So I met someone who wanted a website.
We've been working on it for like a month.
Every time I go there, to work on it with him,
he's trying to get me to eat.
1. My stomach isn't all that big so when I am full, I am full.
2. I can't work and eat at the same time. I need both hands to work.
3. I gained like 60 pounds.
I haven't been this big since after I had my son.
I was 185 pounds. I lost 70 pounds.
Now I feel like I gained it right back.
I feel heavy in my stomach, butt, and legs.
I had to tell him today that I appreciate his hospitality,
I just can't eat so much. I need to work.
It feels like I am limited in what I can get done over there.
Plus, I have had a plethora of technical difficulties
and when I try to explain what the issues are....
He doesn't understand that they aren't things I know how to fix
IMMEDIATELY.
Sometimes it takes me a bit to fix it.
Or change what he wants me to change.
People think that it only takes a few days.
And IDEALLY, IT SHOULD.
He also doesn't seem to understand that I need a break from time to time.
He wants things done instantly. I get that.
Most of it is time wasted trying to find a solution to the issue I am having.
And time wasted because he keeps wanting me to eat.
When I told him I'm putting on weight, he just said EXERCISE.
WHEN TF DO I HAVE TIME TO EXERCISE
WHEN I AM LITERALLY WORKING ON THIS WEBSITE
DAY AND NIGHT?!
I had to take a couple of days off because I am frustrated, tired,
stressed, and not having time for myself.
It feels like all I do is work and not make tons of money.
And people are not being f*cking patient with me.
Or understanding when they see that it was taking a long time
for the software to load
and I had to figure out how to make it run faster,
SO THAT IT WOULD OPEN SO I COULD ACTUALLY USE IT.
THEN I USE IT FOR A FEW HOURS
THEN IT STOPS OPENING AND LOADS BACKWARDS SLOWLY.
The only progress I am making is really slow.
Really, really, really f*cking slow.
Then I did the work, but for whatever reason, it's not displaying,
so then I had to do the work all over again.
I tried explaining that to him.
Because those reasons are the only reasons it's taking so long.
It's not because I'm trying to milk him for money.
It's not because I'm not working on it.
It's a lot of things are holding me back and holding me up.
If I had people working for me or whatever,
I could delegate, but I can't do that
because I'm the only one working on this.
PLUS I HAVEN'T HAD MUCH TIME TO WORK
ON MY OWN SITES, MY OWN PROJECTS....
BECAUSE I'M WORKING ON THIS 99% OF THE TIME.
I just had to get that out.
All the reasons I've been frustrated.
AND F*CKING EXHAUSTED.
He doesn't seem to get that I'm literally doing all that I can.
It's not that I don't want to get it done. I do.
Because when it is done, it is done and I don't have to keep doing it
OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN.
Working on something and not getting anywhere drives me crazy.
Especially working on something for someone
who doesn't understand why it's been taking so long and
doesn't understand all the work I already did.
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Sunday, November 12, 2023
Just Tired & Frustrated
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