In The Name Of Dignity

Another knitting meeting today. It went alright. 
We talk about yarn, gauge, patterns, stuff like that.
We took turns talking about our ideas for the website.
I know how to set up the code for gradient text, animated text, 
hover animations, hover effects, etc. 

The knitting meeting leader doesn't like me.
I can tell by the "looks" she gives me.
She did it when she was leaving, today. 
The same look she gave me when I was leaving. 
From her place. 

It seems that they are mostly neighbors
and see each other outside of meetings.

I'm perfectly okay with just meeting for meetings. 
It's nice to meet up for meetings, though.

They take pictures of donations.
So that's what the leader 'apologized' to me about.
That when she took a picture and posted it, 
of something I made. 
That she didn't give me 'credit' for it.

Has she since? No. 
But I'm not doing it for the credit. 
The picture itself is supposed to be the credit. 

It was odd to single me out like that.
But since people tend to assume things about me...
Including what I think of myself... Apparently.
Sure, I have some pride for some things. 
Sure, I have some skills others don't have.
Sure, I have some abilities others don't have.
Sure, I'm different. 
Because I don't have to be like everyone else.
Sure, maybe there are good things about me.

Does that mean that I MUST think I'm 'better' than everyone else?
It doesn't have to mean that.
Since it doesn't have to mean that, then why should it?

Maybe I think differently than some people. 
But who am I to say how they think?
Am I the one thinking for them?
Should I be thinking for them?
Just because I'm not the one
doesn't mean I should be the one.

Today, a few ladies got to take home
some of the snacks that were left after the meeting.

Not a big deal. I was the only one who wasn't offered. 
And I didn't ask.
But I didn't hear them asking.

It doesn't matter, they are just snacks, 
but just the realization that you weren't included. 
Or thought of? I don't know.

But the looks she keeps doing at me.
I don't see her doing that to anyone else.

Anyway, today we talked about the website,
and we signed a thank you card to someone
who donated a load of yarn to us. 

Although I have way more than enough already. 
I'm hoping to make a dent in it, this year.

There are days I don't crochet or knit.
There are days I just do web stuff. 
Or what I can to get out of the grips.

There was something I heard somewhere, 
about how we keep feeling how we're used to feeling.
I realized it is true, because I hadn't felt x, y, z
for so long that I didn't remember how that felt.

So sometimes, when I feel anything remotely like x, y, z
it feels nice, but it also feels strange because it's not what I'm used to. 

So when I actually feel included, it feels nice, 
but it feels surreal, because I'm not used to it.

SOME PEOPLE LITERALLY IGNORE ME TO MY FACE.
AND HAVE SPOKEN ABOUT ME RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME
LIKE I'M NOT EVEN THERE.

So actually feeling included, as a variable...
Feels nice, but feels strange. 
Especially being singled out, etc.

A lot of the time, I feel like the token friend.
Like the friend who's the afterthought. 
But when they, themselves, are the afterthought,
I don't even get to be the afterthought. 

That's what I've been upset about. 
It's not about anyone's private relationships.
It's about IT WOULD BE NICE NOT TO BE AN AFTERTHOUGHT.
BUT IT WOULD BE NICER TO NOT BE TREATED LIKE ONE.

It's not like I EXPECT TO BE MADE A PRIORITY.
OR EVEN WANT TO BE PUT FIRST, ALL THE TIME.
BECAUSE I DON'T THINK I'M BETTER THAN EVERYONE
AND EVEN ANYONE THINKING THEY DESERVE THAT
DOESN'T MEAN THAT THEY DO.

But, yeah. Being put LAST all the time.
And when they put themselves last, 
I don't make it to last?

That's pretty much how it's been. 
BUT THE GASLIGHTING ON TOP OF IT...
And they seem shocked that I'd be insulted?
NOT BECAUSE I THINK I'M BETTER.
Nobody has to think they are better to find it insulting!

Someone even told me once: "You're not crazy
for wanting to be treated better."

Basic respect, the very least they'd want.
I shouldn't have to ask people NOT to do things
they KNOW they shouldn't do.

Yet, if I could go back in time...
I would ask myself NOT to do things
that I shouldn't have done.

But would I have listened? To anyone?

I think that some people might think I think TOO highly of myself
because I know some things they don't...

But knowing some things they don't, 
doesn't have to mean that I must, so why would they assume it?

That's what bugs me. 
A lot of things don't have to "imply" anything.
They can, but if it implies something that's assumed...
Maybe my perception's off.

