Rain Warning

For whatever reason, I get weather related stuff
from Toronto, and traffic stuff, too. 
I guess that's where the computer thinks I am, I'm not.

So there's a rain warning. 
The thing is, I heard it's supposed to be
a mild winter.

Last year wasn't so bad.

It seems we get "dumps" of snow. 
Like when it snows, it SNOWS.
Kind of like when it rains, it POURS.

The last time it really snowed
was just before Christmas.

I stayed home, watched a movie, 
took a walk to the gas station, 
and a walk after that, 
instead of coming straight home...

THAT'S PRETTY MUCH IT.
NOTHING CRAZY. 

I'm just thinking that if it IS a mild winter, 
and it rains and keeps raining...
That's how we ended up with the Ice Storm. 
Yes it was in '98. 

BUT IT DOESN'T MEAN
THAT IT COULDN'T HAPPEN AGAIN. 

And it seems like we weren't prepared for that...
BUT DID ANY CHANGES HAPPEN?
IN CASE IT WERE TO HAPPEN, AGAIN?

Because, yeah, it showed us
THAT NATURE CAN F*CK US UP. 
But that should go without saying. 

Anyway, there's a scientific reason
that it even happened. 

Atmospheric. 

Plus, it has to do with being in a valley.
Because cold air gets sucked into the valley.

It freezes everything. 

The ice storm... 

It rained, the rain froze, 
it kept raining, it kept freezing. 
THICK LAYERS OF ICE...

If you've ever been to Niagara Falls in the winter...

Close to the water falls, where it's misty...
The mist freezes in thick layers like that, 
you see it on the guard rails, how thick it is. 

It's kind of like that, BUT EVERYWHERE.

They were trying to "de-ice" the power lines...

First, they were dropping logs off helicopters
but decided that the logs could damage the power lines.
They actually fired shots at the ice to break it off. 
Crazy, eh?

No heat, people doing dumb stuff
to try to keep warm... 

People like breaking their porches apart
for firewood... 

Just a lot of stuff, all at once...

But to be without electricity, in the winter, 
when you rely on it to cook, heat, etc...

ALL THE THINGS WE TAKE FOR GRANTED. 
THAT ELECTRICITY ALLOWS US TO DO.

The last time the power was out, here, 
it got so quiet. 

That "hum" of electricity, we are so used to it, 
that we don't even really notice it.

But when it's gone, you notice it.
It was only out for a few days, if that.

I think that was last winter.
Or a couple of winters ago.

Anyway, rain in the winter time reminds me
of what rain does in the winter, 
especially if it keeps raining. 

Also it reminds me of that one birthday I had, 
it was raining and thunder & lightning....

The power went out.
AND ALL I WAS TRYNA DO, 
ON MY BIRTHDAY WAS WATCH A MOVIE, 
AND COULDN'T DO THAT!!!!

I just would like ONE birthday to be...
A F*CKING GOOD BIRTHDAY.

WITHOUT ANY BS.

EVEN WHEN I SPEND IT ALONE, 
I CAN'T EVEN WATCH A MOVIE?

I almost expect SOMETHING TO F*CKING HAPPEN.
ON MY BIRTHDAY FFS.
EVERY DAMN YEAR.

But this year, I want it to be DECENT
AT THE VERY LEAST.

But if wishes were fishes...
Don't even know the rest of how that goes...
Do you?

As long as my bills are paid and all that's good, 
for next month... Anything extra is a bonus. 

I won $4 on a ticket. Pretty much a free ticket.

Never know, my luck could change, right?
Never a run of luck that doesn't run out.

Kind of like how lottery winners...
A lot of them... End up broke, again. 

Probably from splurging. Splurging it all away.

Even when I think I'm being careful, it's like...
Something will happen...

And it'd be nice, not to have to worry
about being completely f*cked. 

In the first 2 weeks of the month...

Then having to.... Just... 
Until you're good again... 

So far, so good, I guess.
I'm owed some money so...
When that comes in, I'll be good to go.

As well as I have a "plan" I want to try out. 
And see how it goes... 

Those QR codes, some people do scan them. 

And you can turn a link into one. 

So you could even turn a link to a video
into a QR code etc...

I dunno, it'd be something if it turned out.
Even better than I hope. 

The first PDF I wrote, I wanted to sell it
for $40. It's 97 pages with screenshots, etc.

