Loyalty Tests

Been watching some channel I found.
The crew sets it all up for loyalty tests and they make good videos.
With humor. Had a few chuckles...

So I guess the channel got into my feed
because I watched another phone swap video.

It was two female. "Best" friends...
One was seeing her friend's brother.
So the guy was like let her see your phone
to one of the girls.
And a bunch of texts from another guy...
So the chick called her brother and told him.

One guy I knew, he would tell me how she cheated on him
with a co-worker WHILE SHE WAS PREGNANT.
AND HE STAYED WITH HER.
AND SHE KEPT CHEATING ON HIM.

IF HE WAS CHEATING WHILE SHE WAS PREGNANT...
I TOLD HIM THAT I HOPE FOR HIS SAKE
THAT SHE DIDN'T CHEAT
AND GOT PREGNANT.

That's really what some of them would do, though.
CHEAT, GET KNOCKED UP
AND CLAIM THE BABY IS THEIRS.

That's why Maury does those "you are not the father" videos.

And you see them swear up and down
that the baby is indeed HIS CHILD.
AND ACT ALL SHOCKED THAT IT'S NOT.

The loyalty test that blew my mind
WAS THE WIFE HIDING A BABY SHE HAD
BEHIND HER HUSBAND'S BACK
WHILE HE WAS DEPLOYED.

Not only did he find out his wife cheated.
WHILE HE WAS DEPLOYED...
WHEN YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE ABLE TO TRUST...
WELL ALL THE TIME, BUT ESPECIALLY....

But found out she has a secret baby.
Double whammy on that.
BUT HITS JUST AS HARD THAT SHE EVEN WOULD.

THAT'S WHY IT P*SSED ME OFF
THAT PEOPLE EVEN WOULD
WHEN THEY DID ME THE WAY THEY DID ME.
BUT THEY DID.
AND THEY DIDN'T HAVE TO.

Like the college proff. SHE DIDN'T HAVE TO.
AND SHE ONLY TARGETED ME.
OF EVERYONE IN THE CLASS.


My mother didn't have to sign her rights away.
She did it. To me. Not my brothers.
But in all honesty, 
IF SHE DID IT WHEN I WAS YOUNGER...
SHE WOULDN'T HAVE HAD TO DEAL WITH ME AT ALL
AND I WOULDN'T HAVE GONE THROUGH
ALL KINDS OF GARBAGE.

But that was MY loyalty test.
TO SEE IF I'D STILL TREAT HER LIKE MY MOTHER
EVEN THOUGH SHE DIDN'T TREAT ME
LIKE HER DAUGHTER.
LIKE HER CHILD.
LIKE SOMEONE SHE CARED ABOUT.

And I sometimes wonder if that messed me up.
And it affected me as a mother.
And my son as a son.

How his father treated both of us
messed up the both of us.


AND THAT'S NOT HIS FAULT.
NOT MY SON'S FAULT
THAT HIS FATHER COULDN'T
OR WOULDN'T WAKE TF UP.

AND MY FAULT FOR TRUSTING HIS FATHER.
BECAUSE I NEVER THOUGHT THAT I HAD
ANY REASON NOT TO.

I trusted many people
BECAUSE I NEVER THOUGHT
THERE WAS ANY REASON NOT TO TRUST THEM.

NOT TO SMASH MY FAMILY HEIRLOOM... ETC.
NO LOYALTY THERE, EH?

BECAUSE HE WAS GIVING ME A SH*TTY ATTITUDE
CALLED HIM ON IT.
KICKED HIM OUT BECAUSE OF IT
AND HAD TO PROVE IT TO ME
YET AGAIN ON THE WAY OUT?


AND PEOPLE WONDER WHY THEY CAN GTFO?

But let them miss when I was being loyal. 
WHEN I WOULDN'T HAVE DONE TO THEM
WHAT THEY DID TO ME.

And when everyone screws them over...
A*** WOULDN'T HAVE DONE ME LIKE THAT.
WHY? BECAUSE SHE ACTUALLY LOVED ME?

I saw a video where a chick was at a bar with her boyfriend
AND TAKES ANOTHER DUDE INTO THE WASHROOM
AT THE BAR WHILE HER BOYFRIEND IS RIGHT THERE.
THE F*CKING AUDACITY.

 
Maybe they will regret the things they had the audacity to do to me.
But they can miss me with that regret.
Did they regret it while they were doing it?
Were they sorry when they were doing it?
No? 

Was he sorry while he was smashing my mirror?
Or doing any of the other bs he was doing to me? No?

Was anyone who was stalking and spying on me
sorry while they were doing it?
Who lied and tried to gaslight me about it?

And it'd be cool without any of that sh*t.

Is it my fault that some people are immature?
WAS IT THEIR FAULT WHEN I WAS BEING IMMATURE?
If it isn't their fault for MY immaturity...
HOW IS IT MY FAULT FOR THEIRS?

It's called taking accountability.
There were times that have been really hard to.
BECAUSE OF GUILT AND SHAME.
BUT ONLY I WAS TO BLAME.
It was only MY fault.
NO MATTER HOW I TRIED TO JUSTIFY IT.

AND WHAT ISN'T MY FAULT, ISN'T MY FAULT.
NO MATTER HOW THEY TRY TO JUSTIFY IT.

Anyway, I know I keep writing about this stuff.
Not that I'm trying to drive it home to anyone.
Just been on my mind.