Leasing The Land

The government's idea about the housing issue in Canada
is that they want to lease the land to build houses on.

THIS MEANS:

1) The government gets to be the slumlord.
2) The person leasing is responsible for repairs and maintenance
(Without being the property owner).
3) The property can't be passed onto an heir.
4) All equity will belong to the government

Leasing fees go to the government.

People who own the property they rent out,
pay property taxes and taxes on the income
from the property they rent out.

The government makes money either way.
Because they get taxes on the property even if you own it.

They even get money when you buy the property.

If they "fall out" of power before this happens
and we actually do things the other way, 
things can be a lot difference.

Because there's federal land not being used anymore.
THAT COULD BE REUSED
FOR HOUSING.

AND PEOPLE WHO RENT OUT THEIR PROPERTY
HAVE LAWS ABOUT RENTING OUT THEIR PROPERTY.
LAWS THAT WHAT?
ARE CREATED BY THE GOVERNMENT.

So that there can be a cap placed on rents.
A cap that can just keep up with our economy.

But the way society seems to be going,
the more conveniences the less effort 
some people want to put into anything.

Chatgpt for an example...
It's easier to ask Chatgpt to write something for you
than to just write it yourself.

So then, because it's easier
people want to stop writing it themselves?

I've written all the cringe posts on this blog.
When I started blogging, 
I didn't know anything about blogging.

The only thing I know about is writing.
As a form of expression.

That's all I've had.
Anyone who understood me, ever?
WHO UNDERSTOOD WHY
SOMETHING MIGHT BOTHER ME?

WHO DIDN'T JUST DEFLECT
WHEN SOMETHING NEEDED TO BE ADDRESSED?

WHO MADE IT EASY FOR ME
TO ADDRESS SOMETHING
WITHOUT TRYING TO TURN IT ON ME
FOR JUST WANTING TO ADDRESS IT?

ALL BECAUSE THEY DON'T WANT TO
HOLD THEMSELVES ACCOUNTABLE.
ALL THE WHILE EXPECTING ME
TO HOLD MYSELF ACCOUNTABLE.

So if they are expecting ME to hold myself accountable
WHY IS IT A HUGE DEAL
FOR ME TO EXPECT THE SAME?
OR EVEN WANT TO EXPECT THE SAME?

TO BE TREATED THE WAY
THEY WANT ME TO TREAT THEM?

So then if I'm expected to have higher standards
FOR THE WAY I'M SUPPOSED TO TREAT THEM
WHICH SHOULDN'T EVEN BE AN ISSUE.
IF YOU CARE ABOUT SOMEONE,
IT SHOULDN'T BE AN ISSUE.

So why would it be an issue for me
to want someone to have higher standards
for the way they treat me?

AFTER ALL THAT BS...
IT MADE ME SEE A LOT.

THE ONLY REASON IT'D BE AN ISSUE
IS IF SOMEONE ONLY THOUGHT ABOUT THEMSELVES.

So if they are only thinking about themselves,
they aren't thinking about me.

So why hold themselves to higher standards
to treat ME the way they would want ME to treat them?

Because it's about THEM, not ME.

And I've seen this with people
I've been extremely generous with.
With my time, my effort, even my money.

For what? A thermos of p*ss and a broken mirror
IF ANYTHING AT ALL.
JUST A BUNCH OF BLATANT IGNORANCE
BECAUSE IT WASN'T ABOUT ME
EVEN AS A PERSON
BECAUSE IT WAS ABOUT WHAT THEY WANTED.
ALL THE TIME.
AND I KEPT GIVING THEM
WHAT THEY WANTED
AND IT WAS THE ONLY REASON 
THEY KEPT ME AROUND.

BECAUSE THE SECOND THAT I STOPPED,
THAT'S WHEN THEIR 'LOYALTY' ENDED.

All nice when I bend over backward for people.
PUT EVERYTHING ABOUT ME TO THE SIDE
FOR THEM. TO SHOW THAT I WANTED THEM
IN MY LIFE.

CALLING, VISITING, ETC.
FOR WHAT? TO BE IGNORED!

Because "A***'s such a b*tch! She's not a good FRIEND.
She's not a good PERSON."

But do they ever say ANYTHING GOOD ABOUT ME?
DO THEY EVER SAY I WAS THERE
BECAUSE I WANTED TO BE?

DO THEY EVER SAY I DID WHAT THEY ASKED OF ME?
AS A 'FRIEND'? FOR A 'FRIEND'?

