I Don't Know Why

I don't know why people
SLAM THE DOOR IN THEIR OWN FACE
REPEATEDLY
UNTIL YOU TELL THEM TO FK OFF.

AND WHEN YOU TELL THEM TO FK OFF
THEY STILL KEEP GOING.

All they had to do
WAS NOT SLAM THE DOOR
IN THEIR OWN FACE.

And then they act ALL MAD
THAT YOU HAD ENOUGH
OF THEIR BS.

And that you're not putting up with it.
WHY SHOULD YOU?
WHY SHOULD I?

FOR MORE GARBAGE?

And they don't seem to know the meaning of
F*CK OFF, THOUGH.

It means "don't contact me, period."

When you slam the door in your own face
DON'T EXPECT ANYONE 
TO GIVE YOU MORE CHANCES.

YOU CAN'T GET MAD AT ANYONE
OTHER THAN YOURSELF
FOR DOING THAT.
WHEN YOU DIDN'T FKN HAVE TO DO IT!!!

AND IF SOMEONE ELSE
IS MAKING YOU ACT LIKE A SHIT
TOWARDS SOMEONE
THEY ARE DOING IT FOR A REASON. 

They could have SEEN that, 
TOOK A STEP BACK FROM THAT SH*T.
REALIZED IT WAS BS
AND JUST NOT BEEN ABOUT IT.

But they'll see it when and IF they see it
AND BY THEN, TOO FKN LATE.

Like all the guy had to do was say "time and date only"
INSTEAD, PROCEEDED WITH
WASTING MY TIME WITH ALL KINDS OF BS.

MAD AT ME THAT I WAS
"PLAYING A GAME
ABOUT HIM GETTING HIS STUFF"

WHEN HE WAS REFUSING 
TO HAVE A CIVIL CONVERSATION ABOUT IT
TO THE POINT I TOLD HIM TO F*CK OFF.

THEN GETS MAD THAT I TELL HIM TO F*CK OFF?
BECAUSE HIS EGO CAN'T TAKE THAT
I DON'T "LIKE HIM ANYMORE"?

What is there about him TO like?
Anything?

ALL HE DID WAS TEACH ME
NOT TO PUT UP WITH BS.

THAT'S ALL HE DID FOR ME.

THAT and seriously TURN ME TF OFF.
OF WANTING TO BE WITH
OR AROUND FKN ANYONE.

When you reach your peak
OF BS OVERLOAD
YOU ACTUALLY WANT 
TO JUST FKN BE ALONE.

WITHOUT ANYONE'S BS,
PERIOD.

The people around him
ESPECIALLY THAT JEALOUS MANIPULATOR
WHO WANTED TO RUIN EVERYTHING
AND WANTED HIM TO RUIN EVERYTHING

Manipulated him to go against me.
No matter wtf it was:
ZERO COOPERATION. 

PROJECT ALL THEIR SH*T ONTO ME
UNTIL I TOLD HIM TO FK OFF.

And then? When I told them to fk off, DID THEY?
OR DID THEY KEEP FKN GOING?

It's only okay WHEN THEY WANT SOMETHING, RIGHT?
They want pictures of their stuff
SO THEY CAN PICK AND CHOOSE
WHAT THEY WANT TO KEEP AND TAKE FFS.

NO, TAKE IT ALL TF WITH YOU.
I'M NOT RESPONSIBLE
FOR SH*T YOU DON'T WANT. 

WHAT ABOUT THE BS I DIDN'T WANT?
That's why I said TIME AND DATE ONLY. 

To make it fkn easy not to be a SH*T. 

But what? Can't even do that?

And when I said f*ck off, 
COULDN'T JUST DO THAT, EITHER?

This is the kind of sh*t that TURNS ME 
ALL THE WAY OFF.

Why waste my time with that sh*t?

AND GET MAD AT ME
BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO WASTE
MY TIME ON HIS BS?

Let people be mad
that you don't want to waste your time
on their bs.


Are you supposed to be living YOUR TRUTH
OR THEIR BS NARRATIVE?

