Energy

Today, I had pretty bad anxiety. I had to get out. 
My normal place to go is by the lake.
First, I went to the plateau by the river.
I tried doing some energy work.
There was a guy who came by to meditate.
He sat in the shallows of the river to his waist.

When I was leaving, I did an experiment
while he was still meditating, I pulled energy up
through him to the highest point, 
then dropped it down, a few times.

I could tell he felt it because when I did it, 
there was a change in his "stance."
Hard to explain it, but I knew he could. 

While in mediation, you're "open" spiritually...
Hard to explain that, too. 

I have tried mediation, before. 
It's just hard to stop the "hampster wheel" of thoughts.

Most of our thoughts are thoughts we keep thinking
UNTIL WE GIVE OURSELVES
NEW THINGS TO THINK ABOUT.

I heard somewhere that every thought we think
ATTRACTS 7 THOUGHTS RELATED TO THE 1 THOUGHT.
SO EACH OF THOSE 7 ATTRACTS 7 MORE... ECT.

And when you start realizing things...
It's as though 7 more realizations are right behind it.

"the more you see, the more you see."
Again, it's not about "seeing" with your physical eyes.
When you can see through your spiritual eyes, 
you see other things...

But today, when I was out there, by the lake, 
going through the trails, I had a really HUGE onset of energy.
I can't really explain it, but I'll try...
It was kind of like being on E, but without drugs.
It was intense, but in the most beautiful way.
I've felt "it" before, but on a minor scale. 
That feels good, but I felt "it" really amped up.

Today, what was on my mind were some things...
Years back, I was listening to Abraham Hicks...

There were a few things that were said that kind of struck me.
One, was that something about Asking the universe for something. 
And then it's out there, where the universe sorts it out.

It was put like this:
When you go to a restaurant. You order something to eat.
KNOWING THAT IT'S BEING PREPARED FOR YOU.
And you KNOW that you are going to get what you ordered.
Just have to WAIT for it to be prepared "behind the scenes" for you.

Another way it was put: It's not up to you how it's being prepared.
You know that it's being prepared, though.

And the universe knows what it's doing. 

But there are types of ways we "ask" with our thoughts.
That's hard to explain, too.

Something that was said was to hold a thought for 17 seconds.
That's hard to do, sometimes.
Especially when your thoughts and thinking are fragmented. 

Like when you ruminate. I'm a master ruminator hahaha.
If you can't tell from repetitive posts...

When you learn to "transmute" energy, it helps, a lot. 
And hard to explain how I do it.
It has to do with pulling energy from the earth, 
and pulling it to the highest point...
That you can reach, then drop it down...
Incrementally. 

I do that with trees. Pull energy from the earth, 
through the roots, to the highest point of the tree, 
then drop it down, through the tree, down through the roots.

Yeah, it sounds crazy. I don't talk a lot about this type of stuff. 
Also, partly, because I'm only just getting back into it.

I was listening to a new tarot reader. 
It was actually his first video...
He was talking about the power of the colors...
Especially the color red...

And to use the color red to increase "inner knowing."
He was saying that it's like a muscle
that can get stronger and stronger.

EVERY ABILITY IS LIKE A MUSCLE.

I've had an ability from a young age.
I didn't even realize it for the longest time...
It's hard to even put it into words...
Sort of like an inner "knowing" somehow. 
I haven't been using it much so it's not as strong as it could be, I guess.

But, there were a few times it freaked me out.
The first one, when I was having a couple of beers...
I went to a bar that was near the physio place.
I had a dislocated knee and I was trying to "brace" myself
for what I anticipated could be painful...

Anyway, I kept getting the name Pierre and the number 11.
I didn't know what it meant...
THEN ABOUT 10 MINUTES LATER...
A GUY COMES INTO THE BAR...
SITS A COUPLE SEATS OVER.

So I struck up some small talk...
ASKED HIS NAME... PIERRE.

So I told him that just before he got there
THAT I "GOT" HIS NAME.
JUST BEFORE HE GOT THERE...

SO I HAD TO KNOW...
ABOUT THE NUMBER 11.
I ASKED HIM...

His birthday. 11th day, 11th month.

THAT one... That was kind of freaky. 

