Easy Come, Easy Go

Well, I went to that job. Didn't go over so well. Not as well as I'd thought, although I know I could have been worse. So after that shift the guy tells me to come in the next day. So I went in to work. He had called and left a message for me on the answering machine. When he sees me he asks if I got that message. I said I didn't get it because I hadn't been there yet. Then he says nothing more about it and lets me work there that night. Went home thinking everything was o.k because I thought the message was about shifts for next week. He left a message saying his wife wants to start training someone else. He had no f*cking balls to just be honest with me. He could have just sent me home when I got there if he didn't want me to work for him. I just thought it was extremely ignorant to make me come home to that message after working for him that night. Am I wrong?

Anyway, I'll eventually find something I'm good at doing. But for now, no more pizza. The thought of pizza makes me a bit angry. Pizza sucks.

So now I'm back at square one again. Just like always. So it seems. The people were rude there anyway. They looked at me like they thought I was an idiot. Maybe I have more sense than they do. Maybe the owner's wife felt insecure about me working there. I don't know. I don't care. Their loss. No big deal. I'll just find another place to work that pays more than some shitty pizza place.

But I'd still like to find my real purpose. I mean I have to have some skills, some employable skills... It just sucks when people don't want to give me a chance....

One more week until the big 24. No, I'm not going to drink 24 beers. My itty bitty body can't handle that much. I had 4 beers at the comedy club and I was a bit hammered. I just wanted to go out and just loosen up after all the crap.

My family is going haywire again, but I think it is a good thing this time. My brother left home after Christmas after my step-father kicked him out. My mother has to realize that all 3 of her kids moved out of there because the guy is unbearable to live with. Even she calls me up telling me that she's having a rough time. It just goes in a circle. It gets rough, it gets better, it is fine, then things get rough again. It's not my problem anymore. I want to tell her that I don't really care because she made her decisions and didn't include me in most of them. Why should I fly to her rescue? It doesn't make sense to me. I mean, I do love her, but she put herself there.

I wonder how long before she realizes these things when the kids are gone and she's the only one left to pick on. I mean it just went on and on how we are never going to be anything and never get anywhere because we were just punks and he knows everything.... I don't blame my brother for wanting out of there, but he's got his issues to work out. He's the baby of the family and this is going to be his first real time out on his own, granted he has people watching out for him. I'm not really worried, maybe a bit, but I went through it at his age so I know what it's like.

He's doing well though, he's still in school and he's got a job. He'll be legal age to be on his own soon enough, by the end of April. A 16 year old can legally rent an apartment. It is sort of scary to think about it. When I was on my own for the first time I was clueless. Now it's been almost 8 years. But it's been 10 years since I've lived at home. My cousin moved out of her parent's place when she got married. Now she lives with her husband at HIS mother's place, with their 3 kids.

I find it healthy to move out on one's own. It is a right of passage I guess. I can understand people being scared to do it if they are close to their family or whatever, but I never was real close with mine. Sometimes it scares me to even think about what it would be like to be that close to my family that I never want to move away from them. I guess that's why I haven't moved from Ottawa, yet.

There will come a day that I'll want to see much more than just this valley and I'll have the time and money to travel around, but for now here is where I'll be. I'd like to go west though, if I ever have the chance. I'd like to see the mountains. There's glacier water melting and cascading off those mountains. The purest water around. It's thousands of years old. Kokane Beer is made with glacier water. It's good beer, too. I still like my blue. They should make blue actually blue. It would be cool.

I was watching a show about the tsunami in December. It was like 2o feet of water that rose to about 100 feet once it got to the shore. The back of the wave catches up to the front of the wave, making it bigger. This wave is traveling at 400 miles an hour, as fast as a plane.

The biggest tsunami in history is the one that hit Alaska 40 years ago. It was 1,750 feet high. That's like 3 or 4 atmospheres of pressure at the bottom. Nobody could swim to the top of that. Even if they could, they'd explode because of the atmospheric pressure. They call it the Benz. It's when the gases in the blood float up to the surface, like the bubbles in a can of pop. The person would get bubbles of nitrogen in their blood. Not good. :(

It's really scary what nature can do. There's not much we can do to prevent the earth's crust from shifting. It's going to keep happening millions of years after we are all gone, but it's scary. Thankfully, I'm landlocked, but all those people out there who lost a loved one. It's really sad.