What Assumptions Do

My mom called me today.
She told me that when I was a baby,
we'd gone to the food bank, together
and they gave her diapers for me.

I told my mom that I didn't need them
and wanted to give them back.

I probably didn't say it in those exact words.
Then, they sent me a thank you note in the mail lol.

It's been around for a long time.
Went there, with my mom, as a kid.

I think it was that I wanted another kid
to get the diapers.

Then I learned to use the toilet.

Funny stories like that.

Last night my throat was so sore!

I drank a lot of milk lol.
Because my throat was sore.

Tea feels nice on a sore throat, too.

The other day, one of the guys in the rec room
was saying that, once, when he ran out of cola
before he ran out of Jack Daniels...

He happened to have some apple juice...
He calls it "The Apple Jack."

I wouldn't know what it tastes like.
"A virgin Apple Jack, please." LOL.

An Apple Jack without the Jack.
Hold the Jack lol.

On the rocks lol.

I had a weird dream where
a son of my friend came to find me
and I had to contact my friend
to tell him his son was with me
so he wouldn't worry.

His sons are all older than my son. 
They're all adults now.

In my dream, he was a child.

That's why I had to contact my friend.

He came looking for me
because he felt safe with me.

I think about the letter my father wrote to me
(that my mother kept from me)
(and decided to give to me)
I've had it for years now.

But he wrote it after I told my mother
that I didn't want to see him anymore
because I knew she'd tell him for me.

In the letter, he wrote:
"It's me that's getting hurt."

HE HURT ME FIRST.

HE DIDN'T REALIZE THAT, I GUESS.
BECAUSE HE DID IT MORE THAN ONCE.

He left me waiting ALL DAY for him to come
pick me up for a visit with him. 

Did it more than once.

The worst one was that he told me
he was coming to pick me up
so we could go downtown to see the fireworks
on Canada Day.

When you're a kid, it's a big thing.
Because the other kids would rub it in
THAT THEY GOT TO GO
AND I DIDN'T.

And it really got to me
that he told me that he would, and didn't.

That it wasn't even the first time
that he let me down.

One time, we'd picked up a neighbor's mom
to give her "a ride, somewhere."

I thought nothing of it, 
but my father got out of the truck, with her
and said he'd be right back,
and was gone quite a while.

Leaving me waiting in the truck for him
to come back. 

Looking back on it, 
"a ride, somewhere."

If he was single,
and my mom didn't want to be with him...

BUT WHY DO IT
AND LEAVE ME WAITING, 
IN THE TRUCK FFS?

Anyway, I just felt
like he was always "distracted"
when it came to me, 

and LEAVING ME WAITING
ALL DAY, WHEN HE SAID
HE'D COME GET ME...

MORE THAN ONCE...

That's why I didn't want to see him.
Because it's disappointing
to keep getting disappointed.

When I hadn't had him in my life,
all my life.

And the guy who I thought was my father
was my brothers' father, not mine.

My mom told me "on the way 
to meet my REAL father."

Taking a 6 year old to DQ
where I'm to meet my "real father"
AND TELLING HER
ON THE WAY.

Couldn't have told me sooner?
Couldn't have met him, sooner?

Only started seeing him when I was 10!
Then, two years later...

What I told myself:
"He was sick, physically, 
and he didn't want it to just
progress...
Or live like that..."

That makes more sense to me
than just feeling sorry for himself.

His mother and brother both died of cancer.

His brother was the one who gave me my father's guitar.
For my 15th birthday.

Which I spent in the hospital. 
He brought it to the hospital for me.

I was so chuffed!
My father's guitar!
My own guitar!

He was the only one who'd talk to me.

My own grandparents told me
to stop calling them.

Cold, eh?

Won't let me get to know you... Eh?
Won't get to know me...
And that's OKAY.

Because where were they all my life?

And imagine having to go through an ex
JUST TO SEE YOUR KID
AND NOT GET TO SEE OR HEAR FROM THEM
FOR YEARS

BECAUSE THE EX IS BEING SPITEFUL
ABOUT THE BREAKUP
OR WHAT LEAD TO THE BREAKUP...

It doesn't just happen to fathers, 
it happens to mothers, too. 

AND PETTY PEOPLE "IN THE SYSTEM"
CAN USE THE SYSTEM
FOR THEIR OWN "PURPOSES"
AND RUIN SOMEONE'S REPUTATION
AND LIFE.

ALL BECAUSE THEY CAN.

