Try, Try, Try Again

They say if you fall off a horse, you should get back on and ride again. This can apply to most situations. I know why I didn't get that job at IH. I know it was because I came across as shy. I spent my whole life this way and it is something that is going to be very hard to change. I want to make some changes. I have been saying this for a long time now, but I haven't done anything. I don't know what the next step is supposed to be. I have been trying, just not hard enough. I could have tried harder in school. I could have graduated with honours if I had tried harder. I know that I could have tried harder and I should have.

I have had little or no confidence in myself and that has got to change. I have to tell myself that things in my life are going to get better because they do eventually. They have gotten better already. I am in a better possition than I had been five years ago. Things do get better, the harder you try, the more they improve. I have to take what I can get. I have to fake confidence and happiness. I have to try to smile more. I have to look them in the eyes and believe that I AM going to get that job. If I make myself believe that I already got that job, I will show them how happy I would be if I did actually have that job. Any job. A job is a job.

Today I am going to go downstairs to AJS and I am going to get a job. I have to find Fred or Mel and maybe they will help me get my foot in the door. I don't think I have a good chance of getting a job at IH, even though my employment officer called the owner of IH (She has known the owner since the company was very small) and she helped me get bumped to the top of the list. They would have hired me if I had been bilingual. I know everyone is looking for someone who is bilingual.... I know a bit of french, but not enough to be considered fluent. I will learn how to speak french, it just takes time.

I have come too far to give up now. I know that I have come a long way. I have a high school diploma and a college diploma. She told me that I have the background, all I need is confidence. I have a lot to work on. I'm going to need a little bit of help to get going, but once I get going, I'm going to really get going, and I won't even have any time to look back on the past.

My horoscope said: An event will take you to the next place to go.

• Will I get to that place in my life?
• Will I finally break free of this negativity and take the next step?
• Will I get to make the changes that I have been needing to make in my life?
• Will I realize that these things are not as hard as they seem?

If I stand my ground, I will lose a bad connection

• Is this the connection to my former self?
• Is this the connection to the past?
• Is this the connection to negativity?
• Is this the connection to misery, or a low self esteem?

I have to really want this and I do. I have been wanting this for so long now.

What have I been waiting for?

Something to just fall from the sky and into my lap?!

Nothing ever comes that easy. Everything in life has its price.

Why can't I see that the time is now and that the day is today?

Today is the day that my life is going to change.

Today is the day that I am going to change.

Today is the day that everything is going to get better.

I am going to make it happen.

I am going to change my life.

I am going to have some peace.

It's all going to begin with me.

Like they say: Saddle up today, and ride out tomorrow.

Time to ride out into the sunset.