Packing Sucks

It's too hot in here, again. 30C. Wtf.

This is why I have to turn the heat off. 
Or I'll get heat stroke ffs.

Anyway, I'll be gone from this place soon enough.
With all the crap happening here, 
THAT THEY DON'T SEEM TO CARE ABOUT.
DOESN'T "AFFECT" THEM, RIGHT?
THEY DON'T HAVE TO LIVE HERE.
I'VE HAD TO ENDURE THAT.
ALL OF THAT.

I had bedbugs TWICE.
After the first time, I didn't move my furniture back
FOR 2 YEARS, IN CASE I GOT THEM AGAIN....
AND WHAT HAPPENED WHEN I MOVED EVERYTHING BACK?
I GOT THEM AGAIN!
HAD TO GO THROUGH MOVING STUFF, AGAIN. 

And the time the pipes in the basement busted...
WHICH ISN'T THEIR FAULT.
THAT HAPPENS.

But the storage units were FLOODED.
MY THINGS GOT WET.
NOBODY TOLD ME THEY GOT WET
OR THAT THEY MOVED MY THINGS
WITHOUT MY KNOWLEDGE.

And when I went to look for something
in my storage unit, it was EMPTY.

SO I WAS LIKE WTF? WHERE ARE MY THINGS?
THEY COULDN'T EVEN REMEMBER
WHERE THEY PUT MY THINGS.

WE HAD TO GO TO A "PROBABLE LOCATION"
AND KEEP LOOKING AROUND
UNTIL THEY FOUND MY THINGS.

And when I got my things back, 
they had been wet for so long
and didn't get dried out
LIKE I COULD HAVE DONE
HAD THEY TOLD ME WHAT HAPPENED. 

THEY KNEW THE UNIT WAS REGISTERED TO ME.
THEY COULD HAVE INFORMED ME.
THEY DIDN'T. 

AND WHAT WAS THEIR "SOLUTION"
THEY GAVE ME $20 CREDIT.

WHOOPTY FREAKING DOO.

My childhood memories GONE.
AND I CAN'T REPLACE ANYTHING.

So obviously, I don't think too highly of them. 
And I just want to be OUT of HERE.
FINALLY. 

Because if THEY KICKED ME OUT, 
THEY WOULDN'T GIVE ME MUCH NOTICE.

SOMETHING TELLS ME THEY'D CALL THE COPS
AND HAVE THEM DRAG ME OUT.
OR SOME BS LIKE THAT.

I'M GOING TO TALK TO ONE OF THE MALE STAFF.
THE 2 WOMEN AT THE DESK ARE FKD.

I WAS RAISING MY VOICE, YES.
BUT I WASN'T YELLING. 

PEOPLE CAN'T SEEM TO TELL THE DIFFERENCE.
PEOPLE DON'T SEEM TO LISTEN TO ME
REGARDLESS IF I RAISE MY VOICE OR NOT. 
SO DOES IT EVEN MATTER?

I TOLD THEM I AM NOT PAYING FOR A MONTH
THAT I AM NOT GOING TO BE HERE.

THEY LITERALLY EXPECT ME TO.

MY LEASE DOES SAY 60 DAYS NOTICE.
I FOUND A COPY OF IT
THAT I SIGNED 20 YEARS AGO. 
AND THAT'S WHAT IT SAYS.

That's why I KEEP EVERYTHING.
OR ALMOST EVERYTHING. 

I'm getting boxes today, 10 of them. 
I've already been filling bags. 

The only thing heavy is the furniture.
I'm throwing some of it out. 
I'd like to get some new furniture.
And I don't want the bedbugs following me
to the new place. Fk that.

The new place better not have any BS.

At least I'll be up high enough
that nobody can see into my windows.
Unless they have a drone lol. 

The lady who told me about the place, 
said it's a nice view from there.
I'll be able to see the fireworks on Canada Day.
From my balcony. Cool, eh?

Won't get the morning sun, like here, 
but probably will get to see the sunsets. 

If I have to stay here for an extra month, 
at least I could start moving into the new place, 
because it'll be available at the end of February. 

(She told me the 21rst).


I'd rather not have to pay for 2 places.
F*CK that sideways with a surfboard.