AND WHAT ARE YOU TO DO ABOUT IT?
WHO'S MORE 'CREDIBLE'?

ME OR THEM?

That sh*t....

If you've ever been in "the system..."
They've got a "file" on you.

Where they make little notes to each other.
About you.

So anyone with access to it
CAN KNOW ALL ABOUT YOU.

And if you have a 'file'
they can also say WHATEVER TF THEY WANT."

AND AS LONG AS IT'S IN THERE,
YOUR WORD AGAINST THEIR WORD.

I became a "ward" of the CAS 
when I was 13.

Before that I was living with a friend.
For around a year.

Anyway, CAS got "involved"
at some point...

Well, they had already been "involved" before.

The guy who I "thought was my father but wasn't"
had spanked me so hard that he left a handprint on my butt.
And when the police showed up, 
they took a picture of it.

I had "proof" that he abused me.

I got old enough that I wanted to press charges
for a lot of the sh*t he'd done to me.

And the police: "Do you have any proof
that he did these things to you?"

Then:

"No? Then we can't help you."

You know what else is disgusting?
THE POLICE TOLD ME
THAT THEY CAN'T TAKE A STATEMENT
FROM SOMEONE WHO HAS DEMENTIA.

LIKE SAYING SOMEONE
WITH DEMENTIA
THAT HASN'T PROGRESSED...
DOESN'T HAVE THE SAME RIGHTS
AS PEOPLE WHO DON'T.

A RIGHT TO MAKE A STATEMENT.
TO THE POLICE EVEN FFS.

The police in this city, for the most part
have been ARROGANT AND DISMISSIVE.

"Were you drunk last night?" 
"EXCUSE ME?!"

Because they'd written in their notes
THAT THEY SUSPECTED THAT I WAS
"JUST DRUNK"

AND NOT LISTENED
TO A DAMN THING I FKN SAID.

Because "they have to hear from
the person they "can't" take a statement from FFS
BEFORE THEY CAN
"DO SOMETHING."

That's the kind of sh*t that p*sses me off.

And it'd probably p*ss anyone off.

Because we're supposed to be able
TO TRUST THEM WITH OUR LIVES, RIGHT?

IF I HAVE TO RELY ON YOU
AND TRUST YOU
TO SAVE MY LIFE
AND YOU DON'T EVEN LISTEN TO ME

"BECAUSE I WAS PROBABLY JUST DRUNK."

WHAT FKN GOOD ARE YOU????!!!!

That's what p*sses me off.

Not JUST that they wouldn't listen.
It was why they wouldn't. 

AND I'VE BEEN SOBER
FOR FKN 11 YEARS.

TELL ME IF I WAS "JUST DRUNK" FFS.

BUT THEY ARGUED WITH ME
AND TOLD ME THEY WEREN'T THERE
TO ARGUE WITH ME FFS.

THEN WTF DID YOU COME HERE?
TO LISTEN?
ABOUT WHY I EVEN WANT TO 
TALK TO YOU?
TELL YOU?

THAT SHOULD BE TAKEN VERY SERIOUSLY.
But I was "just drunk." 

These are the things that p*ss me off.
When it comes to the police in this city.

Did you know that the chief of police
resigned after the trucker rally?

ASK YOURSELF WHY.

Were the protesters all "just drunk" too?
IS THAT WHY BANK ACCOUNT
GOT FROZEN?
WHICH NOBODY HAS A RIGHT TO DO.

GO DO THAT TO T*RR*R*STS!!!! FFS
BUT THEY DON'T
BECAUSE THEY'D BE IN SERIOUS SH*T.

Because: WHO WOULDN'T LIKE THAT?
THE T*RR*RISTS.
THAT'S WHO
AND THAT'S WHY.

BUT A CANADIAN
STANDING UP FOR CANADIAN RIGHTS.

AND THEIR RIGHT TO PROTEST...

If pro palestine protesters
WHO CALLED DEATH TO US ALL ETC
DON'T GET THEIR ACCOUNTS FROZEN....

WHAT MESSAGE DOES THAT SEND?

I'm not calling pro palestine t*rr*rists btw.

I'M CALLING EXTREMISTS
T*RR*R*STS.

WHO THREATEN DEATH
ON ENTIRE COUNTRIES
AND THE ONE THEY ARE "PROTESTING" IN.

THAT EVEN GIVES THEM THE RIGHT
TO PROTEST.