Couldn't even sell one. 

So I wrote 4 and going to give them away. 
I even have a downloads page. 
Where they just click the button, 
and it downloads.

I had the PDF on gumroad. 
The link to it is the blue button thing, 
in the sidebar.

I saw someone selling downloads on Payhip. 

I knew a guy who had his own "comic books"
he's an artist so he did his own stuff, 
really detailed stuff, 
and he sold downloads.

The things I was mentioning before, 
about CPA offers, some of them are toolbars.

They pay when someone downloads it.
Cost per action. 
The action could be filling out a form, 
or downloading something. 

Anyway, I have bought downloads before.
I've bought PDFs before. 
From other marketers about marketing stuff. 

Takes some creativity and finding something
PEOPLE WANT TO BUY. 

Thoe tarot readers on Youtube, they make $$$.
How? They make money on the views. 
BUT they also sell "extended readings."
AND "private readings."

The extended reading, is based of the free reading. 
The private readings are tailored to the customer.

And I think it's around $100 per 1K views. 

Tarot is very popular.
Some readers are accurate af. 
Like scary accurate. 

There's a psychic fair that comes to town. 
I think they travel or have one
in different cities. 

I'd like to go to it. 

There's a psychic who's been accurate. 
She predicted my hand injury and my knee injury. 

I'd like to see her, again. 
I've seen her a few times.
She's good at what she does. 

She uses an Eastern type of astrology thing. 
It's not Western astrology. 
From India, where she is from.
Vedic? Something like that.

Anyway, the more "careful" I am...
With my money, I can save for things. 

Every month, I ask the bank
to put aside some money for me
into my savings account. 

If I don't touch it, for a year...
Which'll be hard - because I've been using it
AS MY EMERGENCY MONEY.


I've been watching prediction videos lol. 
Supposedly, the next 7+ years are supposed to be lucky
and all the past crap is "over with."

Like coming out the other side of a sh*tnado.

As if they made a movie about a sharknado lol. 
WERE THEY HIGH?
WHAT WERE THEY SMOKING?

*inhales deep* "You know what I was thinking?"
*passes joint* "No, what?"
"A movie. About sharks, but not just any sharks, 
A TORNADO OF SHARKS!"

*Inhales again* "I know! Sharknado!"

As if! Pffft!

AND THEY ACTUALLY MADE IT,
THE MOVIE.
ABOUT A SHARK TORNADO.

Because they could, so they did. 

There's a movie, I forget what it's called, 
but the people at a lab, the super sharks got loose, 
and they had to try to make it out of the lab
without getting eaten by the super sharks...

Without getting chomped on the rump LOL.
By a super shark. 
Genetically engineered sharks...

The things they come up for - for movies. 

Not often do I want to see a movie
and go out of my way to see it. 

There were movies I wanted to see when I was a kid...

I really wanted to see The Postman. It has Kevin Costner in it.
It was in '98 because it was close to the Ice Storm... 
When it came out in theaters...

I convinced my mom to let me go see it by myself. 
ON THE CONDITION THAT I WOULD
COME STRAIGHT HOME AFTER THE MOVIE.

WHICH I DID, BUT THE MOVIE
WAS OVER 3 HOURS LONG. 
LONGER THAN THE AVERAGE MOVIE. 

WHICH I DIDN'T MIND
BECAUSE IT WAS A DECENT MOVIE...

BUT MY FOLKS DIDN'T BELIEVE ME
THAT I ACTUALLY DID COME HOME
STRAIGHT AFTER THE MOVIE.

THOUGHT I WAS LYING ABOUT THE MOVIE
BEING LONGER THAN I THOUGHT
IT WAS GOING TO BE...

GOT GROUNDED.

Anyway, there were times
I REALLY DID WANT TO SEE THE MOVIE. 
EVEN AT 14 BY MYSELF LOL. 

I don't have a problem doing stuff by myself. 
Like going out by myself...
Doing stuff I like to do, by myself. 

Would be nice to do stuff with someone, 
but... Sometimes I'd rather just go by myself
than go with someone
WHO DOESN'T WANT TO GO.

I've had a better time by myself
than with some people. 

But just saying that going to the movies
BY MYSELF, NEVER WAS A THING.
I NEVER NEEDED SOMEONE TO GO WITH.
To whatever tf it is. 

