So this meeting thing... It's a meeting/dinner thing with local chefs and cooks.
It's an association meeting at the college.
Chef spoke to us about it today.
He said "wear something nice."
I don't have many 'nice' clothes.
I rarely go to anything that requires me to 'dress up.'
And I'm rarely around people who are judging me
based on how I'm dressed etc.
There's a line in the text book that says:
"Dress for the group you want to belong to,
not the group you're already in." Something like this.
It may be worded differently, but that's what the message is.
So I put together an 'outfit' that hopefully Chef approves of.
I'm going to get there early to change into it.
It's so cold outside today! It's crazy!
It finally stopped snowing, but it's crazy.
All the buses are late and sliding all over the place out there.
I didn't see any accidents, but I'm sure there were some.
Yesterday, I saw drivers driving slowly on the highway
and all I could think of was:
"It's good they aren't driving like idiots."
Buses... This morning two buses didn't show up in a row.
I was almost late getting to the kitchen.
I arrived and clocked in with 1 minute to spare.
It was literally a race against the clock.
But I tried not to worry about being late.
I reminded myself that I have no control over the buses,
I have no control over traffic. I have no control over the driving of the driver,
I have no control over the traffic lights. I have no control over
how many times the bus stops and how many minutes are lost each time.
I have no control over the weather, or the temperature,
or the condition of the roads.
Then I tried relaxing into the knowing that I have no control
over any of that and I tried easing into the feeling
that it's good to have no control over any of that.
I also tried affirming that "I will be on time."
The thing with anxiety is that it happens.
The one thing that works really well is assurance.
Self-assurance is assuring yourself that things will be just fine.
Even when every fiber of your being is doubting it.
Even when you're resisting your own affirmations.
Even when you have such little faith, or none at all.
The more you assure yourself, the more you will get used to it.
And relaxing into the reliquishment of control
by saying: "The Universe knows what it's doing."
"The Universe has my back. Things are working out."
And when things do work out, you say "thank you."
The more you thank the Universe, the more it'll help you out.
Just a simple, "thanks." An acknowledgement.
"Thanks for helping me out."
"Thanks for having my back."
There was a speech about worry.
A lady said that 40% of what we worry about NEVER happens!
There have been countless times I was worried for nothing.
Just to drive myself into fear and psych myself out.
And usually when what we worry about...
IF it does happen, it's usually not as bad as we feared it was going to be.
Like my fear of missing my bus...
When I was in Toronto, I missed my bus.
My first reaction was to panic, then I asked what I can do.
So someone told me to go exchange my ticket.
I had to pay a fee, but it wasn't as much as the actual ticket costs.
The worst of it was over when I got my ticket exchanged.
Because I got my new ticket and just had to wait for the next bus.
Which came, and I got on it, I arrived back in Ottawa. All is well.
It was only the initial panic that I was stranded that scared me.
It all turned out in the end.
I had so much anxiety about my big trips.
So much that I felt sick, but everything turned out.
I got to my destination, it was great.
And going on the plane for the first time... Mega anxiety.
That turned out well, too.
40% doesn't seem like a lot, but it is closer to half than not.
The lady was putting it into a different context.
"Imagine putting a 40% down payment on a house you will never own."
We'd say that is crazy. It's like worrying, though.
Worrying about something that isn't going to happen.
But we don't KNOW that it isn't going to happen.
We think it MIGHT happen.
And worrying about it is some evil way of 'preparing' for it
IN CASE it happen. Because it MIGHT.
But why would we make a 40% down payment on a house we will never own?
So why get invested in a fear that may never happen?
Like my fear of judgment tonight.
maybe like 40% of these people won't be judging me at all.
Anyway, I have to get ready to go there to get ready haha.
Getting ready to get ready.
There's a bigger thing on Friday, but I'll write about that when I get back.
It's an association meeting at the college.
Chef spoke to us about it today.
He said "wear something nice."
I don't have many 'nice' clothes.
I rarely go to anything that requires me to 'dress up.'
And I'm rarely around people who are judging me
based on how I'm dressed etc.
There's a line in the text book that says:
"Dress for the group you want to belong to,
not the group you're already in." Something like this.
It may be worded differently, but that's what the message is.
So I put together an 'outfit' that hopefully Chef approves of.
I'm going to get there early to change into it.
It's so cold outside today! It's crazy!
It finally stopped snowing, but it's crazy.
All the buses are late and sliding all over the place out there.
I didn't see any accidents, but I'm sure there were some.
Yesterday, I saw drivers driving slowly on the highway
and all I could think of was:
"It's good they aren't driving like idiots."
Buses... This morning two buses didn't show up in a row.
I was almost late getting to the kitchen.
I arrived and clocked in with 1 minute to spare.
It was literally a race against the clock.
But I tried not to worry about being late.
I reminded myself that I have no control over the buses,
I have no control over traffic. I have no control over the driving of the driver,
I have no control over the traffic lights. I have no control over
how many times the bus stops and how many minutes are lost each time.
I have no control over the weather, or the temperature,
or the condition of the roads.
Then I tried relaxing into the knowing that I have no control
over any of that and I tried easing into the feeling
that it's good to have no control over any of that.
I also tried affirming that "I will be on time."
The thing with anxiety is that it happens.
The one thing that works really well is assurance.
Self-assurance is assuring yourself that things will be just fine.
Even when every fiber of your being is doubting it.
Even when you're resisting your own affirmations.
Even when you have such little faith, or none at all.
The more you assure yourself, the more you will get used to it.
And relaxing into the reliquishment of control
by saying: "The Universe knows what it's doing."
"The Universe has my back. Things are working out."
And when things do work out, you say "thank you."
The more you thank the Universe, the more it'll help you out.
Just a simple, "thanks." An acknowledgement.
"Thanks for helping me out."
"Thanks for having my back."
There was a speech about worry.
A lady said that 40% of what we worry about NEVER happens!
There have been countless times I was worried for nothing.
Just to drive myself into fear and psych myself out.
And usually when what we worry about...
IF it does happen, it's usually not as bad as we feared it was going to be.
Like my fear of missing my bus...
When I was in Toronto, I missed my bus.
My first reaction was to panic, then I asked what I can do.
So someone told me to go exchange my ticket.
I had to pay a fee, but it wasn't as much as the actual ticket costs.
The worst of it was over when I got my ticket exchanged.
Because I got my new ticket and just had to wait for the next bus.
Which came, and I got on it, I arrived back in Ottawa. All is well.
It was only the initial panic that I was stranded that scared me.
It all turned out in the end.
I had so much anxiety about my big trips.
So much that I felt sick, but everything turned out.
I got to my destination, it was great.
And going on the plane for the first time... Mega anxiety.
That turned out well, too.
40% doesn't seem like a lot, but it is closer to half than not.
The lady was putting it into a different context.
"Imagine putting a 40% down payment on a house you will never own."
We'd say that is crazy. It's like worrying, though.
Worrying about something that isn't going to happen.
But we don't KNOW that it isn't going to happen.
We think it MIGHT happen.
And worrying about it is some evil way of 'preparing' for it
IN CASE it happen. Because it MIGHT.
But why would we make a 40% down payment on a house we will never own?
So why get invested in a fear that may never happen?
Like my fear of judgment tonight.
maybe like 40% of these people won't be judging me at all.
Anyway, I have to get ready to go there to get ready haha.
Getting ready to get ready.
There's a bigger thing on Friday, but I'll write about that when I get back.
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