For A Reason

Started organizing again. It's been a process...
Part of why I don't tend to go shopping much anymore.
I already have a lot of things. 

Stuff I have to organize etc.

Anyway, going through my stuff on my desk, 
I found an email address of someone
who I thought I wouldn't be able to contact again. 

At first, when I saw the email address...
Something kept gnawing at me to send an email. 
I did, just recently...

Maybe he'll have some advice
about the web project I'm working on. 

Also, it'd be cool to collaborate on something. 

That's what I'd really love to do, is to collab. 
On a serious web project
with someone who'd actually be serious about it.

Web project, community project, writing project, 
those are the types of projects I'd love to collab on. 

It's just hard to find people who think alike in that regard. 
Who would actually take it seriously and be serious about it.

Of course people are always allowed to change their minds. 
About working together. 
Even business type of relationships...
Sometimes you really wanted it to work out, but it didn't. 

Sometimes people can think, somewhat along the same lines, 
but aren't compatible of working, living, or being together.

Even if you care about the person, you both know that
"it's not going to work."
And that is okay. 
Not everything has to work, right?

I found my sandpaper....
I bought some because I was going to get back
into carving, soap stone, again...
Maybe, eventually. 

My friend said I could have the set of bits
for my dremmel, but I gave him most of it.
Most of the stone I had and I bet he hasn't
really even thought about carving. 

I asked him if he'd help me revigorate some furniature. 
There's something I'd like reinforced, and painted. 

That's the great thing about having dude friends.
"Can you help me out with doing this?"
And if they have the time, they might. 

I know he has particular carpentry skills. 
And art skills... 
Which is why I gave my stone to him
to try to get him into carving. 

Been years since I carved anything, 
but I've made pipes. 
And he and I were going to go into it together, 
that we'd both carve some and he'd drill them. 
That he'd drill the stems and connect the stems
to the bowls. 

Anyway, that's what I got the sandpaper for, 
and I'm still going to use the extremely fine sandpaper
for polishing. That's my favorite part, 
because if you really do a detailed job with it, 
you can get the stone as smooth as glass, 
and all the SPECKS in the stone will come out, 
and it'll be beautiful. 

He wants me to see if I can get his dog's fur spun. 
But I said that if he can get it spun, I'd knit him a hat
from his dog's fur lol. 


A good friend of mine took me to get wings last night. 
He picked a place I'd been to only once, 
but apparently wings night is a hit, there, 
and I can see why. 

We got 4 pounds of wings, 2 pounds each. 
We caught some of the hockey games...
I don't know who won any of them... 
We were there to just eat and go lol. 

After, we got our wings boxed up to go
and drove around for a while. 

He talked about the rockets being launched by X. 
Starhopper etc. 

He even had to play me a few videos about 
the rockets launching and explained to me
how the engine has two compartments.
One has liquified oxygen in it, 
the other part has fuel in it. 

The place had a lot of people, drinking, 
and there for the hockey. 

Dallas playing Toronto, 
NY playing Montreal

And I think there was even a third game. 
Hard to tell, there were like 20 screens...
I shit you not. That many. 

12 along the back wall... 
And in each booth there was one. 

It's a sports bar so yeah... 

The way my friend asked me if I'd been
keeping up with the latest rocket launches etc...

As thought EVERYONE KEEPS UP WITH THEM.
And he seems surprised that I hadn't. 

I was pretty much saying "Seeing one rocket launch, 
is like seeing another."

That's when he had to play the videos for me. 
So I could see these new fancy rockets we have, now. 

And these are the rockets that are supposedly
going to take us to colonize Mars or something like this...


I was kinda high and I said to my friend:
Imagine if aliens somehow hikacked all the screens
and started talking to us, through them?

He looked at me like I need help lol. 

I was just thinking about it, as a scenario. 
How weird that'd be. Just, suddenly....


"We are your leaders now. You must obey our orders."
Through the 20 screens in the sports bar. 
Directed to us, and everyone there...

That'd be weird, eh?
That's probably why he gave me that look 
and hesitated an answer lol. 

Anyway, I feel good about the organizing I did, today, 
and I sewed in some ends on one project.
I did two of the 8 blocks that I joined together...
Of the other squares that were with the 70s squares.
I just did a border around a block of 5 and made 8 blocks of 5.
I had 40 of those squares and I have a lot of beige. 

The squares came with beige, which I used as much of
that I could use to join them together, 
and to do the borders for the blocks. 

So it's all joined together. 
All I need to do is sew the ends in. 

So there's that one, and I need to sew in the ends
on the one I made with the squares I made.
I joined them together with a dark border, 
and I'll have to work on that during daylight hours
just to be able to see it well enough to sew the ends in. 

Black and dark blue... These colors are harder to work with
because it gets hard to see the stitches.
I need to be able to see them, to sew the ends
because I sew the ends
into the backs of the stitches.

Apart from that, there are a few other things, 
that I have that I can donate next meeting. 

And one of the ladies gave me the squares from
one of her projects, she made an awesome sweater, 
all squares sewn together.

Anyway, the sleeves would have been too long
if she had added the squares to the sleeves, 
so she gave the squares to me to do something with, 
which I will, eventually. 

I have these two nearly finished projects
to finish and gtfo of here lol. 

The one that is 8 blocks of 5, I'll call it
"the caramel" blanket because it has those tones. 
And it has white. 