It's something that I have seen, many times.
Kind of like what they call "herd mentality."

There was a video I saw where there was a massive flock of sheep.
There was absolutely NO FENCE. Only a GATE.
The sheep never left as though there was a fence that kept them in. 
And they only used the gate.
Even though they could actually go AROUND the gate!

That's the kind of stuff I see going on. 
"Everyone's like "this.""
I have to be x, y, z to "belong."

When it's like "highschool" around your "peers"
then actually outgrowing it...
If that's why I supposedly think I'm better than everyone...

People can think that, all they want. All day long.
Never "I should have treated you better."
If I even get that, while some people just get treated better.
Without having to ask for it.

But I'm not going to WAIT to be treated better, 
when they just could have.
Because if they just made me wait,
I'd just have to keep waiting for that.

And WHY when others don't have to?
They just get EVERYTHING THEY WANT
EVEN WHEN THEY ARE ASKING WAYYYY TOO  MUCH.

And I don't ask for a lot.
So even the very basic is too much?
And I have to just wait for that, maybe some day...
Maybe next time.
Maybe after a while.

I don't ask a lot because I don't want a lot.
I don't expect a lot. 
Yes, I have basic standards. 
THAT PEOPLE COULD HAVE FOR THEMSELVES.

There are plenty of people who know better than me.
Who have the sharpest of intellects of anyone I've ever met...
Who are wise beyond belief!
So why would I think I'm better than anyone?

There's no point in explaining anything to anyone
who doesn't WANT TO get it.
Won't matter what you say to them. 
EVERY FACT COULD BE SOLID FACT.
And they'd still tell you why it's not that way, it's "this way."
THEIR WAY.
Because if they can spin the narrative they want to tell people...
BECAUSE WHY WOULD YOU TELL EVERYONE
THAT YOU WERE IGNORING THEM TO THEIR FACE?
Wouldn't that make you look bad?

Especially when you do it while they've been supportive?
While you've been able to count on them to "be there for you."
All they wanted was to be able to count on you, too.
Pretty fair to only want that?

So why try to make it seem like the end of the world
TO JUST WANT TO BE ABLE TO?
Why tell someone that they just think they are better than everyone
WHEN EVERYONE JUST WANTS TO BE ABLE TO.
That's it. Nothing else.
SO WHY MAKE IT A HUGE DEAL
AND TRY TO MAKE IT INTO SOMETHING IT'S NOT
BECAUSE THAT'S ALL IT IS.

Do you know how many things I wish I was able to just do?
That others are able to just do?

Just because they are, doesn't mean I have to be, 
but maybe it would be nice. 

The nice little simple things.
And so many things that I can just do.
That I've had to learn, maybe to compensate for other things...

When it comes to things that come naturally to people...
They can't help that about themselves.
Why should they have to hide it about themselves?
Just because it doesn't come naturally to others
and they wished it did...

That's the kinds of things that I feel like bug people
about other people. 

If some people have a bigger capacity for some things than others...
Is it their fault that their capacity is bigger?

A video I saw just came to mind. To kind of illustrate the point. 
It was a news clip about how a med student was playing his cello
in the subway stations for groups of passengers,
the general public... Free performances...

Some salty female picked up the guy's water bottle
AND SMACKED HIM UPSIDE THE BACK OF THE HEAD
WITH HIS OWN WATER BOTTLE.

She just does it and storms off. 
Him playing his cello for others had nothing to do with her. 
His ability to play and skills etc have nothing to do with her. 
She has no right to just go and do it just because she feels like it.

I'm guilty of that. Doing things I felt like doing, at the time. 
Didn't give me the right to do the things I felt like doing. 
Still doesn't. Learning that lesson is important to learn young. 

When you're taught some things you thought were normal, 
doesn't mean they are normal or even okay. 

Maybe why some people do some things...
Because they think it's normal or it has become their new normal.
But doesn't make it normal or okay. 

"I'm used to this." isn't an excuse for e, f, g...

What just popped into my head is:
"I don't care if you're used to eating off the floor, I use a plate!"
But does using a plate make me think I'm better
than people willing to eat off the floor?

If something happens for me or I work towards something
that I wouldn't have if I didn't work towards it...
Does that mean I need to be smacked upside the back of my head?

That's what happened when I went to the casino with my mom and Grandmother.
We'd just gotten there, first $20, and I won in about 3 spins. 
This was years and years ago.

