By The Thongs

Around this time of year, I don't like going to or being at the mall. 
Mentally, it's hard for me to be around that many people.

It's a lot of sensory "stuff."
Too much "energy" in one place.

It lets up around the second week of January.

I only went to pick up some food. 
Going to bed hungry and waking up hungry...
And trying to sleep while hungry...

I've got enough food for a week or so.
I just really don't like the mall around this time of year.

It's ridiculous. Christmas shoppers.
By the time this tax break comes, 
most people will get the "savings"
only if they haven't already done their shopping. 

Doing Christmas shopping MONTHS in advance, 
lets you avoid all that ridiculousness. 

I wanted to get something at the food court., 
but when I saw the chaos, it was a "hard nope."

What I did manage to pick up, though, 
I'm sticking to just that, because I just...

It's just kinda stressful. 
I just enjoyed a ting! Love that stuff.

And of course, I got a Tiger Malt. 
Which I might enjoy later, or tomorrow.

Just had to put something in my stomach.
And quickly. 


Felt "faint" waiting in line to pay for my food. 
It'd be kinda cool if there was a way of seeing
how many people are actually in the mall
before you go inside so that people who have "sensory issues"
don't have to "deal" with the "overload."

Maybe it's better during the day, during weekdays.
Weekends and after working hours could be busier.
Something I should keep in mind. 

Or just enter the store through their exterior entrance
and just skip going through the mall. 

At least it was open during the pandemic.
The social distancing thing was kinda nuts, though.

Guess that doesn't apply to crowded buses, though.
With "close quarters."

You could fart on the bus, and everyone will know
that someone farted.

And they'd know it was you, if they heard it.
Especially if someone was sitting in the next seat.

It seems that when they thought that "everyone"
got the "jab" things started going back to "normal"

BECAUSE THEY WERE FORCING OR TRYING TO FORCE
PEOPLE INTO GETTING IT.

Even threatening their "livelihood."

Truth is, nobody that got that "jab" knew
what's actually in it.

And there's a "shelf life" of 10 years.
So what will happen 10 years from now?


I could write a whole post about it, 
but I had some thoughts, earlier...

What if Canada put a 50% tariff on the US,
because of the drugs coming up here?
And to make up for the 25% lol.

Canada won't do that, because we rely on the US.
Probably too much...

And even if we import whatever from South America,
Or Mexico, it has to cross the US border to come here.

From what I've heard, Japan's been interested in
our natural gas.

If we traded with other countries other than the US,
we could lessen our dependence on the US.

And I know that we have oil. 
I heard that we send oil to the US to refine
and buy it back lol. 

Well, Hamilton is our steel district...
So we have that, and we've got lumber...

(Although we need to be replenishing our supply.
If we don't, it'll "run out")

JUST LIKE THE PATIENCE OF THE AVERAGE
CANADIAN.

And I wonder when it will run out.
I don't think it'll be anytime soon, 
but when the "well" runs dry, it runs dry.

Kind of like how I have less than zero f*cks
left to give anyone who wanted to
or tried to play games with me.

Sooner or later, they'll see why.
"HOMIE DON'T PLAY THAT."

THE WELL RUNS DRY ON PATIENCE, TOO.
AND F*CKS TO GIVE AND I GAVE TOO MANY.

And the worst thing, other than choosing to...
IS THAT I WAS EXPECTED TO KEEP DOING IT.
LIKE I WAS ALWAYS GOING TO BE THERE.
FOR MORE BS. MORE GAMES. 

But... I don't have to. I never had to.
AND I DON'T HAVE TO LOOK BACK, EITHER.

THEY THOUGHT THEY DIDN'T HAVE TO PUT IN ANY EFFORT
BECAUSE THEY THOUGHT I'D ALWAYS BE THERE.
BECAUSE OF THE HISTORY.

Thought I'd always chase when they RAN AWAY.
Why would I do that?


