So They Did

The police showed up at 2am. 
I told them, the three of them, to their faces. 
And they all tried patronizing me to my face.

I lost my patience and told them to leave.
That's how angry I got about this.

What about "this is assault" do I need to make clearer?
You'd think it was clear enough. 

You'd think you'd just tell the police about it.
Like you're supposed to do.
And when you're upset about the situation
and everyone acting like no big deal....
PRIVACY RIGHTS THEY EVEN SAID TO ME.
LIKE ASSAULT SHOULD JUST BE KEPT PRIVATE?

I spoke to someone and he said that it matters what the victim wants to happen.
Like as the victim's mother, you'd think I'd be able to speak on this.

He told me because he wanted something done about it.
And then when I tell the police it's like that?

And when you're so shocked that it even happens,
and then when you tell someone what happened...
You'd think as bad as it is...

Then they have the balls to say:
WE COULD GO OVER THERE, NOW, BUT IT'S 2AM!!!!
AS A REASON NOT TO.

BECAUSE WHO WOULD BE CONCERNED?


I CAN'T EVEN TALK TO MY OWN FAMILY ABOUT IT
BECAUSE THEY NEVER EVEN LISTEN TO ME.

But why send 3 cops over to talk to me about it
when they didn't talk to me about it
because it didn't matter what I was literally telling them to their faces. 

They only said get your son to tell us.
We'll do something if he does. 

Am I living in another dimension?
Tell me where it makes any sense to be all like,
he's an adult so just let him deal with it?

And if it was them telling a cop
how would they want it to go?

Is it a fair enough question to ask a cop?
How they would want to be spoken to?
What they would want a cop to do?
Instead of literally saying TO MY FACE, 
WE DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU WANT US TO DO...
WELL WHAT WOULD YOU WANT ME TO DO?
IF IT WAS YOU TELLING ME
WHAT I JUST TOLD YOU?

They can see how they would feel 
from their own perspective but it doesn't seem to translate well.

BECAUSE EVERYTHING THEY TELL YOU TO DO...
THE WAY THEY WANT TO DO IT
AT F*CKING 2AM EVEN.
BECAUSE IT DOESN'T MATTER 
JUST WHENEVER THEY CAN GET AROUND TO IT...

So can you understand the level of restraint?
Even after what happened earlier...

They came to my "apartment" to patronize me, too.
At 2AM. Saying privacy rights. 
Like talking privacy rights about assault ffs.

What use is it to be angry at the situation?
Or the response I got about it?
Right? So everyone can just try to gaslight tf out of me?

Is that what is going on?

Because I think it's something to reasonably be upset about. 
And something Mr resources cop said. 
That he'd be livid.

But the system's f*cked because it's online, not how it should be.
Everything's like THIS A***.
It's a trip where I should be outraged at literally everything. 
Just like they would be livid. 

And even as he's saying it, he doesn't grasp it.
3 cops here, not grasping it. 
Do I get upset when there's something easy to grasp
and you can't force anyone to grasp it
or see it the way you do,
EVEN THOUGH if it were them, they'd be mad.

If people spoke down to them, they'd be mad.

WE DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU WANT US TO DO.
I'm not sh*tting you.

Is telling me that something I want you to do?
Do you want to be told that? By a cop?

And why send 3 of them?
Because they talked to the first guy. 
Because I didn't give him my name
so he could write it down right in front of me
like he gave two sh*ts let alone one.

Like what the actual f*ck?
My life's been a big what the actual f*ck?

What would a normal response look like?

It's like people saying if that was my kid...
If any kid walked in and said "hey something happened to me."
Would the cop just go "when you get back to your 'apartment' call us, 
THEN WAIT UNTIL 2AM BEFORE WE SEND ANYONE TO TALK TO YOU.
AND WHEN WE DO, IT'S GOING TO BE 3 OF US.

WHO WILL ALREADY HAVE OUR ASSUMPTIONS
BASED ON WHAT THAT OTHER GUY TOLD US.

AND WHAT THE DAMN DISPATCH TOLD ME.
HOW THAT WAS RUDE AF RIGHT OFF THE BAT.

THEN TO TOP IT OFF, 
THEY'RE LIKE "WE TOLD YOU TWO TIMES...
NOW YOU'RE JUST TALKING IN CIRCLES."
IF THAT'S ALL THIS CONVERSATION IS TO YOU, 
THEN YOU CAN KINDLY GTFO OF MY HOUSE.

This is really how they were to me.

Would they want to be spoken to like this?
Because yes, I literally repeated myself
AND THE SITUATION
AND WHAT THEY WEREN'T GRASPING ABOUT IT
BUT WHO AM I TO HAVE ANY CONCERNS?
PEOPLE CAN HAVE ALL THE CONCERNS THEY WANT ABOUT ME, 
BUT IT'S LIKE I AM NOT ALLOWED TO HAVE ANY
That THEY would have IF they were ME.

Isn't that nice to know? That if it were them...
And even trying to gaslight me about how I should even feel
about the situation let alone the response I got to the situation. 

I literally called out the patronizing this time. 
Because they thought more of them than me
WHEN THEY COULD HAVE JUST SENT ONE.
BECAUSE IT ONLY TAKES ONE
TO SAY "WE DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU WANT US TO DO."!!!!!!