So my mom got mad that I'd just won and she smacked me upside the head.
Because I feel like she gets jealous sometimes, 
but she could have spent the time that I put into things
to learn the same things I am learning or have already. 

Is it my fault that I did and she didn't?
Is it my fault if I did and anyone didn't?
If it's not my fault for that, I shouldn't be treated like it is. 
Could I have helped it that I won and she didn't?
Could she have just been happy that I won? For me?
And not mad at me that I did and she didn't?

But it would have been nice if she could have just been happy for me.

Watching Secret Millionaire with her once, 
she was focused on how nobody just gave HER money...
IT'S ABOUT BEING HAPPY FOR THEM.

But for those who aren't just happy for people...
Is it because their feelings of jealousy etc bigger
or overshadow their capacity to be?

I don't know.
There's a couple I know from online and they are perfect for each other.
I get to see their grandchildren growing up in their pictures.
AND I AM HAPPY FOR THEM.

So the fact that I can feel happy for people...
And I actually feel that more than happy for myself... 
Does that make me think I'm better than those who can't?

But is the fact they can't due to them not wanting to?
Or it doesn't come naturally for them?
And for those who can, is it their fault that they can?

I've been made to feel like it's my fault that I can. 

Some people have gotten weird about my ability to knit.
Instead of just being happy that I have something I enjoy, 
it was like they got mad that I made something.

Once, at a baby shower... I didn't have the money to buy something.
So I made a baby blanket for a gift. 
At showers, it's about unwrapping the baby gifts and socializing...
When the mom-to-be opened my gift, 
her grandmother seemed to be impressed that it was hand-made.
So she wanted to know who made it, 
we were all seated around, my mother told me to stand up
so the grandmother knew it was me who made it. 

And the mom-to-be seemed mad that I got that small moment of recognition. 
Because the day was supposed to be about her.
And of course I know that. 
I just made it for her because I could and I couldn't buy anything. 

Anyway, it seems people who can't just be happy for me, 
about anything are people who don't like me.
AND I'M NOT TRYING TO TAKE ANYTHING AWAY FROM THEM.
It's not my right to do that, even if I wanted to.

It wasn't to impress anyone that I made something as a gift.
It was about just giving the gift.

Anyway, there was something interesting that came up
during the knitting meeting today. 
Something I didn't know is that some countries have "approved names" lists.
So if you have a child in that country, 
you can only name them a name that's "approved."  

It makes me think of two things:
1) HOA - Home Ownership Associations...
Having certain rules and policies about things that have to be "approved."
"You can only paint your house "these" colors."
"You can only cut your grass on "these" days."

(Actually, the grass cutting - I don't know how it goes,
it's just something that popped into my head)

And 2) I actually met someone who's name is an acronym. 
His actual, given name is an acronym.

Then I brought up Frank Zappa. He gave his kids unique names.
Then someone brought up that back in the day, 
people used to name their kids "Hope" "Faith" "Charity"

A long time ago, someone told me that if I ever have a son, 
that I should name him Ocean. 
His dad wouldn't have gone for it.

And some people think they should be allowed to give a name. 
And some people think that they should be "approved."

Someone even brought up an actual case in Canada
where someone wanted to name their daughter Angel, 
but the province took her to court over it, and the parents lost.

I never heard of that happening,
but if I can find proof it did, I'll write about it.

But somehow some people can change their name to a SYMBOL
"Formerly Known As"
And others need to be "approved"...
(I'd rather just say FKA instead of saying Formerly Known As).


I'm not sure why exactly that Canada decriminalized hard drugs.
I don't know if it was some mental health excuse 
about drug addiction being a stigma.

There are people who don't want all the negative things
that come with addiction. 
Like drugs in public places.

I was shown a picture of someone's legs handing outside a bus door
because that person died getting off the bus 
after he injected ON the bus...

By far, one of the most wtf things I saw on a bus...
A guy was sitting in the back of the bus
HUFFING SPRAY PAINT.
On. The. Bus.

The driver saw him do it, and stopped the bus,
and dude had to gtfo the bus...

But... Are you even aware at that point?
Or was dude so delusional that he thought he could just do that?
Maybe a new low or level of wtf...
HUFFING. SPRAYPAINT. ON. THE. BUS.

Watching the house of commons lately. 
B.C has a huge drug problem, and it's been really across the country. 
So, B.C had some pilot program and now they want to REVERSE IT.
And the "drug experiment policies" have been discussed.