DO THEY EVER SAY I NEVER ASKED THEM
FOR ANYTHING UNLESS IT WAS IMPORTANT?

DO THEY EVER SAY I WAS THERE FOR THEM?
EVEN WHEN I HAVE MY OWN LIFE?

No. Because they wanted something
AND EXPECTED IT.
LIKE THEY EXPECT EVERYTHING
I EVER HAD TO OFFER AS A 'FRIEND.'

So what does any of that say of me as a person?
As a 'friend'?

No, THEY TOOK ME FOR GRANTED.
WHICH HAPPENS 99.9% OF THE TIME.
BUT I'M THE BAD PERSON
BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO BE USED
BY PEOPLE WHO ONLY WANT ME AROUND
FOR WHATEVER THEY CAN GET FROM ME.

And FOR HAVING MY OWN GOALS 
FOR MY OWN LIFE
AND WANTING SOME THINGS FOR MYSELF.
THINGS THAT I ONLY HAVE MYSELF TO RELY ON FOR.
BECAUSE I'D RATHER NOT HAVE ANYONE IN MY LIFE
IF ANYONE WILL EVER SAY
THAT I USED THEM OR TRIED TO USE THEM
FOR F*CKING ANYTHING.

That's what kind of person I am.
Because I actually don't have to give
EVERYTHING TO EVERYONE.
BECAUSE IF YOU LET THEM
JUST ASK YOU FOR THINGS,
THEY'LL KEEP ASKING
UNTIL YOU F*CKING SAY NO.

And when you say No.
THEY SHOULD RESPECT THAT.
EVEN WHEN IT MEANS
NOT GETTING WHAT THEY WANT.
BECAUSE DO YOU OWE IT TO EVERYONE?
TO GIVE EVERYONE WHAT THEY WANT?
JUST BECAUSE THEY WANT IT?
Even 'friends'?

No. THEY DON'T OWE ME
EVERYTHING I WANT.
SO THEY DON'T JUST TO GET TO
EXPECT IT FROM ME.

People who expect and demand things.
DON'T RESPECT OR APPRECIATE
THE NATURE OF THE THINGS THEY EXPECT
OR DEMAND, OR WANT.

BECAUSE THEY ONLY WANT SO THEY CAN HAVE
THE THINGS THAT THEY WANT.

They want the "feeling" of having it.
BECAUSE WHEN THEY EXPECT IT
THEY ARE EXPECTING THE FEELING OF GETTING IT.

WHEN THEY DON'T EXPECT IT
THE FEELING OF GETTING SOMETHING
YOU WANTED FOR SO LONG

IS ACTUALLY A FEELING OF APPRECIATION.

I'm not going to list the things I wanted and never got.
Not even the simplest, littlest things.
I'm not going to explain why any of those things
would have meant the world to me.

THE SIMPLEST LITTLEST THINGS.
THAT A LOT OF PEOPLE TAKE FOR GRANTED
BECAUSE THEY EXPECT THOSE THINGS.

BECAUSE THE NATURE OF THOSE THINGS
ARE SUPPOSEDLY SUPPOSED TO COME
WITH THE TERRITORY.

And that's why people defend territories.

By territories, I'm not talking about land.
Pretty sure you know what kind of territories
I'm referring to.

But my mind is on other stuff, now.
THE PERSON I USED TO BE
WHEN THOSE SIMPLEST LITTLEST THINGS
MEANT THE WORLD TO ME...

WAS A PERSON WHO HUNG HER LIFE
ON THOSE AND TAPED HER SELF WORTH
ON THOSE SIMPLEST LITTLEST THINGS.

THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN AWESOME
IF THEY JUST CAME EASY.

But now, the kind of person I am...
Is a person who still would appreciate the simplest littles things
THAT I ALWAYS, ONLY WANTED.

I'd still appreciate how that would somehow "make" me
FEEL WORTH THAT. JUST THAT.

But I can't hang my life on any of those things.
BECAUSE I STILL HAVE A LIFE TO LIVE
EVEN WITHOUT ANYTHING
I EVER WANTED.

Does that make sense?
That there's more to life?
Than the things we want?
EVEN IF WE THINK THAT HAVING THOSE THINGS
THAT AREN'T OWED TO US
BY VIRTUE OF SIMPLY WANTING IT
EVEN THE SIMPLEST, LITTLEST THINGS...

Like having someone in your life
to "take care of" all your emotional needs...
THAT MOST PEOPLE PUT ON HAVING
EVERYTHING THEY WANT.

