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Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Deciding on Discipline

Nothing really exciting going on until Friday. Rob and I are going to an Orchestra on Friday. We are celebrating 12 months early. It actually isn't until the 7th. On the 7th month, we went to New York. To Watertown. I was surprised at how much less things are to buy there. That is to do with taxes mostly. Technically the American dollar is still worth more than the Canadian dollar because if the real strength of the Loonie was reflected, the Americans would trade more with Mexico instead of Canada. They'd have to pay like 30% more than they were paying before the dollar rose. I'm still a bit pissed off that the Hershey's Factory moved to Mexico. Industry politics make sense, but they still piss me off.

I got a bunch of stuff done around here today. I did quite a bit of laundry. I discovered that the laundry room is now going to be open 24/7, which is pretty much the best news I heard all day today. Now I can do laundry later and I can't say, "I'll have to do the laundry tomorrow because the laundry room is closed now." I got quite a bit done today and I got it put away. I'm going through stuff in my room. I'm getting sh*t together. I feel better about this, now. I feel better that I have a starting point to work from tomorrow. I won't start cleaning feeling defeated. I'll be able to do things more quickly, because there won't be an enormous task to accomplish. I won't have to feel as though I have to climb a mountain with a tooth pick instead of an ice pick. I'll be able to relax more tomorrow, but I still have to get this place the way it should be. It took a long time today, just to make headway, but tomorrow it won't seem as hard. I know that there will be specific things that I have to focus on tomorrow, which are the things I started today. I feel as though I have overcome a great obstacle and this makes me happy. I guess the dumbest of things can make people happy, like cleaning up their apartment, or having clean clothes to wear, but I feel like I am making a breakthrough and finally getting out of the slump I was in.

I feel as though I have unlocked some power, some secret/hidden power that has needed to escape for a while. Now that I have accomplished something today, I will try to push myself harder to go further tomorrow to see how much more I can get done tomorrow. The trick is to balance it out. I do some cleaning when my kid is at school. I have time to myself when he goes to bed. I just want my apartment to look decent. The cleaner it is, the better I feel. Not just about living in a clean place, but just about myself because it makes me feel capable.

Today, my son really embarrassed me in front of a bunch of people. He decided to have a temper tantrum outside, on our way home from his school. He even went as far to say "I want a new Mommy. Not you anymore." I know he just says it to get attention, but making Mommy mad isn't the best way to get my attention. Asking me to play cars with him or draw with him is a better way to get my attention than rolling around on the grass crying and screaming.

Tomorrow, I'm going to sit him down and go over some new rules. I'm going to make up some punishments for him when he does bad things. I'm going to take away some of the things he likes when he is bad. For example, I'll take away his crayons, or not let him watch any t.v before bed. Or no stories before bed. His father suggested that I take away his night light and let him sleep in the dark. I think it would be mean, but if he is as afraid of the dark as he claims to be, it might give him an incentive to behave himself. I was pretty frustrated when I got him home, so I made him lay down and take a little nap.

So I have to sit down with him tomorrow and develop some rules to talk to him about. Maybe I will start a system or 5 chances. If I have to give him one warning, it will be a time out, if I have to give him 2 warnings, no story before bed. If I have to give him 3 warnings, it will be no t.v before bed, 4 = no t.v and no story before bed, 5 = take away his toys for a day or two. Hopefully I won't have to get to 5, but he's about to be 5. He has to learn before he gets much older that there are rules that have to be followed and he should be at least respectful enough towards me not to behave that way in public and embarrass me the way he did. I don't want him trying to pull that sh*t when he's 7 or 8. I know he's only 4 now, but he won't be 4 forever.

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