The other night, I was going through my books. 
I found some stuff my son wrote in the second grade.
School stuff. If he wants it, he can have it.
I've kept some of his stuff. 

I don't want to take much with me.
I don't need everything I've kept. 

Plus, mirror smasher left some of his stuff here.
I'm not going to bother to even tell him
or give him yet another chance
to get his things.
BECAUSE HE SHOULD HAVE TAKEN IT ALL
WHEN I KICKED HIM OUT.
AND I SHOULDN'T HAVE HAD TO
THREATEN TO THROW IT OUT
IF HE DIDN'T COME GET IT.

AND AS IT WAS, 
EVEN THOUGH I DESERVED
TO MOVE ON IMMEDIATELY
AFTER THAT EPISODE, 
I HAD TO WAIT 7 FKN MONTHS
FOR HIM TO SUDDENLY 
"CARE ABOUT" HIS THINGS. 

He had Od'ed and was on life support
a few months after I kicked him out. 
AND HE CAN'T BLAME ME FOR DOING IT.
BECAUSE I WAS THE ONLY ONE
TRYING TO HELP HIM OUT. 
WHO CARED ENOUGH TO HELP HIM OUT.

AND WHAT DID HE DO?
CONTINUOUSLY?
DISMISSED ME.

And if you're going to do that, to me, 
in my own house, 
GTFO. 

Bad enough he did that sh*t at all. 
EVEN BEFORE HE MOVED HERE.
I GAVE HIM TOO MANY CHANCES
TO SHOW ME SOMETHING
OTHER THAN THAT.
WHICH HE CHOSE NOT TO.

So WHY should I "put up with" that sh*t?
BECAUSE HE EXPECTS ME TO???
FK NO.

He can go fk himself
regarding anything he left here.
A bag of clothes and a couple of blankets.

The blankets I'm going to give to my brother
FOR HIS DOG. 

He can fight the dog for them back. 

HE ONLY CAME TO "GET HIS THINGS"
BECAUSE HE THOUGHT HIS HOODIES WERE HERE.
THAT'S ALL HE WAS INTERESTED IN. 

HAD HE COME TO GET HIS THINGS, HIMSELF...
AND PUT MY KEYS BACK IN MY HAND, HIMSELF, 
HE COULD HAVE JUST TAKEN EVERYTHING WITH HIM,
INSTEAD OF ACCUSING ME OF STEALING FFS.

WHY WOULD I WANT ANYTHING OF HIS?
I TOLD HIM TO COME GET HIS SH*T
OUT OF MY HOUSE.

HE WAS TOO MUCH OF A P*SSY TO GET IT.

PROBABLY THOUGHT I WAS HERE, 
WAITING FOR HIM WITH MY BAT
OR THAT I WAS GOING TO AMBUSH HIM
FOR SMASHING MY MIRROR.

WHICH HE KNOWS WAS BS.

"There's no excuse for it" He said. 
WELL NO SH*T.
AND IF THERE WAS ONE?
HE'D HAVE GIVEN ME THAT
INSTEAD OF THE APOLOGY I NEVER GOT.

And when HE GOT HERE.
HE SAID HE WOULDN'T DO THAT SH*T ANYMORE.
AND STILL DID IT.

So am I THE KEEPER of his things?
THAT HE DIDN'T CARE ENOUGH ABOUT
TO COME GET IT HIMSELF?

IMMEDIATELY
AFTER I KICKED HIS @SS OUT?

No, he was banking on the fact
THAT I'D FEEL TOO GUILTY
ABOUT THROWING HIS THINGS OUT.

Because he knows that I would feel guilty about it.
And that I wouldn't want him doing that to me, 

BUT IF IT WAS THE OTHER WAY AROUND:
Would I have THE RIGHT, ANY RIGHT
TO "FORCE" HIM TO KEEP MY STUFF 
AT HIS PLACE
UNTIL I FELT LIKE COMING TO GET IT?

AFTER BUSTING HIS FAMILY HEIRLOOM?
DISMISSING AND DISRESPECTING HIM?
IN HIS HOME?
AFTER PUTTING A ROOF OVER MY HEAD?

Doing the best that I could TO HELP HIM
GET OFF DRUGS.
AND NOBODY SEEMED TO CARE
THAT HE WAS ON DRUGS
THEY DID DRUGS WITH HIM.

