To Their Ex

I've been compared to their EX. Many times.
I hate that sh*t.

1) I AM NOT YOUR EX
2) I DON'T WANT TO BE YOUR EX
3) I'M EITHER YOUR NEXT OR NOTHING
4) BUT I'M NOT YOUR EX

Compared me to their EX and wanted MULTIPLE CHOICE
AND DIDN'T WANT TO CHOOSE.

BECAUSE THEY DON'T WANT TO "MAKE A MISTAKE."
BUT.... ARE WILLING TO "SABOTAGE"
BY.... COMPARING ME.... TO..... THEIR.... EX.

SOME FKD UP LOYALTY TO THEIR EX....
IF THEY KEEP GOING BACK.

BOTH IN INDECISION....

1) CAN'T DECIDE WHO THEY WANT TO BE WITH
2) CAN'T LEAVE THE EX

AND WHEN I WALK AWAY AND SAY: "I'M COOL WITHOUT THIS SH*T."

1) THEY DO NOT HAVE A CLAIM ON ME
2) THEIR EX HAS NO CLAIM ON THEM

"WHAT ARE THEY FORCED TO LIVE WITH NOW THAT YOU ARE GONE?"
THE PATTERNS THAT KEEP THEM STUCK TO THEIR EX.

WHY SHOULD I WANT CRUMBS FROM SOMEONE
WHO ISN'T DONE WITH THEIR PAST?

"THEY GO BACK TO EACH OTHER."
"WE SHOULD HAVE STAYED TOGETHER." 

BECAUSE THEY DON'T ELEVATE.
BECAUSE THEY CAN'T.

SO THEY GO BACK.... TO EACH OTHER.

MIRROR SMASHER DID THAT SH*T.
12-YEAR-DISCARD DID THAT SH*T.

AND 12-YD.... WANTED TO SEE WHAT IT WOULD BE LIKE
WITHOUT ME.

HE FOUND OUT.
NOT MY PROBLEM, THOUGH.

DUDES WHO PLAY GAMES.....
DON'T FKN KNOW HOW NOT TO......

OR THEY WOULDN'T FKN PLAY GAMES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THEY DON'T KNOW HOW TO BE REAL......
OR THEY WOULD BE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AND TO READ MY POSTS TO "FIND OUT"
SOMETHING ABOUT ME.....

LIKE: IF I'M DATING AGAIN.....

WHAT IF I WAS? WHAT???????!!!!!!!!

WHAT WOULD THEY DO?

THE TIMES I HEARD FROM MY EX.....
WAS WHEN HE KNEW I WAS DATING AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AND HE WAS "NICE" TO ME WHEN I WAS DATING!!!!!!!!!
BUT WHEN I WASN'T?
HE'D BE HIS REGULAR D*CK SELF.

WOULDN'T HEAR FROM HIM.
HE LEFT ME ALONE WHEN I WAS ALONE.

BUT WHEN I WAS DATING???? LOL.

12-YD.... THE REAL REASON....
HE WANTED TO "RECONNECT"

WAS TO "PLAY IN MY FACE" AGAIN.
OR TRY TO.

THAT'S WHAT HE DID..... RIGHT?
HE WANTED TO DO THAT SH*T AGAIN.

THAT'S WHAT MIRROR SMASHER DID TOO!!!!!!!!!
WANTED TO "PLAY IN MY FACE."

DON'T WANT TO TAKE YOUR CHANCES SERIOUSLY?
THEN...... YOU..... DON'T...... GET...... ANY..... MORE.

NOT FROM ME.

"IF THEY HADN'T LET FEAR AND PRIDE MAKE THEIR DECISIONS."

WELP, THAT'S WHAT THEY WANTED TO DO.
IF THEY WANTED TO TAKE THE FIRST CHANCE SERIOUSLY.....
THE 100TH CHANCE.... WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN....
THE 100TH FKN CHANCE.

NO MORE OF THAT SH*T.

FENCE SITTERS CAN GO FK THEMSELVES.

MISTAKE: ASSUMING I'D BE AVAILABLE
WHEN THEY WERE EVENTUALLY READY.

MISTAKE: ASSUMING UNLIMITED CHANCES.

MISTAKE: ASSUMING I WOULDN'T MOVE ON WITH MY OWN LIFE.

MISTAKE: COMPARING ME TO AN EX.

WOULD THEY WANT ME TO COMPARE THEM TO MY EX?
NO? WHY WOULDN'T THEY WANT ME TO DO THAT?????!!!!!

BECAUSE: THEY AREN'T MY EX?
BECAUSE: MY EX IS IN MY PAST?
BECAUSE: I COULD GIVE THE NEW A CHANCE?

"THEY THOUGHT SOMETHING SAFER AND EASIER WOULD APPEAR."

"WHAT THEY WERE SEARCHING FOR ELSEWHERE DIDN'T GIVE THEM WHAT THEY WANTED OR EXPECTED."

MY PROBLEM? NO? IT ISN'T!!!!!!!!!!!!

