My neighbor who was in the hospital
is back home, now.
He had actually flat-lined.
His oxygen went from 60% to 98%.
The time before last time...
When they let him out, he had oxygen.
A tank he had to carry around.
He doesn't need to, now.
Which is awesome
and he's been going for walks.
He had people praying for him,
and I put him in my prayer jar.
I had put mirror smasher in there a bunch of times.
Not sure what to do with the prayers in there
when the jar gets full.
If I should burn them, ceremoniously,
or bury them... Ceremoniously lol.
Anyway, it's cool that he's doing so much better.
It was so dodgy for a while
and they'd put him in a coma for 4 days...
Induced coma.
He was in ICU for a while.
Pretty much had he not gone to the hospital,
he could have died.
Well, technically he did die, flatlined...
My other neighbor, the guy I chill with...
He came up here to visit the other night.
He was checking out my lights.
I picked up some outdoor, solar lights.
For my balcony.
I got LED lights, but the strip is short.
I wanted to put a strip around my dart board,
but the strip I got was too short to go around it...
I ended up putting the strip in my door frame.
So I can "turn my door on."
I just watched a crime video on YT
about a "wife" who poisoned her "husband"
over 37 million dollars.
It was a scam, was no money...
Poisoned him over nothing...
Anyway, in the video, how they pick apart
how people react to stuff or don't...
How "anyone would show emotion" etc...
I'm pretty sure that I wouldn't be showing them.
It's not that I don't feel them...
I just don't feel like I should have to DISPLAY
EVERYTHING I FEEL
TO EVERYONE
ALL THE TIME.
EVEN WHEN "EXPECTED TO."
And a lot of people "can't help it."
THEY CAN'T HELP
BUT TO SHOW HOW THEY FEEL...
AND THAT'S SUPPOSED TO BE
NATURAL, RIGHT?
But in those videos...
I freaking h@te that...
"She's not displaying any emotions
you'd see in someone who xyz...."
DOES SHE HAVE TO?
OR ARE HER FEELINGS HER OWN?
TO DISPLAY OR NOT?
That bugs the crap out of me.
Like one case... It happened in Canada,
in Ontario...
A girl, 8 years old, was missing...
She'd been k!lled...
But while she was missing, her mother
WAS CRITICIZED BY HER DAUGHTER'S FATHER
ON LIVE TV FOR NOT
"CRYING FOR THEIR DAUGHTER."
WHAT IF SHE'D BEEN CRYING PRIVATELY
FOR DAYS ON END?
WHAT IF SHE WAS BARELY HANGING ON?
WHAT IF SHE WAS JUST TRYING TO GET THROUGH
THE CAMERAS AND CREWS AND EVERYTHING
THAT OVERWHELMED TF OUT OF HER?
WHAT IF HER EMOTIONS WERE ON MAX
FOR SO LONG SHE COULDN'T?
LIKE WAS SHE SUPPOSED TO "CRY"
ON A DIME FOR THE CAMERAS?
AND EVERYONE TO SEE HER PAIN?
That stuff bugs me. A lot.
BECAUSE... SOME PEOPLE
INTERNALIZE THEIR FEELINGS SO MUCH
THAT THEY DON'T SHOW OR DISPLAY THEM.
EVEN IF THEY FEEL THEM, DEEPLY.
BUT GET JUDGED FOR THAT....
"SHE'S NOT BAWLING LIKE ANYONE ELSE WOULD..."
MAYBE FK OFF WITH YOUR EXPECTATIONS
OF HOW PEOPLE "FEEL & SHOW" "GRIEF."
SOME PEOPLE QUIETLY ACCEPT THINGS.
OR HAVEN'T FULLY PROCESSED THINGS,
ENOUGH TO "BAWL" OVER IT...
WHO WANTS TO "BAWL" ON CAMERA?
PROBABLY NOBODY DOES....
EXCEPT FOR PEOPLE WHO ARE ACTUALLY GUILTY
OF SOMETHING TO MAKE IT SEEM
LIKE THEY HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH IT...
