It Goes To Show...

It drives me crazy. 
An example of how I don't actually get treated the way others do. 

An ex-friend was trying to start an argument with me, again, 
about my 'perception' and why I actually kicked him out.

Then in the same message saying:
See? I'm the one who took a break from this.
Break? It's over, done. 
I've been waiting for him to get his stuff
while he was taking a BREAK
from the 'fight' we're still having
over him trying to gaslight me. 
By arguing with me about my own perception!

Do you understand what this is like?
Then get accused of things that I'm not guilty of. 

Like being upset about things
that have nothing to do with the actual issue...
Am I upset about that? 
Or upset that someone would rather TRY
to make me seem stupid or crazy
JUST FOR FEELING A TYPE OF WAY
ABOUT BEING DISRESPECTED.

Then he's saying that a lot of it happened months ago...
Like it never happened
or an excuse to act like it never did.
Like they aren't facts or valid things to be upset about?

IT WAS MONTHS AGO BECAUSE 
THAT'S HOW LONG I'VE BEEN WAITING
FOR YOU TO COLLECT THE REST OF YOUR THINGS
WHILE YOU WERE TAKING A BREAK
FROM WHAT? YOUR OWN BS?
OR HAVING TO FACE ANY OF IT?

But I'm the issue for calling certain things out.
Things that people MY AGE should know by MY AGE.

Since they should already know...
Why should I be the one to explain that
and then have the audacity to say what they want
about MY perception of events?

It's not about my perception about the events.
It's about the facts of the events.
The facts themselves.

It's like the people who want to ignore the facts
want me to ignore the facts, too. 
Because why should they look at the facts
when they don't want to?

That's pretty much the way it's been for too long.

There were certain facts that I don't want to look at.
There are certain facts that I wish I didn't have to look at. 
Do the facts stop being facts if I don't want to
or don't know how to deal with something?
The facts remain. 

Just like it does with everything else.
Regarding everything else, too.
Nobody's exempt from facts being facts.

People can't just imply something
or think something applies when it doesn't
and just decide what they're going to do based on that.

It seems to happen a lot.
One video I saw... It was a guy being attacked by a cop, 
the cop was trying to "detain" him
because he was telling the cop to look at his recept
That shows that he did, in fact, pay for the frozen pizza
That he was accused of stealing.

That they would have realized
Instead of automatically thinking what they thought.

Someone and I had a conversation about some of this, tonight.
He said that it matters what something "looks like."
So if it "looked like I was doing something that I wasn't doing"
the fact that I wasn't actually doing it somehow didn't matter
because only the fact that something looked a certain way, mattered.

It's like they'd rather make it seem like that.
What it looks like matters to what the actual facts are...
Because that's what they think should matter?

Like it shouldn't matter if I wasn't doing
what people say I was doing?

It just bothers me how the facts are still the facts.
In that case, I'm not doing what they accused me of doing.
Which is a fact, itself. 
They don't need to be accusing me
especially of things I'm not doing.

Like making it about whether or not I understand the facts
when people don't have to repeat themselves to me, 
yet I have to repeat myself, constantly. 

Not about the facts, themselves.
Just whether or not I understand them. 

Today, I got accused of things I'm not guilty of. 
One, again, of being upset about something I wasn't upset about.
It's like a game to them. 
They'll accuse you of things
then when you refute anything,
they just ignore it.
And ignore you. 

*Me refuting*
"I'm not reading that."

Just like sticking your fingers in your ears
not listening to your mom scold you
because how dare she say anything?

Why should you listen to her?
Doesn't matter she fed you and changed your diapers etc.

But why listen to anything
that they don't want to hear?
Let alone reflect on or think about?

But having standards for how I want to be spoken to. 
And treated, especially in my home. 

Doesn't mean my standards are too high.
Asking for the bare minimum. 

Asking some people to respect the exact same wishes
they would have in the exact same circumstances.

Circumstances that weren't all caused by me.
Especially since I'm not the one doing them
like they've been doing me.

If I was doing them the way they were doing me, 
even the way they've been done by others, 
it would be different. 
Very. And they know it.