IN THE PAST, I KEPT TRYING FOR SOMEONE
WHO NEVER STOOD UP FOR ME
BECAUSE THEY WERE TOO BUSY
TRYING TO SEEK VALIDATION FROM EVERYONE LOL. 

What did they think was going to happen?
Their "strategy" didn't work on me lol.

WHEN ANYONE WANTS TO BE COLD TO ME,
THEY CAN SEE WHAT IT'S LIKE FROM MY END.

I don't need "validation." I thought I did.
AND TRYING TO MISLEAD ME LED THEM WHERE?

And the hot and cold stuff was to antagonize me.
Tactics to try to scare me about losing them.
I'm not scared to lose anyone. 
If someone wants me to be scared of that, they'll be fooling themselves.

BUT IMAGINE DOING THAT SH*T TO SOMEONE
BECAUSE SOMEONE WANTED IT TO BE THAT WAY?
TO KEEP YOU AND SOMEONE APART?

THAT YOU DID ALL THAT BS FOR NOTHING?
BECAUSE OF A COMPETITION?
Because they wanted to "bleed you dry"? LOL.
BUT DON'T LISTEN TO ME ABOUT THAT.


Never had to "tolerate" or "wait" or "lament" or anything.
Never had to give any chances, let alone too many.

Screw it, I'm have that now. I'm not waiting until tomorrow...
I'll sip on it and type.

I was going to get some pot tonight, 
but just having some food was good enough for today. 
I can wait another night, but I gotta ration that when I get some.
I need to get a new pipe, though.
When I cleaned it, to get the resin out, I broke it.

"Desperate" times call for "desperate measures."
On that front, I guess.
And on a food front. I have enough to at least not be hungry.
For now, that's good enough.

I watched something where someone was saying
that to live "comfortably" in Toronto, it'd be an annual income
of $80K.

I won't say my annual "income," but it is far less than that.

It's gross that OF "models" make millions.
The script to make a site like OF is on code canyon btw.


Every now and then, I take a look into the "canyon."
I've also thought about White Label stuff.

There's a "system" thing that has "management tools"
like an all in one platform for businesses...
It's White Label.

Which means that you can put your "label" on it.
Business label...

One thing I was looking into were vending type of machines
that sold those covid masks.

Which, I dunno if it would have been worth it.
Since we're "back to normal" now.
We don't use masks much anymore.
Only in hospitals or clinics more or less.
I still keep one in my bag in case.
With my noxolone kit thing.

Sad that people carry that stuff because overdoses
can happen anywhere, at any time.

And sometimes, if you have one of those kit things, 
you can be in the right place at the right time.

Like when that guy and I came across the guy who overdosed.
We were able to get him an ambulance to get him to the hospital.

I hope the dude's okay. Was a trip.
I didn't have one of those kit things at the time.
Not sure that's what he needed, though.

He was "coherent" though.
He couldn't really talk or whatever, 
but I asked him if he could hear me and he confirmed.

He really looked like he was on the edge of life.

Told him not to roll onto his back and put my foot next to him, 
so that he could rest against my leg without being on his back.
Because he had been puking and I didn't want him to choke.

When he realized that I realized that he had overdosed on purpose, 
he was kinda cying and told him not to worry about it.
Just said I was happy that I was there to help him out.
We all need someone to just find us and help us sometimes.

We're human, y'know?
That was a time that he needed that.

I wonder if he and I will ever cross paths again. 
Never know... 
If we did, would he recognize me?
It's been at least 4 years...

Not that I was ever helping him for recognition. 
I had to do something. 
Couldn't leave him there, like that.
He was really in bad shape.
Anyone who could, has no heart, period. 


Seemed that he made it through the night.
We found him in the morning.
People out walking their dogs and stuff...
He was out there, in the open.
Anyone near that field would have seen him. 

The guy I was with thought he was dead
so he went to look at him first.
Because if he was dead, he didn't want me to see that.