They didn't and don't care
IF HE RUNS HIMSELF INTO THE GROUND.
I DID.

Because why? I cared about him. 
Did he care about me?
If he did, he wouldn't have treated me
the way that he chose to. 

AND IF IT WAS BECAUSE OF HER
(THE JEALOUS, SPITEFUL, MANIPULATOR)
AND IT WAS...
THAT'S EVEN WORSE.

Or his "friends" who only used him. 
BECAUSE I SAW IT HAPPENING. 

And what about him? He was trying to use me.
BECAUSE IT WAS CONVENIENT
FOR HIM TO BE HERE.

AND HE WAS GETTING CLEAN HERE, 
SUPPOSEDLY...

Unless he was secretly shooting up.
BECAUSE I GAVE HIM PRIVACY
AND WASN'T WATCHING HIM 24/7.

BECAUSE I TRUSTED HIM TO UPHOLD
THE RULE I HAD:
NO DRUG BS IN HERE.

Which should have been fair enough. 
WASN'T CHARGING HIM FOR RENTING MY ROOM. 
I ASKED HIM TO GIVE ME $100/MONTH
TO PAY ME BACK THE MONEY HE OWED ME.
AND TO SPLIT THE INTERNET. 

That's MORE THAN FAIR. 
That's generous, even. 

He can't get a room in this city
For less than $700/month. 

AND ALL THAT I ASKED
WAS TO PAY ME BACK?
LIKE HE HAD 4 YEARS TO EVEN
PAY ME $100/MONTH?

He could have asked the guy he 
supposedly borrowed the money FOR
to fkn pay it back.

NO THANKS FOR SAVING ANYONE'S @SS.
ESPECIALLY SINCE I NEVER FKN HAD TO.

EVERYTHING I EVER DID FOR ANYONE
WAS FOR THEM. NOT ANYONE ELSE.

And that jealous WTF one...
SHE WAS TRYING TO THANK ME
FOR SOMETHING I WAS DOING FOR HIM,
NOT FOR HER.

Nothing I ever did was FOR HER.
Since I literally HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH HER
SHE KEPT CONTACTING ME.

THREATENING ETC.

AND IF I HAD DONE THAT?
WHOA! ALL HELL'D BREAK LOOSE. 

And the only time I even told her off
WAS WHEN SHE WAS TRYING TO TELL ME OFF
FOR KICKING HIM OUT.
WHICH HE FKN DESERVED.

I told her not to play with me either.

AND SHE WAS TOLD HE WAS TALKING WITH ME.
AND EVERY TIME I WAS TALKING TO THE GUY
SHE HAD TO TEXT HIM LIKE 50 TIMES
TO MAKE IT IMPOSSIBLE TO 
HAVE A CONVERSATION. 

Because how dare I tell him the truth
ABOUT HER BS? RIGHT?

AND SHE AND I BOTH KNEW SHE WAS DOING THAT.
WHICH SHOULD BE EMBARRASSING
TO BE LIKE THAT.

That's GROSS to be like that.

AND IT'S GROSS SHE EXPECTED HIM TO
JUST "GIVE IN" TO HER TEMPER TANTRUMS
WHEN SHE WASN'T GETTING HER WAY.

Because WHAT WOULD HAVE BEEN FAIR, TO ME,
WOULD HAVE BEEN "UNFAIR" TO HER.

EVEN THOUGH SHE DID A BUNCH OF SH*T
THAT WAS UNFAIR TO US BOTH.

But who am I to tell him that, eh?
AND HAD HE LISTENED
INSTEAD OF DISMISSING ME
HE WOULD HAVE GOTTEN THE POINT.

OR AT LEAST I'D HOPE SO.

Because if he didn't...
HE'D BE NO BETTER THAN HER.

Because she didn't seem to UNDERSTAND
THAT I WAS IN HIS LIFE
BEFORE THEY MET.

And maybe she was jealous of the facts.
That I knew him when I was 2 and he was 4.
And his mom and my mom were friends.
My mom stayed with his mom
when she was peggers with me.

My mom went with his mom
to sign up at the maternity home
where his mom went before he was born. 