And sometimes I can "pick up" on some things.
And I've had people literally tell me:
I know what you're thinking! And they actually did!

I did that with someone, before.
I picked up his thought, once. 
"I know you wanted to kick that."
We were walking to the pharmacy and there was...
A KID'S BALL WE PASSED.

And yes, he wanted to kick it.
But sometimes when you are familiar with someone, 
it's easier to pick up from certain people.

With others, they can be harder to "read"...
I can somewhat "cloak" which some people find intimidating.
BECAUSE THEY LITERALLY CANNOT READ ME.
AND THEY DON'T KNOW WHAT TO THINK OR FEEL ABOUT IT.

I don't do it to intimidate, actually. 
But it can f*cking scare people.

I only show people what I want to...
SO THEY DON'T KNOW EVERY FACET OF ME.
AND THEY OFTEN UNDERESTIMATE ME.

But the stronger you get, the stronger you get.
In all ways, in all aspects of self and life...
Starts internally, very much so.

I wasn't focused on any of this stuff, 
didn't think about any of it...
Was stuck in emotional turmoil... Constantly.
But, the last while, I'm "pulled" to it more and more.
It's important to "listen" to that.

Like at the river, today.
It was important to just "be" there.

And when I was increasing the energy...
I was trying to make a "vortex" over the river...

And that's when the guy showed up to meditate...
I waved to him before he started meditating. 

I've had a few nice exchanges, today.
But the BEST part was that HIGH I FELT.
It was so powerful that tears were flowing.
My face almost hurt because I was smiling so HARD.
I never felt like that before, but it was super intense!

If I could bottle that feeling and sell it to the world, 
I'D BE BEYOND RICH.

But it's ENERGY. YOU CAN'T BUY THAT.
IT EITHER FLOWS OR IT'S BLOCKED.

I've had several BLOCKS, most of them were emotional.

Something I realized is that our feelings
are very closely related to how we think and what we think about.

The more we appreciate, the more we appreciate, for example.

As an exercise, I did an Abraham Hicks thing.
Where you "list" to yourself all things you appreciate.
Anything.
"I appreciate dogs." 
"I appreciate shelter."
"I appreciate values."
"I appreciate the ability to travel."
Anything that you can think of, just add it to the "list."
Whatever comes to mind.
BECAUSE WE TAKE TOO MUCH FOR GRANTED.

Of course, I have, too. It's easy to do!
Especially around people who just don't. 

So when I go for a long walk, and I do my energy stuff...
I'm an Earth sign. That's my "element."
Going to places "in nature" is where I "fill" my "cup."
AND I JUST "RETREAT" INTO MY INNER WORLD...
WHERE I CAN JUST "BE" AND "CREATE."
Where I can just "experience."
And the experience IS the experience...
I can't put it into better words than that.

That HUGE energetic BURST...
THAT WAS A WHOLE NEW EXPERIENCE...
But THAT experience IS the experience...
Something that I was BLESSED TO EXPERIENCE.
AND IT IS POSSIBLE TO ACHIEVE IT.
BECAUSE I DID, TODAY.

And when that happens, hold it for as long as you can.
BUT ENJOY IT! THAT'S WHAT IT'S FOR! TO ENJOY!

And the "list" you can add to "I enjoy"

I saw a really touching video...
A guy, with one leg, was searching through busted-out cars...
I don't know what he was searching for, more like rummaging.

Anyway, a guy snuck up behind him to lay a few items for him
on the ground so he would hit it with his one foot...

A pair of crutches, a shirt, and food.
It was beautiful! Especially his reaction!
Like "prayers" being answered.
And he acknowledged. 
It was beautiful to do for him.
And he was so grateful!
Didn't know where they came from, 
BUT THEY WERE FOR HIM!
ESPECIALLY THE CRUTCHES.

Seeing that and feeling that...
THINKING ABOUT THAT...
AND KNOWING THAT PRAYERS DO GET ANSWERED.

And it's okay to feel those feelings
from watching and remembering...
BEAUTIFUL THINGS LIKE THAT.
HOW SOMETIMES WE'RE BLESSED 
WHEN WE LEAST EXPECT IT.

