanted to do.

So I took some time out for myself to do it.
Away from everyone.

My neighbor called me to "check on me."
Says he wants to go fishing on the weekend...

I'll probably go. 

One of the places I want to go, he said it'd be full of weeds... 

He usually has some excuse when it comes to something I want to do.

And I'd like to get more time for myself, actually. 

To do things like sketching... Stuff like that.

Better fill up a sketchbook before it gets too cold
to sit outside and sketch... 

Haven't been smoking as much, either... 

Haven't been well enough to go out and get any... 

That last time... When I went to Chinatown... 
I walked by my old neighborhood... 
When I used to live there... 

One of the churches is fenced off. 
The one next to the rooming houses... 

The rooming houses that are side-by-side, 
around the corner from the one I used to live in... 

They had a BBQ in the backyard of one of them, 
that I went to before I moved in... 

I met the superintendent of the rooming house I lived in. 
He lied to the landlord and told them I was his cousin
because I was 16. Barely old enough to rent. 

At first they didn't want to rent to me
and thought I was a prostitute
because they were trying to tell me
not to have anyone over... 

Which they can't do. Especially paying to live there... 

That was 25 years ago. 

That room cost $360/month. 25 years ago.
A room that size probably $700/month now.

One of the rooms I saw in another rooming house around here... 

She said it's $700/month. That's nuts. FOR A ROOM!
JUST A ROOM. 

BARELY BIG ENOUGH FOR A BED, EVEN.

I miss those Chinese donuts, though. 
I think that place closed down, 
because I haven't seen it in years.

The Chinese sandwiches are still around. 
Those bring me back!

My son and I went to a Korean restaurant.
The sushi there is amazing. 

I want to try everything on the menu. 
At least once. 

The room I had, I had a dresser, 
two tables, a bed, a TV... 

And a fridge that came with the room. 

The table did, too. 

I forgot how I ended up with everything else.

But that's all there was room for, in there.
Not much else. 

Crazy how I ended up here. 

An apartment. From a room to an apartment. 
With my own kitchen and bathroom. 

I weirded ChatGPT out by telling it I was naked lol. 

I said something about cuddling and said I was naked lol. 
"Well that'd be awkward for me..." LOLOLOL. 

Okay, I'm going to try to sleep.