IF I WANNA GO, I'LL GO BY MYSELF. 

Like my birthday... 
I'll probably be alone, again, 

BUT AT LEAST I CAN GO DO SOME STUFF.
THAT I WOULD LIKE TO DO.

One time, on my birthday, 
I dropped my keys on the way to meet with a friend.
He met up with me to buy me a couple of drinks
and some cake or dessert or whatever.

I was so flustered about losing my keys...
He tried to assure me that things would turn out.
So he suggested that we go to the rental office
to see if someone found my keys and turned them in. 
Someone did find them. And turned them in. 

No matter how sh*tty a birthday I've had, 
THEY COULD HAVE BEEN WORSE.

So I have to look at it that way.
AT LEAST THEY WEREN'T WORSE.
AS BAD AS THEY COULD HAVE BEEN.

And never know. My luck could change?
I could have one of the best birthdays EVER.

Never a run of luck that doesn't run out.
Bad luck and good luck. 

Would be awesome to have some good luck.
Does winning $4 mean my luck's going to change?
For the better?

Wouldn't that be awesome?

To go from winning $4 to winning $50... LOL.
Would be decent. Wouldn't say no to winning $50.

I took my medication and it hasn't really kicked in, yet.
It's to the point that I find it REALLY HARD
TO SLEEP WITHOUT IT.

UNTIL IT KICKS IN...
THEN, I AM OUT.

BEEN HOT IN HERE, AGAIN. 
I'm going to have to turn the heat OFF, again. 

Until I'm so cold, I'm freezing lol. 

Then do it all over again. 
Maybe it's the temp making it hard to sleep, too. 

Before we got central air, summers were... Brutal. 
The brick building was like an oven.

I had to wet a towel with cold water
just to cool down.... 

When my son was a baby, 
there was that big blackout, in 2003.
The air conditioning wasn't working, 
so I cooled him off in the tub.

So many things that require electricity. 
Imagine being stuck in an elevator during the blackout?
I forget what caused that blackout. 

But we haven't had anything crazy like that since then. 
The blackout and the ice storm both showed us
how "fragile" our grids actually are. 

So hopefully we learned from those.

I think part of the reason we weren't prepared
for a bunch of things, especially natural disaster, 
is that we don't expect them, I guess.

I mean they can predict earthquakes, 
but I don't think they can predict things
like ice storms and they CAN happen, as we've seen...

Even crazy blizards like the one they called:
"White Death."

People who couldn't see in front of them...

I heard that one guy wasn't far from his house, 
but he didn't make it, because he couldn't see his house.
Or get to it.

Stuff like that CAN happen, 
and when it did, nobody was prepared, at all. 

Okay, I can kinda feel it starting to kick in. 

Once, I had someone staying with me...
I felt it kicking in and I HAD TO LAY DOWN RIGHT AWAY.
I COULD NOT PHYSICALLY BE AWAKE.
I WAS SNORING IN LIKE 5 MINUTES LOL. 

I know I snore. 
It was worse when I was pregnant, though. 

Every day, after school, I'd have a milkshake, 
and have a nap. 

I guess one day, I was taking a nap
with the window open. 
I lived on the 4th floor...
People OUTSIDE could hear me snoring.

When my ex pulled up, he knew it was me LOL.

There were a few guys outside, the front of the building.
THEY HEARD ME.
FROM THE 4TH FLOOR LOL. 

They were saying "Hear that guy snore?!"
They thought it was a dude snoring. 
Maybe they couldn't fathom a female
snoring that loud LOL. 

BUT IT WAS I.
SNORELAX TO THE MAX.

Anyway, thinking back to that time, 
I'd have made different choices. 
Better choices. 

I guess some stuff was meant to happen. 
I learned some lessons from experience.
I can only speak from my experiences.

Offer a few things here and there
that kinda helped me pull through. 
Some of the most insane times of my life.
And hardest. I feel like it's far from over...
Take the good with the bad? 
What else can I do?

Some things we never saw coming. 
Because we never thought it would happen. 

And just because you think it couldn't happen to you, 
DOES NOT MEAN THAT IT CAN'T OR WON'T. 

Reminds me of a sign I saw. 
It was at the entrance to an underwater cave.

To safely go into underwater caves, 
you need cave training. 

Just like you have to have dive training, 
cave training is different. 