"EMOTIONAL SLEEPWALKING."

WHEN YOU "WITHHOLD" AFFECTION.....
THE OTHER PERSON STOPS WAITING FOR IT.

SHOULD I HAVE WAITED 12 FKN YEARS?
FOR FKN AFFECTION?
FOR EFFORT?
TO BE MET HALFWAY?

"SHE'LL KEEP GIVING TO ME NO MATTER HOW LITTLE I GIVE BACK."

WAS IT BALANCED? NO? 
WAS IT FAIR TO ME? NO?

"SOMETIMES PEOPLE DON'T UNDERSTAND GENEROSITY
UNTIL IT STOPS."

THEY DON'T SEE WHAT YOU WERE DOING.....
UNTIL YOU ARE NOT DOING IT.

A***'S NOT MAKING IT EASY FOR ME ANYMORE!
A***'S NOT OVERCOMPENSATING FOR MY BS ANYMORE!
A***'S NOT WAITING FOR MY AFFECTION ANYMORE!
A***'S NOT TELLING ME WTF I'M DOING WRONG ANYMORE!

THAT'S RIGHT! I NEVER FKN HAD TO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I DIDN'T!

I'M NOT REQUIRED TO "CHASE" SOMEONE FOR FKN ANYTHING.
NOT EVEN FOR THEM TO "RECOGNIZE REGRET"
OR TO "SEE" ANYTHING ABOUT ME.....
OR WHATEVER THEY ASSUMED ABOUT ME....
OR THAT THEY ASSUMED SH*T...... ABOUT ME.....
THEY DIDN'T HAVE TO FKN ASSUME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WOULD THEY WANT ME TO ASSUME THOSE THINGS??????
ABOUT THEM??????? HMMM?????

'THERE'LL ALWAYS BE ANOTHER CHANCE"
UNTIL WHEN?

UNTIL THERE ISN'T?
UNTIL YOUR CHANCES RUN DRY?
ALONG WITH YOUR LUCK?

MAYBE THEY WERE LUCKY......
THAT I WAS MAKING THE EFFORT THAT I MADE!!!!!!!!!!!
THAT I WAS EVEN FKN INTERESTED AT ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!
THAT I CARED AT ALL!!!!!!!!!
THAT I SAW WHAT I SAW IN THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
THAT I GAVE WHAT I GAVE!!!!!!!!!!!!
MY TIME! MY EFFORT! 
+++++++++++!!!!!!!!!!!!

THEY USED AN EXCUSE TO FK OFF.....
AND TRIED TO GIVE AN EXCUSE TO TRY TO "COME BACK"?????? 

DID I EVER WANT FKN EXCUSES?????????

MIRROR SMASHER TOLD ME ABOUT THE MIRROR
WHEN HE "FINALLY CAME TO GET HIS STUFF"
7 FKN MONTHS LATER!!!!!!!!!!!!

TOOK 7 MONTHS TO GROW SOME BALLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SOME REAL ONES.

NOT THOSE FAKE BALLS IT TOOK TO SMASH MY MIRROR
AND PLAY IN MY FACE.

IF HE HAD REAL BALLS....
HE'D HAVE THE BALLS NOT TO DO THAT SH*T.

"IF SOMEONE DELAYS COMMITMENT....
THE OPPORTUNITY FKS OFF."

CAN'T EXPECT ME TO "FORGET."
ALL THE BS THAT WAS VERY MUCH BS!

I'M NOT THE "SAME" PERSON..... THEY "USED TO KNOW."
I'M NOT WILLING TO IGNORE THE BS.

SOMEONE'S POTENTIAL IS NOT THE SAME
AS HOW TF THEY CHOOSE TO BE.

SHOULD I HAVE TO CONSTANTLY PROVE
WHY I DESERVE TO BE TREATED WITH CARE?
AND CONSIDERATION?

AND HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO PROVE THAT?
WHEN I WASN'T EVEN "WORTH" THAT?
TO THEM?

I'M GLAD I TOOK MY FRIEND TO THE SHOW!
INSTEAD OF HIM!

BECAUSE HE DID NOT DESERVE TO FKN GO!
WITH ME!

DON'T REWARD BS! 

AM I RESPONSIBLE FOR SHOWING SOMEONE
THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN REGRET....
AND REDEMPTION?

WHY AM I "IMPORTANT" WHEN THEY HAVE NO ACCESS TO ME?
WHY NOT WHEN THEY FKN DID????????!!!!

BECAUSE: THEY DID NOT SEE THE VALUE.....
OF..... HAVING..... ACCESS..... TO ME.

"LOVE" ISN'T FKN ENDLESS TOLERANCE OF BS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
IT ISN'T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AM I SUPPOSED TO WANT TO "TRY AGAIN" REPEATEDLY?
FOREVER?

FK NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"RECOGNIZE WHAT YOU SHOULDN'T COMPROMISE."

BUT IS IT UP TO ME TO "MAKE" ANYONE RECOGNIZE ANYTHING?
NO? NO!!!!!!!!!! IT'S NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IF THEY CAN'T..... THEY CAN'T.

