Went Premium

The guy's domain expired and I was just going to buy it back, 
and get the hosting connected and try to salvage
what we could of the site we had. 

When I went to buy back the domain, 
it went premium ffs.

It'd cost over 1k to buy it back. 

And he's upset that his site's not
magically back online
and trying to explain to him why it isn't. 

And why I can't just magically fix that.

And I had to tell him what just happened
about them raising it to 1k.

When it goes back to retail cost. 
1 year after that. 
For whoever buys it at 1k. 

And I sure as hell don't have 1k. 

I don't even have half of that...


So I'm going to have to talk him into getting the .ca
instead of the .com that we had before. 

Because that's the only way we can have
the closest we had before to what we had before. 

And then I'll have to work on this
trying to fix this all weekend
when I really have a lot on my plate right now. 

A lot! Last thing I need is to go through this again. 
The first time was... Hectic. 

And people who think you can just snap your fingers
and just make it happen
when it doesn't work like that...

WILL TRY TO GET ON YOUR CASE ABOUT IT.

PEOPLE GETTING ON MY CASE ABOUT ANYTHING,
GET ON MY CASE.

AND I GET TO A POINT THAT I HAVE TO TELL THEM.
THAT I'M NOT A MAGIC WHATEVER-TF.

TOO USED TO INSTANT GRATIFICATION
TO REALIZE SOME THINGS TAKE TIME.
TO GET DONE
LET ALONE DO.

And you try to tell them the reason.

They either didn't hear you or weren't listening. 
BUT STILL EXPECT YOU TO JUST DO IT.
TO MAKE THEM HAPPY.
TO HAVE WHAT THEY WANT.
HOW AND WHEN THEY WANT IT.
BUT IT DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY.


When I got back from my mother's, I checked my messages.
That guy who I'm fixing the website for...

He was saying things like:

"Last time I saw you, you were looking slim and beautiful.
Can you make your hair long?"

I wear my hair up and out of my way.
I DON'T LIKE THAT HE WANTS ME TO
WEAR MY HAIR DOWN. 

MAYBE I WANT TO WEAR MY HEAR UP.
FOR A REASON.

AND IF I WAS A DUDE, 
HE WOULDN'T BE SAYING THESE THINGS TO ME.

Y'know? Just treat me like a person. 
NOT A FEMALE
YOU WANT TO SEE WITH HER HAIR DOWN FFS.

Like what do you have to say to a guy
TO ACTUALLY MAKE HIM STOP
LOOKING AT YOU LIKE THAT?

BECAUSE I'D LIKE TO SAY IT
BEFORE IT EVER GOES THERE.

AND THEY SHOULD KNOW BETTER
THAN TO GO THERE
OR EVEN TRY TO. 

BECAUSE IF I WAS INTERESTED, 
I'D MAKE THAT KNOWN. 

INSTEAD OF THIS BS. 
I'M TIRED OF IT. 


Anyway, my mom came up for a name
a domain name and we went over hex codes. 
And wrote down the colors she likes from there.

We're planning on something to work on. 

Then I have to try to fix that other one...
And I had to change the domain because they put it up to 1K.
Right before Christmas? Get real. 

It's literally the guy's name. 
How can someon'e name go premium?

Anyway, it's bs. 

But so is that guy looking at me like that.
And I have to have some talk with this guy about it.
AGAIN. 

BECAUSE I HAVE TOLD HIM BEFORE.
I DON'T WANT WHAT HE WANTS.

WHEN HE BROUGHT UP MARRIAGE FFS.

HE WANTS ME TO WANT WHAT HE WANTS.
I WANT TO WANT WHAT I WANT. 
WHAT I WANT IS FOR HIM TO STOP.

Just because you agreed to help someone with one thing
DOES'T MEAN THEY GET TO TRY TO
GET YOU TO PUT YOUR HAIR DOWN, EVEN. 