Like when my son showed up at my door one night.
AFTER HE REFUSED TO SPEAK TO ME FOR 3 YEARS.
A HUG FROM HIM AFTER ALL THAT TIME...
OF WORRYING THAT I'D NEVER GET TO SEE HIM
OR BE WITH HIM AGAIN...

It happened when I least expected it.
And that was an answer to MY prayer.

It was like a culmination of putting what I REALLY WANTED
INTO THE UNIVERSE FOR 3 YEARS...

But it usually happens when you want something for the right reasons.
When we want something for the wrong reasons, things go wrong.
It's hard to explain that, too.

It was a culmination of putting it out there. ORDERING.
And it's one of our business how, when, where, why, or HOW
IT WILL HAPPEN...

Do we know every intricacy of NATURE?
BUT CAN WE STILL WATCH A TREE'S GROWTH?
We don't need to know everything about how the wind blows
TO FEEL IT BLOWING.
TO SEE IT BLOWING STUFF AROUND...

We don't need to know how rain accumulates 
IN THE CLOUDS BEFORE IT RAINS...
TO FEEL THE RAIN ON OUR SKIN...
TO WATCH THE RAIN FALLING...

It's kind of like that...
We don't need to know how it "works"
To feel, see, know what it is...

Sort of like we don't need to know how the universe
is going to "line" something up for us.
When or why... Through who or what...

The ORDER goes to the "kitchen."
The ORDER gets prepared in the "kitchen."
DO WE NEED TO KNOW HOW IT'S PREPARED?
OR WHO IS PREPARING IT?
OR WHEN IT'LL BE PREPARED?
OR WHO'LL BRING IT TO YOUR TABLE?

But YOU KNOW IT'S ON IT'S WAY.
BECAUSE YOU PUT IN YOUR ORDER.
And you have no reason to question it.
It'll come to your table.

So we can "ask" for something.
Even if we "ask" for it to ourselves...
The ORDER goes to the "kitchen."
But there's an energetic exchange.
PEOPLE ARE PAID TO COOK IT.
TO SERVE IT.
TO PROVIDE IT.

That's a bit like how it works.
There's a "payment" or "exchange" 
BUT IT'S ENERGETIC.

THE ENERGETIC EXCHANGE...
IS: YOU FEELING THE FEELINGS
OF RECEIVING IT BEFORE IT ARRIVES.

This is to be used PRACTICALLY.
It's not to be abused.
Or taken for granted...
Or taken lightly.

BUT BEWARE WANTING SOMETHING
FOR THE WRONG REASONS...

That's one thing I learned...
Wanting something for the wrong reasons...

Because, I thought... 
THE HAVING WAS THE FEELING.
BUT THE FEELING IS THE FEELING.
THE FEELING EXISTS AS IT IS.
BECAUSE IT IS INDEPENDENT OF ANYTHING.

So the HAVING is the MOOT point.
BECAUSE PEOPLE CAN HAVE 
ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING
AND THEY CAN'T EVER FEEL "THAT."

Because "THAT" isn't about THAT.
It's not materialistic.
IT'S SPIRITUAL.
"THAT'S THE SPIRIT!" Get it?
Getting IN THE SPIRIT.
OF WHAT? JUST THE SPIRIT.

IF YOU CAN DO THAT...
"THAT" is what it's about.
Obviously, there are 2 paths.
ONE LIGHT, ONE DARK.

THE MORE YOU STAY ON THE LIGHT SIDE...
...The more you STAY on the light side.

That's the favor. THE PAYMENT.
THE EXCHANGE.
DEPENDS ON WHAT PATH YOU'RE ON.
Dark energy exchange or light energy exchange?
Dark for dark, light for light.
YOU CAN'T GET LIGHT FROM DARK
IN AN ENERGY EXCHANGE.

It's hard to explain a lot of things.
Even what I wrote doesn't really do it JUSTICE.

With energy, it's easier to SHOW than to TELL.
AND MUCH EASIER TO DO ENERGY STUFF
COVERTLY.
AND I CAN TELL WHEN SOMEONE FEELS IT.
AND, USUALLY, THEY DON'T KNOW WHERE
IT'S COMING FROM. 

AND THEY AREN'T EXPECTING IT.
AND LIKELY NEVER FELT IT BEFORE.