WHAT DID I WANT?
FOR THINGS TO BE FAIR.

WHAT'S FAIR TO ME?
TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR
THE THINGS THAT ARE YOUR RESPONSIBILITY.

BECAUSE IT WOULD BE FAIR TO THEM
FOR ME TO DO THE SAME.

That's why I don't ask for everything I want.
BECAUSE WHO TF WOULD I THINK I WAS?
SOMEONE WHO EXPECTS IT?

BECAUSE WHEN PEOPLE ASKED ME
THEY EXPECTED ME TO BE "NICE"
AND JUST SAY YES.
ALL THE F*CKING TIME.

THAT'S STRAIGHT UP USING SOMEONE.
F*CK THAT.
USE YOURSELF TO GET WHAT YOU WANT.
IF YOU WANT TO USE ANYONE.

I don't ask for things just because I want something.
Even things that "shouldn't" have been a big deal
CONSIDERING ALL I'VE ACTUALLY DONE
THAT NOBODY TELLS ANYONE ABOUT
WHEN THEY'RE TOO BUSY TALKING SH*T
ABOUT ME FOR STRAIGHT UP
TELLING THEM TO THEIR FACE
THAT THEY ARE THE PROBLEM
NOT EVERYONE ELSE.

Maybe the problem is people denying
that they are being selfish and ignorant
for putting what they want
OVER AN ENTIRE 'FRIENDSHIP.'
OR 'RELATIONSHIP.'

OVER SOMEONE AS A PERSON.

And when THAT is a problem.
WHY SHOULD ANYONE WANT TO STAY
IN YOUR LIFE?

You think people didn't walk out of my life?
You think I didn't have to learn my own lessons?
Regarding this very thing?
You think I'm not talking about experience?

BUT WHEN WHAT YOU WANTED
WASN'T A LOT TO WANT.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO WAIT AROUND
AND KEEP PUTTING UP WITH LESS AND LESS.

Here's something to think about.
Let's make the metaphor about a 'thing' first.
Since a lot of people tend to put 'value'
on things money can buy...

Say you are going to buy something you really want.
Versus something you want momentarily.

The thing you really want, 
you're going to value and appreciate a lot more.

Than something that was just an impulse buy.

Put that metaphor on people.
If someone's just being kept around
FOR WHAT THEY CAN DO FOR THEM...
THEY ARE ONLY BEING VALUED
FOR WHAT THEY CAN DO FOR THEM.

SO WHY PUT THE EFFORT INTO
UNDERSTANDING THEM? AS A PERSON?
ARE THEY EVEN A PERSON?
IF THEY'RE JUST THERE TO DO STUFF?

That's how I tend to be treated.
Like I'm just there to do stuff.
THEN WHEN I STOP DOING IT
I'M SUDDENLY NOT WORTH ANYTHING LOL.

THEY VALUED WHAT I DID,
BUT NOT ME AS A PERSON.

If I have to separate myself from 99%
of the people in my life
WHO I WAS ONLY A MEANS TO AN END FOR
AND I REFOCUS ON THE THINGS
THAT I CAN APPRECIATE DOING
FOR MYSELF
AND MYSELF AS A PERSON,

Then wouldn't that be worthwhile for myself?
If it would be worthwhile for me, it would be for you, too.

Because 'friends' would call you just to see how you're doing.
SO WOULD 'FAMILY'
BECAUSE THEY CARE ABOUT HOW YOU ARE DOING.
Because they care about you.

I don't even get that. A simple, little thing.
I guess if I stopped blogging,
people can assume something happened to me.
BUT 99.9% OF PEOPLE WHO KNOW ME
IN MY PERSONAL LIFE
DON'T KNOW ABOUT THIS BLOG.

Maybe, after I die, they can read about
what kind of person I am
BECAUSE THEY NEVER KNEW ME.

Because why know me?
Just ask. For everything you want ffs.
THEN GET MAD AT ME
WHEN I STOP BEING SOMEONE
YOU CAN JUST ASK FOR EVERYTHING
AND NOT EVEN LETTING ME TELL YOU
THAT I WANT YOU TO STOP DOING SOMETHING.

LIKE STOP TRYING TO USE ME LIKE A BANK.
STOP TRYING TO USE ME TO DO ALL YOUR CHORES.
STOP TREATING ME LIKE I'M ONLY WORTH IT
WHEN YOU WANT SOMETHING FROM ME.