And then, we first thought he had gotten too drunk, 
but one look at him, I knew something was wrong. 

Like all the color drained from him...
Very close to the edge...
If you'd seen him, you'd know what I mean.


Anyway, it sucks that I have to let things play out.
The way they are going to play out. 

When you've done all you can, and it's still been BS...
You get to the point where you feel like
there is no point.

What can you do? After all that? Let it play out.
Won't be pretty for those who it has to play out for, 
BUT HOW IS THAT YOUR PROBLEM?
Is it yours? Or theirs?

There's a difference between giving up and being fed up.


I started reading the other book I borrowed from the library.
Not sure if I'll finish it, but I'm still giving it a try.

From what I've read so far, it's written in a way that...
Could be simplified. Not the worst thing I ever read.
Worst thing I ever read was some of my earliest posts lol. 

I cringe at my old mindsets, outlook, emotional immaturity. 
A lot of stuff about who and how I used to be.
How I wish I never was, but I learned a lot.

Learned what I actually needed vs what I thought I wanted.
Learned some very hard lessons. 
Lessons I wish I hadn't had to learn the hard way.
Either way, had to learn.

Some people don't and they don't want to change.
Or grow tf up.

And those people, I don't have to be around.
Nobody had to be around me or wanted to
BECAUSE I WASN'T READY TO CHANGE.

It just bothers me wasting my time and effort
on people who never appreciated it or me.

That's what bothers me.
I could have put that time and effort into other things.

But can't get time back.

The one thing that keeps me going
is that I did what I did for the right reasons.

I never had bad intentions.
But I do not gaf what anyone thinks, now.

It's not about "appearances" to me.
I wasn't about what it looked like to anyone.

And they are free to think watever they want to.
They will anyway. 
No matter how it actually was from my side.


I just watched something emotional. 
It was about a victim testifying against the guy
who almost k1lled her.

Someone saw the girl get into the guy's car.
And called the cops. 

A cop kicked the door down.
And removed a bar from across her neck. 
Which opened up her airway. 

And she was reunited with the guy who saw her
and with the cop who kicked the door down, 
saving her life.

It was an emotional story. 

Also, he was charged with 5 murd3rs. 
He was a photographer who lured his victims
with taking their picture. 

And there could have been more victims. 
Only 5 were tied to him. 
They didn't know who all the girls were in the pictures. 

But they are pretty sure there were more victims.

He was sentenced to death, but died in prison. 
And when he was sentenced to death, 
people in the courtroom were cheering. 

The mother of one of the victims almost shot him in court. 
She had a gun in her purse. 

But she said she heard her dead daughter's voice
telling her not to do it.

I'd heard about the guy before.
This was a different video with interviews
with the victims and family. 
And the guy who saw the girl
And the cop who saved her life.


On another note, there's a guy named Colby
who makes videos of old songs playing on an actual victrola.

He's only got 45 subscribers so far,
but it'd be cool if he could get some more.

Link >>>> Here's Colby

He replied to one of my comments on a video
about an abandoned place video.
The types where they go to abandoned places and film. 

I commented that I half expected to see a ghost or something lol.
He replied with a ghost emoji lol.

Would be cool if we could boost his subscribers to 100.
For a Christmas "present" for Colby. 

So if you'd like to help him out, share a link. 
Get him out there. 

And thanks in advance, if you do help him out.


So I've actually been watching other videos 
other than tarot videos and politics haha.

For a long time, I stopped watching HOC videos.
How they "skirt" around actually answering the question
just really bothered me and got me mad. 

Also, some MPs were berating the MPs 
on the conservative side, like actually 
getting in their face...

WHICH YOU DON'T SEE THE CONSERVATIVES DOING. 

IT WOULD HAVE BEEN VERY DIFFERENT
COMING FROM THEM. 

The tax break is a dumb idea.
Because it won't save everyone money
and it's only a temporary thing. 