No. I'll leave my hair up, like I always do. 
Or just shave it off again?

Part of the reason I did, was this sh*t. 
This kind of sh*t. 


Also, I just wanted to. 
It grows back. It feels nice. 

And I didn't get this sh*t.
SHOULD I LIE AND TELL HIM I'M 'GAY'?

Or should I ask him if he would do that to others.
And if he says no, just say don't to me.

Any suggestions?
To drive the point home?
So that I don't have to keep saying it?

AND HOW TO HANDLE HIM
IF HE GETS MAD?

"Dude, just look at me like a person. 
ONLY HERE FOR THIS ONE THING, PERIOD." 

IS THAT SO HARD?
WHY CAN'T THEY DO JUST THAT?

The way things have been going
WITH ALL THE BS 
TURNING ME OFF...

I DON'T WANT ANYTHING, PERIOD. 
Why would I?

This sh*t bothers me. 
I try to laugh it off, but if I was a dude, 
dude's wouldn't try ANYTHING WITH ME.

THE DUDES WHO TRY THAT SH*T.
IN THE MOST UNCOMFORTABLE WAYS.

THINKING IT'S OKAY.
TO DO THAT. 

AND ONLY CARING AND THINKING ABOUT
WHAT THEY WANT. 
NOT WHAT I WANT.

WHICH IS TO NOT... JUST DON'T. 
AND OFTEN, IT'S HARD FOR ME TO BE NICE ABOUT IT
BECAUSE I HAVE TO BE VERY DIRECT.
AND WHEN I AM DIRECT ABOUT IT. 
IT'S EITHER THEY'LLL HAVE TO ACCEPT THAT.

OR THEY'LL KEEP TRYING. 
AND IT'S NOT RIGHT.

AND HAVING TO TELL THEM
MORE THAN ONCE.

A BUNCH OF THINGS...


Anyway, I went to the library, today. 
To return the book to the Library. 

I picked up another book. 
I don't know why I did it.
Just to keep one in "the chamber"?

See what I did there?

Just a little laugh, okay?
Nothing wrong with it.


On another note, a friend actually got a couple of goats.
He just chills with the goats and his dog in the house lol. 

STILL HASN'T HAD ME OVER.
AFTER SAYING WHEN HE TALKS TO ME
"I'LL HAVE TO HAVE YOU OVER HERE
'SOME TIME.'"

WHEN? ANOTHER YEAR FROM NOW?

BUT WHEN ANYONE WANTED ANYTHING 
FROM ME....

Just would be nice to FINALLY see your new place, eh?
SINCE MANY PEOPLE ALREADY HAVE.


Anyway, just bugs me
to be told OVER AND OVER AND OVER
"SOME TIME."

I'm going to tell him he only gets 20 more
"some times."

AFTER THAT, I DON'T WANT TO.

BECAUSE HE COULD JUST SAY:
"HEY LET'S DO SOMETHING."

WAITING UNTIL NEXT SUMMER?
AND WILL I EVEN SEE YOU THEN?
EITHER?


I'd like for him to just be like:
"I haven't seen A*** for over a year, 
I keep telling her I'm going to have her up here.
AND THEN I DIDN'T."

F*CKED UP TO DO, THOUGH.

Anyway, I'm tired of waiting for people
TO FINALLY MAKE PLANS
JUST TO SEE EACH OTHER.

IF THEY WANTED TO, THEY WOULD.

But I stopped calling and reaching out, 
and people would rather "poke" me on fb
THAN ASK ME HOW I'M DOING?
SAYING HELLO?

THEY HAVE MY NUMBER.
IT HASN'T CHANGED IN OVER A DECADE.

That's what bothers me, too. 


Anyway, I was thinking about a near future project. 

A site about dog stuff. I want to see if I can program
the buttons to "bark" on click. With javascript lol. 

And if I can manage to pull it off, 
I'll know how to do it for other sites. 

It'll be a busy month. So we'll see, I guess.