Anyway, THAT one, I don't mind working on. 
Over the last one... 

And the one I did, I'm happy it'll be done soon, too. 

I was organizing my magazines in my desk... 
I found a few patterns I had been thinking about, 
that I was hoping I still had...

This is why I hold onto things... 

Like that sandpaper, I knew I had some. 
Those patterns, I knew there could be a chance. 

And it feels better to have some things, 
more organized. 

My friends joke that there's a "method" to it.
That I mostly know where things are, etc. 

The ones who've seen my place...
I just want to organize tf out of EVERYTHING, 
DEEP CLEAN like I was supposed to be doing
for the past couple of weeks. 

Even the progress I've made, the last week or so, 
I know I can still do better, much better. 

Which is true, I can, but at least I've done something. 
I started early, today. So I actually made some progress. 
At least it sort of feels like some. 
I know there is somewhat of a difference, 
just that there's just, stuff. 

Anyway, at least it's 'organized' stuff.

What I noticed at the sorts bar is a lot of bros out with their bros.
"Bros night."

A day between Momday blah and Humpday. 

I asked my friend if he would go with me
to the open mic night and listen to my
horrible guitar playing. 

I said AFTER his exams because I know that's
been on his mind. 
He has to take exams for work every three years. 


Obviously, being work-related, it's important. 
So AFTER that, then it'd be cool if he joins me.

Also, it'll give me more time to "practice."

Also, a few more rows of this other things I've got going...
I'll call it "the unicorn" one because it's got light shades, 
pinks, yellow, white, light blue, peach...

Anyway, this one, I got s bunch more wool
from last meeting for this project.

There's still lots to choose from and work with,
but I just want to get these ones out of the way
before I get into anything, else. 

I think I might use the tabs for the blue bag I made. 
I want to add to it, doesn't feel "done."

Other than that, and I don't know why, 
I picked up 12oz of cotton
without anything in mind for it.

I love working with cotten, btw, 
and a few other ones...

It's a tactile thing. Hard to explain. 
There's a tactile museum in Toronto, supposedly. 

The lady told me there's a loom there. 

But if I could just weave, all day, 
and just... That. 

Crocheting and knitting still have their appeals, 
but weaving seems to have its own. 

It'd be another way to bust my stash. 

At the last meeting, we were allowed to go
into the yarn room two at a time...

That's where I picked up the colors to add
to this one. The one I have on my lap...
Stitching in between typing. 


A few rows here and there...
Until it's "done."
I am giving it 30 more rows to see where it is
from there and I'll use up
the colors that I took for it, 
to finish it up.

Then it'll be tf outta here!

I'll probably make some socks
and stuff like that...

I found a pattern for "easy" gloves.

It's knit in one piece and sewn around...
And the cuff is added afterwards.

A couple of videos I saw recently
that are kinda stuck in my head...

One was a 12 year old escaped his abusive mother
and the investigation footage of him
and his siblings, 
it was so freaking wild. 

That one and one where a group of male teens
decided to k1ll one of their own. 

And the interogation of the one who
told the detectives EVERYTHING,
THAT WAS WILD.
HOW NONCHALLANT
THIS KID WAS
ABOUT TALKING ABOUT
WHAT HE PARTICIPATED IN...

People in the comments were calling him a psychopath
because he wasn't really showing any emotions about it, 
just talking about all the facts
like it was just another day...

He was one of the lesser sentences
because he had a lesser involvement
than the others
and without him, 
they didn't really have the others. 
They needed his testimony. 
Against the other guys, 
who actually did 99% of it.

Had even ONE of the guys backed out
AND CALLED THE COPS
BEFORE IT EVEN GOT TO THAT POINT,
THE DUDE'D STILL BE ALIVE.

ONE OUT OF SIX.
JUST ONE.

That one has to be one of the most disturbing
interrogations I've seen in a while.
There were two others that were just as disturbing, 
if not, more...

To be that heartless to do that to someone...
When it could have been them...

And people have trust issues as it is....

The dudes were supposedly his friends. 
Guys he hung out with, drank with etc. 

It's the kind of video you watch twice
to see if the second time is as crazy as the first.

Stuff sticks in your head, like that forensics class I had. 
Those images... You can't unsee that stuff. 
Just like you can't unwatch that stuff. 
You can't unhear it... 
You can't unknow it.

Can't go back before you saw it, watched it, 
heard it, knew it...

And not only that, it sits in your brain, 
and tugs here and there.

"Remember when the prof showed that...."
Then THAT inflates on the memory scrreen...
stomach churns... Grossness flashes...
Flashbacks... 

I think about all kinds of things that have happened, 
cases that come up, randomly.

I haven't been actively looking for cases, 
just when you see one crime video, 
they start to flood across your "feed" or whatever...

Mostly been tired and catching up on rest, though.
If I can even sleep after the details of these cases. 
I bet the investigators felt that way. 

One of them had a son the same age as the one
they decided that they wanted to "take out."

That hits pretty close to home, y'know?
Not only right in your own backyard, 
but to someone the same age as your own child?



What bothers me is that we never really know
what's going on in people's heads. 
He went to school with these guys, saw them all the time etc. 
I bet he never, in a thousand years, the guys would
betray him, like that.

And using the word betray VERY lightly. 
Wayyy more than a betrayal. 

But, people he knew or thought he knew...