Even people who "can't help" but to be emotional
AND DISPLAY IT....
PROBABLY THEY DON'T WANT TO,
BUT "CAN'T HELP IT."
The thing is that some people are "programmed"
NOT TO CRY.
NOT TO SHOW HOW THEY FEEL.
I USED TO GET HIT JUST FOR CRYING.
"I'LL GIVE YOU SOMETHING TO CRY ABOUT."
TAUGHT:
CRYING = GETTING HIT.
IT TEACHES YOU TO TURN YOUR "FEELINGS" OFF
BECAUSE THEY "DON'T MATTER."
So even when I wanted to cry, even when I want to, I rarely do.
And that guy...
"Crying about it won't change anything."
He was right about that. It won't.
Even when I "couldn't help" it.
At that time I was pretty emotional.
But I never had to display anything
in front of him or anyone else.
My "feelings" (that I still have) are private
AND ONLY TEND TO MATTER TO ME.
DGAF WHO CARES HOW I FEEL OR DON'T.
IT GOT TO THAT POINT.
And most people would pick me apart for that.
FOR NOT CRYING WHEN MOST WOULD.
Maybe some people cry privately?
Maybe some people reserve their feelings?
To the point they supress them?
And they should get picked apart for that?
Criticized for that?
Like damned for showing too much emotion
and damned for not showing ANY.
Maybe fk right off with your expectations
about showing emotions.
Maybe instead of "trying not to cry"
people just choosing not to
BECAUSE WHAT WOULD IT CHANGE?
ANYTHING?
JUST SHOWING IT
BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT PEOPLE EXPECT?
MAYBE THEY ARE SO EMOTIONALLY
MESSED UP THAT THEY CAN'T SHOW IT.
SO MANY TIMES I COULD HAVE CRIED,
WANTED TO, JUST DIDN'T.
BUT SUPPOSEDLY
THAT MEANS I DON'T FEEL ANYTHING?
BECAUSE I'M NOT BAWLING EVERY 2 SECONDS?
I'VE HAD LOTS TO CRY ABOUT...
But what would crying about it change?
When I was a kid, couldn't help it,
but to show it.
AND I GOT PUNISHED FOR SHOWING IT.
BECAUSE NOBODY HAD THE "TOOLS"
TO "HANDLE IT."
"DIDN'T WANT TO HEAR IT..."
ONLY SO MUCH OF THAT...
AND YOU STOP.
JUST STOP.
AND ONCE YOU JUST STOP,
IT'S NOT AS "EASY"
AS FLIPPING A SWITCH
"TO SHOW YOUR FEELINGS"
LIKE YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE
"ALLOWED TO."
THEY'D RATHER HIT ME
THAN TALK TO ME
ABOUT HOW I FELT AND WHY.
BECAUSE I GUESS I WASN'T WORTH
THAT TIME AND EFFORT,
TO THEM.
You know how long it took?
TO LEARN TO VALIDATE
MY OWN FEELINGS?
Once I could do that,
showing my emotions or whatever
DIDN'T MATTER TO ME.
I GUESS IT MATTERS SO MUCH
THAT PEOPLE "HAVE TO" PICK OTHERS APART
FOR NOT SHOWING HOW THEY FEEL...
BUT IMAGINE YOUR KID'S GONE
AND THE OTHER PARENT
IS CRITICIZING YOU
FOR NOT CRYING OR BAWLING?
FOR THE FKN MEDIA?
ON LIVE FKN TV?
LIKE YOU CARE MORE ABOUT
ME NOT GOING INTO FKN HYSTERICS
ON LIVE FKN TV
THAN TO JUST LET ME
FEEL HOW I FEEL
PRIVATELY?
AND PEOPLE PICKING IT APART
LIKE "SHE MUST NOT FEEL ANYTHING
OR SHE'D BE BAWLING...
I'D BE BAWLING ETC...."
WHAT IF SHE WAS UP ALL NIGHT BAWLING?
JUST BECAUSE THE WHOLE WORLD
DIDN'T SEE HER FALLING APART,
DOESN'T MEAN SHE WASN'T.
