Sometimes Progress

Today's been one of the first days
(in a while)
I feel like I've made any progress. 

A slight bit of progress, 
can still feel like...
Progress. Y'know?

Whether it's something like a project
(in my case)
or other stuff...

What have I been making progress on?
Well, I wanted to have something set up
for a website I'm working on
so that I can "create" my own forms
and have the data from the forms
"collect" into a spreadsheet.

So I finally, after a couple of days
got the form to connect to the spreadsheet.

But here's what I'm doing next...

Since I'm collecting email addresses, 
I'm setting up an "autoresponder"
so that I can "use" the data
to send "custom" emails
with links in the emails, 
maybe even attachments, 
(I haven't gotten that far yet).

But... What I'll be doing
is that in each column on the spreadsheet
will have the emails to send out
and they'll be "timed"
and it'll show if the emails got sent
because when it sends, it updates the spreadsheet.

Pretty cool, right?

I'm doing it this way
because those pro autoresponders
that have the subscription fees to use them...

If, for whatever reason, they decide to ban
someone from using their services...

All the data that got collected through their forms...
And stored in their database is gone... Just gone.
And in that case, I'd have to start over.

So I'm learning how to set this up, 
(and I'm setting something up
so that people can use my scripts
to set up their own "autoresponder").

Most autoresponders have affiliate programs.
But they can also jack up their fees whenever they want to.

My web hosting fees increased since I started with them. 
But web hosting is crucial for me, at this point. 

I mean, I could have been building stuff out offline, 
but the scripts and trigger that starts running the script
had to be done online.

I'm using an online service (free) to set it up.

I'm trying to set it up so that it keeps the costs to a bare min.

(First, because I've been a broke-@ss for at least the last few years lol).

But also because a lot of other people are broke-@sses.

And if I can actually SHOW what I set up (for next to nothing).
Especially the scripts I am running for free...

All I've paid for, so far, is the domain and web hosting. 
I'm setting up my own autoresponder
so that people (who can't afford all kinds of subscriptions etc)
(like me) have a shot at this "thing."

Yes, it does actually take some "work" to set up.

I'm aiming to make it slightly "easier," though.

In the sense that it's not going to be all this trial and error stuff
that I've been going through the last few days...

Well, it's been ongoing for YEARS, now, 
but when I accomplish something
TOWARDS THE GOAL
IT FEELS LIKE...
I DID SOMETHING
AND MADE A TINY BIT OF PROGRESS.

Still doesn't quite feel like I can totally "exhale"
(for a lack of a better term),
but sometimes it's "easier to sleep."

I've pretty much got "what I need"
compared to a lot of other people.

I was talking about that with someone the other day.
I was telling him about the times
I imagined myself living in a condo. 

And he was here, saying, "you've got what you need.
This is all you need."

And this is much more than what he has, even. 

And I felt guilty saying: "At least I got this far."

But it wasn't to say that I did and he hasn't, yet.
It was just reflecting on my own situation. 

Because there was a time I was "out there."

So I do kinda know what it's like. 
Just that it was so long ago, now, 
THAT A LOT HAS CHANGED. 

MUCH MORE DRUGS OUT THERE.

There was "cr@ck" but not so much "m#th"
At least I never heard anything about "m#th," back then. 

Cr@ck's been around since the 80's. 
I don't know when m#th's hit "the scene."

My neighbor was telling me about
when he moved into one of the rooming houses
owned by the people who owned
the rooming house that I was in...
When I was 16...

Anyway, he moved into his
after I'd left the one I was in...

Like JUST left it...

So the one he was in was across
the main street in that area...
And around the corner
from the corner store.

He was saying that one day
he actually saw what he could only describe
as a "stereotypical" PIMP.
With three of "his girls"
near the corner store...

He started talking about it
because he was saying he was at that store, 
just got his coffee, 
getting back in his truck...

Didn't even have his seatbelt on yet...
Knock on his window, some female...

He rolls the window down...
"Can I do anything for you?" She said LOL
"Nope. Nothing." He rolled up the window, 
put his seatbelt on, and peeled tf out of there LOL.

He told me that part FIRST.

Then he told me about the PIMP he saw.

And then he told me that when he was moving into that place...
He'd already paid like 6 months in advance...

