Allowed To Succeed

I'm up before my alarm, which is rare.
Usually, I hit snooze for an hour lol.

If you've heard about the 25% tariff thing, 
It's because terrorists are trying to get into the US
from Canada and they shouldn't even be here.

Like more than from Mexico trying to get into the US.

I bet a lot of them are here because they claimed "asylum."

It'll be interesting to see how Canada's going to deal with
the deportation stuff.

Because it's been said that they'll probably try to come here.
I don't know how many people who said they'd move here
because of Trump... Actually did.
They were saying that last time, too.

Part of me thinks that it's an empty threat.

Just like JT thinks about the tariff thing.
He thinks it's a "suggestion" and he even said that on air.

If every province protected the border of their province, maybe.
Our border is wider than the US border to Mexico.

But America invests in things like that.

I have heard that one of the problematic borders
is the border between Quebec and NY.

There was a doc I saw about it. 
I forget who made it or what it was called, 
but it was a good one.

But since I saw that doc, seen some other stuff.
One was an interview by a farmer whose farm's
right on the border.
He was saying that people keep crossing on his property
and that he can't "stop" them all. 

Imagine if Canada invested more in our military?
It's embarrassing how ill-equipped they are.
Outdated stuff.

Did you hear about that jet we were supposed to get?
They cancelled the contract.
And then we ended up paying a cancellation fee or something.
So we ended up paying MORE than the contract itself.
AND WE DIDN'T GET A JET!

Meanwhile, JT takes a jet to Brazil...
While speaking out one side of his mouth
about the "cost on pollution"
WHILE ADDING TO THE POLLUTION.

Seems more interested in adding tampons
to male washrooms FFS.

And gave money to "Pride" groups.
Because why not BUY VOTES?

The tax break is just a drop.
Certain "products" shouldn't have tax at all.

But whatever. Have to have money to "waste" right?

I try not to talk politics with some people.
I brought it up in my knitting group, once.
THEY ARE ALL LIBS.

My mom's cousin voted in NS.
She was saying the conservatives got in, 
"Unfortunately."

I don't know what that election would be.
Provincial?

I thought that we all had provincial elections
on the same days, but I guess that's a federal election.

I was in BC during an election, once.
They wouldn't let me vote in another province
other than the province I'm in.

And senseless to just go back, just to vote.

I know people who have never voted.
Because they say that either way, 
whoever gets in could "screw us over."

I use "could" loosely.
It's not just could... Let's just put it that way.
They have the "power" to do it.
And JT has. That's why he's not our favorite person. 

During the riots in Montreal, he was at the Taylor Swift concert.

I was going to say "In his defense, he was there with his daughter."
BUT HE WAS THERE.

Maybe that's why the tent city was "temporarily removed"
Didn't want his daughter to see that...
Maybe he didn't want to see it, either.

OR THE HOMELESS COULD SEE HIM. 

FUNNY HOW HE WENT INTO HIDING
DURING THE TRUCKER RALLY
BUT DOESN'T GO INTO HIDING FOR A CONCERT LOL.

MAKES ME THINK: WHAT OTHER CONCERTS DID HE GO TO?
ON THE TAX PAYERS' DIME, EVEN.

Anyway, maybe I should make another cup of tea...

I got some specialty tea. It came in a memorial tin box.
In memory of Queen Elizabeth.

Queen Elizabeth was in Kenya when she became Queen.
I heard that from a guy from Kenya.

That was back in the 50s.
I saw videos about it, they are on YT.

He wanted to put these videos on his website.

I should back up his website. 
Just in case. It took me a while to get it
to where it is now, and I don't want to start again. 

Because it'll be even more time.
That I want to allocate to my own stuff...

If his domain does expire, I can just ask him to make a new account
and then we'll buy it back from the "expiry purgatory" lol. 

I had to do that with other domains.

Because I forgot to renew them.
And they expired. 

I've been trying to talk my friend
into making a site about computers.

He has the knowledge to do that.
Even to make some "courses" about it.

And another friend about his art.
I gave him my soapstone, in hopes he'd start carving.
He's an artist. He's good.

