A Rest For Today

Looks like it'll be "decent" weather, today.
Still on the cold side...

The weather I like is summer weather.
Waiting for it...
Been a long @ss winter.
Too long. 

There is a "construction "crew"
outside this building, 
I guess they are "renovating"
the "exterior."

The front area "smoking area"
isn't being "done" yet.

They are taking the bricks out
on the other side, first.

We will have to "move" to another spot.

When the "rec room"
isn't being used by staff...

We mostly sit in there, 
around the pool table.

There aren't any balls or cues.

It's just there, with a cover on it, 
and we sit in chairs, around it...

Like an actual table, 
but it's really a pool table,
with a cover on it.

And the building next door...

(Where the standoff was the other day)...
They gave us a few chairs
to have as outdoor chairs.

Before that took place...

Someone had said that he had sh0t someone.
And that was why he was running from the cops.

And someone said, today, 
that he p*ssed on the cops twice.

From the roof.

Wonder if he whipped his crap at them lol.

Like that female did at the Tim's lol.

Ever see that clip?
It was a clip of a female....

She was angry they wouldn't
let her use the washroom...

So she took a crap, right there.
And threw it at them LOL.

Anyway, that's how we got those outdoor chairs.
They are their old office chairs.
Instead of tossing them, 
they became our outdoor chairs.

Just nice to have chairs to sit in
when we go out.

It's usually one "crowd" that is there.
And people come and go.

One of the guys has lived here for 25 years.

A guy who gave me weed today...
He's been here for 18 years.

He's the guy who was in the hospital
when I moved in here.

The docs gave him a year to live.
He's on oxygen...
Carries a tank with him. 
Has those tubes
that go into his nose
for the oxygen...

He's got the cutest dog! 
The dog got scared and is so timid now.
Someone scared him really bad.
I don't know the details, 
but he's very timid because of it.

And the dog who really likes me...
He comes to me all the time, 
and sits by me, 
and stays by me.

The last time, that I saw him
before today, he wanted to be like
"guarding me" lol. 

So I get to chill with him when I see him. 
The very first time, he was like that.
The very first time I ever saw him. 

He came to me out of everyone who was there.

Today, I saw some pigeons and had some seeds left
in my bag...

Because there were two spots I was putting food
out for them...

Because I can't feed them on my balcony here...

And then I'd run out for a while...

But I saw some today, and gave them the rest
of what I had.

A brown one caught my eye, I've seen it around.
I think it's a female.

There was a white one that came to my balcony
at the old place, only once.

I've got a song stuck in my head lol. 
"I'm a rebel just for kicks now."

BECAUSE A GUY DID A COVER OF THAT SONG
AT THE OPEN MIC.

AND HE HAS THE VOICE TO HIT THOSE HIGH NOTES.
PULLED IT OFF.
WELL, WAYYY MORE THAN PULLED IT OFF.

I overheard him tell his name to G.

G was blown away by the guy.
Pretty sure everyone was.

They all rocked their guitars.

Made me miss mine...
It's not gone, just in its case...

Just waiting on a few things
before I get those strings.

There's a guitar shop down the road.
Maybe if I ask them nicely, 
they wouldn't mind helping me out
putting new strings on it, for me.

I'm kinda scared to "break" something lol. 
I've only actually put strings on it, once.
And that was a long time ago.
Hence why it needs new strings!

My neighbor said that the strings stretched.

Because it'd always been IN tune, 
because I'd play it, and just put it back
in its case...

And suddenly, it went out of tune...

Maybe I'll bring it to the open mic sometime.

Just, I'm not... "A proficient player"
enough to do an open mic thing.

Like I did one, once...

I don't do "covers" or whatever...
They do, the ones who were there, 
doing their sets.

And they all seem to know each other etc.

Anyway... I'm the "new girl."

I went there to see G, anyway. 
I saw him, and he was great, as always.

Didn't get to talk with him, 
lots of people wanted to talk with him. 

And I stayed to watch the other singers/players.

Mr. Husky lol.

I caught his actual name, but I think it's funny
to call him Mr Husky. 

He has such a husk...
That the first song he sung...

I couldn't recognize it until I heard the chorus. 

Anyway... I only got to talk to that one guy...
The guy I smoked with who I asked him about
where he learned to play the bongo. 

And we talked about busking and art.
Mostly about art
because he's an artist.

And I kinda talked about some things
that I'm planning sketches for.

I got a few sketchbooks.
A smaller one, and a bigger one. 

The bigger one, I drew a few in there...
I wrote poems around the drawings, 
in that one.

The smaller one, 
I haven't sketched or drawn anything in it, yet.

I told him that I want to get an easel
for my balcony, 
and "do" my street.
Both sides of the street.

And I want to "do" the buildings...
That I can see from here...

