Definitely Did

Well, I thought it was tonight, but...
Cheap wings night is tomorrow night.

I really wanted to get wings at a certain place...
A place my friend took me to for my birthday.
But everything's gone up so much that he said
that it'd be ridiculous to go there.

So cheap wings night... Tomorrow.

Haven't seen the guy since before the pandemic.
Part of that had to do with the fact he moved
out of town and didn't have his car for driving while high.

They impounded his car.
Took a while to get it back. 

THAT I understand.

It's just that when they've had the time
to see other people, they've had time
to see me, too. 

But what? All I get are excuses?
Do I want excuses?

Or do I want to be treated the way
they treat the people they make the time for?

I've literally TOLD people
THAT I DON'T WANT EXCUSES
THE REST OF MY LIFE.

AT LEAST ONE PERSON.
I WISH I COULD JUST SCREAM IT AT
EVERYONE WHO GIVES ME EXCUSES.

BUT DO THEY GIVE EVERYONE ELSE EXCUSES?
OR JUST ME?

Anyway, by painting, I meant a specific project
that will take me a long time
because I have to save up, again, 
for more "supplies."

THAT'S WHY "STARVING ARTIST"
Because art supplies aren't cheap, 
and neither is food.

Art? Or food?
When you have to choose...

And the money I had saved up...
Welp, that goes towards bills, now.

Just because I bought 6 art-related things.
Actually 8.

Did I need to? No.
Was it my birthday? Yes.

I seem to give myself excuses, too.
"But it was my birthday."

"But I don't feel good..."

That migraine, yesterday, it felt...
Like I could've just puked a few times
and been good, but nope.

And it stayed all day until the last half hour.

It's been windy.
The wind just makes everything colder. 
That's why it gets down to -40C here.
Fun fact: -40C is the same as -40F.
-40 is the only temp that C and F meet.
If you didn't know, now you do.

It gets so cold in Russia, too. 

Well, look at Siberia...
Does anyone live there?
Or is it too cold to live there?

All I know is that's where the Siberian tigers are.
Snow tigers.

And saw a pic of a cow laying on the hood of a car.
Because the engine was still warm. 
So a cow decided to lay on the hood of the car
to try to warm up.

We don't have cows roaming around here.
Although we had a moose on the highway once. 

And there was a flamingo that flew here, once.
From a bird reserve place.

Did JT actually step down? I heard there was talk
about it, but there was talk about it before and it didn't happen. 

I don't know what's been going on recently.
I took a bit of a break. 
Too many things were bugging me, 
for new stuff to bug me...

Just like I took a break from watching QP
(Question Period) in the HOC
(House of Commons).

I haven't watched it in the HOC.
On tv or yt.

There was a site I liked. 
It was a site that had accumulated episodes
of shows, and makes them easier to find. 

It's called YTepisodes.
I haven't used it in years
and don't know if it's still around. 

The guy wanted money from people
to watch the free shows from yt
on his site.

And actually called people
who aren't willing to contribute leeches...

So I was just... Nope.

ALL THE SHOWS ARE FREE ON YT.
WHICH IS WHY I DON'T PAY FOR CABLE.

I don't even f*cking watch very much tv.
Most of the tv shows out there, 
never heard of them, watched them, seen them...

But it's all most people seem to want to do, 
watch tv or be on their phones.

When I'm on the bus, 99.8% of people
are on their phones.
Ever look up from your phone to notice that?

In Japan, (this is sad) they had to put the cross walk lights
on the ground because people were
walking into traffic, 
too busy on their phones to pay attention
TO TRAFFIC LIGHTS.

THE THING IS THIS:
WHAT ARE YOU NOT NOTICING
WHEN YOU'RE TOO BUSY ON YOUR PHONE?

THE WORST IS PARENTS WHO IGNORE THEIR KIDS.
TOO BUSY ON THEIR PHONE
TO GIVE THEIR TIME AND ATTENTION
TO THEIR KIDS....

AND KIDS WHO ONLY SEEM TO CARE ABOUT
THEIR PHONES.

IT'S SO BAD THAT THEY PUT SIGNS UP
AT THE TRAIN STATION
TELLING PEOPLE THAT IF THEY
DROP THEIR PHONE ON THE TRACKS
NOT TO TRY TO CLIMB DOWN TO GET IT.

And I think they had some emergency number
to call lol...
If your phone accidentally gets dropped on the tracks.