Even if they EXPECT YOU 
TO LIVE THEIR BS NARRATIVE,
YOU DON'T HAVE TO!

After being gaslit to the max, 
YOU KNOW HOW TO TELL
WHAT TF IS MANIPULATION
AND WTF ISN'T. 

And if you can't tell...
THAT'S A PROBLEM. 

Because if you can't tell, 
YOU CAN GET MANIPULATED EASILY.

AND WHEN YOU CAN GET MANIPULATED
YOU CAN GET USED.

AND WHEN YOU CAN'T, 
PEOPLE GET MAD
BECAUSE THEY CAN'T USE YOU.


All because SOMEONE
DIDN'T WANT SOMEONE
TO TREAT ME "FAIRLY"

AND WANTED THEM TO LASH OUT AT ME
AND WANTED THEM TO SLAM THE DOOR
IN THEIR OWN FACE.

AND SO THEY DID!

BECAUSE WHY?
THEY WERE EASILY MANIPULATED.

And had they SEEN that they were being
MANIPULATED
MAYBE THEY WOULD HAVE THOUGHT TWICE.

But is it MY fault that THEY can't SEE that?
Because it seems I'm getting the blame
FOR FKN EVERYTHING.

For what they can't OR REFUSE TO SEE!
AS THOUGH IT'S MY FKN FAULT!

THEY WERE SO CONCERNED
ABOUT WHAT WAS GOING ON IN MY LIFE
THAT THEY LITERALLY WERE STALKING ME FFS.

And it took me a while to add it all up...
BECAUSE THIS SH*T DOESN'T USUALLY HAPPEN.

BUT WHEN IT DOES, IT'S SIMILAR
TO OTHER SH*T. 

LIKE GRADESCHOOL SH*T.


Let the smear campaign continue, I guess.

When I thought it was over, it starts
right tf back up again.

BECAUSE THEY DON'T KNOW
WHAT STOP OR FK RIGHT OFF MEANS.

Being a sh*t gets you what? SH*T.
AND WHEN YOU GET SH*T
FOR BEING A SH*T
YOU CAN'T GET MAD.

BECAUSE IT WAS YOUR CHOICE!!!!!

Not hard to understand that.

If you slam the door in your own face
WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO ABOUT IT?
TELL YOU NOT TO SLAM THE DOOR IN YOUR FACE?

BECAUSE WHEN I DO THAT,
YOU JUST SLAM IT IN YOUR FACE, ANYWAY.

DO I HAVE THE TIME TO DEAL WITH THAT?

DID YOU HAVE TO BE A SH*T?
OR DID YOU CHOOSE TO BE A SH*T?

AND WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO ABOUT THAT?
TELL YOU NOT TO CHOOSE TO BE A SH*T?
BY TELLING YOU TIME AND DATE
OF PICK UP ONLY?

AND AFTER NOT RESPECTING THAT...
OR ME, AND I TELL YOU TO FK OFF
YOU GET MAD?

BECAUSE YOUR "ATTEMPT"
AT BEING NICE
AFTER SLAMMING THE DOOR
IN YOUR OWN FACE FOR THE LAST TIME
WAS SUPPOSED TO "CLEAR THINGS UP"?

No, there's no "clearing things up"
YOU MEAN TRYING TO WIPE
THE RESIDUAL RESIDUE
OF YOUR BS OFF WHAT YOU DID?

THAT WE BOTH KNOW THAT YOU DID?

Is that "clearing things up"?
AFTER BEING SUPER TOXIC AND SH*TTY?

"Attempting to be nice"
After being A SH*T
ISN'T THE SAME AS
JUST FKN BEING NICE, CIVIL
AT THE VERY LEAST.

I WAS BEING EXTREMELY CIVIL
WHEN I SAID DATE AND TIME ONLY.

AND TO TAKE ALL OF IT WITH HIM.
THAT I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE
FOR THE ITEMS HE DOESN'T WANT.

JUST TAKE IT ALL OR FK OFF.

SO NOW HE CAN'T EVEN CONTACT ME
ABOUT HIS THINGS

BECAUSE WHEN I CONTACTED HIM
ABOUT HIS THINGS
HE CHOSE TO ACT LIKE A SH*T.

