I Miss The Cottage....

My Grandfather built a cottage when my Grandmother was pregnant for my mother. It was one of my favorite places to go and I was excited at the thought of going every summer. I loved swinging on the hammick and playing the bean bag toss game that my Grandfather made. When things get out of control, I picture being there (in my mind). The place is no longer there. They took the place down and built a big house on the lot. I have seen the house they built and it was a big shock. I never want to see it again. That house doesn't belong there. I wanted that part of my life to remain constant, but everything changes and some things we just don't know how to accept because they are so hard to accept.

I have so many fond memories of that place. A few houses to the left, was a couple with a little white dog named Muffin. I loved this dog. He was my buddy. Everytime I went to the cottage, I'd go visit them and play with their dog. He'd come to the cottage with me. He used to eat chives out of the garden.... When I was really young, when I was just learning to write, I wrote Muffin a letter and I put it in his dog house. I honestly believed that he would read it and write back to me. The stupid little things that kids think! Anyway, I was disappointed when he never wrote back. He got older as I got older, I knew it was going to happen. He became blind and deaf. He got too close to a duck and the duck took the dog's eye out. Years passed after that and one day Muffin stopped coming to visit. I asked the couple about him, and they told me that he had died.... I miss that little white dog.

Once I get my scanner working, I can post pictures of the old cottage. I used to hitch-hike there when I ran away. I'd leave early in the morning. It was my home away from home. The first night I stayed there by myself, I was scared. I barely slept. I remember lighting a lattern that stayed lit all night. Although, I have put myself in dangerous situations, I've always been able to make it through safely. I am lucky that way. There was only once I got freaked out when I hitch-hiked out there. A guy that picked me up, put his hand on my thigh. I bolted out of the car as fast as I could and I hid underneath another car in someone's driveway. I stayed there until the creep left. When I was sure he was gone, I got out of there pretty fast.

Another time I was hitching a ride to Toronto (when I was 16) and a guy picks me up and he tells me that he knows a place where I can stay. So he takes me to his buddies place. I still don't know why I was so trusting and stupid enough to go with him, but I went. The place was disgusting. It was infested with roaches and I mean they were EVERYWHERE! I got out of there really fast. It took me 3 rides to get out of Ottawa that night. I finally decided that I was going to talk a guy into giving me some money, which was surprisingly easy. The guy was a complete stranger, but I told him that I was in a lot of trouble and I had to leave right away. He gave me 60 bucks. I bought a ticket to Fergus, Ontario. I had never been there, but a guy I had met the previous summer lived there and I had his address. So I decided to go. It was a crazy journey. Dangerously crazy, but I am lucky that I meet people who genuinely want to help. Then again, there are people who have tried to hurt me, maybe I'm just really lucky to be alive.