But when I "read" someone,
they can sense that I am
and it makes them feel weird, 
but they are aware that I'm aware of THEIR energy.

That happened with my stepfather a few times.
He knew I could sense him sensing me sensing him.
BUT HE DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING.
NEITHER DID I.
HOW COULD HE BRING IT UP, THOUGH?
IT PUTS PEOPLE IN THEIR HEAD.
AND THEY KNOW THEY DIDN'T IMAGINE IT.
BECAUSE THEY CAN FEEL IT.

Just like when I "cloak" they can ONLY feel
THE ENERGY I'M PUTTING OUT.
NOT THE ENERGY I WITHHOLD.
If that makes any sense.

Most of it is very hard to put into words
because there aren't any easy ways of putting it.
BUT MOSTLY, IT'S HARD TO "EXPRESS" IT.
Expression has mostly been difficult for me.
Writing is different, but other than that...

That's why it's very easy to underestimate me.
BECAUSE I CONCEAL SO MUCH MORE
THAN ANYONE IS AWARE I CONCEAL. 
I GOT SO GOOD AT DOING IT
THAT NOBODY KNOWS I'M DOING IT.

SO THEY ONLY LOOK AT ME
THROUGH A CERTAIN LENS.

One, because I keep sooooo much to myself...
Two, it's EASY TO ASSUME SOOOOO MUCH.
And that's what MOST people do when it comes to me.
LIKE THERE'S NOTHING UNDER THE SURFACE
OF WHATEVER THEY ASSUME ABOUT ME.

BUT THEY FEEL SOMETHING DIFFERENT ABOUT ME.
AND OFTEN, IT MAKES PEOPLE FEEL A TYPE OF WAY.

Either people APPRECIATE IT or they HATE IT.
THEY USUALLY HATE IT
BECAUSE IT MAKES THEM FEEL INSECURE.
IF THEY ARE SECURE ABOUT THEMSELVES...
IT MAKES THEM FEEL SEEN, HEARD.
THEN THEY VALUE IT.

Often... They like it, want it, 
BECAUSE THEY DO FEEL SEEN AND HEARD.
BUT they aren't entitled to it.
Just because they want it, doesn't mean they are entitled to it.
That goes for everything.

***JUST BECAUSE SOMEONE WANTS SOMETHING FROM YOU***
DOESN'T MEAN THEY ARE ENTITLED TO IT!!!

If it was THEIR choice, they'd get what they want.
BUT IT ISN'T THEIR CHOICE.
IT'S YOURS.
ANYTHING OF YOURS...
THAT IS YOUR CHOICE, NOT THEIRS.

Like if it was that guy's choice who I marry
IF IT WAS HIS CHOICE IF I MARRY HIM...
HE'D GET WHAT HE WANTED, BUT IT ISN'T.

BUT HE SHOULDN'T BE TRYING 
TO GET SOMETHING HE WANTS
JUST BECAUSE HE WANTS IT....
WHEN IT'S NOT HIS CHOICE.

THAT is manipulation. 
You can't force what the universe has already lined up.
IF YOU TRY, YOU'LL FIND OUT.
F*CK AROUND, FIND OUT.
THAT is what KARMA is about.
THE universal f*ck around and find out.

I don't talk about this stuff to most people in my life.
MOST OF THEM WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND
BECAUSE they don't get it.
THEY don't even see anything about me
UNDERNEATH WHAT I SHOW OR EXPRESS.
Or what they assume about me...

It got to a point where I only got comfortable writing about it.
Because...
MOST PEOPLE ARE TOO BUSY TRYING TO TEACH ME THINGS
THAT THEY THINK I DON'T ALREADY KNOW.
AND IT SHOWS HOW THEY THINK.
AND HOW THEY LOOK AT ME.

They don't know WHAT I know.
They just assume that I don't know this or that.
AND ASSUME THAT I NEED THEM TO "GUIDE" ME.
Because the "guiding" me feeds their EGO.
THE EGO THEY CLAIM NOT TO HAVE.

But when you know how to "guide" yourself...
It makes people feel a type of way.

BECAUSE WHEN YOU DO, 
YOU DON'T "NEED" ANY "GUIDE."

It's cool to talk the talk. It's another to walk the walk.
The WALK is the experience.