That sh*t also p*sses me off.
BUT THE CANADIANS 
STANDING UP FOR CANADIAN RIGHTS....

THOUGHT WE, AS CANADIANS
HAD THE RIGHT TO PROTEST, TOO.

SO WHY DO THAT SH*T TO US?

And how the POLICE "REACT" TO THAT.

EVEN THREATENING THE PROTESTERS ANIMALS FFS.

All the trucker rally was
WAS A WAKE UP CALL
THAT WE'RE NOT STANDING FOR BS
LIKE "MANDATES"
THAT FK WITH OUR LIVELIHOOD.

AND WHAT DID JT DO?
WENT INTO HIDING.

AND THE TRUCKERS "HAD TO GO"
SO HE COULD COME OUT OF HIDING

BECAUSE HE COULDN'T STAY 
IN HIDING FOREVER

AND THE RESIDENTS 
THAT LIVE DOWNTOWN...

HONKING OF TRUCKS ETC
WAS PRETTY DISRUPTIVE.

WHICH IT WAS INTENDED TO BE.

BUT IT GOT "OUT OF POLICE CONTROL"
BECAUSE THE POLICE
WERE "SUPPOSED TO"
"MAKE" THEM LEAVE.

WHAT DID THE POLICE DO
WITH THE PRO PALESTINE PROTESTS?
ANYTHING?
EVEN AFTER DEATH THREATS?
WITH THEM ALL CHEERING ABOUT IT?
IN OUR COUNTRY?

EVEN FOR OUR COUNTRY?

That's the difference
AND YOU HAVE TO ASK WHY
THERE EVEN IS A DIFFERENCE.

Because they'd probably cry racism. 
Just like the ones who attacked my mom
and gave her a concussion...

And what did the police do?

"You deserved it. You were being RACIST."
"EXCUSE ME?! I'M WHAT?!"

AND THEY WEREN'T PRO PALESTINE ANYTHING.
THEY WERE FROM A COUNTRY
THAT "SETTLES THINGS"
WITH VIOLENCE.

**YOU'RE IN A COUNTRY
THAT DOESN'T FK HAVE TO.***

***NOT BACK IN WHEREVER TF YOU'RE FROM****

****SO ACT LIKE IT OR GO BACK****

And is THAT racist to say?
Is it even derogatory
besides "wherever tf you're from"
because I don't care
where you're from
BUT YOU'RE IN CANADA NOW.

That's how I feel about it.
ACT LIKE YOU'RE IN CANADA
IF YOU WANT TO BE IN CANADA.

The thing is:
Canadians have a reputation 
for being nice.

YES, WE CAN BE.

BUT OFTEN, POLITE
GETS MISTAKEN FOR NICE.

WE'RE GENERALLY POLITE
THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.

AND THEY SHOULD ACT LIKE IT
OR JUST GO BACK.

WHY STAY HERE
IF YOU'RE GOING TO ACT
LIKE YOU'RE NOT?

WHY WOULD WE WANT YOU HERE
IF YOU'RE GOING TO ACT LIKE YOU'RE NOT?

What bothers me, too:
Europeans, when they came to Canada
(Before it became Canada)
thought that "natives"
were uncivilized
and "had to be" civilized

WHEN THEY WERE ALREADY 
MORE CIVILIZED
THAT THE EUROPEANS!!!!!

Did you see any "natives"
go to Europe?

To do what the Europeans
did to the "natives"?

No? Then wtf was the problem
"supposed to have been"?

It was with the Europeans
thinking they could just
do whatever tf they wanted to.

AND THE POLITICIANS...
"JUST CANCEL DISNEY+"

DA FUQ?

Do they take into account
who can even afford it
TO BE ABLE TO CANCEL IT?!

THOSE things p*ss me off.

AND HALF-EATEN FOOD
SITTING ON TOP OF THE GARBAGE CAN
FOR SOMEONE HOMELESS TO EAT.

AND NOT BEING ABLE TO WALK DOWN THE STREET
WITHOUT BEING ASKED FOR DRUGS
OR IF I WANT TO BUY ANY.

WITH PEOPLE WITH MORE MONEY
THAN I'VE GOT
ASKING ME FOR MONEY
LIKE I HAVE ANY TO GIVE.

Okay, good to get that out of my system...

But what I was talking about was "the system"
And how I got into it.

My mother signed her parental rights
when it came to me
away to them.

She told me this, years later.
Admitted to it.

I don't know why.

It's one thing to do it,
another to talk about it
like it wasn't a big deal.

