When He Thought That

I had met someone Mirror Smasher knew... 
Introduced to him by one of my former friends.

THAT GUY.... THOUGHT MY FORMER FRIEND
AND I WERE "TOGETHER."
AND TOLD MIRROR SMASHER THAT.

IT WASN'T THE CASE....
AND HE NEVER ASKED ME OR MY FORMER FRIEND....
IF WE WERE ACTUALLY "TOGETHER."

BUT HE TOLD MIRROR SMASHER....
THAT WE WERE. WE WERE NOT.

WHEN MIRROR SMASHER "THOUGHT" THAT,
BECAUSE HE ASSUMED IT WAS TRUE
AND DIDN'T ASK ME, EITHER.
HE ALSO THOUGHT I WAS LYING TO HIM ABOUT IT.
WASN'T. 

NO REASON TO.

IF I WAS "WITH" SOMEONE....
EVERYONE WOULD KNOW.

THEY WOULDN'T HAVE TO "GUESS."

ALSO... COULD ASK.

RIGHT?

But.... What bugged me about it.....

WAS HE EXPECTING MY LOYALTY
TO HIM.... 

BUT WASN'T LOYAL TO ME.
HE WAS FKING AROUND.

AND THREW ME "CRUMBS"
WHENEVER HE THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO FK OFF.

TO GET MY GUARD DOWN.
JUST THAT.

IT WASN'T BECAUSE HE WANTED ME....
AS A PERSON....
BECAUSE HE WOULD HAVE ACTED LIKE HE DID!

I WAS SUPPOSED TO CARRY THE WHOLE THING.
HE'D GIVE ME HIS 2%....
BUT I WAS SUPPOSED TO COME WITH THE 98%.
ALWAYS.

NO. 

SHOULD I HAVE HAD TO WAIT AS LONG AS I DID...
FOR 2% OR LESS?

NO.

WAS HE BUILDING ANYTHING WITH ME?
NO.

WANTED ME TO..... BUT.... 
NO.

SO WHY WOULD IT MATTER.....
SUDDENLY....

IF ANYONE ELSE WAS ACTUALLY INTERESTED IN ME?

MY FORMER FRIEND WAS... TO AN EXTENT.

BUT IT WAS MORE LIKE....
HE WAS INTERESTED IN MY INTEREST.

NOT IN ME AS A PERSON.

BECAUSE.... HE WOULD HAVE....
RESPECTED.... MY AUTONOMY. 

HE WAS VERY BOSSY. 

I FKN CAN'T STAND THAT SH*T.

AND ONE TIME.... I DID SOMETHING
HE "TOLD ME"
NOT TO DO.

LIKE I WAS SUPPOSED TO "OBEY" HIM. 

SOMETHING I WANTED TO DO.
THAT SHOULDN'T HAVE BEEN A "BIG DEAL" TO DO.

HOW HE ACTED ABOUT THAT.... WAS NUTS.

I SHOULD HAVE ENDED IT RIGHT THERE, 
RIGHT THEN.

BECAUSE THAT WAS ABOUT HAVING CONTROL OVER ME.
TO CONTROL ME.

TO MANIPULATE.
IT WAS VERY CLEAR.

THAT IS WHY WE AREN'T FRIENDS ANYMORE.

MY AUTONOMY... MATTERS TO ME.

THEIR AUTONOMY.....
SHOULD MATTER TO THEM. 

SHOULD BE RESPECTED, ALSO. 

Should it not???? It should!
Like mine should be, too.

It fkn BUGGED TF OUT OF ME....
THE WHOLE TIME WE WERE FRIENDS!

I BROUGHT IT UP AT LEAST A FEW TIMES!

BEFORE I STOPPED WANTING TO BE FRIENDS.

BECAUSE IF A FRIEND
DOESN'T WANT TO RESPECT MY AUTONOMY.....

ARE THEY A REAL FRIEND?????

THEY WANT ME AROUND FOR MY ENERGY.
BECAUSE I'M MOSTLY EASYGOING.... 

I CAN BE CHILL.

BUT WHEN PEOPLE NEED TO LEVEL UP....
AND WANT TO BE IN DENIAL THAT THEY NEED TO....
TO STOP THEIR CRAP....
THAT THEY DON'T NEED TO BE DOING....

THAT I'M NOT DOING TO THEM....
BECAUSE I HAVE NO REASON TO DO THAT CRAP....

BECAUSE I WANT THEM TO CONTROL THEMSELVES
BY NOT TRYING TO CONTROL ME.

AND NOT WANTING TO. 

Do I want to control THEM? NO?

JUST WANT THEM TO CONTROL THEMSELVES? YEAH?

THEY LIKE THE ENERGY.... WHAT I BROUGHT.
BUT.... THEY DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH IT.
TO KEEP IT.

AND I DO NOT OWE ANYONE MY ENERGY.
NOT EVEN IF THEY WANT IT. 

Wanting it.... And not knowing what to do with it....
ISN'T GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME.

Now that I said that... 

THEY NEVER GAF ABOUT WHAT I WANTED.
THEY NEVER GAF WHAT MATTERED TO ME.

IF THEY DID.... THEY WOULD ACT LIKE IT.
AND THAT ISN'T SOMETHING THEY CAN FAKE.

DUDES WHO ARE EMOTIONALLY IMMATURE....
WON'T "MATURE" OVERNIGHT.

SOME DON'T.
BECAUSE SOME THINGS....
DON'T "MAKE SENSE" TO THEM....
ENOUGH TO "CLICK."

If they "clicked," they would "understand"
AND MATURE!

WOULDN'T THAT BE GROOVY?

IF THEY WERE JUST.... MATURE?

SURE, I CARE ENOUGH TO "HELP PEOPLE."
BECAUSE I'VE BEEN THROUGH CRAP.
THEY HAVE, TOO.

BUT.... SURFACE-LEVEL "GESTURES"
ARE THAT.

DESIGNED TO.... DO WHAT?
BE WHAT?

BAIT. THAT'S WHAT.

BECAUSE PEOPLE WILL TRY TO USE YOUR "CARE"
TO TRY TO GET SOMETHING FROM YOU.

NOT ALWAYS....

SOME PEOPLE WILL ACTUALLY APPRECIATE IT!
THAT YOU CARE WHEN NOBODY ELSE DOES!

BUT.... NOT EVERYONE WILL.

THEY WANT YOU TO "CARE"
FOR THEIR OWN REASONS.

NOT BECAUSE THEY INTEND TO ACTUALLY CARE, TOO.

THAT IS RARE.
THAT THEY ACTUALLY CARE, TOO.

VERY RARE.