BECAUSE I GUESS THAT'S WHAT HE WANTS TO BE.
PEAKED IN HIGH SCHOOL OR SOMETHING.
BECAUSE HIS MENTALITY ISN'T FAR FROM THAT.

WHICH IS FKN SAD FOR HIM
AND ALL HIS LITTLE FRIENDS...

It's sad, but also disappointing. 
WHEN SOMEONE HAS SO MUCH
POTENTIAL
BUT THEY DON'T WANT TO SEE THAT.

OR DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT.
BUT IT'S NOT FOR ME
TO MAKE HIM DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.


IT'S LIKE THEY DON'T WANT TO SEE
HOW THEY COULD BE
IF THEY STOPPED ACTING LIKE A SH*T.

AND THEY WANT TO BLAME ME
THAT THEY DON'T WANT TO SEE THAT.
ABOUT THEMSELVES

WHEN IT HAS NOTHING TO FKN DO WITH ME!!!
IT HAS EVERYTHING TO DO WITH THEM!!!

ALL OF THEM!!!
EVERYONE WHO INVOLVED THEMSELVES
IN THE LITTLE GAME OF "HATE ON A***."

DID I EVEN FKN DO ANYTHING
TO ANY OF THEM?

OR DO THEY JUST "BELIEVE" I DID?
WITH NO FKN PROOF WHATSOEVER?

"BELIEVING" IT WITH NO PROOF
BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE TALKING SH*T.
IS ALLOWING YOURSELF
TO BE MANIPULATED.

Here's a really extreme example of manipulation:

There was a story I saw, a video, about a woman
WHO WAS BEATEN, STOMPED, BURNED ETC
BECAUSE SOMEONE STARTED A LIE
ABOUT HER
THAT SHE DID SOMETHING
THAT WAS SUPPOSEDLY SO AGGREGIOUS
THAT A WHOLE MOB "BELIEVED" IT.

AND SHE DIDN'T DO IT.

I didn't actually do anything "wrong"
PEOPLE DON'T LIKE ME
SO EVERYTHING I DID
OR TRIED TO DO
WAS MADE TO LOOK "WRONG."

With all kinds of fkn tactics and bs. 

And when I had enough, I told them to fk off.
AND WHEN I DID
THEY PROCEED TO INSULT ME?
THEY PROCEED TO DISRESPECT ME?

WHEN I HAVE A RIGHT 
TO TELL THEM TO FK RIGHT OFF?

AND IF THEY DON'T LISTEN
WHEN I TELL THEM TO FK RIGHT OFF?

Doesn't mean I have to lower myself to their level.
I get so mad at people
THAT I PRAY FOR THEM TO REALIZE
WHATEVER TF THEY NEED TO REALIZE.

I can't force them to realize fuq all.
But if I pray that THEY DO, THEY MIGHT.
I PRAY THAT THEY DO, 
BUT IT'S NOT UP TO ME
WHAT PRAYERS GET ANSWERED
AND WHAT PRAYERS DON'T. 

And I'd like to think
THAT IF IT'S FOR THE RIGHT REASON
LIKE THEM REALIZING SOMETHING
FOR THEIR OWN SAKE,

Then I'm not praying for their
death and destruction etc...

Which would be praying for my own.
Which is why they are literally
praying for their own
by TRYING TO PRAY FOR MINE.

Chances are that IF IT IS FOR THEIR OWN SAKE
They might get that prayer, from me.
FOR THEIR OWN SAKE.

When I get SO P*SSED OFF
AT SOMEONE'S STUPIDITY, 

I LITERALLY PRAY
FOR THEM TO REALIZE SOMETHING.
ANYTHING. JUST SOMETHING.

Because JUST ONE realization
leads to another, leads to another...

And if it leads to the realization
THAT THEY DON'T HAVE TO BE A SH*T,
AT ALL, LET ALONE WITH ME

MAYBE AFTER YEARS AND YEARS AND YEARS
OF STEWING IN KARMA, I DUNNO...
EVENTUALLY, IF AT ALL...