MY VALUE WASN'T CREATED BY THEIR RECOGNITION OF IT.
IT WAS THERE THE WHOLE TIME.

WHETHER THEY "SAW" ANYTHING, OR NOT.

WHY DO THEY WANT TO "REPAIR" THINGS WHEN THEY "MISS" ME?
AFTER I WALK TF AWAY?

DID IT HAVE TO TAKE FOR THEM TO MISS ME?
TO WANT TO "REPAIR" SOMETHING THEY FKD UP?

AND WANTING TO "REPAIR" SOMETHING.....
THEY NEVER MADE THE EFFORT TO.....
ISN'T THE SAME AS....... DOING IT.

"SHOULDN'T HAVE PLAYED WITH A***."
FKN RIGHT YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE....
BUT????? YOU DID!!!!!!!!!!!! 
DID THAT SH*T!!!!!!!!!!

AND???? A*** DIDN'T APPRECIATE THAT SH*T!!!!!!!!!!!

WOULD THEY?

BUT SURE.... BELIEVE LIES ABOUT ME....
JUST SO YOU CAN TALK ABOUT ME....
BECAUSE WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO TALK ABOUT?

THINGS YOU KNOW ABOUT ME?

YOU CAN'T!
IF YOU KNOW FK ALL ABOUT ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
RIGHT?

BECAUSE IF YOU DON'T KNOW ME.....
WHAT'S GOING TO BE TRUE ABOUT ME?????
ANYTHING YOU ASSUME?

NO? HMMM.

BUT KEEP LOOKING AT ME
THE WAY SOMEONE ELSE WANTS YOU TO, THOUGH.

KEEP.... DOING..... THAT.
THEN? SEE WHAT HAPPENS!

SEE! YOU WILL!

AND WHEN YOU DO......
NOT MY PROBLEM!

BECAUSE WHEN YOU SEE THAT YOU DID IT
BECAUSE:

1) SOMEONE ELSE WANTED YOU TO
2) YOU WANTED IT TO BE EASIER
3) DIDN'T WANT ME

So then? I'm supposed to BEG THEM TO WANT ME?????
FK NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FK!!!!!! NO!!!!!!!!!

BECAUSE: EITHER THEY DO....
OR THEY DON'T.

AND IF THEY DON'T....
BECAUSE SOMEONE ELSE WANTED THEM TO SABOTAGE IT.....
SABOTAGE EVERYTHING WITH ME....
TO "HAVE THEM TO THEMSELVES"
OR WHATEVER.....

AND THEY CAN'T SEE THAT.....
THAT THEY ARE BEING RUTHLESS
AND SELFISH.....

TO ME.....

BECAUSE SOMEONE ELSE WANTS THEM TO BE.....

AND NOT CONSIDER.....
WHAT THAT WOULD BE LIKE.....
FOR ME....

AND NOT REALIZING THAT BECAUSE I ENDURED THAT SH*T.....
I DON'T FKN WANT TO AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BUT.... IF THEY LET..... SOMEONE..... MANIPULATED THEM.....
TO ACT AGAINST ME.... OR TURN ON ME.....

THEY ARE THE ONE ALLOWING THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHETHER IT'S A TOXIC EX THEY WANT TO "COMPARE" ME TO....
OR SOMEONE LYING TO THEM ABOUT ME....
THAT THEY WANTED TO "SUPPORT" OVER ME...

IF THEY DIDN'T REALIZE THEY GOT MANIPULATED ABOUT ME.....
THEY STILL ALLOWED THAT SH*T TO HAPPEN!!!!!!!!!!!!

ATE IT ALL UP! 
WAS IT TASTY?
HOW DID IT TASTE?
LEFT A BAD TASTE IN MY MOUTH.....

EVEN 12 YEARS LATER!!!!!!!!!! HMMM.

AND IF YOU APPROACH ME IN THE WRONG FKN WAY.....
WRONG.... FKN..... WAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OLD KEYS DON'T OPEN NEW DOORS!

PERSON CHANGED? NEW DOOR!

I CHANGED BECAUSE??????? WHY?????

DO THEY REALIZE THAT?

THAT I TRUSTED THEM?
NOT TO EAT UP THE BS?
AND SWITCH UP ON ME BECAUSE OF IT?

"I CAN COUNT ON A***."
YES....

BUT CAN I COUNT ON YOU?
NOT TO EAT UP THE BS?
AND RUN WITH IT?

BECAUSE THAT SHOULD BE A BASIC THING.
AT LEAST I THOUGHT IT WAS.

"WHY WOULD THEY LIE TO ME?"
WHY INDEED!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHY????? HMMM?

A*** DID THIS AND THAT TO ME!!!!!
DID I?

DID ANYONE FKN ASK ME?

BECAUSE THEY'D RATHER BELIEVE THE LIE....
THAN FKN ASK ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GO AHEAD AND THINK XYZ!!!!!!!!! ABOUT ME!!!!!!!!!!!
IF YOU WANT TO THINK BS IS ACTUALLY TRUE....... DO IT.

