At The New Place

Well, I'm in the new place, now. The day I moved in, I was told

that someone jumped from the 14th floor about a month prior. 

That brains were all over and broken bones, the whole 9 yards.

For whatever reason, I asked if there was anyone outside, near where he landed...
A couple of people were just coming back inside the building.

When I was being told about it, we were mere feet from
where the guy landed. 

Before I signed the lease, I was told that 50 people got evicted in a 

massive "cean up." People who were getting the cops called on them etc.

Was the guy about to be evicted? This place, hopefully temporary, is like a step away

from homelessness. 

The lady was telling me that she's not putting anyone from the shelters in this building.

Because the drugs are "out of hand." Being downtown, I see it, everywhere.

I'm asked for "spare change" like 7 times a day. 

And I'm pretty sure that they "make" more money, daily, 

than I even have to help myself or anyone else with. 

I borrowed $200 from my friend. For moving and he barely could afford to loan it.

Without his help, I would have been pretty well screwed. 

The building I'm in... It reminds me of a huge group home/shelter. 

Like I say, it's a step above homelessness.

A lot has changed since I've been out there... Late 90s... 

The drugs are a hella lot worse than they've ever been. 

More drug overdoses, I know someone whose daughter overdosed last year.

She was the same age as my son. 

More drug-related crime, too. 

I mostly keep to myself, anyway. After everything I've "dealt with"

over the last 10 years...

I DON'T WANT TO BE OR GET INVOLVED WITH ANYONE, PERIOD.

Keeping to myself ensures LESS BS.

I don't have the internet at my new place, yet. 

So I go to the library to use the wi-fi there.

And just been watching stuff I downloaded to the computer years ago LOL.

Been attempting to organize my chaos, too. I don't have the room to keep

what I brought over here since this place is smaller than the place I moved from. 

Which doesn't bother me, at all. 

I'd rather have this place than to be homeless, again. 

But, like I said, I am hoping that this place will just be a temporary place...

I have some ideas for the future. Some plans that I need to plan out, better.

It's not the plans that'll get you anywhere, it's your ability

to put those plans into action. 

One of my plans is to start a "garden" on my balcony.
I've been "geminating" some seeds.

They started to "crack" open. But still too cold to put them outside. 

I ran into a lady in the gardening section of a store I went to, to get some seeds.

She explained to me that certain plants don't do well in pots because the cold air

comes up from the bottom and kills the roots.

If she hadn't told me, I wouldn't have known that.

Some of the seeds I got, that I can't grow in pots, I want to "secretly" plant outside the building.

I kinda feel bad that the guy who jumped, did what he did, but at the same time it was a choice.

He didn't have to do it.

Probably would rather die than be homeless. 

Being homeless sucks. People looking down on ya, treating you

like trash because of the "stigma"
and assuming that all homeless people
are homeless because of addiction issues.

Sure, when I was homeless, I did have addiction issues, but I stayed away

from the "hard drugs." I saw "firsthand" what it was doing to people. 

The friends I had, out there, are likely all dead.
You live a hard life and you'll probably have a shorter life. 

I had reasons not to go down that road. I also had to give myself reasons.

People who don't give themselves reasons will use not having any reasons to

live a "clean" life to keep themselves stuck where they are.

It's hard enough getting OFF the streets, 

but to be treated with DIGNITY isn't as easy as it should be.  

THEY WOULD WANT TO BE TREATED
WITH DIGNITY, THEMSELVES.

WHO WOULDN'T?

AND YET THEY LOOK DOWN ON THEM. 

I know what it's like to be "stigmatized."

Been "stigmatized" pretty much all my life.

Whether it was because of homelessness, being an alcoholic, 

being a "young" mother, having disabilities, having mental "illness"

or whatever tf else.

But the "divide" between homeless people and people who aren't homeless

(who had advantages that others haven't).

At the same time, there are "rags to riches" stories out there.