It's not like the only history we had
was going to the same high school. 

We used to play together as kids.
His grandparents lived across the street
from my grandparents.

But he wanted to be the way he was being.
TOWARDS ME.

I HAD ENOUGH OF HIS BS & HERS.

Especially hers.
BECAUSE WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN
BETWEEN HIM AND I
WITHOUT HER INTERRUPTING, INTERJECTING, ETC...

COULD HAVE BEEN.
AND ALTHOUGH SHE WOULDN'T CHOOSE THAT.
SINCE SHE'S AS SELFISH AND GREEDY AS SHE IS...
NOT TO JUST MOVE TF ON
AND "LET" US "REKINDLE."

OR AT THE VERY LEAST "RECONNECT."

Like she had "stipulations" regarding
SOMETHING THAT WAS NONE OF HER BUSINESS.

How can a CHEATER try to c0ck-bl0ck me?
Not that he's mature enough
TO TURN ME ON. 

HER immaturity
should have been enough
to turn him off...

BUT WHY NOT TAKE THE "BRUNT"
OF HER BS FOR ANOTHER 20 YEARS? LOL. 

"I can't do it anymore." Then don't. 
Is anyone saying you HAVE TO?
OTHER THAN HER?

NOBODY? THEN DON'T, DUDE.

How hard is ANY of this to understand, though? Y'know?
BUT IS SCREAMING THIS AT ANYONE
GOING TO MAKE THEM "UNDERSTAND"?
MAGICALLY?
It's either they do, or they don't. 

And if they can't, WHAT IS THE USE?
TO HAVE TO REPEAT YOURSELF?
TO SOMEONE WHO JUST DISMISSES YOU
FOR THAT BS?

BUT is any of that MY choice?
OR WAS IT HIS?
NOT HER'S, HIS.

But I'm "crazy" so nothing I say "makes sense."
IT WOULD MAKE PERFECT SENSE
IF I WAS THE ONE DOING THIS SH*T.

EVERYONE KNOWS THAT.
AND IF THEY DON'T
THEIR PROBLEM, NOT MINE.

Anyway, just venting a bit, I guess.
Only reason I was even thinking about him
was because he left his sh*t here.

And quite possibly, I'll sell some of it.
The polo shirts. 

And give the blankets for my brother's dog. 
BECAUSE FK THAT GUY.
IF HE WANTED IT, 
HE WOULD HAVE JUST NOT BEEN A P*SSY
THINKING I WAS "LYING IN WAIT"
TO ATTACK HIM OR SOME SH*T.

If I was going to, I WOULD HAVE.
Already would have.

Like even when my ex punched me in the head...
DID I ATTACK HIM FOR DOING IT?

DID I LAY A HAND ON HIM WHATSOEVER?

He left his stuff here and went back to BC.
Because he was being a p*ssy, too.
What kind of a p*ssy punches a female in the head?

Aren't guys not supposed to hit girls?
Let alone PUNCH THEM WITHIN AN INCH
OF THEIR TEMPLE?

AND EVEN AFTER HE DID THAT, 
WHAT DID I DO?
I CLOCKED OUT AND LEFT.
BECAUSE WE WERE AT WORK.
WORKING TOGETHER.

AND HAD THERE BEEN A SUPERVISOR
TO SUPERVISE HIM, 
HE WOULD HAVE JUST DONE HIS FKN JOB.
AND I WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN P*SSED AT HIM.
FOR NOT DOING IT
AND SITTING ON HIS @SS
WHILE I DID MINE.

We could have sat on our @sses when we got home.
Because that's what being at home is for.

And even at home, he sat on his @ss
while I did chores
AND NEVER ASKED ME
IF HE COULD HELP WITH ANYTHING
BECAUSE HE DIDN'T WANT TO
AND EXPECTED ME TO DO EVERYTHING.

Which also p*ssed me off...

BUT DID I ATTACK HIM?
AFTER HE PUNCHED ME IN THE HEAD?
NO? AND IF I WANTED TO, 
I PROBABLY WOULD HAVE.

Because who would have stopped me?
From "unleashing" onto him
FOR DOING THAT TO ME.
FOR EVEN GRABBING ME
BY THE WRISTS
BEFORE HE PUNCHED ME IN THE HEAD...