So, anyway...

That's how that happened.
I never signed anything with CAS
when it came to my son. 

Because I knew what would happen if I did.

And that's part of why they came at me
the way they did.

Because they couldn't violate my rights, 
and ended up doing it anyway
because I'm supposedly a drug addict
and "just drunk."

AND THEY ARE ALLOWED
TO SAY AND DO WHATEVER THEY WANT.
BECAUSE THEY HAVE THE AUTHORITY
TO FKN DO IT.

It's called parental alienation. 
Where the parent gets alienated from 
their own kid

and during that time
they have "no say" in anything
don't even know how the kid is doing, 
THEIR KID.

BUT ZERO SAY
WHEN THEY SIGN
THEIR PARENTAL RIGHTS AWAY
WHICH I NEVER DID.

SO THEY HAD TO GO
BEHIND MY BACK.

TELL ME WHY THAT'D P*SS ANYONE OFF.

ONE THING TO RUIN A REPUTATION...
BUT TO ACT LIKE THE PARENT
SIGNED AWAY THEIR KID
WHEN THEY NEVER DID!!!!

BUT DID I HAVE ANY SAY
IN ANYTHING?

IN WHETHER OR NOT
I WAS GOING "INTO THE SYSTEM"
WHETHER OR NOT
MY SON WOULD STAY WITH ME?

So I know what it's like to be away from your child.
And I was the same age when I had my son
as my father was when I was born. 

When you're that age, 
there's still a lot to learn.

Did I make sh*tty choices, too?
Yes, I did.

But they treated me like a "cracker or a tweaker"
who was "just drunk."

AND KEPT TREATING ME LIKE THAT.

TO THE POINT MY OWN SON
HATED ME. OKAY?

Being p*ssed at my father for constantly
disappointing me...

IS THE SAME WAY MY SON FELT.

AM I SUPPOSED TO FEEL "SORRY"
FOR MYSELF BECAUSE I MADE
THE SH*TTY CHOICES I MADE?

OR WRECK MYSELF 
BASED ON THE CHOICES
OTHERS MADE "FOR ME"
THAT I SHOULD HAVE HAD A SAY IN.
YET DIDN'T GET IT?

Because that's something that could...
Really DESTROY a person, right?

BUT SINCE YOU COULD DO THAT...
HAD THE "POWER" TO DO THAT
MAY AS WELL?

After all, not YOUR life. Mine, though.

Nope, no feeling "sorry" for myself
about the sh*tty choices I made.

Those were mine to make.

BUT THE CHOICES THAT WEREN'T?

AM I SUPPOSED TO FEEL "SORRY" FOR THOSE?

THEY CAN'T GIVE BACK WHAT THEY TOOK.

ANYONE WHO WENT THROUGH THAT,
I KNOW HOW IT FEELS.

AND THEN TO GET TREATED WHATEVER WAY
FOR THE RUINED REPUTATION....

But that was the LEAST of it.

But I can understand how my father felt
when I didn't want to see him. 

Because I went through my son not wanting to see me.

BUT I DISAPPOINTED HIM
AND DID THE RUINED REPUTATION
HELP ANY?

And if I had done this to my father
and my son did it to me, 

doesn't it make you feel some type of way?

BUT CAS WENT AFTER THE WRONG PARENT.

BECAUSE HAD THEY NOT, 

MY SON WOULDN'T HAVE GONE THROUGH
WHAT HE WENT THROUGH.

AND THOUGHT I DIDN'T CARE.

OR WHATEVER MY "BAD REPUTATION"
IMPLIED...

But so what? 

I'm just "supposed to"
JUST GO ALONG WITH WHATEVER
EVERYONE ELSE DECIDES?

WHEN IT COMES TO ME?
INCLUDING MY REPUTATION, TOO, RIGHT?

"JUST DRUNK"

"WERE YOU DRINKING LAST NIGHT?!!"

"EXCUSE ME???!!!"

BUT IF YOU "REACT" TO THAT
THAT MEANS THEY'RE "RIGHT," RIGHT?

REACTING TO WHAT, THOUGH?

YOU, TRYING TO RUIN MY LIFE?
YEAH. SO WOULD YOU.

But if you show any "anger"
you're a "danger"

TO YOUR OWN CHILD FFS.

WHICH IS JUST AN EXCUSE
TO TRY TO TAKE THEM.

BECAUSE THEY FKN CAN.
WITH YOU NOT HAVING ANY SAY
ABOUT IT.