"Why should I listen to you? Where's your success story?"

UNKNOWINGLY A PART OF IT.

So what if it takes me longer than most?

When I told someone my age, he asked me

"Why aren't you married and have a house and career?"

Part of it is that I'M NOT LOOKING TO GET MARRIED. 

IF IT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN, IT WOULD HAVE.

THANKFULLY, I'M NOT "WITH" ANYONE. 

I WAS ENGAGED, TWICE.

JUST BECAUSE I'M IN MY 40S

DOESN'T MEAN I "HAVE TO BE" MARRIED ETC.

Besides, it didn't "work out" that way, for me.

I'm okay with that. More than okay with that. 

A guy I met, who lives in the building, he told me that he thinks I'm "hot"

and asked me if I have a boyfriend. 

Why ask me that? Why couldn't he just see me as a neighbor?

That's what bothers me. I'm just a person who happens to be a female.

Should I tell people I'm a lesbian so they back off? LOL.

I'm not, but the guys would leave me alone if they thought that LOL.

The guy is a few months younger than my MOTHER. I used to think

that older guys were more mature than guys my own age, and learned 

that it's not always the case.

I've been proven WRONG more than once.

One guy, his daughter was the same age as my mother ffs. I didn't date him. 

He wanted to date me. When he made that known, it got weird and I broke contact.

Why is it the older guys?

Maybe they see I have values or something. 

I don't see anything "attractive" about myself. 

Someone once told me that I have "classic features."

I'm not like a lot of girls who wear makeup and do their 

"nails" or whatever tf I'm "supposed to be like" as a female.

I can't be bothered with any of that crap.

Who needs makeup when they don't go out anywhere? Besides that, 

I feel like a lot of things are a WASTE OF MONEY.

I'd rather be practical AND USE MONEY FOR PRACTICAL THINGS.

Makeup and that junk isn't practical, to me.

Some girls can't seem to leave the house without it.

Putting chemicals on your skin does stuff to your skin.

Kind of like how bras weaken breasts.

Because the boobs are "supported" by the bra, they lose their ability

to support themselves. 

Besides that, gravity is a B*TCH.

I remember wanting a "training bra" before I actually had boobs LOL.

Because the first bra is a big thing LOL.

When boobs start growing, they fkn hurt. A lot.

In the third grade... I started wearing tights or shorts under my skirts

if I even wore a skirt because at least a couple of guys would try to look up my skirt.

I kicked one of them in the balls. Had to go to the principal's office.

And I felt bad about it, but he should have just left me tf alone. Y'know?

Being a female comes with "issues" like that. Unfortunately.

Why would I want to be "s*xualized" like that?

Sure, it can be "flattering" sometimes, but it's also creepy af.

I'd like to be looked at as A PERSON. That's it.

With no "hidden agendas" or anything like that.

BECAUSE I DON'T OWE THAT TO ANYONE.

NOBODY OWES THAT TO ME, EITHER.

Going there, when I haven't shown any "interest" in that regard...

IS PRETTY SELFISH. 

Like that guy who wanted to marry me last year.

JUST BECAUSE HE WANTED TO "CLAIM" ME

DOESN'T MEAN HE GETS TO.

IT DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY.

BECAUSE IT'S SUPPOSED TO MATTER WHAT I WANT, TOO. 

AND WHAT I FKN DON'T.

BUGS ME THAT THEY DON'T WANT
TO TAKE THAT INTO CONSIDERATION.

THAT'S HOW INCONSIDERATE AND SELFISH THAT IS.

Like my "friend" who told his buddy that he and I "smashed"

when we didn't. Even if we did, we didn't, but even if we did, 

HOW IS THAT ANYONE'S BUSINESS?

And he wanted an "arrangement" without considering

THAT IF I WANTED THAT, I WOULD HAVE BROUGHT IT UP.

AND THAT NOTHING HAPPENED
BECAUSE I DON'T WANT THAT, WITH HIM. 