There's security for the transit line, but...
They aren't around all the time.

Bus people can be kinda creepy. 
One time, a dude got off at the same stop as me
FOLLOWED ME TO MY BUILDING
BECAUSE HE WANTED TO ASK ME
FOR MY PHONE #.

I suppose it could be considered flattering, 
but DUDE I DON'T KNOW YOU.
WE WEREN'T EVEN TALKING ON THE BUS.
WHY DO YOU WANT MY #?

It's different if you were talking to someone
and they ask for your #...

WAYYYY different than 
FOLLOWING SOMEONE HOME.

Like: Now you know where I live, too?
What's next? "What's your bra size?"

I swear, if I'm chatting with a dude
and he asks THAT... It's bye. 

Like do guys want to be asked how big their "thing" is?

"Great! An opportunity to whip it out!"

That f*cking guy... I wish he never did that.
The guy I was talking to... Once.
Randomly, he did that.
Outside, to a stranger (me).

Just not. Just don't. 
BECAUSE WHY F*CKING DO THAT?
TO A STRANGER?!

Like he had it all "worked out" in his head
that all he had to do was "whip it out."
And I'd somehow "get h0rny"
and "beg for it" or something? WTF.

Because that's how p0rn0s seem to go.
Maybe I'm a person? Not a piece of @ss.

That kind of stuff just bugs me.
SOMETIMES IT'S FUNNY, 
but mostly too creepy to be funny.

Dude answering the door naked was funny.
Wasn't at first and I wasn't going to be rude
and laugh in his face.
EVEN THOUGH IT WAS RUDE OF HIM
TO ASSUME THAT'S WHY I WANTED TO SEE HIM.
AND TO ASSUME I'D GO FOR THAT.

But, yeah, I did laugh, after, because it was too WTF.
And I told my friend and when we ran into the guy
getting off the elevator
when he was getting on the elevator, 
my friend laughed because he somehow
knew it was him
and I kicked my friend in the @ss for it.

He dodged my kick and laughed harder lol. 

But yeah... He's not a one to keep secrets.

Speaking of keeping secrets...
I was going to give my friend a telescope.
He saw it and asked if he could have it. 
I said he could have it, 
and his gf, at the time, called me
to tell me that she got him one for Christmas
and had been keeping it in her office at work
to surprise him for Christmas. 

AND MY FRIEND WAS P*SSED AT ME.
BECAUSE I TOLD HIM HE COULD HAVE IT.

AND I COULDN'T TELL HIM WHY NOT.
BECAUSE IT WAS A SURPRISE.

And the time I was working with a guy...
He set me up on a "blind date" with his friend. 

His friend invited me to go as his date
to my friend's surprise party lol. 

And my friend invited us to go have dinner with him
and his gf, at the time, like a double date thing. 

And my friend was like "why don't you guys 
come back to my place after?"

And I had hidden his present in a "locker"
at the mall before we met up with him for dinner.
The restaurant was at the mall, too. 

Because I knew he'd ask me about it
and I'd have to tell him and I wanted to 
give him the gift at the party.

So we lied and said we were going back to his friend's place.
My friend probably thought we were going to hook up lol. 
We didn't. What ended up happening...
He got drunk and passed out, and people took turns
drawing on his face while he was sleeping lol. 
Woke up the next day with a dink drawn on his cheek lol. 

We weren't a match. Nice guy, just not a match.

As for dating goes...
I have sh*tty things happen...
BECAUSE PEOPLE SEEM TO CHOOSE TO BE.
TOWARDS ME...

Then I say I'm fed up, had enough f*cking disappointment etc...
I stick to myself, do my own stuff, 
then someone comes along... 
And I give them a chance....
To just not... XYZ.

Like the last guy who XYZ.

BECAUSE IT SHOULDN'T BE HARD
NOT TO XYZ. JUST TO JUST NOT.
THAT'S IT.

And it's WEIRD that THAT is 'intimidating.'
AND STANDING ON BUSINESS
IS INTIMIDATING.

Should it be? Really?
Shouldn't they be standing on theirs?

WHY BE SCARED OF THAT?
AND HIDE IN MY ROOM?
AND P*SS INTO A THERMOS?
WHEN THE BATHROOM
IS LITERALLY ACROSS THE HALL?

And one time he ran into the washroom
and locked himself in it.

LIKE A F*CKING COWARD
RUNNING FROM WHAT? THE TRUTH?