Come April, there's supposed to be a big tax hike. 

The 2 months is like giving crumbs to take them away
2 months later... Not a "solution."

But yeah, should consider partnering with Japan. 
And other countries other than the US.

Even to lessen the dependence on them. 
Especially for things we could start producing here.

Maybe they could have put that cricket farm money
towards border control. 

Or the billions of dollars spent on things we never needed.

JT's trying to justify the carbon tax to say that it's money
that goes into some sort of fund to pay for natural disasters.
Caused by climate changes.

I was listening to someone's predictions for next year.
She predicted flash floods. 

It wasn't that long ago that the Don Valley Parkway in Toronto
was flooded and obviously that costs money to clean up. 

So supposedly the carbon tax money is supposed to be 
for stuff like that, I guess.

But it's really ripping us for a loop. 
Then the tariff stuff, 
the tax hike, rent, 

And even if wages increased, 
it would cost the businesses to have to pay more
for each employee so they'll probably
raise costs to compensate for that
so it's not like we're on a "winning" trajectory. 
Economically speaking. 

And Alberta gets hit with disasters.
They had a big flood, forget when, 
and they also had that huge fire in Jasper. 
Jasper's a national park in Canada.

I've passed through there on the bus
a couple of times, but never really got to see it.
In all its glory. 

So I really hope they do some reforestation stuff there.
It won't be like it was, before, but I hope they can 
at least start to bring it back. 

ALL THE WASTED MONEY COULD HAVE BOUGHT
CANADA SOME WATER BOMBERS.
TO FIGHT FIRES LIKE THAT.

Are the dollars from the carbon tax
going towards that? 
Probably not.

We should put a tariff on JT. 
Someone said he should be fined 1k for each lie lol. 

Surprised his pants aren't on fire.

But those MPs litterally getting in his face...
THEY DON'T HAVE TO LIKE THE GUY
BUT THEY DON'T HAVE TO GET IN HIS FACE.

IT JUST SPEAKS TO INSTABILITY. 
BUT THAT IS MY PERSONAL OPINION. 

Supposed to be "professional" in the HOC.

I remember something to do with someone
getting caught relieving himself in the HOC.
I can't remember who or when or the details
but he got fired. 

THERE ARE WASHROOMS IN THE BUILDING. 

When I was a security guard at a building downtown, 
the guards caught a guy urinating on the outside
of the building. He worked there.
He could have just used the washroom inside, 
but he chose to do what he did. 

Since he was caught on camera, 
there was evidence that he actually did it
and then he was fired. 

When I worked at the CBC as a janitor, 
I WAS CLEANING A MALE WASHROOM. 
SOMEONE HAD TAKEN A CRAP
IN THE SINK FFS.

A GROWN ADULT.
SINCE IT IS A BROADCASTING COMPANY. 

That's what I really disliked about being a janitor. 
Sure, cleaning's an "easy" job, 
but when they know someone else
is going to clean their mess, 
THEY'LL LEAVE ONE. 
OFTEN, A BIG ONE.
THEY JUST DO NOT GAF.
IT'S SOMEONE ELSE'S PROBLEM. 

LIKE TODAY, AT THE MALL, 
THERE WERE 6 PEOPLE SITTING ON BENCHES
IN FRONT OF THE STORE, 
INSIDE THE MALL, 
AND SOMEONE HAD SPILLED A DRINK
AND THEY WERE JUST ACTING
LIKE IT WASN'T THERE.
LEAVING IT FOR SOMEONE ELSE TO CLEAN. 

LIKE HOW JT SPILLED THAT BEER, 
KNOCKED A CASE OF BEER OVER...

JUST LEFT IT THERE AND WALKED AWAY.

But these people, at the mall, today... 
THE MESS WAS LITERALLY RIGHT BESIDE THEM. 
BUT WHY SHOULD THEY DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT?
THAT IS WHAT BOTHERS ME ABOUT
BEING A CLEANER.