CERTAIN THINGS REALLY TURN ME TF OFF. 

Like things that should go WITHOUT SAYING.

I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO TELL ANYONE

TO KEEP MY BUSINESS PRIVATE, ETC.

He makes the excuse that he doesn't know anyone's birthdays

as an excuse not to remember mine. He did that to the girl

he was dating... 

And to have any "arrangement" after they broke up would be like

I was "waiting in the wings" the whole time
WHICH I WASN'T AND AM NOT.

WHY WOULD I WAIT IN THE WINGS
FOR SOMEONE WHO TURNS ME OFF?

WE JUST MOSTLY CHILLED
AND SMOKED AND DRANK TOGETHER.

AS FRIENDS. 

I have male friends because 

1) there's no "competition" BS...

And females can often get PETTY AF. 

2) GUYS DON'T TRY TO "STEAL" MY BOYFRIEND.

3) Pretty sure my guy friends don't have ANY jealousy or any of that. 

We can just talk and hang out. 

It's just that when they get into a relationship while we are still friends

I have to "tread carefully" because of the history of the friendship pre-existed

before the relationship.

And often, the girlfriend thinks I'm waiting in the wings or whatever.

WHEN I HAVE ZERO INTEREST IN DATING THE DUDE.

MOST OF THE TIME, I'M NOT EVEN THEIR "TYPE."

Because they seem to be attracted to "normal" girls

who wear makeup etc.

They aren't attracted to "tom boys" like me. 

Which is more than okay. 

It's not like I'm hanging in there, waiting for them to break up etc.

I want my friends to be happy. With saying that, I'd rather them be with

someone who is a good "fit" for them than someone who isn't.

AND NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES I TELL OR HAVE TOLD THEM

IT'S STILL THEIR CHOICE, IN THE END.

JUST LIKE IT WAS MY CHOICE TO BE INVOLVED WITH

WHO I WAS INVOLVED WITH.

BECAUSE I NEVER HAD TO BE INVOLVED WITH ANYONE.

STILL DON'T HAVE TO BE. 

BUT I DON'T WANT SOMEONE
TRY TO MAKE THAT CHOICE FOR ME.

JUST BECAUSE THEY WANT TO HAVE
WHATEVER THEY CONJURED IN THEIR MIND

DOESN'T MEAN I WANT WHAT THEY WANT.

IF I was "looking" for someone/something, I'd be "looking" for specifics.

BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO WASTE ANY MORE OF MY TIME.

It would have to be more than an "arrangement."

And anyone who wanted an "arrangement" disqualified themselves.

Because fk that sideways with a surfboard.

It's like saying "you're good enough for THAT
and only because I'm being selfish."

I'M MORE THAN A P*SSY AND A PAIR OF T*TS.

MAYBE I WANT TO BE SEEN AS MORE THAN THAT.

BUT WHO EVEN KNOWS ME WELL ENOUGH?

Past their assumptions about me?

THAT is why I'm single.

Because I could "hook up" if I wanted to.

Plenty of guys who'd screw anything that would 

open their legs for them.

IF I WANTED THAT, I COULD HAVE THAT.

BUT I DON'T.

I can't even have DEEP conversations with most of the people I know.

They can't seem to look past surface-level BS to even look or THINK deeper than they do.

So what is the point? Of going "there" with people who don't seem to have

the capacity for that?

Most of the people I know just fkn can't. 

I've had to accept that and stick to myself.

It sucks because things would be easier if they could. 

BECAUSE THEY WOULD LISTEN TO UNDERSTAND.

WHAT I'M SAYING AND WHY I EVEN SAID IT.

IT SHOULDN'T BE THAT HARD TO UNDERSTAND. Y'KNOW?

Whether my intellect "makes" them "feel stupid" or whatever, 

(I'm not the smartest out there btw) 

But to try to make me "seem" stupid 

IS STUPIDITY DOING WHAT IT DOES BEST.