WAS I GOING TO DO ANYTHING TO HIM?
IF I WAS GOING TO, I WOULD HAVE.

A LONG TIME AGO.

But no, treat me like such a scary person
FOR TELLING YOU THE TRUTH.

LIKE I'M GOING TO LUNGE AT YOU
TO FORCE YOU TO EAT IT.

THAT IS WHAT P*SSED ME OFF.
TREATING ME LIKE THAT.

THE TRUTH'S THE F*CKING TRUTH.

Even if they did want to hear it
NOBODY WANTS TO HEAR IT FROM ME.

"WHY SHOULD I LISTEN TO YOU?
WHERE'S YOUR SUCCESS STORY?"

My success story is not settling for that sh*t.
My success story is I'm still alive
despite having MANY thoughts 
OF ENDING IT ALL, MANY TIMES.

If I had the money, that's all they'd be around me for.
"Buy me this, and that. I want this, I want that."
AND WHEN I'M BROKE
THEY DON'T WANT TO HANG OUT?
BECAUSE THEY ALREADY DEPLETED ME?

THAT'S HOW GREEDY AND SELFISH PEOPLE ARE!

AM I ASKING ANYONE TO BUY ME ANYTHING?
IF I DON'T HAVE THE MONEY FOR IT, MYSELF,
DO I NEED IT?

AND IT WAS FOR STUPID THINGS.

LIKE DRUGS ETC.

Why ask ME for money for YOUR drugs? Y'know?
Am I asking YOU for money for MY drugs?
No? Because I'm not thinking of JUST MYSELF. 
I'M THINKING ABOUT YOU.
BY NOT ASKING YOU.
GET IT?

BECAUSE WHY?
BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT JUST THERE
TO ASK FOR EVERYTHING.

AND IF THE ONLY REASON I'M THERE
IS TO ASK FOR EVERYTHING
I DON'T NEED TO BE THERE, PERIOD.

A FEW PEOPLE FOUND OUT THE HARD WAY.
THAT I DON'T NEED TO BE THERE
JUST TO BE USED FFS.
WHO TF WANTS THAT?

Just some people ARE SO DAMN SELFISH
THEY CAN'T SEE HOW SELFISH THEY ARE.

And here I am feeling f*cking selfish
JUST WANTING THE BARE MINIMUM, 

THAT THEY'RE WILLING FOR EVERYONE ELSE.

But it's like they're too selfish to EVEN SEE THAT.
NOT SO HARD TO SEE
WHEN IT COMES TO THEMSELVES, THOUGH.

NOT HARD TO SEE THE BARE MINIMUM
THAT THEY'D WANT.

THAT THEY EXPECT FROM ME!!!!!!

BECAUSE I'D BE THE SELFISH, INCONSIDERATE ONE, 
IF THE BARE MINIMUM COULDN'T COME FROM ME, EH?

IF I COULDN'T BE BOTHERED NOT TO XYZ. RIGHT?

But it seems I'm mature enough NOT TO DO IT.
SO WHAT DOES THAT SAY ABOUT ME?

THAT MAYBE I HAVE SOME CONSIDERATION?
FOR EVEN HOW IT'D LOOK
COMING FROM ME...
COMING FROM ANYONE...
BUT ESPECIALLY FROM ME...

And I didn't always have that.
Because why? I was being immature.
I can admit, now, that I was.

ANY critique, I took personally. 
It felt like an attack. 
It p*ssed me off more than it made me think. 

Like that couple arguing in the parking lot
and she wanted to just leave it at "sorry."

PEOPLE WILL JUST SAY IT
TO STOP TALKING ABOUT IT.

BUT HOW ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO EVEN KNOW
WHAT YOU'RE "SORRY" ABOUT
IF YOU DON'T TALK ABOUT IT?

And not every CONVERSATION has to be a fight.
That's what p*sses me off, too. 

IF YOU ARE NOT MATURE
TO HAVE A CONVERSATION
WITHOUT INSULTING SOMEONE
OR TRYING TO DEMEAN THEM
IN SOME TYPE OF WAY, 

GIVE YOUR HEAD A SHAKE
AND KICK YOUR OWN @SS, FOR ME...

Because why?
BECAUSE THAT'S BULLSH*T.

When I'm p*ssed off, they can see that.
BUT DO THEY ASK WHY?

DO THEY EVEN LISTEN TO WHY?

AND MOST OF THE TIME, 99.8% OF THE TIME
THEY F*CKING KNOW WHY
BECAUSE THEY WOULD BE, TOO.