Just that when I make suggestions...
It seems that people don't even THINK about
anything I suggested.

They just automatically dismiss it.

Like my stepfather. He was saying how
"nobody" reads blogs anymore lol. 

Tell that to the 60K + views I got in 1 month. 
I don't advertise this blog. 

Even embarrassed about 99.9% of my posts...

And I wish I didn't tell my ex about it.
At the time, we were dating.
And it felt like keeping a secret from him.
And maybe I thought he could "know me better"
through my writing...

He told me that offline me and online me
are like night and day.

Easier to express myself in writing.
MAYBE BECAUSE WHEN I SPEAK
PEOPLE EASILY AND USUALLY
DISMISS ME.

And I don't want to constantly
WASTE MY WORDS
ON PEOPLE WHO WON'T LISTEN.
OR CARE ABOUT ANYTHING I HAVE TO SAY.

They seem to look at me like:
"Why would she have anything worthwhile to say?"

Not that I blog about anything worthwhile, 
but thanks for visiting.

I still have those 70's granny squares to join. 
Just when I thought I'd be done with them, 
I found more in the bag. 
So I almost have enough to make another block. 
Not exactly thrilled about it. 

I even rolled my eyes before writing the last sentence lol. 
See how thrilled I am?

But will be relieved when it's done.
Kind of nauseated looking at it.
I think it's the shade of orange.
Or the color combo. 
I guess there's a reason we aren't about it anymore lol. 

And the left over beige can be used in other things.

I've got a video on for "background noise"
It's a bodycam type video about that OF "model"
who st@bbed her boyfriend...

Her VOICE is making my ears want to "close."

Some female voices just kinda "cringe"
especially when they have that weird
"valley girl" type of inflection
after everything they say...

If I was a dude, it'd be a "deal breaker" for me.

There was a show that has female main characters.
I couldn't get "into" it
because of the way they talk. 

I think it's written that way, for the show, 
just makes it harder to "follow."

It wasn't the "inflection" thing. 
It was something like ( I can't think of the word, it starts with p)
something to do with the rhythm of speech.

If you ever saw the show, 
you'd know what I'm talking about.

I don't even like being "judgmental about it."
I guess it just gets on my nerves.

Don't even like my own voice, though.

One time, someone called me
and asked me if my parents were home.

BECAUSE THEY ASSUMED I AM A KID.
BECAUSE OF MY VOICE.

HARD TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY
WHILE SOUNDING LIKE I'M 12 LOL. 

Maybe my voice didn't "mature."
It'd be funny to sound like a "kid"
when I'm 80 lol. 

Do you think Blogger's going to be around 40 years from now?
And Google?

Well Google's making money hand over fist
with ads and they even sell domains...
And charge for extra storage.

Maybe Google and Amazon will stand the "test of time."
If they don't, I'd be surprised.

Supposedly Amazon started by selling books in their early days
before they opened up to sell all kinds of other stuff. 

Not sure if they're competing with Ebay. 

At least Ebay has auctions...

Which brings me to the next thing... 

It'd be cool if O-Town had an auction site.
There's an auction thing called Rideau something or other.

But I think it's only on-site, not online.

Would be cool to have a live auction thing for this city.

There's an auction site in Edmonton. 
They have live auctions.

I watched one, once, it was pretty cool. 
I think that if you win, you have to go there to pick it up.

I heard about it through a guy on YT.
I wrote about his channel before.

He bought a hoarder's house, and made a series
about cleaning it out and all the things they found in there.

Also, he restored the house and sold it.
Then, all the stuff, he put a bunch of it
on that auction site and made some money there.

I'm sure the auction site makes money from the auctions.
It'd be a good business model. 

Since people bring you stuff.
Don't have to go around looking for and gathering stuff. 

That's what I like about pawn shops, too. 
I wonder how much it costs to start one.

But I realize stuff can happen. 
Like the pandemic where a lot of businesses
had to close because they weren't getting any business.

And I guess JT didn't count on a riot in Montreal...
BUT HE KNOWS THAT THE "RALLIES"
KEEP HAPPENING...