It'd STILL BE FOR THEIR SAKE.

So yeah, I get so mad that instead of lashing out
or whatever tf I feel like doing, at the time...

I write down a prayer of REALIZATION
and I put it in my prayer jar.

And maybe, SOMEHOW, 
ETHERICALLY, OR WHATEVER

THEY'LL REALIZE SOMETHING.
"MAGICALLY."

AS THOUGH THE REALIZATION ITSELF
CAME FROM "ABOVE"

AND THINGS START 
"MAKING SENSE."

BUT AT THAT POINT, 
I'M LOOOOOOOOOOOONG GONE.

Because WHY WAIT
FOR SOMEONE TO REALIZE SOMETHING?
IF IT COULD TAKE
THE REST OF YOUR LIVES?

Why waste your time on waiting FOR THAT?
I ALMOST DID!
SO DON'T DO IT!

You could waste your LIFE
on waiting FOR SOMEONE
TO REALIZE SOMETHING. 

ESPECIALLY IF THEY HADN'T THOUGHT
A LOT ABOUT THE THINGS
THEY OUGHT TO BE THINKING ABOUT.

AND IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT
IF THEY REFUSE TO FKN THINK!

EVEN IF THEY TRY TO BLAME YOU
FOR THEIR REFUSAL TO THINK!

The whole issue being NOT THINKING.
THEY CAN'T BE MAD AT YOU
BECAUSE YOU DON'T WANT
TO THINK FOR THEM.

Or because you don't have the time
OR THE FKN DESIRE TO THINK FOR THEM.

AND IT IS THEIR FKN JOB!
JUST TO THINK FFS.

And they tend to lose what they needed
WHEN YOU LET THEM HAVE
WHAT THEY THOUGHT THEY WANTED.

AND IS THAT YOUR FAULT, TOO?
SEEMS TO BE MINE. LIKE EVERYTHING ELSE.

IT'S MY FAULT HIS THINGS ARE STILL HERE APPARENTLY.
BECAUSE HE COULDN'T
TAKE IT UPON HIMSELF
TO "RESPONSIBLY"
REMOVE ALL HIS "BELONGINGS"
FROM MY "RESIDENCE"
WHERE HE IS "NO LONGER WELCOME."

AND IF HE WANTED TO BE WELCOMED
HE SHOULDN'T HAVE BEEN A SH*T.

IF HE FEELS LIKE HE'S MISSING OUT
ON WHAT I'VE GOT GOING ON...

HE SHOULDN'T HAVE BEEN A SH*T.
IT WAS HIS CHOICE TO BE ONE.

AND A WHOLE CROWD
WANTING HIM TO BE ONE
SO I'D TELL HIM TO FK OFF AND WALK AWAY.

They didn't want to see ME happy, 
and didn't want to see him and I together.

AND THAT IS WHAT HE GETS
FOR LISTENING TO THEM.

HE GETS THE GIRL
HE COULD HAVE HAD
WALKING AWAY FROM HIM. 

IF HE FEELS LIKE HE WON
SOME GAME HE WAS CONVINCED
I WAS "TRYING TO PLAY WITH HIM"
BY GIVING HIM CHANCES
NOT TO BE A SH*T...

BY BEING A SH*T... HE LOST.

And THAT is the realization
THAT I PRAY FOR HIM, THE MOST.

But I've realized
that he has a lot to realize
BEFORE HE EVEN GETS THERE.

I'm not wishing him bad, 
I'm just saying anything bad he wished for me
is what he'll get to experience.

And by being a sh*t, he'll have to experience that.
And hopefully it'll make him realize
WHAT A SH*T HE'S BEEN TO ME
FOR NO FKN REASON.

OTHER THAN REASONS
OTHER PEOPLE GAVE HIM FFS.

OR HE GAVE HIMSELF.

JUST ANY REASON TO BE A SH*T.

And if that's all some people know,
that's all they know.

UNTIL THEY REALIZE THINGS.
THEY SHOULD HAVE REALIZED
A LONG TIME AGO.

THAT IF THEY HAD NO REAL REASON
TO BE A SH*T
MAYBE THEY SHOULDN'T
HAVE BEEN A SH*T.