THEY ONLY CARE IF I DID THAT TO THEM, 
WHICH I WOULDN'T, 
AND THEY ALREADY KNOW IT.

BUT DOES IT STOP THEM?
FROM DOING IT TO ME?

What if I punched my ex in the head?
Close to his temple?

What if I smashed mirror smasher's mirror?
Family heirloom?

What if I asked to "borrow" $1k...
AND DURING THE 4 YEARS BEFORE
I EVEN MADE ANY EFFORT
TO EVEN PAY YOU BACK...
EVEN ASKED YOU 
IF YOU NEEDED ANYTHING FROM ME?

FOR HAVING MY BACK?!
OR BEING THE KIND OF PERSON WHO WOULD? 

THEY'D JUST NOT HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH YOU,
UNTIL THEY NEED SOMETHING, 
AND THEN? THEN THEY WANT TO "TALK"?
JUST TO ASK YOU FOR SOMETHING?

That's why I don't ask anyone for anything. 
NOBODY WHO'S ASKED ME FOR MONEY
I EVER ASKED FOR MONEY
UNLESS I WAS ASKING FOR MY MONEY BACK
THAT THEY OWED ME.

There were times I was in a pinch, here and there, 
BUT IF I'M NOT IN A PINCH, 
AN EMERGENCY...

IT IS MY JOB TO HAVE MY OWN BACK. 
WHICH AT TIMES, I CAN BARELY DO
AND YET WHAT?
PEOPLE ASK ME FOR MONEY?
FOR SOMETHING THEY WANT?

NO. The word of the day is no.
I can't even ask to watch a movie, 
or to play a game
on my BIRTHDAY.

COULDN'T EVEN ASK FOR MY MONEY BACK.

COULDN'T EVEN ASK NOT TO BE ASKED FOR MONEY.
OR TO BE ASKED TO BUY STUFF.

I'm not 20 anymore. 
Sure, some things would be nice to have, 
and it's nice to do nice things for people
WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE DOING THEM. 
NOT TO BE ASKED ALL THE TIME, Y'KNOW?

BUT IF YOU DON'T SAY NO, THEY'LL KEEP ASKING. 
AND WHEN YOU DO SAY NO?
THEY GET MAD?
JUST BECAUSE THEY GET MAD
DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD SAY YES.

Like mirror smasher's gf (that insecure selfish one).
HE TOLD ME THAT SHE LITERALLY MAKES
ANYTHING INTO WWIII
WHEN SHE WANTS SOMETHING.

LIKE A TANTRUM OVER WANTING SOMETHING
UNTIL SHE GETS IT.

THE REASON SHE KEEPS DOING IT
IS BECAUSE IF SHE DOES IT LONG ENOUGH
SHE'LL GET WHAT SHE WANTS.
IT'S WORKED FOR HER.

AND HE SHOULD HAVE SAID NO TO HER
A LONG @SS TIME AGO.

ESPECIALLY WHEN SHE KEPT TRYING
TO BE IN MY BUSINESS.
WHICH IS NONE OF HERS.

SHE KEPT DOING IT AND HE KEPT LETTING HER.
AND HE WILL, PROBABLY THE REST OF THEIR LIVES.

HOPE THEY GET MARRIED.
AND STOP CHEATING ON EACH OTHER LOL. 
THEY DESERVE EACH OTHER.
AND THEIR BULLSH*T. 

Anyone see me? Interjecting into HER conversations?
To threaten her? Or anything else?
WHY IS THAT?

Why? Anyone know THAT about me?
BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE TO.

Her business is HERS, right?
SO DO I HAVE A RIGHT TO READ HER MESSAGES?
DO I HAVE A RIGHT TO INTERJECT?
DO I HAVE A RIGHT TO DO
ANY OF THE THINGS SHE DID?
OR HE DID?

But MY business is mine. Not hers.
She had no right. Just like I don't.
BECAUSE WHY?
IT IS HIS CHOICE.
YOU CAN'T FORCE SOMEONE
TO BE WITH YOU.
AND IF YOU'RE TRYING TO
IT'S BECAUSE YOU WANT SOMETHING. 

BECAUSE WHAT? IT'S THEIR CHOICE.

You can't just demand someone want what you want.
Because why? Because f*ck that sideways with a surfboard. 
On every day that ends with y.

She was getting all territorial over him
AS THOUGH IT WAS HER F*CKING CHOICE.

