Building 22

Well, I met my new doctor today...
Not a fan of her. 
My doctor retired years ago, maybe 4 years ago.
The doctor who replaced her got replaced.
Then the doctor who replaced her got replaced.

Just the way these doctors treat me...
Like I'm"slow." They literally talk to me like that.
I called one out about it and she denied doing it.

So today, she was asking me about my medication.
She didn't think I knew what I was talking about.
"Are you sure you're not mistaking these with those?
Could that be it?"
No, it's YOU not listening to me.
BECAUSE I TOLD YOU AT LEAST 4 TIMES.
I didn't say that to her, but when you tell someone
MORE THAN ONCE, 
IT GETS KIND OF IRRITATING.
ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY ARE GETTING PAID
TO F*CKING LISTEN.
WHICH SHOULDN'T BE HARD. CORRECT?

Anyway, she ended up calling the pharmacy to ask THEM
about MY medication.
Fine, listen to THEM.
THEY'LL TELL YOU EXACTLY WHAT I SAID.

I SWEAR, IT'S LIKE IF IT COMES FROM ME...
BUT WHEN IT COMES FROM SOMEONE ELSE...

Anyway, I was like "See? I know what I'm talking about,
but I keep getting treated like I don't."

Dropped her a little hint there. Hope she got it.

After the appointment, I walked over to the University.
It's disgusting how big that campus is.
Tuition's probably higher now than it was when I went to college.
I suspect that it's more to go to a University than to college.

The f*cking doctor asked me if I finished high school ffs.
IS THAT WHY I'M HERE?
SO YOU CAN ASK ME IF I FINISHED HIGH SCHOOL??!!
WTF DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH WHY I'M HERE.

LIKE "NO, I'M TOO 'SLOW' TO FINISH HIGH SCHOOL.

And she asked me if I do drugs. No coke?
WTF. No, Doc, I don't do coke ffs.

Like "you're 'poor' so you "must" "do drugs""
F*ck right off.
I don't smoke cigarettes anymore and I don't drink anymore.

Imagine that plus being spoken to like you're stupid...
Why? Because I'm not a doctor, just like YOU?

Speaking of drugs, an addict came in there all entitled 
to speak to a counselor and get food from the food cupboard thing.
They told her like 5 times that it was only open Tues, Wednesday, and Friday.
She could have just gone back tomorrow, when it was open.

She looked at me after huffing at them about it.
I didn't know what to say and didn't say anything.
I shrugged my shoulders. Which seemed to offend her.
"Are you serious?!" She said getting all mad that I shrugged my shoulders.
What did you want me to say or do ffs?

Anyway, I went to the University because there's a piano.
The piano is closed between 8:30am and 5pm.
I had to wait until 5 and I walked around the "block" 6 times.
Waiting for the piano to "open."

A bunch of songs I forget how to play.
Hadn't played for around 5 years. Maybe longer.
My Grandmother taught me my first song.
On her piano. It was mary had a little lamb.

Most of the songs I can play on the piano are church songs lol.
I forgot most of them. There are a few I still remember.
But if you don't practice, you forget stuff.

Anyway, just was a weird appointment today.
Shouldn't talk to people like they don't know
what the fook they're talking about.
Y'know... The off chance that they DO?

Wouldn't it piss them off?
Listen to ME, I'm a DOCTOR.

A doctor who called my home phone
when I was sitting right there. 
In the same room as her.

Then she's like: "I meant to call the pharmacy!"
Ya think?!

Apart from that there was a guy on the bus.
He had no fingers.
I asked "What happened? Frostbite?"
Because frostbite WILL do that.

He said he had blood poisoning.
His limbs turned black.
He lost his fingers and toes, and his right leg.
Crazy, eh?

So I asked him how he got blood poisoning.
He said he got blood poisoning from a tooth infection.
Get your teeth checked everyone.

ONE tooth gets infected, you could GET BLOOD POISONING!

He said that he tells everyone.
I said that it's good to know.
Because it's not like anyone expects to get it.
AND IT'S GOOD TO KNOW
THAT YOU "COULD" GET BLOOD POISONING
FROM A TOOTH INFECTION.

There's a place in the city, a dental clinic
that has "glasses" you can wear 
to watch a "show" while they do your teeth.

I used to go to the dental students' thing at the college.
Because it's not as expensive as any other place.
Plus they need to practice on people.
It's cool in there. They have a bunch of chairs in there.

I used to clean the P building when I worked there.
The P building was where I had my classes.

The firefighter room was cool. 
All the suits lined up.
I guess they had drills where they
had to get them on as fast as they could.

The ambulance room had a couple of hospital beds in it.
The guy who trained me, the father of a friend of mine, 
the grandfather of a friend of mine... I met him before his son.
And his son's son's mom was dating my best friend.
They literally lived across the hall, but one floor up.