There's a group of buildings.
The tallest one in the group
is that tall building in Little Italy. 

A couple of people died building that thing.

My neighbor told me.
He said one fell 
and the other one... A chunk of ice
or something fell on him...

Anyway, I want to "do" those...
When the sun is going down...

The sun hits it...

Orange AND COPPER!!!

IT'S SOMETHING!

I'm only getting back into drawing
and sketching etc.

Eventually, I'd love to paint that...

If I could "capture" the light...
The way that I see it...

It'd be... Satisfying.
Just to "capture" it.

Anyway, I told him about that.
He showed me pictures of his...!!!

Very impressive.

The one he showed me, the first one....
He told me he had been trying to sell it...
Said he hasn't sold it, yet...

That one... !!!

If he had a website, he'd sell like bananas.
I mentioned it to him, but he wasn't really
thinking in that mode.

Just was very.... Mellow that night, 
except for those weird "competition" vibes.

And he did use the word "competition."
And I don't know what he meant by it.
Didn't ask. 

Just watched his set. 
Wasn't all that into his "style."

But the last guy...
He poured like everything into it.
An older Asian guy, but he let it rip. 

Was hard for me to keep track
of who did what songs.

All popular songs.

The guy that got that song stuck in my head...
He also did "Teenage Dirtbag."

G hadn't heard that song before. 

G sings songs in different languages.
He said he started with Chinese songs.

He can even sing Ukrainian songs...
I think he can do like 21 languages.

But G did a "magic" trick...

He had a handkerchief and a scarf.

He had a volunteer hold up the scarf.
He tucked the handkerchief into his hand
and made it "disappear"
and then he took the scarf from her
and put it in the hand that he made the
handkerchief disappear from, 
and the handkerchief
came out of the scarf.

LOL I didn't know it was HANDKERCHIEF.
I kept writing hankerchief.
Like hank -er chief lol.

Welp! There ya have it.
It's HANDKERCHIEF
NOT HANK ER CHIEF LOL.

I got a laugh out of it.
If ya can't laugh at yourself....
Then what are you doing with your life?

If you can't jump over a puddle
and say WEEEEEEEE!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH YOUR LIFE?

Anyway...

Got that song stuck in my head...

Tomorrow, I'm going to see my folks'

I called my mom to tell her about the standoff
next door lol.

JUST WILD.

She said she'd look for it on the news lol.
But there was only one news crew there.
A French channel.

There was talk about him being in an entirely
different incident 6 years ago...

I don't have the full 100% details on it.
But it was an incident that involved a death.

I won't say what it was, just that he was "wanted"
by the authorities...

Well, no sh*t if they'd wait your @ss out
for 12+ hours.

And it wasn't just municipal cops there.

I didn't get to "see" anything
from here.
My balcony doesn't face that way.

All I saw was the "action" on the street.

Because when I went out there, 
I just looked down to the street in front
of the building...

Saw a few there, not unusual 
considering they were trying to boot the guy's door
down the hall lol. 

Right?

But then I saw one across the street, 
and it was literally taped off, the street, 
taping off half the building...
Of this building, 

so the back of this building, 
was full of cops.

Street full of cops.
An ambulance.
Special forces!

15+ cop cars...

WHY DOES IT TAKE
THAT MANY COPS
TO GET A DUDE OFF A ROOF
AND ARREST HIM?

AND WHY'D IT TAKE 12 HOURS???!!!

At least 12 hours.

Because they said it started around 1pm.
And it "ended" around 2:30 am. 

Someone said the dude jumped
from the sixth floor
and ran into that building
because it was the closest
and ended up on the roof...

Crazy.

I am having a hard time believing the 6th floor...

I mean, sure he thinks he can "get away"
by jumping and running, 
then was he trying to hide up there?

Against a black roof in a white tank top? LOL.

And if they already seen you go in there...
THEY KNOW YOU ARE THERE.

But yeah, there was a crowd, for sure.

That's what I noticed, too.
I was seeing the taped off street, 
and the crowd... Looking...

And I couldn't tell what they were looking at, from here.
So I went downstairs...

First person I saw filled me in.
"And we haven't seen you, where ya been?"
Kinda thing.

Because I've been working on my website.
And keeping to myself while doing it.

Because I haven't been hanging out downstairs
because I've been on that "time"

But I'm using today to "reset."
Kinda thing.

And just trying to take things "easy" today.
Been stressed about this thing, 
trying to get it "resolved"
and I've been waiting TWO MONTHS ALREADY.

AND THEY COULD EASILY
JUST REIMBURSE ME
SO I DON'T KNOW WHY
IT HAS TO TAKE THEM THIS LONG
TO JUST DO IT.

Good thing I had called the insurance company
and told them to take an early payment
because I was supposed to have them both
come out.