If they knew the effects of the project were going to be, 
and were TOLD and WARNED about it, 
AND STILL WENT FOR IT... 
AND NOW WANT TO REVERSE IT...
WHY WERE THEY "ALLOWED" TO DO IT?

"We're telling you this is a BAD idea..."
"We don't want to listen to the facts."
THEN WHY... BE LIKE:
"Okay, we'll go ahead with it, anyway?"
So they could SEE why they were TOLD it was a bad idea?
Or for them to say "Okay, we see why, now."
Or for them to say
"Help us! We're drowning in the mess we asked for."

That's what the Universe is like.
"Welp, if you really want to... But... If you do..."
Free will is like that.

All the people who have cried to me
about how people have DONE THEM, 
YET STILL CHOOSING PEOPLE
WHO HAVE DONE THEM THAT WAY...

As an example, a guy told me his brother cut his throat, 
tried to k*ll him, but they're "cool" now.
So it's like he didn't even do that.
Water under the bridge.
Brotherly love.

He told me the story of what happened. 
He said that he embarrassed the brother in front of his girl
and his brother was so p*ssed at being embarrassed
that he tried to k*ll him.
Literally.

How dare HE make himself look BETTER than ME
IN FRONT OF MY GIRL!!! 
That's what happened.

I wish I was making that up.
But it's like when he's even putting his brother FIRST
AFTER THE FACT...
WHAT DOES HE OWE TO HIS BROTHER?
AFTER JUST DOING THAT?
WHAT RIGHTS DOES HE THINK HE HAS?

These are the questions I ask to get people to think.
People who don't like thinking
don't like questions like these
and they don't like me for asking them. 

But also, they don't like the fact that I am the one bringing it up.
If it came from someone else, they might ask themselves.
They might think about it.
Instead of making up some reason as to why they won't.

"You're this and that. It's because of YOU
that I won't ask myself what you just asked me."
"Why should I ask myself? Where's your success story?"

I am 40 years old and I'm getting this from people my age.
So then why should I waste my time?

WAITING FOR SOME DAY FOR SOMEONE TO TREAT ME
LIKE THEY TREAT EVERYONE ELSE.

Would they listen to someone else
WITH OR WITHOUT A SUCCESS STORY?
Or just ask ME where's MINE?

Should it even matter?
For anyone to consider any points I make?

There's a saying:
Bees don't waste time explaining to flies
why honey's better than sh*t.

Should I waste time worrying about what others think
about any time, effort, etc I put into reaching my goals?
They'll judge me anyway. 

FOR NOT CARING ABOUT BRAND NAMES.
But I think I'm better because I don't care
about things some people seem to be told that they should care about?

"Well... Society says...." *Back to the gate*
What would happen if ONE sheep REALIZED
they could just go AROUND the gate
instead of being herded through it?
And waiting for your turn to pass on through
with everyone else, like everyone else?

Would the other sheep get mad at the sheep that realized?
Just because they didn't?
THERE WAS NO FENCE.
NOTHING SAYING THEY HAD TO GO THROUGH THE GATE.
THEY ALL JUST FOLLOWED EACH OTHER.

Just because I don't want to follow certain trends or whatever
doesn't mean I think I'm better than those who do...
It's that I don't want to follow the trends
Just because they are doing it.

IMAGINE IF WE ALL JUST ATE TIDE PODS?
Imagine the people who make and sell them going: WTF!!!??
But imagine having to stop making them because of that...
Because of people who chose to eat them...

It'd be like "Nobody can use forks now...
Billy put one in the electrical outlet (or toaster)."
"No forks for anyone, now."

I heard that Japan is fed up with tourists going to Japan
and disrespecting their culture
because of how ignorant some people actually are.
Can't say I blame them. 
You'd think basic decency, basic respect, common sense...
Wouldn't be a lot to ask for.
FOR BEING IN THEIR COUNTRY
NOT JUST DOING WHATEVER YOU WANT
LIKE YOU'RE HANGING OUT
IN YOUR BACK YARD.

Because in THAT case, if you were in your backyard, 
you can do whatever you'd like, 
within reason, I guess. Reasonable people...

BUT WHEN YOU GO TO A PLACE LIKE JAPAN, 
THEY HAVE THEIR CULTURE
AND SHOULDN'T HAVE TO ASK TO BE RESPECTED.

It's kind of like Quebec. Some take pronunciation very seriously.
Because when it sounds like someone's not even trying, 
it looks like their language is being mocked. 