BUT.... WHY WERE THEY DOING IT?
BECAUSE THEY WANTED YOU TO "HATE" ME
AS MUCH AS THEY DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THAT'S WHY!!!!!!!!!!!

"IF HE HATES A***, HE'LL LEAVE HER ALONE!
AND COME MY WAY INSTEAD!"

OKAY..... AND IF.... YOU WANT..... TO DO THAT..... DO THAT.

BUT..... FOR DOING THAT...... YOU GET..... WHAT.... YOU GET.

"A***, YOUR FAULT FOR THEM LYING ABOUT YOU!
YOUR FAULT I BELIEVED THAT!
YOUR FAULT FOR FKN EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

NOPE,
WASN'T. 
WAS..... YOURS.
NOT MINE.

IF YOU LET YOURSELF......
BE INFLUENCED BY LIARS......

YOU ARE LETTING YOURSELF.....
BE.... INFLUENCED.....
BY.... LIARS.

BECAUSE IT IS ONE THING TO MISJUDGE ME,,,,,
BUT IT'S ANOTHER THING......
TO EAT UP BS..... THINKING THEY KNOW ME.....
WHEN THEY NEVER FKN DID,

THOUGHT THEY DID, BUT THEY DIDN'T!!!!!!!!!!!!

THE PART THAT ACTUALLY "HURTS" IF ANYTHING....
THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO KNOW ME.
AND I THOUGHT THEY DID!
THEY DIDN'T!
THEN? "LET'S BETRAY A***!"

EVERYONE ELSE DID THAT SH*T....
SO WHY NOT DO THAT SH*T TOO?

THEY BETRAYED THEMSELVES.
FOR BETRAYING ME.

SOMEONE WHO WOULDN'T DO THAT SH*T.

BECAUSE: IF YOU HEAR SOMETHING.....

YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO CONSIDER.....
WHY SOMEONE'S TELLING YOU SOMETHING.

BECAUSE WHEN YOU KNOW WHY......
YOU KNOW OTHER THINGS,
ABOUT WHAT THEY ARE TELLING YOU. 

"THEY WERE LAZY. THEY WENT WHERE THEY THOUGHT THE VALUE WAS."
BECAUSE: I WAS GOING THROUGH A HARD TIME?

AND WHEN THEY WERE GOING THROUGH A HARD TIME?
THEY WANT ME TO FKN BE THERE!!!!!!!!!! FOR THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"ALL THESE CRUMBS? I'M DOING HER A FAVOR."
WHILE I BROUGHT THE FKN DINNER FOR THEM.

BUT IF IT "LOOKS BETTER" SOMEWHERE ELSE.....
BECAUSE: "A***'S GOING THROUGH IT."

WHY AM I GOING THROUGH IT?
BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE PLAYING GAMES?

MAYBE I DO MUCH BETTER!!!!!!!!!!! WHEN THEY AREN'T!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WHEN I DON'T HAVE TO FKN DEAL WITH FKTARDS!
FKTARDS WHO DO THAT SH*T!

HMMM!

"LIAR, YOU'RE SO MUCH BETTER THAN A***!"

PRETTY LITTLE LIES....
PRETTY LITTLE.... LIARS.

RIGHT?

WELP, THE TRUTH ISN'T SO.... "PRETTY"
BECAUSE IT'S NOT SUGAR ON BS.

GUESS WHAT?
IF SOMEONE DOES NOT WANT TO SEE YOU HAPPY....
THEY CAN LIE!

IF SOMEONE DOESN'T WANT TO SEE YOU "WIN"
THEY CAN LIE!

IF SOMEONE IS BEING SELFISH.....
THEY CAN LIE!

FOR OTHER REASONS TOO!

BUT..... IF THEY WANTED.... THAT.....
THAT.... IS.... WHAT.... THEY.... CAN HAVE.

NOT MY PROBLEM!

BUT WHEN I CALL THAT SH*T OUT....
FOR WHAT IT IS....
SUPPOSEDLY I'M THE XYZ....!!!! RIGHT?

LOSING SOMEONE THEY COULD HAVE COUNTED ON....
VS....
COMPARING THAT PERSON..... TO SOMEONE WHO WANTED THEM.....
TO.... SABOTAGE IT....
TO.... LOSE ACCESS TO IT.

AND TO COME RUNNING BACK!!!!!!!!!!
HMMM!

AND IF I DIDN'T LIVE THROUGH THIS SH*T.....
COULD I EXPLAIN IT TO YOU?
NO?

BECAUSE I WOULDN'T SEE IT.
I WOULDN'T KNOW IT.

PEOPLE CAN BE AFFECTED BY THINGS THEY CAN'T SEE
OR WHAT THEY DON'T "KNOW."

"HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THEY WANTED ME TO SABOTAGE IT?"

HOW????? COULD HAVE LISTENED TO ME....