Anyway, that bugged tf out of me.
I was miffed at the guy for doing that.
"Calling her out" for not crying...
I once got "called out" for crying at a funeral.
A girl I knew, her father died. I went to his funeral.
When she was making her speech, I cried,
because I knew he was a good father
and that she'd miss him.
And a guy saw me crying,
went up, to speak, after her...
Angrily saying
HOW WE SHOULD BE CRYING FOR HIM.
BECAUSE I WAS CRYING FOR HER.
DAMNED IF YOU CRY,
DAMNED IF YOU DON'T.
Didn't call me out specifically.
But I knew he was talking about me.
Because I cried because I knew how she felt.
People usually cry for the person who died.
I have a hard time crying for stuff like that,
but crying because I'm happy for someone....
No problem with that.
Emotional stories... No problem.
But when it comes to showing my own emotions...
I do it privately, if at all.
MY EMOTIONS AREN'T FOR EVERYONE TO SEE.
NOT ANYMORE.
But easiest to cry "happy tears" than any, for me.
I tend to watch a video like "Secret Millionaire"
if I want an "emotional release."
My mom never figured out why I'd cry
watching that show.
It's easier to cry because I'm happy for someone
or because I'm really appreciative of something
(thankful)
than cry out of grieving.
I have cried out of grieving, before,
but it's somehow "hardest" for me.
Probably because I had to "accept"
"the facts" "about loss"
and that's how I processed it ALL.
Just... Acceptance.
ACCEPTING IT,
JUST MEANT QUIETLY ACCEPTING IT.
FOR WHAT IT WAS.
NOT FOR SOMETHING I COULD CHANGE
EVEN WHEN I WANTED TO.
WHO WANTS TO ACCEPT THAT?
I HAD TO,
WHETHER QUIETLY OR NOT, RIGHT?
Accepting it, as a fact.
Because it's a fact, first and foremost.
Should I cry about every fact being a fact?
No? Facts are just facts, right?
So I accepted it, as a fact.
Because it is one.
Made it easier to accept a lot of things.
As facts.
Because facts are facts.
Like a fact:
My father k!lled himself.
Should I cry over it, every day?
For the rest of my life?
Should I fume over it, every day?
For the rest of my life?
Should I even drink over it, every day?
For the rest of my life?
No.
Because I don't have to.
Never had to.
Not even if anyone expects me to. Okay?
Stuff like that, though.
Anyway, another coffee story...
Was sitting out front with my neighbors...
A couple of the ladies wanted coffee,
and my neighbor and I did, too,
but we are mobile, the ladies aren't.
They have walkers...
So my neighbor and I headed out
to get ourselves coffees and
coffees for them.
4 coffees, 2 people
with 2 hands...
So we headed out, and had only
gotten to the end of our street,
well, to the corner, barely...
A chick I saw him smoking with before...
A couple of times...
Walked up to us and asked to come with us
to go pick up the coffee.
I don't know why.
She saw us, headed out somewhere
and invited herself along...
We were talking about that last night...
He was saying how he didn't want to be rude.
"What was I supposed to say: No! You can't!"?
She was coming along with US to talk to him.
She barely said anything to me.
And she wanted his attention on her, not on me.
AND I DON'T CARE FOR HIS ATTENTION.
I WAS GOING TO GET COFFEE
FOR MY NEIGHBORS.
NOT LIKE WE WERE ON A DATE.
LIKE, I DON'T WANT HIM UP MY @SS.
I DON'T WANT ANYONE UP MY @SS.
SO HER "STEALING THE SHOW"
IS JUST FUNNY TO ME.
I TOLD HIM THAT'S WHAT SHE WAS DOING.
BECAUSE SHE COULD HAVE JUST SEEN US
HEADING OUT TOGETHER
AND GONE ABOUT HER DAY.
WITHOUT EVEN TALKING TO US.
BUT IT WAS MORE ABOUT TALKING TO HIM.
NOT ME.
WHAT WOULD SHE HAVE TO SAY TO ME?