I knew a guy who doesn't know French. 
He told me a story about when he was in Montreal
and he was trying to speak French to the taxi driver.
His pronunciation was so bad that the taxi driver got offended
AND KICKED HIM OUT OF THE TAXI
BECAUSE IT SEEMED LIKE THE GUY WAS TRYING TO MOCK HIM
FOR BEING FRENCH.

He was just terrible at French.

But Quebec, they have their ways.
I respect their desire for sovereignty,
BUT THEY ARE STILL A PART OF CANADA.

The last referendum was supposed to be the last
and I think there were three of them.
A vote for Quebec to separate from Canada.

If people can call a vote for that, 
how come we're not calling a vote on other things?
Things that affect everyone in the country?

Because the government just wants to do what it decides to do?
So they can ask for pilot projects and see what a bad idea it is?
Did we get to vote on those?
Who gets to call a vote on them?

If people are doing drugs because the economy is sh*t
and they feel hopeless that they're even still alive...
Maybe some hope might help.

But just because there are opportunities
doesn't mean people are going to take them.

Just like just because there are drugs
doesn't mean everyone's going to take them. 

Pretty sure I don't have to ever do them to know it's not a good idea.

But if someone's going to tell me that I think I'm better than everyone
because I have at least some standards for myself, now?
Did I always? No.
Do I know what it's like being high on drugs? Yes.
Do I choose not to consume certain substances? Yes.
Because they are illegal? No. Because I just don't want to.

Have I been wayyy too drunk? Yes.
Do I choose not to drink anymore? Yes.
Because I don't want to anymore.
Just like I don't want to smoke cigarettes anymore.
I don't want to waste my time on certain things. 
I don't want to waste my money on certain things.

Do I expect people to be like me? Just like me?
No. I actually don't.
But I also recognize some things in some people
THAT I USED TO DO.
That only means that I recognize it
as something I used to do.

I never said "Don't do this! I stopped, you SHOULD too!"
1) It'd be pointless for me to even say that.
2) Who am I to tell people?

But of course, if something's wrong, it's wrong. 
Other than that, your choices. 
I'm not responsible for the choices others make. 
Because they could have chosen not to do a lot of things.
They could have asked themselves
WHY I WAS EVEN SUGGESTING
THAT THEY ASK THEMSELVES
BY ASKING THEM...
But it's like people get offended by what I'm asking. 
Even though the reason I'm asking
shouldn't be regarded as offensive.

Because the reason is for them to stop and think.
BUT CAN I FORCE THEM TO DO IT?

I sometimes have gotten mad that people
WHO I WANTED TO JUST GET THE POINT
ABOUT WHAT I WAS SAYING 
AND WHY I WAS SAYING IT.

But getting mad at those people for not listening, 
not caring to listen, assuming, being ignorant...

ISN'T GOING TO WAKE THEM UP TO UNDERSTAND
WHY I WANT THEM TO GET THE POINT.

Or why they "should" get the point.
But why should they? Where's my success story?

Because if they did and realized there's no point
in doing things they don't have to do...

Maybe it would blow their mind that things they assumed about me
just isn't the case about me and never was.

But that might require "why they should."
They could, but...
And with others - like them - they do.

Certain people with a type of lifestyle. 
Makes me think there's probably all kinds of different "gates"
since there's so many segments of society.

But it just bugs me that when I see a "gate"
and when I see there isn't a fence... 
It's like people get mad at me.

"She looks at things differently... She must think x, y, z."
Who are they to tell me what or how I think? Do they know?
When people are too busy arguing with me...
To even grasp what I'm saying...

When they hear my voice and assume whatever about me.
One time, this is slightly embarrassing...
I'd answered the phone and someone asked me if my parents were home.
I hung up.

There are people going: "How dare you assume my gender."
While some people are actually adults.

If I think it's questionable, I'll ask something. 

But it's like "her voice" makes me think "x, y, z"
She looks like e, f, g, so she must be j, k, l...
That's the mentality that doesn't have to be the mentality. 
Since I know that it doesn't have to be MY mentality,
why should that make anyone mad?
Or think that I think I'm "superior."

Don't I get to choose what my mentality is?
So since it's my choice, why should I be expected
to follow people who's mentality is different from mine?
For the sake of following them? Joining them? Belonging?
Belonging to what, though?

"Follow us so you can belong!" To what?
Something I don't want to belong to?
Should people get mad at me for not wanting to?