BUT.... WHEN THEY SABOTAGE IT THEMSELVES?
WITHOUT ANYONE'S "HELP"?

THEN? NOT MY PROBLEM.

BUT SOMEONE ELSE CAN ONLY "MAKE" YOU SABOTAGE IT....
IF YOU LET THEM!!!!!!!!!!!! 

If you can't SEE that they are doing it and WHY they are doing it....
EASIER TO JUST LET THEM DO IT! RIGHT?

SO WOULDN'T YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY?

AND IF THEY HAVE A FKD UP REASON FOR DOING IT.....
THEY'LL LIE ABOUT THAT TOO!

THAT'S WHY..... YOU.... HAVE TO.... SEE.... PAST.... THAT.

AND IF YOU CAN'T.... YOU WON'T!

AND? NOT MY PROBLEM.

BUT I'M "TOXIC" BECAUSE SOMEONE CAN'T SEE XYZ. OKAY.

IF THEYCAN'T, THEY CAN'T!
IF THEY CAN'T BE FKN HONEST WITH THEMSELVES....
WOULD THEY BE HONEST WITH ME?

I ACCEPT THE DISTANCE PEOPLE CREATE WITH ME.

IF THEY CREATED DISTANCE.... IT WAS FOR A REASON.
SO THEN? I'M "TOXIC" FOR ACCEPTING THAT?

IF THEY AREN'T "READY" TO ACCEPT ANYTHING
LIKE FKN ACCOUNTABILITY.....

THEY WOULDN'T BE "READY" TO "MOVE FORWARD."

DO I NEED ANYONE WHO ISN'T READY?
NO? I DON'T? I DON'T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FFS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BUT BLAME ME FOR NOT BEING READY, TOO.
BLAME ME FOR FKN EVERYTHING.

FOR NOT BEING FKN SERIOUS.
FOR NOT BEING REAL.

WAS I SUPPOSED TO BELIEVE WE WERE GOING TO "MOVE FORWARD"
OR WANT TO?
AFTER 12 FKN YEARS???????? WTF??????

12 YEARS OF WHAT??????? SILENCE? NOTHING?

NOT EVEN "HOW ARE YOU?"

BUT WHY WOULD THEY "CARE" HOW I AM?
IT WAS EASY TO FKN DISCARD ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SO WHY WOULD THEY "CARE" HOW I AM?

GHOSTED.... "LEFT FOR DEAD."

GOTTA HAVE YOUR CAKE AND EAT IT TOO? FK THAT.

AND WHEN YOU CAN HAVE THAT INSTEAD OF ME....
GO FOR IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DO IT!!!!!!!!!!

CAN'T FKN PERSUADE ME AFTER 12 FKN YEARS....
OF FKN SILENCE....

TO WANT TO "RECONNECT."

WAS I SUPPOSED TO BE FKN PINING AWAY FOR 12 YEARS??????!!!!!!

HOW ARROGANT WOULD THEY HAVE TO BE TO ASSUME THAT??????!!!!!

I DATED AFTER HE DISCARDED ME! WHY?
BECAUSE: I MOVED ON!

THAT'S WHY.

AND NOT WANTING TO..... COULD BE.... BECAUSE......
I ALREADY SAW THAT SH*T....
DIDN'T APPRECIATE BEING UNAPPRECIATED.....
TAKEN FOR GRANTED....
TREATED LIKE CRAP.....
OVER BS....

BECAUSE SOME JEALOUS HOE
DIDN'T WANT THEM TO "SEE" MY VALUE.

"IF HE CAN'T SEE HER VALUE.... HE WON'T SEE IT.
AND I CAN USE THAT TO MY ADVANTAGE."

THEY FKN WILL!!!!!!!!!
IF THAT'S WHAT THEY WANT TO DO!!!!!!!!!!
IF THEY HAVE A REASON TO DO THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!

BUT IF YOU KNOW THEY DO.....
BECAUSE YOU CAN SEE WHAT THE REASON IS.....

THEY BLOCK ME SO I CAN'T BLOCK THEM! LOL!

ALL THE CHANCES I GAVE MIRROR SMASHER....
HE DIDN'T NEED TO GET FROM ME.
HE COULD HAVE GOT WHATEVER TF HE WANTED FROM ME
FROM SOMEONE ELSE.

IF I WAS ONLY GOOD FOR XYZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AND WHEN I SHUT HIM DOWN?
HOW DID HE ACT? HOW?

BECAUSE WHY SHOULD ANYONE
WHO ALREADY HAD CHANCES WITH ME.....

GET ANYTHING ELSE FROM ME?

WHY?

IF THEY WANTED TO FK ME AROUND.
AND FK THEMSELVES OVER...
WHEN IT CAME TO ME....

THEY WANTED TO DO THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!
RIGHT?

THE COMMENT ABOUT LOOKING IN THE MIRROR ETC...
AS THOUGH I FKN CARE ABOUT WHAT I LOOK LIKE?

DO I HAVE TO FKN LOOK ANY TYPE OF WAY?
FOR ANYONE'S "VALIDATION"?

