Convocation

Today is the day that I have been waiting for (for two years). All the stress and hard work has paid off. I got my diploma today and I was close to graduating with honours. I am not the only one in my program that didn't so I can't feel bad about it. I did my best and I graduated. That is all I can ask for at this point. I think I know what my next step will be because I saw a sign today. An actual sign, but still a sign I had been asking for. I think someone has been looking down on me and trying to shine that guiding light for me. Maybe my father, maybe my grandfather. I think they were both there, watching me.... Happy that I never gave up on myself or the things that were important.

I think it went well considering a few things. A jerk behind me had his cell phone beeping like every three minutes. Then when the grad music was playing at the end before we were lead out, he started talking on his cell phone! Seriously, how rude is that?! Some people just don't give a sh*t about anyone else. That is so ignorant. Having to see the people I never wanted to see again wasn't the best experience, but atleast I will never have to see them again. I hope that I don't, but you never really can tell.

I think that T. just wanted to rub in a few things when I saw her. Like they say: Stars cannot shine forever. Eventually she will fade and burn out like a lightbulb. The best part is that she is too ignorant to realize it and when it does happen, she would never have seen it coming which will be twice as hard to accept. I think that she was upset because she didn't get an award. Isn't graduating with honours enough? I think it would be. People like her can't get enough and will never have enough until they degrade everyone around them and make them feel like sh*t while making their own egos soar higher than before. Remember that the higher you get, the further it is to fall. One day she will learn that lesson the hard way, along with countless others. The key to true success is realizing that others are struggling to make it through life while you are getting to the top. Not only realizing this, but never putting yourself above them or being condescending to them in anyway. Help them learn to help themselves. Give a man a fish and feed him for a day, but teach him how to fish and feed him for the rest of his life... Same applies to almost any situation.... Other than the unpleasantries, and my surges of jealousy and envy, I think it went rather well.

One good part was meeting a guy from Toronto who drove into town for the grad. He was really nice and he sat next to me. It seemed that he was waiting for me at the bottom of the stairs, all I could see was the smile on his face. I felt comfortable sitting next to him, not the least bit awkward. I knew he has a girlfriend and I am no longer single. Sometimes the timming is way off, and some things are meant to happen.

There was a reason he took the same program as me.

There was a reason he drove from Toronto just to be there.

There was a reason he walked with me to the seating area.

There was a reason he chose to sit with me.

There was a reason he was happy to see me walk off that stage.

There was a reason that he touched me gently on the back and said; "Take care"

It felt good when he touched my back.

I had needed that simple act for a long time.

Maybe he knew.

Maybe he could sense the signals....

Maybe if things had been different...

Maybe if we had known each other...

Maybe I will see him again.

Maybe things will be different...

Maybe things were meant to happen this way...

Maybe there will come a day.

I really needed that feeling of comfort and support.

It is funny how we get those feelings...................

From strangers.

It is funny how something so innocent can mean so much.

If I only I could tell him....