HE IS A PERSON WHO CAN CHOOSE.
HIS CHOICE.

NOT TO BE WITH ME ANYMORE...
NOT HIS CHOICE ABOUT THAT, 
BUT IT IS HIS CHOICE TO BE WITH HER.

And sometimes I look back and wonder if I'd even been happy
if I had everything I thought I had wanted. 

And it made me ask myself "why'd I even want that?"
Because that's what I was supposed to want?
What I thought I'd be happy with?
Or was it something else?

Because what if I'd settled for that when I could have had
something else?

And that's what some people would call:
"The grass isn't always greener."

And "not everything that 'glitters' is 'gold.'"
Low and behold.

But I guess I had to experience that to see:
"See? This is why you didn't get the thing, A***."
And I am trying to have "faith" in something, one day. 
AT THE SAME TIME. I AM F*CKING TIRED.
OF GAMES, LIES, BULLSH*T, JEALOUS FEMALES, 
GARBAGE, IMMATURITY, 
SELFISHNESS, GREEDINESS, 
ARROGANCE, DISGUSTINGNESS
ALL OF XYZ SH*T JUST NOT TO DO.
OR BE ABOUT
IN ANY REGARD
WHATSOEVER.

And I don't know why it should be SO DAMN HARD
TO JUST ASK FOR ANYTHING BUT
ANY OF THAT.

SHOULD IT HAVE TO BE? SO DAMN HARD? FOR THAT?

For that, AT THE MINIMUM. 

And I'm not talking about BENDING OVER BACKWARD
TO KNOW I'M P*SSED OFF, 
FOR A REASON
AND UNDERSTANDING WHAT THAT REASON IS. 
AND UNDERSTANDING
THAT I'M NOT HERE FOR ANY OF THAT SH*T. 

None of that is ever what I was signing up for. 
WOULD THEY HAVE SIGNED UP FOR IT?
NO? THEN WHY WOULD I?

But then want to spin the block when there's nobody else?
WHEN YOUR GF CHEATS ON YOU FOR THE 100TH TIME
AND YOU CRY TO ME ABOUT IT
MEANWHILE I WASN'T "GOOD ENOUGH"
SO WHY CRY TO ME ABOUT IT?

Why didn't you listen to me when I told you she was using you?
Because if she wasn't, why would she cheat on him?

IF SHE "LOVED" HIM. 

BUT COULDN'T SEE HIM WITH ANYONE ELSE.
BECAUSE THEN SHE COULDN'T KEEP WHAT?
USING HIM.

WHICH I SAID, TOO.
BUT LOOK WHAT HAPPENED, EH?

BUT DO TRY TO MAKE ME LOOK AND SEEM CRAZY
TO HIM AND EVERYONE ELSE
WHO CLEARLY NEVER KNEW ME...

AND HOW COULD ANYONE?
WITHOUT ALL THAT?

Didn't want to hear it, or it from me, 
BUT I F*CKING TOLD HIM. 
AND HE HAD A CHOICE.
AND THAT WAS THAT.

Just like he had a choice not to break my mirror.
OR DISRESPECT ME, IN ANY WAY.
AFTER MY CONSIDERATION FOR HIM...
BECAUSE WHY? 
IF HE HAD LISTENED, 
HE WOULD HAVE KNOWN. 
SIMPLE. 

And she wanted to ruin it for the both of us.
TO HAVE HER OWN WAY.
BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT SHE DOES, 
APPARENTLY.
AND HE LETS HER DO IT.
BY NOT WALKING AWAY FROM IT.
EVEN AFTER CRYING TO ME ABOUT IT FFS.

BUT I'M JUST THE 'GOOD FRIEND, 
WHO JUST GETS IGNORED 99.8% OF THE TIME
UNLESS THEY WANT SOMETHING.'

They ONLY care how it feels to do XYZ if it was being done to them. 
BUT I DON'T DO THAT SH*T TO THEM. 

It gets to the point I lose my f*cking patience with people
WHO CAN'T SEE WHAT I'M TELLING THEM
OR WHY I'VE BEEN TELLING THEM
OR WHY I EVEN TOLD THEM
IN THE FIRST PLACE.

AND THEY TRY TO TREAT IT LIKE
I AM TRYING TO DO SOMETHING TO THEM FFS.
OR THAT I WOULD.

Because why? People putting it in their heads
to think whatever the f*ck about me?