AND NOT SPEAKING ON ANYTHING.

INCLUDING THE BURNING OF OUR FLAG
AND "DEATH TO CANADA."

IF THEY HAD THE "WAGONS"
AND ARRESTED THEM...

THAT WOULD SEND A MESSAGE.
NOT ONLY THAT, BUT DEPORTATION
FOR TREASON, PERIOD. 

You want to act like that HERE?
THEN GO BACK OVER THERE.

I'm not against immigration. 
I'm against of the abuse of the "system"
and p*ssed that the "system" is fooked.

As many Canadians are.

THIS CASE IS P*SSING ME OFF.

SHE WAS ABUSIVE
AND KNEW SHE WAS.
STABBED HIM IN THE LEG, BEFORE
ALL THE STUFF THAT LEAD UP TO HER
ACTUALLY ENDED HIS LIFE.

Probably didn't mean to, 
BUT WHAT DID SHE THINK WAS GOING TO HAPPEN?

SHE LITERALLY WAS SO ENTITLED
THAT SHE THOUGHT SHE WAS JUSTIFIED
IN ASSAULTED HIM... 

And that escalated, obviously. 
Just p*sses me off.

Makes me want to jump through the screen and slap her.

HIM MAKING EXCUSES FOR HIS INJURIES.
AND VIDEO EVIDENCE OF HER MELTOWNS.
LIKE A SPOILT TODDLER.

If I were him, I would have ended it.
Walked away and not looked back.

She's beyond toxic. 

As mad as I've been, ever...
I DON'T HAVE THE RIGHT TO PHYSICALLY
ATTACK ANYONE.

He was slapping him for saying Hi to a neighbor. 
I'd want to knock her out.

Wanted to punch my ex in the head
after he did it to me.

I clocked out from work and left.

I don't know why he got on the same bus as me, but he did.
I just wanted to go home.

When I hear audio of this b*tch screaming at him... 
I want to dropkick her, seriously. 
Or uppercut. 

That's why I show restraint and don't fight much. 
BECAUSE I COULD SERIOUSLY HURT SOMEONE.
BESIDES IT NOT BEING WORTH THAT, 
I KNOW THIS.

HANDLED A LOT OF THINGS WITH RESTRAINT.
WHEN THE PEOPLE I'VE SHOWN RESTRAINT TO
DIDN'T DESERVE IT.

I have restraint, for me, not for them. 

IF OTHERS HAD THE SAME RESTRAINT, 
I WOULDN'T HAVE HAD TO "HANDLE" THEM
WITH RESTRAINT.

THERE WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN ANY
STALKING, SPYING, SLANDERING, THREATS
OR ANY OTHER BS. 

THEY WOULD HAVE LEFT ME TF ALONE.

Did I do that to them, though?
DID I TRY TO INTERJECT
INTO THEIR CONVERSATIONS?

TO MAKE THREATS?

But... HE F*CKING JUSTIFIED THAT.
WOULD HE HAVE JUSTIFIED IT
IF I DID THAT SH*T?

No! I'd have gotten blocked
FOR BEING "PSYCHO."

Dang, this tea is good!
Should be good tea, in a memorial tin. 
I admit, I got it for the tin. 

But of course, I'm gonna drink the tea in it.
Do you drink tea? Or coffee?

Supposedly tea has more caffeine than coffee.
I mostly drink it when I visit my folks for dinner.
We'll have a tea when my stepfather gets back from work, 
and a tea after dinner.

THIS B*TCH ASKED FOR A HUG
IN THE INTERROGATION ROOM
AFTER BEING TOLD
SHE LITERALLY K*LLED HER BF FFS.

LIKE IT WAS ALL ABOUT HER!!!!
LIKE SHE APPARENTLY MADE THEIR RELATIONSHIP.

FEELING THE NEED TO ST@B HIM. FFS.

It bugs me that he even stayed in that relationship.
Kept giving her chances...
INSTEAD OF TELLING HER TO GO F*CK HERSELF. 
SIDEWAYS WITH A SURFBOARD.