And if that wasn't enough...
He damaged property
that belonged TO THE CLIENT.

BECAUSE HE DGAF.
He wanted to be selfish and ignorant
TO THE FACT THAT IT WASN'T HIS PROPERTY
TO DAMAGE. PERIOD.

Just like my mirror, my antique family heirloom
WAS NOT HIS TO SMASH AND BREAK...

Am I the only one who KNOWS BETTER THAN THAT?

And people wonder WHY I don't want to date anymore?
For what? To waste even more of my life? On BS?
No thanks. 

Going through my collections to pare them down...
That's hard for me.
I'd take everything with me, 
but I HAVE TOO MUCH STUFF FOR ONE PERSON. 

I found some necklaces I'm going to sell. 
I doubt if any of them are particularly valuable...
But if they are actual gold, they might be.

Two of them might be.
But, I'll have to see what the guy says...

And if I can get something for them, 
BETTER THAN NOTHING.

And some stuff to give away.

I found a bunch of stuff I forgot that I had.
Because it's been in a box in the closet. 
For years.

Like finding stuff in an attic...

Should be excited about this move, 
but I'm more tired and nervous about the actual move.

I cleared out one of the rooms.
And when I get the boxes, 
I'll clear out the bathroom.
Not a lot in there.

And I'll pack up the kitchen. 

Got more laundry to do, but it'll get done.
Then I can leave stuff upstairs and put a sign: "Free stuff."
Because there's only so much that I actually NEED to bring with me.
And only so much I actually need, period.

Sometimes, I've had dreams where I needed to leave FAST
but I was like "what about all my things?"

And tried to "dream pack" everything.
Yes, I've had dreams I was packing my stuff LOL.

Also, I found some "evidence" that I might have
a couple of bank accounts I forgot about.

IMAGINE THE INTEREST OVER 20 YEARS?
I COULD BE RICH AND NOT KNOW IT LOL.

Would be cool if I had a nice chunk of change...
You'd think I'd remember if I did LOL.

But only one way to find out...
Hoping for the best hahaha.

If there's money in it, they'd have to keep it open. 
And I lost those bank cards so I'd need new ones anyway...
But I have the statements that are in my name.

If they give me any hassles about getting my money, 
I'll have to speak to a manager...
Then go higher and higher. 

BECAUSE WHY SHOULDN'T THEY
GIVE ME MY MONEY?
Because I forgot about it and left it there? LOL.

So those are two things to do tomorrow...
Sell those necklaces and go to the banks.
Two separate banks.

I think it was because I didn't like
how one of them was doing business.

So we'll see if I closed one account
and just opened the other one...

"Richer than you think @ Scotia Bank"
Might be right about that LOL.

TD is messed up. 
I don't like how they do business.

I was covered for accidental death coverage.
I missed one payment of like $12 
and they canceled my policy. 

And then, when I tried to get FULL LIFE INSURANCE
they refused to insure me.

I DON'T DRINK ANYMORE.
I DON'T SMOKE CIGARETTES ANYMORE.

I was approved for accidental death coverage...
SO WHY NOT LIFE INSURANCE.

Supposedly, the TD insurance company
is separate from the bank.

Now I have to get life insurance
FROM SOMEWHERE THAT WILL APPROVE ME.

Which isn't exactly a priority
while having to pack to move...

I figure that if I do a bit here and there, 
it won't be AS MUCH WORK TO DO LATER.

My back hurts from bending over LOL.
"Bend over, b*tch!" LOL.

Bending over to sort stuff and grab stuff...
Picking up piles of things to move the piles.

I have to get all the furniture
that I'm taking with me, 
into the dining room...

All the boxes will be in the living room. 
AND EVERYTHING WILL BE READY TO GO. 

LESS HASSLES FOR ANYONE HELPING ME.
My brother said he would. 
I guess everyone else is "too busy to help."

Why should THEY? Right?
I've helped THEM out when they came to ME.
And asked me.
And there've been times
THEY DIDN'T HAVE TO ASK ME.
BECAUSE IT WAS THE RIGHT THING TO DO.
AND DO I EXPECT ANYTHING?

No, but it would be cool if they were there FOR ME,
LIKE I WAS THERE, FOR THEM.