It's not even that I'm trying to "immaculate" anyone.

They can do that without me LOL. To themselves.

It's that there are REASONS I POINT THINGS OUT.

THERE ARE REASONS THAT WHAT NEEDS TO BE ADDRESSED

NEEDS TO BE ADDRESSED.

THEY JUST DON'T LIKE IT

WHEN THEY FORCE ME TO DO IT.

Which they don't have to fkn do, 

but they don't seem to realize that.

Until I tell them to fk off. 

And by that time, I'm already well beyond

OVER THEM AND THEIR BS.

WHY STICK AROUND FOR MORE OF THAT?

TO WASTE MORE TIME?

TO WASTE MY RESOURCES

THAT I NEVER HAD TO SHARE WITH THEM?

FOR THEM TO REFUSE TO TAKE ANY

ACCOUNTABILITY FOR THEIR BS?

FOR THEM TO BLAME THEIR BS ON ME?

They are to blame for their own BS.

Just like I'm to blame for mine.

I don't like being a B*TCH

WHO SHOVES THEIR BS IN THEIR FACES.

BECAUSE I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO BE ONE

OR HAVE TO DO THAT, AT ALL.

BUT IF I'M NOT AND IF I DON'T

THEY'D JUST WALK ALL OVER ME

LIKE THEY SEEM TO THINK THEY JUST CAN.

FOR A BILLION MORE CHANCES 

TO JUST NOT BE ABOUT THAT BS?

THAT'S ALL THEY HAD TO DO!

JUST NOT BE ABOUT THAT BS.

IS THAT ASKING FOR TOO MUCH?

BECAUSE, TO ME, 

THAT SHOULD BE THE BARE MINIMUM. 

AND I'M NOT SETTLING FOR LESS. EVER AGAIN.

WHY SHOULD I? WHY SHOULD YOU?

IT'S NOT "FUN" OR "DESIREABLE."

IT DEFINITELY DOESN'T "TURN ME ON."

DOESN'T MAKE ME "CREAM MY JEANS" LOL.

OR MY "PANTIES" lolololol.

Doesn't do anything FOR or TO me

except turns me tf OFF.

And it's not like my "standards" are too high.

But I do have "standards."

Because why shouldn't I?

Why shouldn't I NOT WANT TO WASTE MY TIME?

WHY SHOULDN'T YOU?

Why should I even have to ask that?

Why should I have to point things out

THAT SHOULD GO WITHOUT SAYING?

EVEN ONCE, LET ALONE OVER AND OVER

TO PEOPLE WHO REFUSE TO LISTEN?

TO WASTE MY TIME? THERE'S NO POINT IN IT.

They can go back to their BS and live in it.

Even wallow in the misery they created.

When I used to be on dating sites, I'd

come across profiles where guys would write

that they aren't into "drama" 

but it was usually those guys

who create the "drama."

BECAUSE IT SHOULD GO WITHOUT SAYING.

BUT IT SEEMS THAT SOME PEOPLE ARE

ACTUALLY ADDICTED TO IT

AND CAN'T SEEM TO LIVE WITHOUT IT.

SEEM TO LIVE FOR IT.

OR ELSE WHY BE ABOUT IT?

Things could just be SIMPLE without it.

Even being associated with people who are all about it

is being involved in it, to some degree.

GUILTY BY ASSOCIATION.

Anyway, I'm still writing, just been posting less

because I've been doing other stuff.

Having some sort of goals is keeping me "somewhat sane."

Making some progress is making progress.

EVEN SLOW AS IT CAN BE.

I'd rather go slow and steady than burn myself out.

Things have been changing in my life. 

I want to believe that it's for the better. 

So I'm trying to push myself to believe it.

Just often doesn't feel like it.

Because it often feels like I'm going backwards.

And that feeling bugs tf outta me.

