Strange that Alberta's got snow already,
and my cousin made a joke about shoveling on FB.
Maybe we'll get snow soon. December coming.
A couple of days away, actually.
Aaron Gunn did a doc called Fractured Nation.
About the equalization payments to Quebec
from the western provinces...
And how Quebec has cheaper electricity than the rest of us...
Again, I'm not hating on Quebec,
just to be "fair" they'd cultivate their own resources
and stop taking equalization payments.
As far as I know, they are the only province that does.
Quebec has natural resources.
SO WHY DO THEY NEED MONEY
FROM ALBERTA?
And yes, I get why Alberta's been p*ssed off.
Not only with Quebec, but the government in general.
They were saying, the "reporters" were saying...
That this tax break...
It'd be saving $260 if you spend $2k.
ONLY ON SELECT ITEMS.
I guess I'm just taking a break from stuff tonight.
If I get into working on something, tonight,
I'll stay up all night, again.
I have something to do tomorrow.
I'll see if I can actually do it.
Because I told the guy to make sure
that his computer is charged so that I can use it.
I don't want to take this one with me.
BECAUSE HE'LL EXPECT ME TO DO THAT
EACH TIME...
AND I RISK DAMAGING IT SOMEHOW
AND THIS IS THE ONLY ONE I HAVE.
So if his isn't charged, I have to ask him
to get off his @ss and go to the library with me.
To just do the thing that I've been trying to
JUST GET DONE FFS.
ONCE IT IS DONE,
I WON'T HAVE TO KEEP DOING IT
OR KEEP TRYING TO DO IT.
Then, the guy wants to switch his payment plan
to pay annually instead of monthly.
I told the company this.
And we have the time to do that.
The one thing we need to do
IS TIME SENSITIVE.
AND TRYING TO EXPLAIN THAT TO THE GUY...
It seems a lot of people don't listen.
He brought up dating again.
AFTER I TOLD HIM THAT I DON'T WANT TO.
He was talking marriage last time.
THE ANSWER DOESN'T CHANGE THE MORE YOU ASK.
HE ASKED, I ANSWERED.
Like the guy who wanted to kiss me.
I said no, I don't want to kiss etc...
And he got mad.
JUST RESPECT THAT I DON'T WANT TO.
I WOULD HAVE TO RESPECT THAT
IF HE DIDN'T WANT TO.
SO WHY IS IT DIFFERENT WHEN I DON'T?
BECAUSE IT DOESN'T MATTER?
WHAT I WANT AND WHAT I DON'T?
And the guy who said he wanted to get to know me
but when he brought up wanting FWB, I said no.
AND BECAUSE THAT'S ALL THAT HE WANTED
AND I ALREADY SAID NO,
I'M NOT WORTH THE TIME TO GET TO KNOW.
Just a bunch of sh*t like that.
BECAUSE APPARENTLY
THEY ONLY THINK ABOUT WHAT THEY WANT.
And it hasn't just been those guys...
WHEN I ALREADY TELL YOU
THAT I DO NOT WANT TO DATE YOU
OR SLEEP WITH YOU,
JUST LEAVE IT THERE. Y'know?
It's my choice.
JUST LIKE THOSE JEALOUS GIRLS
TRYING TO SPY, STALK, THREATEN ETC
LYING ABOUT ME, TRYING TO MANIPULATE HIM.
TO GO AGAINST ME FFS.
WHEN HE LITERALLY HAD NO REASON TO BE.
WHY WOULD I GIVE HIM A REASON?
IF THEY EXPECT ME TO FIGHT OVER
SOMEONE WHO CAN'T SEE MY WORTH ETC...
THAT HE HAD NO REASON TO TURN ON ME.
ESPECIALLY THE WAY HE DID...
It was literally HIS CHOICE, NOT THEIRS.
But I'm no longer a choice!
Because I made a choice.
I WAS FORCED INTO MAKING THAT CHOICE.
Because I stayed long enough for them to see
ANYTHING ABOUT ME...
But when someone wants to try to keep them confused...
Intentionally, about me...
WITH PROJECTIONS...
Who am I to try to pull their head out of their @ss
AND TRY TO FORCE THEIR EYES OPEN
FOR THEM TO SEE THAT THEY ARE DOING THAT?
AND SEE WHY THEY SHOULDN'T LET THEM DO IT.
WHAT I WAS SAYING THE WHOLE TIME...
AND WHY I WAS SAYING IT.
If they can't or won't see that, any point?
Would you waste your time trying to do that?
Eyes Wide Shut... I haven't seen that movie, yet.
Many movies I haven't seen yet.
I can't remember the year that I stopped caring
ABOUT BEING UP TO DATE
WITH THE LATEST MOVIE.
There are a couple of theaters that still have shows...
They shoe films, not movies.
Films, to me, are different from movies.
In a way that I can't quite put into words,
but they are different, to me.
I bet when I show up, tomorrow,
the guy's going to have forgotten we were supposed to meet.
I have to try, again, to explain why we need to use a computer
AND WHY I NEED HIM TO BE PRESENT
WHEN I DO THAT
SO THAT HE CAN CONFIRM THINGS ON HIS PHONE.
LIKE CHANGING THE PASSWORD.
SO THAT WE CAN JUST DO THAT ONE THING.
He wants me to help him with YouTube.
I TOLD HIM HE SHOULD USE A MICROPHONE
FOR HIS VIDEOS
AND ASK SOMEONE ELSE TO HELP HIM
TO RECORD THE VIDEOS WITH HIM.