Am I treating YOU like YOU are only worth it
WHEN I WANT SOMETHING FROM YOU?

WHEN THE ONLY THING I WANT
IS FOR YOU TO RECOGNIZE THAT
AND TREAT ME LIKE THAT, TOO?

Not that hard to understand that. About me.
SO WHY DOES IT SEEM LIKE IT IS?

Here's something else to think about:
WHEN PEOPLE GET TOO USED TO PEOPLE
TREATING THEM LIKE THAT,
THEY TEND TO ASSUME THAT YOU WILL, TOO.

EVEN WHEN YOU DON'T ASK THEM FOR ANYTHING.

It's easier to assume that I'm like that.
THAN TO REALIZE I MIGHT ACTUALLY NOT BE.

And if they could realize THAT... About me...
MAYBE THEY WOULD REALIZE A LOT OF OTHER STUFF.
ABOUT ME.
AS A PERSON, PERIOD.

And THEN they might understand?
But can I hang my entire life on
WHETHER THEY WILL OR NOT?

BECAUSE IT SHOULDN'T BE THAT HARD
TO REALIZE THAT.

That's what I find insulting.
Because I realize I never mattered enough
for them to realize that about me, as a person.

And if they realized it, they'd actually appreciate it?
RATHER THAN TAKING IT FOR GRANTED.
AND TAKING ME AND EVERYTHING I EVER DID
FOR GRANTED...

TO THE POINT I PULL AWAY.
AND IT'S NOT BECAUSE I WANTED THEM
TO BEND OVER BACKWARD FOR ME.
BUT BECAUSE I WANTED TO BE MET HALFWAY.

If halfway is 'too hard' why stick around?
To bend over backward far enough?
Will it ever be far enough?
For anyone who just wants you to do it
more and more and more
BECAUSE THEY DON'T EVEN WANT TO
MEET YOU HALF WAY.
BY JUST APPRECIATING YOU AS A PERSON.
NOT JUST MAKING IT ABOUT
THE THINGS THEY WANT FROM YOU.

What bugs me is being accused of being how I am
to try to get something from someone.
That would probably bug people
who are the way they are
just because that's the way they are.
It's kind of insulting.

YET THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS TO ME.
BECAUSE THERE HAS TO BE SOME OTHER REASON?

IT'S SO THAT I DON'T GET ANYTHING
BECAUSE WHY WOULD I?

EVEN IF I EXPECTED IT,
WHY WOULD I?

JUST FOR WANTING IT OR EXPECTING IT?
THAT'S WHY YOU OR I SHOULD HAVE ANYTHING?

THAT IS WHAT ENTITLEMENT IS.
BELIEVING THAT.
AND BEING ABOUT IT.

IT TURNS ME OFF.

Like when I call someone just to talk to them,
it's because I want something from them?
Why else would I call them? LOL.

BECAUSE PEOPLE CAN JUST
HAVE A CONVERSATION.
WOULDN'T THAT BE NICE?

FACE TO FACE, Addressing something.

"I can't take confrontation. I get anxiety."
THEN CONFRONT YOURSELF AT LEAST FFS.

Like the guy I kicked out.
ANYONE I EVER KICKED OUT.
WHEN I TELL THEM TO COME GET THEIR STUFF OUT
AND THEY WANT TO PLAY GAMES
ABOUT EVEN TAKING RESPONSIBILITY
FOR SOMETHING THAT IS THEIR RESPONSIBILITY...

BECAUSE THEY WANTED TO ASSUME THINGS.
LIKE HOW I WOULD ACT WHEN THEY CAME TO GET IT.

THE THINGS I HAD POINTS TO MAKE ABOUT...
I MADE MY POINT ABOUT IT
BY WHAT? KICKING YOU OUT!

EVEN KICKING MYSELF OUT.

EVEN IF IT MAKES ME SEEM
LIKE I NEVER CARED.
IF I NEVER CARED, I WOULDN'T HAVE
BOTHERED TO TRY TO TAKE IT ANYWHERE.

And being alone, while figuring stuff out for myself
ISN'T ABOUT NOT CARING.
IT'S TAKING TIME TO THINK DEEPER.
Among other things...
THAT SHOULD MATTER MORE
THAN GETTING SOMETHING SUPERFICIAL
THAT SHOULDN'T EVEN MATTER.

And if talking sh*t about me makes you feel any better,
you can tell everyone anything you want to.
BUT DOESN'T MAKE IT TRUE.