Because they want them to look at me like that?
So they wouldn't want anything to do with me?

Because of jealous females trying to compete.
With someone who's not about that sh*t. 

So I let them think they WON
since that's what they wanted so bad...

AND FUNNY HOW THEY ONLY WANTED IT
BECAUSE I DID LOL.

OR ELSE I'D JUST BE "ALLOWED" TO
WITHOUT ANY INTERFERENCES OR INTERJECTIONS?
Or SABBOTAGE?

They both have themselves to thank and to blame for their sh*t.
Wanted it that bad to try to WIN like it was a competition
AND IT NEVER WAS.

BECAUSE WHAT WAS IT? A CHOICE.
NOT HERS. NOT MINE. 

But funny how even when you get what you thought you wanted, 
you don't end up happy, eh?

If he really wants THAT, he can have THAT.
I don't, and that's MY choice. Right?

Like it'd be his choice NOT to have THAT.
Not THAT'S choice.

And THAT as in, that BS.
All the things I listed that I've been tired of.
For like 2 decades.
Could they stop? Will they? Ever?
That'd be awesome.
Thanks in advance 2025!

Let's all thank 2025 in advance
AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS!
Never know unless we try, eh?

Thanks, 2025, in advance, for getting people
TO FINALLY REALIZE
WHAT I'VE BEEN SAYING
AND WHY I'VE BEEN SAYING IT.

Thanks, 2025, in advance, for getting people
TO FINALLY SEE
HOW THINGS HAVE BEEN FOR ME, 
BECAUSE OF THEM. 

Thanks, 2025, in advance, for anyone
who wants to slam the door in their own face.

Thanks, 2025, in advance, for people
who aren't about doing xyz
because they are mature enough
not to do xyz.

Thanks, 2025, in advance, for not being like 2024, 
or the LAST DECADE, (PLEASE).

Imagine another lockdown and all the weed stores close?
They had the liquor stores open, I sh*t you not. 

Wanna know something about the weed store?
I was joking with the guy who works there
about people grabbing him by the shirt
and "shaking him around"
because a lot of the time, 
they're out of stock lol. 

So he told me about the dude who waited for him
to leave the weed store, to go home, after work, 
and tried to run him off the road with a truck, on his bike.

All because the dude came in, right at closing
and the system shuts down, completely
because it's illegal to sell it after 11pm
or something stupid like that.

I know... Pot shops should be open 24/7
*sarcasm*

But in that case, it wasn't the guy's fault.
And to wait for someone to leave, 
to follow them in a truck, 
try to run them off the road, etc.
OVER MARIJUANA?

Seems the places that do pretty well are the weed stores. 
Which is why we have so many of them. 

I went into one before pot actually became legalized...
They had booths set up so you could roll it up and smoke it there lol. 

People could get high just being in there lol. 

Anyway, wasn't the point. 

My point was:
OVER MARIJUANA?

There are people who talk about all the "strands"
and their whateverness...

Because they're that into it.

And working at a weed store, 
you gotta know about all the kinds of weed.

And when I ask for "premilled"
they ask what kind? 
And they tell me what kinds there are, 
I just go with the least expensive one.

Because IT'S JUST WEED.
And some people would be "gasp! it's not JUST weed..."
Like some people would be "gasp! it's not JUST wine..."

If you smoke it and get high, isn't that good enough?
So why do I need Purple Alien VS Pink Lemonade?
Do I care what the difference is?

Will it get me high? Yeah? Okay. 
But that only goes for weed...
Which I'm about to take a break from. 

Because why? I don't need it.
If I want to get high, I could do it socially. 
But, do I need to get high? No.

Anyway, sometimes it feels like it
gets to a point, like why do I even get high?
why do I do this? Why do I do that?

What's the point of getting high?
What was the point of getting drunk?
Drunk off my @ss drunk.
What was the point of it?

And then you wonder why do I do xyz?
Because you didn't have to, but you did.

Like the dude who was huffing spraypaint
at the back of the bus...

He was denied service after that, 
on that particular bus, at least.

If I can remember right, he was asked to get off the bus, 
and he did without causing a scene.

He didn't have to huff spraypaint at the back of the bus.
But did he? He most definitely did.

People who definitely did what they definitely did, 
definitely did the things they definitely did.

Mirror smasher, head puncher, spraypaint huffer...
Although, he didn't do anything TO me, 
he definitely huffed that, 
at the back of a bus.

That I was on.