Well one of the h00kers brought a "john" over there
WITH TWO DUDES WAITING FOR THE GUY
ST@BBED HIM AND TOOK OFF FFS.

So when my friend was getting back there, 
after work, there was crime scene tape, 
the whole 9 yards...

AND I HADN'T HEARD ABOUT THAT.
1) I WAS OUT OF THAT AREA BY THEN...
2) IT'S NOT LIKE I HAVE MY EYES ON THE NEWS

I figure that if I'm going to hear about it, 
I'll hear about it.

I was outside with the guys, today, 
and I was standing in the spot
that the guy landed...

Wasn't thinking about it
until one of the guys brought it up.

He was one of the people who saw the dude
after he landed.

He was JUST going inside
AND HEARD THE GUY LAND, FIRST.

SO HE WENT OUT TO SEE WTF HE HEARD...

AND SAID HE WISH HE HADN'T. 

CAN'T UNSEE THAT.

Anyway, he brought it up, 
because I was standing
right in that spot, 
because I wasn't thinking about it.

There are times that I do think about it, though.

Mostly people try to stay
under the balconies from the second floor.

Today, the snow was melting off the roof
and it was dripping down on us LOL.

It just snowed Tuesday.
I'd like to just be done with the snow. 
It's April FFS. Y'know?

Someone was moving into the building today.
The apartment across from me
has been empty since I've been here.

You'd think they'd be renting that out
AS SOON AS THEY COULD, RIGHT?

SO WHY HAS IT SAT EMPTY 
FOR LIKE 2 MONTHS?

I don't know when they'll be putting someone in there.

I thought that was going to be the one I was moving into, 
but they put me in this one, 
on the other side of the building. 
Which is fine.
I get more sun on this side, 
I have a pretty decent view, too. 

A lot better than just looking out
at the highway LOL.

A few things I'll miss about the old place, 
but already a few things I won't miss about THIS place LOL.

The fire alarm went off TONIGHT already. 
It has gone off like 4 or 5 times
since I've been here.

2 times in 1 week. 

It costs like 40k each truck
that leaves the station. 

Something like that.

And how it got so bad with the drugs
that the EMTs can't keep up
with the overdoses 
and all the other stuff they deal with...

The firefighters are out there...
Giving those anti-drug doses
to save people's lives

BECAUSE THEY DON'T SEEM TO
GAF ABOUT THEMSELVES
ENOUGH NOT TO DO THAT SH*T.

I can kind of understand that mentality. 
Because when you don't give yourself
things to look forward to, 
even small things, 
you won't have much of anything
to actually look forward to.

Unless it's getting high or getting drunk...

And it's said that this place is "depressing."
In the state that it's in, yeah.

And even with things to do, here, 
there's only some festival type stuff
to look forward to, I guess.

But other than that, it's just...

My neighbor said to me, today, 
that he went to get a coffee, and
he looked down...
At the corner of the street
when he was about to cross the street...
And there was a pipe
with a "rock" of "something"
in the "stem."
Just laying on the sidewalk.
WTF, EH?

Someone told him to "sell it."
"No! I wouldn't sell that sh*t!"
He threw it in the garbage.

Because that's what it is.
It's GARBAGE.

But it's SO EVERYWHERE
THAT YOU CAN LITERALLY
LOOK DOWN
AND SEE SH*T LIKE THAT
JUST LAYING ON THE FKN SIDEWALK.

And that's within a block from where I'm at FFS.

And when I hear that, it's on the verge
of not even being surprising anymore.

I see sh*t like that...
Those "bands" they use
TO TIE OFF BEFORE SH00TING UP...
I'VE SEEN THOSE
JUST LAYING ON THE FKN SIDEWALK.

Who wants to see that sh*t?
But we're literally a city
WHERE YOU CAN SEE THAT SH*T.

IT'S LITERALLY RIGHT IN YOUR FACE.

AND IT'S ALMOST JUST AS BAD
AS HAVING TO LIVE AMONGST THAT SH*T.

But... On the other side of the highway...
There's none of that sh*t. 

It's clean, it's respectable, 
it's kinda "ritzy" like that other neighborhood
WEST OF HERE.

There are neighborhoods in the city
YOU'D NEVER SEE
ANYTHING LIKE THAT.

AND IF THERE IS ANYTHING LIKE THAT
WHICH THERE PROBABLY ISN'T, 

BUT IF THERE IS...
IT'S NOT IN YOUR FACE.