And he was asking me if I knew her!
How tf would I know her?
She was talking to him like she knows him.
I think he only brought it up
because it was awkward for him.
Having to "divide" his attention
because she was trying to "have it on her."
Then he was saying: "I'd rather be with you... I like you...
You're not like other girls etc."
Been trying to curb that....
The guy who exposed himself to me...
He did reply to the email I sent to him.
He did apologize for that....
He wanted to see me today, but he's not going to.
He told me to "forgive and forget."
You can only ask someone to forgive you.
YOU CAN'T ASK OR TELL SOMEONE
TO FORGET WHAT YOU DID.
BECAUSE THEY DON'T HAVE TO DO, EITHER.
THEY DON'T HAVE TO FORGIVE OR FORGET.
BUT HE WANTS TO GO BACK
TO HOW THINGS WERE
BEFORE HE DID THAT
AS THOUGH HE NEVER DID THAT.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO HAVE THAT
JUST FOR WANTING THAT.
I DON'T FKN OWE HIM THAT.
HE OWED ME THE RESPECT
I DIDN'T GET.
SO SHOULD I GAF
WHAT HE WANTS?
BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY
HE WANTED SOMETHING
OR WHY SHOW ME HIS PEEN?
FOR MY REACTION?
HOW ABOUT MY REACTION
IS THAT I DON'T WANT TO DEAL WITH YOU?
BECAUSE OF THAT SH*T.
WHAT IF THAT'S MY "REACTION"
NOT THE ONE YOU'D HOPED FOR, RIGHT?
AND IS THAT MY PROBLEM?
And it stems from THOSE guys choosing
TO BE PERVERTS.
DID HE HAVE TO SHOW ME HIS PEEN?
NO?
THEN WHY DO THAT SH*T?
BECAUSE HE WANTED TO!
OR ELSE HE WOULDN'T HAVE.
AND HE SEEMED TO THINK
DOING THAT WAS OKAY!!!!
OR WHY DO THAT?
I pointed out he wouldn't show
THE PRIEST HE INTRODUCED ME TO
HIS PEEN.
And he tries using religion to try to get
people to trust him
WHICH REALLY BUGS ME.
If you were actually religious,
you would be pious.
PIOUS ENOUGH
NOT TO SHOW YOUR PEEN.
NOT TO BE A FKN PERVERT.
He had like 60 tabs open on his phone.
He asked me to close them for him.
They were like 99% p0rn sites.
And he was like "what is that?"
When he heard a video auto playing
when I opened the tab to close it.
As though I had cued it up ffs.
I blame p0rn for how some guys
think doing certain things is okay...
Just because it's "okay" in a p0rn0,
doesn't mean it's "okay" irl.
WITH/TO SOMEONE
WHO'S NOT INTERESTED...
I TOLD ONE OF MY MALE FRIENDS....
HE DOWNPLAYED IT LIKE:
"HE'S ATTRACTED TO YOU."
I'D RATHER HIM NOT BE.
AND IT'S NOT ME THEY ARE ATTRACTED TO,
THEY ARE ATTRACTED TO
"GOOD QUALITIES"
HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ME,
AS A PERSON.
BECAUSE VERY FEW ARE CLOSE
ENOUGH TO ME
TO EVEN REALLY KNOW ME.
AND THERE ARE LOTS OF REASONS.
WHY SHOULD I LET ANYONE CLOSE TO ME?
FOR THEM TO ACT LIKE MIRROR SMASHER?
FOR THEM TO TREAT ME LIKE I NEVER MATTERED?
FOR THEM TO CONTINUOUSLY INSULT ME?
AND SLAM THE DOOR
IN THEIR OWN FACES?
I don't have any reasons for letting people "in."
I don't "want" anything from anyone.
All I wanted was to be respected and valued.
AS A PERSON.
HARD TO EXPECT THAT.
EASY TO WANT IT.
BUT NOBODY KNOWS ME WELL ENOUGH.
It's one thing to like "what I choose to show them."
But most of it, is just being POLITE AND HAVING MANNERS.