And that I would upload his videos on YouTube
and put them on his website.
I asked him to ask someone else to do that for him
BECAUSE IF HE EXPECTS ME TO DO IT
EVEN AFTER I TOLD HIM
THAT I HAVE OTHER STUFF GOING ON...
LIKE AS A PLOY TO TRY TO SPEND MORE TIME TOGETHER...
I won't want to continue working with him.
As it is, I'm trying to REMIIND HIM
THAT HE ALREADY ASKED ME.
He literally propositioned me, once.
WAS HE EXPECTING ME TO JUST BE COOL WITH THAT?
JUST BECAUSE HE WANTED ME TO BE?
HE BROUGHT UP DATING, AGAIN
BECAUSE HE DOESN'T SEEM TO WANT TO
ACCEPT THAT I ALREADY SAID NO.
Why would I want to "get down with" a 70+ year old?
HE OFFERED ME $50 WTF.
THE FACT THAT I'M STILL HELPING HIM WITH THIS STUFF
AFTER THAT FACT...
HE SHOULD CONSIDER HIMSELF LUCKY.
That I even bothered at all.
BECAUSE WHY? I NEVER HAD TO.
But it's like people seem to expect
TO GET WHAT THEY WANT.
At least he hasn't talked about living together for a while.
Because if we lived together, he'd have more "access" to me.
WHICH IS WHY HE WANTS TO LIVE WITH ME.
I kind of want to have someone to introduce him to
so that he can take over from me.
SO I DON'T HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT CRAP.
Maybe I should feel flattered to some degree.
BUT I JUST WANTED TO BE LOOKED AT AS A PERSON.
NOT AS SOME FEMALE
THEY MIGHT BE ABLE TO TALK INTO
DOING SOMETHING THAT THEY WANT
BESIDES ANYTHING RELATED TO BUSINESS.
I'm talking about the personal stuff. Business aside.
IT F*CKING BOTHERS ME.
MAYBE EVEN MORE THAN IT SHOULD.
WOULD HE HAVE OFFERED $50 TO SOME DUDE?
Would the guy who got mad at me because I didn't want to kiss him...
WOULD HE HAVE WANTED TO KISS ME
IF I WAS A DUDE?
Only because I'm a female, right?
THAT IS WHAT BUGS ME.
I'M NOT PUT HERE FOR ANYONE'S GRATIFICATION.
TO HELP THEM FULFILL WHATEVER WEIRD
FANTASY THAT THEY MADE UP.
Sometimes it'd be just easier to be a dude
TO AVOID ANY CREEPY WEIRD LUSTY
GROSSNESS.
AND GETTING MAD WHEN I SAY NO.
Ever seen that show called "Fatal Attraction"?
I think about that show, sometimes.
It's like, I can't hide the fact that I'm a female.
EVEN WHEN I DRESS LIKE A DUDE.
IT GETS TO THE POINT THAT IT'S UNCOMFORTABLE.
SO WHY WOULD I DRESS "UP" AND WEAR "MAKEUP"?
Anyway, I just thought about something, but it slipped...
I've got to go to bed earlier tonight.
It's cold anyway, hopefully won't feel it while asleep...
With my 3 pairs of socks...
Socks are important.
Since the feet are the furthest from the heart.
When my hands are cold, my instinct is to tuck them
under my legs...
But, once, I told my grandmother that she could
heat her hands by tucking them under her arms.
Because that's closer to the heart.
Either works.
It was so cold in here during the summer,
I had to go outside to warm up.
A friend has set my thermostat thing
when he was here...
But it got so damn cold in here.
And then, it went up to like summer temps
so another guy turned it down.
I don't know how it went from 10 to 30
because I didn't touch it.
Then, it got cold again and the heat wasn't on.
Back when we had a storm, I guess one of our last ones.
It was soooo quiet...
When none of the electric things are even humming...
You can't hear the electricity at all,
because you can hear it...
We're just so used to hearing it it's like we just don't
"actively" hear it.
Kind of like living next to a highway.
You always "hear" it, if you "let" yourself hear it.
Because it doesn't stop.
But you can get into other things, and just not actively hear it.
I can tell by the "water on wheels" sound if it's raining
without looking outside.
The only time it was actually quiet was during lockdown.
The covid lockdown (as if there's been any others lol)
Being at home a lot of the time, being on "lockdown"
didn't get to me or bother me.
There wasn't much of a difference, to my life.
During that time...
Some people went through it,
but losing my sh*t due to "cabin fever"
wasn't anything that affected me.
Rarely do I see an accident on the highway.
I remember one, though.
A guy in a jeep got cut off on the onramp
to get onto the highway
and his jeep flipped. He died.
I remember seeing all the cops and an ambulance,
but there wasn't anything anyone could do.
He was gone.
I think that was in 2009 or 2010.
I still think about that guy.
Did you hear about the "cricket farm"?
It was supposedly to get people to stop eating meat
and to switch to crickets instead.
Well Canada had this massive initiative,
but it hasn't had the "effect" they thought it would.
And they had to fire 70% of the staff..
Trying to "normalize" it, though..
It is being said that crickets are being "snuck" into our food.
Like they'll have other names for it.
I haven't heard a lot about it,
but "deceitfully including crickets"
THE CRICKET "PROCESSING" PLANT...
RECEIVED 8.5M from the government...
Anyway, I'm starting to get tired.
Good night.
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