Anyway, on the sign it says that deaths happen
every year from divers trying to go into
underwater caves. 

It also says: YES IT COULD HAPPEN TO YOU.
BECAUSE SOME PEOPLE THINK IT CAN'T. 

Also reminds me of people who got stuck in above water caves.
AND THEY COULDN'T GET THEM OUT
FOR WHATEVER REASON AND THEY DIED
TRAPPED IN A CREVICE OF A CAVE.
A CAVE THEY NEVER HAD TO GO INTO, 
BUT CURIOSITY CAN GET THE BEST OF
THE BEST OF US...

Also reminds me of that Baby Jessica.
Who fell into the well. 

HOW DID A BABY JUST FALL INTO A WELL?
WHY WOULD A BABY BE ANYWHERE NEAR ONE?

THE RESCUE OPERATION WAS A BIG THING. 

So big that we heard about it in Canada.
It made the news etc. 

At least she was rescued. 
I think it took quite a while to get her out. 
But they did it!

Was it on Rescue 911? Remember that show?
The theme song of that show...
And the theme song for Unsolved Mysteries...

Those shows came on at my bedtime when I was a kid. 
TRY SLEEPING TO THAT, AS A KID...

I HAD TO WAIT FOR THE SONG TO BE OVER
BEFORE I COULD EVEN TRY TO SLEEP. 

I WAS GOING TO BED AT AROUND 8PM LOL. 
EVEN EARLIER THAN THAT OFTEN.

IT WAS SUPPER, BATH, BED. 

We were living at that place when my brother
GAVE ME THE CHICKEN POX. 

At least I got it over with. 
I heard it's even worse if you get it as an adult. 

I haven't heard if it's still a thing.
I'm thinking it still exists, 
very unpleasant. 
Very itchy, sore, miserable...

Anyway, should I try to sleep again?

It's snowing out there. Can barely see the tail lights
on the highway. 
Can't see the other side of the highway...

I guess I'll be waking up to plows scraping the cement lol. 
I guess there are worse things to wake up to. 

Once, my ex woke me up to tell me my cat barfed. 
I thought he was waking me up
to tell me she died or something. 

I probably woke up to other stuff. 

Oh! When I was 16, I was hitchhiking etc. 
I was at some farm in a place called Holstein. 
The guy who owned the place... 
He was fuming, was loading his shotgun. 
Was going to go shoot a house up or something. 

A guy told me not to move
and told me to be quiet.
That the angry guy would forget I was there
and that he would go calm him down. 

WAS SCARY. 
KNOWING A GUY WAS IN THE NEXT ROOM
WITH A LOADED SHOTGUN. 

AND NOBODY I KNEW, KNEW WHERE I WAS...
OR WHO I WAS WITH...

NO SHOTS WERE FIRED. ENDED WELL. 
NOBODY GOT HURT, 
BUT DEFINITELY A TENSE MOMENT.

I remember it was winter. I left here in February. 
I remember it because it was my first time
taking ecstasy. 
I was watching it snow for hours lol. 

And when the guy took me to his cousin's place, 
it was snowing
and it was like the flakes were coming through the windshield. 
They actually weren't, just hitting it, 
but when they hit it, it was as though
they were like melting through it. 
It was pretty trippy. 

Also, the guy took me on a snowmobile. 
Was my first and only time on one. 
I was driving it, and I didn't want to crash us, 
so I had to slow down. 

Well, at first he was driving it
and he asked me if I wanted to try it.

That dude was so nice to me!

I met him on the bus... 
I had missed my stop and didn't know where tf we were.

He knew I was panicking. 
So he said he would take me to his folk's place for the night.
He said he didn't think it was right
to take me to his place, 
so he took me to his folk's place
where I'd be safe and could crash on the couch.
And he came back for me the next day. 

That's when he took me to that farm, in that town. 
And from there, we went to Keswick.

His cousin gave me $120 for cleaning the place
when him and his cousin went to work. 

I SPENT IT ALL ON A TAXI.
FROM KESWICK TO FERGUS. 

I asked the taxi driver if he could take me, 
he said he would have to call his boss. 
He did and he asked me how much money I had.
I gave it all to him. 

The fare probably was actually much higher, 
TO GO THAT FAR, 
AND I DIDN'T KNOW HOW FAR IT WAS.

Probably a post for another day, 
but I woke up to THAT.