I can talk (write) all about this, 
but certain things I write about are things I've actually experienced.
And even certain things I've actually experienced...
Are extremely hard to put into words.
Because it's like another level in another type of language.
Energy has a specific "language."
And interpreting it... Gets tricky. 
Because I can "sense" it but have to try to "decode" it
ENERGETICALLY.
And sensing it while trying to decode it...
Then what do you do with it when you decode it?
WELL, YOU CAN KEEP IT TO YOURSELF.
KEEP YOUR CARDS CLOSE TO YOUR CHEST.

I saw a meme thing once where one of the Kardashians...
She was at the World Poker Tournament thing...
SHE WAS WEARING MIRRORED GLASSES.
ALL HER CARDS WERE REFLECTED ON THE LENSES
OF HER GLASSES!

That's kind of how it is. Or what it is like.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO LET ANYONE SEE YOUR CARDS.
I DON'T. Most people are unaware that I even have any cards.
BECAUSE I KEEP VERY QUIET ABOUT EVERYTHING.
BUT I KNOW THEY SENSE THINGS ABOUT ME
AND THEY DON'T LIKE IT.
AND DON'T LIKE ME BECAUSE OF CERTAIN THINGS.
THAT THEY PICK UP ABOUT ME.

Because around anyone else, they don't act like that.

Like my cousin's girlfriend at our grandmother's funeral, recently.
IF ANYONE ELSE HAD SAT NEXT TO HER...
SHE WOULDN'T HAVE ASKED MY COUSIN

IF HE WANTED TO SIT SOMEWHERE ELSE...
BECAUSE THEY JUST SAT DOWN.

She sensed something about me she doesn't like
AND SHE DOESN'T KNOW ME.

Whatever it is about me, it makes her feel insecure.
BUT THAT'S MY COUSIN FFS.
THE SAME AGE AS MY YOUNGEST BROTHER...

Anyway... It does bug me sometimes.
It's the price I pay for being "different."
AND DIFFERENT MAKES PEOPLE FEEL WEIRD.
I don't know why, it just does.

But I'd rather be the way I am than the way most people are.
Being different, energetically... People REALLY don't like it.
Because they can't TELL immediately what's different about me.
BECAUSE I DON'T MAKE IT APPARENT.
BECAUSE WHAT IS DIFFERENT ABOUT ME
ISN'T SOMETHING I GO AROUND TELLING ANYONE ABOUT.

Hundreds of years ago, they would have burned me at the STAKE.
I don't know how, when, or why it stopped...
Did they think they k*lled ALL the witches?!
Whew! They're all GONE! 

But really, I'm only at the tip of the iceberg. 
It goes so much deeper than this.
I know that it does, but I haven't really delved that deep, yet.

Even the very tip... It's very significant.
The more significance it has, the more significance it has.

Sometimes I get scared of it.
Because of that time I "asked" to see something...
What I saw was: 3 kids playing at a park.
I thought: innocent enough...
THEN ONE KID GETS A KNIFE OUT OF THE SANDBOX.
AND STABS ANOTHER KID WITH IT...

And I "broke" out of it because I thought it was a "disturbing thought."
BUT I WAS ACTUALLY SEEING IT BEFORE IT HAPPENED.
IT HAPPENED 3 MONTHS AFTER I SAW IT.
EVERY SINGLE DETAIL.
DOWN TO THE COLOR OF THE SLIDE...

THAT scared me. And I don't know if it was something dark
showing me something dark.
Or if it was something light showing me something dark.
Something I was supposed to "warn" someone about.

BECAUSE THE PERSON WHO TOLD ME IT HAPPENED...
WAS CLOSE TO THE MOTHER OF THE KID WHO GOT STABBED.
YES, THE KID DIED.

I DIDN'T TELL HIM THAT I "SAW" IT.
AND I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS A PREMONITION.
But was something dark trying to plant it in my mind
FOR IT TO ACTUALLY COME TO PASS?

It's hard to know WHAT was showing me.
But I "asked" to see something.

That was the only time I "asked."
The fact that it happened the exact way I saw it...
Down to specific details...
SCARED ME.

But if I knew it was a premonition...
Maybe I could have warned someone.
WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO SAY?
"DON'T LET YOUR KIDS GO ALONE TO THE PARK"?