DO I HAVE TO "LOOK IN A MIRROR"
TO VALIDATE MYSELF? NO?

SO WHY TF WOULD I DO THAT SH*T?
JUST BECAUSE "OTHER GIRLS" DO THAT SH*T?

A***'S A FEMALE. SHE "MUST" DO WHAT "OTHER FEMALES" DO.

DO ALL DUDES HAVE TO DO WHAT OTHER DUDES DO?

DO ALL DUDES NEED TO BE FKTARDS?
JUST BECAUSE OTHER DUDES ARE FKTARDS?
TOWARDS WOMEN?

DO THEY NEED TO BE?

OR? COULD THEY.... CHOOSE....
NOT TO BE.... A FKTARD?

SO THEN..... SOME FEMALES.... AREN'T.... "TYPICAL"?
WHO DON'T WANT TO BE XYZ OR DO XYZ?

BEING FEMALE DOESN'T AUTOMATICALLY MEAN XYZ!!!!!!!!!!!!! FFS!

IT WOULD BE COOL IF THAT WAS KNOWN AND REALIZED!

SO THEY AREN'T BEING TREATED LIKE XYZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BECAUSE WE DON'T FKN DESERVE THAT SH*T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
IF THE ROLES WERE REVERSED?

IF WOMEN TREATED MEN THE WAY MEN TREAT WOMEN????!!!!
IN THE COUNTRIES WHERE WOMEN HAVE NO "RIGHTS"?

IF MEN HAD NO "RIGHTS"? 
THEN WHAT?
WHAT WOULD THAT "LOOK LIKE"
WOULD THAT BE "FAIR"?
HONESTLY?

IF NOT.....
IT'S NOT FKN FAIR TO US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
IT ISN'T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AND???? NEVER WAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AND IF YOU WAIT 12 YEARS.....
AFTER DOING FKD UP SH*T TO SOMEONE.....
TO "COMMUNICATE" WITH THEM.....
BUT NOT IN THE WAY THEY DESERVE.....
AFTER 12 FKN YEARS.....

DISREGARDING AND DISCARDING THEM.....

THEY DID THAT! NOT ME!

THEY PUT THEMSELVES IN THAT FOR DOING THAT.
TO ME.

AND I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR REOPENING A DOOR
THEY SLAMMED IN THEIR FACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'M ALLOWED TO LOCK IT!
AND "STAY HOME"
AND "LIVE MY LIFE"
WITHOUT THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THEY WANTED TO SLAM THE DOOR, RIGHT?

SO THEN? WHY FKN KNOCK AFTER SLAMMING IT?
RIGHT OFF ITS FKN HINGES?

JUST TO SEE IF I WOULD OPEN IT?
I CAN TALK THROUGH THE DOOR....
BUT I DON'T NEED TO FKN REOPEN IT.

THAT DOOR GETS TO STAY SHUT, LOCKED.
ACCESS DENIED AND REVOKED. OKAY?

BECAUSE: ON PRINCIPLE.....
IF I DID THAT SH*T.....
WOULD THEY EVER FKN TALK TO ME AGAIN?
THEY DON'T FKN HAVE TO TALK TO ME!
PROBABLY WOULDN'T WANT TO! 

RIGHT?

BEING DRAGGED THROUGH THE MUD.....
DOESN'T MAKE ME WANT TO FKN "TRY AGAIN."

CONTRARY TO "POPULAR BELIEF."

WOULD IT MAKE THEM WANT TO "TRY AGAIN"? NO?

"THEY CHOSE TO DO IT THE HARD WAY." OKAY.

IF THEY ARE DISGUSTED WITH HOW THEY TREATED ME....
THAT IS ONE THING....

BUT? NOT MY PROBLEM.

BUT DO THEY WANT TO BE 80 YEARS OLD AND WONDER WHY
THEY DID XYZ TO ME?
AND WHAT THINGS MIGHT HAVE BEEN LIKE?
IF THEY HADN'T?

IF THEY DO... THEY CAN GO FOR IT.

BECAUSE I CAN BE 80 ONE DAY AND BE HAPPY!!!!!!!
THAT I DIDN'T SETTLE FOR BS I DIDN'T DESERVE!!!!!!!!!

FOR SOMEONE WHO THOUGHT I HAD NO FKN VALUE!!!!!!!!!!!
WASN'T "WORTH" IT, RIGHT?

BECAUSE? I REQUIRED THEM TO LEVEL UP?

"THEY GOT LAZY AND EXPECTED YOU TO DO IT ALL."
LIKE MOST RELATIONSHIPS I'VE EVER FKN BEEN IN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHY SHOULD I FKN COMPROMISE AND COMPENSATE?
FOR FKN BS?

SHOULD I? OR?
SHOULD I EVEN WANT TO? NO?

IF THEY HAVE TO FIND OUT THAT IT SUCKS WITHOUT ME....
THEY HAVE TO FIND OUT.

NOT THAT I'M "THE BEST THING EVER"
I HAVE VALUE BECAUSE I HAVE VALUES.