But why would they be?
THEY DIDN'T APPRECIATE THAT I WAS.
THAT I HAD THEIR BACK.

EVEN WHEN I DIDN'T HAVE TO.
EVEN WHEN THEY DIDN'T HAVE TO ASK ME.

But nope. Can't count on anyone it seems.
YET THEY EXPECT TO BE ABLE TO
COUNT ON ME, FOR EVERYTHING.

EVEN KNOWING I CAN'T COUNT ON THEM
FOR ANYTHING OTHER THAN BS.

Not even when it comes to helping me pack, 
helping me get rid of some stuff, 
helping me move stuff.

I'm not asking TO BORROW $1K
(FOR A FRIEND) LOL.

SHOULD HAVE TOLD HIM TO GO FK HIMSELF. 

DID ANYTHING CHANGE AFTER LOANING IT?
NO? THEN WHY DID I?
And did I get all of it back?
OR DID I HAVE TO WAIT 4 YEARS
FOR HIM TO START PAYING ME BACK?

DID HE EVEN ASK ME IF I NEEDED ANYTHING?
WHY WOULD ANYONE ASK ME
IF I NEED ANYTHING?

Not a lot that I actually need.
I need to eat, sleep, bathe, wash my clothes...
Food isn't cheap and laundry isn't free.

Neither is web hosting. Which was due today.
And I could pay that after selling the necklaces...
And finding any money if I have any in those accounts...

I'm waiting to hear from the lady who has boxes for me.
She said she'd bring them, today. 

Even though I have some things that I could be doing...
IT WAS AWESOME OF HER TO WRANGLE ME UP SOME BOXES.

I have stuff on the balcony that I need to clean off
and do something with.

I had the box for the SEGA in the closet.
YES, I kept the box it came in.
The original SEGA box.
It's not in the best condition, 
BUT HOW OLD IS IT?
AND HOW MANY ARE ACTUALLY
STILL AROUND?

I have a tin to keep my small tins in. 
I have a thing for tins.
Tins, books, rocks, jackets...
WOOL... I have a wool-valanche.

"Disclaimer before you come over...
I have an addiction.
You WILL see addiction-related things...
But it's NOT what you think."

Then they come over to swim in my wool LOL.
"Didn't you mean POOL?"
"No, I meant WOOL."

I don't have a pool and I don't have a "pool boy."
Although if I had one, 
the "pool boy" could use it for
"pool parties" as a bonus
for helping me keep it maintained. 

I've never had a pool so I don't know
any pool maintenance stuff.

Just like I've never had a car...

Do I need a pool? No.

I heard that one of the owners of Baskin Robins
Had a cone-shaped pool in his backyard...

Even if I were a millionaire, 
What difference would it make
TO HAVE THINGS I DON'T NEED?

Do I need a 4 car garage?
Do I need a pool?
Do I need anything "fancy" or expensive?
No. I don't.

If I had a pool TABLE, that'd be nice.
NOT TO HAVE TO RENT ONE
AT A POOL HALL, 
AND JUST PRACTICE AT HOME LOL.

There was a neighbor here, had one.
In his dining room/ living room. 

Other than wishing I had one of THOSE,
I don't need much, anyway.

I made a pile of books I'm willing to part with. 
Really hard to let books go...

And maybe I'll find a secret outdoor place
To have a "rock garden."
Instead of keeping them all at home.
But there are some that I really want to keep. 

-------

Update: The lady came with the boxes.
Already started filling up the boxes.

Today, I started clearing out the kitchen.

Why tf do I have so many plastic lids?

Oh! I found a coffee maker I didn't know I had.
Funny how you don't look in a cupboard for years...
You find stuff all over that you forgot you had...

I separated glass stuff from plastic stuff.
Plastic won't break. It shouldn't break.

I'd like to move the glass LAST for that reason.
Especially my glass table tops...

The lady who gave them to me, 
they were at her place when I was a kid. 
They are at least 30 years old.
More like 33 years old. 

She gave me a painting, too. 

I don't know how I'm going to position anything. 
I got photos of the place, today.

It's smaller, but it'll be mine.
In an older building...

