That Time, Those Times

Canada Day today, might go to the beach, we'll see.
Going back home for a bit on Wednesday. 
I guess then I can write more. 
My energy is sapped more than usual. 

But I know I'm doing the best thing I can, 
the right thing by staying with someone grieving. 
It's really hard on really hard days. I get it, though.

I think I've made it through a lot because I
push down pretty much everything. 
Even the rage I feel, at times. 
Probably not the healthiest thing to do, 
but some intense emotions are pretty intense.

Sometimes I hope that it doesn't come up to the surface
EVERYTHING ALL AT ONCE. UNEXPECTEDLY. 

It was hard when my Grandmother was in the hospital, 
but she was always happy to see me.

Once, I was 16 and I ran away
because I knew a cool couple someone introduced me to.
Unbeknownst to me, my stepfather fallowed me to their house
And waited for me to leave and yelled at them. 

Because I used to call them, just to talk.
They told me what happened and that I shouldn't call anymore. 

Obviously, that p*ssed me off because he had no right to do that.
I wasn't even living with him or my mom at the time. 

I just wanted to be away and he couldn't follow me
through southern Ontario. 

I convinced a couple of guys to give me some money
to get out of town and I got on a bus to Toronto.
Well, the actual destination was Fergus Ontario. 
I  knew a guy from there and he had told me before, 
when I brought up visiting him that it wouldn't be a good idea, 
but I ended up going. 

I didn't know Fergus didn't have a bus station,
because it's a small town, not a city. 
So I missed my stop. 

I had asked the guy sitting across the aisle
when we were going to get to Fergus. 
He said we already passed it...
So I was freaking out because I didn't know where we were.

He was really nice, though. 
He said I could get off the bus with him
and that he'd take me to his parents place
to crash on their couch for the night. 

The next day, we went to a hobby farm.
The guy who owned the farm sold drugs
and somehow he tricked the guy to get drugs from him. 

He pretended to drop it (a pill of ecstasy) in my hair. 
Then the guy was kind of freaking thinking I took it, 
I didn't, so I went to the washroom, took my clothes off
handed them my clothes so they could check them.
Because I damn well didn't take it.

Then, they were satisfied with inspecting my clothes. 
And I suggested that if we cleaned the kitchen, 
we might find it if we swept up. 

So I obviously got my clothes back and cleaned for the guy. 
He seemed satisfied with that, and I crashed on one of the couches 
in the living room. 
The next day, the guy was p*ssed off and loading his shot gun. 

The guy who brought me there told me to just lay there
like I wasn't even there so he'd forget I was there...
Then he went to talk the guy down. 

I didn't know that the dude actually was the one who stole the drugs.
He split it with me. The high was intense, my first hit of E.
The come down was awful. Felt like my brain cells were dying. 
I started freaking a bit because I thought I was dying. 

That was at the guy's cousin's place where he took me next. 
I stayed there for a week or so then decided I wanted to try to
make it to Fergus. I was in Simcoe and the guys gave me $120
told me to take the cab to another place to get the bus, 
but I asked the taxi guy if he'd take me to Fergus. 
It was a long way from Simcoe. 
He had to call his supervisor to ask if he could. 
I paid him all the money I had left. 

I felt it was safer taking a taxi the rest of the way. 
Was the most expensive, furthest cab ride.
Was past Orangeville. 

I don't know why it's called that.

There's a place closer to here called Eagleson. 
It's Eagleson Drive. 
My stepfather swears there are eagles there.
Probably are, I know there are some in Canada,
saw one in Vancouver. Actually, in Whiterock. 

It's named after an actual rock that is painted white. 
I heard someone say it when my ex and I were there. 

Got a raging sunburn the first time I saw the ocean. 
I still have a perma-burn on my chest from that. 
Never been that burnt in my life. 

It was on the cool side so I didn't think I'd get burnt, 
but I did... Badly. 

I have pale skin because I have Finnish Ancestry. 
my Grandmother on my father's side was from Finland.

I inherited pale skin, plus I've spent a lot of time indoors.
With my indoor hobbies...

Anyway, my friend ordered us some take out. 
And I've got to go collect it at the door.