But then "try" another approach
after I tell them to f*ck right off?

And then when you tell them
TO TAKE EVERYTHING WITH THEM

YOU'RE BEING A B*TCH
FOR EVEN WANTING THEM TO!!!!

WHEN YOU HAVE A RIGHT
TO WANT THEM TO TAKE 
EVERYTHING WITH THEM
SO THERE IS NO REASON
TO EVER SPEAK TO THEM AGAIN.

ABOUT FKN ANYTHING.

But I'm "wrong" for wanting that, too, eh?

For wanting to have the right to want that?
JUST THAT?

WANTING THE RIGHT
TO JUST WANT WHAT I WANT.

Not in a greedy way, or manipulative way.

JUST WANTING THE VERY FKN LEAST.

THEY DON'T NOTICE THEIR DISRESPECT
UNTIL YOU DISH IT BACK
AND THEY DON'T LIKE IT.

IF THEY DON'T LIKE IT
THEY SHOULDN'T BE DISHING IT OUT.

Another realization that I really pray for him. 

The universe doesn't care if they don't like it, 
that's what they project, out there, 
they'll get the reflection
of what they project.

And yeah, I've been projecting some anger.
Mostly frustration.

BECAUSE SERIOUSLY WTF.

HE THREATENS TO SEND 2 GIRLS TO MY DOOR.
And doesn't see why I'd tell him to fk off?

Thinks I owe him pictures of his stuff
AND GETS MAD WHEN I WON'T 
JUST GET RIGHT ON THAT FOR HIM.

BECAUSE I DON'T OWE THAT TO HIM.
TO DO ANYTHING HE WANTS OF ME.

NOT AFTER BEING INSULTED ETC,
AFTER HAVING MY PROPERTY DESTROYED
BECAUSE HE WANTS TO BE A SH*T.

HE CHOSE TO BE A SH*T TO ME
BECAUSE OF OTHER PEOPLE
WHICH IS WORSE
THAN JUST CHOOSING TO BE A SH*T.

It's pretty hard to forgive that sh*t.
BECAUSE THERE WAS NO NEED FOR THAT SH*T.
IT WAS ALL TO FEED OR BOOST THEIR EGO.
THEIR "PRIDE"
BECAUSE THEY NEED TO "WIN THE GAME"
THAT I WAS NEVER FKN PLAYING WITH THEM.

THEY CONVINCED THEMSELVES THAT I WAS,
AND AS LONG AS THEY WANT TO CONVINCE THEMSELVES
OR WHATEVER THEY WANT TO CONVINCE THEMSELVES
THEY WILL CONVINCE THEMSELVES...

But what really gets me is BEING CONVINCED BY OTHERS.

If you let others convince you, you're letting others convince you.
AND IF THEY KNOW THEY CAN CONVINCE YOU
WHAT DO YOU THINK
THEY ARE GOING TO DO?

OR TRY TO DO?

I've had dudes trying to convince me into things.

"We're both in our mid-40s'
we both haven't had s*x in a while..."

Just because they get in a mood and I happen to be there...

And why assume I haven't had s*x in a while?
AM I OUT HERE TELLING EVERYONE
HOW OFTEN I HAVE S*X?

WHICH ISN'T OFTEN
BECAUSE I'M SO TURNED OFF
BY EVERYONE'S BS?

But I could have had "another arrangement"
THAT I WASN'T TELLING HIM ABOUT.

I don't, because I don't fkn want one...
But he assumed that I don't.

But the point was THAT HE WAS TRYING 
TO TALK ME INTO IT!!!!

And that is the sh*t I don't like.
It does not turn me on, it grosses me out.

If someone is showing signs
THAT THEY DON'T WANT TO FK YOU,
THEY DON'T WANT TO FK YOU.

AND ANY CONVINCING
ISN'T GOING TO "SEAL THE DEAL."

It'll actually work in the opposite way.

AND IF THAT ISN'T YOUR INTENT,
DON'T GO THERE.

Like that dude who was trying to talk me into
going to the xxx store with him. 