Anyway, it's hard to really describe it.

I was trying to explain something to my neighbor. 
I forget what it was that I was trying to say to him, 

but I was struggling to say it, verbally. 

When I'm writing, it's not a struggle to
express anything I'm thinking, 
to put it into words. 

Because I'm actually putting it into words, 
but in another way, 
a way I feel more comfortable with, I guess. 

I kind of trip over my thoughts
when I'm trying to TALK about something. 

Especially trying to explain something. 

It's frustrating.

It's not that I trip over the words, 
I trip over HOW TO SAY WHAT I WANT TO.

In person, I'm usually quiet
and I let other people TALK
because THEY WANT TO
OR THEY WOULDN'T, RIGHT?

BUT SOMETIMES I WISH
THEY'D STFU AND LET ME TALK.

AND BY THE TIME THEY STOP TALKING
I COMPLETELY FORGOT
WHAT I WAS GOING TO SAY

BECAUSE I WAITED TOO LONG
FOR MY TURN TO SAY SOMETHING.

AND WHEN I'M NOT GIVEN A FK TURN TO TALK
I DON'T FKN GET TO
BECAUSE I HAVE TO LISTEN
TO WHAT THEY'RE GOING ON ABOUT
BECAUSE THEY EXPECT ME TO, I GUESS.

BUT I DON'T GET TO TALK
SO I JUST FKN DON'T. 

Not a huge issue, but part of my "issue"
with not being "able" to "get stuff out" sometimes.

Not that it's all that important to ADD anything
to what anyone else is saying. 

JUST WOULD BE NICE
TO BE HEARD, TOO. 

JUST WOULD BE.

But it's not the end of the world
not to get a turn to talk. 

I guess I got used to keeping
the majority of my thoughts to myself. 

Sometimes, often, feeling
LIKE NOTHING I SAY 
OR WANT TO SAY EVEN FKN MATTERS.

It probably doesn't. 

Like life would just continue
doing what it does
IF I NEVER BLOGGED, EVER.

NO BIG DEAL. Y'KNOW?

So living like the "person who observes"
AND DOESN'T GET TO SAY FKN ANYTHING

AND PEOPLE THINKING I HAVE NOTHING TO SAY....

HASN'T BEEN A HUGE ORDEAL. 

It's not been as QUIET as I'd like. 
BECAUSE I'M LISTENING
TO PEOPLE WHO LIKE TO TALK
ALL THE FKN TIME
AND THEY THINK THEY FKN KNOW EVERYTHING
AND THAT I KNOW FK ALL
COMPARED TO THEM.

AND THEY ACT LIKE THEY THINK THEY KNOW THEY DO.
WHICH IS... I don't have the word for it...

Other than that just being unattractive...
It's not just a turn off (romantically)
but in every other way
other than romantically.

Like intellectually a turn off...

And that really affects a lot, for me, it does.

Like I can't get "with" that, ever.

Not because I think I'm "too good" for it...
It's just it... Leaves a bad taste in my mouth. 

Not only that, it does other stuff, too me. 
But it does something FOR me, too. 

It spells the difference between
what I will and WON'T FKN TOLERATE.

NOT ONLY THAT, BUT THAT
IS THE STARTING POINT.

IT SPELLS THE DIFFERENCE
BETWEEN A LOT.

AND THAT DIFFRENCE
CREATES THAT "THIN" LINE
BETWEEN HELL YEAH
AND FK RIGHT OFF.

Can't really put it in any other way...
Other than THAT.

Because there are times
that I want some people
TO JUST FK RIGHT OFF.

BECAUSE THEY HAD CHANCES.
THAT I GAVE THEM
THAT I DIDN'T FKN HAVE TO GIVE THEM
IN THE FK FIRST PLACE.

AND IF ALL THEY WANT TO DO
IS SLAM THE DOOR
IN THEIR OWN FACE
REPEATEDLY
THEY CAN DO THAT SH*T
WITH SOMEONE ELSE
AND WASTE THEIR FKN TIME, 
NOT MINE.

Speaking about slamming the door
in someone's own face...

I heard that a star of a tv show...
His (now ex) wife...

She had been writing to a prisoner
who k*lled his parents and his brother
and plotted her husband's m*rder
to be with the guy
she'd been writing to, in jail FFS.