AND IF THEY HAVE TO LOSE ME TO KNOW THEY COULD HAVE
FKN DONE BETTER! GROWN UP! LEVELED UP!
WOKEN UP!

TO ALL THE THINGS I WISH THEY SAW!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BUT COULDN'T.... OR WOULDN'T.

IF THEY DID.... THINGS.... COULD HAVE.... BEEN.....
DIFFERENT.... THAN.... HOW IT TURNED OUT.

BECAUSE OF WHAT THEY CHOSE.

IF THINGS DON'T GET "BETTER" WITHOUT ME....
I WASN'T THE FKN "PROBLEM."

MAYBE HOW THEY CHOSE TO TREAT ME LIKE SH*T....
WAS THE PROBLEM.

AND THAT I OBVIOUSLY AND FOR OBVIOUS REASONS....
DID NOT.... FKN.... APPRECIATE IT.

IF SOMEONE WANTS YOU TO SABOTAGE SOMETHING....
AND KNOWS YOU HAVE FEARS AND DOUBTS...

WHAT DO YOU THINK THEY'LL TRY TO USE?
AGAINST YOU?
TO MAKE YOU SABOTAGE?

"HE'S SCARED SHE ISN'T FOR REAL?! LET ME USE THAT.
TO MAKE HIM THINK SHE'S NOT!"

"HE'S SCARED SHE'D CHEAT ON HIM?! LET ME USE THAT.
TO MAKE HIM THINK SHE'S A HOE."

GET THE POINT?

AND NOBODY CAN MAKE YOU THINK THINGS....
YOU DON'T LET YOURSELF THINK.

WHY WOULD YOU LET YOURSELF THINK SOMETHING
SOMEONE ELSE WANTED YOU TO THINK
SO YOU WOULDN'T DO XYZ?

"I WAS TOLD A*** IS AN XYZ.... WHY WOULD THEY LIE TO ME?"
"I WAS TOLD A*** WOULD DO XYZ..... WHY WOULD THEY LIE TO ME?"

WELL????? WHY? DO YOU KNOW YET?
OR DO I HAVE TO EXPLAIN THAT AGAIN?

BUT? "WHY SHOULD I LISTEN TO YOU?"
IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHY.....
I DON'T HAVE TO WASTE MY TIME TELLING YOU ANYTHING!

BECAUSE: I KNOW.... IT WOULD BE.... A WASTE.... OF MY TIME!!!!!!!!

AND? I DON'T FKN LIKE.... MY TIME.... WASTED....
BECAUSE: I CAN'T GET IT BACK!

SO? MY TIME IS..... FOR ME.
NOT FOR FKTARDS TO WASTE.

BECAUSE: THAT IS FAIR TO ME.
NOT TO WASTE MY TIME.
NOT TO LET SOMEONE WHO ALREADY FKD ME AROUND....
TO FK ME AROUND SOME MORE!

THAT'S WHY!

AND TO EXPLAIN THAT.... BUGS ME....
BUT IF I DON'T?
WILL ANYONE "GET IT"? NO?
MAYBE ON THEIR OWN.... ONE DAY.... BUT....

12 YEARS LATER.... "I FEEL LONELY. BETTER TRY TO HIT A*** UP!"
BECAUSE: A*** WAS ALWAYS THERE!
RIGHT?

UNTIL WHEN????? UNTIL: A*** STOPPED WANTING TO BE THERE.....
BECAUSE OF???? BS!!!!!!!!!!

"I'LL COME BACK WHEN I MISS THE COMFORT I GOT FROM HER."
"SHE'LL KEEP BEING AN OPTION BECAUSE SHE'S BEEN PATIENT."
"SHE CARES, SO SHE'LL TOLERATE MY CRAP."

NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DO NOT FKN ASSUME ANYTHING ABOUT ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LIKE WHAT BEING PATIENT ACTUALLY MEANS!
WHAT CARING MEANT!

LIKE I WASN'T GOING TO FOCUS ON MY OWN LIFE OR SOMETHING!

"EMOTIONAL DISTANCE CHANGES THE DYNAMIC."

I WASN'T A "BACKUP PLAN"
JUST BECAUSE I WAS BEING TREATED LIKE ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THEY THOUGHT THEY HAD TIME TO "REVISIT" IT!
LIKE THE DOOR WOULD ALWAYS BE OPEN!!!!!!!!!!

OPPORTUNITIES WON'T WAIT FOR YOU!
SHOULD THEY WAIT FOR YOU?
FOR 12 FKN YEARS????????? WTF IS THAT SH*T???????????

IF YOU LIVE WITHOUT SOMETHING I WAS GIVING
AND WILLING TO GIVE.... TO GIVE THAT....

TO FIND OUT WHAT IT IS LIKE WITHOUT IT....
YOU CAN DO THAT!

BUT.... IF YOU SEE THE VALUE OF IT.....
AFTER..... I'M GONE....