I flat out told him I did not want to go.
He tried to talk me into going, anyway.
RIGHT AFTER I TOLD HIM I DIDN'T WANT TO.

Was that supposed to MAKE ME WANT TO GO?
AFTER I SAID NO?

THAT JUST MAKES ME NOT WANT TO GO
EVEN MORE!

SO WHY DO IT?
AND NOT JUST ACCEPT
THAT I DIDN'T WANT TO GO?

Did he get it in his head
that if he bought me a "toy"
that he'd get to "use it on me"?

Or "in me" *shudder*

THAT is the sh*t that TURNS ME TF OFF.

HOW is that NOT creepy from someone
YOU'RE NOT IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH?

Is that supposed to MAKE you WANT TO
have a relationship?


Like when my friend suggested his "arrangement."
I DIDN'T JUMP ON IT RIGHT AWAY
LIKE HE WANTED ME TO.

And SINCE I DIDN'T JUMP ON IT
LIKE HE WANTED ME TO,

HE KEPT TRYING.

If you suggest it, and it's a no-go...
DROP IT.
FOREVER.

OUT OF RESPECT.

That's what GOOD FRIENDS DO!!!!

They don't get SELFISH 
AND TRY TO MANIPULATE.
TRY TO CONVINCE
AND TALK THEM INTO IT
JUST BECAUSE THEY WANT IT...

THEY RESPECT THAT NO MEANS NO.
EVEN WHEN THEY WANT A YES.

That was what bugged me about it.
And I'm going to probably have to bring it up, 
again, if it comes up, again. 

I really wish it hadn't, but it did.

That's the thing about being a female.
Guys think they can just do that, 
say what "they need to say"
to "get into the girl's pants"
AND THEN BE A COMPLETE SH*T.

THAT'S WHY I AM NOT SEXUALLY
ATTRACTED ANYMORE.

THERE HAS TO BE MORE THERE
THAN "SAYING WHAT YOU NEED TO SAY."

"DOING WHAT YOU NEED TO DO"
Would be awesome! Y'know?

By "doing what you need to do"
it's also about
"not doing what you need not to do."

LIKE SLAMMING THE DOOR IN YOUR OWN FACE.
ONCE, LET ALONE REPEATEDLY...


Once should be fkn embarrassing. 
But I guess if you give a person the chance
NOT TO FKN DO IT
AND THEY ARE HELL BENT
ON DOING IT ANYWAY, 
CAN YOU FORCE THEM NOT TO?

YOU CAN TELL THEM NOT TO, 
BUT THEIR CHOICE
IF THEY ARE GOING TO LISTEN. 

AND IF THEY WANT TO BE A SH*T
THEY WON'T LISTEN.

AND IF THEY AREN'T EVEN MATURE ENOUGH
TO LISTEN....

THEY WON'T HEAR
ANY OF YOUR WARNINGS.

UNTIL THEY REALLY P*SS YOU OFF.
AND THEN THEY GO RUN, HIDE, AND CRY.

AND CALL THE POLICE!!!!

He literally threatened ME
and called the police ON ME

BECAUSE I TOLD HIM TO FK OFF?

He's the one who literally threatened
TO SEND 2 GIRLS TO MY DOOR
AND CAN'T JUST FK OFF...

BUT WANTS TO CALL THE POLICE ON ME?!

MUST BE SCARED I'LL DO SOMETHING!
OR ELSE WHY?

TO WASTE THEIR TIME
ON HIS IMMATURITY TOO?

WHEN THEY HAVE BETTER THINGS TO DO?

But I'm harassing him
BECAUSE HE LEFT SHIT AT MY HOUSE
TOLD HIM I'M MOVING, I WANT IT GONE.

IF HE WANTS IT, TAKE IT ALL, OR FK OFF. 
FK OFF ANYWAY, BUT IF YOU WANT YOUR SH*T
TAKE ALL OF IT.

IT'S NOT MY JOB TO "KEEP YOUR STUFF"
OR HELP YOU DECIDE WHAT YOU WANT TO KEEP.
OR SEND YOU PICTURES
JUST BECAUSE YOU ASKED FOR THEM.