IMAGINE THAT?
FINDING OUT YOUR FKN WIFE
ISN'T JUST WRITING TO A PRISONER
A GUY WHO K*LLED HIS FAMILY,
PLOTTING TO K*LL YOU
WITH HIS HELP FFS.

INSTEAD OF WHAT?
JUST GETTING A FKN DIVORCE!!!!!

OBVIOUSLY...
IF YOU'RE GOING AS FAR
AS WANTING THE GUY
YOU'RE MARRIED TO
DEAD...

YOU'RE NOT IN LOVE WITH HIM, 
AND NEVER WERE!!!!

SO IF YOU'RE NOT AND NEVER WERE...
LET HIM BE WITH SOMEONE
WHO COULD LOVE HIM. 

ACTUALLY LOVE HIM. Y'KNOW?
AND WOULD!

INSTEAD OF BEING A FKN...
WHATEVER YOU'D CALL THAT
BECAUSE B*TCH
ISN'T EVEN THE WORD.

THAT MAKES A B*TCH
LOOK LIKE AN ITCH...

So... Stuff like that...

I've seen so many cases of even
infidelity and stuff like that...

That's nothing compared
to those "fatal attraction" things...

It's something that I think about
from time to time. 

The cases I've seen of it...
Came across... Of it...

It's not going to SAP any HOPE
I *might* still have left...

But definitely gives me the
BETTER SAFE THAN SORRY
FEELING ABOUT
BEING WITH ANYONE. 

ESPECIALLY AFTER
GETTING PUNCHED IN THE HEAD
AND HAVING MY FAMILY HEIRLOOM
SMASHED FFS.

AND OTHER BS...

STUFF I HAVEN'T WRITTEN ON HERE.

*must be bad for me not to write about it* Right?
Even though I've been pretty much an OPEN BOOK
ABOUT VARIOUS THINGS...

Been pretty *candid* about a lot of stuff. 

Even so... Some stuff...
I've been keeping inside
and sometimes I feel like
even SCREAMING
WOULDN'T BE ENOUGH
TO LET IT OUT
SO WHY WOULD WRITING ABOUT IT
"CHANGE ANYTHING"?

Screaming... The PRESSURE OF IT...
THE WEIGHT OF IT...
THE FKN TORMENT OF IT...

Can you see why I need to feel
like I've accomplished something
JUST TO BE ABLE TO SLEEP?

OR ELSE MY MIND
WOULD BE ROLLING THAT OVER
AND OVER  AND OVER 
IN MY MIND
FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
AND WOULD THAT EVEN
BE WORTH IT FOR ME TO EVEN DO???

Or do I have other things to do?

Like... A lot of other things?
That I could be doing, 
and ought to be doing...

OTHER THAN DOING THAT?

When I was at the height
OF MY BROODING ETC
OVER THE LAST 6 YEARS OR SO...
ESPECIALLY THOSE 2 YEARS...

If you were reading my posts back then, 
you'll know what I'm referring to.

I was brooding so much
that I wrote about the same sh*t
over and over and over 
EVERY FKN DAY!!!!

FOR OVER A YEAR!!!

AND THAT WAS THE STATE OF MY MIND
I COULDN'T JUST FKN LET THAT SH*T GO.

BECAUSE I WAS SO P*SSED
THAT IT WAS SUCH FK BS...

LIKE... NO NEED FOR THAT SH*T!!!!

SO IF THERE'S NO NEED FOR IT....
WHY FKN DO IT???!!!
TO ME????!!!

It was because I was being too fkn stubborn. 
For one. 

That's what it mostly was.

I hadn't reached my:
GO FK YOURSELVES MODE.

AND IT TOOK WAY TOO MUCH
TO GET TO THAT POINT.

AND IF THEY DIDN'T WANT
THIS VERSION OF ME
THEY SHOULDN'T HAVE
GIVEN ME REASONS THAT

THEY CAN GO FK THEMSELVES, RIGHT?

Maybe I got to the point
THAT I'M TOO FKN OLD FOR THIS SH*T.

When you outgrow a lot of people, 
you outgrow THEIR SH*T TOO.

AND PEOPLE SEEM FKN SURPRISED.
WHEN I TELL THEM
TO GO FK THEMSELVES.