But I "sensed" other stuff...
I'm pretty sure I wrote about this before...
The energy "pulls" I get...
And the things that I "get" like names...

That time I "connected" to a spirit of a guy...
Someone I dated had a room in a basement.
AND I SENSED "SOMETHING" there. 
Lingering and watching...
It was only ONE that I sensed.
There was more than ONE.

Anyway, I decided to "ask" if it wanted to tell me something.
So it told me they got sh*t in the head over drugs.
Nothing else was told to me.
Just that.

I was on the bus with someone after that.
We were going by the place on the bus.
This was a couple of years later.

The guy I was on the bus with, I didn't tell him about that.
BUT HE TOLD ME ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED.
IT WAS CONFIRMATION.

He didn't give me FULL or ALL the details.
HE just told me that someone got sh*t outside the house.
AND THAT IT WAS ABOUT DRUGS.

When the "spirit" was telling me.
He said he was sh*t in the driveway.

There were times I could tell that someone had died somewhere.
I can "sense" spirits around and sometimes they tell me their "name."
I can "sense" male or female. And if they want to talk, they will. 
But I can also "sense" if something's light or dark.
USUALLY, but not always.

There is a "presence" in my apartment.
It doesn't feel light.
I keep the door to that room closed.
To give it space.
And I don't feed it energy.

I shouldn't even be writing about it.
ONLY TO ILLUSTRATE SOMETHING...

IN A DREAM I HAD...
I WAS WALKING PAST THE ROOM
AND THE DOOR WAS OPEN.
I STOOD AT THE DOORWAY AND SHOUTED:
"I'M NOT AFRAID OF YOU!"
AND... A light turned on in the room.
THAT SCARED ME.
Because if it could turn on the light...
WHAT ELSE CAN IT DO?

I know dreams are mostly dreams, 
but there's a part of me that feels that there could be more to it.

Kind of like I was trying to challenge it
to give me something to be scared of. 
"Oh yeah? You're not scared of me?!"

Anyway, I shouldn't even give it any thought at all.
Because any attention gives it "steam."
But I have had others who've stayed here...
THEY'VE FELT IT.

When I lived in the house my Grandparents owned...
I had a few friends over when my grandmother wasn't home.
They could feel whatever was there.
Whatever it was "watched" a lot.
BUT I ONLY FELT IT WHEN I WAS ALONE.
I never felt it when I was around my Grandparents.

Maybe I sensed it and they couldn't? I don't know.
If they did, they never said anything, 
BUT MY MOTHER FELT IT, TOO.

Whatever it is was mostly in the basement.
Pretty sure I wrote about this before... 
BUT... I had my room in the basement when I was a teenager.
I was sitting on the side of my bed. Not doing anything. Just sitting there.
THE CLOSET DOOR OPENED AND CLOSED.
NEVER SEEN THAT HAPPEN BEFORE.

It wasn't the wind. It was in the basement.
Plus, the way the door was designed...
IT HAD A LATCH ON THE INSIDE OF THE DOOR.
SO WHEN THE DOOR WAS CLOSED, IT WAS LATCHED.

THE ONLY WAY FOR IT TO OPEN...
AND CLOSE AGAIN...

IS IF THE KNOB ACTUALLY TURNED.

It was as though someone or something just opened the door, 
walked through the door and closed it behind them.

It took me a bit to go look in the closet.
IT FREAKED ME OUT.
AND I DIDN'T KNOW IF WHATEVER IT WAS
WAS STILL IN THE CLOSET OR WHAT.

When I looked, there was nobody or nothing there.

When I told my Grandmother what happened...
She told me that the closet used to be the entrance to the wine cellar.

I always got that someone committed s*icide in the wine cellar.
I really didn't like the laundry room. 
I ALWAYS KEPT THE DOOR CLOSED.
I ALWAYS FELT WATCHED IN THE WHOLE HOUSE,
BUT ESPECIALLY IN THAT ONE PLACE.

Eventually, I got a bit courageous.
My Grandfather had a work bench type of area next to the wine cellar.
I used to sit there to do my homework in the 7th grade.
I also got interested in taking old phones apart and putting them back together.
So that's where I would sit and do those things.