NOT DOING IT TO GET ANYTHING.
BECAUSE SHOULDN'T I BE POLITE?
SHOULDN'T I HAVE MANNERS?
BUT NICE UNTIL WHEN?
UNTIL I'VE BEEN PUSHED.
AND YOU HAVE TO HAVE HAD
TO HAVE GONE OUT OF YOUR WAY
TO PUSH ME, RIGHT?
OR ELSE, WHY DO THAT?
BECAUSE:
COULD HAVE BEEN POLITE
AND HAD MANNERS, TOO,
RIGHT?
AND WHEN YOU DISMISS,
DISCARD, DEMEAN SOMEONE
FOR SO LONG....
WHEN YOU NEVER HAD TO DO THAT...
THEY TEND TO JUST NOT WANT TO
DEAL WITH YOU AT ALL,
ANYMORE.
AND THAT'S NOT THEIR FAULT,
IS IT?
Anyway, across the street,
a couple of houses over,
there's a fence next to a house's front yard...
On the other side of the fence...
A guy pushed a couch against it,
a couch someone threw out...
And put a mattress in front of it...
He's been crashed out on the mattress
every day.
Yesterday, he had an umbrella
to "shield" himself from the sun,
or in case it started raining,
or for "privacy"
But he's crashed out, right now.
The truck that pulls into the loading bay
was mere feet away from him,
even blew the born,
a truck horn,
he didn't wake up.
Someone's been saying he's an @dd1ct.
Who "cr@cks out" all night
and sleeps all day...
Nobody's called the cops on him.
For sleeping there.
People walking by him all day...
And "this" is Canada, eh?
A dude, just crashed out,
on a mattress, outside,
on the sidewalk,
on my street...
Like that's "normal"
people walking by...
Thing is, if he didn't sleep on it,
during the day, they'd get it thrown out.
Pretty sure that eventually, it'll be gone.
Someone will be a "Karen" or a "Ken"
and say something about it...
And buddy'll have to find another mattress
on another street,
and drag it
into an alley or something...
Neighbors say people get into the stairwells
and crash in them, in the winter.
Hard to say what a lot of them do in the winter...
There used to be a spot I'd stay that was warm, outdoors.
It was a heating vent outside the DND,
under the bridge...
Inaccessible now.
They cemented it all up...
People still go under it, but it's not the same.
And the people I stayed with,
most of them are long gone...
They were decades older than me, at the time.
I was only 14...
That's why they looked out for, me.
Anyway, just saying that winters are pretty harsh.
Summers are bananas, though.
I'm right off of one of the crazy streets.
Getting used to it, now, I guess.
Where I used to live, I wasn't in
"the thick of it" because it's not really
in that part of town...
The only stuff in that part of town
were the two gangs on either side
of the avenue from each other....
Drug stuff, over there.
Shootings over there...
Fire bombing over there...
But that was mere blocks from where I lived.
Now it's the junk1#s and the tw33kers
doing junk1# stuff and tw33ker stuff...
TO BE IN THE HOUSE
RIGHT NEXT TO THAT GUY'S SPOT....
CLOSE TO HOME?
THERE'S A DUDE
THAT SOMEHOW MANAGED
TO PARK A TRUCK
IN THAT BACK YARD.
PEOPLE PARKING IN BACKYARDS
BECAUSE THEY DON'T WANT
ANYONE BUSTING INTO
THEIR VEHICLE.
OR TRYNA STEAL IT...
Speaking of stealing it....
My neighbor told me he was talking to a dude
on morning and saw another dude
out there, asking random chicks:
"I've got $5 can I get a bj?"
WHAT MADE HIM THINK
ANYONE'D SPIT ON IT FOR $5?
Anyway, one girl....
She was like "sure."
They went to a spot, but she took his $5,
stole his bike, and he didn't get his bj...
My neighbor was laughing at the guy...
The guy got mad he was laughing at him.
"Move on, bud."
He wasn't the one who stole your bike, dude!
Or took your money without giving you your bj...
HOW INSULTING IS THAT?