WHEN YOU HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING
AND NO PROOF THAT I DID.

BECAUSE THERE WASN'T ANY.

BUT YET, "JUST DRUNK."

And tell me HOW would THEY have reacted?
IF THE SAME WAS DONE TO THEM?
WITHOUT ANY SAY IN THE MATTER?

HOLDING THEIR "POWER" OVER YOUR HEAD.
BECAUSE THEY KNOW THAT
YOU DON'T HAVE ANY.

"JUST. DRUNK."

BUT WAS I DRUNK?
HAD I EVEN ONE DRINK?
NO? WHY IS THAT?
BECAUSE I QUIT 11 YEARS AGO FFS.

BUT ASSUME ALL THE FK YOU WANT
AND WRITE ABOUT IT
IN YOUR LITTLE POLICE REPORT
SO IT CAN SIT IN SOME FILE
ALL ABOUT ME

AND HOW I'M "JUST DRUNK."

SO EVERYONE WITH ACCESS TO IT
CAN READ IT AND ASSUME IT, TOO.
JUST LIKE YOU.

And ask me why I'd be p*ssed off...

And if I was "psychotic"
and such a "danger"

I WOULD HAVE POPPED OFF
LONG BEFORE NOW.

CORRECT?

But be "angry"
about your rights being
VIOLATED
AS THOUGH YOU DON'T HAVE ANY....

AND THAT'S ENOUGH
FOR THEM TO "GO ON."

AND ASSUME WHATEVER THEY ASSUME.
ABOUT YOU.

AND AS LONG AS THEY ASSUME IT
AND SAY IT, 
IT HAS TO BE "TRUE."

AND ANYTHING YOU SAY
IN YOUR OWN DEFENSE
HAS TO BE A "LIE."

Okay, so there HAVE been parents
who HAVE popped off.

And maybe it's hard for them TO TELL
WHICH ONES WILL
AND WHICH ONES WOULDN'T.

But wouldn't it have been "cool"
had they believed me
WHEN I SAID I WOULDN'T?

AND LOOKING IN THE CUPBOARDS TO SEE
IF I HAVE FOOD FOR MY KID FFS.

SURE, GO LOOK.

BE MY GUEST, IN MY HOUSE. FFS.

And you want to know how it even all started...

My son's school accusing me of things I wasn't doing.

My son urinated on himself
because he was too afraid 
TO ASK TO USE THE WASHROOM
AT SCHOOL

(HE WAS VERY YOUNG).

AND EVEN WHEN HE WAS
"ALLOWED TO GO"
HE GOT PUSHED INTO THE URINALS.
AT SCHOOL.

AND I DIDN'T KNOW HOW BAD
IT HAD ACTUALLY BEEN
BUT MY SON WOULD TELL ME
SOME THINGS
THAT SHOULDN'T HAVE HAPPENED TO HIM
WHEN HE WAS AT SCHOOL
WHEN HE WAS WITH HIS "FATHER"

WHICH WOULDN'T HAVE HAPPENED
HAD HE BEEN WITH ME.

AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW
THAT HE WAS DOING IT
BECAUSE I ASSUMED
THAT HE'D BE ALLOWED TO USE
THE TOILET WHEN HE NEEDED TO
AND THAT THE BS
THAT WAS THE ISSUE
WOULDN'T BE AN ISSUE
BECAUSE IT NEVER SHOULD HAVE BEEN 
AN ISSUE.

SO THEY WERE TRYING TO MAKE ME
THE SCAPEGOAT

WHICH THEY DID.

BECAUSE IT STARTED WITH HIS TEACHER.

BUT THE "ISSUE" WAS I WAS "JUST DRUNK."

When I worked the night shift, at the college, 
I had a few beers when I got home from work, 
and my son would be at school
while I slept. 

While I slept and his father was at work
and they both slept when I was at work.

But they tried to make it seem
like I was "bullying" them
when it was actually them doing it to me
BECAUSE I WANTED THEM TO DO 
THEIR JOB.
WHICH WAS TO ENSURE THAT SH*T
DOESN'T HAPPEN FFS.

AND TO PUT ALL THE BLAME ON ME
Has been something I've seethed about, for years.

But you TRY EXPLAINING
ANY OF THAT TO ANYONE.

I wasn't sleeping during the day
BECAUSE I WAS "JUST DRUNK"
I HAD BEEN WORKING ALL FKN NIGHT.