And instead they put them on for next month!
And I hadn't agreed to that.
And they didn't tell me
until I called them. 

So I "paid" next month's down
because wham me with like double next month?
Out of left field?

When I'm already trying to catch up.

That upset me.

Because here I am, trying to catch up with them...
And they have you owe nothing this month
because the first payment went through, 
but next month.... Da fuq?

It really does feel like a "show"
where people are like screwing with me...
Intentionally....

Like they have this "set up"
and people are like "actors" lol. 

It feels like this. 
I didn't say I thought this is the case.

It just really feels like that, often.

Ever see "Just For Laughs"?
The show...

I think it's in Montreal...

Anyway, they pull pranks on people lol. 

Some of them have been pretty good.

One that I remember is they had this guy
ask for help, moving a mannequin. 

And they make it seem like the guy
dropped the mannequin's head on the ground, 
but it's really a person, in a hole
with the head sticking out, 
wearing the same wig as the mannequin lol.

They've done tons over the years.

And they do it without words.
Pretty sure they don't talk in it.
Just reactions for laughs.

Anyway, next month...
I head it off. Wrangled it at the pass...

And one more bill with this company
and going to switch companies
for my phone and internet.

I have found some affordable options.

Will feel nice for a fresh start.
With a company that hasn't
tried to bleed me through the nose.

Bloody noses...

I don't know if I get to tell this story...
Because the guidelines about certain topics
like v10l#nc#.

I was like 7 years old...
So... How v10l#nt
would you think I'd be at that age?

Anyway there was an older guy...
Older than me.
He was 10 years old or older.

He kept bothering me at recess.

Anyway, when we were going back
into the school...

I knew he'd be RIGHT BEHIND ME
BECAUSE HE WAS RELENTLESS.

So his thing was calling me a "baby."

So when he was right behind me...
I turned around and socked him in the face lol.

BROKE THE GUY'S NOSE.

HE WAS CRYING.

SO I SAID: "WHO'S THE BABY NOW?"

I got suspended for that. 2 weeks.

Anyway, I don't "condone" v10l#nc#.
There are guidelines about talking about such things.

And I was 7, so....

And that was the first time I'd socked anyone.
HE WAS RELENTLESS
UNTIL HE WASN'T.

I felt bad that I broke his nose, though.
So I actually did apologize to him, for it.
Which he accepted.

Because there was a community pool thing...
That I'd go to with my family, and he was there.
And I did apologize.

Just... He was RELENTLESS.

Like a "bully."
A bratty bully.

Wouldn't stfu.
Until that.

And again, not condoning anything.
Suggesting anything, 
implying anything.

JUST TOLD A STORY
ABOUT 7 YEAR OLD ME.

Anyway, when I get "better"
at some stuff I can really get into the good stuff.

It's just "difficult" because I know I can feel it...
I've experienced it, more than once...

But I started my system....
My own way to "practice"

When I have practiced on people, 
they said they felt it.

One guy said it cleared the ringing
in his ears lol.

I don't know if I should talk about that part.

It's a system of 20 to 0.

Each number is assigned to something.
For reiki, so it's 20 awareness of "it"
and 19 "inviting it"
18 crown chakra. Entering.
17 the mind
16 the top of the ears
15 the bottom of the ears
14 draining energy through the jawline down
13 throat chakra
12 heart chakra
11 chest like "ribs"
10 stomach
9 lower abdomen
8 root chakra
7 top of the thighs
6 above the knees
5 knees
4 claves
3 ankles
2 feet
1 toes
0 out, burn, recycle 

When I do it, I bring the energy out
and "burn" it to turn it into "smoke"
to "send it back up."

Weird, yes, I know.

But that's how I've been practicing it.

It's just that energy can be used 
in a lot of ways.

Reiki's just one way.

And no, I don't do it how most do it.
Because I have my own way.

And I'm only just experimenting.
So I can't actually call it reiki, 
it's something similar, I guess.

It's just my version of it.

Because I haven't been using... Um...
official "practices."
Like I haven't had any "training"

But one of my friends...

He's really good at it.
He says he can SEE energy.

When we've done "energy work"
he didn't really show me how it worked, 
just that it does.

And I can "roll an energy ball"
in someone's hand.

He says he can see that stuff.

It's that... People can do...
Some stuff... With it.

If they knew how to use it.

And we're not supposed to know
how to.

I can't get into all of it, just...
It can be... Wild.

Because energy is like frequency, 
vibration, heat...

Can be "concentrated"
with "concentration."

It's hard to explain it.
And I rarely ever talk about it
let alone write about it.


And if I haven't already given anyone a reason
to think I'm crazy, I just did lol.

But pretty sure I've already.

Probably should give it a rest, for today.