She was RECORDED saying she wanted to k*ll him. 
During a "fight."

I DON'T KNOW WHY SHE WASN'T ARRESTED
BECAUSE 2 MONTHS AFTER HE DIED, 
THE COPS WERE CALLED
BECAUSE SHE WAS FREAKING OUT
AT ANOTHER GUY...

And that "issue" was resolved without filing any charges.

SHE SHOULD HAVE BEEN LOCKED UP.
IMMEDIATELY AFTER HER BF DIED
AT HER HANDS.

She went into a "treatment facility"
FOUR MONTHS AFTER HE DIED...

WAS ARRESTED FROM THERE.
SHOULD HAVE BEEN ARRESTED
IN THE INTERROGATION ROOM. 

That p*sses me off, too. 

Even innocent people get thrown into jail.

I'll probably have to bring this computer with me.
I don't want to. I really don't want to.
AND IT'LL P*SS ME OFF
IF WE CAN'T GET INTO THE ACCOUNT
OR CAN'T CHANGE THE PASSWORD.

BECAUSE HE'LL LOOK AT ME LIKE IT'S MY FAULT.
EVEN THOUGH I HAVE TOLD HIM 4 TIMES
WHAT WE NEED TO DO ABOUT IT
AND WHY.

And if I had a "business partner" they'd be able to do this. 
And deal with the guy. 

Most of the time I'm just dreading his advances.
AND HE WOULDN'T DO THAT SH*T TO A DUDE.

SHOULDN'T BE DOING THAT SH*T TO ME.
HE ALREADY KNOWS I'M NOT INTO HIM
AND HE THINKS ASKING ME SOME MORE
MIGHT CHANGE MY MIND, IT WON'T. 

I tried telling him...
Because he'd text me a bunch
and I was using a text app that I wasn't checking 24/7
and when I wasn't responding IMMEDIATELY
HE WAS GETTING MAD!!!

LIKE F*CK RIGHT OFF!
I'M NOT OBLIGED TO IMMEDIATELY
RESPOND TO ANYONE'S MESSAGES.

BUT ESPECIALLY WHEN SOMEONE
FEELS SO ENTITLED THAT THEY GET MAD!!!

I want to pass him on to someone else.

That's not the only reason I'd like to have
someone to work with... But that'd help. 

It'd help me. 

It's like he only asked me because he wanted an excuse
to see me.

Like the guy who brought his cat here.
AND WANTED TO COME OVER
TO SEE HIS CAT.
INSTEAD OF JUST TAKING HER HOME WITH HIM. 

I REALLY DISLIKE THAT "SNEAKY" SH*T. 
MAKING EXCUSES TO SEE ME.

ALSO, IT BOTHERS ME WHEN I START 
TO HAVE OPPORTUNITIES...

AND SOMEONE WANTS TO TRY TO RUIN IT.

LIKE JEALOUS FEMALES WITH THAT BS.
TRYING TO COME IN BETWEEN...
WITH THEIR BS.

And if a guy's going to ALLOW THAT SH*T...
NOT FOR ME, PERIOD.

It's like as soon as I "pass" a certain level
PEOPLE WANTED TO DISTRACT ME
TO TRY TO STOP ME...

LIKE GETTING AN ATTITUDE, EVEN. 

"HOW'S THIS FOR ATTITUDE?"
AND SMASHES MY ANTIQUE MIRROR, 
FAMILY HEIRLOOM...

In "love" I'm not interested in having a "partner"
BECAUSE IT WAS NEVER A PARTNERSHIP. 
I never got to have THAT.

And because of THAT, I'm not interested.

SHOULD BE ABLE TO WORK TOGETHER, 
AS PARTNERS.

SHOULDN'T BE A CHORE TO WORK TOGETHER.

AND SHOULDN'T HAVE TO LOOK TO SEE
IF THEY ARE DOING WHAT THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO.

IT'S LIKE I CAN ONLY BE SUCCESSFUL TO A POINT.
BECAUSE WHEN I SAY I'M WORKING ON ANYTHING
IT'S LIKE THEY DON'T WANT TO JUST ALLOW ME TO.