BECAUSE YOU CREATED THE DISTANCE....
WITH YOUR OWN CHOICES....

MISSING THE ATTENTION I GAVE
VS
SEEING WHAT THEY ACTUALLY HAD ACCESS TO
WHEN THEY HAD ACCESS TO ME....

BUT "I HAVE OPTIONS." OKAY THEN. ENJOY THOSE "OPTIONS."
AND IF..... NONE OF THAT SH*T WORKS OUT FOR YOU......

WHY FKN TRY.... TO COME BACK?

"WANTED THE COMFORT OF HAVING ME THERE....
WITHOUT MAKING ANY EFFORT."

THEIR "INABILITY" TO "CHOOSE"
OR.... TREAT ME.... LIKE MY FEELINGS MATTERED...
NOT SOMEONE TO TRY TO "REVISIT"
12 FKN YEARS LATER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

KINDNESS DOES NOT MEAN: A*** WILL ALWAYS BE THERE!!!!!!!!!
WAITING AND "PINING" OR WHATEVER TF ELSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"MY BACKUP PLAN WILL BE WAITING FOR ME."
EVEN 12 YEARS LATER??????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!! WTF??????????

THEY JUST WANTED TO HAVE ACCESS AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AND I DON'T FKN OWE IT TO THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SHOULD I HAVE TO SQUEEZE MYSELF INTO WHATEVER SPACE
IS LEFT OVER?

FK NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FK THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DO THEY DESERVE ACCESS? OR NOT?
JUST THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AFTER WAITING 12 YEARS???????? WTF??????!!!!!
AFTER THE BS 12 YEARS AGO?????

I CAN MISS SOMEONE AND NEED MORE THAN "MEMORIES."
ESPECIALLY SH*TTY ONES.

MISS HOW I THOUGHT IT WAS GOING TO BE....
NOT HOW IT TURNED OUT TO BE.

MISS WHO I THOUGHT THEY WERE....
THEY WEREN'T!

WERE THEY SOMEONE WHO WOULDN'T TREAT ME LIKE THAT?
OR DID THEY DO THAT?

AND? DID THEY CHOOSE TO DO THAT? YEAH?

THEN? ISN'T THAT ALL I NEED TO KNOW?
FOR ME TO ACCEPT "THAT DIDN'T TURN OUT THE WAY I THOUGHT."
AND ME TO JUST.... MOVE ON.

"I CAN RETURN WHENEVER I WANT!" 

CAN YOU????????????? 
WAS I WAITING FOR THEM TO "DECIDE" FOR 12 YEARS?
WHETHER I WAS "GOOD ENOUGH"
TO BE TREATED LIKE I MATTERED TO THEM?

OR WAS I LIVING MY LIFE JUST FINE WITHOUT BEING TREATED LIKE CRAP?
BY THEM? BECAUSE I ACCEPTED THE "DISCARD."

"BUT YOU WERE MY BACKUP PLAN! SAVE THE BEST FOR LAST!"
NO..... YOUR TIME.... WAS NOT UNLIMITED....
MY PATIENCE WAS NOT UNLIMITED....
HOW MUCH I CARED.... WAS NOT UNLIMITED!

"SOMEONE CAN REGRET LOSING YOU
BUT NOT BE ABLE TO BUILD WITH YOU."

WHY WOULD I BE WAITING FOR HIM TO REALIZE MY VALUE?
FOR HIM TO "RETURN" IF HE "WANTED" TO?

I AM NOT REQUIRED TO REGRANT ACCESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'M NOT!!!!!!!!!!!
OR OBLIGATED TO DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AND IF SOMEONE GETS MAD THAT I WON'T REGRANT IT.....
THEY CAN BE MAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHAT DID THEY DO WHEN THEY HAD ACCESS? WHAT?
FKD ME AROUND.

SO THEN? THEY SHOULD GET THAT? AGAIN?
TO DO THE SAME SH*T THEY DID BEFORE?

BECAUSE THEY PROBABLY WILL!
DO THE SAME SH*T AS THEY DID BEFORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IF I DIDN'T WANT THAT SH*T 12 YEARS AGO.....
WHY TF WOULD I WANT THAT NOW?

"C'MON A*** BE MY BACKUP PLAN!" FK YOU FOR THAT!

DO I NEED SOMEONE WHO NEEDS TO LOSE ME
TO REALIZE I WASN'T SOMEONE TO PUT ON A SHELF?
AT ALL?
BUT FOR 12 YEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?????????????????????? WTF????????

I WAS FOOLISH TO TRUST HIM NOT TO DO THAT SH*T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I WANTED TO BE ABLE TO..... BUT I WASN'T! RIGHT?
BECAUSE IF I COULD HAVE.....
I COULD HAVE!

ALL THE PEOPLE I TRUSTED...... EVER.... NOT TO XYZ,,,,,,,
I FEEL FOOLISH FOR FKN TRUSTING THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I DO!

BUT I LEARNED! RIGHT?

DID THEY? NO?

EVEN IF THEY DO......... NOT MY PROBLEM!