About Grief

 A friend who I had a falling out with reached out to me
to tell me her daughter passed away suddenly. 

She and I were the same age when we had our children.
My son is close to the age her daughter was. Very young. 

I won't include the personal details, but one thing she told me:
"I reached out to you because I knew you would understand."

I've had many times I've grieved my son while he's still alive.
All the times I've missed him so much. 
Stuck in my head and my heart about him...
Painfully, but I had to try to get back to myself. 

What is harder is knowing you won't see them again.
Or talk to them again. 
Because when they are alive you can still have some hope. 

The only saving grace, and I don't want this to get twisted...
Is that when someone we love passes...
We don't have to keep worrying about them.

That's hard to explain in the way that I mean it.

Because, of course, we're missing them and still love them...
But we don't need to worry.

But I know that "deep sorrow" tidal wave.
Actually, she was helping me get through it.

She knew what I was going through, sort of.
I know what she's going through, sort of.

So I've been staying with her the last couple of days.
To help her out with some stuff
and easier for her to sleep having someone else here with her.

It sucks that this is the thing people get about me, 
all the pain I've had. That I understand that.