BUT SO LONG AS I WAS DOING MY JOB, 
THEY COULD HAVE DONE THEIRS.

And telling someone that they aren't doing their job
P*SSES PEOPLE OFF.

EVEN IF THEY AREN'T FKN DOING IT!!!

WHICH IS WHAT THEY KNOW
THAT I'M UPSET ABOUT

AND WHAT THEY KNOW
THEY'D BE UPSET ABOUT.

BUT HAVE I "POPPED OFF"?
LIKE THEY THOUGHT I "MIGHT"?

HAVE I EVER GOT:
"SORRY FOR ASSUMING THAT ABOUT YOU."

FROM ANYONE WHO EVER
ASSUMED ANYTHING
ABOUT ME

THAT WAS THE FURTHEST THING
FROM THE TRUTH?

Nope. Why would I?
They were "right."

Regardless of what's true. 

AND I'VE HAD "REASONS"
I "COULD HAVE" POPPED OFF
AND STILL WHAT?

DIDN'T!!!!

Had I thought about popping off
during that initial time? YES.

BUT DID I?

I "COULD HAVE" THOUGH, RIGHT.

YES, I "COULD HAVE."

DOES THAT MEAN I "WOULD HAVE"?
DOES IT MEAN THAT I DID?

IT MEANS I "COULD HAVE."

Any PARENT, WHEN IT COMES TO THEIR KID
WOULD BE P*SSED THEIR KID
WAS BEING TREATED LIKE THAT AT SCHOOL. 

Why? Because he's the only kid in kindergarten
who can write his own name?

Why? Because he knows how to calculate
the circumference of a circle
in the second grade?

Why? Because he can't prove
he's doing his own work
and gets accused of using Chatgpt?

I'm proud of him for sticking with his academics.
Despite us both getting treated abysmally. 

Wish we hadn't been, 
but wishing doesn't make it so.

Or none of this would have ever happened.
And much more wouldn't have happened
as a result of it.

But... My point was that I know how my father felt, 
but had he been in my life
would the things that happened to me
still had happened?

Or would I have been with him?

What would that have been like, for me?
For us both?

At the same time, I questioned
because my mother signed her rights away to me.
I never had to keep in touch with her.

I could have gone my way
away from everyone.

And I think a big part of why
I didn't was for my grandmother's sake.

I didn't want to break it off with her.
And it would have hurt her the MOST if I had.

She was the one who took care of me.
BECAUSE SHE LOVED ME.

My son used to think my mother was his Aunt.
I never told him that she was.

I had to explain to him
that my grandmother was my grandmother, 
not his grandmother.

And that my mother's his grandmother.

Anyway, the point was that I could have
broken things off with my mother
after all, she signed her rights away.

And if my son thought I had done the same, 
why would he want contact with me?

EVEN. THOUGH. I. DIDN'T.

And that's what it's been like.
PEOPLE BLAMING ME
FOR NOT DOING THEIR JOB.

IF I WAS GOING TO DO THEIR JOB, 
I'D DO IT.

BECAUSE DOING WHAT THEY DID
AND WHAT THEY DIDN'T DO...

HAD CONSEQUENCES
FOR ME, NOT THEM.

And yet I still didn't pop off.
I've been waiting, though.

Because when my son realizes
some things, I'll be here.

Wish he would, 
and if it were up to me, he would have
a very long time ago.

BUT HAD THINGS BEEN DIFFERENT
THEN
THINGS WOULD BE DIFFERENT
NOW.

Someone told me that.

It's true, but it doesn't
make anything different.

If you'd be seething, 
well, that's how I've felt
for a REALLY long time.

But drinking wasn't going to make it different
either.

Popping off wasn't going to make it different
either.

THEY'D JUST SAY THEY WERE RIGHT
TO DO WHAT THEY DID.

THEY'D USE THAT THE WAY THEY USE
"JUST DRUNK."

Sometimes I really wonder 
if anything'll be made right for me FFS.

Not that I'd pop off about it
nor do I want anyone to pop off on my behalf.

It doesn't make anything different.

It doesn't fix a ruined reputation. 
It doesn't fix any damage done.

Or somehow "restores" what was "lost"
moe like, "taken."

JUST BECAUSE I WAS "JUST DRUNK."

DO YOU SEE WHY I QUIT DRINKING?
SO THEY COULDN'T SAY
I WAS "JUST DRUNK."
YET THEY STILL TRY TO.

ISN'T THAT INSULTING?