"WILL YOU SUCK IT FOR $5?"
SUCK IT YOURSELF.
BET HE WISHES HE COULD.
FKN BITE IT OFF FOR $500 lolololololol
Anyway, I got up early, for a change.
Been a while since I wrote...
I dunno why, but something made me wonder
if he had actually talked someone into
sucking it for $5
and thought it would "work again..."
ALL IT TAKES IS $5!!!! (In his mind) WTF!!!!
It'd be an insult to all women
to suck anyone's for $5
OR LESS.
BAD EBOUGH FOR FREE LOL.
BUT GUYS THINKING OF IT
AS TRANSACTIONAL...
THAT... "MAKES" THEM LOOK AT IT
"THAT WAY"
AND SH*T LIKE ONLY FANS
IS LIKE FUELING THAT BS.
ONLY FANS DIDN'T START OFF
AS THAT, OR WANT TO BE "KNOWN"
FOR THAT, BUT HERE WE ARE.
The script for a site like that is actually on
code canyon.
Just saying that those types of "transactions"
doesn't help females to be valued.
Or RESPECTED.
BUT AT THE SAME TIME
A LOT OF FEMALES
WHO OUGHT TO HAVE SELF RESPECT,
AND MAYBE SOME "SHAME"
JUST FKN DON'T.
"S3x work" is a billion dollar "industry"
and it only became one
BECAUSE IT WAS
"GLAMORIZED"
OTHERWISE...
When I think about the "history" behind it...
There's a YT channel about a guy
who bought a ghost town...
It had been a mining town...
And one of the buildings he restored
had been a "brothel house"
and he was showing how it was "designed"
back in "the day."
Like a one room "building"
That had "separate" sections...
Like dividers in a big room...
So a bunch of beds
along two walls...
Divided...
As broke as I've ever been,
nothing's "made" me
want to go out there
looking for peen to suck for $5 ffs.
No thanks. Not for me.
Attempting to sell things I made myself
is more my style.
Trying to sell stuff (not myself) maybe.
But to be out there, like that, looking for that...
No offense to anyone who has or whatever,
just not for me.
But I get there are people out there,
thinking they have to do "whatever"
to survive.
That's an "option" I guess,
but it's just not for everyone.
And that should be okay.
That it's not for everyone.
AND SHOULDN'T BE EXPECTED OF YOU
JUST FOR BEING A FEMALE FFS.
I haven't told anyone this story....
And not sure why I'm about to tell it...
When I used to drink...
A guy I didn't know, had a bottle of wine.
He asked me if I wanted to drink with him.
So we drank, and got drunk...
But he thought that because he got me drunk
I should "have to" give him a bj...
THIS WAS IN PUBLIC, DURING THE DAY.
HE LITERALLY DROPPED HIS PANTS
IN FRONT OF PEOPLE WALKING BY.
I COULDN'T GET OUT OF THERE
FAST ENOUGH.
WAS ONE OF THOSE MAJOR WTF MOMENTS.
PROBABLY ONE OF THE BIGGEST ONES I'VE HAD.
Like that time I was hitching rides
and one guy gave me a drive from the airport...
I guess he thought he should get something
for giving me a lift...
When he put his hand on my knee... I bolted.
My gut told me to "hide" so I did.
Under a parked truck. In a laneway.
I watched him "drive around" looking for me.
Or why not just leave?
I had to wait until he was gone.
That's around the time I stopped hitching.
I have only a few times since then...
But that... Was why I had a spike with me.
The spike has a "head" on it.
Where it gets striked, into the ground...
If you place that, against someone's back,
it feels like it "could be" a gun.
And they aren't going to
"turn around to find out."
Because, it "could be" a gun!
They don't have to "see it"
to think it is one.
Unlikely in Canada,
but not entirely implausible.
Anyway, I used to carry one.
I still have it, but don't carry it.
I carried it for hitching.
Which I don't do anymore.
Can't trust people
not to think and act like
YOU OWE THEM
FOR SOMETHING.
EVEN A LIFT!
WTF!