Progress is important af to me.

In all areas in my life.

It just feels like I have to work like 10x harder

FOR THINGS TO BE FAIR, EQUAL, AND SIMPLER.

AND THAT BUGS TF OUTTA ME, TOO.

NO DOUBLE STANDARDS, NO HIDDEN MOTIVES, NO BS WHATSOEVER.

IT JUST SEEMS TO BE A HUGE PILE OF BS

EVERY TIME I TURN AROUND.

LIKE THEY WANT TO EXPECT EVERYTHING FROM ME,

WHEN WHAT CAN I EXPECT OF THEM?

THAT THEY HAVEN'T ALREADY SHOWN ME?

ANYTHING? IF VERY LITTLE?

BUT WHEN IT COMES TO WHAT THEY WANT...

WHOLE DIFFERENT STORY, RIGHT?

WHEN I WAS MAKING THINGS EASY.

TOO EASY, I GUESS.

AND THAT IS A MISTAKE.

NOT TO MAKE, REPEATEDLY.

WHEN YOU MAKE IT EASY, 

WHILE IT SHOULD BE APPRECIATED, 

IT DOESN'T SEEM TO BE.

It should be easy to have a conversation.

WITHOUT IT TURNING INTO SOMETHING

IT NEVER HAD TO BE

OTHER THAN A CONVERSATION...

BUT TRY HAVING CONVERSATIONS WITH PEOPLE

WHO WANT TO "WIN" AN ARGUMENT

YOU'RE NOT TRYING TO HAVE.

ESPECIALLY THOSE WHO WANT TO "WIN"

AT ALL "COSTS."

WHEN IT IS ABOUT FKN UNDERSTANDING. 

NOT FKN WINNING.

THERE'S NOTHING TO FKN "WIN."

BUT JUST LET THEM THINK THEY WON.

WHEN AND IF THEY REALIZE

THAT IT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE

ABOUT "WINNING"

THEY'LL REALIZE THEY LOST OUT

BECAUSE THEY WANTED 

TO "WIN."

AND BY THAT TIME, YOU'RE FREE

OF THEIR BS AND CAN JUST GO YOUR OWN WAY.

WITHOUT THAT BS.

Which I am doing and it kinda feels GOOD.

For a change.

If they choose BS, that was their choice.

Because they could have chosen

NOT TO BE ABOUT IT

OR LISTEN TO PEOPLE

WHO WANTED THEM TO TREAT ME LIKE TRASH ETC.

They could have taken the time to LISTEN.

AND APPRECIATE HOW I WAS MAKING THINGS

FKN EASY FOR THEM.

AND THAT I WAS CHOOSING TO DO THAT, FOR THEM.

AND THAT THE THINGS I WANTED

WASN'T ASKING FOR MUCH.

At the same time, I've been needing to examine things

like WHY I wanted what I wanted, in the first place.

Because some other questions get answered

when certain questions get answered.

AND CAN'T JUST GO AROUND SAYING

"I don't know why."

Because it's up to you to know why or figure out WHY.

And when you do, other things start making sense.

All these things I write about, here, I don't get

to talk about with anyone.

I just let them jump to their "conclusions" about me, assume things etc...

BECAUSE WHAT DOES IT EVEN MATTER?

They'll do it whether they'd actually listen to me or not. 

AND WHEN IT IS ONLY ABOUT WHAT THEY WANT,

WHY WOULD THEY CONSIDER WHAT I WANT, 

AND WHAT I DON'T?

BECAUSE: DOES THAT MATTER TO THEM?

AND WHEN I "RETRACT" MYSELF FROM "THE EQUATION"

THEY GET MAD

LIKE I WAS JUST SUPPOSED TO

PUT UP WITH THAT.

AND JUST GIVE THEM WHAT THEY WANT.

WHICH WAS MAKING THINGS EASIER FOR THEM.

WHILE NOT EVEN APPRECIATING IT. OR ME.