Like what do you expect me to do?
KISS YOUR @SS?

JUST so you're not a SH*T to me?
NO. 

I'D RATHER BE ALONE, LIVE ALONE,
EVEN STAY ALONE.

I DO NOT GAF ANYMORE.
AND NOTHING I EVER WANTED
OR THOUGHT THAT *MAYBE* I COULD
HAVE HAD ETC....

IS WORTH EVER HAVING
TO BE IN A PLACE
WHERE I'M NOT FKN HAPPY.

PHYSICALLY, MENTALLY, EMOTIONALLY, 
ETC.

Because although I've FKN LOATHED MYSELF
A LOT OF THE TIME...

I DON'T H@TE MYSELF
SO MUCH
THAT I'D PUT MYSELF
THROUGH ANY OF THAT SH*T
EVER AGAIN. 

NOT. FKN. WORTH. IT.
PERIOD.

All that time I "wasted"
WHEN I COULD HAVE BEEN DOING THINGS
FOR MY OWN BETTERMENT
(THAT I SHOULD HAVE BEEN DOING
REGARDLESS)
INSTEAD OF BROODING ON THE BS. 

Especially for as long as I did.
If you read it, you'd know EXACTLY
what I mean... 

Because you read me DOING IT.
And repeatedly doing it.

It was a cycle I was in 
where I kept hoping
@sshats
WOULD JUST STOP
BEING FKN @SSHATS....

And I shouldn't have to hope for that.

But not only that, THEY KNEW
EXACTLY WHAT THEY WERE DOING
BECAUSE THEY INTENTIONALLY DID IT
EVEN WHEN THEY SAID THEY FKN WOULDN'T.
EVEN WHEN THEY KNEW THEY FKN SHOULDN'T.

They can't make a fkn CHOICE
TO DO SOMETHING
AND SAY IT WAS A MISTAKE 
OR AN ACCIDENT.
A CHOICE IS A CHOICE.

BECAUSE THEY COULD HAVE CHOSEN NOT TO.
IF IT WAS SOMETHING THAT FKN MATTERED TO THEM
THEY FKN WOULDN'T
HAVE EVEN THOUGHT ABOUT IT.
THEY JUST FKN WOULDN'T. 

Like that guy who told me he found that pipe...
He could have sold it, IF HE WANTED TO.
BUT THE MONEY'S NOT WORTH IT.

Not only that, but he's not the kind of person
WHO WOULD DO THAT.

EVEN THOUGH THERE ARE SOME PEOPLE
WHO WOULD HAVE FKN SOLD IT.

AND NOT THOUGHT TWICE ABOUT IT, EITHER!

But it wasn't because he didn't want to be "known"
as the kind of person who would sell it...

It wasn't about that.

IT'S BECAUSE THAT GARBAGE IS GARBAGE.

And that's how I feel about
other things that are garbage.

THOSE THINGS ARE GARBAGE, TO ME.

And it was probably because someone saw a COP
and dropped their pipe
or were already FKD UP
ON SOMETHING
AND WASN'T PAYING ATTENTION
AND EITHER DROPPED IT
OR IT FELL, I DUNNO...

But one of my last "runs"
I was downtown, like... In the "core"
at night and I saw a dude...

STILL HAD HIS PIPE
IN HIS FKN HAND!!!!

AND HE WAS DOING THAT "NOD"
STANDING UP....

BUT HIS FACE WAS LIKE A FOOT AWAY
FROM THE FKN GROUND FFS.

LIKE ALMOST GOING TO FALL
RIGHT ON HIS FACE.

AND THAT IS WHAT CANADA IS TODAY...

AND PEOPLE CAN JUST WALK BY
AND IGNORE "THE ISSUE"
UNTIL IT AFFECTS THEM
IN SOME WAY OR ANOTHER...

PRETENDING LIKE IT'S NOT
EVEN HAPPENING AT ALL...

OR THEY CAN REALIZE
THAT *MAYBE*
SOMETHING NEEDS TO CHANGE?

But nothing'll change
until the people who need
to make changes WITH AND WITHIN
THEMSELVES
ACTUALLY MAKE THOSE CHANGES.

Someone was saying that there's probably like
20k drug addicts in this city.

Or more.

And a lot of them know each other
because they have THAT in common. 

Drug addicts don't seem to judge
other drug addicts, y' know?