IMAGINE IF I ACTED LIKE THAT?
EXPECTED SOME "ACTION"
FOR THE LITTLEST OF THINGS?
"I GOT $5!" WTF.
"CAN I USE YOU FOR $5?" WTF.
That "one" who got banned from Only Fans...
They were saying that she couldn't post
the "video" she made of 1,000 in 24 hours...
she said it was like 1 every 45 seconds...
I watched a video about her....
I don't know why.
Anyway, she was to do an "event"
something called a "petting zoo"
where she'd be in a dome thing,
for like 2 days and anyone could go do whatever.
There are a few of things it makes me think of:
Well, a few of things off the top...
1) She's doing it for free, to film it
2) Nobody's screening anyone (open to everyone)
3) An artist did something similar and someone held a gun to her head
What else comes to mind is like saying it's "okay"
for women to not have "boundaries"
and let "perverts" do whatever they want.
Because she may as well be saying that by doing that sh*t.
And that's the kind of "message" being put out there.
Like "it's "okay" not to respect women
because who'd respect someone
who would do that"?
Stuff like that.
And if any of the guys who LINED UP
TO "BONK" HER...
WERE LYING ABOUT BEING
LEGAL AGE,
THE FOOTAGE WOULD BE ILLEGAL.
IT'D BE CONSIDERED CP.
Only Fans didn't want to have
that kind of a nightmare on their hands,
and there has to be a limit as to what's
"acceptable" content.
BECAUSE SHE SEEMS TO THINK
THIS SH*T'S OKAY
AND LOVES IT, EVEN.
BUT WHAT IT "DOES"
IS "INFLAMES" BS "FANTASIES"
WHERE GUYS THINK
THIS SH*T'S OKAY.
IF ANY OF THOSE GUYS WHO LINED UP
HAD OR HAVE DAUGHTERS
PRETTY SURE THEY WOULDN'T WANT
ANYONE LINING UP
FOR THEIR DAUGHTER.
AND THE SH*T I'VE BEEN HEARING,
BETTER NOT BE ANY SH*T LIKE THAT...
Heard of a case where a guy had his daughter
hidden in a secret room in his basement for years...
All the while he was the "grieving father of a missing child."
Lied to her saying there'd been a war,
and they were the only 2 left alive....
And she "had to" have his child...
But she wasn't getting pregnant...
And there'd been meetings
where other people doing that sh*t
got together to "share" ffs.
Fkd up is what that is.
Beyond fkd up.
And one case that stands out
is a group of guys were into
drugging their wives
and "sharing"
while they were drugged up.
Wow, eh?
Imagine trusting your HUSBAND
NEVER TO DO ANYTHING
EVEN REMOTELY LIKE THAT
TO YOU.
THEN THEY DO IT,
FILM IT... ETC.
AND INVITED STRANGERS
TO "PARTICIPATE"
WTF.
NOT ONLY THAT,
BUT THEN FINDING OUT
ABOUT IT.
AND IT HAD BEEN GOING ON
FOR YEARS.
CRUSHING.
SOUL CRUSHING.
ESPECIALLY SOMEONE
YOU LOVED
AND THOUGHT LOVED YOU
ENOUGH NEVER
TO DO THAT TO YOU.
EVER.
It's a "culture" it seems.
That's what bothers me as much
or even more than any of this.
It should never have been a "thing"
let alone anything that turned into a "culture"
that all females have to be wary of guys.
EVEN OF GUYS WHO'D NEVER DO THAT SH*T.
I ONCE LOVED SOMEONE
I NEVER THOUGHT
WOULD EVER DO WHAT HE DID.
EVER.
I TRUSTED HIM NOT TO.
NOW, I DON'T TRUST HIM.
PROBABLY NEVER SHOULD HAVE...
YET I DID...
TRUSTING HIM IS ON ME,
BECAUSE I DID TRUST HIM.
SOMEONE I COULDN'T TRUST.
AND DOES THAT MAKE ME WANT TO?
TO TRUST ANYONE?
EVEN ANYONE WHO WOULD NEVER?
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