Is it worse to be seen as the worst one when I'm not?
Maybe there's something wrong when you're talking to a cop
about a crime and they say: We don't know what you want us to do!!!!!!!!
How would it be if I was the cop saying that?

It's almost like calling 911 and they say:
WE DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU WANT US TO DO?

"My house is burning down"
"WE DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU WANT US TO DO"

LITERALLY... This is what happened recently...
There was a pro hamas rally on parliament hill. 
Like pro war on Isreal stuff... Happening right out in the open
RIGHT OUTSIDE THE PRIME MINISTER'S OFFICE
Do they say that too?
"I don't know what you want me to do"!!!!
About that or anything else.

IF THE PROTOCOL WAS DIFFERENT?
Like I was treated like I didn't have to be up all night
just to be told "we don't know what you want us to do"?

And I'm so angry about it
Because the audacity of everything.

Especially to be spoken to like:
"All we're doing is talking in circles."
Thanks for stating the obvious, again. 
Because that really helps me NOT FEEL
INSULTED that you treat a serious conversation like that.
Something that's supposed to be a serious conversation. 

BECAUSE THAT'S PROFESSIONAL TO EVEN SAY?
Let alone treat someone like that. 

It's like saying doesn't matter that someone got assaulted, 
and for a lot of reasons hasn't come forward himself. 
What happened when I tried to?
About what I went through?
That my mom could have said something about.

And when you're the mom saying something about it.
"All we're doing is talking in circles."
"We don't know what you want us to do."

Would they speak to everyone like that?
Or would that be unprofessional. 

And being upset about it is "only amping it up"
when I got angry that they were obviously not listening to me either.
Because yeah, they would be angry. 
Anyone would be angry. 

But trying to treat me like I don't even have that right?
A right they have, as a person?

"Desecalate this, don't get mad at us."
DON'T PATRONIZE ME.

Then I say that and he's like "HOW SO?"
Was nothing any of them said to me not patronizing in any way?

Who wouldn't be mad when you literally say it.
Which is probable cause to investigate.
But "We don't know what you want us to do?"

HOW ABOUT WHAT YOU WOULD WANT ME TO DO
IF I WAS THE COP AND YOU WERE TELLING ME.
IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR?

THAT THE COPS DON'T KEEP ME UP UNTIL 2AM
JUST TO TALK TO ME ABOUT IT.

THEN TREAT ME LIKE FOR EVEN TRYING TO TALK ABOUT IT. 
BUT HERE'S SOME RESOURCES. 
BECAUSE WE DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU WANT US TO DO.

That's not something you want a cop to say, ever.
No matter what it's about.
But especially not about this.

It's like I have "nobody listens to you so why should I"
following me around somehow. 

Because I'm literally treated like that. 
Everyone treats you like this, A***. Get used to it.
Because of a bunch of things
that don't have anything to do with what I brought up.

And after that, it's useless to even try again?
For the exact same bullsh*t?

Why do people think I even deserve that bullsh*t?
Because of bullsh*t?

IF IT WERE THEM, THOUGH....

Could they not see how that's BS?
When you literally go to the police station. 
Then they literally insult you
by coming at 2AM
JUST TO SAY: NOW WE'RE JUST TALKING IN CIRCLES.
WE DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU WANT US TO DO?

How is that not BS?

Should a bunch of things that have nothing to do
with what I actually said matter?

Or should I just CALL BACK?
For what? The same BS? Which is literally what I got?

If people spoke to others that they would never DARE to speak to
the way they think is okay to speak to me...

Like I should be the one telling the cops what I want them to do
BECAUSE THEY TOLD ME THAT THEY DON'T KNOW?

So what do they know? How to direct people
to "follow the system"?
How they want YOU to listen...

Like they were more interested in arguing over his health issues
with me than to understand what I was telling them and why.

It takes a lot of restraint when a cop tells you to your face
that they don't know what you want them to do.

Because let it sink in. A cop telling you that.
Then explain all of this to a crisis line worker. 
And having to explain to him
that I shouldn't have to explain it to the cops.

And what will it do?
Just make it all worse?
Because at this point, I can't see how it could get better?

I want to hope for the best, 
but when I had to explain in detail everything
and explain to them everything I explained to the cops. 
I told the police 3 times.

How is that supposed to make me feel optimistic?
Like making me feel like there's no point that I even told them.

It was a lot to do with how they handled it.
Everything I told them about. 
That only one person I told in detail everything.

Like things I wouldn't even write here.
Because I couldn't.

All the deepest wtf moments of my life.
And I ask myself why all these moments
where it's literally wtf?

Why does a crisis worker care more than a cop?
Why are they easier to explain the situation to?
Which isn't so hard to understand...

Because they seem to understand where I'm coming from.
Better than a cop does? Does that say something?

Because what would they want to have happen?

What would a normal considerate response be to that?
A reasonable response and approach?

And if I blindside them both, it won't go anywhere.
What if all it does is make everyone mad at me somehow?
Even when I do the right thing?
Like double edged sword all the way.

Because not everyone likes it when you do the right thing.
Even for the right reasons.

The crisis line guy said I'd get a call back.
From the crisis line or from the cops. 

Like if they explained the situation to them...
Then maybe the police will listen?

It's like I'd have to explain everything all over again.
Everything.

But they have a record of what I said.
Some sort of record.

"Just to say we talked."

If things were different then, they'd be different now.

I