Anyway, when it was just me in that house...
THE ONLY ROOM I FELT "SAFE" IN...
Was the room that was "added" to the original house.
Because it was as though that part wasn't actually part of the house
since it was added onto it.
LIKE WHATEVER IT WAS... 
COULDN'T LEAVE THE "HOUSE."
So it couldn't "enter" the part that was added on.
If that makes any sense...

Because the original house...
I can't remember when it was built. 
BUT MY GRANDPARENTS LIVED THERE FOR LIKE 50 YEARS.
My Grandparents lived across the street, first.
THEN THEY MOVED THERE when my mother was a baby.
THAT WAS MY FIRST HOME.

That's where it all started.

My mother told me something freaky...
She was looking out the window
and she heard my Grandfather's voice saying
WE'RE HOME!
But... My Grandparents were only just pulling into the laneway!

When it comes down to it, it's energy.
Whatever those "spirits" are... They are energy.
BUT THEY KNOW HOW TO MANIPULATE ENERGY.
To be able to "speak."
And yeah, I had one speak right into my EAR once.
It sounded extremely "ancient."
A man's voice: "Wake up!" when I was asleep.

I KNOW IT WASN'T A DREAM
OR MY IMAGINATION
BECAUSE I HEARD IT PLAIN AS DAY.
AS THOUGH SOMEONE ACTUALLY SPOKE IN MY EAR.

That only happened once. But it happened.
But yeah, they know how to manipulate energy
to "speak" and "show" us stuff.

It can get kind of scary. Especially when it just starts.
And yeah, I thought I was going crazy, 
but I had confirmations about it.
Like that guy telling me on the bus when we were passing.
And when that other guy told me about the kid at the park.

Mostly it's been things that already happened...
Except a few times...

It's easier to pick up on energy that is still lingering there.
FOR WHATEVER REASON.
But... Maybe there was a reason that it was still there.
Like from years before my Grandparents bought that house.
Years before I was born. Decades even...

But energy can't be destroyed. 

There was something I read that gave me a bit of pause for thought.
He said: What if the light we see when we die...
IS THE LIGHT IN A DELIVERY ROOM
WHEN WE'RE BEING BORN INTO A NEW LIFE?

Maybe it's a "loop."

Something crossed my mind.
What if the "ghosts" in our timeline...
What if WE are the "ghosts" in THEIR timeline
AND VICE VERSA?

That we are each other's ghosts?

But I know FOR SURE WITHOUT A DOUBT
THAT IT'S ALL VERY REAL.
BECAUSE I'VE EXPERIENCED IT.
I probably experienced it wayyy before I even knew it.

Because I used to be able to "see" some.
Once, my mom took me to an old museum I loved going to.
I've always been drawn to that place...

Anyway, the museum used to have activities for kids.
Once I was there with my mom and I saw a "lady."
She was going to the upstairs area.
I was following her. I thought there was an actual lady.
BECAUSE I SAW HER. NOBODY ELSE DID
AND THEY DIDN'T KNOW WHAT I WAS TALKING ABOUT.
I think I was around 3 or 4 years old.

The museum itself was the homestead of a founder of this city.
MOST OF THE DIFFERNT AREAS
ARE NAMED AFTER SOMEONE.

Like: Billing's Bridge... 
Named after the BILLINGS FAMILY.
The bridge he built, was a wooden bridge.
BUT THE AREA is called Billings' Bridge.

Bell's Corners was named after the BELL family.
Tunney's Pasture is named after TUNNEY.
And it used to actually be a pasture at one point.

So there's a lot of history in this city 
that most are unaware of or don't care about.

But definitely something here, I don't know what or why.
Or why I can feel, hear, and sometimes see them.

BUT CERTAIN FREQUENCIES...
Like whatever is here that tried to scare me...
AND IT JUMPED ON ME ONCE!
Maybe it was trying to jump INTO me.
But I caught it trying to do that...
Maybe it did before, without me knowing...

I don't try talking to it.
But I know that it tries feeding off my energy. 
Because I feel it when it tries to.
I feel it right now, writing about it
WHICH IS WHY I SHOULDN'T.

But the ONLY reason I did was to talk about
THE ENERGY BEHIND THINGS.
AND THAT THINGS ARE ENERGETIC.