I'm not a "hardcore" drug addict...
I smoke pot when I've got it, 
but when I fkn don't have any, I don't. 

I'm not "out there"
doing any "stupid sh*t"
to "afford" any "stupid sh*t."

EVEN BACK THEN, 
I HAD ENOUGH THOUGHT TO KNOW
THAT IF I DID ANYTHING "STUPID"
I'D BE CAUSING MORE SH*T FOR MYSELF
THAT I DIDN'T NEED TO BE CAUSING
FOR MYSELF. Y'KNOW?

SO WHY FKN DO IT?
JUST TO CAUSE SH*T FOR MYSELF?
THAT I DIDN'T NEED TO BE
CAUSING FOR MYSELF?

Does that make any sense, though?

WHY CAUSE SH*T FOR YOURSELF
THAT YOU DON'T NEED TO BE
CAUSING FOR YOURSELF?

And even when people literally
CHOOSE TO CAUSE SH*T FOR THEMSELVES
THINKING THEY ARE CAUSING SH*T
FOR SOMEONE ELSE...

CAUSING SH*T FOR ANYONE
IS CAUSING SH*T FOR YOURSELF.

BECAUSE IT COMES BACK
TO BITE YOU
SOMEHOW.

IT JUST DOES.

But my point was that even when they literally
CHOOSE to cause sh*t for themselves....

THEY TRY TO BLAME
EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING
OTHER THAN THEMSELVES.

And yeah, I look back on the sh*t
that I DID cause for myself
by being "involved"
where I never had to be etc.

OR AS LONG AS I WAS...
EVEN FOR THE REASONS I WAS...

"None of my business."

But not just that...

The things I wanted, back then, 
I wanted those things
FOR A REASON, RIGHT?

BUT NOT JUST ONE REASON, 
THERE WERE MANY REASONS...

AND NOW I HAVE MY REASONS
NOT TO WANT ANY OF THAT ANYMORE.

Not just because I feel so fkn far removed
from anything I thought I wanted, 
for the reasons I thought I wanted what I wanted...

But because NONE OF THE SH*T
I LITERALLY PUT MYSELF THROUGH
BY TRUSTING PEOPLE
WHO DIDN'T DESERVE MY TRUST ETC...

WAS EVER FKN WORTH ANYTHING.
DEFINITELY WASN'T WORTH MY TIME.

It was only worth as much
AS TEACHING ME SOME THINGS
THAT I HAD TO LEARN THE HARD WAY...

BUT OTHER THAN THAT, 
I FAIL TO SEE THE VALUE IN THAT.

If there is some, there is some.
Not saying there's none.

Just saying that I can't see it, yet.

It's kind of like this:

Just because I couldn't see the point in something
doesn't mean there wasn't any...

It only meant that I couldn't see it, yet.

"Just because you can't see the point
doesn't mean there isn't a point."

Just means you can't see it, yet.

And it just bugs me, sometimes...

Having to go out of my way to make a point
about something.

When the point I was making about it
shouldn't have to be
POINTED OUT.

AT ALL.
LET ALONE BY ME.

And people don't LIKE when I do it.
OR WHEN I'M RIGHT
OR WAS RIGHT ALL ALONG
AND HAD THEY JUST
STFU
AND LISTENED
THEY WOULD REALIZE

THAT HAD THEY NOT
PUT ME IN THE SPOT
I WAS IN TO EVEN POINT IT OUT!!!!!

THAT MAYBE I WOULDN'T
HAVE HAD TO.

BUT I DON'T REALLY HAVE TO.

I could just let them "figure it all out"
AND LET THEM THINK
THEY HAVE IT ALL FIGURED OUT
WHEN THEY REALLY FKN DON'T!!!!

But I'm not saying I have everything "figured out."

I just know ENOUGH to know
that I don't need to be causing sh*t for myself. 

And that others don't need to be
causing sh*t for themselves, 
yet they do. 
All the time.

IF IT'S BECAUSE THEY'VE DONE IT SO LONG
THAT THEY DON'T KNOW
HOW TO NOT DO IT....

I REALLY DON'T FKN KNOW...

BUT... IF IT IS BECAUSE OF THAT...
Would it be SAFE to say
that they could learn NOT TO?

FOR THEIR OWN SAKE?
AT LEAST?