I "googled" the address...
Found an article about a guy
who was trying to scale the balconies
to get away from a guy who wanted to beat his @ss.

I don't know what it was about, but the guy
who was coming after him ended up
getting a manslaughter charge
because the guy fell to his death.

I think from the 17th floor.
In 2017.

I don't remember hearing about it.

A bus crashed head-on into a car...
And at least 4 people were injured.

I hope they sue the bus company...

Also, the people who lost a family member
in the other crashes.

Like when the bus driver drove the double decker
into the bus shelter thing...

That happened close to my birthday.
I was out of town when that happened, 
but I traveled that route many times.

If I hadn't been away, would I have been on that bus?

Another thing....

Remember when I said I hadn't been remembering my dreams?
Well, I had one that I definitely remember...
Scared me. 

In my dream, my brother was staying in my room. 
And he said "Did you send any angels in here?"
I said no and went to go look to see wtf he was talking about...

AND THAT THING, THAT I MENTIONED IN HERE...
IT RUSHED AT ME.

It was an "entity" that was like a shadow, but it was
JET BLACK. 
SHADOWS AREN'T JET BLACK LIKE THAT.
NO FACE, JUST JET BLACK.

It was like the same thing that I saw in my room, once.
And the same thing that tried to jump on me
while I was sleeping, once...

And maybe it was what SPOKE INTO MY EAR.
"WAKE UP!" RIGHT IN MY EAR.
NO MISTAKING THAT FOR ANYTHING.
OTHER THAN A VOICE...
AN ACTUAL VOICE.
IT WAS SCARY.

I DID WAKE UP, FOR A BIT.
THEN WENT BACK TO SLEEP...

But IT RUSHED AT ME THIS TIME...
And all I heard afterward was "angel of death."
Have I been "marked"?
I don't know.

Getting things done... Even a bit here and there...
Every day, I'm making progress.
I have until the end of this month, 
and half of next month..
I have at least 3 weeks...

To sort, clean, pack...
To give stuff away.

I have a few things set aside to give away.
I'd like to do it as soon as possible.

And I'll donate stuff to the thrift store.
I really don't need everything I have...

Even sorting things like plastic and glass...
Is something done...

Got my dishes all washed and set aside
to be packed up tomorrow...

I'm just tired, sore, and hungry...
Bugs me to be hungry all the time
but also bugs me having to eat the same thing
EVERY DAY BECAUSE I HAVE TO BUDGET
TO PAY FOR OTHER THINGS...

And I have to get the internet hooked up
at my new place...
And phone etc...

I haven't had cable tv for years and years.
So I just don't bother with it.

Plenty on YouTube to keep myself entertained.
Been watching less videos and doing more packing...

Just gets overwhelming. 
Too much stuff that I don't know what to do with. 

At least I can organize everything at the new place.
I don't have to be in a huge hurry to unpack. 
And I don't have to be in a huge hurry
to get things the way I'd like them to be...

I'd like to get a new (new to me second-hand) couch.
A sectional would be cool. 

There's a baseboard-type heater on one wall.
Which makes it hard to put anything against that wall.

I'd like to reapposter the chairs I have.
I already have the fabric to do it with.
I just have to borrow a staple gun...
Or bring the seats and fabric with me
to the "tool library" and maybe someone there, 
might be nice enough to help me do that.

There's a "tool library" where you can borrow tools.
And can probably use them THERE.
Without having to take them with you...

I found purple satin curtains...
And "gold" colored curtains.

I think the "gold" fabric would look nice on the chairs...
Either that or I get new chairs, table, etc...

Nothing wrong with them
other than the fact an ex bought them for me.

I still have a couple of crochet projects out...
In case I get too stressed and need a break. 
Writing's fine for a break, 
I NEED TO DO SOMETHING WITH MY HANDS.

OTHER THAN TYPING...
AND... GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER LOL!

Also, I found a blue light bulb in the closet...
I want to get more of them...
Just so all or most of my lights can be blue lol. 

Damn!!! I'm tired!!!
It's easier when you're not the only one packing...

I got 10 boxes so that should be enough
anything that won't fit... In those boxes...
Doesn't get to come with me...
Unless it's furniture...

I guess that's it, for now...
I need to rest and sleep...

Good night ya bunch of hosers!