That's part of the reason why I don't want to be
in that "field of work" anymore.

PEOPLE LIKE WHEN IT'S CLEAN
BUT THEY TAKE IT FOR GRANTED.

LIKE CRAPPING IN THE SINK. 

Nice clean sink to crap in, eh?
WHO CLEANS THAT SINK?!
WHO HAD TO CLEAN YOUR CRAP
OUT OF THAT SINK?

BUT WHO GIVES A F*CK?

BUT IF I TOOK A CRAP IN THE SINK?
HOW WOULD THAT LOOK ON ME?
PROBABLY WOULD FACE
SOME SORT OF CONSEQUENCE FOR IT, EVEN.

So, that is part of why I don't want to be a cleaner anymore.
The other part is having to work with chemicals every day. 
And these are industrial chemicals...

Most people don't realize the effects of chemicals. 
Even the chemicals in our products, 
like shampoo, soap, scented products etc.

Some chemicals can mess with your system. 
Like screw with your hormonal system, even. 

And chemicals in our laundry soap, and dish soap... 
Just all the chemicals that we "trust" aren't "bad" for us...

Because if they were, why would they put them
in products?
To make money selling stuff. 

Take "radium" for an example... 
They hired women to "paint" on the numbers
on the "glow in the dark" watches. 
Using radium and they used to "sharpen the tip"
of the brush by putting it in their mouth...

And were straight up injesting it...
ONLY TO FIND OUT
THAT RADIUM IS RADIOACTIVE
AND IT CAUSES ISSUES!
LIKE DEATH.

BUT WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT?
THAT THEY WERE INJESTING POISON?

THEY JUST THOUGHT IT WAS COOL. 
BECAUSE IT GLOWED LOL. 

It's cool that it glowed, 
but not cool that it was actually dangerous. 

Anyway, there're books and videos about radium
and all the stuff they used it for, back then. 

And all the things the government said were
"safe for consumption" but weren't. 

SO MAYBE I DON'T WANT TO BE ALL LIKE:
HEY! THE GOV WANTS ME TO BE INJECTED
WITH SOME CONCOCTION
THEY SAY IS SAFE.
BUT HAS ALL KINDS OF SIDE EFFECTS.

And at the mall, tonight, there was an ad
on one of the kiosks and it was about some new "drug"
"Ask your doctor about 'whatever drug'"

I don't trust any of that crap. At all. 

Especially when people are PUSHING SOMETHING
AND TRYING TO PUSH IT ON ME.

BUT NOT JUST ON ME, ON EVERYONE.

Hard to put it in words, exactly, it's just really...
Not even suspicious, it is, but there are other words
that I'd use, in conjuction with that one, 
that aren't seeming to match how I feel about it.

And then the social "outcasting" stuff. 
Like treating someone who didn't want to get the vax
LIKE THEY ARE "BAD" AND "WRONG" ABOUT
NOT GETTING IT.

People were trying to like guilt me into getting it.
BUT TO TELL PEOPLE THEY'D LOSE THEIR JOBS
FOR NOT GETTING IT?

THAT'S A NEW LOW. 

AND IF IT TURNS OUT, 
THAT THOSE VACCINES ACTUALLY CAUSE ISSUES.
AND PEOPLE WERE BETTER OFF
NOT GETTING THE JAB, 

I HOPE THOSE COMPANIES THAT MADE THE VACCINES
GET RUN INTO THE GROUND
AND NEVER SEE THE LIGHT OF DAY, AGAIN. 

Part of me thinks that the vaccines were a way to 
launder money somehow. 

The government paid for the doses.
Might have "overpaid" for the doses.

Did anyone track that?
Did anyone even think to track that?

The government needs to be audited. 
That should be one of the first things
that Pierre should get the ball rolling
when he wins the election. 

A lot of "die hard" libs are actually recognizing
how they drove Canada into a sink full of crap.