WHAT DID I ASK FOR?
TIME AND DATE ONLY.
THAT'S WHAT I ASKED FOR.

Did I get what I asked for?
When I asked for it?

Or did I get a sh*thead being a sh*t?
Like I typically get?

Because they haven't matured...

But they get all MAD when you tell them
THEY NEED TO GROW TF UP.

You want to know the sh*t I've endured
BECAUSE OF PEOPLE
WHO HAVEN'T MATURED?

That's probably why I am as strong as I am.
I don't like it, but, it is what it is.

It feels like a scream in my gut
that wants out.

If I DID WHAT EVERYONE'S DONE TO ME,
TO THEM, IT WOULD BE VERY FKN DIFFERENT.

And I pray they realize that, too.
I can only hope and pray, 
IF I COULD FORCE THEM TO REALIZE IT
I REALLY FKN WOULD.

THEN THEY'D REALLY HAVE A REASON
TO CALL THE COPS LOL.

I swear if he shows up here on Friday
looking for his sh*t, 
I'm going to lose my sh*t.

WHY BE MAD AT ME FOR
"PLAYING GAMES"
WHEN HE'S LITERALLY
PLAYING HIMSELF?

You ever want to see
FOOT IN MOUTH SYNDROME
PERSONIFIED?

All he has to do is look in the mirror.


Was it fair to give him another chance to get his things?
TO TELL HIM TIME AND DATE ONLY?

And if he just said time and date ONLY.
And got ALL of his things,
TO DEAL WITH THEM, HIMSELF, 

WE COULD HAVE LEFT IT AT THAT.
ON A DECENT NOTE.

BUT HE DOESN'T EVEN SEEM TO KNOW
HOW TO JUST DO THAT
AND FK RIGHT OFF.

He had the chance to! I gave that to him.
He could have had what we could have had
IF HE WASN'T BUSY BEING A SH*T.

BUT NOW I GET TO HAVE THAT
WITH SOMEONE ELSE. 

ONE DAY.

WHILE HE GETS TO BE MAD
AT HIMSELF
FOR SLAMMING THE DOOR IN HIS OWN FACE.

He can't be mad at ME for HIS choices.
He only has himself to blame for that.


I'm mad at myself for my own choices.
FOR STICKING AROUND
FOR AS LONG AS I DID.

"HOPING" HE'D REALIZE...
FINALLY...

AND AFTER HE "REALIZED"
HE'D PERMANENTLY
CHANGE HIS "ATTITUDE" TOWARDS ME.

AND STOP BEING A SH*T FOR NO REASON.

And if the reason is to feed their ego, 
THEY CAN SHOVE THEIR EGO
UP THEIR @SS.
AND NEVER SPEAK TO ME AGAIN. 

But if the reason is other people
"sabotaging,"

Also, never speak to me again.

Because if you LET people "sabotage"
THEY'LL KEEP DOING IT.

And when someone MISSES OUT, 
THEY MISS OUT.



I WAS RIGHT FKN THERE.
FOR TOO LONG, BUT I WAS RIGHT FKN THERE.

AND IF THEY DIDN'T WANT ME TO WALK TF AWAY...
THEY COULD HAVE TREATED ME BETTER!

THE WAY THEY COULD HAVE.
IF THEY CHOSE TO!!!

WAS A CHOICE! Series of choices, 
BUT STILL A CHOICE.

So if you play yourself, like he did, 
YOU DON'T GET INFINITE CHANCES.

WHEN YOU HAVE YOUR VERY LAST FKN CHANCE
IT IS YOUR LAST FKN CHANCE!!!

DO SOMETHING WITH IT
OR WASTE IT.

USE IT OR LOSE IT.

Wasted the chances, the time etc...

And once you can't get me BACK,
YOU CANNOT GET ME BACK.

My ex wanted to get back together
after punching me in the head.

The last 3 guys I "dated"
HAVE SHOWN ME MY WORTH. 

They have EACH shown me
WHY NOT TO PUT UP WITH THEIR SH*T.
WHY TO WALK TF AWAY.
WHY NOT TO GO BACK.