I found that out because my buddy, who I met at work
were going home after our shift.
And I was like: "I live here."
He was like: "No shit! I'm staying there with my girlfriend."
The girlfriend had a son with the son
of the guy who trained me at the job. 

They broke up, eventually.
He told me that they went out for drinks together.
She thought he was flirting with the waitress
so she poured a whole pitcher of beer in his lap.

He told me why his father went to jail.
He pushed a guy out a window on the 13th floor.
I don't remember how long he was in jail for, 
but he did get out because they lived together for a while.

He moved out because he'd come home from work
and his stuff was gradually getting pawned.

He lived with another guy we worked with.
I went to their place, it was around here.
They had a pink bathtub. 
I cracked up.
Two dudes with a pink bathtub.
It was there when they moved in, 
and a bathtub is a bathtub no matter what color.

Reminds me of the time my Uncle was borrowing
my mom's pink DVD player.
He was in the hospital and this was before it got bad.

He was saying "Why does it have to be pink?!"
My Aunt said "Does it play DVDs differently 
because it's PINK?!"

I'm sure pink bathtubs are just like regular bathtubs.
Doesn't do anything differently
JUST BECAUSE IT'S PINK.

Just like I'm not a drug addict 
JUST BECAUSE I HAVE MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES.

Sure, I'll smoke some marijuana from time to time.
IF I HAVE IT. IF I DON'T, I DON'T.

But she 100% legit asked me if I do coke.
I told my mother over the phone.
She said that I should have looked at her and asked:
"Why? Do you?"

Like that one doctor (thank the stars she retired).
ASKED ME IF I ENJOYED BEING DEPRESSED. 
Because I don't want to take anti-depressants.
I took Zoloft. What a f*cking nightmare that sh*t is.

When I took that, I'd get really invasive, persistant thoughts.
Like really disturbing thoughts.
What it felt like is "Maybe if I do x,y,z that'll stop."
Like unthinkable, unspeakable sh*t.
And I knew that wasn't ME.
Because I wouldn't do that sh*t.

When I stopped taking it, it stopped.
BUT I WANTED TO DIE
BECAUSE IT WOULDN'T STOP.

AFTER THAT, DO I WANT TO 'EXPERIMENT'
WITH SOMETHING ELSE? No thanks!

And the doctors DON'T GET IT
BECAUSE THEY DON'T TAKE THE SH*T.
THEY JUST GIVE IT OUT TO MAKE MONEY.
THEY DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE.

And just TRY to explain that to a DOCTOR
WHO TALKS TO YOU LIKE YOU'RE STUPID.
WON'T LISTEN...
BECAUSE THEY ARE 'BETTER THAN YOU'
BECAUSE THEY ARE THE DOCTOR
AND YOU'RE NOT...

I asked her why she would even ask me that...
"Because if you don't enjoy it, you'd take these pills."
Shove your pills up your @ss "doctor."
All I actually needed is what I'm on now.
BECAUSE IT WOULD HAVE BEEN NICE
TO KNOW I HAVE BPD YEARS AGO!

And all the years I had THAT doctor.
Now I have a doctor who straight up asked me if I do "coke."

Speaking of coke... I was thinking today about that job I had.
When I was a security guard, I had a "post" at the coca-cola plant.
I don't know if they made the drinks there, 
or if they just distributed from there...

But my job was to "log" the trucks in and out of the gated area.
So when I truck came in, I had to log the number of the truck
and press the button to open the gate to let the truck in.

Then when they were leaving again, I had to write the number
of the truck and press the button to let them out.

With the time they came and the time they left.
That was it. That was my whole job.

I didn't mind the job, it was the people
who scheduled the shifts. F*ck those idiots.
They kept double booking me with another dude.
I was supposed to have a shift with holiday pay.
When I got there, they had him there.
I was pissed off.

They did that like 3 times.
So when I saw the guy at the stop I was waiting at
I assumed they freaking did it again.
So I went home and they fired me from that post.

WHY F*CKING DO THAT TO SOMEONE?
THEY'RE COUNTING ON F*CKING HOLIDAY PAY
AND WHEN THEY GET THERE
THERE'S SOMEONE ELSE?
AND THEY NEVER BOTHERED TO CALL ME? WTF.

I only stayed with that company for a year.
One of the worst managed companies I worked at.

The company that took over for the company 
I was working for when I worked at the college...

WHEN THEY BOUGHT THE COMPANY,
THEY AUTOMATICALLY PAID
EVERYONE THE HOLIDAY PAY.

It worked like this:
When you worked holidays or overtime,
they "banked" it so that you could request it
WHEN YOU WANTED IT.
LIKE IF YOU TOOK TIME OFF WORK.
SO I WAS SAVING MINE.
FOR THAT REASON.