I DON'T OWE IT TO THEM, WHAT THEY WANT.

NO MATTER HOW MUCH THEY WANT IT

AND THINK THEY SHOULD JUST GET IT

FROM ME AND WHOEVER ELSE.

THAT IS WHAT THEY SEEM TO FAIL TO REALIZE.

Someone told me that, in a conversation. 

"Nobody owes us our desired outcome."

SO WHY SHOULD WE ACT LIKE THEY DO?

AND TO GET MAD AT ME

FOR GIVING ME REASONS TO WALK AWAY?

AND BEING MAD ABOUT IT IS

A REASON TO WALK AWAY.

What bugs me, also, is you think

you know someone

TO FIND OUT THAT YOU NEVER DID...

I'D RATHER GET TO KNOW MYSELF

ON A DEEPER LEVEL

BY ANSWERING THOSE WHY QUESTIONS

ABOUT MYSELF...

THAN "TRY" TO BE WITH SOMEONE

WHO WON'T AND CAN'T SEE WHY

THEY SHOULD BE

OR SHOULD HAVE, ALREADY.

AND THAT IS HARD TO FIND. VERY HARD.

I MEAN, IN A POTENTIAL PARTNER.

BUT, IN GENERAL. 

Life's not all about coffee and lipstick LOL.

Or who can "cockblock" who.

Or whatever selfish, gross, BS.

It not only turns me off, 

but it turns me off to the point

that it disgusts me.

Once I'm disgusted, that's permanent.

Back like 20 years ago, I wanted what I wanted so much

that it took too much importance.

OVER THINGS THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN MORE IMPORTANT, TO ME.

1) Why did I even want what I wanted?

2) Why did I make it "important"?

(at all, let alone more than other things)?

THIS GOES FOR EVERYTHING.

Like when my friend suggested an "arrangement,"

I asked him why it was even "important"?

He said he hadn't looked at it that way, before.

I could say a bunch of things that might get people

looking at things they hadn't looked at, before.

Things that might get people to look at themselves.

It just seems like they get mad when they do.

BECAUSE THEY DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT FROM ME.

BECAUSE IF WHAT I SAY MADE "SENSE"

AND I'M SUPPOSED TO BE "THE STUPID ONE"

IT MAKES THEM FEEL STUPID.

THEY DON'T LIKE IT.

IT DEFLATES THEIR EGO

AND THEIR WHOLE "REASON"

FOR BEING ABOUT THEIR BS...

MAKES THEM LOOK AT THEMSELVES

WHICH THEY DON'T WANT TO DO.

IT'S NOT SOMETHING FUN, 

UNLESS YOU'RE INTO

INTROSPECTION...

AND I CAN ADMIT THINGS I'M ASHAMED OF.

OF MYSELF FOR EVER HAVING BEEN ABOUT.

FOR "NO REASON"

BUT FOR A "REASON."

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

BUT IT'S ALWAYS AND ONLY BEEN

UP TO ME TO REVEAL THAT

TO MYSELF. 

ABOUT MYSELF.

Something someone asked me:

"Why did you need to know why

when you didn't have to be about that?"

Maybe to come to some realizations

THAT I NEEDED TO REALIZE.

He was basically saying that I

shouldn't have to examine it

to just not be about it.

He has a point.

Because when you don't have to be about it

THAT'S ALL THAT SHOULD HAVE TO BE

REALIZED, RIGHT?

IS THAT YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE.

WHY YOU WERE ABOUT IT IS ONE THING...

TO REALIZE THAT...

AND ONCE YOU REALIZE THAT...

IT'S UP TO YOU

WHAT YOU DO WITH THAT.

JUST LIKE IT'S BEEN UP TO ME

WHAT I DO WITH

WHAT I REALIZE ABOUT MYSELF, 

OR ABOUT LIFE, 

IN GENERAL.