But even in my own family, I should want the same as they do...
Because not wanting those means I think I'm "superior"? 
Shouldn't it mean it's my choice?

But not wanting that... Makes me "not" like them...

It's fine to want that, I used to. 
But it should be fine not to, too.

But if someone is going to assume pretty much everything about me...
Including what I think of myself... 
How I'd react to something...
That I do things I don't.
That I did things I didn't.

Is there a point in pointing out that they don't have to?

Or maybe they assume they can't ask me
because they assume I would lie.

"I can't talk to you." Did they try or did they assume?
Or maybe because they made other assumptions?
That made them assume other things?

Who am I to assume what they assume...
But being treated a type of way because of what people assume
or thought about you...

It bothers me because HOW WOULD THEY KNOW?
ANYTHING ABOUT ME?

Just because they think they do because of what they assume...
DOESN'T MEAN THEY DO.
IT ONLY MEANS THEY THINK THEY DO.

But I've just had to let everyone be wrong about me.
Because if they want to be, they will be.
They can convince themselves of anything to the contrary.
DO I HAVE THE TIME TO EXPLAIN
WHY CERTAIN FACTS ARE FACTUAL?
Or to explain myself all the time?
Why should I even have to?
For people who ask ME if I understand to understand?
Should I have to articulate myself to death?
In the exact way for a slight chance?

What is so exhausting about it is how mind-blowing it is
to see a new low and get blamed for it on top of it.
WHEN IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU.
BECAUSE IT'S LITERALLY THEIR CHOICE.
So how is it MY fault that YOU chose...
Is it YOUR fault that I chose...

I don't know why but that female at the Tim's...
Is it the employee's fault that she CHOSE
to drop down and take a huge crap
AND THROW IT AT THEM?

Some might say it is because they could have just let her.
If they were asking because they needed to take a crap.
It would be humane to allow them to just use the washroom. 

And some might say that even though she was livid
that they didn't seem to have the humanity...

Doesn't mean she had to drop down, take a huge crap...
And throw it at them. 

Just because that's what she felt like doing...
She could have made a different choice.

Being treated like "No, you can't use the toilet, but everyone else can..."
When using the toilet should be a basic thing.  
Even in the name of dignity. 

I've just come to the conclusion that often, it's futile
to get people to see your point of view
when all they want to see is their own.

Something I saw once was along the lines of:
Aguing with someone who is capable of seeing another point of view
Is like a discussion, not a fight. 

That's what bugs me. People trying to act like I'm trying to fight them 
over "superiority" or whatever else they assume I'm doing or trying to do. 
WHEN THEY COULD JUST TALK TO ME.

I don't have to agree with them. They don't have to agree with me. 
Or tailor to my expectations or them, mine. 
Just the very basic things should go without saying or asking. 
Even the simplest things out of respect and courtesy. 
Decency, even.

That's what drop-down-take-a-crap-at-Tim's lady was p*ssed about.
They have the decency to let others use the toilet...
Why can't they have the decency to let her?

And that's what has gotten me, too.
They have the decency for x, y, z...
(Who didn't have the decency not to r, s, t)
Why didn't they have the same decency for me?
Was it really that hard to?
If it's not hard to for someone else?

I know why people are upset about it.
I know why I've been upset about it.

If them, why not me, too?

I don't know why this came to mind, but...
I saw a video where a flight attendant was DEMANDING
that a passenger switch seats so a husband and wife could sit together.
It's not his fault they didn't book the seats together.
He paid for his seat.
It's not a big deal if they don't sit together, 
but he was HARRASSED
to switch seats because THEY WANTED to sit together.

People literally think it's cool to harass people
to give them something they want just because they want it.

WHY SHOULD THEY GET SOMETHING JUST BECAUSE THEY WANT IT?
Should I get something just because I want something?
Should I expect to?
Because if I should, why haven't I?
Probably because things I wanted weren't a good idea.

People being told they should want the newest d, e, f...
Aren't being told what they really should want.

Who am I to assume anyone's capacity to understand something?
Because if I were to assume that...
That someone doesn't "get" this or that...
And operate as though they don't, when they actually do... 

Would they operate as though they do, if they didn't assume they didn't?
Like would they treat me better if they didn't assume certain things about me?
That's what I want to know, 
but it often feels like I already know the answer.

What were their assumptions that led them to not let her use the toilet?
Why were others allowed and she wasn't?

But even on the decency factor...

Welp, they won't let her now...
Since she's not welcome back there...