I mean, I still got paid, 
but I was saving it up.
So I could take time off work.

The original company used to have a big breakfast for us
FOR CHRISTMAS.
THEY'D COOK US UP PANCAKES AND SAUSAGES ETC.

The new company just ordered KFC and pizza.
I mean, it's still a nice gesture.
A little appreciation goes a long way.

But the original company seemed to care more.

There was a deaf guy who worked there.
Nobody knew any sign language so they didn't talk to him.
He taught me some signs.
I know most of the alphabet in sign language.
So when we talked, I just spelled out the words.

My mother wanted to be an interpreter for court.
So she was taking a sign language course.
The last part of the course wasn't being taught here.
It was being taught in BC.
Obviously, she didn't want to pack us up
and move out there, so she never became one.

She used to work at a lab testing samples.
She liked that job.
Her husband was raging and kept calling her at work
just to rage at her. He called so many times
that she got fired from that job.

The doctor was asking me what I do for work.
"What do you do all day?" Like I don't do anything
but pick my belly button and contemplate life ffs.

So I mentioned that I'm working on my website
for affiliate marketing. 
She's like "I don't know what affiliate marketing is."
Well, guess you wouldn't. You're a doctor.

BUT DOCTORS DO AFFILIATE MARKETING
WHEN THEY PRESCRIBE DRUGS
FROM BIG PHARMA.

That dude who was randomly texting me...
I called that number...
The guy didn't tell me his real name.
Because when it went to voicemail
and they say their name...
WASN'T THE NAME HE GAVE ME.

And then you wonder WHY I get suspicious?
He can't text me anymore anyway.
I'm locked of my accounts, again.

They say it's because of a vpn, 
but it's not, because it was working fine the day before.

And the app I had on my phone, 
I accidentally deleted it.
When I tried to reinstall it, I couldn't.
The new version of the app
isn't compatible with my phone.
My phone is too outdated for the new app.

I'm not getting a new phone just to get an app.
Not like I could afford one if I wanted one.

I see like 99% of the people on the bus or train
GLUED TO THEIR PHONES.
WHAT HAPPENED WITH JUST TALKING?
TO THE PERSON SITTING NEXT TO YOU?

I learned about blood poisoning from a dude on the bus.
Floss your teeth yo.


Or looking out the window and thinking?
Seems like most people don't do that anymore.

At the University, most people had airpods.
Or whatever they are. 

The piano is in the architecture building.
Walking around I saw some models of bridges and structures.

It reminded me of when we were in grade 6,
the teacher was teaching us "business"
so we had teams of 4 people 
and we had to name our business
and we had "credits" to "buy" our "material"
to build our bridges out of popsicle sticks.

Ours was B.O.T for Bridges Of Tomorrow.
It was my idea, they seemed to like it.

Seeing those bridges reminded me of that.
Hadn't thought of that in years.

It was a hot day today.
I was remarking on that to a guy as we waited for the bus.
I was thinking that maybe we're getting closer to the sun.
Maybe we are.

I mean, yeah, the factories making the smog
and polluting... All that probably not good for climate change, either.

But, if we're actually getting closer and closer to the sun
HOW IS THE CARBON TAX
SUPPOSED TO STOP THAT?

"Here, Mr. Sun. Here's all the carbon tax dollars..."
And I'm not even high ffs.

But the doc had to know if I do "coke."
I guess that would be a health concern if I DID, eh?

Speaking of our health care...
A 13 year old who was hooked on drugs
went to one of those outreach "programs"
where she wasn't getting help to get OFF drugs
WHICH IS WHAT SHE WANTED...
INSTEAD THEY GAVE HER A DRUG KIT.

Then SHE OVERDOSED.

It's not that it's the drug that's killing them.
It's NOBODY GIVING A F*CK
THAT MAKES THEM WANT TO DO DRUGS.

AND SOME PEOPLE DGAF BECAUSE THEY ARE ON DRUGS.

But even "trying" a drug is a CHOICE.
At 13, I stole cigarettes and climbed trees to smoke them.
I wasn't sticking a needle in my arm.

Speaking of needles... The nurse said that the last time
I got a tetanus shot was 2013 so they gave me one.
And told me I should get a hep B shot.

When I was staying with a couple of guys...
I was doing dishes and I felt "weak."
I know that feeling because it means I'll faint.
I have to sit down right away when I feel that.

So I fainted and the guys freaked out.
They didn't want to give me CPR 
because they didn't want to give me hep C.
I don't know if it can be transmitted from saliva.
I heard it can be transmitted by oral sex.

Feel free to fact check anything I write.
Because I "might" be high on "coke."

What would she have said if I had said...
"Yeah, I do. I did two lines right before this appointment."
Like gtfo of here with that sh*t.