Would be nice

FOR PEOPLE TO REALIZE

SOME THINGS ABOUT ME.

BECAUSE IF THEY DID, 

MAYBE THEY WOULD CHANGE THEIR TUNE.

AND REALIZE EVEN MORE.

LIKE THE WAY THEY'VE LOOKED AT ME

HAS MORE TO DO WITH THEM

THAN IT EVER HAD TO DO WITH ME.

AND THE WAY I LOOK AT ANYONE OR ANYTHING

SAYS WHATEVER IT SAYS ABOUT ME.

Even when it feels and seems like

THEIR ASSUMPTIONS ABOUT ME

DIRECTLY INFLUENCES

HOW THEY LOOK AT ME.

Maybe going back to "stigmatization"

and s*xualization" with that.

Can't assume someone's dtf

when they're actually not.

Speaking of dtf....

Some "p0rn star" or "onlyfans" whatever...

She wanted to break the record

for most guys in 24 hours.

ONE FKN THOUSAND.

SHE HAD DUDES WAITING IN LINE.

SHE WAS MAKING "CONTENT" FOR HER "ONLY FANS"

BUT "ONLY FANS" REFUSED TO LET HER POST IT.

AS MUCH AS THEY ARE FOR PEOPLE

EXPLOITING THEMSELVES, 

IT WAS TOO MUCH FOR THEM...

AND!!!! SHE GOT PREGNANT!!!!

NEVER ENDING "MAURY" RIGHT THERE.

EVEN IF THEY TESTED 10 DUDES PER EPISODE, 

THAT WOULD BE 100 EPISODES!!!

AND WHO WANTS "SLOPPY SECONDS"

LET ALONE "SLOPPY HUNDREDS?"

I STOLE "SLOPPY SECONDS" 

FROM AN INTERVIEW...

THE DUDE LITERALLY SAID THAT

ABOUT SOMEONE'S WIFE

BECAUSE THERE WERE RUMORS

THAT THEY WERE HAVING AN AFFAIR

OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

ON. LIVE. TV.

AND HE GOT BACKLASH FOR IT.

Imagine being #1,000 though?

And that is just for THAT day.

Obviously been many others BEFORE that.

And to each their own, though.

Who am I to "sl*t shame"?

Not like I'm a virgin...

BUT I DON'T ENJOY MEANINGLESS S*X.

SO I DON'T HAVE ANY, ANYMORE.

BUT SINCE SHE COULDN'T POST IT,

SHE BASICALLY LET 1,000 DUDES FK FOR FREE.

AND!!!! DOESN'T KNOW WHO KNOCKED HER UP!!!!

IRONIC!!!!

KINDA FUNNY, IN A TWISTED WAY.

And sadly some of the dudes cheated on their partners

FOR A CHANCE TO FK THIS ONE FOR 5 MINUTES EACH OR LESS THAN...

Sacrifice ANYTHING, FOR THAT???!!! JUST TO LINE UP FOR THAT???!!

And did they have to sign a waiver? Or what?

Why did I even ask that?

She should have her account banned.

Just my opinion on that.

Even to prevent anyone else from being... Nasty.

1,000 is... I can't imagine that, even.

Even in the 26 years I've been "active,"

less than 10.

In the last 10 years, two.

Not that it's anyone's business...

Just saying... 

And it didn't mean anything, to them, 

OR THEY WOULD HAVE TREATED ME BETTER.

LIKE THEY DIDN'T WANT ME TO WALK AWAY.

INSTEAD OF ACTING LIKE THEY DIDN'T CARE

IF I DID.

BUT WHY WOULD THEY CARE?

IF IT WASN'T ANYTHING TO THEM, 

THEY WOULDN'T.

SO WHY PUT OUT AND BE EXPECTED

TO PUT UP WITH BS?

It's as though it was only about that

BECAUSE IF THEY WANTED MORE

THEY WOULD HAVE ACTED LIKE IT.